Main content:

Metapost: Real life is a frickin’ drag

Folks, I know I’m terribly remiss in posting in a very important time in comics history (the swans! the swans!) but I’m under a mound of real-world work that isn’t getting any smaller. Posts in the beginning of this week may be sporadic and consolidory. Apologies in advance and thanks for your patience.

46 responses to “Metapost: Real life is a frickin’ drag”

  1. Adam-12
    July 18th, 2005 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    “Work?” What is this “work” that you speak of?

  2. Fence Post Frank
    July 18th, 2005 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Does Little Lady Mary need a fence to keep her swans in the yard?

    Or am I a day late and a dollar short, as usual?

  3. mwjunkie
    July 18th, 2005 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    i thought after sunday’s strip there was going to be a RAGE of unheardof proportions.
    but now mw’s just whinin as bad a rita does.
    maybe she’ll take a hit off the bottle while surveying the wreckage of her life

  4. Sassy_Rocks
    July 18th, 2005 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth could certainly use a drink right about now. After all, the bottle of Johnny Walker was supposed to be a gift from Rita to her, not for Rita to swill down on her sentimental journey. Rita needs some tough love and corporal punishment for her “accident”.

    “Out of my condo, you drunk! Go take a sentimental journey to the homeless shelter”.

  5. Beasley
    July 18th, 2005 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    So, Jefferson Jowdy’s got you under his thumb again, eh?

  6. Dennis Jimenez
    July 18th, 2005 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    The homeless shelter won’t take raging Rita if she’s been drinking. Take a sentimental journey to the cardboard box under the overpass by the throughway….

  7. Woodrowfan
    July 18th, 2005 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    I take off for a week for a business trip and when I come back do I find Swans? Nope, just some Marmaduke. BUMMER.

  8. left of the pyle
    July 18th, 2005 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    More posts, mule!

    BTW, Easiest. Jury Duty. Ever. After waiting outside the courtroom for 30 minutes prior to them even enpaneling a jury, the clerk came out to tell us that the defendant had taken a plea bargain. (20 yrs for aggravated robbery)

  9. Islamorada Girl
    July 18th, 2005 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    And he’ll be out and doing it again in six.
    Damn, crack and crank are expensive!

  10. Speed Racer X
    July 18th, 2005 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, and in that time, he’ll work out, get buffed up and be even harder to take down when he does it again. Not to mention well educated from the library, well informed from the hours of free cable, and well fed from the 3 squares a day they give you.

    As opposed to us, who eat fast food on the way to our stress filled jobs where we earn just enough to live but not enough to be comfortable, but we could if we had the time to go back to school, which we don’t.


  11. Anonymous
    July 18th, 2005 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, Woodrowfan, speaking of Marmaduke, in today’s episode we see him up on his hind legs, face-to-face with the mailman, pawing the poor sap, who exclaims, “Not again! I danced with you yesterday.” So we learn that Marmadick swings both ways. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  12. Dick
    July 18th, 2005 at 10:51 pm [Reply]



  13. fluffytufts
    July 18th, 2005 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, Dick (post #12)- I didn’t want to be the first person to ask about “consolidory.” Poor Josh is so swamped he’s had to start making up words to describe his situation! Stick it to the Man, Josh! Don’t let them take away your freedom! Power to the people! Yeah!

  14. Dave G
    July 18th, 2005 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    By the way, has anyone already mentioned that Blondie has clearly had a breast job somewhere along the way? In her earliest appearances, she’s nowhere near buxom enough to have her breasts seen from behind:

  15. Dave G
    July 18th, 2005 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Also, in regards to Josh’s comments that this recent continuity about the anniversary is outside the strip’s usual lack of continued storyline, it seems from reading the history of the strip that it started out as one long continuity strip about the courtship of Blondie and Dagwood. Kind of interesting, actually. From all appearances, it seems the strip took a nose dive in terms of the depth of it’s story telling when there was a decision to stop the kids from growing past teenage years in order to preserve the family theme. Once time was frozen, so was quality, apparently.

  16. Occam's Gillette
    July 18th, 2005 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    RE: #12, #13

    Well, perhaps Josh is crossing “consolatory” and “consolidatory” and will post some comic comments that will console the Cardinal College while making his own position stronger and more powerful.

    More consolidory comics, Mule!

  17. Lor
    July 19th, 2005 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    Well, Dave … I don’t know how many older women you know, but after motherhood and age a gal’s assets tend to, er, expand…

  18. Dave G
    July 19th, 2005 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    Lor, if motherhood causes women to get a figure like Blondie, I’m going to become a father as soon as I can!

  19. leathermessiah
    July 19th, 2005 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    Is Mark Trail running out of wildlife ideas? I swear we’ve had that same duck/beaver shot before…

  20. left of the pyle
    July 19th, 2005 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    In Tuesday’s FBOFW, Liz is back home for summer and back on her homewrecking path. Apparently not satisfied with causing tension in Anthony and Therese’s marriage, she’s moved up the food chain at the dealership and is taking on Gordon as well.

    Somebody get this girl a helicopter pilot before she singlehandedly doubles the divorce rate north of the border.

  21. WoodrowFan
    July 19th, 2005 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    hehe heh heh, he said “beaver shot”

  22. Wren Wah
    July 19th, 2005 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    If Lynn Johnston can make up slang expressions, Josh can invent new words.

  23. Nom du Jour
    July 19th, 2005 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    Seems Mary and Rita are heading to newer waters today. When Rita comes back from the Dollar Store with a new set of swans, Mary is going to put the memeory of her long dead husband to rest. And poor Dr. Jeff will be frozen out again.

    Maybe Opus can lend them some of the posters off his wall.

  24. RBF
    July 19th, 2005 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    I’d love to see Mary smash Fay’s picture over Ritzilla’s drunken head in revenge.

    You broke MY Shrine, now it’s your turn, you *^!&# lush!

  25. anon
    July 19th, 2005 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Ummmm…did anyone read today’s “Marvin”? And can you explain it to me? WTF? is the loathesome toddler talking about anyway???

  26. Robert Flaxman
    July 19th, 2005 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Oh, man, has a story today on Blondie’s anniversary:

    Here’s a choice quote from Chris Browne that perhaps explains why Sturgeon’s Law applies so well to the comics:

    “It’s survival of the funniest — it’s like Darwinian evolution on the comics page,” says “Hagar the Horrible” cartoonist Chris Browne. “It’s such a funny strip. Humor really comes out of honesty, and there’s a lot of honesty and lot of stuff we recognize in ‘Blondie.’ ”

    Yeah, Blondie is *hilarious*. I read every strip in the comics for years and years as an easy-to-please kid, and I’m sure I never laughed once at Blondie. But then, I probably never laughed at Hagar, either, even though I myself am a Viking and all that stuff *totally* happens.

  27. Occam's Gillette
    July 19th, 2005 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    #25 anon–RE: Marvin comic (07/19/05)

    Thoughout much of life, seems you no sooner learn something than you get tested on it in some form. School is the most obvious example, although bosses have a way of “testing” what you learn on company time as well (except for things I’ve learned at this site–ha! ha!). Since one meaning of “scat” has to do with excrement (parent word: scatology), I expect said loathesome toddler is making an unfunny joke about his potty training.

  28. Anonymous
    July 19th, 2005 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Refresh my tiny mind, folks. Is Gordon, the wheeler car dealer in FBorFW a peer of Michael or Elizabeth? It’s Mike, right? Either way, he hasn’t aged particularly well for a guy in his twenties. Same’s true for Anthony, but we can attribute that to his loveless marriage to Therese. But, yeah, LOTP, it looks like Lizardbreath is getting a bit too chummy with Gordo, the former grease-monkey. (Forgive me, David Puddy for using that term. High-five! On the flip side!)

  29. Speed Racer X
    July 19th, 2005 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Well, scratch the Mary/Ritazilla/Doc Jeff Love fest. Look at the extremely “Oh GOD get off me!” expression Mary has on her face today!

    Either that or she’s about to pass out from the fumes Rita is giving off and is tumbling backwards.

  30. Zorba the Geek
    July 19th, 2005 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Occam, the “parent word” is actually “scat”; “scatology” derives from it, not the other way around. “Scat” comes from the Greek word for (yes) human excrement. Still used in modern Greek, by the way: “Skaton” (noun). Used as an exclamation: “Skata!”

  31. luluchappel
    July 19th, 2005 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Anon (#28)–Yes, Gordon is a peer/friend of Mike’s. He & Tracy got married kind of young, & they had 2 kids fairly quickly. That’s why his kids are several years older than widdle Mewedith & Robin. Lizardbreath may be making her move on Gordo, but Tracy doesn’t have the control/jealousy issues that Therese has. Maybe she should.

  32. Sassy_Rocks
    July 19th, 2005 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Why does Lizardbreath always seem to be desperately seeking? It’s not like she’s butt ugly (like Gordo or Anthony) or lacking in moral scruples. She is, after all, a saintly Patterson. Maybe the problem is that even with her advenurous lifestyle, her personality is about as dull and lifeless as Gordo’s. Maybe they should get greasy together. Meanwhile, roadside April is sucking face and who knows what else at her grad at the age of 14!

  33. Zorba the Geek
    July 19th, 2005 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Remember, Sassy, she lived with a guy at college (I forget his name) and got badly burned when it developed he was cheating on her. I don’t think she’s really “desperately seeking” at all- I think she’s running away from any possible serious relationship.

  34. Zorba the Geek
    July 19th, 2005 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    P.S. This is what happens with a useless degree in psychology- you wind up analyzing comic book characters!

  35. Jeanne
    July 19th, 2005 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    I think Liz and Gordo have been friends for a while. I believe she used to babysit for him and Tracy, and that he has loaned her his motorcycle to use during the summers for the past few years. She’s kind of his ‘little sister’ by adoption

  36. luluchappel
    July 19th, 2005 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Zorba–The cheating live-in bf was named Eric. Clearly I know too much about FBOFW.

  37. fuzzmaster
    July 19th, 2005 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Blondie was a flapper in her early days, and thus, to fit the fashion of the day, would have hid her lamp under a basket … in other words, she was always packing, but when she was younger they were concealed weapons.

    Also: Lizardbreath has reason to be desperate, since she seems to be looking more and more like her mom every day … and that ain’t good, in hunk attracting terms.

    Just my imagination, or are the characters in MW looking particularly animatronic lately? Have they fired the live actors and replaced them with cardboard cutouts?

  38. JohnnyC
    July 19th, 2005 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Enough FBOW,you FOOBS! Back to the Widow Worth. I think she’s calculating whether Rita is sufficiently guilt-ridden that she’ll play “Mary” while our heroine plays “Jack.” Already, Mary has lost the belt that was keeping her robe closed in yesterday’s strip. She’s on her way, I tell you!

  39. Anne Nonymous
    July 19th, 2005 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    This site has definitely slowed down since Josh started the forum. I doubt that we’ll ever break 100 here again, much less get to “666″ or more. Josh is so busy with “work” (I’m assuming something that actually pays) that “The Comment of the Week” may turn into “Comment of the Several Weeks,” or even “Comment of the Month.”

  40. Jordon
    July 19th, 2005 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Is Luann having a stroke in the last panel of today’s A3G? Or is she giving someone off-camera the stink eye?

  41. PizzaBagel
    July 19th, 2005 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Luluchappel, thanks for your response to my comment (#28) – I see that somehow my name got zapped from the appropriate field, and I was “Anonymous” for the nonce.

    I maintain that Gordon looks more advanced in age than his peer Mike does. Is LJ trying to impress on us that his job – the great gobs of money pouring in notwithstanding – is wearing on the poor guy? Mike the writer, on the other hand, has a somewhat less demanding occupation. Granted, he has an occasional deadline – something a Saintly Patterson will handle with aplomb, of course – his job affords him more leisure time, so he still looks fairly youthful.

    Re your comment, Jeanne: If Elizabeth is like Gordon’s little sister, and they wind up in flagrante delicto (sp?), then would that be considered an incestuous relationship?

  42. fluffytufts
    July 19th, 2005 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    re Gordo’s appearance – Actually, all car dealers look like that. I’ve aged 15 years in the last 3. It’s all that lyin’ we do. Bwah-ha-ha-hah!

  43. fluffytufts
    July 20th, 2005 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Not that I’m on the selling end, thank God…

  44. Islamorada Girl
    July 20th, 2005 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    And I might add, from the pits of my profession, writers tend to age more like Gordo than Mike.

  45. Anne Nonymous
    July 20th, 2005 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    And editors age even faster, from having to deal with writers.

  46. Jeanne
    July 21st, 2005 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    I think it would only be pseudo incest, but maybe Mike could get in on it and make it the real thing.

Comments are closed for this post.