The Comics Curmudgeon

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WHY, GOD, WHY?

Mary Worth, 9/25/06

I know I’m no Uncle Lumpy, but, here’s “Aldo’s Blues”, with apologies to W.H. Auden:

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent old bags from meddling with a weighty tome,
Silence the chinbeard and with muffled drum
Bring out the car wreck, let interveners come.

Let Dr. Jeff’s plane circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message “Aldo’s Dead.”
Put crepe bows round old “Ask Wendy’s” booty,
Fire traffic cops for dereliction of duty.

He was our North, our South, our East and West,
Our two-tone week and color Sunday rest,
Our noon, our midnight, our talk, our song;
We thought that Aldomania’d last forever: we were wrong.

The booze is not wanted now; put it all away,
Pack up the Johnny and dump out the Bombay,
Man’s inner life we know to be a mystery;
And if drinking’s involved, his outer life’s history.

How powerful was the grip of Aldomania on the land? Well, I logged on at 8:30 this morning and found not one but two Aldo Kelrast memorial videos uploaded to YouTube. The first is from faithful reader jonnya:

And the second from faithful reader the Angry Black Woman:

I urge you to use the comments thread on this post to work through your very understandable anger and pain. But don’t drink and drive off a cliff, no matter how upset you might be! And please do not use this thread to discuss Toby’s obvious camel toe, as this would be unbecoming to the dignity required in the situation.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 25, 2006 at 08:07 am and is filed under Mary Worth. |

364 responses to “WHY, GOD, WHY?”

Harry Mirth
September 25th, 2006 at 8:09 am [Reply]

Captain Kangaroo dies, and people make fun of it.

It is indeed a sad world.
Lucon
September 25th, 2006 at 8:10 am [Reply]

Goddamn
andreavis
September 25th, 2006 at 8:10 am [Reply]

why, Why, WHY??

I have no other words…
GodIsMyCodependent
September 25th, 2006 at 8:11 am [Reply]

I can’t believe he’s really dead. Am I in denial, or just in a comic strip?
Eliot
September 25th, 2006 at 8:14 am [Reply]

In case you were wondering, there is such a thing as being “too into it”.
Capisce
September 25th, 2006 at 8:15 am [Reply]

I’m just glad we all have each other to work through this. Does anyone need a casserole?
Nala
September 25th, 2006 at 8:19 am [Reply]

I cannot believe Aldomania comes crashing down like this mired in death and gore.

*sniff*
Craigers
September 25th, 2006 at 8:19 am [Reply]

MW : Notice how itâ€™s all about La Camerona. “I spent 45 minutes of torture inhaling Wilburâ€™s piercing aroma of Indonesian hair tonic and neglected genital hygiene, wasting my shrewish hectoring on this pathetic nitwit who has gone out and killed himself before he could even get depressed over my emasculation of him!”
Paul James
September 25th, 2006 at 8:20 am [Reply]

But what were those last words Mary wanted to share with Aldo. Will she be haunted by this lost love? When Dr. Jeff returns and chooses to put in an extra shift at the hospital instead of spending the evening with Mary will she thought balloon to herself “Now that Aldo Kelrast was ALWAYS there when I needed him”.
Farwell Bow Tied Lothario
Craigers
September 25th, 2006 at 8:21 am [Reply]

Incidentally, as a friend pointed out, the only sensible interpretation one can make of Toby’s reaction shot, is that she is being callously and hyperbolically sarcastic.
DrBear
September 25th, 2006 at 8:22 am [Reply]

“Right after our intervention! We wasted all that time trying to straighten him out and he died! If we had known we could have stayed home and got drunk as skunks!”
Lee
September 25th, 2006 at 8:22 am [Reply]

I’m wondering about Toby’s coy face-in-hands expression in that last panel. Is the moment when your neighbor is mourning the death of her stalker really the best time to flirt with her?
Krazy Kat
September 25th, 2006 at 8:26 am [Reply]

I am initiating a new ritual in our home
The Aldo Seder
Friends and family will gather in our home each Sept. 24th (he died Sunday right?) at sundown. We will spread the color Sunday comics on the table. On that we will place the Plate of Aldo which will contain:
Bitter Herbs: To remind us of the bitterness of Maryâ€™s rejection.
Apple Cake: To remind us of Maryâ€™s sweetness, though the recipe is a secret.
A Shank Bone: To remind us of Aldoâ€™s bones, broken in the crash.
Salt Water: To remind us of the tears as we fled the intervention.
A glass of Johnny Walker Scotch: To remind us of Aldoâ€™s friend â€œJohnnyâ€ who never judged or deserted him.

At the table will be an empty chair to which we invite zombie Aldo to come and be our guest.

The Seder concludes when everyone gets bombed and leaves to drive home.

NEXT YEAR IN SANTA ROYAL!

More information on the Seder can be found on the internet
Scoopernicus
September 25th, 2006 at 8:27 am [Reply]

Aldo did not die in vain. His car landed ontop of the evil ‘Spiderman’ butler, just as he was crawling out of the water to wreak terrible revenge.
Dan
September 25th, 2006 at 8:27 am [Reply]

Hm, so he IS dead. That doesn’t explain how the coppers knew to call Mary, then..
kelly
September 25th, 2006 at 8:29 am [Reply]

This is straight-up, wiggidety-wack, yo!

Fo sho.
Hogenmogen
September 25th, 2006 at 8:31 am [Reply]

Angry Black Woman, Johnny A – Kudos. Great work. I really have to work hard at not laughing at work – and that hurts as much as the void left in my heart from Aldo, dear, sweet, stalking, murderous, drunken Aldo.

Will the wind ever remember
the names it has blown in the past?
With its crush, its old age and its wisdom
it whispers “No. This shall be the last.”

And the wind cries Mary.
elyse
September 25th, 2006 at 8:31 am [Reply]

you might have said something funny in this post, but all i can look at right now is Toby’s immense camel toe and feel physically inferior.
Eric
September 25th, 2006 at 8:31 am [Reply]

And here I had called a storyline involving a shattered Aldo Kelrast being rushed to the hospital, where a unsuspecting Mary Worth would arrive for her volunteer shift. Her barren womb would stir up some vestigal maternal instinct, and she would nurse our Aldo back to the glorious health that only a walrus-man can be in.

Instead, we get this piece of shit. Lame, Mary Worth writer guy whose name I have never even thought to learn.
Maxim Gorky
September 25th, 2006 at 8:33 am [Reply]

There are some inconsistencies here. I think we owe it to ourselves to begin a write-in campaign to the author(s), inker(s), creator(s), producer(s), managing director(s), key grip(s), and assorted cronies to bring aldo BACK to life.

Does anybody have their email addresses?

PS: Pretty sweet poem+videos.
av8rmike
September 25th, 2006 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Don’t forget: the interview with the creators promised not only a resolution within 60 days with a “dramatic wallop”, but also another huge surprise! Who wants to place guesses as to what that might entail?

I’m agreeing with the previous commentator who said that owing to the soap-opera nature of the strip, Aldo wouldn’t actually be dead, as they “never found a body”.
Craigers
September 25th, 2006 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Anyway, I can assure you all that everything will seem normal and sedate in the world of Charterstone in the weeks ahead, with Aldo safely forgotten as the next crisis of slight non-conformity descends like a maelstrom on Mary and her parti-coloured harpies of revenge.

But behind those few and fleeting “scenes” for which Moy and Giella draw back the curtain for us, it will be a different story.

It is little known or understood, but late into the evening, as the gloom of midnight stretches its slient black fingers over the spotless gutters and neatly swept parking lot of their fair complex and the witching hour comes nigh, Mary and her wicked crew summon the souls of their unnumbered victims in a daemonic seance, seeking to torment their white but tortured souls until they become hard and black as anthracite – until those spectres can be commanded to wreak their vengeful bidding over the pool parties and afternoon teas of day.

No, my friends, Aldo won’t be forgotten about. Not by half. His transformation into a Hound of Hell has only just begun.
Hogenmogen
September 25th, 2006 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Leroy Lockhorn looks over to MW from his cramped, little box on the funny pages and wistfully mutters “Lucky bastard.”
zenbowl
September 25th, 2006 at 8:36 am [Reply]

I like how Mary’s all in red and Toby’s in violet. They’re Roy G Biv bookends in a rainbow of Aldo mourning.
Craigers
September 25th, 2006 at 8:37 am [Reply]

Elyse’s was the line of the month.
DSZ
September 25th, 2006 at 8:37 am [Reply]

[First time poster here]

I’m still angry that they keep referring to their “intervention.” It wasn’t an intervention at all – interventions are supposed to be about helping the target and confronting him/her with friends and family, people that the target trusts.

“Mary Worth doesn’t like you, go away!” isn’t an intervention, it’s an ambush, brought on by people who were previously spreading the rumor that Aldo had killed his first wife. Mary filing a restraining order would have been infinitely less humiliating than being threatened by a guy who patterns his beard after Civil War photos and another guy who’s too much of a wuss to communicate normally with attractive women.
bootsybooks
September 25th, 2006 at 8:39 am [Reply]

18 You’re right, that girl has got quite a (purple) package.
EZ_e
September 25th, 2006 at 8:44 am [Reply]

I think we’ll always remember exactly where we were when we heard Aldo died.

if aldo comes back and stalks Mary from beyond the grave…now that’d be cool.
smacky
September 25th, 2006 at 8:45 am [Reply]

The most likeable character is gone? Aldomania ends with both a bang AND a whimper? How is this possible?
Brian Schlosser
September 25th, 2006 at 8:46 am [Reply]

With apologies to Wallace Stevens:

Call the squawker of platitudes,
The pious one, and bid her whip
In kitchen cups grey tuna melts.
Let the wenches dawdle in such sundresses
As they are used to wear, and let the chinbeard
Bring flowers in last month’s school papers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which he embroidered her wrinkled face once
And spread it so as to cover his face.
If his horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold he is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
Thelonious_Nick
September 25th, 2006 at 8:47 am [Reply]

I, for one, think this has been the best Mary Worth story arc ever. I will miss it, but not for 4-6 weeks, as we still have to work through the platidudinous aftermath.
Ellie M.
September 25th, 2006 at 8:47 am [Reply]

Come to think of it, a ghost would be the ultimate stalker. Mary would have NOWHERE to hide!

Then she’d have to call the Ghostbusters. Da da da-da da-da…
Ran
September 25th, 2006 at 8:48 am [Reply]

ALDO LIVES!
coyote
September 25th, 2006 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Eh. Aldo, schmaldo. On the other hand, if anything happens to Molly, I’ll probably end up driving around aimlessly with a bottle of Johnny Walker in one hand.
Electric Princess
September 25th, 2006 at 8:49 am [Reply]

My husband’s theory is that Mary will follow Aldo into the bottle and wind up turning tricks at the Downtown Women’s Shelter.

Shudder.
TB Tabby
September 25th, 2006 at 8:49 am [Reply]

Don’t worry, he’ll be back. Comic strip characters never die for good.

…Wait, that’s comic BOOK characters.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Adfella
September 25th, 2006 at 8:50 am [Reply]

UNEXPECTEDLY SUDDEN RESOLUTION

So after dragging this storyline out for MONTHS, and after depicting Aldo driving around with his beloved scotch bottle for WEEKS, Aldo’s death is accomplished in a mere TWO DAYS?!?!

I can’t believe they didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to have his hospital death-bed vigil drag out at least until Valentine’s Day.
johnw
September 25th, 2006 at 8:54 am [Reply]

Maybe the surprise twist is the strip’s upcomgin turn into shock and horror: “The Night of the Living Aldo.” Stalking takes on a whole new dimension…

Actually, to be somewhat seriously analytical about this, I don’t understand why Mary is so broken up about Aldo’s death. He was stalking her, for God’s sake. If she’s learned anything about human nature from all her years as a busybody, she might be at least a little bit relieved that her obsessive stalker would trouble her no more. Instead, she’s reacting like he was a longtime friend or beloved relative.

Of course, maybe the creators’ huge surprise is that Mary will realize intervening in others’ lives can lead to tragedy, and get out of the busybody business. From now on, it’s Mah Jongg and jigsaw puzzles for our Mary. Maybe she’ll get herself a dozen cats and never appear in public again.
Cornwhacker
September 25th, 2006 at 8:54 am [Reply]

Welcome, DSZ! I predict that Mary is going to spend the next few weeks telling Toby & the gang exactly what you just said. Aldo died so that Charterstone could learn the true meaning of “intervention”.

And then they’ll have a pool party.
Tom
September 25th, 2006 at 8:54 am [Reply]

My guess on the second huge surprise is that Mary gets elected mayor on an anti-paving of logging roads platform.
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Of course she secretly loved him. That’s why she’s all cut up.
Erik
September 25th, 2006 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Poor Aldo. You were the only reason that I read “Mary Worth”. My life is emtpy without you. You will be missed.
Perry
September 25th, 2006 at 8:58 am [Reply]

I’m just waiting for Slim from Gasoline Alley to show up with his tow truck, to pull Aldo’s car out of the ravine.
yellojkt
September 25th, 2006 at 9:03 am [Reply]

We will learn that Toby secretly cut Aldo’s brake line and put a liquor store ad on the front seat. She couldn’t handle that Mary Worth got the part of Marvela instead of her.

Oops, sorry. Wrong insane jealousy-driven storyline.

Actually, Toby and Aldo were having an affair and she suggested Aldo hit on Mary as cover, but Aldo really went too far and Toby decided that she would take from Mary what she couldn’t have.
Amber
September 25th, 2006 at 9:04 am [Reply]

Re: How the cops knew to call Mary
I’m sure Aldo had hastily written a note to her as he fell off the cliff with his arm over his eyes. Either that, or the police knew about his “stalking.”

Also, I must be in denial. Aldo can’t be gone. I’m sure he’ll emerge in a week or two with an Arrested Development-style lesson of “And that’s why you don’t give an ‘intervention’ to a recovering alcoholic by having your friends tell him to stop bothering you.” Mary forced him to drive off a cliff! And this is a man who simply moved after he “killed” his first wife. Poor Aldo.

I will accept any way, logical or not, to get Aldo back, if only to not have to watch Mary deal with his death and spout out platitudes for two months.
Randy
September 25th, 2006 at 9:05 am [Reply]

The next twist is that the folks at Charterstone will turn on Mary, and give her all the blame for Aldo’s death. I can picture them at the funeral: “He wasn’t such a bad guy, really.” “Maybe we misjudged him.” “Geez, Mary, like a pity-lay would have killed you.”
Bob
September 25th, 2006 at 9:07 am [Reply]

am i the only one who thinks the color pic of Mary at the Palm Beach Post link, looks amazingly like Captain Janeway? http://www.palmbeachpost.com/accent/content/accent/epaper/2006/08/17/a1e_maryworth1_0817.html
Paul James
September 25th, 2006 at 9:10 am [Reply]

What is with all these cliff diving going on, Butler, Molly and the dog, now Aldo? Did all these people get transported to Acapulco or should I say Aldopulco….what bad pun. But if you need a pick me up, the giant broccoli in CURTIS is actually hilarious.
Krazy Kat
September 25th, 2006 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Santa Royal police: Let me get this straight, mam. You and three friends kidnapped your mentally retarded neighbor and then humiliated him for two hours before letting him go?
Amber
September 25th, 2006 at 9:15 am [Reply]

You know, why would they go through such trouble to blatantly show us Aldo was wearing his seatbelt while he was with Johnny… and then have him die after falling off a little, mysteriously-placed cliff? I’ve seen worse cars, and people have survived. C’mon, Aldo! We’re still rooting for you.
stevedogg
September 25th, 2006 at 9:15 am [Reply]

my friend, you would not intervene with such high zest
with stalkers ardent for some topiary
the old lie: dulce et decorum est
pro patria mary

(i know, it’s not grammatically correct, but it’s the thought that counts)
Allie Cat
September 25th, 2006 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Wait – they killed off a character on a MONDAY?

My mind is blown – not only did they kill Kelrast, but they didn’t drag it out til at LEAST Thursday.
Marty B
September 25th, 2006 at 9:22 am [Reply]

OH GOD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!

I want to buy one of these original strips. Does anyone knwo who sells Mary Worth pieces?
joeypants
September 25th, 2006 at 9:24 am [Reply]

I swear I saw Aldo on 5th street and broadway this morning.

NEVER STOP BELIEVING.

Zombie Aldo in ‘06.
Zep
September 25th, 2006 at 9:26 am [Reply]

The writers don’t get it. They start something great and, well, kill it. I was hoping for Aldo to get wasted then go back and kidnap Mary, only for her goodhearted doctor to save the day is a struggle with two guys writhing on the floor trying to grab a single gun. But no, Aldo just boozed it up, said “Oh No” when he happened to be driving by a random jagged cliff, and it’s done. Maybe he could have been a patient at the hospital where Mary works and he could have stalked her more. The choices were endless, but now they are just ended. Leave it to Mary Worth to bring us light a fire and snuff it out!
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 9:27 am [Reply]

Maybe they killed him off early because we were having WAY too much fun…

Yes, there are such joyless souls in the universe.
Zogar
September 25th, 2006 at 9:28 am [Reply]

I like the idea of Aldo crawling from the wreckage. After a healthy recovery time and finding a mask to hide his scarred visage, Aldo could start hunting down and exacting his revenge on all the members of the intervention, saving Mary for last. At first they’ll all think it’s just a coincidence when Professor Chinbeard’s corpse is found gutted with a broken “Johnny” Walker bottle, but then when the same thing happens to Toby a week later… then they’ll realize the horrible, horrible truth. Aldo lives!
Hogenmogen
September 25th, 2006 at 9:32 am [Reply]

I was looking forward to an Aldo vs. Dr. Jeff showdown. Mary would be dancing in the corner to “My Boyfriend’s Back (and There’s Gonna Be Trouble)”.
TheBigSmoke
September 25th, 2006 at 9:33 am [Reply]

…Meanwhile back at the Charterstone parking garage Dr. Jeff calmly puts the pliers he used to cut Aldo’s brake cables back into his pocket and walks off, whistling, into the shadows.

…Meanwhile in Bangalla the Bandar wonder what they heck they did to deserve the Ghost-Who-Drinks-And-Cries-and-Wears-Bow-Ties.

…Meanwhile in “Funky Winkerbean” Tom Batiuk is mildly depressed that dispite his best efforts, “Mary Worth” has now killed off more characters than he has.
Tom Bondurant
September 25th, 2006 at 9:33 am [Reply]

I swear I saw Aldo on 5th street and broadway this morning.

I saw Aldo drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vic’s …

… and his hair was perfect!

(with apologies to Warren Zevon)
Mary Brandt
September 25th, 2006 at 9:33 am [Reply]

Somehow, I see a spike in the sales of Aldomania shirts in the near future…

Rest in peace, Aldo. Rest in flaming, alcohol-soaked peace.

-MB
Abbey the Wonderdog
September 25th, 2006 at 9:35 am [Reply]

Aldo has ridden off into the sunset to live with characters like Fence Post Frank. Too good to be true and too good to keep around.

I hear that Frank and Aldo are planning to move to San Francisco.

BARK! BARK! BARK!
BethThe#20Fan
September 25th, 2006 at 9:36 am [Reply]

If anyone wants to get grossed out, in today’s FBOFW strip, Mom Foob licks her lips in panel 4 and makes disgusting noises in panel 5. I found it online at the official website. I, uh, don’t know how I got there.
mattt
September 25th, 2006 at 9:38 am [Reply]

The cops didn’t know to call Mary. They were just working their way backwards through the phonebook.

“Hello, Susan Zeeman? Was Aldo Kelrast at your house last night? Okay, thank you… Hello, Randolph Young? Was Aldo Kelrast at your house last night? Okay, thank you… Hello, Steven Wyman? Was Aldo Kelrast at your house last night? Okay, thank you… Hello, Mary Worth? Was Aldo Kelrast at your house last night? He was? Yes! Finally!…”
angry black woman
September 25th, 2006 at 9:41 am [Reply]

*sniff* Josh, that was beautiful…

*throws self at casket like an Italian grandmother and wails* Aldooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Splinky
September 25th, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

“He’s dead! And right after our intervention…”

Sounds to me like you had the wrong intervention. But, seriously, you can’t really believe that Aldo is really dead. I’ve seen enough Hitchcock to know that this is just the third act – the one where the killer fakes his own death, comes back in the middle of the night, and Mary eventually has to kill him with a conveniently placed pair of knitting needles.
BabyMomma
September 25th, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

#38

Guilt. Mary is wracked with guilt because she let her “friends” pick on someone who had the mental capacity of Forrest Gump. And we alll know there’s a special place in hell for people who torment the mentally retarded.

I hope Toby also knows there’s a special place in hell for women who have cameltoe while wearing a purple sweatsuit.
Sean-o
September 25th, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

Perhaps Aldo’s “purpose” was to inspire CC readers to create spot-on parodies of the beloved authors of long-ago English majors.

As Yeats said, “Cast a Cold Eye on Life, on Death…Kelrast, pass by!”

My keyboard grows damp with tears, the “tickity-tappity-clickity-clakity” sounds muffled in grief.

(Also, BTW, was the stunningly beautful Great White North scenery “date” with Officer McPiggy and Lez a flashback or something in Subday’s Foob? Great persistent use of the Maple Leaf, eh? Beauty, eh? The entire Foob “art” staff must have had a chance to dip their brush in.)
David the Plugger
September 25th, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

Both videos are excellent.
Angry Black Woman:
Nice use of the Ken Burn’s signature pull-out from the stills.

jonnya:
I only wish that under the “The End??” the hand with the raised bottle had emerged from the wreckage.

Which has me thinking: If Aldomania doesn’t end with a Zombie attack, it was really all for nothing. “ALDO THIRSTY! ALDO DRINK BLOOD! EAT BRAINS!”
anon
September 25th, 2006 at 9:48 am [Reply]

Unfortunately, further information on “camel toe” IS available on the internet. Complete with, um, edifying pictures.

Learn something new every day I guess :-O
Stellanova
September 25th, 2006 at 9:48 am [Reply]

Stevedogg: bravo! That could be the best desecration-of-classic-verse-in-Aldo’s-honour yet. Although to be honest, all the poetic tributes have been fabulous.

Also, Aldo (and Aldomania)’s tragic demise has pushed me to emerge from lurkerdom and post a comment. The power of Aldo lives on! Even if he doesn’t.
reddog
September 25th, 2006 at 9:51 am [Reply]

Alas, poor Aldo
We hardly knew ye.
Porky
September 25th, 2006 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Aldo is NOT dead. He just jumped-strip to Brenda Starr and took the name “Spiff”. He’s right there in today’s (9/25) middle panel.
In true cliff-hanger fashion, he obviously wasn’t in the car when it crashed into the rocks below; rather, he somehow jumped clear and landed on the deck of a nearby architectural disaster.
dex
September 25th, 2006 at 9:57 am [Reply]

As bereft as I am, if the death of Aldo Kelrast can bring on this level of creativity, I’d be happy to see him go every day. Josh, jonnya, Angry Black Woman, those were works of genius.
Porky
September 25th, 2006 at 9:57 am [Reply]

http://www.comicspage.com/brendastarr/brendastarr.html
Kyle
September 25th, 2006 at 9:57 am [Reply]

I can hardly believe that Mary Worth has the power to shock me. And yet, here I am, shocked.

I can’t help thinking that this all would have ended better for Aldo if the “intervention” team had gone with the sack o’ doorknobs after all.
Frank Drackman
September 25th, 2006 at 9:57 am [Reply]

So whats the bad news Mary got?
brendan
September 25th, 2006 at 10:01 am [Reply]

I linked to the Angry Black Woman’s youtu be.
So touching and well done.

I can’t believe Aldo’s dead. In fact, I don’t believe it.
Perhaps the “huge surprise” 21 refers to is that Aldo survived the wreak. they just thought he was dead because nothing but ashes remained, maybe.

OH GOD, ALDO, COME BACK! COME BACK AND TORMENT MARY WORTH!

man, this sucks and on a monday no less.
OTOH, the foobiverse thinks that Grandpa Jim may be dead by the end of the week: elly’s bringing over a care package or something. One can only hope.

God, I can’t believe that Aldo’s gone.
pretend2benormal
September 25th, 2006 at 10:02 am [Reply]

I found Aldo’s MySpace page!!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361435
anne
September 25th, 2006 at 10:04 am [Reply]

47: crap you are right. Same hair, same everything.

FANTASTIC tributes, people. They were so touching that I cried… with laughter.
Hogenmogen
September 25th, 2006 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Not to interrupt the mourning this morning, but can anyone direct me to a site that shows Sunday A-3G? Something happened on Sunday that took Margo from hostile to cordial and somehow after Luann’s 10:00 meeting with Hat-Man, and there was a breakfast or something?

Yah, both Luann and Margo are not exactly indespensible to high roller Mr. Mills. Luann isn’t getting a showing with those fern paintings. I suspect Eric is going to use them to spice up a rather plain hallway that extends from the back restroom to the mop closet in his offices. Margo’s unsurpassed party planning has gone from “The Wedding of the Century” between two billionaires to some kid’s birthday party.
Bill James
September 25th, 2006 at 10:06 am [Reply]

Peace, peace! he is not dead, he does not sleep.
He has awakened – hungover – from pitiful life,
And with his friend Johnny he shall keep
Stalking poor Mary and his deceased wife.
Doug Puthoff
September 25th, 2006 at 10:07 am [Reply]

I wonder if somebody will start selling Aldo commerative plates. Hey, it worked for Dale Earnhardt.
Dan
September 25th, 2006 at 10:11 am [Reply]

Perhaps a license is needed to perform an intervention in Santa Royale. If so, The Charterstone Mafia could be in big trouble. Performing an illegal intervention DIRECTLY leading to the death of an individual.

Also, did a third party witness this alleged stalking, no, it’s Mary’s word vs Aldo’s. Mary’s been bored since Dr. Jeff went on safari. “Who can I mess with, who’s life can I destroy.” “I know, I’ll screw with that new guy with the bowtie.” “First I flash some leg, then a wink, run my tongue over my lips.” “When I’ve got him so worked up then I’ll accuse him of stalking me.” “This summers gonna be fun, I should send Jeff away every year, a lot more exciting than those Bum Boat dinners.”

Sorry Toby, Ian & Ask Wendy, wasn’t Mary’s idea for an intervention, you guys should have checked about a license first. Mary’s gonna walk, the rest of you are gonna do hard time.
juggernaut
September 25th, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

camel toe, hell – that’s a bonafide HUMP. also the most insincere expression of remorse seen since the last time cheney shot someone.
brendan
September 25th, 2006 at 10:13 am [Reply]

By the way, speaking of youtube, what the fuck is this???
cheech wizard
September 25th, 2006 at 10:16 am [Reply]

Charterstone must be some kind of police state if the cops knew Aldo was at Mary Worth’s before his fatal accident – but then, we knew that already.

In his memory, I composed a tribute parody of Tennyson’s “In Memorium,” but the damn thing keeps crashing my T1 connection when I try to upload it. (Warning: Obscure English-major type joke)
Woodrowfan
September 25th, 2006 at 10:17 am [Reply]

Is that Molly’s paw sticking out from beneath Aldo’s car??
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 10:17 am [Reply]

Now, this is a little subtle, so maybe I’m completely imagining it… what do the rest of y’uns think?

Toby says, “Last night? How awful! And right after our intervention!”

It seem to me that if Toby were just commenting on the irony, she would have said “Last night? How awful! Right after our intervention!” The fact that she stuck that “and” in there implies (to me at least) that she knows there was NO time lag between intervention and death… i.e., that she has guilty knowledge.

Whatcha reckon, am I insane?
Poteet
September 25th, 2006 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Josh, that was wonderful. Thank you.

Inspired by your masterpiece, and with further apologies to Auden,

I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn:
Those to whom evil is done
Do cliff-dives in return.

Speaking of which, maybe Aldo’s adult offspring will show up at Charterstone, be revealed as a crackerjack lawyer, and proceed to sue Mary and the Interventionist Naysayers into bankruptcy.
Anthony Cartouche
September 25th, 2006 at 10:26 am [Reply]

This is so paltry compared to Uncle Lumpy’s and Josh’s takes, but what the hell, and with apologies to David Bowie:

ALDO DEAD DUDE

Well, Aldo died last night, could have been suicide
How he kicked it in the head when he was 65
Booze jive, don’t wanna stay alive
When you’re 65

And Toby’s wearin’ sweats, she just jogged around the block
And Mary’s in shock, you can tell cuz her hand is on her face
Charterstone disgrace

Policeman’s comin’ to discuss it, Mary Worth is lookin’ quite aghast
Oh man, who needs James Dean when you’ve got Kelrast
Oh brother you guessed,
He’s a dead dude

Aldo, dead dude
Stalking was rude
Aldo, dead dude
Man, were you stewed
Cornwhacker
September 25th, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Zombie Aldo, lost and alone in Santa Royale, sees Mary in the parking lot and tries to make friends.

He can’t understand her hostility towards him.
DuggleBogey
September 25th, 2006 at 10:29 am [Reply]

We haven’t seen a body yet…Aldo may yet live to stalk another day, this time FROM THE GRAVE!
benro
September 25th, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Perhaps Elly will be overcome with hunger, eat Gramps’ Prime Rib dinner, then bring him something from McDonalds. Gramps will kick off tomorrow, and Elly will be haunted with guilt after having denied him his favorite dish as his last meal. We’re being set up for October’s theme – guilt month!!
Opus
September 25th, 2006 at 10:32 am [Reply]

The hell??? Lame, lame, lame. Where is *this* supposed to go — grief and recrimination? What fun is that???
Jmofwiw
September 25th, 2006 at 10:33 am [Reply]

“How awful…and right after our intervention!”

“How inconsiderate of him,” she added.

Toby, you won’t have Aldo Kelrast to kick around anymore.

But just wait until Mary is wandering the sidewalks in her sleep, scrubbing at her hands saying, “Out! Out damned spot!”

Aldo will haunt them all for the rest of their days.
jerseygull
September 25th, 2006 at 10:35 am [Reply]

That’s some intervention, when the guy ends up driving off a cliff! Maybe Toby should leave the “intervening” to trained professionals.
TB Tabby
September 25th, 2006 at 10:36 am [Reply]

Aldo Kelrast is not dead. But he must make the world think hs IS dead, until he can find a way to control the raging beast inside him…

(Holds up a picture of Aldo, looking normal on one side and green and enraged on the other)
Jerry
September 25th, 2006 at 10:36 am [Reply]

Aldo’s gone but not forgotten… especially when we see the terms of his will. Perhaps refrigerated body parts of prior victims will be left to Mary?

Or maybe there’s a hideous Mary shrine, soaked in animal blood and booze vomit, in Aldo’s room?

Oh, please God, please!
Bill
September 25th, 2006 at 10:41 am [Reply]

Farewell, Aldo, you were too beautiful for this world, but not too proud to drink straight from the bottle.
Miss Alexandra
September 25th, 2006 at 10:42 am [Reply]

I’m betting Aldo managed to write Mary Worth’s name in blood on his windshield before he finally passed.
Byron
September 25th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

Goodnight sweet prince.
Gryph
September 25th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

Well, October is right around the corner. A Very Special Epispde starring Zombie Aldo would be the perfect seasonal touch. After all, one can never have enough reasons to wear one’s applique Jack O’Lantern sweater, and Toby has just been waiting for the right moment to debut her black and orange jog…er speed walking suit.
FiestaGrl
September 25th, 2006 at 10:46 am [Reply]

Nooo, it’s too soon! Silly me, I had expected today’s strip to be a simple re-cap of Sunday’s, with no definitive resolution about Aldo’s condition for several days. So I was stunned to have this immediately revealed on Monday morning.

Yes now the guilt has begun. After watching AngryBlackWoman’s wonderful video, I found myself realizing how cute and likable Aldo really was. How could we have fostered such loathing and contempt for him? We jeered at his clothes, we mocked his hand gestures!I almost feel personally responsible for his demise.

I suspect that Aldo was alive when he pulled him from the wreckage, but he died in the ER, after whispering his last words, “Mary Worth, I loved you. How could you do this to me?” thus giving the police the clue they needed to trace the trail back to her.

Will we feel this way when Lizardbreath breaks Blandthony’s heart by running off with Paul the Mountie?

If Molly the Minibear dies this week too, I will be looking for a friend named Johnny.
J Easy
September 25th, 2006 at 10:46 am [Reply]

Goodnight you Prince of Charterstone, you King of Santa Royale
rich
September 25th, 2006 at 10:46 am [Reply]

Those videos were great, jonnya and Angry Black Woman! Your talents astound me.

Can I take a moment from our collective grief to point out Ted Forth’s hand gesture in today’s Sally Forth? (As well as the TDIET — or “tid’yett” as my wife calls it — reference in the last panel?)
Goshen Clown
September 25th, 2006 at 10:46 am [Reply]

I’ll bet a website already exists claiming a governmental conspiracy with Aldo alive and living with Elvis in a secluded cabin in the Adirondacks.
LB
September 25th, 2006 at 10:47 am [Reply]

Aldo will live on, but in another form. He will haunt Mary vicariously, through a (twin?) brother who comes to Charterstone to identify the remains / attend the funeral. His name will be Ronaldo. Ronaldo Kelrast.
And he’ll be the anti-Aldo: slim, unbelievably good-looking (sans-mushroom haircut; he’d have some spiky funky ‘do), charming, wealthy, successful and he will NOT stalk Mary.
Mary will fall in love at the wake and start stalking Ronaldo. but he will be incredibly aloof and ignore Mary’s efforts.

Then she will see; Mary will see how bitter rejection is!!
dimestore lipstick
September 25th, 2006 at 10:49 am [Reply]

#79 pretend2benormal–

Somebody better notify the folks over at
mydeathspace.com .
Hogenmogen
September 25th, 2006 at 10:51 am [Reply]

#91 Anthony, that was Mott the Hoople, not Bowie.
Ennui, Willie Keeler
September 25th, 2006 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Lurker here:

Aldo sparked my interest in the strip. Maybe they can have a spinoff Branchian fantasy where Aldo is in Hades along with Maryâ€™s deceased husband and other departed things from the strip; like Toby Cameronâ€™s heart.
angry black woman
September 25th, 2006 at 10:56 am [Reply]

81: Sunday’s 3-G
Anthony Cartouche
September 25th, 2006 at 10:57 am [Reply]

110: MTH had the hit, yes, but David Bowie wrote the song.
heywhatsit
September 25th, 2006 at 10:57 am [Reply]

I didn’t cry the day they hung my own father for stealing a sheep. But I’ll cry now.

Good Bye, Aldo Kelrast.
phil
September 25th, 2006 at 10:58 am [Reply]

God, please let Aldo’s twin brother Waldo show up at the funeral!
Poteet
September 25th, 2006 at 11:00 am [Reply]

In a desperate attempt to distract myself from grief, I turn to RMMD: Widdew Sawah’s recent head/neck ratio has really been creeping me out. It’s like she’s morphing into Dolly. And in today’s first panel, Rex looks like Fearless Fosdick, while June has a look and posture vaguely reminiscent of Mary Jane Parker in the old Spiderman days. Is this strip turning into some weird kind of old-comic homage?

And yet, all I can really think about is Aldo…
LB
September 25th, 2006 at 11:02 am [Reply]

115: Ronaldo or Waldo, we still need a twin brother to somehow appear!
Moby
September 25th, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

Soon Mary will get a call from Mr. Greenjeans, Executor of Aldo’s estate.
Thomas
September 25th, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Any chance we can get an airbrushed Aldo R.I.P. shirt?
coyote
September 25th, 2006 at 11:08 am [Reply]

#89: No, not insane. Toby has a guilty look. She needs to lawyer up right now.

#108: A brother, yes, but not a twin brother. In fact, Aldo’s brother will bear a striking resemblance to Mister Rogers.
Rex Morgan, FOOB
September 25th, 2006 at 11:08 am [Reply]

44–not only that, but Toby reprogrammed Aldo’s nav system to guide him to the road that had crumbled away.

And she’d have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!
cheech wizard
September 25th, 2006 at 11:13 am [Reply]

So now Aldo will continue to stalk Mary Worth from beyond the grave, appearing as a shimmering spectre raising a cold finger to point at her and moan “Youuuu killlllled meeee, Maryee Worthhhh,” and showering down rains of ghostly ping-pong balls in the middle of the night. The next intervention will require incense and holy water — if we’re lucky, we’ll get to see Toby’s head do a few 360s before it’s all over.
MaryAnnTheRest
September 25th, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

Of course I’ll remember where I was when I heard that Aldo died… exactly where I was through all of Aldomania, sitting at my desk pretending to work.

Jonnya and ABW, those are fantastic videos. Much more poignant that actually reading the strips themselves.

Maybe Mary will see Aldo everywhere. She thinks she’s going crazy, but it’s all just part of his sinister plan…I prefer Amber’s vision of an Arrested Development ending. “And that’s why you don’t trick your neighbors into phony interventions!”
Gershwin
September 25th, 2006 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Re: 106: In panel one, which hand is Ted’s?

Re: Aldo: If he fell as far as jonnya has him fallin’, there won’t be wreckage, just atoms.

LOVE the videos.
Kaliflower
September 25th, 2006 at 11:25 am [Reply]

This is the greatest blog in the history of all blogging.

We can only hope that, come Samhain, Aldo’s angry zombie corpse will come stalk Mary once again.
Charles Kinbote
September 25th, 2006 at 11:38 am [Reply]

I’m waiting for the funeral, where Mary and her friends will undoubtedly have an angry confrontation with Aldo’s friends who had the intervention that had finally got him to stop drinking.
angry black woman
September 25th, 2006 at 11:43 am [Reply]

#126 omg brilliant!!!!

In other news, I am seriously avoiding work today and am in the midst of making another Aldo video. Why, you ask? because if I do that, I can avoid working on my novel.
mere cog in the machine
September 25th, 2006 at 11:44 am [Reply]

‘To His Love’, with apologies to Ivor Gurney:

He’s gone and all our storylines
Are useless indeed
We’ll stalk no more in Charterstone
Where the meddlers feed
Quietly and take no heed

His body that was so fat
Is not as you
Knew it on Keeshan river
Under the blue
Driving our bumboat through

You would not know him now…
But still he died
Drunkenly, so cover him over
With roses of pride
Purple from Keeshan side

Cover him, cover him soon!
And with thickset
Masses of yellow foodstuffs
Hide that fat, drunken
Thing I must somehow forget
april
September 25th, 2006 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Ok, I only know what a camel toe is because I saw “The Weatherman” (There’re two hours of my life I wish I had back.) but I am still unsure as to why someone would DRAW one in a comic? It boggles the mind. I thought it was just an unfortunate accident of too-tight pants, not something an “artist” would aspire to draw on one of their characters…why?

Also, I still maintain the only way a grown woman would wear a full old skool purple sweat suit like that would be as part of some 80’s style costume. Possibilities are:

-She’s dressing a Punky Brewster for a party
-She’s trying out for the made for TV Movie “The Laker Girl Years – the story of Paula Abdul”
-She’s mentally ill and thinks she is the daughter of Barney.

I really think it has to be one of those three.
Nori Chan
September 25th, 2006 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Man, this plotline has been just like every freakin’ horror movie I’ve ever watched.

My favorite characters always die. :(
Uncle Lumpy
September 25th, 2006 at 11:50 am [Reply]

What kind of booze will they have at the wake?

I hope there’s lots.
tefflan
September 25th, 2006 at 11:54 am [Reply]

I’ve been tearing up the internet, driving myself crazy, scanning and skimming the comics from Houston to Seattle, but…CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHICH DAY OF MARY WORTH shows TOBY’S CAMEL TOE? Arghhh! Help, please help! Believe me, I have a life! And trying to find Toby’s camel toe is wrecking it! My wife is threatening me! My boss is about to fire me! All because of Toby’s camel toe! Where is it? Please, let me know…! Anyone…?
Islamorada Girl
September 25th, 2006 at 11:56 am [Reply]

Hardhearted Woman says: He needed killin’.

Hey it works in homicide trials in the south!
kingklash
September 25th, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

With all apologies to Curtis mayfield:

Aldo’s dead, thats what I said.
Let the man be a mystery till his life is history.
But Charterstone was a rope and he should’ve known.
Everybody’s misused him, intervention’d and refused him.
Another stalker man, elder grope was his plan.
A terrible blow, cliff-driving down below.
An Aldo’s in the bushes now.
If you wanna be a stalker wow.
Remember Aldo’s dead.
We’re all built up with bowties
But sometimes I must platitudinize.
We can deal with chinbeards and dreams
But Johnny, what does it mean?
Ain’t nothing said, cause Aldo’s dead.
Hey Hey-Love Love-Ha Ha-Love Love-He Hey-Ha Ha-Yeh Yeh Aldos dead
All I want is some piece of cake
With a little love i’m trying to take.
This could be such a Santa Royale world, with a geriatric girl.
I need a silver-haired child. Don’t wanna be like Aldo now.
Cause Aldo’s dead
Everybody’s misused him, intervention’d and refused him.
Another stalker man, elder grope was his plan.
An Aldo’s in the bushes now.
If you wanna be a stalker why, remember Aldo’s dead.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Aldo’s dead
Hey Hey – Ha Ha – Love Love – Ha Ha

I rub my hands in tribute, AldoMan.
All casserole are at half-mast today.
Cornwhacker
September 25th, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

I am still unsure as to why someone would DRAW one in a comic? It boggles the mind. I thought it was just an unfortunate accident of too-tight pants, not something an â€œartistâ€ would aspire to draw on one of their charactersâ€¦why?

I don’t get the appeal either, but there are entire subgenres of manga devoted to that stuff.
Drakee
September 25th, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Wow. Remember the last MW plot? When that old couple was having problems because the wife liked to exercise, and the husband didn’t? And then Mary helped them, and now they take walks and eat salads together?

This plot is a lot more exciting. Thank you Aldo, for everything.
Mainspark
September 25th, 2006 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

Aldo: I’m glad the loser bought it.
JonO
September 25th, 2006 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

I think the promised “dramatic wallop” is yet to come. With Toby’s flat affect over the weekend and her poorly-feigned horror today… Toby is obviously a serial murderer or a super villain. It’s clearly all part of a Frank-Miller’s-run-on-Daredevil-like machination to destroy the Kelrasts and all they love. Or perhaps Mary. It’s unclear at this point who the real target is. See? Drama.
John C Fremont
September 25th, 2006 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

Just a few things;

1) Angry Black Woman, your video almost made me cry. Thank you!

2) I’m afraid there is not only a Cameltoe.com, but also a Cameltoe.org – among way too many other related sites.

3) Bowie was a MTH fan. He wrote the song and gave it to MTH. Aldo, dead dude? Funny!

4) Aldo Kelrast is alive and well, and lives in Fremont, Nebraska. I’ve seen him. But come to think of it, I haven’t seen him since Saturday. Hmm…
blakebonics
September 25th, 2006 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

Has it been proven that Mary never had the hots for Aldo? She uses the same tactics to flirt with him that she does with Dr. Jeff – stone-cold vaginal rejection and condescending, inappropriate tropes.

I’m just impressed that she took him out without waiting for the Dr. to return. Brava, Mary.
Philly
September 25th, 2006 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

Hey, everybody thought Bobby Ewing was dead – little did we know. I say this is all in Mary’s twisted dream world. Tomorrow’s first panel will be Aldo walking into the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel, and Mary in bed exclaiming, “Aldo?!?”
Erich
September 25th, 2006 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

132 (teflan): The camel toe is in the first panel of the 9/25 strip, at the top of today’s post.

(Hmm…wouldn’t it be great to see a Slylock Fox where one of the differences between the panels involves a camel toe?)
Zikar
September 25th, 2006 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

Snif…snif…ZIKAR SAD!!!!!!
Concerned Citizen
September 25th, 2006 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

Damn it, Mary! Would just one night of riding Aldo’s Capt. Kangaroo tickler been too much to ask? Or maybe you don’t swing that way. Does Toby’s oversized camel toe do more for you?

Damn, I know I shouldn’t have mentioned the camel toe…sob…

Call Mary the Crimson Tramp,
And call Aldo Deacon Blues.
Merdz
September 25th, 2006 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

Josh, I was wondering if I could put in a special request for Charterstone sweatsuits in your store. You know, skin tight, all one color, really accentuating the shape of your loins. I’ll keep an eye out.

Kudos, Jonnya and ABW.

I’m really shuddering to think about how this is going to play out. Do you think Mary is going to dress down her friends for their intervention? After helping set it up? That would be great.
Krazy Kat
September 25th, 2006 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

No, Ms. Worth, you misunderstood the officer. He said he’s DEAD DRUNK, and screamin’ about how somebody named Mary Worth ruined his life, so we called you. He’s down at the station if you want to come and pick him up.
Craigers
September 25th, 2006 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Wow. Remember the last MW plot? When that old couple was having problems because the wife liked to exercise, and the husband didnâ€™t? And then Mary helped them, and now they take walks and eat salads together?

This plot is a lot more exciting.

Do you not remember how that last plot ended, where they died from diarrhea-related dehydration and exhaustion from eating contaminated spinach on a long wilderness hike?

Seriously, do you think it’s coincidence that everyone who crosses Mary’s path ends up dead or in jail, or is forced to flee Santa Royale for their lives?
Craigers
September 25th, 2006 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

106 Rich : Seriously. SF is getting out of control with this… I think Ted’s swishing is actually starting to rub off on me, it’s so blatant.

All hail Ted Forth, mincing queen of the comic strips!
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Awright, this is hasty — I AM at work, for heaven’s sakes. But y’uns are inspiring me. With apologies to Edna St. Vincent Millay… ahem…

Be to him, O Mary Worth,
Everything he’s lost on Earth.
Cradle him against your girth.
He who lay down at your feet
(How his taste provoked our mirth!)
Has gone to that bleak void, that dearth –
And NOW of course you think he’s sweet.
You evil harpy, Mary Worth!
How we cardinals rue your birth!
Say to him, “O Aldo, dear,
How I miss your mustached leer!”
Zikar
September 25th, 2006 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Maybe it’s just me…but MW better come up with something good, nay, brilliant, before I fly down and give them a taste of what a real stalker is like!!

Aldomania, alas, you are gone too soon…
AppleGirl
September 25th, 2006 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

Jonnya – A brilliant and perfect tribute. Love the Marys in the bottles and all the characters falling down the cliff with him.

Angry Black Woman – A brilliant and perfect tribute. Thank you for memorializing Aldo’s sweet yet creepy side. All the good times.

I am moved to laughter and tears over both of these videos.

Farewell, Aldo.
Gone to a better place where there’s never any naysayers.
mere cog in the machine
September 25th, 2006 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

Call me crazy, but I love today’s ‘Curtis’. The way that the giant piece of broccoli gets even larger from panel to panel is a great touch.
Propaniac
September 25th, 2006 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Josh, will you be releasing any “Aldo Lives!” merchandise? Because I NEED a bumper sticker to memorialize the greatest comics storyline ever.
NotThatGuy
September 25th, 2006 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

I’m bitter. Who knew I’d wake up to a world without Aldo (but with great video plus poetry knock-offs, okay, there’s a silver lining)?
tefflan
September 25th, 2006 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Good God…
DrBear
September 25th, 2006 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Jim Carroll finally woke up and sent this…

Aldo fell for Mary in a great big way
All she’d say is talk to the hand,
Aldo wouldn’t leave cuz he wanted to say
But things never go as planned
They had an intervention and made him cry
But he didn’t cry…he died!

It was Aldo who died, who died
It was Aldo who died, who died
He’s her stalker friend, and he died….
SmartPeopleOnIce
September 25th, 2006 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Apologies if someone already pointed this out:

More cliff diving, mule!”
stevedogg
September 25th, 2006 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

hmm, i wonder what platitudes mary will find comfort in- “he’s with his wife now”? “he’s in a better place (not that anyplace is as good as charterstone, but that only applies to lease-holding tenants)”?

perhaps aldo’s recovered copy of chicken soup for the stalker’s soul will provide her with some insight.
cheech wizard
September 25th, 2006 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

Aldo, we hardly knew ye…

But then, a little goes a long way.
MGArchitect
September 25th, 2006 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

JonnyA and ABW:

Brilliant. Just Brilliant. You both made my day and made my mourning for Aldo less painful.
Junior Tracy
September 25th, 2006 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

#90 – Poteet is right. I expect – and indeed look forward to – some distant Kelrast relative (with the traditional Kelrast wierd first name) to come out of the woodwork, accompanied by a personal injury lawyer with three rows of teeth.
Brian Schlosser
September 25th, 2006 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

A little preview of
Flasshe
September 25th, 2006 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

J’ever notice how often alcohol is the villain in MW? After Aldo’s Crash and Rita’s Smashing of the Swans, I’m beginning to think that Karen Moy is using this strip to work out her Adult Children of Alcoholics issues. I’m fearing that in the next storyline (or perhaps in the promised “double surprise” ending of this one), our President W will show up with a bottle in hand and the whole thing will end with nucular armageddon or an ill-conceived US military foray into Canada.
Brian Schlosser
September 25th, 2006 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

Oops. That was supposed to be a link :
treedweller
September 25th, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

People, people, this is MW we’re talking about. The intervention was the “dramatic wallop,” and the car crash was the huge surprise. Never mind that we were all predicting it for weeks, this is what passes for shocking developments in Santa Royale. Before they decided to go for a big shock, the authors ended the story with Aldo waving goodbye to MW’s neighbor (his relative) and returning to wherever it was he came from, and MW packing him a slab of tuna casserole and some apple cake for the trip.

I hate to be the bearer of this sad news. I will miss Aldo as much as anyone. But it is time to accept the facts and move on. The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. As soon as we get beyond denial, we can focus our rage and determine the best way to get revenge on the artists for taking him from us. The rest can wait.
Fred P.
September 25th, 2006 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

It appears that the dog days of summer are giving way to the doggerel days of autumn…
Brian Schlosser
September 25th, 2006 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

And it still didn’t work. One more time:

Dawn of the Aldo
Ennui, Willie Keeler
September 25th, 2006 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

Wasn’t the Charterstone interevention at night? Yet it seems like Aldo crashed his car in the daytime. I don’t come here every day, so I’m sorry if this has been discussed before. I got off in the wrong foot here, when my first post compared Aldo to some children’s TV host.
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

Dagnabbit. My final line ought to’ve been

“I sorely miss your mustached leer!”

I didn’t mean to overuse that “How ” construction the way I did :-(

Work is BORING! More posthumous Aldomania, mule!
Jmofwiw
September 25th, 2006 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

I see a T-Shirt…no, millions of T-shirts…featuring Aldo gazing into the distance just like Che. With the caption “Man’s inner life’s a mystery, and if drinking’s involved, his outer life’s history!”
smacky
September 25th, 2006 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

I can only hope the the huge outpouring of grief over the “death” of Aldo makes the creative minds behind Mary Worth take note. (It could happen. Curmudgeon made Newsweek, for heaven’s sake!)

Even Anakin Skywalker got to say a proper goodbye to Luke before he passed over. At least allow Aldo a bandaged-covered final moment with Mary. A chance to apologize and die like the manly man he is. Don’t let his final moments be “drunk after openly weeping in front of Mary’s friends.” Even the most diehard alcoholics have more quiet dignity than this.
Uncle Lumpy
September 25th, 2006 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

A propos #165 Treedweller, this item recycled from the 2004 death of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross:

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross died â€“
At least thatâ€™s what the papers implied.
But letâ€™s not feel bereft â€“
Weâ€™ve got five more steps left
If we use her own book as a guide:

First Denial will claim, â€œItâ€™s not so!â€
Then blind Anger will make fuses blow.
But when Bargaining ceases,
Depression decreases,
And Acceptance says, â€œLet it all go!â€
Jmofwiw
September 25th, 2006 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

Wasn’t the intervention cruel enough?

Did they really need to cut Aldo’s brake lines?
Islamorada Girl
September 25th, 2006 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

WWAD?

What would Aldo do?
yellojkt
September 25th, 2006 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

abw,

A beautiful tribute.

Bob Braughler aka Smitty Smedlap has done an Aldo tribute on his blog as well.

The world unites and mourns.
Hogenmogen
September 25th, 2006 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

#112 – Angry Black Woman – I looked at Washpost, and couldn’t find any Sundays. How’d ya do that?

Anyway, now the gap in the A3G story line has been filled in… Well, in the A3G Universe, “filled in” means that you understand the plot enough to realize there are major holes, versus before I was filled in, and my brain was spinning inside my skull like I just took twelve hits of acid. Plot holes inlcude (but are not limited to):

11:15 is not a time to go out for breakfast. McDonald’s breakfast line stops at 11:00 AM sharp, Eric.

Margo (Sunday) “I’m still angry!”
Margo (Monday) all smiles.

I really loved the completely unnecessary caption in panel 3 “Margo has a meeting with Eric Mills.” Well, Duh. Directly underneath the caption is Margo herself explaining to Eric Mills that they had a meeting.

Eric Mills really talked about fern paintings with Luann for over an hour? Hmmm…. maybe they weren’t talking.

If I wanted to nit pick more, I’d comment on the picture on the right from panel 3 moving to another wall in panel 4, or the way that Eric Mills serves in panel 5 and 6 as the dividing line between light and complete darkness. Maybe that’s symbolic. He’s trying to have a menage with Luann, Princess of Sunshine and Margo, Queen of Darkness. It is also written that Eric Mills shall bring balance to the Force, too.
yellojkt
September 25th, 2006 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

Connie Duncan (Zit’s mom) is also prone to cameltoe. I would search harder for an example, but that’s not the thing I like in my history file.
Desoto
September 25th, 2006 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

For God’s sake if a mustached stalker had to be offed, why couldn’t it have been (Gr)Anthony instead of Aldo?
At least Aldo was creepily funny, (Gr)Anthony is just plain creepy.
Hogenmogen
September 25th, 2006 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Here’s what I would like to see in MW’s future: A huge funeral with hundreds of people. Each gets up and talks fondly of how Aldo was a very rich philanthropist and gave to the poor. He made his millions from developing a new “regiment” of antibiotics that was able to turn a case of JRA into nothing more serious than a bump on the knee. He was a teaching doctor, and his patients and students stand up one by one and say things like

“He saved my life.”

“Our orphanage was on the brink of bankrupcy. We didn’t know where else to turn. Then Aldo’s checks started rolling in…”

“He taught me the most important lesson of all… How to believe in myself!”

“There’s Mary Worth – the woman who killed him.”
Gershwin
September 25th, 2006 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

Craigers wrote: “Seriously, do you think itâ€™s coincidence that everyone who crosses Maryâ€™s path ends up dead or in jail, or is forced to flee Santa Royale for their lives?”

I think Jessica Fletcher (of “Murder, She Wrote”) still holds the record for greatest number of murdered or troubled associates.
Mibbitmaker
September 25th, 2006 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

(Looking through Mad comics reprints for poem to parody…. “Wreck of the Hesperus”…hmmm… “Wreck of the Kelderast”! No…… AHA!! “Casey at the Bat”! just the ending, though…)

Oh, somewhere in this comics page
Ol’ Margo bobbles right,
Mallard’s pontificating,
Mark Trail spoils for a fight;
In Charterstone they’re meddl’ing,
and somewhere biddies pout,
But there is no joy in Curmud’sville -
Aldo Kelrast has struck out!

(I’m no Uncle Lumpy, either, but it’ll do)

Yes, the mocker’s lot is not an easy one. The MST3K Satellite of Love had Megaweapon, we have Aldo.
srah
September 25th, 2006 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

Darnit, all that typing on the last post and now I read this beautiful poem. Please put it on a t-shirt. Please put everything on a t-shirt. Nothing but commemorative t-shirts can ease our collective sorrow!
Lionel Hutz
September 25th, 2006 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Wallace Stevens is fine for some, I suppose, but maybe Aldo deserves something less.

Higgledy Piggledy
Aldo goes overboard!
End of an era or
Coming rebirth?
Let us not hope Aldo
Finds resurrection, but
Phantasmagorically
Haunts Mary Worth.
benro
September 25th, 2006 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

I offer this bumpersticker design
GotFuzzy
September 25th, 2006 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

I knew I could come here and find something to ease my troubled soul on this sad, sad day. But the bounty of poems, songs, remembrances and especially the video tributes from jonnya and Angry Black Woman are more than I could ask for.

Good night, sweet Cap’n, and draughts of Johnny sing thee to thy rest.
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

Lionel Hutz contributes a double dactyl! Yay, Lionel Hutz — I LOVE those :-)
Future Cat Lady
September 25th, 2006 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

180. I seriously believe that Angela Lansbury should play Mary Worth in a mini-series. It would be on Oxygen and be on right before Talk Sex with Sue on sundays.
Jen
September 25th, 2006 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

I can’t face the day. What will I do tomorrow? I had finally found meaning in my life, and now this? Aldo’s shining face brought me joy and strength. He taught me how to keep reaching for the stars when all seemed bleak….Oh…..*sob *sob
David C
September 25th, 2006 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

21 – …not only a resolution within 60 days with a â€œdramatic wallopâ€, but also another huge surprise! Who wants to place guesses as to what that might entail?

Aldo will continue to be an ongoing Mary Worth cast member, despite his death! He’ll become a ghost, like the Smiling Dead Grandparents of Family Circus, offering occasional wry, drunken observations at the antics of Charterstone’s living residents.
Craigers
September 25th, 2006 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

#180… not for nothing was she known as the Black Widow of Cabot Cove.
CorkySue
September 25th, 2006 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Aldo can’t be dead . . . I don’t believe it!

#184 benro- thank you!
Sandbag
September 25th, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

40-ounce pours slow
Aldo Kelrast not really dead
lives on in our heart
ohyes
September 25th, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

Well, the camel toe is relevant. It’s so obvious because the lady is engorged with excitement at the news. In the second panel, she’s nearly overwhelmed with the tingly feelings.
Concerned Citizen
September 25th, 2006 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

187 – She was great in Manchurian Candidate. She could bring a little of that cold-blooded incestuous bitchiness to the role. Or she could try to solve Aldo’s murder with a town full of loveable dimwitted pasteurized yokels. Not too tricky considering she’s the prime suspect.
Ian Cameron, Ph.D.
September 25th, 2006 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

Hey Sniviling Aldoholics:
We live in a comic world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by interventionists with platitudes. Who’s gonna do it? You, Angry Black Woman? You, Josh?! I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Aldo and you curse Toby and Wilbur. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Aldo’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me at interventions! You need me at interventions! We use words like , Captian Kangaroo, platitiude and swans. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to those who rise and sleep under the blanket of the very comic enjoyment that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said, “Thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you move to Charterstone and marry a woman too young for you. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
angry black woman
September 25th, 2006 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

For the Aldo-haters (I know you guys are out there!) I have taken procrastination to new levels with this video: Aldo: A Look Back in Anger (AppleGirl, there’s some Toby hate in there, too)

Hogenmogen : for sundays you have to hack it. Just go to any recent date, then look in the URL – the date is in there, 060922 or whatever – and change the date to a Sunday, the feature shows up. Dunno why they do that.

Kudos to the folks on the forum who taught me that trick :)

Also, I want to see that funeral scene, too.

Jessica from Murder, She Wrote was the best character ever. Seriously. She killed hundreds of people and got away with it by making others think THEY did it. genius.

Landsbury probably could have (and should have) played Mary Worth back in the early 90’s. it would have been perfect for her coming off of MSW, cuz that show was also all about a meddling busybody elder, only Jessica meddled and got people killed ded.

However, Angela is a bit too old now, methinks. She’s just as sharp as ever, but her body is winding down (from what I’ve seen).
Q.N. Jones
September 25th, 2006 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Visit, read, comment:

mary-worth.blogspot.com

Mary could really use your support right about now.
ratsonjulia
September 25th, 2006 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

This is an excellent chance for a spin-off:

Imagine the complete, unedited dialogue inside Aldo’s car in the moments before impact:

Aldo: â€œIt looks good at NASA One.â€

“Johnny”: â€œRoger. BCS arm switch is on.â€

Aldo: â€œOkay, Victor.â€

“Johnny”: â€œLanding rocket arm switch is on.â€

Aldo: â€œHere comes the throttle. Circuit breakers in.â€

Aldo: â€œWe have separation.â€

“Johnny”: â€œRoger.â€

Dashboard Jesus: â€œInboard and outboards are on.â€

Aldo: â€œIâ€™m cominâ€™ forward with the sidestick.â€

Suction-cup Garfield: â€œAll looks good.â€

Pine-tree Air-freshener: â€œAh, roger.â€

Aldo: â€œIâ€™ve got a blowoutâ€”damper three!â€

Dancing Hula girl: â€œGet your pitch to zero.â€

Aldo: â€œPitch is out! I canâ€™t hold altitude! Oh NO!â€

Burger King Wrapper: â€œCorrection, alpha hold is off, trip selectorsâ€”Emergency!â€

Aldo: â€œFlight Com! I canâ€™t hold it! Sheâ€™s breaking up, sheâ€™s breakâ€”â€

–Later that day:

â€œAldo Kelrast: Stalker. A man barely alive.â€

Ted Forth: â€œGentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the worldâ€™s first bionic man. Aldo Kelrast will be that man. Better than he was before. Betterâ€¦strongerâ€¦faster.â€

(Did I mention that Ted Forth is actually a top secret government operative?)
ohyes
September 25th, 2006 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

angry black woman (196) – Thank you for the tip about Sunday comics archives. Now I can go back to Sept. 17 and see Tommie smiling and looking great in a miniskirt. It wasn’t a dream!

You’ve done so much today. Aldo’s death has only made you stronger.
Sjofn
September 25th, 2006 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

How could they? How?

Today I actually asked my friends in IRC if anyone had been keeping up with Mary Worth, because I needed a hug after this latest development. People now know I freaking read Mary Worth.

I’ll never forgive you, Ian and Toby. You did this to me!
Marc
September 25th, 2006 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

Toby is one of those split personalities: Mrs.WASP and Mrs. Bitch.

The second panel can be interpreted in several ways:

The nice way: Toby is very sincere, misses a man who she deeply loathes.

The Real Way: “I better show this old hag that I actually care! This woman is crying for godsakes!! I better show my WASPy ness and show how I appear to miss Aldo, when in fact, I’m trying to point out something obvious.
Jmofwiw
September 25th, 2006 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

The August 27th Mary Worth seems so sinister now in retrospect! Toby said, “It may be more than an idea, Mary. It may be a PLAN!” with such malice on her face. This is exactly what she hoped would happen, isn’t it?
Isaac
September 25th, 2006 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

My… god.

However, I will simply leave it at that instead of making a joke other readers have, say, 200 times.
Weasel Boy
September 25th, 2006 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

#45: Iâ€™m sure Aldo had hastily written a note to her as he fell off the cliff with his arm over his eyes.

When all else fails, read the Cliff Notes.
Mooncity
September 25th, 2006 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

These Aldomania videos… what can I say, but they are AWESOME!
Marion Delgado
September 25th, 2006 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

Well, the former Mrs. Kelrast is avenged at last. My only regret – Mary wasn’t able to drain him first then put the body in the car and send it tumbling off the rail.

Waste not, want not.
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

You know, that whole thread about the late Mrs. Kelrast just kinda got dropped. Will we circle back to it? Will the cops find her mummified body in Aldo’s apartment? I sure hope so!
Lisa
September 25th, 2006 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

I still say that he’s going to haunt Mary and they’ll have to have some sort of exorcism.

Aldo can’t be gone!!! What will we do without him?
kylegirl
September 25th, 2006 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

OK, I had to add a pome of my own:

In Charterstone the roses blow
Between the condos row on row,
All meddler-filled; while through the sky
His car, still soaked with whiskey, flies
Scarce heard amid the swans below.

Now he is Dead. Short days ago
We read, and laughed at camel toe,
Hoped and made mock, but he has gone
From Charterstone.

Make interventions with the foe:
Tell him to leave your friend alone
And go; you know heâ€™s probably high.
And donâ€™t forget his wife did die
So long ago, before he came
To Charterstone.
Cornwhacker
September 25th, 2006 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

Toby CAMeron + ALDO = Camaldo.

That’s the proper spelling from now on. A fitting tribute, I think.
Marion Delgado
September 25th, 2006 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth, vampiress, is also a drama queen. Her “friends” took advantage of this to do her out of a sex and biting night on the town.

Like many other couples, they’re c***-blockers.
Blueline
September 25th, 2006 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

What a smug and unapologetic look on Toby’s face there. She’s practically smiling with glee. Mary may be a meddler, but Toby is a cold-hearted bitch.

(It doesn’t help that the only Toby I’ve ever known in real life was a real bitch, that is, she was a dog – four legs, fur, all that jazz.)
briantologist
September 25th, 2006 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Addendum to #198:

“We can rebuild him. Faster … stronger … drunker.”
Krazy Kat
September 25th, 2006 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

I’ve got to agree with Randy in 46
We only saw Aldo through Mary’s POV. I’d like to see the other Charterstone resident’s take on events. What about the guys he played poker with on Thursdays –”…all he ever talked about was what a fine woman Mary Worth was.” What about his cousin, to whom he gave a kidney, who was grateful enough to let him use his condo. I think we are going to see an outpouring of grief from people who know the real Aldo–and an outpouring of retribution on the little clique of holier-than-thou do-gooders who think they can beat up on good folks like Mr. Kelrast.
Marion Delgado
September 25th, 2006 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

If being in the funny papers means you should make someone laugh out loud, today’s mary worth did the trick. Keeper.
BrianC
September 25th, 2006 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Do you think they’ll show the body?
LaughingOnTheInside
September 25th, 2006 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

So a depressed man, emphatically rejected by all the friends he has in the world, turns to booze as his only companion which causes him to drive off a cliff and is killed. They call this the “Funny Papers?” My laughter, on the inside, is a mystery.
mcmc
September 25th, 2006 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

The police are calling because they have found the secret diary in which Aldo confessed to the murder of his wife and detailed his plan to do away with Mary Worth. I bet.
Old Fogeyette
September 25th, 2006 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

I just have to thank Jonnya and Angry Black Woman for their incredibly moving and hilarious tributes. Jonnya–great touch to add Molly.
Harry Mirth
September 25th, 2006 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

Sigh.

Alpo is dead.

Let’s move on.

There is a world of comics to snark at, MW is just one little bit of the curmudgeonly world.
Gracie287
September 25th, 2006 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

jonnya, ABW: I know it’s been said a million times already, but thanks so much for the touching tributes. You’ve made this Black Monday a little bit brighter for so many of us Aldomaniacs.
Wisconsin
September 25th, 2006 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

For Aldo:

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Buick held but just ourselves
And Johnny Walker Green.

I drove quite fast — one handed for
I had to put away
My bowtie, and my bowlcut too,
For the sayers of nay –

We passed the Charterstone, and
Mary — ah, for she’s not mine –
We passed the outskirts of the town –
We passed the steep ravine –

Or rather — it passed us –
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For gossamer my mustache now –
My tippet polyester –

We paused before a car that seemed
A swelling of the ground –
The roof was scarcely visible –
And I, Oh No… a mound –

Since then — ’tis centuries, and yet
Feels shorter than the day
They took four weeks to serialize
in the life of Mary –
lascauxcaveman
September 25th, 2006 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

#195 — Wow.

If they ever make a movie with Angela Lansbury as Mary Worth, I’m pretty sure they won’t be using Jack Nicholson as the Chinbeard.

(Not that that wouldn’t be completely awasome)
frippy
September 25th, 2006 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

I’m glad to see that Elton John is already on top of this:

Goodbye Aldo K.
May you stalk the angels now
You looked like Captain Kangaroo
And wore a red bow-tie
You saw a red-hot widow
And you whispered from the shrubs
“She looks just like Elise!”
But she had a different name

It seems to us you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Always turning to the bottle
When the blame came in
And we wish Mary had loved you
But she chose Doctor Jeff
Your candle’s burned out long before
Your legacy has left

Interventions suck
Moderated by trophy wives
And blowhard professors
And weenie advice columnists
And even when you cried
Mary sat there like a shrew
All the bloggers had to ask
“What is Aldo Kelrast going to do?”

And it seems to us you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Clinging to Johnny Walker
Up until the end
And we wish Caltrans had put
Some guardrails on that cliff
Your engine flamed out long before
Your legacy has left

Goodbye Load Stalker
May you please come back again
As a zombie or a chunky ghost
In a spectral polo shirt
Goodbye Aldo K.
From newfound readers of Mary Worth
Who’ll miss your delicious pursuits
More than Mary ever would

‘Cause it seems to us you lived your life
Like a candle in a jar
Getting heartbroke and intoxicated
In your big blue car
And we wish you hadn’t fallen
To Charterstone’s rumor mill
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever will
OohShiny
September 25th, 2006 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

He’s not really dead, as long as we remember him.
anne
September 25th, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

This has nothing to do with today’s wretched events, but it must be posted:

http://www.supermasterpiece.com/marmaduke/

It’s The Marmaduke Project, with some nice parodies. My favorite is “New Captions”.
frigg
September 25th, 2006 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

The outpouring of grief today is greatly mitigated by the outpouring of sheer creativity on the part of our humble, bereaved little community.

Though crippled with misery, I’ve managed to sustain myself by remembering our dear, sweet Aldo Kelrast as he was during life: bow-tied, bowl-cutted and persistent.

Fellow mourners, jonnya and angry black woman, your lovely video tributes provide me much solace.

To our countless talented wordsmiths, your stirring verse etches Aldo’s memory forever onto my heart, like a bow-tie tattoo, but internally. Ya know…like right ON my heart, not on the skin outside my chest where my heart is.

Farewll Aldo.
DrBear
September 25th, 2006 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

It may have been mentioned here before – I’m lazy, of course – but if you search for “Aldo Kelrast” at Wikipedia, it refers to the Mary Worth page.

Together for cybereternity, which should last about five weeks.
Paul James
September 25th, 2006 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

On another subject,
Rex Morgan: So many gripes with this comic….what thief is working the zoo to do his stealing, and wearing San Diego Chargers sweatshirt while at it!
Why are they taking the tram? They are all young, WALK!!!
Finally, is this little girl an alien? Last panel…I mean come on.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/rexmorgan.asp?date=20060913
2fs
September 25th, 2006 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

#186: “double dactyl”? Is that the technical term for “cameltoe”?
big_old_geek
September 25th, 2006 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Hey, did you guys notice the corpse of Aldo looks like the corpse of Captain Kangaoo?! Wow!
frippy
September 25th, 2006 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

#231: Or that his name can be anagrammed to spell L.L. Roadsteak?
Dan Coyle
September 25th, 2006 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

“Oh no! Right after our intervention!”

Fun Variants:

“Oh no! Right after I told him he was a loser and an overgrown child!”

“Oh no! Right after I fired a bullet into his skull!”

“Oh no! Right after I told him I wished he was dead!”

“Oh no! Right after I said I hoped he’d die in a car crash!”
benro
September 25th, 2006 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

More information about Aldo Kelrast can be found on the internet (I heard the song on CC, but I don’t remember seeing a link to the web site).
Anonymous
September 25th, 2006 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

#224 (frippy) Outstanding!…but might I change a verse?:

Even when you died
The blogs wouldn’t let you go
All joshreads had to say
Was: don’t talk about Toby’s cameltoe.

- spoi
Pope Buck I
September 25th, 2006 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

Aldo will continue to be an ongoing Mary Worth cast member, despite his death! Heâ€™ll become a ghost, like the Smiling Dead Grandparents of Family Circus, offering occasional wry, drunken observations at the antics of Charterstoneâ€™s living residents.

And watching Mary as she dresses in the morning – let’s not leave out the best part.
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

I hate those stupid dead grandparents in FC! What the fuck are they WEARING? Some hack’s impression of biblical garb? WHY? What part of being dead means you have to prance around in a bathrobe, a rope, and flipflops for all eternity???
Deckard Canine
September 25th, 2006 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember how
That mustache used to make me smile.
And I knew that if he had a chance,
That he could get some sweet romance,
And maybe theyâ€™d be happy for a while.

But late September made me shiver,
With every paper Iâ€™d deliver,
Bad news on the doorstep…
I couldnâ€™t take one more step.
I canâ€™t remember if I cried
When I read heâ€™d joined his Worth-like bride,
But something touched me deep inside,
The day the stalking died.

So…
Bye, bye, Mr. Mary Worth Guy.
Drove his Honda off to yonder, sailing into the sky.
The good old boy was drinkinâ€™ whiskey, not rye,
Singinâ€™ â€œThisâ€™ll be the day that I die,
Thisâ€™ll be the day that I die….â€
mrsalemp
September 25th, 2006 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

Poor Aldo – if only your myspace friends had been invited to that “intervention”, maybe things could have ended differently. Can anyone watch Angry Black Woman’s memorial video and not feel bad for him? Poor guy just wanted to be Mary’s boytoy (a creepy one, but still – she’s not much of a catch and beggers can’t be choosers)
Flealick
September 25th, 2006 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Aldo was subletting the apartment for the Summer, right? So his cousin should be back any day now, no? I can just imagine how the next Charterstone pool party might be a tad awkward…

“Thanks, Mary, for watering the ficus for me while I was away. Shame you had to drive good ol’ Aldo to his death. No, I don’t blame you at all, group humiliation of a lonely drunkard who couldn’t even piggyback on the love felt for a beloved children’s entertainer to find happiness in this world–It must have seemed like a great plan at the time. I mean, it’s not like you knew the role alcohol played in the death of his wife. Oh, you DID know…I see…”

What I’m really waiting for, though, is Aldo’s spin-off prequel strip. The events leading up to the death of his wife. It’ll be like the Lockhorns, only instead of strongly suspecting it, this time we’ll know the wife’s getting offed eventually.
treedweller
September 25th, 2006 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

I’ve been inspired to write a children’s alphabet book–Who wants to illustrate?

A is for Aldo,
A man they called Kelrast.
B is for Booze
And he drank it too fast.
C is for Cliff
And he drove right off.
D is for Dead,
With scarcely a cough.
E is for Eager,
Too eager to see her.
F is for Fury
Which he would not hear.
G is for Gullible.
He walked into it.
H is for Hope
That led him to do it.
I for Intervention
To stop his pursuit
J is for Johnny
Who made his pain moot.
K is for Kisses
Thatâ€™s all Aldo wanted
L is for Longing
Which Prof Ian taunted.
M is for Mary
Who Aldo did haunt.
N is for Neighbor
The kind you donâ€™t want.
O is for Obvious
We saw it coming
P is for Pathos
For Aldoâ€™s sad slumming
Q is for Quisling.
She turned on poor Aldo!
R for Regret,
As she watched him go.
S is for Stalker.
He moved like a phantom.
T is for Toby,
Who turned her against him.
U is for Undead.
As we hope heâ€™ll be.
V for the Vengeance
That Mary should see.
W for Wilbur.
His was a small part.
X is for Xylophone–
They played his heart!
Y is for Yummy.
His losses, our gains!
Z is for Zombie
Heâ€™ll eat Maryâ€™s brains.
SmartPeopleOnIce
September 25th, 2006 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

Ya know, if Joe Giella and/or Karen Moy ever stumbled across this blog, I’m betting the first question they would ask is: What the HELL is a “cameltoe”?
2fs
September 25th, 2006 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

#240: “Like the Lockhorns”? Take a look at Leroy Lockhorn. Allow for the change in drawing style…give him a fake Captain Kangaroo wig, a fake gingery mustache, send him snooping around Charterstone Loretta won’t suspect…comics crossover time! Just watch: the next Lockhorns will feature Loretta, in curlers and robe, holding a frying pan, up late waiting for Leroy to arrive home in a drunken stupor and full of lame excuses…and instead, there’s a cop at the door: “Mrs. Loretta Lockhorn? I’m afraid I have some unfortunate news for you… Your husband, Leroy, is dead!” Pure joy wells up in Loretta – she does the Snoopy dance.
Zikar
September 25th, 2006 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

I must admit, I only started posting because of the hilarity of Aldomania. Other comics were distractions on Aldoless days. My muse has shuffled off this mortal coil, and I wonder if I shall ever snark again.

I will be pouring a little of Aldo’s only friend, “Johnny”, onto the ground, but not until I see that body in the morgue, dammit! I refuse to believe this is the end until I see the ’stache in that rigor mortis of death.

Aldomania. More than a comic. It’s a way of life.
Anonymous
September 25th, 2006 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Aldo Kelrast death hits especially hard as he was the only character in the Worthiverse that had anything resembling ‘passion’ or ‘basic wants.’ His death is the final proof that in Charterstone simple human emotions are not only undesirable, but deadly.

Also, as the fourth character to fall off a cliff in the comics in the past month, and second to die, Aldo has brought attention to the terrible placment of cliffs in todays newspapers.
Future Cat Lady
September 25th, 2006 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

223. In order for Mary Worth; The Movie to be a block-buster it would require: a 90s Angela Landsbury as Mary, a late 80s Sean Connery as Chinbeard, Paris Hilton as Toby, and an 80s Robert Keeshan as Aldo.

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it ironic that the real Captain Kangaroo ( Robert Keeshan) is dead and now Aldo is too?
Zikar
September 25th, 2006 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

#245

No, emotions are great in Charterstone, but only certain ones. Snobishness, envy, greed, avarice, pride, etc. are ok. Lust, passion, love, or, *gasp* happiness, are right out. Unless it’s happiness at sending a man careening off a cliff in a drunken stupor. That’s fine, as long as you fake a little symapthy.

I’ll be waiting to see what happens tomorrow in MW. Who wants to start betting on how many days until the ineveitable pool party?
Rex Morgan, FOOB
September 25th, 2006 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

#207–what happened to Mrs. Keltrast? Obviously she was lured to an “intervention” at Charterstone.
Junior Tracy
September 25th, 2006 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

Perhaps Mary Worth, guilt-stricken over her heartlessness towards Aldo, and the role she undoubtedly played in his death, will realize what evil, Machiavellian horrors she’s visited on her “friends” and neighbors during her long residence at Charterstone. Remorseful for once in her life, she’ll commit suicide, and the strip will finally, blessedly fade to black.

Another possiblity is that various litigious Kelrasts sue her for intentional infliction of emotional distress, win, take possession of her Charterstone condo, whereupon she’s compelled to live, a la Rita, in the womens’ shelter.

I don’t see a downside.
Hardhearted Woman
September 25th, 2006 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

So we beat on, Aldos against the cliff,
borne ceaselessly back to our Mary
Heckler123
September 25th, 2006 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

Crap. I just loaned Aldo $250 bucks. And my Buick.
Craigers
September 25th, 2006 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

What part of being dead means you have to prance around in a bathrobe, a rope, and flipflops for all eternity???

Listen, when I’m dead and I can wear whatever the hell I want, you’re not taking my bathrobe and slippers away from me just because they’re hackneyed. Bathrobe, slippers, fur hat and massive codpiece.
treadwell
September 25th, 2006 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

That is not a camel toe! That’s just the creases in the fabric from pivoting the legs at the hip. A camel toe is when the fabric is hugging the labia, revealing the contours for all to enjoy. If you guys are seeing THAT, um, well, um…

…I wanna see, too.
Pansy
September 25th, 2006 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

I think Josh ought to assemble all the Aldo memorial poetry set forth herein and produce an educational pamphlet on the evils of drink — a “This Could Be YOU!” sort of thing. He might call it, “Aldo Kelrast’s Guide to Self-Destruction and Negligent Homicide”. It could be a companion volume to “Mary Worth’s Handbook of Sanctimonious Meddling for Early Retirees”. I’d buy them.
Lord Haw Haw
September 25th, 2006 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

As long as we’re talking camel toes, do you know what the male equivalent is called? A moose knuckle. No shiite.
MossMoses
September 25th, 2006 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth had to be vindicated after she scolded Toby for spreading the “half truths” of gossip but why did it need to end this way? Mary Worth was disingenuous from the start, the way she gave the sermonizing “half truth evils of gossip” lecture followed by “Whatcha got, Toby”? Then she made moves like giving Aldo a rose that really led him on. She never really made an honest effort to talk to Aldo, instead she just kept telling him to leave her alone. Then, worst of all, she agreed to use the hairbrained intervention scheme of her nosy, airhead neighbor. There’s a lot of guilt to spread around in Charterstone this sad day.
Flealick
September 25th, 2006 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

#243–Loretta doing the snoopy dance would be exciting, but I think her capacity for joy is deader than Aldo, and ain’t nothing gonna bring it back, not even the death of Leroy. After all, even if Leroy was Aldo, the joy of being free from that steel trap of a marriage would be offset by the notion that someone chose Mary Worth over you.

A quick look at Amazon makes to look like anthologies of Mary Worth have not been published in some time. I hope King Features is aware of the groundswell of interest in the plight of Aldo, and puts out a slim volume we can purchase to commemorate this magical summer of Aldomania.
treadwell
September 25th, 2006 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

(Josh or the spambot zapped this before, so it has been reworded to be less clinically descriptive. I’m afraid it isn’t as funny now.)

That is not a camel toe! A camel toe is when the subject is wearing a thin fabric without underwear and the material clings to her womanylogical contours. Similar to the wet t-shirt effect, but in the other area.
treadwell
September 25th, 2006 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

…crap, it had disappeared and then returned. Forgive my double posting.
dramashoes
September 25th, 2006 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

Because Aldo was wearing the magical amulet of Dorkmenistan when he died, and also because Charterstone just happens to be located above a Worthmouth, the center of mystical convergence, I predict Aldo will be resurrected as a really lame, overweight, morose, non-corporeal vampire. He will then contrive a way to hold Mary hostage, thus forcing Professor Cameron to find a way to make Aldo flesh again. Then, of course, it shall be revealed that Toby Cameron is the new Vampire Slayer, and… I should stop now, shouldn’t I?
Pendragon
September 25th, 2006 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

Oh my God, they killed Aldo!
YOU BASTARDS!
Dark Star
September 25th, 2006 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

#258 Well, if it’s not camel toe then it’s definitely Moose Knuckle.
Cheese!
September 25th, 2006 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

NOOOOO!!!!!
I need a hug.
comix
September 25th, 2006 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

Let me be the first to predict that Aldo is not dead and is, in fact, the person who placed the phone call to Mary. With a handkerchief on the receiver to disguise his voice. He will let her think he is dead, then ‘Auggh!’ show up to “haunt” charterstone. Just a theory
DarthWho
September 25th, 2006 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

I just started reading Mary Worth and am a newcomer to the glory of Aldomania. How disapointing to see it cut down just when I am starting to really enjoy it!
Papa
September 25th, 2006 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

The masterful “Aldo’s Blues” shows why Josh is the one, only, and irreplaceable Curmedgeon.
Jordon Harriman
September 25th, 2006 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

J’ever notice that you can always drink n’ drive and wallow in self pity, and sing along to the sad songs coming out of yer jalopy’s squawk box, for about an hour before ya drive over a cliff? Maybe Barfo (er, Aldo) shoulda checked his watch. Oh yeah, it happens every time!
Papa
September 25th, 2006 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

… un, Curmudgeon. D**n that two-faced friend, Johnny. *sniff*
Posthumorous
September 25th, 2006 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

You know, I can’t help but be reminded of another important literary character who met his demise by tumbling off a cliff: Sherlock Holmes. And, if you recall, so many readers wrote letters to Arthur Conan Doyle that he eventually was forced to bring Sherlock Holmes back. Perhaps…perhaps if we all try really hard, Aldo will be brought back after all? *sniff*
pretend2benormal
September 25th, 2006 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Ya know what’s ironic?

My Aldomania shirt arrived today, the day Aldo DIES!

BTW, anyone think the ‘Cop’ is actually Aldo? How else would he know Mary’s number? Aside from the major plotholes and stupidity of the comic, I mean,
Meggie
September 25th, 2006 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

Maybe I’m in complete, utter denail, but I don’t think he’s really dead. I think this is just one of those CA-RAZY plot twists that those darn ‘ole comic writers always come up with.

Okay, maybe I’m just in utter denail.
Ubiq
September 25th, 2006 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

Put me down for Aldo still being alive.

The cop who shows up will be Aldo with a boombox. He’s going to strip his way into Mary’s heart!
Zen Doggies
September 25th, 2006 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

Cheese!, consider yourself hugged. This is way too difficult to do on your own. Maybe we should have a group hug here. (And talk about vomiting a little into your own mouth…)

Which of the Cardinals will give Aldo’s eulogy? Will Pope Josh say the funeral mass?

“For I have seen the eternal Footman offer me Johnny Walker Black, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.”
AwfulArt
September 25th, 2006 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

Roses are Red,
Aldo is Dead..
Violets are Blue,
Boo fucking Hoo…!!!
Sheila
September 25th, 2006 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

Re the elusive camel-toe: When I was a girl, many many moons ago, the phenomenon was referred to as “W-front” pants– or, alternatively, as trousers that “lift and separate.” I hope one of those is graphic enough for the youngsters who can’t quite visualize it…
Frank Drackman
September 25th, 2006 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

Thats very disturbing….
capâ€™n underpants
September 25th, 2006 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

I hate to have to point this out …but Toby’s “cameltoe” …isn’t.

She’s actually a Barbie!! – thus explaining the hip-hinges showing through her pants (and all her “fashionable” outfits).

It also explains how she can be the perfect trophy wife. She has no other function than to appear desireable …because Professor Platitude could never placate any of the “womanly needs” that a human wife would have.

….but I think he still likes her cold, plastic heart! – It matches his!
mumbles
September 25th, 2006 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

While searching – I kid you not – for news coverage of this tragedy on Google, I came across this:

http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/0605339.htm

A pretty interesting story about a professor who researches references to religion in comic strips (interesting stuff on “B.C” and the religion of Lovey Saltzman in FOOB.)

The best part however is the last lines of the article:

**
Although he says of the comics he reads daily that “they’re all great,” he likes “Frank & Ernest” a lot, mostly for the wordplay. Its creator, Bob Thaves, died in August, although his daughter will help continue the strip. Coaxed into naming one he doesn’t like, Greenspoon said, “I think most people would agree ‘Mary Worth’ is not great.”

**

Indeed.

Alas, poor Aldo. I knew him well, cumudgeons.
Doug Puthoff
September 25th, 2006 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

#118–Mr. Green Jeans is dead. But I hope his son, Ted Nugent, show’s up at Aldo’s funeral.
marnicolibri
September 25th, 2006 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

Honk if you like whiskey! is the best thing. Ever.

And I de-lurked to say that.
Ellie M.
September 25th, 2006 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

Whoa. Aldomania made the print media?! I had no idea.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/accent/content/accent/epaper/2006/08/17/a1e_maryworth1_0817.html
Proteus
September 25th, 2006 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

Do you people realize how long it takes to read 280 entries? This isn’t a blog, it’s a minor novel.

I did a little happy dance when I saw the word “dead” this morning, since it meant that I could stop following MW every day, which is a kind of embarassing thing to do.

But ABW’s awesome video made me realize how much we lost when Aldo fall down go boom. WHAT IF they kept Aldo around as a permanent character, always popping up and giving Mary the eye? Like a villiage idiot, he could add comic relief to one story line after another. He and Dr. Jeff would be “in conflict”, and that would spice things up (I mean, Jeff like totally takes Mary for granted!). We could wear our Aldo shirts, have parades, dress up Aldo for Halloween. He could become one of the most beloved characters since Pig Pen…

And then the little boy woke up
Von Zeppelin
September 25th, 2006 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

13 Krazy Kat–The Aldo Seder is a fitting memorial. In another idiom, I am organizing an Aldo Solemn Requiem Mass. In the dim, incense-filled cathedral, the choir chants in a chilling minor key: “Requiem aeternam dona Aldonem, Domine. . .” Black-and-white-clad Dominicans bear Aldo’s body, clad in grey shirt and red bowtie, to the candle-surrounded bier. (Or beer.) Mary tears at her garments, shrieking and ululating in her unbearable grief. Chinbeard, BBShell and Combover kneel in penance before the body of the martyr. Tears of anguish at the horror of their deed course down their cheeks, as the lash of penance is applied to their bared backs. The voices of the choir swell to a chilling crescendo: “Dies irae, dies illae solvet saecula in favilla. . .” The stone vaults return the echo of the archbishop’s final benediction, and the deacon’s words of dismissal: “Ite, missa est.” Then, only silence.

Then everyone goes down the road to the pub to hoist a jar or two together. I mean, c’mon. We’re talking about Captain Kangaroo here.
Aaron
September 25th, 2006 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

I, for one, cannot accept that Aldo is gone. His disturbingly tenacious fixation on Mary Worth would seem to foster the kind of obsession that could defy death itself. Donâ€™t be surprised if we see Aldoâ€™s ghost make a surprise appearance, all sobbing and clingy and dripping with ectoplasmic whiskey. Who you gonna call?
DaveyK
September 25th, 2006 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

In denial, I turn to Shakepeare for solace.

MARY WORTH
He was a man, take him for all in all,
I shall not look upon his like again.

TOBY
My lord, I think I saw him yesternight.

Perhaps, if we are very lucky, the last month has just been prologue to the start of a Mary Worth/Hamlet crossover with Aldo in the role of Hamlet’s father and which ends in a tale “of carnal, bloody, and unnatural acts, of accidental judgments, casual slaughters, of deaths put on by cunning and forced cause, and, in this upshot, purposes mistook fall’n on the inventors’ heads.”

When I arrive at acceptance, I borrow from Shakespeare to pay respects to the greatest anagramatic stalker I have ever known: “Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!”
frigg
September 25th, 2006 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

treedweller (#241)!!!

K is for Kisses
Thatâ€™s all Aldo wanted

Most. Bestest. Line. Evah.
mon-ma-tron
September 25th, 2006 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

I… but… that’s… was in Phoenix this weekend… no internet… didn’t know… the guy at the Dairy Queen with the… mustache… and bowl cut… nearly 300 comments… oh god…

I was only kidding…!

[ sob! ]
Zikar
September 25th, 2006 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

People who are true fans of Aldomania are obsessed with it, just like our hero Capt. Stalkeroo!

If you don’t understand that, you must be one of those naysayers that Stalky McStalker was trying so hard to get away from.

I feel your pain, Aldo, I feel your pain. We will obsess for you, and pour one out for all the drinks you can’t have any more, and maybe I’ll sleep with an old lady to honor your passing…

Erm, scratch that last one. Even I have a few standards. Still, Aldo is missed, and I, for one, will not be able to get over it at least until Josh’s next post, which I am sure will have a tonic to take the pain away.

If not, it’s back to my only friend, Johnny.
Bartleby
September 25th, 2006 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

I, too, only came back to reading Mary Worth for the awesomely goodness that was Aldomania. And now he’s gone.

Ah, Aldo, we hardly knew ye!
Andy
September 25th, 2006 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

â€œ’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.â€
Ohyes
September 25th, 2006 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

treadwell (258) – cap’n underpants (277) – Right click the strip and save it to your hard drive, then use the zoom function to see the picture larger. You’ll see, those are womanly attributes, engorged with excitement. (I’ve seen photos of that.)

Toby is experiencing the thrill of the kill.
fahrenheit451
September 25th, 2006 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

The poems…brilliant! The videos…stunning! If only the MW creators knew, they would’ve kept Aldo around for a few more weeks…
Hardhearted Woman
September 25th, 2006 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Out, out, brief stalker!
Life’s but a petty player
In Mary Worh, who
Struts and frets his six months
In the strip, then passes down
The dusty cliffs of time
To be heard from no more. . .
AhClem
September 25th, 2006 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Oh, man. I finally had a chance to view the videos (streaming media is blocked at work). Between the video, poetry and songs posted here, the amount of insane talent on this blog is truly frightening.

And I mean that in a good way.
Len
September 25th, 2006 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

#239 — Mary already HAD a boy-toy! The kindly Dr. Jeff, a wealthy DOCTOR, thank you, with no problems of alcoholism or rumors of wife-murder attached to him! And Dr. Jeff was so undemanding, he never bothered Mary (much) for nasty sexual companionship. In fact, Jeff was so uninterested, I suspect he’s gonna be more upset than Mary is at Aldo’s demise. “That cute Bear subletting the apartment is DEAD? But… but I LOVED him! We’d share a bottle of Johnny, and swap body fluids. Oh, no! Boo-hoo hoo!”

And Jeff gets Lio, the pre-teen mad scientist, to re-animate Aldo’s corpse!

Ev’ybody SING:
Hot patootie, bless my soul!
I really really want that dead man’s hole…
capâ€™n underpants
September 25th, 2006 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

Sorry, Ohyes (291), but I’m sticking with the Barbie theory. It explains the lack of any functional brain cells and the complete lack of remorse ….it also doesn’t require me to imagine Toby in any situation that might lead to reproduction…. (fewer pinheads, mule!!)

….I apologise to the heads of any pins that might find my remark to be less-than-flattering….
Iggy
September 25th, 2006 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

Next: Mary and Toby bury Aldo’s body in the Pet Sematary
Islamorada Girl
September 25th, 2006 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

Can’t wait for the funeral casseroles–Alpo for Aldo!
10-96
September 25th, 2006 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

Thank you jonnya & Angry Black Woman!
Chris
September 25th, 2006 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

I found out on Friday evening that an old friend of mine had recently died of a brain anyuerism…rough weekend…just finished reading through these posts and it is somehow cathartic…helps that my old pal had shaggy hair, was a bit overweight, and had a bushy moustache…Aldo, Rick, we shall miss you both!
Chris
September 25th, 2006 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

Oh, and dramashoes, keep the Joss/Josh stuff coming…!
Bigfoot
September 25th, 2006 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

If we don’t find out that Aldo survived, I’ll be stunned. The Johnny Walker couldn’t have made it, but Aldo…I just have to keep hope alive. Without him a-hopping & a-stalking around Santa Royale, what is there to live for?

And what creepy drunk stalker guy would ever leave the land of the everpresent, yet somewhat questionable, camel toe?
Poteet
September 25th, 2006 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

With no apologies to Henry Gross (but some to the rest of you)…

Aldo is gone, alas, he’s fallen off a cliff
He always loved to drive away
Maybe he’s crossing River Jordan in a skiff
Loaded with Johnny Walker Red.

Mary tries hard to pretend
Things will get better again
Somehow she’s keeping it all inside her

But finally the tears fill our eyes
And I know that somewhere tonight
He knows much we really miss him.
Laughing Boy
September 25th, 2006 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

I appologize to the original poster if this has already been mentioned as I was not able to read all 300 comments (sorry) but this is something that I thought of after reading some of the first 25 or so.

It IS strange that the police would call Mary, how would they know to do so in the first place (unless Aldo filled out the In Case Of Emergency card in his wallet with Mary’s name and number because he was so sure that he would win her over.) Also, it never actually SHOWED any police around the wreckage, so what I wondered is what if Aldo DIDN’T die?!! What if he pulled himself out of the car and wandered off and called Mary himself from some gas station or something to get back at her, or see how she would react?

Aldo could be coming back!

DON’T walk toward the light, Aldo!! Turn back, maybe you can score some OMG-I-thought-my-coldness-killed-you-elderly booty out of this!!

We’ll keep the candles burning for you Mr. Aldo only-character-worth-a-damn-in-the-whole-strip Kelrast!!
Minivet
September 25th, 2006 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

to an old meddler

Mary Worth, are you grieving
Over Aldo thÃs earth leaving?
NÃ³w thÃ¡t heâ€™s in the ground, you
Feel the earth collapse around you?
Ãh! Ãs your heart grew older
It did pass by such sights colder
In the tide, and not steered wide
But worlds of wimpweed proverbs plied.
How does that feel â€“ the other side?
Now no matter, Mary, your sin:
SÃ³rrowâ€™s sprÃngs Ã¡re within.
Nor lips felt, no nor hand, caressed
The skin of man below the chest.
It is the blight youâ€™re forlorn for,
It is penis you mourn for.
Harry Paratestes
September 25th, 2006 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

My grief causes my haiku to overflow:

The faux kangaroo
drunkenly leaped from a cliff
Aldo is worm food
mon-ma-tron
September 25th, 2006 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

[ snif ] okay, now that I’ve composed myself… jonnya & Angry Black Woman, those tribute videos are so, so cool!

Oh, and Dingo’s head is going to explode when he gets back from his 1800-mile job interview. That’ll teach him to leave us for so long!
LynnyM
September 25th, 2006 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

I pause from my lurking to express my deepest expression of grief and sense of loss.

What a passionate roller-coaster ride of cheesy, semi-palatable storyline. Save for Aldo, of course. He was incredible.

I’m gonna go eat some ice cream to soothe my aching heart.
Monkeyâ€™s Paw
September 25th, 2006 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

O Aldo! my Aldo! our fearful strip is done;
Your heart has weather’d every rack, but your heart does Mary shun;
Mary is near, through curtains you peer, the people all exulting,
While seeking out dear Maryâ€™s love, your adventures grim and daring.
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red!
Where on the cliff my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Aldo! my Aldo! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up! For you martinis mix, for you the barkeep trills:
For you peach schnops and grog and ale, for you the shores a-crowding:
For you we call, the feeble mass, our eager faces turning.
O Captain! dear Kelrast!
This booze that spilled upon the ground;
It is some dream that on the cliff,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his moustach pale and still;
His bowtie lost, his bowl-cut maimed, he has no pulse nor will;
For while intervention safe and sound, they had his brake lines snipped;
From fearful cliff the car it sails all while you the bottle tipped!
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the cliff poor Aldo lies,
Fallen cold and dead
Citric
September 25th, 2006 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

Candle In the Wind, Aldo Edition (I know, someone else did it, but I didn’t see that until I was half done.)

Goodbye Aldo Kelrast
Though we hardly knew you at all
You had the grace to hold that bottle
While off that cliff you’d fall.
Mary Worth rejected you
And then the Camron’s came
They told you they didn’t want you
They made you leave in shame

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Wishing Mary would save you
‘Fore the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But Dr. Jeff’s shoes were too big to fill
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever will

Loneliness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Johnny Walker was your only friend
And then your wife was dead
Even when you died
Oh you were still a sensation
All that Toby had to say
Was “and right after our intervention”

Goodbye Aldo Kelrast
From the internet you know
Who sees you as something more than Captain Kangaroo.
More than just that stalker Aldo.
el duende
September 25th, 2006 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

hard to add to the previous comments. haven’t posted in a while, just wanted to be part of history. amen.
Islamorada Girl
September 25th, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

AVENGE ME!

Aldo Kelrast’s ghost to his son
NotThatGuy
September 25th, 2006 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

Does Aldo walk with Elvis now? And did I just see him leaving the Safeway parking lot?
NJP
September 25th, 2006 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

From grief comes comedy. Aldo, you shall be missed.
the angry black woman
September 25th, 2006 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

we’re never going to find out how they knew to call mary, are we? damnit! This is stupid! And Aldo is still dead!!
Anonymous
September 25th, 2006 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

Yet another haiku to honor Captain Kangaraldo:

Johnny Walker flows
Blue car drives over great cliff
Oh, my stalker lad!
AppleGirl
September 25th, 2006 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

Angry Black Woman, you are genius, my friend! Thank you for including the Toby hate in your Look Back in Anger video.

251 – Heckler123, your comment has my vote for COTW. And you owe me a new keyboard.
Elise Kelrast - RIP
September 25th, 2006 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

Oh, if only Aldo could have sought comfort in a nice cup of cocoa instead …….
AppleGirl
September 25th, 2006 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

MW – Not a very good wrap-up. Cute young cop, though.
CuteLucca
September 25th, 2006 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

I was so saddened at the passing of dear Aldo that I had to draw a memorial picture for him.

http://www.cutelucca.com/forumpics/aldo.jpg

Rest easy, Aldo. We loved you, even if Mary didn’t.
frippy
September 25th, 2006 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

CuteLucca — I LOVE it!!!
K Bear
September 26th, 2006 at 12:02 am [Reply]

oh noooooooooooo!!!!!!!
i am so depressed, now I have nothing to look forward to in tuesday’s comics. i was hoping for massive internal injuries and a miraculous recovery.
Aldo was the reason I started reading MW. Now I’m hooked and he’s GONE!
I really hope he comes back in a few months, re-sublets the damn apartment, invites everyone for dinner, then goes to the bathroom to stare at himself in the mirror and rips off his wig, where we’ll see the most hideous scar on his scalp in the history of the world, a la melrose place.

and the tributes were hysterical. Now every time I listen to Hendrix I’ll think of Aldo.
Janet
September 26th, 2006 at 12:07 am [Reply]

I only made it through half of the brilliant posts here, but I have to say this:

It was Toby who programmed his navigation system, and it was good ole JW Yellow that saved his life by relaxing his body so he wasn’t injured. The cops knew to call Mary because Aldo told them about the unauthorized intervention and they are investigating.

Kudos to the moving booze bottle in the first youtube video – loved it!
reader-who-posts
September 26th, 2006 at 12:44 am [Reply]

I just hoping that Mary, Toby, and Chinbeard guy are somehow charged with murder, assuredly as a feeble attempt at ingenuity for the masses. Then Dr. Jeff comes back from his “brokeback mountain” retreat with Rex Morgan to find Mary on Death Row. He is given a conjugal visit, which he promptly refuses and runs off with a 20 year old candy striper named Muffy. Mary is executed while the entire town shows up to cheer. And then Robotman returns from space and moves into her apartment to continue the strip, for no other reason than the fact that I liked Robotman, and Monty hasn’t been as good without him.
Amber
September 26th, 2006 at 12:48 am [Reply]

I just realized what my Halloween costume is going to be this year — Zombie Aldo!

It should be easy to find clothes at a thrift store, or in a 1982 garage sale. But where will I get that patented bowl cut wig? At least I have some time to search.
Lurky McLurker
September 26th, 2006 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Actually Aldo is still alive. Mary and friends had put together a film using an Aldo look-alike to show him the consequences of obsession and addiction and bad hair choices during his “intervention.” At the end a tearful Aldo slowly applauds, thanking them, saying he has learned his lesson. However, in his unwavering stalker mind he can only think about how Mary would miss him if ever something did happen. He gleefully laughs, as he checks out the latest photos on MatronFetish.com, while im-ing his protÃ©gÃ©, simply known as Granthony, “Well, remember to keep your ’stache groomed and your ex-wife dead…”
Spamsauce
September 26th, 2006 at 12:50 am [Reply]

I’m hoping against all hope that those busybody naysayers at Charterstone are going to get their long deserved comeuppance.

Until then, a toast to Aldo with a glass of Johnny’s finest
papa
September 26th, 2006 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Weâ€™ll keep the candles burning for you Mr. Aldo only-character-worth-a-damn-in-the-whole-strip Kelrast!!

Laughing Boy’s parting comment in #304 brings to mind a fitting literary tribute to our most entertaining stalker:

“They’re a rotten crowd,” I shouted across the lawn. “You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.”

I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever gave him, because I disapproved of him from beginning to end. First he nodded politely, and then his face broke into that radiant and understanding smile, as if we’d been in ecstatic cahoots on that fact all the time.

— F.S. Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby <http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks02/0200041h.html>

Aldo believed in the tuna casserole.
anon
September 26th, 2006 at 1:26 am [Reply]

You, Mary really grieving
Over Alderast unleaving?
Love and the cares of man, you
with your hard heart care not, can you?
Ah! Ã¡s your heart grows older
It will become even colder
And yet now, spare not a sigh
Your friends’ intervention a lie
WIth this you should stop and know why.
Now no matter, he is chained
With the whiskey he drained
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What you heard, Toby guessed:
It Ãs the strife you were born for,
It is meddling you mourn for.
Mibbitmaker
September 26th, 2006 at 1:30 am [Reply]

(A Limerick for “Mary Worth” and Aldo)

Aldo turned his car ‘to scrap
Now he’s taking a dirt nap
He made this strip fun
But now he’s done
So, back to the same old crap!
deeeeeeeeelightful
September 26th, 2006 at 1:38 am [Reply]

Goodbye Aldo K
Though I never knew you at all
You had the strength, to hold out for mary’s call
While those around you yelled
They yelled out of her condo
And they whispered into your brain
They sent you to the bottle
And they made you stay away

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a stalker in the car
Never knowing where to hide
When mary came in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a ‘mudgeon
Your booze drained out before
Your legend ever did

Loneliness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Josh created a superstar
And pain was the price you paid
Even when you died
Oh the press still hounded you
All the curmudgeons had to say
Was that Kelrast was found with the booze

Goodbye
From the young girl in the 22nd row
Who sees you as something as more than sexual
More than just our Aldo K
moe99
September 26th, 2006 at 3:13 am [Reply]

the author got to teach two lessons:

1. don’t stalk

2. don’t drink and drive

but instead the only thing coming through is, if you’re Mary Worth, you have to take responsibility for assholes no matter how assholely they are. Dumb as a box of rocks.
NJP
September 26th, 2006 at 6:21 am [Reply]

It’s funny, but I really did go through the five stages of grief over old Load Stalker…

“What? He can’t be dead! Damn it, I can’t believe they killed him! Maybe we can convince Moy to bring him back somehow… Shit, life just won’t be as fun without Aldo Kelrast to kick around.”

I’m still working on acceptance.
Jeanne
September 26th, 2006 at 6:38 am [Reply]

Check out Tuesday’s Sally Forth. I believe we can thank Ces for the last panel
colorado
September 26th, 2006 at 7:19 am [Reply]

They could always bring back Aldo like they brought back Bobby Ewing on Dallas…. Maybe it was just a dream that Mary had… one can only hope
Dennis Jimenez
September 26th, 2006 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Adu, Aldo

It seems to me you lived your life like a turd swirling ’round a toilet bowl,

Never knowing what to cling to when the handle was flushed.
SmartPeopleOnIce
September 26th, 2006 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

#277 I hate to have to point this out â€¦but Tobyâ€™s â€œcameltoeâ€ â€¦isnâ€™t.

Back off man, you’re harshing my buzz.
bittertwin
September 26th, 2006 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

ABW,
Your “Aldo” videos ROCK! I especially liked the music for the “A Look Back In Anger.” Jonnya, the imagery in your video was great…Aldo going out to Hendrix! Who is going to sport the first CuteLucca tat?

Aldo, RIP…I’ll pour some Johnnie Walker Blue Label on the ground in your memory, as befits a man of your fame.
Shar
September 26th, 2006 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

Shoot, I was sure they would have Aldo coming back in a drunken rage and taking Mary hostage at knife-point. That would have drug it out a bit more before the SWAT team offed him.

What a lame-o ending.
Marion Delgado
September 26th, 2006 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

If you paid Sir Elton enough money, he WOULD rewrite “Candle in the Wind” to fit Aldo Kelrast. Or a pet of your choice.
Sicnarf
September 26th, 2006 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

You forget … Aldo has a brother who may want to avenge Aldo’s untimely demise. You will recognize him when you see him – He looks like Roy Rogers.

He has a virulent case of active HIV and will attemp
to seduce Mary before he too – returns to coal dust.

How often do they show the gal’s camal toe? That’s hot. Is she getting side meat or can Robert E. Lee IV still pick her cotton? Please tell all!
Katie
September 26th, 2006 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Maybe Aldo has made provisions in his will to have his body frozen until by some miracle he can be brought back to life…. he might be “technically” dead but did Mel Gibson in “Forever Young” teach us nothing? Cryogenics are the wave of the future and Aldo was nothing if not forward thinking!! Aldomania Forever!!!
conway link
September 26th, 2006 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Two things: (1) We, the bereaved, should establish a scholarship in honor of Aldo Kelrast at Santa Royale College, where that mean -spirited, so-called Professor, Ian Cameron is employed. Be sure it doesn’t go to a student in the English Department.
(2) If busy-bodies Cameron, Cameron, and Weston haven’t gotten involved, we would still have our Aldo with us. Although it was Aldo who made the decision to renew his acquaintance with ‘Johnny’, it was those playing mental health worker, who I fault with Aldo’s death. Just because Dr. Cameron is a professor of English, doesn’t mean he is qualified to decide when and how an intervention should be done. And Weston — his wretched newspaper advice recently resulted in a divorce of a couple whose marriage could have been saved. What an idiot he is.

These three should be arrested and charged with murder, but it will probably never happen, especially if Santa Royale is under the jurisdiction of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.
Octal
September 26th, 2006 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

So thusly ends
This stalker knave
Don’t drink and drive, kids!
Burma Shave.
LynnyM
September 26th, 2006 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

# 328

Agreed wholeheartedly. The passage is stunningly relevant.
Wisconsin
September 26th, 2006 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

Octal — Maybe you could get it posted along the same stretch of road that lead Aldo to his final reward.

You know, a lot has been made of the “stalker” anagram of Aldo’s name. But I don’t think it’s been mentioned that it’s also an anagram of Elk Star, which, given his coruscating status in the sack-cloth black night that was Mary Worth, seems much more fitting.

Shine on, Elk Star. Shine on.
deeeeeeeeelightful
September 26th, 2006 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

Perhaps Aldo will return, with his own comic strip about the in’s and out’s of the senior dating scene. Oooo rue maclanahan, you better watch yourself!
deeeeeeeeelightful
September 26th, 2006 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

How many of you have put that picture of RIP aldo K posted above as your wallpaper?
Jenners
September 26th, 2006 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

Um, did anybody else happen to watch Sunday’s Family Guy? The day before Aldo’s demise, they have a Captain Kangaroo joke! Coincidence? I sure don’t think so… How did we not see this coming!!
suseyblue
September 27th, 2006 at 12:38 am [Reply]

Oh, Angry Black Woman, your montage made me come out of lurkdom- you made me *weep* for Aldo. Sniff. It can’t be happening! (My death bargaining- I’m going with ‘Adventures of Molly the Bear’. For that, I’ll sacrifice Aldo.)
White Rabbit
September 27th, 2006 at 9:53 am [Reply]

And there’s one more thing that bugs me… It’s Johnnie Walker Scotch, not “Johnny”. Unless Aldo was swilling some cheap ripoff brand of booze, which is entirely likely. I’m thinking it might be Johnny Reb Bourbon. I don’t see Aldo as a Scotch drinker anyway. But bourbon from the bottle, that would be his style. I wonder what year he got out of Texas A&M?
BigRedMan
September 27th, 2006 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

I hope that bitch Mary Worth and her little pink mafia friends get what is coming to them. Death’s cold clamy hands are just a few blocks away and I hope Aldo is the first one you meet on the other side. I also hope he goes all Ike Turner on her ass. He was just trying to make her last few months on earth enjoyable and she has to go and get all iceberg on him.

BURN IN HELL MARY!!! BURN IN HELL!!!!
Anonymous
September 27th, 2006 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Here’s a little Stalker Haiku

Intervention ends.
Aldo with Johnnie plummets,
His word balloon popped.
Iggy
September 27th, 2006 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Tomorrow’s strip: Panel One: Mary, Ian, Toby and Wilbur are seated at the dinner table. Chinbeard: Delicious eggplant casserole, Wilbur!. Panel Two: Ian pours tall glasses of the drugged wine.as Mary places towels at the base of the front door. Panel Three: Mary opens the oven door and turns on the gas as Toby composes a note to the authorities: “To Who It May Concern: We are overcome with guilt at our responsibility in the death of Aldo Kelrast.” Panel Four: Ian: “That’s ‘To Whom It May Concern’ ” … fade to black.
Evey
September 27th, 2006 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

I…I am so angry!

This whole plot was just so Mary Worth could chastise us for drinking and driving???

That intervention was no intervention at all! Interventions are to help the person who has a problem (Stalking, in this case) not to make the person feel like a horrible waste of flesh who doesn’t deserve to live and then shove them out the door. That’s called, “pushing someone to suicide”

“Don’t drink and drive, kids!” Alas, Mary Worth has taught us a valuable lesson once again. NO! Mary Worth didn’t do anything amazing or clever, she just biddied around and meddled in people’s businesses until she ultimately led a poor widower to his bloody death

And now she’s acting like all along she was trying to teach us that drinking while driving is bad. AHHHH!

I think I’m going to go to old Johnny for some consolation. Mary Worth, you sure do have a way of leading people to drown their sorrows in alcohol.
Shamazon
September 27th, 2006 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

Angry Black Woman, Johnny A:
Your tributes are deliciously perverted. In a good way. I can’t believe I’m commenting in the 350-ish about this. Is is possible that there are this many of us that have no life *except* for Mary worship?
Zep
September 28th, 2006 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

http://www.aldokelrast.com

He’ll live.
Jim Walsh
September 29th, 2006 at 12:26 am [Reply]

I know I’ll always remember where I was and what I was doing when…

You’re not really buying any of this…are you?

(Sigh) Aldo…we hardly knew ye…
Anonymous
September 29th, 2006 at 1:05 am [Reply]

Wisconsin – Ha, yes! I was hoping someone’d catch the Swamp Thing tribute. :D
Octal
September 29th, 2006 at 1:24 am [Reply]

359 was me. >.>
Neil
September 29th, 2006 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

I wept.

I’m man enough to admit it. I wept.

Aldo, we hardy knew ya . . . .

Adios, amigo! You can be waiting for MW in the next life . . . .

(Sobbing quietly, as though his very heart might break . . . .)
Susan Katz
September 30th, 2006 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

How could those thoughtless ‘artists/writers’ of Mary Worth create a weakling drinker-big baby to look like our revered Captain Kangaroo. I am incensed. Aldo, do not go gently into that good night— just quickly fade away, ye swabby.
Breakfast
September 10th, 2007 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

Last Post!!!!
Notebooked
April 2nd, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

…

Long time lurker, first time commentor. Brought out of my lurking to say…

…we’ll miss you, Aldo. You will not be forgotten. From now, each time I look at the floor of a barbershop, I shall see your bowl cut and moustache mirrored in the hair. Every time I see an old lady, I shall imagine you following close after with a happy smile. And every time I see a bottle of scotch, I…I… …

[snif]

Rest in peace, Aldo. May your ghost stalk Mary Worth, so you may live in eternal bliss.

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