The Comics Curmudgeon

83 responses to “Metapost: Comments. Comments. Who wants this week’s greatest comments?”

1. Red Greenback
   February 25th, 2007 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

   The Acadamy Awards warmup is on teevee now. Got a big bet going with Marty Moon-I’m putting my money on the Colts.

2. gowens
   February 25th, 2007 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

   I became a Curmudgeoneer a few months ago, and although I fear that I lack the wit to ever be a regular Commenter, I am posting today to ask a couple of questions: (1) What exactly is a “Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener”? An anagram? Something even more wondrous? (2) Is it in some way copyrighted or trademarked, such that I can’t offiically change my name to “Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener”? Sure, there might be some minor adjustments that I would have to make, such as determining what to have my high school speech classes call me: “Mr. Cubic,” “Mr. Preener,” or simply, “Mr. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener.” And my wife and children might be perplexed. But, hey, if the Batiuks of the world get to perpetrate their crimes against humanity with impunity, I figure I’m entitled to a little self-indulgence, too.

   Um, okay. Back into the shadows I go.

3. Uncle Lumpy
   February 25th, 2007 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

   #2 gowens -

   I’m quite sure you mean “Back to the Shadows Again.”

4. Megg
   February 25th, 2007 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

   2: That name could humously include, ” That’s MR. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener to YOU.” That’d be pretty amusing.

5. willethompson
   February 25th, 2007 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

   gh – TWO mentions, well done. Except my “And Lt. Teevo “releases (communications) at convenient intervals?” Then shouldn’t his name be Lt. Anal Sphincter?” got squat. Sigh.

6. PeteMoss
   February 25th, 2007 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

   “And Johnny, tell Mr. Weasle Boy What he’s won.”

   “Wink, Weasle Boy will receive an all expense paid trip for two to the luxurious Jack Ass Acres #3 in beautiful Atholl, Idaho.”

7. Uncle Lumpy
   February 25th, 2007 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

   #2 gowens -

   ‘Cuz they’re both Firesign Theater references.

8. gowens
   February 25th, 2007 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

   Thank you, Uncle Lumpy. Forward, into the past!

9. stinky pete
   February 25th, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

   5 wille, yeah, I spent the entire week COTW-whorin’ and got nothing. I have half a mind to just quit being so damn clever, so there!

10. PeteMoss
    February 25th, 2007 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    It’s an honor just to be nominated.

    My personal favorites in that COTW group are lesles’, Monkey’s Uncle’s and gkl’s.

11. That Guy
    February 25th, 2007 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    Is somebody going to mention that cleaning the garage has now made it to Family Circus, or do I have to do that, myself (so to speak)?

    And does the “G” in G-Spot actually stand for Garage?

12. Squid Countess
    February 25th, 2007 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    For those of you who may have missed it in an earlier thread, Stinky Pete raised the overall tone by bringing us a drama, “Waiting for Dingot.” (#312 under Ghosts, My Space and Bird Cleavage.)

    Which prompted WilleThompson to suggest:

    Kate on a Hot Tin Roof
    Squid Countess of Monte Cristo
    I Was a Preen-age Molewolf
    An Inconvenient True Fable
    The Three Lyngineers
    The Old Fogeyette and the Sea (of Coffee)
    SmartPeopleOnIce On Ice! (it’s the Disney version)
    Stinkus Petedronicus
    Kingh Lear (unlike the real gh, this one is silent)
    How Red Greenback was My Valley
    Trots and Bonnie (yes, I KNOW)
    Uncle Vanya (’vanya’ is Russian for ‘not very smooth mashed potatoes’)
    The Galactic Emperor Jones
    Poteet Me in Saint Louis
    FunnyAppleGirl
    SheiLaghBoheme
    ShannonGoldenPond

    Which prompts me to suggest: Hey kids! Let’s put on a show! Let’s put on two shows! The first, a bawdy, rollicking musical – Hello, Wille!
    The second, a terrifying look into the eyes of a meddling, soul-destroying woman – Who’s Afraid of Mary Worth?
    You guys run with it. As Ratbert says, “I’m more of an idea rat.”

13. Tukla in Iowa
    February 25th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    ::Joey Lawrence::

    Whoa!

    ::/Joey Lawrence::

14. hogenmogen
    February 25th, 2007 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Hi everyone. I’ve been really busy and haven’t had time to read the comics, let alone the hundreds of comments. Surely by now, though, Mary Worth and Jeff have safely landed, Jeff set up a non-profit, raised thousands and sent it to some corrupt, profiteering Vietnamese government officials by now. What’s that? They haven’t even picked up their baggage at the airport yet?

    I hope this week the plot centers on air traffic delays that force the plane into a holding pattern of indeterminable length, because that would be a perfect metaphor for the entire Worthless strip.

15. Caged Tygre
    February 25th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    Ooo, I made runner-up again and both times my comment featured the name Wally.
    Maybe if I just just write Wally I can get COTW:
    Wally Wally Wally Wally Wally Wally!
    Ah, forget it, I guess Wally doesn’t have quite the same ring as smock.

16. The Avocado Avenger
    February 25th, 2007 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    #14 hogenmogen – Given that the strip tends to linger for weeks on one conversation, then skip several hours or days for no reason, I suspect tomorrow we’ll see Mary and Dr. Jeff already in her apartment, sipping tea with Toby and Ian. Dr. Ian will have been slipping some whiskey into his tea, though, just to make him extra snarky, and he’ll inevitably make some snide comment about Jeff wanting to buy sick children a new kitchen. Everyone will be uncomfortable, and remain so for the length of the conversation, roughly 97 strips.

    Congrats to the COTWers. When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.

17. BigJoe
    February 25th, 2007 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Ryhmes With Orange: Surprised nobody commented on Hillary Price’s wonderful math skills. 47 million is half of 1 billion? Not quite.

18. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 25th, 2007 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Yes, indeed: my moniker is derived from an obscure Firesign Theater bit (it’s on the Dear Friends compilation of radio thingies, and is from a skit where they’re seeing what’s on TV.

    I was pleased to see my name here on the COTW post. Unfortunately, as usual, it’s not among the actual COTWs. Damn, if only I could figure out the secret to being one of the COTWs, I’d have it made.

    [voice whispers off-mike] You have to be funny

    Oh. Damn.

19. Boshek
    February 25th, 2007 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    Oh, everyone, on a slight tangent- I was playing Halo the other day and someone startled me and I said “Rolly Church of Crete!” In real life. Out loud. The phrase has life! Yess!

    And so… I’m confused as hell about Rex Morgan. Sarah is their child. If Niki becomes Sarah’s brother, he will be Rex’s son… not brother. Or… what is the relationship status of this family!?

    Okay, so, only a few hours until I see the Monday FOOB. I have a feeling it will be a soggy, moustachioed blob of nothing. Yes. That means Granthony.

20. alamo
    February 25th, 2007 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    #15 — you could say that you are wearing your smock to cover your wally.
    or
    is that a lump in your smock or are you wally glad to see me?
    multiple variations exist.

21. AhClem
    February 25th, 2007 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    I think I figured out what Dingo has been doing during his absence from CC:

    http://www.dingobrand.com/catalog/catalog.aspx

    (Resisting the urge to make a comment about meat-filled bones. Oops, I just did. Damn.)

22. Canaduck
    February 25th, 2007 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    Great job to all winners, but I have to say that “lapsnorkeling” is now my NEW favorite word and my favorite euphemism of all time.

    Lapsnorkeling!

23. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Hey everyone. I know a lot of you are already aware of the Marmaduke Explained blog. I just found out today (but maybe some of you already noticed) that since sometime in January, the creator of that blog has also been doing a thing where he draws reader-submitted ideas on index cards in a charmingly naive yet colourful way. And no, I don’t have any connection with the guy, despite the “Mathlete” in his name. Thank you, good night. Congratulations Martin Scorsese.

24. Jack Parsons
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    Hey Wally, give me a hand!

25. Mibbitmaker
    February 26th, 2007 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    2/26:

    FOOB: Well, gotta appreciate a break from the awful storylines of the past few — …..What? A stupid pun? Damn.

    A3G: “Addled and dizzy, LuAnn…” That’s all that’s needed to say, really. So, I’ll jus— What? The next panel(s)…Oh, please! “This must be what genius feels like!” No! LuAnn, you’ll never know what genius feels like. Can’t be done.

    FW: Obviously, Lisa never heard of Britney Spears! Really, that situation is sad, but cancer victims have every right to be pissed at her.

    Lockhorns: Leroy’s too old to be from Desert Storm, so I assume he served in Vietnam. No wonder we lost that one!

    Zits: Apparently, it’s “old thinking” for eating a pizza to not feel worse than being a prisoner at Abu Graib.

26. Mibbitmaker
    February 26th, 2007 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    #12: The best one I can think of is “Shake Your Mibbitmaker”, but that’s a song (title parody), isn’t it? Well, there’s always any variation of “Muppet”. “The Mibbits Take Spider-Manhattan”? “The Mibbits Take Mandrakethemagician”? (Just not knowing what genius feels like tonight!)

27. Boshek
    February 26th, 2007 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    Mibbit, your thoughts on FOOB match mine exactly. My Granthony radar went off but it was a false alarm… and what do we get… an isolated PUN strip. Not a good pun. Not even a DECENT pun. Not even ACCEPTABLE. Maybe Lynn is trying to make us realize why her strip used to be a beloved bastion of sense on the comics pages… this is NOT the pun to use. It is a BAD BAD PUN and, while there isn’t as MUCH to say about it as there is to say about the wrongness that is Anthony Caine… wait, I’ve just said a lot about it. Maybe it is a fruitful topic. For those of you who have not read it, the “punchline” is “smell phone.” You now do not have to read it. You’re welcome.

    End Rant.

28. lesles
    February 26th, 2007 at 3:49 am [Reply]

    OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, COTW runnerup!!!! squeeee! ok, ok … ahem …

    just to be nominated among such auspicious company is truly an honour. i’d like to thank all those who worked on my comment with me – they’re a really remarkable team and i wouldn’t be here without them. this nomination is really for them, and for all curmudgeons. and i have to thank god (’cause my pr people tell me it’s mandatory) and galactic emperor chennux (’cause that’s just sane self-preservation). vague political statement that’s really soft and safe, but that the mainstream media can pretend is really edgy. thankyou, all. goodnight.

    and i’m not at all snippy that i lost out on the big prize to weasel boy just ’cause his work is better – i realise i just don’t have the flexibility to really work the couch like some of these youngsters anymore. i’m considering taking the opportunity of this high point in my life to retire. and i’ll deny all of that when the hangover wears off.

29. Mr. O’Malley
    February 26th, 2007 at 4:14 am [Reply]

    A-3G: The Monday strip is the Sunday strip with the Margo panels removed. I wonder … will Tuesday’s strip be the Margo panels from Sunday?

    MW: Normally this strip moves at the pace of a giant Galapagos tortoise, but every now and then it puts on a burst of speed. Yesterday we were still in the plane. Today we’ve landed, gone through customs, picked up baggage, hired a limo, driven up to Jeff’s spread in the Santa Ynez Valley (my guess) and gotten him packed off to bed again. Will we continue at this frantic rate back to Charterstone, or get bogged down in another lengthy and pointless conversation right away?

    SF: If Sally’s birthday was two weeks ago (Feb. 12), why did the party start on Feb. 15 and continue through Feb. 24? You could hardly blame Ralph for having the cake on the Monday after her Saturday party. Problem: mixing strip time and real time.

    GA: If you haven’t been following the latest plotline, don’t bother to start now. Problem solved by document ex machina.

    Phantom: I think this strip sets a good example of how to work psychic powers into a plotline without getting too silly. A-3G and MW could do worse than to follow this example.

30. Jack Parsons
    February 26th, 2007 at 4:23 am [Reply]

    MT: the problem with faking your own death for the insurance is that someone else gets the money. And then they share it with you. Sometimes.

31. JamesK
    February 26th, 2007 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    Say what whoa, now?

    That could not have been the most clever “The bull is using the carrots as anal stimulants” quote written, surely.

    But hey, who am I to complain?

    WHOOT!

32. willethompson
    February 26th, 2007 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    RMMD: June pimps Rex into being a Big Brother by calling him, “smart, kind, handsome, well-spoken…” while leaving out “closeted gay, the bottom in our dysfunctional leatherbound relationship, doctor who hasn’t seen a patient in WEEKS and couldn’t even diagnose that our child had a BRUISE instead of CHRONIC ARTHRITIS, Viagra counterfeiter and supplier of Oxycontin to Rush Limbaugh.” Hey, those Big Brother people have STANDARDS! Why don’t you try being a Big SISSY instead? Oh, right…

    JP: Judging from what’s jutting from the grocery bag, Cedric is VERY glad to see Angela. In fact, that’s the first 2-D rendering ever of a skxcritort. The Galactic Emperor Chennux will be torqued.

33. Coffeeclash
    February 26th, 2007 at 6:32 am [Reply]

    A3G – If genius feels like a paintbrush, then stupidity feels like…a zipper?

    MT – Here Dan, wear this Elrod balloon so you won’t be conspicuous.

    MW – Meddlers in training! Mary will have them fully up to speed in a few hours, or six months in MW time.

    JP – Cedric is being stalked by his wife. Can’t any woman in this strip get a little service?

34. Eric G
    February 26th, 2007 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    Luann – Is “TJ” a transplant from Jane’s World?

35. banana
    February 26th, 2007 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Today’s FOOB: mildly amusing, but I prefer the term “checking their pee mail” ….

36. Calico
    February 26th, 2007 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    FOOB – yes, John, it’s called “marking with piss.” You should try it sometime.

    MW – so Mary’s finally got the restraints on Jeff. Mary 1, Jeff 0.
    When is the hobbling finally going to occur? Right after Mary gets it on with the little daughter, from what I can tell.

    DtM – kind of obnoxoius, but not as much as if Dennis and widdle sidekick had dug it right where Mr. Wilson steps when he goes to pick up his mail and paper.
    Looks like FW is in on the hole-in-yard-thing too.

37. anne
    February 26th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    We need a crossover between A3G and the Phantom. Something like “The Ghost Who Makes Dumb Blondes Paint Pictures of Flowers.” Um… in Africa.

    And Albert Pinkham Ryder definitely needs a skin-tight latex costume. Or maybe not.

38. Weasel Boy
    February 26th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    If you’re keeping score at home, the big winners were Forest Whitaker, Helen Mirren, Martin Scorcese, and ME! Thanks Josh!

39. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 26th, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    SF: Slick Smitty has a brilliant plan to… beat a couple of animals in a footrace. And his idea involves strapping a half-dozen balloons to his back. Ladies, don’t smoke during pregnancy, ’cause this is what happens.

    Kudzu: Preacher Dunn is still on the high-larious “talking to the young people” kick. Of course, the couple he’s marrying look like Ike and Mamie Eisenhower from the back, so go figure.

    JP: Hot wife. Nice work Eduardo.

    H&L: They need another panel where Lois rips off Hi’s index finger and forces him to eat it.

40. Calico
    February 26th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    36 – oh, yes, forgot to say that Dennis needs to add a bucket of dogshit to the hole. This would exponentially increase the menacing factor, especially if Mr. Wilson steps in before 9 AM.

41. Justafoob
    February 26th, 2007 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    John can’t mark anything with piss since he had his manhood removed on his honeymoon.

    Ever since it has been catheter bag city for him.

42. Eric G
    February 26th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    GT: Pat goes to Milford High? Which team does (s)he play for?

43. Calico
    February 26th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    #41 – Aha-so that’s why they vacationed in Mexico so much!

44. Gg83
    February 26th, 2007 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    # 26–Mibbitmaker

    I think The Great Mibbitmaker Caper has a nice ring to it.

45. cheech wizard
    February 26th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    JP- Cedric’s wife Angela is a dead-ringer for Neddy after six months in Paris. Hell, given Ned’s hangover this morning, she might get there by next weekend.

    A3G – “This must be what genius feels like.” No, LuAnn, based on your expression, this is what blotter acid feels like.

    MT- Another predator/prey throwaway panel. What does the artist do, take his supplies to Cabela’s and sketch the dioramas?

    JP again – The Neddy/Angela similarity makes me wonder if the unfortunate Eduardo isn’t running low in his quiver of faces. What’s next? The statue of Joan of Arc looks like Abbey? Mona Lisa as Aunt Rachel? An annoying, yapping little dog that’s a dead ringer for Randy? I dread the days to come.

46. Bender
    February 26th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    So it looks like LuAnn is dizzy from: (a) gas leak, (b) paint thinner, (c) huffing, (d) yes. I once saw an after school special where a young Helen Hunt exposed the dangers of drug use when her character, high on PCP, went bat-scat insane and jumped out a window. Now, I know that the effects of PCP are nothing like fume induced halucinations, you know this, hell, unborn children know this; but, we’re praying like hell that Frank Bolle doesn’t know this.

47. AdamBa
    February 26th, 2007 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    LuAnn, I think “genius” is spelled c-r-y-s-t-a-l m-e-t-h.

    - adam

48. True Fable
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    #40 Calico – Welcome to the Board of Trustees of MenaceWatch2007! It has been tougher than Mary Worth’s chin hairs to keep Dennis menacing as he should. The dog poo in the hole is a nice touch. However, a shallow hole is equally nice as long as it is discreet enough to twist or even break someone’s ankle when they go for a stroll in the evening. Plenty of time then, for Dennis to trash the house and take any amount of cookies that he damn well pleases.

    You know, acting out my aggressions here is very theraputic. I was such a squeaky clean kid, so obedient, such an altar boy. Dennis is falling down on the job and I just won’t have it, I tell you! There’s hundreds, no thousands of squeaky clean little altar boys out there that need an outlet for their frustrations from saying “Yes sir” and “No M’am” all the time, not to mention “I finished my homework early, why do we have to watch PBS when the Man from U.N.C.L.E. is on?”

    I need meds.

49. Ham Gravy
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    After twelve straight days of huffing paint fumes to the point of hallucination, the last thing Luann needs now is some buzz-kill like “ventilation” or “fresh air”.

50. Ribinin
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: It makes sense to me. It would take a vapid mind like Luann’s to be used by a ghost and do his work without messing it up with her interpretation.

51. True Fable
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    GA Oh, good grief. The old fart was using his beans to sign a deed over to The Stupidest Person on the Planet, since all the old fart’s progeny has to do is tell the dipshit “you’re supposed to sign that over to me now, it’s in the contract” and the numbskull will do it because his brain only has one firing pin on its single cell.
    Corky just has to keep the moron under four-man-deep security until he can get him to the courthouse. Of course, this will take weeks to do and I can’t stand the moronic character, so I am free to ignore this strip for a while. I’ll peek in from time to time, to see if anyone sends Dipshit to That Great Comic Strip Home in the Sky for Stupid Sidekicks instead.
    FBoFW Why do teens in comics have to, like, Totally use the word Totally wherever it might, y’know, fit or whatever? I mean like, isn’t “totally everything” like, totally everything and therefore like, redundant? I mean gaaaah. It’s like John doesn’t have the sense to simply say, “Dogs mark their territory, April.” Then he could toss in his pun. Well, thank God he didn’t say, “That reminds me; wanna see me write my name in the snow?” It wouldn’t be too far a stretch from Saturday’s creepy Enter-Daughter’s-Bedroom-and-Discuss Her Love-Life strip.

52. True Fable
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Congratulations, Weasel Boy, and all the runner’s up!

    My apologies for jumping in and snarking right off the bat before I passed out the kudos, but you know how it is.

53. AhClem
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    #39 – Kudzu’s minister reminds me a bit of Doonesbury’s Reverend Scott, who used to refer to himself as the “fighting priest who could talk to the young.” The only difference is that Doonesbury’s priest was funnier and better drawn.

    (Any artwork that compares unfavorably to early Doonesbury is in big trouble, much like Luann’s acid-induced flower paintings).

54. MossMoses
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    “smell phone” is not a bad pun but it is unoriginal. I’ve been calling them smellular phones for the past five years and I still don’t own one. I hate those obnoxious privacy invaders.

55. True Fable
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    #53 what a great memory you have awakened! I enjoyed Reverend Scott; well face it, I enjoyed that whole era of Doonesbury. Nowadays I can’t stomach Mike’s kid long enough to tolerate it, but back then it was golden.

    which reminds me:

    A3G Is this strip really trying to convince us that out of all the painters who ever painted in NYC, Albert Ryder Pinkam is the one who slipped from Beyond the Pale to haunt someone? WHY? So he could paint what he couldn’t do in his lifetime of painting dark, moody themes – now he is free to paint silly orchids and flowers and lighthearted, fun, zingy things through a peroxide hack?

    Yeah, when I die, I want to come back and do something like that. Not. I plan to haunt Lynn Johnston and make certain her real life world is full of encounters with non-whitebread people, all of whom will keep her off her own pedestal.

56. Trotzenbonnie
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    FBOFW – “Smell phone”. Funny. I think they’re about to release them for real in Japan.
    My dog lifts her leg on everything. That’s how dogs keep in touch. I call it Pee Mail.
    Moss – Isn’t it hilarious when you see two people having dinner “together” and they’re both talking to different people on their smell phones?

57. dreadedcandiru2
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    53- Foob- About the whole ‘tuck Lizzie in’ mess, we better hope John is half-way to being a perv! Otherwise, he’s gotta be the stupidest BoheHeadDad since Tony on Who’s the Boss. Sadly, his antics here lean me to thnking he shut be put smack dab into Column B.

58. DickBlick
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Wunky Finkerbean –
    Poor Lisa. She doesn’t understand that saying her hair looks great is just everyone’s way of telling her that they were tired of looking at her bald head.

59. dreadedcandiru2
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    DtM: This is what they call menacing these days? Helping a PUDDLE along? He could at least try to do something off-putting and nasty like burying one of Margaret’s dollies or Mster Wilson’s upper plate or something. But NO, he just wants to splash around like an idiot. The only thing that kid is ‘menacing’ is the ear-drums of hung-over suburbanites.

60. cheech wizard
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    GA- Good news: Pert deeded the diner to Corky years ago. Bad news: Corky now owes umpteen years in back taxes that he didn’t know he was supposed to be paying. Even worse news: The city’s already claimed the diner for back taxes, but Corky never knew because all the notices went to the same place as the tax bills he never received.

    And just where was this important legal document filed anyway? Oh, that’s right – behind the counter. I’m sure that will hold up in court.

61. Wally LimpingBean
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    My wife hates long hair, it takes her too long to get it ready in the morning and she never likes how it comes out.

    I guess if she live in Batiuk’s world she would be a dyke or a lame-assed chemo patent.

    Do any of these cartoonists ever go outside to see what is happening in the real world. Johnny Hart and Al Scaduto being the exceptions.

62. cheech wizard
    February 26th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    FW – “I don’t see anyone rushing out to get their hair cut like this.” Aw, c’mon, Lisa – you live in Cleveland, don’t you? You really need to get down to the Warehouse District more often.

63. gh
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    OK, guys. Meetings all day Friday and, as usual, I wasn’t allowed out to play on the weekend. I’m up to comment #312(!) on the Friday post and it’s dangerously close to midnight on that thread and, and, I can’t wait to read what everyone said about Saturday’s FW. Hoo hoooo! Even not reading FW it was pretty hard to miss the explosion Friday so Saturday I figured, why not? No one saw that one coming! And how could we? Did anyone expect such a cheap-ass trick? I could hear the roars of outrage leaking through the Ethernet. I’ll just have to read for myself. Meanwhile:

    Old Fogeyette Ah, Benchley. Would love to dance again. Maybe at the p=1000 shindig?

    Squid Countess Yes, yes, Sedaris too. I also like your “Suzanne” theory.

    Lyman Returns KA-FLOOMPA-TOOT?! BWAHAHAHA!

    Mountain Mama A worthy effort, I’m sure. Alas, I don’t know from Stevie Nicks.

    willethompson I swear, every time I step away for a few minutes days you go and bollux things up. But another cartoon taped to the wall! Nice product placement there with the Toosie Roll Pop®. And thanks for the ®! My collection grows and grows. As for the Manitoba extension, I pulled up the lyrics to that one after your first two and realized the only part I knew was the “winds go sweeping down the plains” line. So, I’m guessing it was hilarious as usual. It reads funny.

    Back in two hours, once I get caught up (Josh was especially prodigious for a weekend, I see).

64. Harry Worth
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Mary was going to get Dr. Jeff in bed one way or another.

    Tomorrow, she is going to apply the lips of healing onto him. An episode you don’t want to miss. Dr. Jeff will arise to the occasion and Mary will take things into her own hands.

65. Boshek
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Oh, okay, June means Big Brother as in that role-model organization and not, like… adoption. Whatever. Elvis is still there with a gun so maybe things will go badly and all of this will be moot. Speaking of which… ELVIS IS THERE WITH A GUN! Why are we watching the Morgans chat while there is a meth dealer with a gun hunting down young somewhat innocent Niki!? I mean, watching the Morgan family’s repressed dysfunction is fun and all but there are more important things to do and see at the moment!

    And rather belated congrats to the comment winners and Oscar winners. Look at how prolific this site’s wit is. Our Pope gives us awards every WEEK! Once a year? Fie!

    And Gil Thorp’s characters still only vaguely resemble people. What else is new?

66. Red Greenback
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    TDIET: Just when you think you and wifey are sittin’ pretty on your piece of the American dream…
    Wazzat???, Adolf Hitler is voting at the condo meeting. …Ach, J-a-a-a-a!

67. Boshek
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    #64 Harry… this is Mary Worth we’re talking about. Do you think Doctor Jeff is really going to launch into this twisted contact with gusto? If so, he is a brave man with very little sensory perception and an almost insatiable appetite for platitudes and criticism.

    Oh, dear. I just imagined how much nagging is implicit in sexual relations with Mary Worth. Over and above the creepy plastic hair and demonic face I believe this makes Mary Worth “Unfit For Human Consumption.”

    Run, Jeff, run!!

68. Hogen Mogen
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Funky: Lisa, stop pissing on other people’s compliments. Man, what a depressing strip.

    A3G: I don’t get it. Luann is high on paint fumes, but only a month or two ago Blaze was talking about how drafty it was in the studio. Drafty enough to slam doors and that sort of thing. Unless you believe that the ghost is real. It’s real like the ghosts in Scooby Doo. Mean old Mr. Henderson is just trying to scare out the tennants to buy out the building for a low price, would have gotten away with it except for those meddling kids, same as always. Didn’t Luann watch tv as a kid?

69. MossMoses
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Why the sudden concern from the Corey spawn? What happened to their flippant, “he’s fine, don’t worry” attitude? Probably they are hypocrites who only care about his will and act like they give a crap only when he is present.

70. treedweller
    February 26th, 2007 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: I agree this isn’t a great joke, but I would have been mildly amused if it were in “Mutts” (though the punchline would be “shmell phone”).

    The problem here is, we’re so braced against the slow-motion model train wreck that’s barrelling toward us that it feels like a sucker punch instead of a joke. Feint with a stupid dog strip today, then a Granthony haymaker (or a glowing NYT book review) tomorrow. Maybe we’ll be reeling so bad we’ll forget to chase down LJ with torches and pitchforks afterward.

    Meanwhile, re: Hagar, WTF? Is Hagar making a mental note of what dummy sidekick said to use in his defense after killing the moron?

71. Wally LimpingBean
    February 26th, 2007 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    A day late and a dollar short, but, I bet Wally’s “wife” wishes that she were a victim of a video game. She would love running around chasing some dots in a Pac-Man world rather that be a one-armed wonder.

    Fie on you Wally Winkerbean. At least you have two arms.

    But so does Comicbook John, and he is here in Ohio.

    Nevermind…….

72. Joe
    February 26th, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Hmm…my oh-so-subtle cocaine reference made it to C(s)OTW. Maybe I’ll…do some cocaine now. Funny?

73. Ribinin
    February 26th, 2007 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    I was listening to an NPR interview that included the interviewee being quite alarmed that some people check the internet for messages as much as once a day.

    uhhh…..My name is Ribinin, and I am powerless over CC.

74. Red Greenback
    February 26th, 2007 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Thanks Toonhead! (from last thread-#73)- I took the liberty of putting your link up again http://bp2.blogger.com/_I-08DcEh8AA/ReMWGyF61UI/AAAAAAAAAFs/x0HJMfLvT_k/s1600-h/maryworthicon.jpg Sheesh!, in the cold light of a Monday morning, that is some scary shit!-
    Also, your spam poem is niiice!

75. queek
    February 26th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    RP the doc was drawn really weirdly today.

    FOOB: Mother Goose & Grim used “pee-mail” as a joke years ago. And did it better.

    Non Sequitur: funny. Not subtle, but amusing.

    I love Lio. The “doot-de-doo” face in panel 3 is just marvelous.

76. ohyes
    February 26th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    JP: Wow, that Angela, with those lips and that look, makes it very clear what she wants to do for her husband, and it’s more than “see” him or blow “smoke.” But Cedric is right, you can’t really have your wife following you to work for that, it’s too distracting.

77. SmartPeopleOnIce
    February 26th, 2007 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations Weasel Boy and runners up!

    Alas, for me.. nothing. Today is dark as Sylvia Plath reading Funky Winkerbean in a Soviet coal mine. From now on, everytime my brain isn’t funny, I’m gonna stab it with a Q-tip [/homer].

    On the plus side, Pixelgirl shop still loves me! Woo-hoo! Eat that COTW winners! Though she keeps callin’ me up to tell me she’s late. I’m like, der-hey, then buy a watch. I’m thinkin’ with the traffic Josh sends her way, she should be able to get a nice Casio. Sheesh.

    PS: Lapsnorkel! Tee-hee!

78. Little Guy
    February 26th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Perhaps tomorrow we’ll have Mike sinffing the dogs’ butts as he tells them that his book will be published in the fall?

79. Virginia
    February 26th, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to CoTW winner Weasel Boy and all the runners-up! Having all this humor in one post helps while waiting for today’s comic snarks to come up.

80. Canuckguy
    February 26th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of the “solutions” to Slylock Fox, it reminds me of a similar strip that ran back when I was actually of the target age group (which would be a bit more than 20 years ago now) which lacked the cartoon animals (instead, it was young human detectives drawn in a less “cartoony” style (like in MW or RMMD)

    Anyways, we had to figure out why the letter the star of the strip received was a fake. The answer? Because “the date on it [as actually depicted in the strip] was February 30. There is no February 30.” To which I thought: “Well, DUH! I caught that! I just thought it was using a fake date because it’s not *real*! (Like how all phone numbers in comics-land are 555s) I guess I was too smart for my age back then.

    Damn, wish I could remember the name of that strip.

81. Uncle Lumpy
    February 26th, 2007 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    #80 Canuck -

    Was the boy detective wearing a Sherlock Holmes overcoat and a deerstalker hat? Was the girl blond?

82. Buck Ripsnort
    February 26th, 2007 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    I am appalled. Appalled! When I saw A3G this morning, it looked like a fiber-rich offering for the College. “I am energy!–And I am all around you!” surely deserves its own Tshirt. As for the last panel, I was psychically deafened by a thousand Curmudgeons crying out, “But it sure ain’t what genius looks like, LuAnn!“

83. Canuckguy
    February 26th, 2007 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Lumpy (81)

    It’s been a while, but I think so …

All the cool kids…

…buy Comics Curmudgeon merchandise!

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