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FOLKS!!! With the receding of Omicron, our beloved janky LA theater the Clubhouse is reopening for real and the Internet Read Aloud is COMING BACK, in just two weeks!

Prepare your body and soul now for great live comedy about the internet! Here’s the Facebook event, if you’re interested! We used to have the show at 8 but now it’s at 7, so be sure to come at 7 if you come!

And no matter what your show-attending status, please enjoy this week’s top comment!

“Imagine the shock of taking a job as a community college adjunct when your whole image of teaching is a husband who’s so firmly tenured he can get away with that beard. Sorry you won’t be engaging the head of your department in a war of words through the correspondence section of a philology journal while your TA handles the class load, Toby. Here’s your two grand, though.” –Dan

Your runners up: also very funny!

“Mister Wilson had his epiphany at a Catholic Church, obviously, and it happened right after Vatican II, when the priest switched to a vulgate mass and he could no longer get in a quality nap.” –Rex_Thrillho, on Twitter

“Trooper Megan should not be encouraging the creation of more Pied-Noirs. That way lies the fall of the Fourth Republic. Stop thinking tactically, Megan, and start thinking strategically!” –Voshkod

“Researching the Crock mystery (reading the strip’s Wikipedia page to try to figure out why it still appears) I found the claim that Crock’s fort is found in Toon Lagoon in the Islands of Adventure at the Universal Studios theme park. What do the kids think of this? It’s like if Disney World included a shout-out to my great-grandfather’s third-favorite brand of macassar oil.” –matt w

“‘Wait — what if our audience doesn’t immediately realize that’s Cookie and Alexander and just think a different artist is drawing Blondie and Dagwood? We need something to identify them as teenagers!’ ‘How about if I put some of those iPodPad thingies in their hands? That should do the trick.’ ‘Brilliant! And it shows we’re still on the cutting edge!’” –Pozzo

“Thanks honey! Even though we are somewhat different in age, you’ve always been supportive of me during our 12-year marriage that we have spent living here in Charterstone. Is that enough exposition? Can we move on the the story now?” –pugfuggly

“In the 1930s there were readers who furiously shipped Nina and Skeenix as much as any modern YA protagonists, but they are now all dead and left without a trace on AO3. Sic transit gloria mundi.” –Ettorre

“Hell yeah hyped for the Barney Google & Snuffy Smith Vs Unbeatable Squirrel Girl multimedia crossover event. Gotta read every newspaper but also buy like fifteen different random ongoing comic book series to have any idea what’s going on with anything. By Sunday Jughaid’s gonna be brandishing the Infinity Gauntlet with Man-Thing and Devil Dinosaur lunging at him and if you didn’t read Howard The Duck vol 8 issues 1-4 you’ll be totally lost.” –The Great Joe Bivins

“Yesterday, we learned that this young lady didn’t have Mason, her mentor, in her phone contacts. Today we learn that she doesn’t have an agent.” –Rusty

“‘You’re up’ for an Oscar nomination! By which I mean, your name appeared in the credits for a feature-length movie publicly screened on film for paid admission for at least seven days in Los Angeles County during the awards year!” –Uncle Lumpy

“I don’t understand this sequence of events. Did Dolly leave art class, swing by Whitney’s place, bring Whitney to the house, escort her twenty feet into the kitchen without closing the door, and then make this announcement to someone, I’m assuming one of her parents (who knows, could be the dog, Grandpa’s ghost, a lamp, etc.) completely unprompted? Now what? Does she turn Whitney around and frog-march her smug, bathroomier-than-thou ass right back through the open door? (I’m so mad about the open door. Are the Keanes heating and/or air-conditioning the whole neighborhood?)” –els

“Funky Winkerbean has the advantage of making its readers feel like industry insiders, because anyone can look at today’s strip and go, ‘Wait, I KNOW that’s not how that works!’” –TheDiva

“‘The learning never stops.’ ‘It sure doesn’t! Why, since we’ve been married I’ve learned what an insufferable pompous bore you are and just last week I learned what a community property state was.’” –But What Do I Know?

“Nessie?? Peyronie’s Disease is a tragic and stigmatizing condition that affects as many as 1 in 11 men! It is NOT something to make light of! Get me Scott and Borgmann’s contact info! Time to cancel these MFers so hard that they’ll WISH they’d only said ‘sucks’ in 2008.” –Dunkelcopter

“Very nice, Brenda! Good job tracing over anime clip art. You gave it an exquisite ‘royalty-free’ quality.” –2+2=7

“I’m not saying Toby is flirting with Cal, but if she were, ‘I really like the way you use negative space’ is the kind of stilted, stupid language she’d use.” –nescio

“If you’re using a wheelbarrow as a walker, why would you be carrying an unnecessarily heavy load of lumber and bricks? Apparently you’re a plugger if you’ve moved to earthquake-prone Calabria and a wheelbarrow full of rubble is your ‘villa.’” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

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