Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/20/06
Right, because when you can’t trust small-town cops, you have to turn to small-town quacks. If there’s trouble afoot involving gunplay and kidnapping and blackmail, I know who I’d want on my side: Rex Morgan, doctor of dubious skills, possessor of no particular capabilities in fisticuffs or weapon-wielding, mediocre golfer. Unlike Troy, Rex can’t even excuse his incompetence by claiming that he never “went to medical school” or “got a license to practice medicine.” His main interests include macaroni and cheese, ice cream, and avoiding his wife. And yet he’s totally going to come up with some magical solution to get you out of this jam, Troy. This is why you shouldn’t let your romantic feelings cloud your judgement in a tough situation.
You know what would be funny? If instead of a pile of coffee mugs, the Out box had a toilet in it!
Wait, did I say “funny”? I meant “disgusting and gross.”
Well, and a little bit funny. Hee.