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Hello all! I am taking a break for some extended family time, so your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be taking the guest-blogging reins until December 3. He can’t bear to choose from amongst all you lovely commenters, so here is your comment of the next several weeks:

“It looks as if Mary, not wanting Saul to revert to grumpiness, had the old man and his dog bronzed and placed in the park as tribute to her wisdom.” –Maltmash3r

Your runners up are also very funny!

“I don’t know why that woman needs to see paintings when she could be admiring the perspective-defying staircase that somehow begins two feet from a wall, yet rises away to infinity.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“The guard sighed. Once again a philistine had missed the entire point of the ground floor gallery, On the Commercialization of Art, a conceptual and interactive installation art piece, purchased at great expense from a private collector in Prague. ‘The traditional art is upstairs,’ he sneered, omitted even the courtesy of a ‘ma’am.’ Some people just weren’t worth the trouble.” –Voshkod

“I’d like to think that Mary Worth’s ring tone actually consists of the words ‘RING! RING!‘, because you know that the phone is actually whispering to itself ‘bo-RING! bo-RING!’ based on years of experience in listening to her conversations.” –seismic-2

“Either the pregnancy test just came back positive, or the rabies test did.” –lumaca morente

“How Mary relaxes at home? Well, she answered the phone with her left hand.” –Ettore

“Yarrr … ’tis the very toucan that gave me this scar!” –Harold

“Good question! Maybe when your mom and ‘Uncle Troy’ finish up in there and she unlocks the door, we can go look that up.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Thanks to Mark Trail for depicting what having a monkey on your back must look like if what you’re addicted to is sugary breakfast cereal. Truly, a Reefer Madness for our times.” –Damian

“Because at night the sun must do battle with the serpent god Apophis in order to prevent the world from plunging into chaos. What are they teaching kids in school these days?” –TheDiva

“Maybe Thel shouldn’t have made a pot of coffee for the kids.” –nescio

“It’s hard to believe that technology in Hootin’ Holler has advanced to the point that firearms have rifling.” –Flonatin of Bologna

“Nice that the Keanes managed to find another family nearby with a brood of similar, yet slightly uglier, children. Must be good for the whole family’s self esteem!” –pugfuggly

“My grandmother used to have a phone just like that on the wall in her kitchen — except of course it was a rotary dial. A nice memory, just in time for Thanksgiving. The bad news is, it might be 30 more years before the people my age are all dead and there’s finally no more reason for the syndicate to keep carrying Family Circus.” –Peanut Gallery

“No, no, cat — when I say ‘me,’ you say ‘ow.’ Now let’s try it again!” –Pozzo

“Mary knows that cats steal babies breath when they sleep, so she is seriously considering getting one.” –Rusty

“I dunno, Henry’s checkered jacket suggests he’s getting ready for an evening at a casino or the track. That may not be Dennis’ idea of a good time, but at least he’s getting some experience with the kind of joint he’ll be wanting to case when he reaches his full potential as an adult criminal.” –BigTed

“Of all the objections I could make to this cartoon, I’ll limit myself to the fact that Beetle can somehow wear his own hat, complete with brim, under the General Halftrack mask, which has a brimmed hat of its own. No, Greg Walker, no. That is the point past which I can no longer suspend my disbelief.” –Joe Blevins

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