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Here’s today’s COTW, which is short and sweet and made me laugh like a hyena:

“Dr. Hweb Blog” –Jarin Udom, on Facebook

And the very hilarious runners up!

“Happy Mother’s Day from all of us at Mark Trail! Unless you’re an elephant! Then you’re stuck with an oversized brain that leaves mother elephants like you with an enhanced capacity to despair and grieve for your dead children! You even have the guilt to bury them yourself and the memory to endure the pain for years! Happy Mother’s Day!” –jroggs

“THIS WAS NOT ON THE INSIDE THE ACTOR’S STUDIO SYLLABUS, JAMES LIPTON” –pastordan

“This is a surprisingly complicated joke. In reality, the term ‘tree hugging‘ doesn’t mean ’embracing trees as though they were human.’ It means ‘going to extraordinary lengths to protect trees from being cut down.’ So does the talking, sentient tree in this strip want to die, having grown tired of its solitary, stationary existence? Or is the tree willing to sacrifice its own life to further the cause of capitalism? ‘Get away, you fool! They’re going to build a Lens Crafters on this spot!’” –Joe Blevins

“He looks like a tree hugger … and a tree kisser to me if you know what I mean and I think you do. But if you don’t, what I mean is smoking marijuana.” –that guy

“As usual, Daisy is the most entertaining aspect of this strip. I just love how she wakes up, smiles as she realizes what’s about to happen, and then sets herself up for a front-row seat in the kitchen to enjoy the ensuing mayhem. Daisy knows what that’s all about, and she’s LOVING it.” –pugfuggly

“Alice’s hair is protruding out of the panel, as the first step in escaping the patriarchal nature of the 50s-era comic strip.” -Pozzo

“I don’t know about you guys, but the idea of Mark pounding the living shit out of an argumentative modal realist gives me ten times the anticipatory pleasure of any number of poachers, bank robbers, crooked senators, or confused sheriffs. I want the blows to land just as he uses the term ‘indexical,’ turning his nose and teeth into a reducible set of body parts and fluids. ‘Keep talking and you’ll need more than a reliance on counterpart theory,’ Mark says, tossing a copy of Kripke’s response onto the sand where the blood was pooling.” –James Dowd, on Facebook

“Are … are Mark’s nipples erect? I mean I knew he liked dishing out nature facts but, geez, this is supposed to be a family strip. Someone cover Rusty’s eyes.” –Truckosaurus

“So I guess it’s the strongly matriarchal society of Hootin’ Holler, in which only women are allowed high-caloric luxuries like dessert, that’s caused the menfolk to shrink into physically stunted grotesques. But the good news is that we can finally stop blaming the moonshine.” –BigTed

“All I can think of looking at today’s Mark Trail is the horrific sunburn awaiting these pasty people.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“I love the attitude of the Mark Trail colorist. Let’s see: Polka dots vs. Tiger stripes? New hair style? Could this be a completely different character? Aw, screw it, I am NOT scrolling up to that color bar again.” –Col Havoc.

“Wow. Everybody involved with this whale is aggressively and unaccountably furious. How DARE this whale strand itself at our exclusive beach resort. We paid good money and this ecolodge can’t even keep the beach free of filthy cetaceans.” –Escape Zeppelin

“Well, you pretty much have already given up your privacy when you go to Doctor Blog. He’s posting about Leroy’s ED while he’s still sitting there! ‘Flaccid has two c’s,’ Loretta helpfully adds.” –Aphthakid

“After all he’s been through, Wilbur still doesn’t know how to hold a goddamn phone.” –Tom the Sailor Man

“What? No, this is your therapist. I said your problems are whack.” –Rob Carlson

“Look before you ‘lease’! And you know what I mean by ‘lease’! Wink wink. I … literally mean lease. Nudge nudge.” –Bootis

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