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Judge Parker, 1/13/25

A comics tic meant to telegraph character emotional state that I always find a little odd is when they rub the back of their neck in embarrassment, as Sam is doing in panel two here. I get that they have to do these somewhat exaggerated act-outs to convey what’s happening, but I’m a little puzzled as to what he’s embarrassed about, exactly. “Sorry I just assume you don’t follow my advice or the law”? “Sorry I’m about to accuse your family members of complicity in various crimes”? “Sorry I forgot to tell you that the police have established a 24/7 perimeter around the town because they’re obsessed with capturing your daughter specifically, or maybe because we just live in a panopticon dictatorship now, but either way you should be a lot more subtle with your criming”?

Mary Worth, 1/13/25

“Once, a long time ago, I saw my parents. But then they put a blanket between me and them, which caused them to vanish from the universe. But then the blanket moved, and I could see them again, which meant they existed again. It was very scary and terrifying to me! How could they just blink in and out of existence like that? Am I supposed to believe that they’re sometimes still there, even when I’m not looking at them? That’s insane! If something exists, I should be able to see it! It makes me furious! So you see why I was so mad when your glasses just came out of nowhere and appeared on your face? It made no sense to me, to the protagonist of reality!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/13/25

“I just kind of assumed I hated my daughter! But she finally left and now I feel terrible! Is it possible that I … like her, somehow?”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/11/25

Oh, I’m sorry, did you find the recent week’s worth of Rex Morgan, M.D., Characters Talking On The Phone boring? Well, did it ever occur to you that they found it boring too, and it’s actually really hard and stressful on them to be in this strip? Thank goodness Summer gets to take a break from the relentless changes in facial expression and hand position demanded of her and can now spend three panels blissfully staring out into space.

Pluggers, 1/11/25

I like this one because you could read it as Chicken-Lady just now taking the tree down … or just now putting it up. “I mean, it’s a full five days after Epiphany! But I guess I should put the star up there just to finish the job.”

Slylock Fox, 1/11/25

I’m sorry, I don’t believe any iteration of that child caught a fish bigger than himself. I think he’s just trying to sabotage this guy’s dating profile pic. He’s right to do it! Guys like to post fish pics but women don’t like ’em!! You’re dodging a bullet, buddy!

Blondie, 1/11/25

You foolish children! X-eyes don’t denote sleepiness! Don’t you understand what you’ve done? That snowman is dead! [starts sobbing uncontrollably] He’s dead! He’ll never wake up.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/9/25

I regret to inform you that we are almost to the end of week one of “Kelly is in college, now” and it appears we never did make our way out of the phone talking part of the storyline. But I do think today’s strip has an nice message about how much better Summer and Kelly get along now that she’s out of her rebellious phase. Back then, Kelly was very dismissive about her mother’s “dumb boyfriends,” but now she’s like “Mom, I’m not at home anymore, so shouldn’t you be using the opportunity to, I dunno, have more sex? Just a suggestion. Welp, gotta go!”

Curtis, 1/9/25

Today’s Curtis is a repeat — you can tell because Curtis isn’t wearing the streamlined new hat he got as a gift in 2018 — and I’m pretty sure it may date to before I even started doing this blog. That’s because I can’t find any evidence I talked about it when it first ran, and maybe I’ve become a different person over the years, but I find it hard to believe that at any point in my long life of reading the comics so you don’t have to I would’ve neglected to note that Greg thought of his ample posterior as being in a monogamous sexual relationship with his chair, and his butt and the chair have sex, and are in love, and we’re left to speculate on the mechanics of both types of interaction. I feel like I would’ve talked about it! It’s a lot.

Pluggers, 1/9/25

“Oh Lord, I started out the day with good intentions, but then I got out of bed and, as usual, that’s when it all went wrong! So much blood! So much killing! If You didn’t want me to maul and maul and maul, why did You make me a bear with such powerful claws?”