The second sex
For Better Or For Worse, 7/27/05
(Once again, not gonna piss off Mt. Foob by posting the strip here. No, sir. Read it here.)
So let’s take stock of feminism north of the border, shall we? Remember, a woman can do anything a man can do! Operate heavy machinery or what have you! And if you try to tell ‘em otherwise, why, you’re nothing but an boorish jerk with a receding hairline and a misshapen skull and a … a … weird little … thing in the middle of your forehead! Yeah! Jerk!
This only applies, of course, to women who haven’t had kids. Once you’ve had a baby, of course, your job is to stay home and raise ‘em. Yup, that’s what’s in your future till they can take care of themselves! What’s that? You say that you’re committed to your career and that your husband is perfectly willing to take over the childcare duties? You think that sounds like an equitable arrangement? Wrong! The gods of narrative will make sure that you come across as an emasculating wench, you … you … francophone!
Meanwhile, let’s see the proof that spider-sense doesn’t make for good financial sense.
Spider-Man, 7/27/05
Yeah, because the last thing I’d want if I had a high-stress job, time-consuming job that paid exactly nothing — like, say, being a superhero — would be for my wife to suddenly become extraordinarily wealthy. I mean, dude, you can climb up walls and what not, and now you’re feeling inadequate because you make less than your woman? I would definitely like to sign up for this sort of marital problem. I’m sure I’ll feel a twinge of discomfort, just before I dive head first into my Scrooge McDuck-style swimming pool of money that I didn’t have to work for.
Katzy
July 27th, 2005 at 11:08 pm
I didn’t get to see either of these strips in the paper today (local papers are pathetic), but I did however get to scope out some unusual sound-effects-in-place-of-actual-speech going on in Blondie. My personal favorite is in panel 3.
“BUMBA DOOPLE!” (how a person can make such a sound as they lick envelopes is so far beyond my comprehension that I won’t sleep all night now….)
Honey
July 27th, 2005 at 11:15 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one confused by the conflicting messages in FBOFW.
brooks
July 27th, 2005 at 11:53 pm
Mary Jane looks insane in that last frame…
Ron
July 28th, 2005 at 12:54 am
Insane and drawn from the same perspective as the demon daughter from Rex Morgan.
But, yeah, Parkers couple therapy would probably be interesting.
Jimmy
July 28th, 2005 at 1:29 am
Okay… Rita’s vanished into the night, but Mary seems calm enough to attend the Charterstone Barbecue and Schuetzenfest. You’d think she’d call 911… or check the hospital, fer cripe’s sake!
yellojkt
July 28th, 2005 at 5:30 am
Josh is really onto a trend. Combine these two strips with last weeks Curtis, and we have a quorum of the he-man women haters club forming.
Eric Blair
July 28th, 2005 at 6:58 am
Nah, don’t you see? That guy staying home with the kid is just pining for the daughter on the forklift. Its perfectly obvious that he wants to be dominated, the issue is by who–his current shrew of a wife, or the heavy machinery driving school marm.
MaryAnnTheRest
July 28th, 2005 at 7:26 am
What’s up with today’s FBOFW? Liz says, “I’ll report you” and Generic Creep Guy says, “I love a woman who hits back.” Huh???? Does this work in real life? When I think of all the times I could have said things like “I’ll tell your boss about your lazy stealing ways” or “I’ll tell your girlfriend about us” or “I’ll bet the IRS would like to know that” and gotten a response other than revenge, I could slap myself. If only I had known about “I love a woman who hits back” before.
Firegoat
July 28th, 2005 at 7:51 am
To wander off to Buck land, I’d just like to say that in the future I shall arrange to play poker with Archeologists whenever possible. What a great poker face in the last frame!
Smitty Smedlap
July 28th, 2005 at 7:51 am
On the FBOFW link, I notice they’re hawking a porcelain (baby) April doll. I wonder if they’ll come out with a new Roadside April version.
I love Howard’s come-ons. Wanna ride the big machine? Want me to show you my equipment?
He might as well come out and say “Do you want to see my enormous genitals?”
Monkeys Uncle
July 28th, 2005 at 8:03 am
I have only be reading the colorized version of The Amazing Spiderman for a few months and I am so distracted by her bizarre hair color I can barely follow the plot. When I was a teenager a friend of mine painted the gas tank from my old motorcycle for me. It was supposed to be black with candy apple red flames, but came out looking like a dirty red gas tank. Her hair looks almost exactly like that old gas tank right down to the poorly drawn flames and badly mixed paint. Ahh, that takes me back. Sigh…
TomR
July 28th, 2005 at 8:03 am
Peter can’t go West because people will see Spidey out there and automatically assume that HE’S SPIDERMAN! (As opposed, say to the 7+ million New Yorkers who might go to LA…)
And Peter can’t stop being SPIDERMAN because
Uncle Ben might get murdered by a thug he let gohe has a hangup.Great Responsibility doesn’t pay the bills, kids.
Ford Dent
July 28th, 2005 at 8:26 am
No see, it’s only okay to be a strong woman if you’re Liz.
See, because then you can make Andrew want to cheat on his hard working wife.
Islamorada Girl
July 28th, 2005 at 8:34 am
Who’s Andrew? Did I miss something?
Irina
July 28th, 2005 at 8:53 am
I think Ford meant Anthony, I-Girl.
And check out today’s (Thursday’s) Amazing Spider Man! Looks like Peter Parker has just come back from a visit to M!lford — check out the soulless blank pupils in the profile shot!
Death to Gil Parker!
Dingo
July 28th, 2005 at 9:03 am
Okay, here’s what scares me about today’s Mt. Foob: I’ve “been around the block” in my short lifetime and can say honestly that men built like Howard rarely fall into the category of the enormously enlarged genitalia. He’s a 4″ on a good night / 3 1/2″ usually if I ever saw one. In panel 3, he seems to be imitating Christopher Lloyd as Uncle Fester. Then, in panel 5, he has the same expression on his face as Faye Dunaway portraying Joan Crawford in the famous PepsiCo scene of “Mommie Dearest” when she says, “Don’t fuck with me, fellas. This ain’t my first time at the rodeo.” down to the painted on eyebrows!
A haiku:
Lynn, Lynn, how could you /
Sterling Silver Bunny Pin? /
Roadside whoredom’s here
http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5018141518
e
July 28th, 2005 at 9:07 am
Yeah, I’m really confused by FBOFW. To be honest, as soon as I saw today’s strip, I was SOO hoping you’d pick on it. So thank you.
I’m all for grrrl power and that, but sexual harassment in a comic strip?! Way to raise awareness, Lynn! I’d prefer to see that “No that’s sexual harassment” ad from the 80s thirty times in a row rather than read this FBOFW storyline.
The Burg
July 28th, 2005 at 9:17 am
Yup, looks like another life lesson is about to be handed down from Mt. Foob. How soon until we read the phrase “No means no!” in FBOW? I’m guessing within the next two of three installments, at which point creepy Howard will have Elizabeth pinned up against a stack of 25-lb. bags of peat moss.
Ken
July 28th, 2005 at 9:50 am
Anthony’s life sucks so bad he longs to be cooped up teaching Eskimo’s with Elizabeth.
Didn’t the guy who runs the car lot drop out of “university”? Why are they going out of the way to show how successful he has become?
Dennis Jimenez
July 28th, 2005 at 10:22 am
FBOFW – I’m hoping for some sort of stalker twist – though I’m sure the saintly Pattersons will turn it into some sort of object lesson for all of us.
Nom du Jour
July 28th, 2005 at 10:27 am
I know Pete Moss, and I don’t believe that he would want Howard and Liz on top of his 25-lb bags.
Irina
July 28th, 2005 at 10:33 am
I knew Pete Moss … Pete Moss was a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Pete Moss.
gov
July 28th, 2005 at 10:37 am
This has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but when did the Phantom become “Ghost who Walks 24 Hours”?
RBF
July 28th, 2005 at 10:41 am
Agree with Firegoat (#9) re: the poker face on “Doc” Hamilton in today’s RMMD . (Speaking of which, I don’t recall ever hearing a PHD referred to as “Doc” before Pusboy’s Dad called him that in yesterday’s strip.)
Anyway, I think the good Prof. wet his pants in more ways than one. How ecstatic can you be?
And how stupid are Rex and Buck for toting the possibly priceless package around with them, and presenting it to a virtual stranger.
RBF
July 28th, 2005 at 10:45 am
Sorry, obviously meant “Rex and Buck’s Pappy.”
edgeways
July 28th, 2005 at 11:16 am
2 other observations…. I prefer Edda’s reactions to this crap.
and the most annoying strip in the paper for me today was Dennis The Menice (don’t know where to link to for that piece of crap), where he is pulling down peices of old Navajo buildings, and the best the parents can come up with is (paraphrase), “guess it’s good they where in ruins before we got here”. How about instead “Dennis get your punk ass off those before they slap a huge fine on us and put you in child protective services becasue we forgot your ritalin.”
I swear the Mitchells are unfit to parent.
Jeff R.
July 28th, 2005 at 11:16 am
Of course, the gold standard for awful Sexual Harassment story arcs is and will probably always be the bizarre lesbian sexual harassment storyline that took over Luann for a year or so [it seemed] a while back. Next to that, it’s hard to see this epistle from Mt. Foob looking anything worse than mildly annoying.
rich24
July 28th, 2005 at 11:33 am
Mary Worth gets lectured today by Potbellied Aging Beatnik Guy: “Stop bringing those homeless alkies into our gated community, already!” (obviously wasn’t her first offense). You can tell she really hates this guy.
Meanwhile, Phantom decides to leave Min a alone with Guran for 24 hours (”You can’t be serious!”) while he goes off to check if the 1624 Phantom left graffiti on any of the walls…or something. No one’s wearing a watch…this should be a fun night. Maybe she can get Guran to dish some juicy d irt on his Big Friend.
Over in FBoW, “There are people in my life” sounds a bit coded – not knowing better I’d think it meant “Take a hint, foob, I’m gay”, or, “I’m part of a big swinging community and they’ll kick your ass!” (not that swingers are know n for their athleticism. I know this from watching Real Sex on HBO). I chuckled at “We’ll go to the bar after work” – yes, the ONE bar in this happenin’ town! Where they would no doubt run into John Patterson’s creepy skirt-chasing associate of a few year s back. One of Weird Howard’s best buddies, I’m sure. And what’s with that post-orgasmic expression in the final panel – “I get especially turned on when they struggle!” (Okay, “BTK”, you’re gettin’ a time out!) Hurry, Anthony, hurry!
Adouble
July 28th, 2005 at 11:42 am
Josh, stop! Don’t jump into a giant pool of gold dubloons. They aren’t nearly as giving as that opening of Ducktails made them look like.
Lor
July 28th, 2005 at 12:04 pm
rich24, Ian is such a jerk. I can’t see him without wanting to give him a big red Indian burn. Can’t $ee what hi$ young pretty wife $ee$ in him but it mu$t be compelling.
camel
July 28th, 2005 at 12:18 pm
Liz isn’t teaching Eskimos. She’s teaching First Nations children.
Ford Dent
July 28th, 2005 at 12:39 pm
OF COURSE I MEANT ANTHONY.
I was on crack.
You know, the more I think about Foob, the more I think Liz is gonna get r-to the-aped. Mostly because it would make a real life lesson and it’s been a while since they did one of those.
Sourbelly
July 28th, 2005 at 12:55 pm
Camel, remember that, in reality, it’s those Northern Peoples who are teaching Liz, what with their eco-saintly ways and quiet nobility and stuff.
chopper
July 28th, 2005 at 1:45 pm
Has Harold been properly introduced? I missed his last name. It has to be something like Gorkblaster or Bilesmelt or maybe even Dickwad.
Zorba the Geek
July 28th, 2005 at 1:48 pm
chopper, it’s “Howard,” not “Harold,” although I like your suggestions for his last name.
Patrick Wynne
July 28th, 2005 at 1:49 pm
Someone else’s take on this Spidey strip:
http://www.beaucoupkevin.com/2005/07/blog-post_28.html
Bill Peschel
July 28th, 2005 at 1:50 pm
Yes, I prefer Edda response (”Whimper twice for yes”) to the Saintly Patterson (”I’m gonna tell my boss on you!”)
chopper
July 28th, 2005 at 2:10 pm
re #35
Damned keyboard!
marykat
July 28th, 2005 at 3:08 pm
Smitty wondered (comment #10) if those lines that Howard was using really work. I am here to tell you, after spending my entire engineering career in one manufacturing plant or another, that there are countless redneck hicks out there that think those lines are AWESOME! If I had a nickle for every 40 something, bald, toothless, pot-bellied minimum wage worker who used those lines on me (especially when I was still in college) I’d be a millionaire. Or maybe I would be one if I took Liz’s advice and “told on them” and then sued their a** for every penny they were worth. But then agian, I am marrying one, so what is my opinion worth. (See, sometimes those lines do work!)
Zorba the Geek
July 28th, 2005 at 3:16 pm
marykat, are you describing our own Fence Post Frank? (Leaving out only that he’s not minimum wage, given that he has his own fencing company.)
chopper
July 28th, 2005 at 3:27 pm
I always had success with “The only thing better than roses on my piano is tulips on my organ.” but then I’m the suave and debonaire type.
Woodrowfan
July 28th, 2005 at 4:31 pm
I’m kinda hoping Liz will decide she likes the crude guy and lawrence catches them ina reverse cowgirl on some bags of pete moss. Then Edda wanders in and… ahem. sorry. where was i???
Dingo
July 28th, 2005 at 4:33 pm
Chopper, if this were the 1850s and I prone to wearing crinolines, you’d have made me drop my fan.
Islamorada Girl
July 28th, 2005 at 6:21 pm
“This has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but when did the Phantom become “Ghost who Walks 24 Hours”?”
When they put a Bandarbucks in at the Skull Island Mall. Phanton on caffeine jag since 2001.
RBF
July 28th, 2005 at 6:57 pm
Yeh yeh. Let’s face it. Lynn is trying to OVERcompensate for the previous strips. She feels guilty.
marykat
July 28th, 2005 at 8:26 pm
Zorba…it is more like my own “Larry the cable guy”, although in a pinch he could easily cover for our favorite overpriced contractor.
RBF
July 28th, 2005 at 8:49 pm
Hey Josh, time to update COTW
Here’s one: Fencepost Frank meets up with Ritzilla in the “under the expressway” homeless area.
FPF: How YOU doin?
Ritzilla: You got any scotch?
FPF: No, i just brought along some drugs.
Ritzilla: *&#*# YOU
FPF: Here’s my card.
Mibbitmaker
July 28th, 2005 at 9:42 pm
I think “I like a lady who hits back” means that anything she does to stop him and shut him up will just make him hornier. This idiot will be harder to defeat than an Iraqi insurgent!
I objected to the cavalier way the strip treated her beating of that Eric jerk, but in this case, Liz gets a ‘gimme’ from me to be a “lady who hits back” – literally.
It must be Male Chauvinist Pig Month on the comics page (though I don’t buy the mysogynist angle on the Anthony plotline; Terese is just the gender reverse of the chronically abscent husband/dad).
aah
July 28th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Chopper, what about Howard Batterysmelt?
aah
July 28th, 2005 at 11:04 pm
Whenever I see Spiderman I get the impression that they want to draw Mary Jane as a beautiful woman, but they always seem to miss the mark. Is it her hair color or the cleft in her chin? Somehow she looks dated and a little odd.
PizzaBagel
July 29th, 2005 at 12:37 am
Edgeways, here’s a link to yesterday’s Dennis The Menace that you were looking for:
http://www.chron.com/content/chronicle/comics/archive/showComick.mpl?date=20050728&name=Dennis_The_Menace
I was thinking pretty much the same thing as you when I read this “effort” – but you verbalized what I would have said far better than I could. Kudos to you.
Today the brat opens his big mouth to a cowboy talking on a cell phone, basically telling him that his dad thinks he’s a girlie man. Don’t Dennis’ parents ever learn to not trust the kid with gossipy chatter? That “joke” – appearing probably at least once a week – has to be one of the stalest running gags in comicdom. Enough already!
Mibbitmaker
July 29th, 2005 at 8:35 am
#50: Definately the cleft!
rich24
July 29th, 2005 at 10:10 am
Regarding links to strips: I keep the Seattle Post-Intelligencer bookmarked on my computer, it’s a handy link to Mary Worth, Rex M., Mark Trail, Blondie, Dennis, Tiger (?! They’re still producing Tiger strips??!) and all the other comics too cool for my hometown papers. Just ’bout everything except maybe For Better or Worse.
sally
July 29th, 2005 at 10:29 am
I’ve always thought Mary Jane was a guy in drag, or drawn by someone who wishes she were.
DrBear
July 29th, 2005 at 11:21 am
Who’s Mary Jane’s agent? Louie Anderson?
katya
July 29th, 2005 at 11:36 am
Edgeways, your Dennis the Menace comments were awesome. I was shocked when I first saw that strip yesterday, and glad someone articulated that here.
Also, when was the last time a historic place had a generic sign like “Navajo Ruins”? Next it will be “Very Old House” or “Historic Ship.”
Bill from Canada
July 31st, 2005 at 2:13 pm
I’m sorry, but I just don’t see what you’re objecting to in this particular strip, taken on its own. I thought Liz was handling the situation well, not being aggressive but not backing down. If you were just anticipating and ruing the ongoing storyline, that’s different,but I don’t see it as a hard core feminist thing: Howard would have still come off as a jerk if it had been a male employee in the driver’s seat. As for Therese, she was being portrayed as being a jerk long before the “stay at home Dad” storyline started, so I don’t know that there is a direct causal connection. If you would prefer to have storylines with no conflict though, or where the action is stretched out over an interminable time, I would say that Mark Trail and Apartment 3-G fill that requirement.
Jeanne
July 31st, 2005 at 2:13 pm
Hey, Josh made the Yahoo Picks of the Week.
Congrats.
Mary
August 12th, 2005 at 9:45 pm
Re: FBoFW – I’m still waiting to see why they didn’t kick Michael and Deanna’s freako neighbor’s out yet. A bit territorial ain’t they?
Oh and this is over a week later than the last post but you know that Anthony’s gonna now profess his love to Liz, dump the bitch of a wife he has and take off with Liz to Mitagwaki or wherever she teaches. Big surprise there.
Bitsy
August 13th, 2005 at 9:45 pm
Seriously folks.
How old is April?
In the US 8th graders are 14 years old. But don’t Canadians enroll in elementry school a year or two earlier than us?
Bess
August 16th, 2005 at 4:33 am
I’ve never heard that. I think April’s age makes sense.
As for the Liz/Anth storyline…I don’t know. It kinda bugs. Not for any femenist reasons, I feel like that has all been pretty ok, I mean, Anthony did sweep in and save Elizabeth and all that, but in that type of situation, where you are physically unable to defend yourself then you kind of need help. so no big deal there. Go save her man! What really bugs me is the casualness of Anthony’s marriage. He seems like such a dope. He loved Liz but married the witch, begged her to have a baby and now has to take care of her all by himself. He kinda needs to think things through a little more….or at all.
Anonymous
August 16th, 2005 at 2:43 pm
APRIL. IS. 14. SHE WAS BORN ON APRIL 1, 1991. SHE. IS. FOURTEEN.