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For Better Or For Worse, 3/30/05

The baby-pimping horror doesn’t end here, though. Not by a long shot.

For $75, you earn the right to take the little angel to next year’s “Take Your Child To Work Day” and earn the cooing adoration of all your coworkers.

For $250, you can give this precious gift from God the name of a beloved, deceased relative. For the corporate rate of $400, you can christen the precious darling with the name of your newest product as part of your marketing strategy.

For $800, this delightful child will, from the ages of seven to fourteen, be legally bonded to you and your heirs as an indentured servant, cleaning your home, cooking your dinner, and doing whatever other light manual labor you may require.

For $1,500, you get to eat the baby.