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Help me Obi-Rex! You’re my only hope!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/20/06

Right, because when you can’t trust small-town cops, you have to turn to small-town quacks. If there’s trouble afoot involving gunplay and kidnapping and blackmail, I know who I’d want on my side: Rex Morgan, doctor of dubious skills, possessor of no particular capabilities in fisticuffs or weapon-wielding, mediocre golfer. Unlike Troy, Rex can’t even excuse his incompetence by claiming that he never “went to medical school” or “got a license to practice medicine.” His main interests include macaroni and cheese, ice cream, and avoiding his wife. And yet he’s totally going to come up with some magical solution to get you out of this jam, Troy. This is why you shouldn’t let your romantic feelings cloud your judgement in a tough situation.

Ziggy, 7/20/06

You know what would be funny? If instead of a pile of coffee mugs, the Out box had a toilet in it!

Wait, did I say “funny”? I meant “disgusting and gross.”

Well, and a little bit funny. Hee.

171 responses to “Help me Obi-Rex! You’re my only hope!”

  1. barmy
    July 21st, 2006 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    God help me, I actually think that Ziggy is almost sorta funny.

  2. ben
    July 21st, 2006 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    Hell, yeah — Ziggy is sticking it to The Man!

    “A spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of Ziggyism.”

  3. Mic
    July 21st, 2006 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    If you ask me, Ziggy’s setting himself up for a terrifying yet enlightening and potentially life-saving visit from Mr Coffee Nerves.

  4. Mibbitmaker
    July 21st, 2006 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    Methinks Ziggy’s going to have a head bobble to end all A3G head bobbles after all that.


    FW: That first panel isn’t part of the storyline, it’s the side of a van from the 1970s with Lynyrd Skynyrd playing inside.

    Peanuts 1993: A perfectly good gag ruined by Snoopy’s late-era unfunny cookie addiction. Rerun and his “underground comics” couldn’t come soon enough that decade.

    FC: Tommy Smothers is ashamed of you, Jeffy!

    FOOB: Oh, please let the tape get eaten up by the inside of her forehead!

    (DT)GT: More finger-to-face motion. Either he’s saying, “NO-O-O-O! DON’T EAT YOUR OWN FINGER!!”, or he’s trying to implode like Stimpy.

    A3G: LUCY please stop? Tell Dwight Schrute over there to stop… bobbling, that is. He’s not a professional like Margo.

    Dilbert: Portrait of a Soul Being Crushed.

  5. Jim Anderson
    July 21st, 2006 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    50% white space… half a joke… this Ziggy is only 25% funny at best.

  6. Scumbaggioni
    July 21st, 2006 at 3:24 am [Reply]

    When he hits his 100th cup, will Ziggy transcend time itself?

    Oh no…Ted Forth thinks he’s regrown his testicles. He’s threatening kids now. Hilarity!

    And over in Gasoline Alley, the bear…the bear is…ewwwww.

  7. Scumbaggioni
    July 21st, 2006 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    I really ought to go through my list before posting.

    Get Fuzzy: Wow, does this reach alllll the way back to that time a fed-up Satchel backed Bucky up against the wall and totally made him piss himself? Dr. Munch continues to tickle me (in an inappropriate place).

    FOOB: Uh…what? Wait, wait. You know, if you think about it, that looks like…oh s***, that’s Mike. WELCOME TO A FRIGHTENING NIGHTMARE DIMENSION…”FOOB TABOO 2.”

    Luann: Oh, ha! I thought Gunther would uncover and expose the girls’ “punking” of Tiff-Tiff…but instead it looks like the girls will actually make her a star. THIS STRIP WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY IMDB. Come enjoy our nigh-unmoderated forums swarming with neurotic trolltards.

  8. Scumbaggioni
    July 21st, 2006 at 3:48 am [Reply]


    Judge Parker: Oh no. Run, Raju! Run!

  9. Hank Kimble
    July 21st, 2006 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    Someone forgot to change Mark Trail. Or maybe the storyline is moving slower than MW.

  10. Meander
    July 21st, 2006 at 5:24 am [Reply]

    Baldo: That is the sort of putdown that lasts a lifetime.

    Ballard Street: Arrrr, pirates!

    Doonesbury: TMI, daddy edition.

    FW: I wasn’t expecting this to end in violence.

  11. Adam
    July 21st, 2006 at 6:17 am [Reply]

    For those not paying attention, that’s a “best of” Ziggy, hence the humor!

  12. Dan B
    July 21st, 2006 at 7:20 am [Reply]

    MW: for a guy who’s only been at Charterstone for all of, oh, 10 minutes, Stalkeraldo sure has good pub. It’s already common knowledge that the dude killed his dead wife? You know he totally just slipped that in conversation, so MW would think he’s a badass.

    GT: NO-O-O-O! I’ve never seen someone so distraught over losing $20. Does GT take place in 1950, or does Lanny have meth issues and can’t afford to lose any more cash? He should take his clubs over to Pluggers and withdraw from the ATM.

    TDIET: mmm…boiled squid.

    RM, MD: Adam Long? Dr. Troy was in gay porn?

  13. Chris
    July 21st, 2006 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    They got them some mighty smart bears in Gasoline Alley. RIght charitable ones, too.

  14. MaryAnnTheRest
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    A3G: After a line like “she’ll tell you the whole sordid story,” I expect Margo to burst in ala Lenny and Squiggy. Oh, where are you Margo?

    #12: I was a little amazed at Capt. Stalkeroo’s instant rep too, but I’m so blown away by the potential awesomeness of this story that I’m willing to suspend belief. A killer stalking Mary Worth!!! It’s like a dream come true!

  15. Dan B
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    #14: first, Capt. Pederast is gonna destroy that floating Dr. Jeff Cory bubble that always appears when Mary looks at the sky. Then, the luscious and self-righteous Mary Worth will be his and his alone.

    it’s really a pity that this storyline is going to take two years to play out. i’m gonna HAVE to lose interest at some point.

  16. Frank Drackman
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Once in my pathetic life I was making a bulk purchase of cat food and cat litter in the express lane and the hot cashier made a remark that I had all the bodily functions covered. Its impossible to look cool buying cat litter and food in the same transaction.

  17. ez_E
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    anyone see Pluggers today? How about the guy just does a “You know you’re a Plugger if you like to eat alot” cartoon and runs it for the rest of the summer and call it good? pretty much the same every day.

  18. Krazy Kat
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    MW: Am I the only one casting ahead, wondering if we are going to see Aldo Stalker, his bedroom covered with mattresses he’s bolted to the wall, a drugged and bound Mary tied to a chair…

    /A guy can dream, right?

  19. JudeMorrigan
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Baldo: Owwwwwww!

    MW: Dang, this is like Christmas in July!

    RMMD: Adam Long? The guy’s name is *Adam* *LONG*? How did I manage to miss the humor in these serials before I found this site?

  20. Dan B
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    #16: that’s a TDIET if I ever heard one. you totally need to get that out to Al Scaduto. OH yeah…!

  21. johnw
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    GT: I guess this explains how Marty Moon has been able to survive all these years on a small-town radio salary (in the real world, he’d be lucky to be pulling down 20K): he’s scamming the yokels on the golf course.

    JP: “Makeover” — is that how you say “threesome” in America? Between the teen terrors and AILF, Raju is in for it.

  22. Hogenmogen
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    How do I know the MW story line will somehow manage to skirt all hints of action or interest despite the enormous potential of a stalker/killer infatuated with Charterstone’s least favorite old gossip? Because every MW story line in history has avoided all scenes of action or interest.

    Look at the highlights of the past year or so. Action: Ritzilla accidentally knocks a glass of water on a waiter. This is depicted as a terrible incident, although she doesn’t bottom out until she accidentally breaks some cheap ceramic swan. What would have been a dramatic scene with action? Rita drunk at the wheel or actually punching Mary that meddling biddy for interfering in her life.

    Drama: The Jane/Josh Hand saga that, amongst its eighteen endings, included one sub-plot where Jane hand sued Wilbur in some unbelievably delusional suit, but got settled by the attorneys. What would have been more dramatic? Wow, at least one scene in court would have been good, or at least one scene where prim, active type-A Jane ex-Hand saw the slovenly, dissheveled, balding man who masquerades as “Wendy”, and likely wears women’s underwear while doing so.

    Sorry, Mary Worth fans. Your hopes of seeing Mary’s window at night beset with Aldo Pederast’s silhouette clutching a meat cleaver are soon to be dashed, as they always are in this dismal strip which wallows daily in a stinking pool of its own pathos.

  23. Treadwell
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Wow, Mary Worth’s spinster companion actually looks like another person, instead of Mary Worth in a wig, like almost every other character (even this one until today).

    3 points for diagraming that sentence.

  24. anonymous
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex’s grim expression the last couple of days reminds me of an episode of Pee Wee’s playhouse where they were futzing around doing something kid-like and suddenly Pee Wee went all serious and said seriously to Chairy, “you know, that’s not funny, Chairy, someone could get HURT”. Grim. And serious.

  25. dji
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    #16. In situations like that, always ask yourself one question: WWAD. He’d say, “Not all of them, my dear. But you can help me with another of the important bodily functions.”

    MT: I just learned a new euphemism, useful in many situations: “Teach me about bears.” That gal’s about to finally fulfill her ranger fetish.

  26. Hogenmogen
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    See, Mallard, when you do non-politcal stuff poking fun of things that everyone hates, you get a lot less hate mail and you’re even a wee bit funny. On Monday, though, I expect you to go back to bashing straw-men, the UN, 9/11 widows, and the 95% of the country that thinks Rush Limbaugh is full of sh!t. You’ll go back to peddling your overtly divisive wares like a recidivist drug dealer just released from prison. And I’ll go back to fantasizing about you being slaughtered, dismembered, and becoming the middle layer of John Madden’s next turducken.

    PS: For the CC faithful, the above reference contains the phrase “instructions for which can be found on the Internet.”

  27. Benicillin
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    You know, it says “35 years of Ziggy Classics” in fine print at the bottom of the panel…maybe that’s the joke.

    I can barely hold a job for 35 weeks and this crap-factory Tom Wilson has been successfully producing and marketing mediocrity almost since I was sperm.

    So at least I can still have hope.

  28. MaryAnnTheRest
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Hogenmogen, don’t be a spoil sport! If I want to believe MW is being stalked by a psycho for a while, let me live in my fantasy world. Next week Toby will tell us that rumor has it that Stalkeroo … cooked his wife meals HIGH IN SATURATED FAT!! Until then, I hold out hope that rumor has it that Stalker guy’s late wife was stuffed and mounted in his pink and teal Charterstone living room.

  29. Hogenmogen
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Geez, Ziggy, even Wally on Dilbert re-uses his coffee cup.

    On “the best of” Ziggy: They’ve been throwing around strips from 1972 that still weren’t funny. If you go back that far and are coming up empty, go back to the drawing board. Oh, on second thought, don’t.

    This coffee one I must admit is probably the best of the “best of”, which could make it the best Ziggy ever, which akin to saying “the most attractive dung beetle ever” or “the most action-packed Mary Worth story line ever”.

  30. Bootsybooks
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Illegal use of quotes! What say you, Referee Margo?

    RMMD: Adam Long just morphed into Hitler.

    #16, um Frank, it’s impossible to look cool (or manly) buying ANYTHING connected to cats. Sorry Josh, I know you and the missus have a cat (see post re Josh squealing like a girl at a roach in the cat’s food bowl).

    But cats suck.

  31. Anonymous
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    #9 No, that’s not a repeat. If you look closely, you can see Ranger Rick has advanced about 6 inches closer to strangling Kelly for recklessly spoiling his chance to tranquilize the bear. If you know what I mean.

    P.S. Oh, Yeah!

  32. Frank Drackman
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    I see Aldos room papered with random photos of Mary he’s taken over the last few weeks. I’d really like to see a “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” version where Mary,Toby,Ian,and “Wendy” investigate an old broken down house and get slaughtered. That or a Pulp Fiction scene with Mary and her BF bound and gagged awaiting Mr. Aldos evil plans.

  33. Dewey
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    In that last frame, it looks like Rex Morgan already beat Troy and Lilly to dying.

  34. *meow*
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Cats are awesome.

  35. Adfella
    July 21st, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]


    Has anyone noticed how different Kelly’s eyebrows appear from one day to the next—hell, for that matter, from one PANEL to the next?

    Her usual eyebrow coiffure entails the customarily thick and blocky, horizontally-oriented, Brooke Shields-style barely-plucked look, as sported by virtually every one of the same-faced women in the Mark Trail universe.

    Then—suddenly—she’ll display a thinner $40 salon-wax-job style, with a graceful arch ending in an elegant tapering point.

    Howshedoit, as they might say in “They’ll Do It Every Time?”

  36. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    July 21st, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    That Ziggy cartoon is going to produce a major spike in profits for Acme Pushpins Inc. as it gets tacked to billions of cubicle walls and breakroom bulletin boards across America.

  37. Justafoob
    July 21st, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Well, yesterday we saw that shashimi was electronic as she/he/it *beep* *booped* *bleeped* across the keyboard.

    Today we see that Liz is actually a robot.

    No wonder the Patersons are so saintly, they are programmed to be that way.

  38. Pantsman
    July 21st, 2006 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    The third panel of RMMD looks like it was poorly cropped from “Rex Morgan: The Widescreen Edition!” Are those Troy’s genitals speaking to Rex?

  39. gnome de blog
    July 21st, 2006 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    #30, 34:
    I think cats are great. As long as they live in the barn and catch their own dinner.

  40. ez_E
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    based on the new turn and the odd name, I now imagine Aldo’s voice to be like one of the nihilists in the Big Lebowski: “You vill not forget me, Mary! I kill you, I kill you!”
    Oh, and did anyone notice that he looks like Captain Kangaroo? sorry…

  41. Dan B
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Aldo’s totally gonna show up with a box containing one human toe. It will be his gift to Mary.

  42. Hogenmogen
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    MT: I have the lowdown on the duplicate strip. Many papers refused to run today’s strip, so they just reran yesterdays thinking that no one that matters reads that crap anyway. The action involved Ranger Rick and Kelly Welly getting it on while the grizzly removes the arrow from its ass and inserts it into Mark Trail’s. Boog looks on, amused.

  43. Confused
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    #41 — as long as it has a toe ring, I think that’s acceptable.

  44. tefflan
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    I’ll be damned! You know what I just noticed? Aldo Kelrast looks like Captain Marvel!

  45. Hogenmogen
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    I’m also hoping that Sunday’s Rex features Skanky McNasty and Chesty McCheesy getting into a cat fight. There is an eerie calm as the two stare into each other’s eyes. Then, they kiss.

    Sorry, I was the one who dashed the MW fans hopes that she’d spend the rest of the summer running from Psychaldo like the homely chick in a slasher movie.

  46. MossMoses
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    “Teach me about bears.” could be code for Ranger Rick’s anal adventure with that little brown cub poking his head out of Kelly’s rectal cave.

  47. Hogenmogen
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    But catfight turning into a lesbothon could happen!

  48. dji
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    #46. Yikes.

    I was thinking more along the lines of, “Well, let’s see… they’re soft and furry and they smell like salmon.”

  49. Not that Mary
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    I decided to start reading FW archives to see what everyone’s talking about, and not only am I more confused, but I’ve broken out in hives

  50. Meander
    July 21st, 2006 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    I know who I’d want on my side: Rex Morgan, doctor of dubious skills, possessor of no particular capabilities in fisticuffs or weapon-wielding, mediocre golfer.

    And yet, his hair — it’s sooooo shiny! And slick!

  51. D.A. Pennington
    July 21st, 2006 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Today’s FOOB: I want to see the begining of Liz’s “memory” tape where Liz becomes the “meat” in the Granthony/Paul sandwich.

    If you know what I mean.

  52. Abbey the Wonderdog
    July 21st, 2006 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    C’mon Rex. If you come along she wont shoot.

    Why? She only has 2 bullets and they have Dr. Adam “Troy” Long and Chesty’s names on them? I think the Skanster is nutsy enough to shoot everybody. Maybe that would be a good thing then Widdle Sawah could be adopted by real parents and get some health care.

    And some real food.


  53. rich
    July 21st, 2006 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    GT: Panel 2 is a keeper. I love his “Oops, Mommy, I made a booboo in my pants!” expression… Jeffy Keane would be proud.

    Fooob: Yawn…I’m still waiting to see why Elizabeth dragged her sorry ass back to Pattersonville. By all accounts, she’s lonely and miserable and now is deluding herself into thinking that the pimple on her forehead is a restart button. Meanwhile, Ellie says that they’ve hardly spoken since she’s been back — so much for all that bull about missing her family! (Of course, she has yet to mention the A-word…that alluring, cuckolded crumbstachio who she just can’t quit…but would it be asking too much for this strip to make just a little sense?)

  54. Anonymous
    July 21st, 2006 at 12:56 pm [Reply]



    RM: First tell me your real name.

    Troy: Long, Woody Long.

    RM: I know Tory, but what is your name?

  55. Islamorada Girl
    July 21st, 2006 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    MaryAnnTheRest says: “A killer stalking Mary Worth!!! It’s like a dream come true!”

    My pick for COTW.

    If only, Mary Ann, if only. . .

  56. MossMoses
    July 21st, 2006 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Why is Toby be better informed on gossip than the resident nosy meddler? Mary Worth knew right away where the stalker lives yet she had somehow missed the juicy gossip about his sordid past. That seems very odd.

  57. JudeMorrigan
    July 21st, 2006 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    The last three days of FBOFW have annoyed me. Ok, back on 7/18, momma Patterson tells a story about how she imagines Liz is doing. So of course we spend the next several days finding out that Elly was EXACTLY right. Wow! She’s psychic!

    Ok, so we’re not talking about spectaculaly large leaps of logic. For some reason, it still annoys me.

  58. Dan B
    July 21st, 2006 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    #57: Every time I read FOOB it annoys me. It perpetuates the stereotype that Canadians are as horrible as the Pattersons.

  59. Anonymous
    July 21st, 2006 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Elizabeth is an essentially sexless, selfcentered bitch. She wants everyone to love her and if accomplishing this can only be done by upping stakes and getting out of town she will unhesitatingly do so. She has no intentions of consummating any relationship but instead seeks to create a zombie-like tribe of ball-less girlymen to trail in her wake for all eternity.
    April, on the other hand, has proven herself to be a tart. This precocious Lolita-like nymphet favors revealing outfits and has already professed her carnal interest in an adult dentist as well as trolling the internet for porn sites. Therefore, the only story arc that can wind up this drivelling mess of the last few months with any degree of integrity would be one in which Elizabeth returns to her cramped, fusty little pad unexpectedly early to find her sluttish little sister engaged in a sweaty, eye-poppingly obscene threesome with Paul and Warren the pilot. Anthony, as befits his passive nature, will be esconced in a corner of the sofa, furtively beating off. Please understand that this scenario may be unsettling and, well, just plain wrong, but thanks to the artless procrastination of the evil Lynn Johnston, it feels sooo right.

  60. mere cog in the machine
    July 21st, 2006 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Sorry – forgot to identify myself on that last, admittedly obscene post. I’ve got nothing to hide from anyone but the police, the courts, and decent citizens of all communities!

  61. Hogenmogen
    July 21st, 2006 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Foob: Didn’t Liz trot her sorry biscut butt down to the car lot with the prematurely aged Carl-Rove-lookalike? The car lot perched in odd proximity to a Gooey-bun franchise with former-flame-o-Liz-now-empty-shell-of-a-man as the underachiever manager? What happened there? I was waiting for the exceedingly stale-as-week-old-donut return of Blandthony and instead we get “ticky-tap-ticky” and an annoying cat. The only thrill at all was, as Scumbaggioni pointed out in #7, that in her dreams her lover looks disturbingly like her brother.

  62. 2fs
    July 21st, 2006 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    #16, 25: “Not all of them, my dear. But you can help me with another of the important bodily functions.” I think you want to clarify whose bodily functions you’re talking about. Otherwise: eeeewwww?

  63. edgeways
    July 21st, 2006 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    of course the fact that Anthony already has a child means that if E and A get married there will be no need to have sex, as the marrage comes pre-loaded with child, and heck they can adopt that troubled kid from up north, so it’s perfect, 1 girl, 1 boy, no sex and E keeps her virginity intact, thus elegible for saint status.

    Incidently, anyone see Mike’s book being a set up for the end of the strip? We’ll hear more and more about it, and the plot line will seem very familuar as time goes on, then at the end it’ll turn out the entire FBOFW run was just the book Mike has wrote. Remember you heard it here first. Alternativly, Mike’s writing will inspire Elle to write her own book, which ends as above. I just think it is too cheesy of a final plot device for them to pass up.

  64. Krazy Kat
    July 21st, 2006 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    “IT’S A ZIGGY!!”

  65. mere cog in the machine
    July 21st, 2006 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    #63: Wasn’t that same scenario used to wrap up the television series ‘St. Elsewhere’? Something about some autistic kid imagining the whole thing, etc., etc. It seems to me to be extremely lame and thereore completely plausible.

  66. michael
    July 21st, 2006 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Ever since “A plugger’s laptop” was a child bouncing on some jackass’s knee I’ve been looking forward to a rhino or something giving a bearhug to a towheaded little child and a caption that reads: “a plugger’s reach-around.”

  67. MossMoses
    July 21st, 2006 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Hogenmogen: You’re on a roll today – several insightful cotw worthy comments and the nickname “Blandthony”.

  68. luluchappel
    July 21st, 2006 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    #65; #63: The Bob Newhart show that was set in an inn in Vermont ended that way: Bob got hit in the head with a golf ball, and woke up in his Chicago bed with Suzanne Pleshette.

  69. Gershwin
    July 21st, 2006 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Re 63, 65:

    Wait! Wasn’t that “Dallas”?

  70. marykat
    July 21st, 2006 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    check out the last couple weeks’ worth of Medium Large to see a pretty good rundown of “this never really happened” endings to shows/comics.

  71. Anne
    July 21st, 2006 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker – Someone here recently posted a link to an interview with the writer, who revealed that Raju will somehow end up in Paris with Neddy… So I guess, after the makeover, Neddy will discover that she’s incredibly attracted to Raju after all and will forget all about her boyfriend who she was so upset about being separated from?

    Oh, and is Family Circus running repeats? I’m pretty sure they’ve done that one before, at least once or twice…

  72. BigJoe
    July 21st, 2006 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    GA: Okay, I was wrong. I thought it couldn’t be any stupider than when the bear was doing the backstroke while balancing a toddler on its stomach. Today the bear performs CPR on Slim using Boog to slam on his stomach to force the water out. Now THAT just has to be the stupidest scenario ever. Right? Please? I’m afraid to look tomorrow.

  73. Hank Kimble
    July 21st, 2006 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    #59–Wow! Did you take psychology? You made more since than my Psych prof.

  74. Hank Kimble
    July 21st, 2006 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Make that “sense”. Either that or you have some pretty sick fantasies

  75. Braniff
    July 21st, 2006 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Anne–The Family Circus consists of repeats. They haven’t come up with any original ideas in decades. It’d be interesting for that cartoon to deal with such topics as drug addiction, divorce or bullying.

    Unfortunately, The Family Circus is set in its ways and will never change. Even Cathy has ventured into unknowned territory–its main character got married last year.

  76. monkeyhawk
    July 21st, 2006 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    I had lunch the other day with a couple of friend of my Mom. We have nothing else in common and somehow the conversation turned to the comics page.

    The husband of my Mom’s friend mentioned that he didn’t care for the the cartoon, particularly, but that he related to the concept of the “family circus.”

    I thought it was an interesting disclaimer. This guy was about as middle-middle-American as you can get. His kids are college-age, so perhaps he first related to FC when his kids were 4 or 6 or whatever age Billy and the gang are supposed to represent. He doesn’t like the feature; only the concept.

    It gets back to the question that fascinates me. What is it about these daily features that gets us hooked, interested, upset…? It’s four or five seconds a day (so long as you’re not a participant of Comics Curmudgeon), but each one of ‘em gets under our skin! Why?

    I mentioned the recent discussion of Slim’s “Gasoline Alley” adventure to my 80-mumble-year-old Mom. (Our local paper dropped the strip years ago.) Her response was, “Is Walt dead yet? He should be.”

    I didn’t have an answer. Is Walt dead yet?

  77. The Monkey's Paw
    July 21st, 2006 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of comics getting under your skin. Is anyone else hoping that something terrible happens to the ex-girlfriend in Baldo? I seriously hate that girl.

  78. dji
    July 21st, 2006 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    #77. Me. I am. I hope Snarky gets her comeuppance.

  79. MJ1066
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    #76: Walt hasn’t died yet, but his wife died a few years ago. Walt has Alzheimer’s or some other memory-loss disease. I don’t know why that’s supposed to be funny.

  80. MJ1066
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    Is there anyone who actually thinks that Alzheimer’s disease is funny? I don’t think it is.

  81. Bigfoot
    July 21st, 2006 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    Eew! Eew! Can we all agree that the concept of
    buying Pluggers apparel is more disturbing than roaches in your catfood dish?

    Somehow the Gil Thorp apparel linked from the same site is less disturbing (until you realize that they offer GT boxers).

  82. AwfulArt
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    Tidbit from DailyINK…

    Kabibble Kabaret – By Hershfield
    Dear Mr. Kabibble,
    Is Love Necessary In Marriage?
    It May Not Be A Necessity,But It Certainly Is A Luxury In Most Homes..

  83. Bitter Scribe
    July 21st, 2006 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Is RMMD’s decidedly cadaverous appearance in the third panel supposed to play off the word “dead”? Just wondering.

  84. Anonymous
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    #80/MJ1066 – I used to think Alzheimer’s was funny but now I can’t remember why.

    Listen up, this blog ‘discusses’ the funny pages from a decidely sardonic point of view. The posters here make fun of everything. Just look at the remarks concerning FBOW in this thread if you don’t believe me. Folks have brought up incest, sexual relations with underaged persons, and other perversions too numerous to name. Scan the archives and you’ll find more of the same concerning every comic strip discussed here.

    Why? Because if you don’t laugh all you’ve got left are tears.

    If you want to peddle some umbrage over our supposed disregard of a horrific terminal illness, take it to a Mallard Filmore forum. Tinsley has the patent on umbrage so he might actually listen to you. As for us, we’re too busy trying to make each other laugh so we don’t have to cry.

    By the way, has anyone heard the one about the guy who finds out his wife has either Alzheimer’s or AIDs?

  85. 2fs
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    Man, it only rains when I forget my umbrage.

  86. MJ1066
    July 21st, 2006 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    I wasn’t trying to start any fights. I was only asking for opinions. Please don’t tear my head off just for that.

  87. MJ1066
    July 22nd, 2006 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    #78: According to today’s (July 22) Baldo, “Her name’s not “Smiley” anymore.” I feel sorry for Baldo.

  88. MJ1066
    July 22nd, 2006 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    #85: LOL! What an atrocious pun!

  89. MJ1066
    July 22nd, 2006 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    #71: There was a Family Circus cartoon years ago that showed one of the kids (I forget which one it was) holding a yo-yo whose two halves had come apart. The kid said, “It broke. Now all I have is a yo.”

  90. TurtleBoy
    July 22nd, 2006 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    MW: I’m holding out for a “Silence of the Lambs” denouement. Aldo’s out to make a “Mary suit,” but it’ll take a few weeks of slimming her down at the bottom of a pit he’s dug out of the bare dirt of the Charterstone tool shed before she’s ripe.

  91. skulking on the outskirts
    July 22nd, 2006 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    Josh-love cc. But I’ve only been reading it a few
    weeks, and I’ve got a question or six. What is
    COTW? What is MILF? What is IMHO? Yeah, I
    know, I’m a total ignoramus about what is probably
    very basic stuff-ok, laugh at me, but then would you please enlighten me? I’m not going to stop being clueless until somebody clues me in, after
    all. Thanks.

  92. MJ1066
    July 22nd, 2006 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    #91: COTW is “Comment of the Week.” The Comment of the Week is shown in the left margin of the main page of this site.

    IMHO is “In my humble opinion.”

  93. Anne
    July 22nd, 2006 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    #89: That must be what I was thinking of… I totally remember that exact one! But I am slightly disturbed that I remember it.

  94. skulking on the outskirts
    July 22nd, 2006 at 5:03 am [Reply]

    # 92- Thank you, MJ1066. Do you also happen to
    know what MILF is?

  95. Scumbaggioni
    July 22nd, 2006 at 5:34 am [Reply]

    #94: MILF = Monkeys In Lime Fedoras


  96. Scumbaggioni
    July 22nd, 2006 at 5:48 am [Reply]

    And before anyone asks:

    IIRC = Immature Idiot Ranting Crud
    ROFL = Rent Overdue, Forsaking Lunch
    PNAC = Perverse Nutjobs Attacking Civilization
    IMHO = In Mary’s Holy Orifice
    GMK = Great Monster Krunch!

  97. Frank Drackman
    July 22nd, 2006 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    MILF= “Mom I’d like to F***”, its been in usage since at least 1972 when I first heard it used in reference to one of my friends moms.

  98. Len
    July 22nd, 2006 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Little Jeffie (or is it Billie?) begins his career as poster-boy for the Viagra account.

    When your yo-yo won’t yo, try the little blue pill!

    If those ARE leg-warmers little Jeffie is wearing, I guess if he ever grows up (fat chance!) we can expect to see him in the ballet company that Seth of 9 Chickweed Lane will have started by then.

  99. TheMagicMel
    July 22nd, 2006 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    #51: I rather think Granthony would be the meat in that sandwich, if you savvy.

    #59: You forgot Lizardbreath opening the door on this in the last panel, blinking away to save her life. Oh, the animatable possibilities in this scenario are endless…..

  100. Mibbitmaker
    July 22nd, 2006 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    #84: If Michael O’Donoghue wrote M*A*S*H.


    Doonesbury: Suddenly, the two females become Eva and April and are talking about cowboys again. Uh, ladies, I like strong women; it’s misandrist young biddies I can’t stand.

    GF: The Education of Dr. Munch.

    MG&G: Yeah, but is there any such thing as “too close” for one dog’s snout and another’s posterior…? OH, YEAH!

    (DT)GT: The “Manly Manual”?? That phrase earns him a night with Eva, April, and the Doonesbury womyn. He deserves it.

    A3G: A year ago? Wha’ now?[/TDIET] I think I now have bobble lines behind my cranium, too!

    SF: They can see everything from there, including themselves stuck up there. Seriously, Ces, talk to your artist there…

    Mutts: Um… Mit? Pluck? Lass? Switch? Ballard Gillmore?

    FW: “Oh! No! Cooties! Aaaaugh! Go away! Yikes! Oh, yeah! Helllp!! Girl Germs! Girl Germs!” (runs off)

    FOOB: Liz, you’re under arrest for onomatopoeia abuse. Still, her words in the final panel describes FBOFW in recent years to a T.

    FC: Jeffy threw away his siblings 3 days ago, Pa Familycircus.

    (Jeez, these things are writing themselves today!)

  101. Jeanne
    July 22nd, 2006 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    This is the description of a made for TV movie called “The War Bride” (made in 2001) on Oxygen this morning
    “During World War II, a Cockney woman marries a Canadian soldier and adjusts to life on a farm in Alberta.” It’s a story about a British woman, named Lily, not Sheliegh, who marries a Canadian soldier in WWII, only to find out he lied about his ranch in Alberta, and her struggles to adjust.
    Gee, do you think Mike from Fooberville has been watching cable, or was his book already made into a TV movie of the week?
    Lynn just plagerized the plot of something she probably watched 5 years ago.

  102. tefflan
    July 22nd, 2006 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    #90 Turtle: Thanks.

    “It puts the lotion in the basket.”
    “Help! Help me! Call my mom!”
    “It puts the %#$#$%^% lotion in the $@@$% basket when it’s asked to!”
    “Mary, you don’t really want to do this! Help! Help!”

    One Aldo suit, coming up…

  103. mere cog in the machine
    July 22nd, 2006 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    #85: My mom always told me to eat lots of umbrage, so’s I could keep regular.

  104. Anonymous
    July 22nd, 2006 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    MT: Ok, this is really getting annoying. . . is making some noise really the best course of action around an angry bear with an arrow in its ass? And does a wildlife photographer really want to scare the bear away?

    And it seems quite a coincidence that the woman serving coffee to them is apparently Kelly’s mother, and they’re wearing the twinkie blouses they bought together last time they were at the mall.

    But most upsetting: I know we missed a day (at least at the online sites I could find), but Ranger Rick goes from “You almost got us killed” to “Nice having dinner with you” in a couple of hours? He must be entranced by that “Jack Elrod” beauty mark on her face.

  105. treedweller
    July 22nd, 2006 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    oops, that was me in #104.

  106. rich
    July 22nd, 2006 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    61: In her fantasy, was Liz making out with Paul, who looks like her brother, or was it…Grandpa as a young man??

    76: So what is the “concept” of the Family Circus that makes it so special? “When cuteness meets inexplicable stupidity?” “Oval heads in circular panels”?

    81: Does the official Pluggers apparel come pre-stained? I’m expecting to see big globs of grease, drool and motor oil. (No such problems with my Gil Thorp authorized jockstrap, I’m happy to say — though like everything else in the strip, it can’t operate in a 3-dimensional world.)

  107. rich
    July 22nd, 2006 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    RIR — Dear Pat Brady, this thing about “guys eating over the sink” relates to the ease of cleanup, not a love of plumbing fixtures. Eating in the cabinet under the sink will attract ants. It’s more work to clean up than if they had simply dirtied a plate. Sheesh!

    JP — I’m fairly certain that no one outside of my dad’s generation still refers to nerds as “dips”.

  108. mere cog in the machine
    July 22nd, 2006 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    106: I’m fairly certain that “oval heads in circular panels” was either a song by Joanie Mitchell or a poem by T.S. Elliot; I can’t remember which.

  109. dji
    July 22nd, 2006 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, there’s no more information on “oval heads in circular panels” on the Internet.

    I expect this to change within a day.

  110. Gracie287
    July 22nd, 2006 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    MT: GAAH! Giant Kelly Welly eyes! Hypnotizing me! Seriously though, does anyone know what happened to yesterday’s Mark Trail comic? I can’t imagine what Elrod could come up with that would get his strip pulled. Actually… that might be interesting…

  111. GotFuzzy
    July 22nd, 2006 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    (DT)GT 7/22–What? Rap-Dog and Lips’n’Fingers were dating? When did that happen? The last thing I remember they never got past the sitting on the front porch talking phase. I guess in the stuck-in-the-50s world of (DT)GT, that constitutes dating.

  112. dji
    July 22nd, 2006 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    I get the Sunday comics on Saturday.

    Tomorrow’s Mary Worth is sooooo gonna make folks happy.

  113. catastrophile
    July 22nd, 2006 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    #101 — Maybe Mike plagiarized the MotW, and that’s why he’s looking for “help” rewriting it — hoping to modify the story enough to avoid detection?

  114. rich
    July 22nd, 2006 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    108: Sure, I remember that one –

    “Oval heads in circular panels,
    Little Jeffy’s rolled-up flannels,
    And Billy’s mapped-out clueless rambles,
    I’ve looked at Keanes that way…”

  115. MossMoses
    July 22nd, 2006 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    It didn’t take Kelly Welly too long to pop the m question on Ranger Rick. What a slut! I thought she was Mark Trail’s editor Bill Ellis’ bimbo. Maybe Mark’s editor Bill Ellis has penile dysfunction or something…

  116. Frank Drackman
    July 22nd, 2006 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    I can’t wait for the cartoon where Ziggys eating Pizza…they could have a bunch of Lincoln Logs in the “Out” box.

  117. AwfulArt
    July 22nd, 2006 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    “Out Of The Gene Pool” takes a couple of swipes at “Garfield” the strip & the movie today..

  118. Dingo
    July 22nd, 2006 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    #95 Scumbaggioni: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I laughed so hard when I read Monkeys in Lime Fedoras I scared the neighbor.

    Also, in the last week, I’ve found two separate occasions to use the phrase duck butter. You never know what this site will give you: a good laugh or a great phrase describing smegma.

    In the voice of Lola Heatherton: Josh, I love you and I want to BEAR YOUR CHILDREN!

  119. robotmansghost
    July 22nd, 2006 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    103: Just so we’re clear, are we talking about raw or burnt umbrage here?

  120. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    July 22nd, 2006 at 7:13 pm [Reply]


    I gotta say, the new advertisers on this blog leave much to be desired. Some t-shirt company without mean or offensive humor? Come on now. And an anti-baldness shampoo? Oh, how far we’ve fallen since Gitsum Girl, and that bikini-clad skank whose name I can’t recall. Is our demographic profile really that lame? I suppose it might be.

  121. lilybdcsa
    July 22nd, 2006 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who remembers referring to that morning crusty stuff in the corner of one’s eye as “duck butter”?

  122. Frank Drackman
    July 22nd, 2006 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    We always called them “eye boogers” in my house.

  123. Library Cat
    July 22nd, 2006 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    #122 Same here, in fact we still do.

    #106 You’re right rich that is young Gwampa. What a bitter homecoming this has been for our Lizardbreath. Her apartment’s small, the cat’s pissed (probably literally), her butt’s gotten bigger and now this.

    #120 Chet, I pleaded for Gitsum Girl’s return many, many posts ago. I knew it would lead to your despair but alas Josh said she was a deadbeat and would not return until she paid up. Oh well, it is not to be.

  124. Library Cat
    July 22nd, 2006 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Oh yeah, and does anyone else think Kelly Welly looks like Patsy Cline?

  125. BigJoe
    July 22nd, 2006 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    SF – What gives? Surprised nobody pointed this out. Hillary says “you really can see everything from the top of the ferris wheel”, but they’re on a roller coaster. Is the kid that sheltered that she doesn’t know the difference?

  126. MossMoses
    July 22nd, 2006 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    Chet, you’ve already forgotten Blogshub girl yet you remember the skanky Gitsum Girl? hmm…

  127. mere cog in the machine
    July 22nd, 2006 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    Rich: Lets not forget the refrain:
    I’ve seen Bill Keanes from
    From both sides now
    Online and print and
    Still somehow
    Anachronistic lame tableaux
    Contained in little spheres
    It blows

  128. dji
    July 22nd, 2006 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    Rich & Cog: Thanks a lot. Now that’ll be stuck in my head all week. As sung by the cast of FC.

  129. rich
    July 23rd, 2006 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    127: Touche!

  130. rich
    July 23rd, 2006 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    112: Ooo, can’t wait to see that Sunday Mary Worth! So it’ll make me very happy, you say? Does it show Alpo purchasing a taser gun and large quantities of duct tape?! (Sigh! One can dream…)

  131. Scumbaggioni
    July 23rd, 2006 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    #118: Thank YOU. That means a lot to me. If I can get just one person in trouble with the police, then my efforts have not been in vain. (No, seriously, thanks.)

    Sunday! Bloody Sunday!

    However, it is Saturday’s Dilbert that I can most relate to. I never really liked this character until I realized that our co-workers’ stupidity causes us both to spontaneously combust. (Did I mention I work for an airline?)

    Luann: Holy ****, is this even legal to view in your state? Does Greg Evans sit around watching Brooke Shields ’70s movies all day? (And when was Luann’s mom ever played by Mary Steenburgen?)

    Sally Forth‘s Sunday strip is actually…funny. And successfully satirical. Excuse me, I have to run outside and see if the moon has turned to blood. OH SH–

    “And throughout the land, there will be a greaaaat rubbing of parts.”
    Monty Python’s The Life Of Brian

    On The FastTrack: Holbrook, sweetums…I love your strips (although I prefer Save Havens and Kevin & Kell to this one), but don’t refer to half your strip as “the boring part.”

    Judge Parker: even as Raju’s fate is being decided by two harpies, a new porn fetish is born: hot chicks picking each other’s noses. From the people who brought you A2M and the Jelly Doughnut. (If you don’t already know, trust me, you don’t wanna find out.)

    You know what sucks about Doonesbury? If Trudeau can’t do a caricature of Bush, he can’t depict Bush chewing with his mouth open – wide – spitting food while barking obscenities at foreign dignitaries. Swearing was the least of his disgusting behavior that day (though he made up for it in spades later by surprise-pawing the German chancellor).

  132. Scumbaggioni
    July 23rd, 2006 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    Two more things I just realized about Sunday Pudge Jarker:

    (1) …Ned? NED? How I miss that until now?
    (2) In panel four, Sophie reveals her secret lust for Ned’s bdoink-a-boinkers.

  133. Marc
    July 23rd, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    We find out in FC today that Billy was made somehwere in a cornfield in Kansas.

    In MW we find out that Mary “doesn’t place much credence on neighborhood gossip.” UH HELLO! Storylines are based off your WASPy neighbors’ ignorance. Wake up Mary! P.S.: Here’s another false statement: Everyone in the neighborhood likes you.

  134. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    July 23rd, 2006 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    I remember Blogshub girl well, in every detail except her name.

    In today’s FC, Billy gives a big shout out to sweatshops around the world.

  135. chromium
    July 23rd, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    131: OK, WOW. Today’s Luann is terrifying. I’ve seen this same joke in the comics before, but Evans appears to be putting a sexual spin on it. That last picture is insanely fetishistic (is that a word?).

    I just discovered this site a few days ago, btw. I can’t believe how many years I’ve been missing out on it…

  136. Lisa
    July 23rd, 2006 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Just saw Sunday’s MW and by gosh, I AM leaking little tears of happiness.

  137. treedweller
    July 23rd, 2006 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Sunday’s Hi & Lois reveals that they either have a car made of tinfoil, or a garbage can made of lead, which they store on their driveway.

  138. Braniff
    July 23rd, 2006 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    135: I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of today’s Family Circus. My local newspaper claims to take an editorial stand against sweatshops and other wrongs which are practiced by big business. Yet, elsewhere in today’s Register is that cartoon, and a file photo of Bil Keane with a picture of his wife and his kids (one of whom now helps draw The Family Circus). The newspaper once used to syndicate The Family Circus cartoon decades ago.

  139. lilybdcsa
    July 23rd, 2006 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Why does Billy’s shirt say Made in USA when he was pointing to the opposite side of the globe to show where it was made?

  140. mere cog in the machine
    July 23rd, 2006 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    #141: No doubt Billy is attempting to demonstrate – with precocious adolescent political awareness – that his country of origin is, in fact, an imperialistic warmongering fascist dictatorship with global ambitions of naked power that may never be sated. Or maybe Bill Keanes has organic brain syndrome. Your call.

  141. Hank Kimble
    July 23rd, 2006 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    Is there any on-line sites with today’s FC?

  142. Craig Shergold
    July 23rd, 2006 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    I had no clue this existed. It’s incredibly densely drawn. How could anyone see it in your average newspaper’s shrunken fuzzy print job?

    And, little girl, there’s no body if you use a WOOD CHIPPER!

  143. Dub Not Dubya
    July 23rd, 2006 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

  144. The Monkey's Paw
    July 23rd, 2006 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Holy crap. What’s with Garfield adding background and plot all of a sudden? And is it bad that I at least chuckled at today’s comic?

  145. Hank Kimble
    July 23rd, 2006 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Thanks Dub, didn’t know you could get Chronical comics on Sunday.

  146. AwfulArt
    July 23rd, 2006 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    Imus would say look at the size of that guys Johnson in todays “Curtis”..

  147. AwfulArt
    July 23rd, 2006 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    That giant frog in “Annie” has a mouth Linda Lovelace lusts for..!!
    Would rather Satan put J. Hart in hell rather then the poor crocks from “PBS”..

  148. Mibbitmaker
    July 23rd, 2006 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    #142: I do see (in FC???!!???) satire on not only sweat shops, but protectionism as well. Not to dismiss the latter option in 142, though, because the former sounds like it was written in the Bizarro World “Mallard Fillmore”.

    Annie (formerly “Little Orphan”): Uh-oh, what if Santiago accidentally shoots the Phantom? How could she not maybe knick The Ghost That Exists In Another Comic Strip with those empty white eyeballs of hers? Who could aim?

    Opus: “Thingee?” – Monty Python

    Oh, those cowboys.

  149. treadwell
    July 23rd, 2006 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    MW: “I don’t believe in gossip. Now lay some gossip on me.”

    And now Mary is as devine as her Biblical namesake, if her new Midieval halo is any indication.

    SF: the joke in the opening throwaway panel seems to be that a cartoon could never be the choice of someone with a keen eye for cinema.

    Okay, there have been a lot of horrendous animated films lately, but to dismiss an entire artform as beneath the notice of the truly Cultured is akin to saying a comic strip is not worthy of being considered “art”.

    Chew on THAT, Marciuliano.

  150. Islamorada Girl
    July 23rd, 2006 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    More posts, Mule!

  151. Marc
    July 23rd, 2006 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    Monday’s MW: Oh no! You getting killed in a gruesome murder is the last thing we would want! We love you way too much!

  152. Mibbitmaker
    July 24th, 2006 at 12:54 am [Reply]


    I’ll bet anything Josh’ll put “Curtis” and SF in the same post.

    Foxtrot: Cool, a week of comics parodies. Looks like fun.

    A3G: … before she gets even deeper into her wrong assumptions about her husband and Tommie. Richard Jewell feels his pain.

    FC: Uh… I think Jeffy’s got some big problems, Mr. FC. This kid’s dumber than a bag of George W. Bushes!

    FOOB: And it’s not looking good for Blandthony! She missed the stalker-cop. And Mtigitchygoomy, too. “There’s always something missing”, and it’s Blandthony.

    Peanuts 1993: Snoopy’s writing the future of FBOFW. Or maybe GT.

    And it’s Pat Oliphant’s birthday. And he’s roughly the same age as my parents!

  153. Scumbaggioni
    July 24th, 2006 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    #151: I chose to side with Ted regarding the value of animated films.

    Of more concern to me was when my local fishwrapper published a filler op-ed by some gassy snotbag who thinks superhero movies should be done away with. (Hey, I didn’t like Spider-Man 2 either, but no one forced me to sit through it. Beware that slippery slope, Ms. Heller. There are those who would just as soon do away with that entire Joy Luck Stellahood Of The Fried Groove Traveling Tomato-Pants genre…and those torture-heavy slasher flicks to which you enjoy masturbating.)

    There was another surprisingly-charming Sally Forth many moons ago (2003) wherein Sally became excited at the prospect of watching Destroy All Monsters with Ted, inspiring him to wax romantic. It was almost like they were…human? Almost. Then there’s today’s (Monday) strip, where Ted reveals that he is indeed another Jeffery Dahmer. (Or Scott Peterson. You pick your monster.)

    Gasoline Alley: Yes, Slim. The bear gave you artificial respiration. It also had sex with you while you were unconscious. It was hot.

    THE BEAR IS SITTING ON A LOG while Slim is splayed on the ground. I’m going insane here.

    I got chewed on by a Library Cat for not tipping you all off to PBF sooner, so here: a comic that remains funny and bizarre in spite of its increasingly-slapdash artwork. Start from the beginning! Hoot!

    Aaaaaaah. I love this strip.

  154. jonnya
    July 24th, 2006 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    It’s cell phone Monday. Blondie and TDIET both leap into the Eighties today with cell phone based “jokes”. Did Blondie and Daggy ever own cell phones before today? Dagwood even has a belt holster for his phone. They must have got a family plan over the weekend. I’ll eat my hat if he’s wearing his holster tomorrow, or ever again. I don’t think it’s the type of accessory that would warrant a permanent change to the Blondie universe. Still it’s so BC to suddenly give long established characters new “lifestyles” just to force one mediocre joke down our gullets. But I do recall that the Bumsteads had a computer a few weeks ago in some indecipherable episode where Dagwood said he was finished with something, so maybe I doth protest too much.

    I think maybe the cell phone in TDIET was added in from a decades older panel to make it look current for today’s world. Scaduto has heard that cell phones are very with-it, but he obviously has never used one because he draws the guy talking into his phone as if it were a CB radio transmitter. 10-4 Aunt Peppa.

    One of my favorite comics conventions is the fourth wall breaking eye roll of amazement that the “straight man” character gives us upon receiving the punch line. Notice Curtis’s look in the last panel. He takes this to an extreme because the punch line isn’t funny or whacky or anything, it’s morbidly depressing. What is funny is Curtis’s hat. Much like the tongue wagging in Snuffy Smith his hat size and angle are becoming a source of pure joy for me. Despite how depressing today’s Curtis is, we the readers are overjoyed that it’s not another Flyspeck Island strip.

    Sharon Stone’s cat suit in Spidey looks ridiculous. Spidey is a Marvel Comics property. You know Marvel, the house of ideas that has been more than seminal in creating the looks of modern day Super Heros and such. I expected something better, you know? Looks like MJ also stole Narnia’s exclamation point. As an experienced Hollywood actress, shouldn’t Narnia’s rage be aimed at the casting agency and Hollywood ageism in general and not young MJ? It’s not like MJ cast herself as Marvella. If you waste her there’ll be 10,000 other young starlets auditioning to be recast as Marvella. Even so, if I were hell bent on wasting MJ, would I rant on about it on a film set with mics and cameras pointing right at me?

    Did the caption in today’s Lockhorns get randomly joined with the artwork or something? I can’t bring myself to ask the fine participants of this blog to explain it, but I really don’t get it at all, and it’s not like the usual BC type of I don’t get it where you can sort of see the joke but Hart is so demented that it misfires wide by a mile, I just flat out don’t get it.

    Yes- some of those restaurant panels in last week’s Garfield actually had perspective, dimension, and detail…. To a point. I figure there’s a new upstart rebel inkslave over at Jim Davis inc. who us getting his or her moment in the sun during the dog days of summer. I picture this person dogging Jim’s assistant for weeks before getting the green light to actually submit a panel with more than two humans against a wall in it.

  155. Scumbaggioni
    July 24th, 2006 at 4:32 am [Reply]

    Garfield: Yeah, this is weird, having a developing storyline (well, sort of) and artwork that doesn’t look (completely) pasted together from earlier strips.

    It still sucks, though. Jon, Sunday: “Liz is out with another guy!… But why?”

    First off, Jon, your punctuation eats, even when you’re talking. Second…”WHY?” You actually asked “why?”

    Let me rephrase that: you brought your CAT with you on a dinner date in a fancy restaurant, wearing that jacket and that ****ing BOWTIE, and you actually asked why a woman who has little/no interest in a scabby dork like you is out on a date with someone else?!?

    Oh my God. Man, if you were standing in front of me, I’d kick you so hard in the balls you’d squirt pee out your ears and die.

    Now I’m looking at Saturday’s strip, in which Garfield points Liz out to Jon. A painting appears directly behind the head of Liz’s Mystery Man. It is a painting of fruit.

    …If that turns out to mean something, Jim Davis had better not ever be standing in front of me.

  156. luluchappel
    July 24th, 2006 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    #79 & 80–We didn’t think alcoholism and breast cancer were funny until FW took them on; now they’re both frickin’ hilarious. Several months ago Crankshaft was alluding to some possible child abuse/neglect/mistreatment, so I guess it’s now OK to laugh at that too. Maybe Alzheimer’s won’t be funny until Batiuk gets his hands on it.

  157. Hogenmogen
    July 24th, 2006 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    #131- Scumbaggioni, you didn’t catch Sophie’s sneaking in a little grope?

  158. Hogenmogen
    July 24th, 2006 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    #132 – Ok, you did catch it.

  159. treedweller
    July 24th, 2006 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    It hit me finally what must have happened in MT on Friday that got edited and replaced with Thursday’s strip:

    Rick whips out his tranqulizer gun and shoots Kelly. He carries her back to her hotel and teaches her a lesson about getting mauled by bears, if you know what I mean. When she comes to, they go have dinner.

    That’s gotta be it. Oh, Yeah!

  160. Hogenmogen
    July 24th, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    #135 – Chromium –
    “I just discovered this site a few days ago, btw. I can’t believe how many years I’ve been missing out on it… ”

    Roughly two.

    Blondie: Blondie calls up Dag on his cell. This joke has been done countless times since the adoption of cell phones about 12 – 15 years ago. Even the more modern variant of text messaging wouldn’t help this late-to-the-party insipid flop.

    Phantom: Text message to guy with the turban and the uzi: “Pls shoot Phntm ASAP – Chtu”
    Phantom is unarmed – except is superpower of “really scary voice” – sorry Kit, I’d rather have “bulletproof”, but that’s just me. The turban guy has been looking at Ghost-Who-Walks-On-To-Helicopters-While-In-Flight since Saturday.
    Wait, I just got a text message from Chatu “Gud hlp is hrd 2 fnd”.

    MW: I was promised something that I liked in Sunday’s episode. Instead, I get the rehash of Toby and Mary’s conversation of the last three days. Toby has been repeating herself several times, and Mary, who has Alzheimers or severe adult-onset ADHD keeps acting like it’s the first time she has heard it. #156, 79, 80, Alzheimers is not funny – til it happens to Mary Worth and no one in Charterstone notices the difference.

    Spiderman: Narna, you are aware that there are cameras in that elevator. You’re shooting a movie, you know, there are cameras around. But, coming from a woman who has to wear a crappy marked down Wal-Mart leftover Halloween mask to earn a few bucks, you should be afraid, since she clearly has no self respect left.

    TDIET: Again with that exploding coffee. This time there’s a spider web attached.

    #155, I found a Garfield book in a parking lot once. The strips were from 1991 and they also had background and there was a plot. Jon and Garf were at Jon’s high school reunion. Jon still dressed like a clown, but he had a polka dot necktie, not bowtie.
    I had to mention that I found it in a parking lot, so I could provide a reasonable explanation why I would know what they looked like in 1991.
    On Garfield, take a look at this:
    Does anyone else find it a tad bit odd that Ellen changes from blonde to brunette and from striped dress to solid black? Who’s the one with Amnesia now, Jim Davis?
    Also, amnesia isn’t the same thing as short-term memory loss, is it? I’m sure some medico will correct me if I’m wrong. Davis seems to be using the two interchangably when he thinks it will result in comic humor, but I believe he’s wrong on both accounts.

  161. Hogenmogen
    July 24th, 2006 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Garfield: Oh, I think I get it. That’s his vet.

  162. Library Cat
    July 24th, 2006 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    #153 Thank you Scumbaggioni, much appreciated.

  163. TheRay
    July 24th, 2006 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    “35 years of Ziggy Classics?” Reading that gives me the same feeling as reading or hearing “Subway Restaraunts.” That is, who the hell do they think they are?

  164. Omnywrench
    June 4th, 2007 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    I love how smug Ziggy looks holding his coffee mug with just his thumb and index finger. Who drinks coffee like that?

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