Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Crankshaft, 5/20/18

I’m not a baby boomer, so I thought that maybe the incredibly banal sentence “I’m sorry to say the band has broken up” was uttered mournfully by Paul McCartney at a famous press conference or something, but turns out nope! Turns out that this is just a sad attempt to build a joke a backwards from a possibly real-life incident in which a FitBit — wait, sorry, “Never-Quit-Bit” — band broke, and the only band (in the group-of-musicians sense) that came to mind to make the joke specific was the Beatles. Which, I get it, know your newspaper-comic-reading-audience, but … couldn’t we come up with a more contemporary reference? One Direction? Didn’t One Direction just break up? (I’m not a baby boomer, but I’m also not, like, a young person, so I don’t actually know.)

Mary Worth, 5/20/18

Sorry, guys, I won’t apologize for just cackling in cruel delight whenever Wilbur overcomes some pathetic life drama and claws his way back up to the level of mediocrity he’s comfortable with and then just spasms with delight! The classic example of this is obviously “I shouldn’t be alive … but I am!”, but also let’s not forget the time that Wilbur used his Ask Wendy column to advise a lady to dump her husband, and when she did and regretted it, she sued him, but the case was thrown out on a technicality, leading Wilbur to literally vibrate with relief like a tuning fork. The penultimate panel here is great on its own, of course, but what really makes it special is the context, which is that Wilbur is talking to his editor in the panels before and after it, and there’s no indication that he’s muted the call in between.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/20/18

The last time Heather entered the Avery International board room, of course, it was to prop up her dementia-striken husband, hoping against hope that he could hold it together long enough to fool the board into thinking he still had control of his faculties and could therefore legitimately block a corporate merger that would’ve probably benefitted company shareholders. She committed this fraud for no reason beyond spite against Milton’s son. But bringing in a baby would obviously be beyond the pale!

Dick Tracy, 5/20/18

I sincerely hope that the narration box in panel four is meant to indicate that, here in the back room of Bank Mazuma, a mysterious robotic voice from nowhere suddenly announced “Lights out! Everybody dance!” and then the rest of this gunfight is scored to extremely aggressive techno music.

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Crankshaft, 5/10/18

The “town moms prepare to do battle with Crankshaft, because he’s so bad at his job and contemptuous of the public that he makes their lives miserable in innumerable ways” sequence is an annual strip staple, though I believe this is the first time we’ve seen one of the mothers training to punch Crankshaft in the face until she’s physically exhausted.

Mark Trail, 5/10/18

Just putting this out there: have we ever seen any indication that the Trail family cabin has modern HVAC, or indeed indoor plumbing? I feel like Mark is protesting a little too much here for the benefit of his Mexican cabbie. “Boy! No power, no air conditioning … no showers, which are all things that, uh, I definitely use on a daily basis and know how to operate, in America.”

Spider-Man, 5/10/18

Gentlemen, you could, uh, put some shirts on? Now that you’re not transforming into horrible monsters? And maybe change into some non-tattered pants? No pressure, you don’t have to, but, you know, you could.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/10/18

REX MORGAN, M.D.: SPINE-TINGLING TALES OF SCHEDULING DISAPPOINTMENTS!!!!

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 5/6/18

“Wait, Max, hold on. Just close your eyes for a second. Just think about this movie theater we’re in, how just a few years ago it would’ve been all humans in here, how ‘Konga’ would’ve been the villain in that picture, if they made it at all. And now it’s ours. It’s our theater, Max, and this perp — well, sure, he’s done some crimes, but he’ll being punished after a trial in a court of law, not beaten with a stick or put down by a vet. Take a minute to savor that fact, you know? Just a minute. This guy’s not going anywhere, I promise.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/6/18

Man, what sort of adventures are the Harwoods going to have as they travel across this great country of ours? I sure hope they get to see America’s most fascinating tourist attractions, like that big mansion where Jordan and Michelle are trying their best to fuck in every single room before the lawyers for his dead boss’s estate come and kick him out!