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Your comment of the week! Here it is! The best one! I decree it!

“Yesterday we learn today is World Sleep Day, and today Dagwood is celebrating by not only being conscious at work, but also actively good at his job? He’s not even putting people to sleep with his presentation! #NotMyDag” –Drew Funk

And your runners up! Also very funny!

“I was going to complain about the ‘Elsewhere’ narration suggesting that the kidnappers immediately manifested at Warbucks’ place, but the business about it being 8 o’clock makes clear that they did immediately manifest at Warbucks’ place. Are Sirob and Warbucks working out of the same building? That’ll make for some awkward elevator conversation.” –matt w

“[crossing off ‘Hawaii’ and ‘Arizona excluding the Navajo Nation’ on my massive conspiracy board of where the Flagstons live]” –Schroduck

“The saddest day of my life was the time I didn’t realize it was the day I needed to adjust my clocks until I read Hi and Lois. I swear, if I ever learn anything from Dustin I’m walking into a forest never to interact with civilization again.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“The real crime mystery is who stole Slick Smitty’s nipples.” –Baja Gaijin

“God the look on that beaver’s face is bleak. And for good reason: even his pre-‘event’ ancestors were hydraulic engineers, and here he is sweeping out chimneys like a common squirrel. Looks like the revolution didn’t pan out for everyone.” –pugfuggly

“I also thought it was Jeffy speaking the first line, and that the woman had a great comeback. Adults should get a chance to say a darndest thing once in a while, too!” –Peanut Gallery

“How exactly do you know someone’s dead in Judge Parker? Because stiff, wooden and cold ain’t exactly a dividing line here.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“It’s either this or a gun obsession. Yay?” –taig

“The elevator inspector’s face looks like it’s tired of telling the gasoline lobbyists that, yes, while it’s technically possible to create a lift that is powered directly by fossil fuels, ventilation safety and the absolutely certaint carbon monoxide poisoning mean he cannot approve it and they must use electricity. That is the spark that broke the stranglehold of gasoline on this backward city.” –Philip

“Todays Mary Worth is giving me a definite ‘Recently-retired readers! Are you in a black depression because, absent your former work, your life lacks structure and purpose? Have you considered a hobby?’ feeling.” –Ken

“At last, the kind of wrestling I’m used to seeing on TV. If they start smashing each other with folding chairs, this will finally be an amateur sport worth watching. ‘Can you smell what the [public school student who probably took this up just to get out of running drills in gym class and now might be arrested for attempted manslaughter] is cooking?!!!’” –BigTed

“The word’s also out that the only sexually available female at Camp Swampy loves Rodgers and Hammerstein. Tomorrow: Killer, Plato, Rocky, and Zero perform ‘There is Nothing Like a Dame,’ and get court-martialed for being waaaay out of uniform.” –ValdVin

“Are we sure these three characters just like to sleep? We have a middle-aged man stuck in a dead-end job with an abusive boss, a soldier without career advancements with a physically abusive sergeant, and a cat trapped indoors without stimuli. Maybe they are all just clinically depressed.” –Ettorre

“Here’s the thing that bothers me. If the ‘slug’ in ‘slugfest’ refers to literal slugs, rather than slugging someone, there’s nothing in there that suggests it’s a fight at all. Would this be funnier if these bewildered boxing fans were instead watching a crowd of slugs partying it up at SlugFest of the Century, the centennial gastropod convention? Perhaps not, but it wouldn’t be any less funny either.” –Horace Broon

“You have to sympathize with Harry here. It’s pretty hard to get it up when your spouse cannot get through a simple act of procreation without rambling about cheap places to buy abandoned children.” –jroggs

“They’re in the business of old-timey presentation paperboards and pointing sticks. And business is … not good.” –Bill Loguidice

“I recognize that car — it’s a TP Cruiser.” –Dyna Moe

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