Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Hey, everybody! I’m back from my voyages and ready to entertain you with my comics-mocking antics, once again! Let’s give a huge hand to Uncle Lumpy for his usual fill-in amazingness — Carl the Turtle is an instantly iconic character who I will treasure in my heart forever. And let’s also give a huge hand to the kind souls who contributed to the Summer 2018 fundraiser. I promise personal thank-yous this week, as well as solicitation of addresses for possible totebag-sending! You’re all the real heroes!

Meanwhile, let’s dive into the glory and pageantry of the comics page, with…

Funky Winkerbean, 7/12/18

Funky Winkerbean heading out to Comic-Con! This is a groundbreaking adventure for our characters, who have never before attended this pinnacle of pop culture and comics fand– [aide whispers in ear] Oh, huh, just last year, you say? Well, confidential to the Funky Winkerbean creative team: you don’t have to set a storyline at Comic-Con every year to write the costs of passes and travel off on your taxes. It’s literally your industry’s main trade show! The word “comic” is right there in the name! Anywhere, here’s hoping that, having foregone a paid tour guide, Les takes a wrong turn in the exotic, dangerous city of “San Diego” and ends up murdered in one of its seedy back alleys, like in an Old Navy or something.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/12/18

Meanwhile, Uncle Lumpy rightfully refused to keep you updated on Rex Morgan, M.D., which over the course of my absence stayed relentlessly focused on its insanely dull “middle-aged dude and his old dad drive around the country in an RV” plot. The strip could’ve at least broken up the monotony by cutting away to one of its other thrilling and unresolved storylines, like [checks notes] ah. Hmm. Anyway, If you thought “middle-aged dude and his old dad drive around the country in an RV” was boring, wait till you get a load of “middle-aged dude and his old dad drive around the country in a midsized SUV.”

Mark Trail, 7/12/18

“She gets totally obsessive about artifacts — almost as if she’s a dedicated researcher well versed in the latest techniques in our field and doing her best to help everyone understand the material culture of ancient societies! Me, I’m just in it for a quick buck. I know some real rich creeps who’d pay good money for Vampire Mister Potato Head here, especially if I spin ’em some story about how the temple I found it in seemed cursed or whatever. These pith helmets don’t pay for themselves!”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/29/18

I know the convention in sequential art is to read word bubbles chronologically left to right. (At least that’s true in writing systems that work that way — do they go right to left in Hebrew or Arabic?) But still, I’d like to imagine that’s not happening panel two here. “Drawing scary stories for the funnybooks, huh?” “Yeah — it worked out pretty well in the long run. Turns out kids love looking at gruesome depictions of hideous monsters and undead fiends with rotting flesh, and that’s what I’m best at drawing. Speaking of which, I’d like to draw your p–” “QUITE A PLACE YOU HAVE HERE MRS. GILLIS, BUT WE SHOULD REALLY BE GOING”

Beetle Bailey, 6/29/18

So, to recap, Beetle can’t get enough of watching from the air as civilizations are bombed into oblivion, but isn’t thrilled about being sent into the ruined cities to kill off the hardy few who managed to survive the killbots and throw all the corpses onto piles to be burned. Sarge is right: he really does have a bad work ethic.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/18

Those of you who are longtime OG Joshreads dot com trufans remember how in the early days of this blog we had a great deal of fun with the Canadian soap opera-ish comic strip For Better or for Worse, and one of the days we had the most fun with it was January 26, 2005, when the strip came up with an inexplicable and hilarious series of words a Canadian tween might use to denigrate a classmate for her promiscuity, the most absurd of which was “roadside.” What I’m trying to say is, the two Hanks have been doing their tour of roadside attractions for weeks, and now Hank Sr. has finally encountered a “roadside” “attraction” in the form of Millie Gray! Sorry, Lefty Gillis, your gal’s about to be swept off her feet by her first love, a big shot horror comics artist who has an RV and everything! Sorry, Hank Jr., you’re gonna have to find a non-RV place to sleep tonight! If this RV is rockin’, it’s a sign that it’s a little unbalanced, so don’t come a knockin’, as it could tip right over!

Mary Worth, 6/24/18

Brandy: A woman haunted by a vague, intrusive fantasy that she’s desperately fleeing from the faceless adversaries trying to track her down and kill her, a woman comforted by the white noise of crashing waves on the beach. Is she the perfect match for a ex-con pill fiend who was wildly incompetent at every aspect of being a drug dealer? Looks like we’re going to find out!

Mark Trail, 6/24/18

Mark Trail wouldn’t be my first guess as to which soap opera strip character would show up with a cherry-picked anecdote to explain that, sure, spicy foods from weird foreign countries are becoming increasingly popular, but they’re probably detrimental to the health of God-fearing Americans and we should stick the flavorless boiled meat dishes our Anglo-Saxon ancestors enjoyed, but, you know what? It’s definitely not a surprise or anything.

Dennis the Menace, 6/24/18

Summoning a pack of neighborhood dogs of all shapes and sizes to do his bidding? Pretty menacing, I would say!

Funky Winkerbean, 6/24/18

“Prototypical persons with NPD present with many interpersonal problems and comorbid disorders, such as depression and bipolar disorder, with consequent increases in risk of suicide, alcohol and substance abuse, and eating disorders” is a sentence from the Psychiatric Times that I’m just going to leave here for no reason!