Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Mary Worth, 11/2/19

Oh, gosh, hey, I haven’t kept you updated on what Wilbur’s been up since he decided to have “just a little sip” of whisky to “take the edge off [his] nervousness” before his big double date with Estelle and Iris and Zak! Here’s what he’s gotten up to: he polished off that Macallan and replaced it with … what looks like … cough syrup? Let’s say cough syrup. Then he drank a lot of the cough syrup, for that “purple drank” buzz the kids love. My only worry about next week is that he’s so cartoonishly drunk that Estelle is going to refuse to go on the date with him, though I guess that if Zak and Iris are patiently waiting at the restaurant and Wilbur shows up 20 minutes late by himself and very, very blotto, it would be even funnier.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/2/19

I guess if you had asked me who the main non-Grimm character of Mother Goose and Grimm was, I’d say “Mother Goose,” obviously, it’s right there in the name, but if you asked me what her job was, I’d say, “…I’m not fully sure she has one?” But in fact it turns out that she’s that Mother Goose, and honestly this is a big surprise because you’d think she’d be a lot richer. Gender pay gap aside, her stuff is very popular, and in the MGGiverse she’s still alive so it isn’t in the public domain!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/2/19

REX [who is very much in the hospital right now]: Uh, no, I’m, uh, out on my boat. I mean: Dr. Morgan is it out on his boat. This Dr. Morgan’s voicemail. Please leave your message at the beep. [Rex makes a “BEEP” noise and then stops talking]

Beetle Bailey, 11/2/19

Ha ha, that kooky Beetle Bailey just dug a grave for himself! How’s your weekend going?

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/27/19

Maybe it’s because I’m not a parent, but I don’t really understand the “joke” in this strip, which seems like a fairly obvious solution to a relatable problem? Is it because modern-day middle class safety-obsessed parenting would never allow a baby to sit up on a table where he could fall off and hurt himself, even though the simple but wise folks of Hootin’ Holler know that as long as adults are paying attention he’s in no danger? Or is that this is a wonderment to Snuffy and his father because Hootin’ Holler has only recently mastered “chair” technology?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/27/19

“Oh, so they think we’re not doing enough medical education in this strip?” said the Rex Morgan, M.D., creative team. “What if we just went into great detail about all the different kinds of medical tests you can get? How’s that for medical education, motherfuckers? Are you not edutained?”

Family Circus, 10/27/19

“You can tell by how depressed he looks! His heart is always crushed by grief whenever he’s not doing the one thing that brings him joy — watching professional football on television — and nothing, not even tending to his beautiful house or spending time with his family, can cheer him up.”

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Mary Worth, 10/22/19

Say, Iris, remember when Tommy, your beloved son, injured his back helping you move, which made it difficult for him to work at his physically demanding job as a janitor, so he took few too many of his legally prescribed pain meds, which led to addiction and maybe a little light pharmacy shopping? Remember how super, super self-righteous you were about the whole thing? Oh, but now that you’re too worn out to keep up with your boyfriend, sexually, it’s OK for you to go looking for over-the-counter pep pills in the “this statement has not been evaluated by the FDA and this product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease” aisle at CVS, a road which we all know will end with you ordering sketchy Chinese-made “lady Viagra” on the dark web. You and Wilbur deserve each other.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/22/19

“And — shut down the point of sale system? And update our Yelp page to let people know we closed early today? And … oh God, the baby is crowning, but this is very important … can you set an away message on my email?”