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Conversion therapy

Mark Trail, 8/23/05

Mary Worth has taught us that a few hours in the horror show that is a women’s shelter can cure alcoholism; now Mark Trail is here to illustrate that some clean, honest fun in a canoe is a sure-fire cure for sociopathy. Mark my words, Lady MacAscot here is going to love fishing so much that she’ll forget all about her plan to murder Boyd. Great Outdoors 1, Evil 0.

Fortunately for this storyline, there’s still no cure for rabies. Each day I pray for the first flecks of foam on El Presidente’s lips. Please, Elrod, make it soon, I beg of you!

31 responses to “Conversion therapy”

  1. no tea
    August 23rd, 2005 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    FIRST!

  2. no tea
    August 23rd, 2005 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    Could it be… a FISH!?

  3. Anonymous
    August 23rd, 2005 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    THIRD

  4. no tea
    August 23rd, 2005 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    Actually you’re second, because I commented twice.

  5. Action Guy
    August 23rd, 2005 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does Lynn have the carcass of Pepe LePew on her head?

  6. Wes Rand
    August 23rd, 2005 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    That is one dirty strip. “Something made my line move” indeed!

  7. Adam-12
    August 23rd, 2005 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    Maybe it’s a ginormous beaver!

    [Sorry ladies, just had to say it!]

  8. Anonymous
    August 24th, 2005 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    LYNN’S INCOMPLETE EYELASHES.

    I mentioned this on an earlier board, but it strikes me as so odd I must bring it up again, to wit….

    What in the name of all that’s holy in the Lost Forest is going on with Lynn’s eyelashes?

    The inner half of her eyelids are totally devoid of lashes (whether from errant plucking or the result of some genetic mutation remains to be determined) while the outer half sports thick, lush lashes that must have required an entire tube of Revlon Ultra-Lash.

    And, for good measure, might I inquire about Lynn’s hands? In the first panel, her left hand is a tragically malformed, club-like appendange that appears to be comprised on a mere three fingers and a hidden thumb. And yet, in the next panel that same hand, upon closer examination, looks to be equipped with at least one extra digit (assuming she has a thumb on the other side of that fishing pole).

  9. Dr. Ruth
    August 24th, 2005 at 4:56 am [Reply]

    “Keep your rod tip up?” Is he really qualified to be giving out that kind of advice?

  10. Chris
    August 24th, 2005 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    “And now our on-the-spot live report of ‘Day 10: Has Liz Gone To The Police Yet?’ We join Carrie Richards as she breaks this news flash…Carrie?”

    “Well, Jim…the answer is no. Back to you, Jim.”

    “Thank you, Carrie.”

  11. Lee
    August 24th, 2005 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Why hasn’t Nancy Grace picked up this story yet?

  12. yellojkt
    August 24th, 2005 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Tip A Canoe Watch Day 3:
    Mark and Vincente are out of sight. You can almost hear the gears grinding in Lady MacAscot’s head.

  13. Steve
    August 24th, 2005 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    I love the way bad women always have skunk hair. (Wasn’t this the case in Josie and the Pussycats?) Makes it real easy to spot them in real life.

  14. Blake
    August 24th, 2005 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    I, too, noticed the skunk hair evil thing. Maybe they have some sort of skunk scalping ritual before they become evil?

  15. sally
    August 24th, 2005 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Skunk Hair = Evil: The archetype for this, of course, is Cruella deVil. In the book, after all the dogs escape, the black side of her hair turns white and the white side of her hair turns green from the shock.

  16. Archivalist
    August 24th, 2005 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Panel 3 is right out of Roy Lichtenstein.

  17. Laughing Boy
    August 24th, 2005 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Is this really being published? And I thought FBOFW was bad…

  18. marykat
    August 24th, 2005 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Forget Nancy Grace…why hasn’t Greta Van Sustern abandoned Aruba for the groundbreaking happpenings of foobville? Then we’ll get to find out what happened to all the obsolete peripheral characters that she interviews to find out their side of the story.

  19. Lisa
    August 24th, 2005 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    I am waiting with “baited” breath to learn if Lynn has hooked a SNOOK.

  20. JohnnyC
    August 24th, 2005 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    do skunks carry rabies?

  21. Lisa
    August 24th, 2005 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    I am waiting with “baited” breath to see if Lynn has hooked a SNOOK.

  22. RBF
    August 24th, 2005 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    More skunk hair and flecks of foam, Mule!

    (It had to be said.)

  23. RBF
    August 24th, 2005 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    Good one Lisa re: “baited breath”.

    Gotta disagree with Pope Josh on this one.. catching a friggin’ fish is not gonna turn Skunkhair-broad from evil to good. Only a country club membership will “float her boat.”

    Sadly, her hubby and Mark are somewhere off in a cove doing who knows what.

    Sorry ’bout your luck, Joan Crawford Zombie.

  24. RoyDrink
    August 24th, 2005 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised that nobody got the connection with Gasoline Alley. It’s the Unannounced Cartoon Woman Blowup Contest! First it was the waitress, now Lynn, who knows what next? Maybe one of Rita’s bloodshot eyes, or Margo’s ear hair!

  25. PizzaBagel
    August 24th, 2005 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does Lynn have the carcass of Pepe LePew on her head?

    Nah … she has naturally black hair, but got that stripe of white when she crawled under an iron fence which had just been painted white … which is the same lame setup at the beginning of every lame Pepe LePew cartoon. With all due respect to the great Chuck Jones, I cannot stomach Pepe LePew. IMHO he is a one-joke character – and a pathetic “joke,” at that – and is my least favorite character in the entire WB cartoon pantheon.

  26. Isaac B2
    August 24th, 2005 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    Is it me, or does she seem to get older in each panel?

  27. Mibbitmaker
    August 25th, 2005 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    No, #26, *we* get older in each panel!

    Hey, maybe if the “camera” would just PULL BACK ALITTLE, MAYBE we’d SEE WHAT’s ON the STUPID LINE!![/Lewis Black]!! Who knows, maybe the “Jack Elrod” ball rolled off the edge of the boat and into the water, floating up to the hook….

    On the skunk-hair (related to Dave Letterman’s “skunkeye”?), I have a question that needs answering at long last: why doesn’t Margo have skunk-hair??

  28. RBF
    August 25th, 2005 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    Margo isn’t REALLY all that evil, Mibbit. She just seems that way compared to her goody-goody roommates.

    And coming up: Skunk-broad from Mark Trail falls out of the canoe. Rabies-guy El Presidente jumps into the lake to save her, just as the foam begins to frothily drool.

    More at eleven.

  29. johncomic
    August 29th, 2005 at 4:40 am [Reply]

    Can’t decide: in panel 2, does Lynn’s mutation involve having undersize arms or an oversize head??

    Either way, I can’t believe what is allowed to pass for a publishable rendition of a “realistic-strip” human being. In my own strips, I fret so much over the proportions of my renditions of my characters… but then I see stuff like this and, like, my god why do I bother?

  30. Mary Brandt
    September 6th, 2005 at 5:49 am [Reply]

    Gah! Her eyelashes have spread across to the side of her right eye and are planning on devouring her entire FACE.

    -MB

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