Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Hagar the Horrible, 6/18/17

There’s a lot of backstory that has to go into making this gag work. First Hagar has to decide that his life is worthy of being commemorated in a long tale, and then, despite his canonical illiteracy, he has to choose to abandon the traditional orally transmitted poetry of his Viking ancestors in favor of a written biography. Then he has to strong-arm Lucky Eddy, who is himself illiterate, into learning letter-craft and then writing Hagar’s life story down. Then Hagar has to ask which parts of the book are bad for Helga to read, because, as his crude X indicates, he himself still refuses to learn the southern art of writing. Which Helga … has? There’s a lot going on here, is what I’m saying.

Mary Worth, 6/18/17

There is as ever a lot of inappropriate bold-lettering in Mary Worth, but I dearly hope that Esme’s all-bolded final speech balloon indicates that she’s shouting her dialogue at the top of her lungs down the deck. “I’M LEAVING THE INVITATION OPEN, DEREK! THE SEX INVITATION! YOU KNOW, FOR EXTRAMARITAL SEX! FOR WHEN YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE! CABIN 1122! COME BY ANY TIME! TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!

Hi and Lois, 6/18/17

Guys, I’m … I’m starting to worry about Hi.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/18/17

[a few weeks later, Kelly sees a reference to “the LGBT community” and is moved to look up what the “B” stands for] hey, wait a minute

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Hi and Lois, 6/16/17

Oh, man, it’s been hard enough for bored housewives like Lois to make flirty eyes at poor Brendan via the drive-through bank teller camera — now they’re supposed to do it through the computer somehow?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/16/17

For a supposedly “woke” arts high school, this depiction of the impoverished rural working class is extremely problematic.

Mark Trail, 6/16/17

CONFIRMED: FBI GUY’S TOP-OF-HEAD HAIR-BLOB IS COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED FROM ALL SIDE- AND BACK-OF-HEAD HAIR, REPRESENTING THE MOST BONKERS HAIRSTYLE IN MARK TRAIL TO DATE

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Marvin, 6/13/17

Usually when we discuss Marvin here, it’s to talk about the main theme of the strip, which is that the title character is a baby who not only poops and pees in his pants, as all babies do, but revels in it, enjoying the way his foul stench disgusts his parents. There’s another theme, though, and that’s how Marvin’s parents need to care not only for their grotesque infant, but also Jenny’s parents, who lost all their retirement savings in bad investments and moved in with Marvin’s family in defeat. Then last year we learned that Jeff’s dad, who he thought had died when he was a child, actually just walked out on the family and Jeff’s mom told her son he was dead, because it was easier! And now he’s decided to come back into his son’s life, entirely for grifting purposes. What I’m saying is that beneath the surface of this light-hearted strip about endless shit-filled diapers, there’s an aspiring Funky Winkerbean trying to get out.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/13/17

Speaking of Funky Winkerbean, don’t think this is the kind of hilarious accidental eavesdropping oh-no-my-beloved-is-cheating-on-me misunderstanding-half-a-conversation you’d see in mindless sitcoms like Three’s Company. No, this is the kind of tragic accidental eavesdropping oh-no-my-beloved-is-cheating-on-me misunderstanding-half-a-conversation you’d see in Shakespeare, which usually end in a murder-suicide.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/13/17

Look, I know coming out to an acquaintance can be difficult. But see, you don’t have to invite them to a high school musical your girlfriend stars in just so you can casually mention that your girlfriend will be appearing in it! You could have said she was the lead when you first invited them to see the show, for instance. That would’ve gotten it out of the way early and then they wouldn’t even have had to come! Or when you first got wind that there was some romantic jealousy, you could’ve just said “I have a girlfriend and you’re gross!” Lotta options that don’t involve several uncomfortable hours watching high school musical theater that somebody else’s girlfriend is starring in, is what I’m saying.