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Dustin, 4/25/19

Sorry to youngsplain at you, Dustin’s Boomer Dad Whose Name I Refuse To Remember Or Look Up, but on the social networking service Twitter, a “tweet” is a post that’s publicly visible, or, if you have a locked account, a post that’s visible to your followers; a “direct message,” as the name implies, is private message visible only to the sender and recipient or recipients. Getting dumped in public has a very different emotional valence than the relative privacy of a direct message, so your “Dear John tweet” joke is inaccurate, and isn’t even as charming as wordplay as the more correct “Dear John DM” would be. Also, your son appears to be experiencing a real emotional crisis, as many people of all ages would if the romantic relationship they were in abruptly came to an end, but sure, the thing to focus on here is the website via which the message happened to be sent, so laff it up.

Mary Worth, 4/25/19

I love that, as Estelle unravels emotionally, Mary is just making unbroken eye contact with her phone while dropping this scam knowledge. “Look, Estelle, I know your boyfriend is on your phone and you think everything on phones is real. Well, my phone is telling me that your boyfriend is probably a fraud! Really makes you think, doesn’t it?”

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Sam and Silo, 4/19/19

Sam and Silo is a strip I’ve only recently started reading and hadn’t even really heard of before that, so it’s new to me, but I always kind of assumed what we were reading were repeats — either along the lines of Crock, where the syndicate acknowledges the strip ended long ago but keeps sending out reruns to placate the trufans, or along the lines of the Family Circus or Blondie, which are ostensibly still being created anew every day but reruns keep being submitted because who cares, honestly. Today, however, I was horrified to learn that Sam and Silo is still being produced today, and that the Sam Silo creative team has thoughts on Donald Trump, and that those thoughts are that Donald Trump is horny.

Mary Worth, 4/19/19

Wow, congrats to “Arthur” for not just taking Estelle’s ten grand and then peacing out, but going for another payday! He’s running a Spanish Prisoner scam, with Arthur himself as the prisoner! Will Estelle fall for it? She already has her standard grocery bag ready in preparation for his arrival! That baguette and celery isn’t going to eat itself!

Pluggers, 4/19/19

Pluggers has, in a general sense, been ripping off Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be A Redneck” bit for years, but I think it’s sad to see that they’ve now succumbed to the entreaties of lots of pluggers coast to coast and have chosen to rip it off directly.

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Pardon My Planet, 4/17/19

Welp, I’ve got three more months of analysis under my belt and I still do not know what the deal is with Pardon My Planet. Are these two a stable couple of characters we’re supposed to know and love? Or does everyone in the strip just kind of look like this? Definitely could not tell you! I do enjoy the image of a Gen-X dude with a soul patch coming home after a long day at the office, settling back in his favorite chair, and then his beloved wife, dressed in a traditional tube top, brings him a soothing martini and engages him in discourse about the etymology of common phrases. I don’t necessarily want to live in this world, but I’m definitely warmed by the idea that it might exist.

Hi and Lois, 4/17/19

Man, it sure seems like Trixie’s been abandoned even more than usual today, doesn’t it? “I’ll just let the weather guy on Channel 7 babysit her until Chip gets home from school,” says Lois, as she hastily packs a bag and prepares to leave forever. “He seems trustworthy.”

Mary Worth, 4/17/19

ARTHUR IS COMING, EVERYBODY

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