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Luann, 4/22/05

Like, oh my God, Luann’s going to do the high school drama storyline that never ever fails to entertain: one person, one dance, two dates! I’m sure we have several weeks of stressful wackiness in store as Gunther tries to figure out how to say no to either Luann or Bernice (who asked him yesterday, for those not following along), possibly living in fear and panic until the night of the dance itself, when the monstrousness of his deception becomes apparent and both young women, their faith in their fellow humans tragically abused, discover Gunther’s two-timing and stalk off, enraged, with none of the three ever talking to any of the others ever again. Oh, the hilarity!

For the record, as a high school student my social situation bore a passing resemblance to Gunther’s, and for me the scenario played itself out a little differently. First, I wouldn’t ask anyone out because I was too terrified. Then, nobody would ask me out because they didn’t like me or (more likely) didn’t know I existed. Finally, the night of the dance, I would stay home and read Isaac Asimov novels or watch Perfect Strangers on TV. The end.