Archive: Mark Trail

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Zits, 6/24/17

Today’s Zits was originally supposed to be about Jeremy accidentally killing an endangered rhino at his summer job at the zoo, but apparently there are still editorial standards for syndicated comic strips.

Blondie, 6/24/17

Today’s Blondie was originally supposed to be about Dagwood’s visible erection, but apparently there are still editorial standards for syndicated comic strips.

Crankshaft, 6/24/17

Today’s Crankshaft was originally supposed be about Ed’s consensual watersports-centered erotic life being filmed and uploaded to the Internet without his consent, but apparently there are still editorial standards for syndicated comic strips.

Mark Trail, 6/24/17

Today’s Mark Trail is obviously setting up a reference to Lesely Joyce, the mistress at “Waterworld,” a sex dungeon for those like the Trails who enjoy occasional forays into the pissdom lifestyle. Are there still editorial standards for syndicated comic strips? We’ll find out tomorrow!

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Mark Trail, 6/23/17

“We eventually located the GPS unit, but it had been attached to a 1960 281 series tanker truck, which we found at the base of a cliff. It was apparently involved in an accident with a car and ran off the cliff — destroying the truck! Those Peterbilt 281’s were real solid trucks, and with a Cummins NTC 350 horsepower small cam engine under hood — well, lemme tell you, they don’t make ’em like that anymore. Steel frames, too. Still, the cliff drop was too much. Damn shame. What’s that? Oh, yeah, there was some organic matter smeared all over the inside of the cab, guess it was all that was left of the driver or whatever. But back to the truck. That model actually has three different axles, all made by Rockwell Parts…”

Mary Worth, 6/23/17

“This cruise ship is afraid of me … I have seen its true face. The lido decks are extended gutters and the gutters are full of cigarette butts and when the drains finally fill up like an ashtray, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and violations of cruise company employment regulations will foam up about their waists and all the whores and onboard entertainers will look up and shout ‘Save us!’… and I’ll look down and whisper ‘No.’”

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Hi and Lois, 6/16/17

Oh, man, it’s been hard enough for bored housewives like Lois to make flirty eyes at poor Brendan via the drive-through bank teller camera — now they’re supposed to do it through the computer somehow?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/16/17

For a supposedly “woke” arts high school, this depiction of the impoverished rural working class is extremely problematic.

Mark Trail, 6/16/17

CONFIRMED: FBI GUY’S TOP-OF-HEAD HAIR-BLOB IS COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED FROM ALL SIDE- AND BACK-OF-HEAD HAIR, REPRESENTING THE MOST BONKERS HAIRSTYLE IN MARK TRAIL TO DATE