They don’t use cell phones because coverage is so bad, because of the hills
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No comment of this truncated week, folks — we’ll let pugfuggly have the place of pride till next Friday!
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/3/25
OK, Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, you have to decide: is Hootin’ Holler an impoverished and isolated community in one of America’s neglected rural byways, or is it, you know, in the past? “Hillbilly times,” or whatever? You could be forgiven for saying “Josh, it’s obviously in the past, what are you talking about” but if that’s the case, then how come the strip’s hillbillies know about bitcoin and pickleball, huh, smart guy? Anyway, my point is that Jughaid absolutely does not know what a pocket watch is, nor does he understand the modern industrial economy, because if he did he’d know that Santa isn’t about to retool his entire production line just because one kid wants a pocket watch, c’mon.
Tina’s Groove, 1/3/25
“Say,” you’re probably wondering, “does Tina, the title character of Tina’s Groove, a comic strip currently in reruns that Josh talks about extremely intermittently on his blog, have much a love life?” Answer: she does, and it’s just as depressing as everything else she has going on. I do like that this guy has a picture of her on his desk, where to me she looks as shockingly depressed as she always does. It’s like he looked right into her gloomy soul and decided “Sure, whatever,” and I think that’s sweet.
115 replies to “They don’t use cell phones because coverage is so bad, because of the hills”
BG&SS: Pocket watches are often a family heirloom, passed ceremoniously from father to son, but we’re talking Snuffy here, so that thing went for ‘shine way yonder back.
MW: OK, OK, let’s have Dirk suffer a disfiguring accident. Then Dawn will have to love him for his sterling character alone.
SSBG: Santa might have denied Jughaid the pocket watch he wanted, but the dude DID make sure to gift the kid that Peter Pan-collared jacket. Tomorrow, the strip will likely feature the other boys in the class pounding Jughaid into the dirt at recess.
Wary Morth:
If this does not end with a pregnant Dawn going to Mary for advice after Dirk dumps her, I will be very disappointed.
RMMD-Look on the bright side one year older and not anymore smarter.
RMMD-“Life is brutal.”
MW-I guess if you’re handsome being an insulting chauvinistic jerk will get you far.
BG&SS: But he still wears a dead animal on his head so there’s that.
Zits Spanish to English.
BG&SS shows off its timeless sense of humor!
No seriously. Hootin’ Holler is stuck before 1914, as WWI largely killed the pocket watch.
Curtis: Okay, Blond Girl. It’s five years, you should know the drill: Mouth and Nose.
Candorville: OG or Reboot? Because if you do OG, you have to watch 1980 as well.
Blondie: Oh, that Scrappy. She probably makes oversized sandwiches made of pastry.
GA: Other mother cats look around and mee-meow for their missing offspring, then start to tear up the upholstery and knock stuff off tables.
MW: He’s such an asshole, he’s look at her food rather than her boob-window.
GT: “Then you should have served him in a Sippie Cup.”
Blondie: In case you were wondering if Dagwood’s insatiable appetite extends to sex, the answer is yes as Blondie tests the waters with Maya.
JP: The camera pulls back to show Alan speaking to an empty chair in the Sunrise Senior Center and Memory Care facility.
BG&SS: I misread Jughaid’s response as “Fault my taint, Miz Prunelly!” and I think it improves the comic.
MW: I feel like this arc was meant to be Moy’s damage control for how vegans were portrayed in the Keith plot, but instead it just reads like aggrieved incel ranting about how women always go for jerks instead of “nice guys.”
MW – This would have worked a lot better if Dirk the Jerk wasn’t eating the exact same thing as Dishrag Dawn.
Tina’s Groove: I recently caught a philosophy podcast episode about how embracing nihilism can in fact be a productive experience, in that it teaches us to accept our contingency and interdependence with a world beyond the boundaries of the self. Tina plays Katerina to her guy’s Raskolniknov here, is what I’m saying, expect ax murders and other wacky hijinks.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: There is only one man who wears, and therefore only one source of, a pocket watch in Hootin’ Holler, and that’s Sheriff Tait. <extremely movie trailer voice>Can Santa overcome his chicken-stealin’ ways and defeat the Final Boss to get Jughaid to school on time, opening a path for him out of grinding poverty and hillbilly backwardness? No. No, he cannot.</voice>
Blondie: Ah yes, the holidays, a perfect time for caterers to go on vacation.
DT: Today – stuff happens, apparently, maybe, I guess. No, you don’t get to know what is happening. That’s none of your business. You’re just left to wonder what on Earth kind of outfit the mayor(?) is wearing, why Sam’s government documents keep transforming back and forth from physical papers to digital computer files, and exactly what kind of injury turns someone into a secret Nazi terrorist.
H&L: Behold the rare Brigman variant of the northern cardinal, seen here displaying none of the identifiable traits of its species no matter how easy they should be to draw. It’s safe to say Eric Reaves has no designs on the Mark Trail artist job.
JP: I don’t think Alan has realized yet that the only other person who could have possibly killed Don is Randy. That’s okay, though, because it doesn’t seem like Marciuliano has realized that, either.
GT: I don’t care if it’s only January 3rd. This is it. This is the worst comic strip of 2025. Beth is seriously claiming that she knowingly and willingly destroyed an addict’s recovery efforts out of spite because he was sitting next to someone bragging about a football game, then lying about the effort she made to prevent her own malicious sabotage, and then Gil is forced to apologize for not being understanding enough of her fragile mental state. Nothing can surpass this. These are degrees of convenient retconning and victimhood usurpation that Francesco Marciuliano would be embarrassed to employ. This is a level of “misogyny as virtue” that Karen Moy couldn’t even dream of. These are heights of hypocritical self-unaware moralizing that Tom Batiuk couldn’t reach with a space shuttle. This is the absolute worst. Fuck this and fuck Henry Barajas.
Holy crap, Jughaid’s a watch hipster. Like any watch snob, he’d spit on a quartz piece despite the more accurate timekeeping. Unlike any other watch snob though, he’s also spit on anything with a wrist strap. Suck it up and get a Casio, kid. You’ll still get to hold your head high in the watch collector community, and many models have an alarm.
MW: Usually one (and in this case I mean myself) can go out of town for a few days and not check Mary Worth and it will be like nothing ever happened. Somehow these last 4 or 5 days have seen Dawn fall in love? There’s also a Paradise by the Dashboard Light joke here that I’m just not quite able to harness…
BGSS I think the only thing more improbable than a kid in moden day using a pocket watch is a kid asking for one. What else was on his chrstmas list? A shoehorn and a subscription to the Farmers Almanac?
TG Hey fellows: If ever you lose your job and are looking for a great way to frame it to your significant ither, have I got a line for you!
FC: The Keanes regret inviting their Greek friends to last night’s party. Opa!
MW: this is ridiculous. Moy has Dawn falling in love with an arrogant piece of shit asshole who does nothing but treat her with contempt and insults. Even Dawn should know better. Can’t Moy come up with at least one re-fucking-deeming quality for the man other than his apparently good looks. I think I hate this storyline.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith – Timekeeping was a crucial technology of the Industrial Revolution and the rationalization of production, literally leading to the time zone we have to keep railroads running on schedule. Pocket watches may be old fashioned, but the inability to keep a schedule and arrive on time are among the myriad of problems holding back Hootin’ Holler from economic development. Jughaid often shows interest in some of these basic steps to self-improvement, but his environment tragically dooms him to another generation of poverty.
Tina’s Groove – This strip ended in 2017 after 15 years, and this specific one is dated 2010, the year that Cathy ended. Cathy was focused on the office life and push for women into corporate America in the 1970s, but given the pandemic era shift in views of waitstaff as “essential workers”, Tina’s Groove could have been the Gen Y version of the script., with a rotating cast of boyfriend met via dating apps and social media channels. Though it still would have been hard to get newspaper to accept use of the term “Fuckboy” to really reach the intended audience.
Dawn has always been shallower than a puddle in the Mojave in July, so this storyline is kind of believable.
MW: Dirk shows up with a hooker on their next date.
“I thought I’d spice things up, Nerdgirl.”
“Uh, okay, I guess.”
BGSS: “Instead, I got this Apple watch. I don’t need a watch to tell me about apples.”
TG: “You like World of Warcraft, right?”
Tina’s Groove – He quit his job because he values the relationship, and also, Tina pays more.
RMMD: If you added up the IQs of these two boys, the total would be well shy of the Farenheit freezing point.
CS: Looks like Batty is getting ready to retire, so he’s doing a dump of all the old crap that even he thought was too stupid to run before. He’s probably got a year’s worth. Easy payday.
Frazz: Caulfield, do you pay attention at all to your own strip? Do you think Frazz routinely joins the common herd in some smelly, sweat-splattered gym? Maybe you should ask for a transfer to RMMD or Gil Thorp, where you could spin your smug little self-absorbed observations on the local bullies.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Golf is a great way to build business relationships, boss… but you’re lousy at it!”
[Cart: NUTS]
“Some nuts for my company’s newest vice president!”
FC: I’ve always felt that children should be responsible for some household chores, but when the child has to stand on a tall stool wearing his slippery-soled red loafers to reach the sink… maybe he’s not yet ready for dishwashing duty. And it appears that Dolly was the one who broke the dish since she’s sneaking away with the pieces. Yes, Thel is sloshed, passed out on the sofa again, while her household runs amok.
DT: Poor Junior had a Jake Barnes happen to him during a dreadful KP accident, involving potatoes. Statistics show that a majority of U.S. officers who get their dicks lopped off with a paring knife turn to active Nazi murder.
BGSS: Miss Prunelly laughs because she knows how Jughaid feels. She didn’t get what she wanted for Christmas either (a blouse that buttons up in the front for a change).
TG: Guys who suddenly leave their job and claim they did so to work on their personal life tend to be fleeing from some sort of scandal or legal entanglement. I’m not saying Tina’s date was caught stealing company funds to pay for his OnlyFans subscriptions, but you know, I’m not NOT saying that.
JP: Mark my words, by Monday it’ll be ‘aaaaand so…’ and all change, probably to a storyline about CIApril’s mom Blythe Danner, who wasn’t really most sincerely dead when she blew herself up at Pavel’s House o’ Waifs n’ Bears.
@astroboy: ‘We secretly switched Dirk’s bowl of shredded pork with shredded tofu! Let’s see if he can tell the difference…’
JP: So facts don’t matter, only feelings do? And this guy was a judge? Well, I guess no one ever said he was a good judge. Sure, he looks the part, but deep down where it counts, he’s an imbecile.
MW: Dawn thought balloon: “Oh Dirk, you can be as abusive to me and dismissive of me as you want. You can call me a pathetic loser for all I care. I just want to gaze at your beautiful face. Because I am a pathetic loser.”
Luann: It’s nice to see a) Luann hasn’t corrected any of the flaws she has; b) Bernice has always been an asshole.
CS: This is a snark-proof comic strip. It’s definitely not because it’s good, mind you. I just feel kind of bad making fun of it.
9CL: Brooke is the master at misdirecting the reader into thinking his characters are engaging in a sex act, but they’re really not. Good show! /s
MW: Dawn is definitely attracted to Dirk’s vast imagination.
FC: It looks like Dolly is secretly eating the broken dish. Dolly, that is Jeffy’s shtick!
Dustin: Hayden decided not to go further with his fortune telling which shows Dustin harassing the woman who is obviously not interested in him.
C’shaft: Great, now Batiuk is stealing jokes from novelty t-shirts.
Curtis: So an elderly homeless person gets run down and dies but it’s okay because he’s with his mom in a vague afterlife. It’s like a Kwanzaa version of “Christmas Shoes.”
DT: Sam just realized nothing in this plot makes sense.
Dustin: Wow, Dustin’s family just shoots insults at him off the cuff, but this kid? He put effort into it. Got himself a Carnac turban and everything, just so he could tell Dustin he’s an unlovable loser. Now that is dedication to the bit.
GT: Okay, what the HELL is that thing on Beth’s face? A piercing? Most cheek studs are in the dimples or under the eyes, not by the nose. A beauty mark? Then why is it that weird necrotic blue color? Melanoma? Expect it to be discussed obliquely, dealt with off-panel and completely forgotten like Keri’s little medical emergency.
Luann: It’s funny because obsessively tracking your shortcomings is a sign of serious emotional and mental health issues.
MT: I did NOT have “Mark Trail gets attacked by furries” on my 2025 bingo card.
MW: First the glasses, now the utter desperation for attention that makes her ignore obvious red flags…Dawn really IS turning into her dad.
Phantom: Great idea, expose the secret lives of internationally wanted criminals on national television. That DEFINITELY won’t backfire on you or your business.
Pluggers think “namaste” comes with naan and basmati rice.
9CL – It’s funny, because everyone thought they were seeing a drawing of the “O” face of a teenager having sex, when really Brooke was just making us think it was a drawing of a teenaged boy making his “O” face!
Well, not really funny, more like disturbing, actually, especially when you consider that he’s going to be doing this regularly from now on.
He should have every panel include little notes with arrows so we know which character is which, or can at least pretend to care.
I gotta say, Comics Kingdom now blows. I haven’t been there since they redesigned it and now it’s full of old folks whom daily strips are made for and all of the funny snark is pretty much banned.
BGSS Of course, he had to ask Santa for a pocket watch, there’s no way Snuffy could have spent time in a North Vietnamese prison camp.
MW “And for my entree, I’ll have the shredded green wrapping paper, dressing on the side, please.”
@LTJpezcore1:
Well this *is* Dawn we’re talking about…
@astroboy: Yeah, but Dawn’s salad in her entire meal, and Dirk is only eating a dinner salad, which he ordered with a side of lamb chops.
MW: All these red flags in Dawn’s new relationship! Dirk is undermining the heart-felt belief in veganism that Dawn has held for the last 45 minutes! Why is Dawn “starting a vegan diet” anyway? Doctor’s advice? A concern for animals, and, by extension, someone other than herself? Or is it because the writer threw a dart at a list of possible personality traits and it landed on “veganism”?
Snuffy Smith: That weird “sticking their tongue out” expression that Snuffy Smith characters do when they’re supposed to be laughing is beginning to make me think that the comic takes place in some alternate universe where mankind evolved from chameleons.
Tina’s Groove: Tina’s boyfriend seems to take a page out of the Wilbur Weston book of romance. Those endearing quirks of his will get him laid in no time, the weird karaoke-addicted stalker said so!
Snuffy Smith: Jughaid came to school in a squirrel-skin hat, with a book on squirrel hunting and a lunch sack full of, well, squirrel. If he got anything in his Christmas stocking other than a few poached squirrel brains, I would be surprised — and, heck, those were secretly put there by his mom. As for a pocket watch? His pa had been waiting for one of those hip fans of authentic Appalachian folk music to come through town so he could swipe one, but that doesn’t happen so much since Dylan went electric.
Tina’s Groove: I’m not sure how this happened, but Tina seems to be dating Al Jolson.
Mary Worth: Sure, this dude is a horrible jerk and we’re all sick of this storyline already. But, Dawn, when you order “a shredded-lettuce salad with no toppings and no dressing,” people are gonna say stuff.
GA: Doggone it…this almost had me in tears.
@Lauralot: This arc did begin with a mention Dawn’s renewed friendship with Jared, so….
BG&SS – Time doesn’t have the same meaning here, what with the unemployment and meth….
TG – What he says and what he means: Work full-time on our relationship means while you’re working to support us, I’ll stay at home and wank to cyber porn….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Professor Well Actually: AKA: A day ending in a “y”.
MW: “Dirk, you gorgeous hunk…just let me gaze into your perfect face, snuggle into your perfect arms, and you can say and do anything you want to me…*sigh* *swoon*…”
Dawn, I’m calling you “stupid.”
Crank: Who knew Ed was a Richard & Linda Thompson fan? Rock on, old man.
Alternate Snark: To cite Louis Armstrong and R. Crumb, “If you don’t know by now, Mac, don’t mess with it.”
DTM: So seriously, what could George have possibly said to provoke this response?
BB: Beetle’s into it, but from the look on Sarge’s face, this is a level of kink he’s not prepared to deal with.
Six Chex: They still don’t know what a “punchline” is.
The Mysterious Vaguely Disgusting Thing on Beth’s Face in GT: Beth was aimlessly wandering around the RMMD universe and ran into Bucky’s ex-wife and her nail gun.
Dr. Rex: “If I remove that, young lady, your brains might seep out the hole in your cheek. Just get used to it.”
Gassed Up Alleycats: MeowMix’s thought bubble —- “Couldn’t one of you kids taken the smelly old guy?”*
* In the feline tongue.
Is Dawn auditioning for the part of Elaine Bennis in the Seinfeld movie reboot?
Shoe: “Mojitos. Remember. You ordered them. That’s how it works. You say what you want and I bring it to you. I’m cutting you off.”
Snuffy Smith – Look, I love a good bespoke timepiece as much as the next young person, but I don’t know a school in the US that’s in session the week after Christmas. Unless they celebrate Confederate New Year in his state, which is some time in May. So, maybe that explains it.
I remember the Tina’s Groove artist showing once that she isn’t actually depressed all the time. Her bangs are just shaped in a way it looks like she’s permanently like this <:|
@Decima Dewey: It would have been interesting if Dawn had started her vegan diet to go against her father’s influence. But then she gets the option to trade it for a hot guy, which Dawn instantly does. Later, when she gets betrayed by this obviously too-good-to-be-true man, she’d have to face the fact that now she’s even more like Wilbur than she ever feared. Giving Dawn’s veganism relevance could have lent given some actual weight to this dumb, repetitive story.
@Anonymous: LOL touche, touche….
MW: Dirk scratches his head. “You like No Scrubs by TLC too, Turdgirl?”
@Miyo: Well, Rina Piccolo should have CHANGED THE HAIRSTYLE. You can’t just make a statement to the Comics Journal or on Wikipedia and assume your readership is going to see it and remember it.
Between the “worried eyebrows”-shaped bangs, the fact Tina never smiles, and the gallery of grotesques with which she interacts, no wonder her readership of literally dozens thought Tina is morbidly depressed.
MW: c’mon Karen give this piece of shit a redeeming quality, just one.
6C – And Granny is going to go home and clean out her ears, and she’s going to rub her car down with the collected lipids, because the key to keeping your 1965 VW Beetle Convertible looking that good into the 21st century is Turtle Wax!
BG&SS, meta: You could be forgiven for saying “Josh, it’s obviously in the past, what are you talking about” but if that’s the case, then how come the strip’s hillbillies know about bitcoin and pickleball, huh, smart guy? I dunno, the same way Hägar knows about pizza and golf? Although, actually, now I think about it, if Hägar is set in some questionably accurate 21st century Viking re-enactment village, it’d explain a lot of things…
Crank: “Your mind starts to drift towards
life’s big questionsvery old jokes…”DT: Lights! Phone calls! Documents! All the things we knew were happening are continuing to happen!
Curtis: So, if you die and nobody knows your name, you forget it yourself, and have to spend the afterlife with whatever name you’re assigned by the ER? Honestly, narration box, I’m too busy being bewildered to be sad.
HtH: Apparently, the Viking re-enactment village used to be a Western re-enactment village. They changed the “Saloon” sign to say “Tavern”, but haven’t got round to replacing the swing-doors yet. (They also don’t care that there weren’t any taverns in 10th century Scandinavia; like I said, it explains a lot of things.)
Phantom: “Will he murder the camera crew out of a desperate hope that this is less likely to blow his cover than letting them broadcast his face across the UK? That’s the sort of excitement the public want!”
I’m still not sure who the other two guests are based on. I tried a reverse Google Image search, but it inevitably focused more on the fact it’s a comic than anything else, so suggested Gloria or Ann from Judge Parker (impressively identifying Manley’s style) and Ncuti Gatwa (as portrayed in the Doctor Who Magazine comic strip), rather than finding photos that match the appearance and (I suspect importantly, since they never change) poses.
MW: at some point Dawn will introduce Dirk to Cathy who will instantaneously despise, which will lead her to be alienated and isolated until Mary intervenes on Dirk’s behalf.
FC – Billy is washing the dishes? That’s wimmens work!
Dolly should be the one on washing duty. Crash! “Oops – that one was skippery.”
Mary Worth – I’m not sure what Moy is going for here. All I’m getting out of this story is that Dirk is a grade A asshole with no redeeming qualities, and Dawn is a shallow jerk who will abandon her principles and put up with bullying because the guy is good looking. I wonder what platitudes will apply to this mess.
Rex Morgan – The big winner in the comics today is Jeffy Keane. Congratulations, Jeffy! You’re no longer the biggest imbecile in the comics.
9CL – Brooke is on a “how much innuendo can I put in here” streak. How junior high.
@Decima Dewey: I think Lauralot has it right; this was meant to course-correct the previous portrayal of vegans as either silly girls who need protected by manly father figures or lying creeps who need to be threatened by manly father figures, by making the vegan a sympathetic character (well, Dawn) and the anti-vegan an asshole.
That’s also, I suspect, why Dirkhead’s negging is so blatant; if he was even slightly subtler in his contempt for veganism, he’d sound exactly like Keith Bellend! And, in Moy’s mind, Keith wasn’t an asshole, so that can’t be right! Of course, Dirkhead’s blatant assholery makes Dawn look even more foolish in love than Sonia, but that’s Mary Worth for you.
@astroboy: @Ukulele Ike: I’m surprised that Dirk didn’t tell the waiter, “I don’t want anything green. Give me a double order of fries.” On top of the triple order of meat.
Curtis-It’s cadaver time for Ol’ Joe for a medical student.
@I speak Jive: I wonder what platitudes will apply to this mess.
Mary’s already given it: one shouldn’t rush into love. The fact Dawn’s done exactly that after being told this means that when it all comes crashing down, Mary’s next platitude will be the ever popular “Guess who was right all along?”
@28 Peanut Gallery:
I like that squirrel. It’s a good cartoon squirrel. Not as good as what Harry Bliss draws in “Bliss” but is much better than the squirrels in “Rose Is Rose” who have big red unnatural bulbous clown noses.
FC: Even though they’re over a week late I’ve got to give the Keane kids a little credit for following the Boxing Day tradition of switching traditional roles. Billy is the family narc and Dolly is the village idiot. That means somewhere in the house Jeffy is wearing PJ’s onesie and shitting himself.
Josh is correct about the morose expressions in Tina’s Groove. A strip that gives it a run for its money is Hi and Lois. They are so damn depressed most of the time.
@73 Guillermo el chiclero:
And P.J. is constantly picking his nose and eating the results.
@Sequitur: I agree. Also much better than the monstrosities that pass for squirrels in Beetle Bailey.
@76 Peanut Gallery:
You are correct. At least in Rose is Rose you know they’re suppose to be squirrels. In Beetle Bailey you don’t know if they’re suppose to be squirrels, dogs or even bears.
@Sequitur: #75: That or PJ has traded places with Barfy and is out in the backyard burrowing holes, chasing Kitty Kat, and eating cat turds.
TG – Until I was set straight by the ‘mudges, I thought Tina was supposed to be “Goth.” The heavy black eyeliner, the black hair, the (generally) black clothing, the eternal look of gloom on her mug….
I’m trying to come up with a comment that involves both Jughaid’s use of the word taint and the Timex tagline motto but I’m coming up empty.
@Guillermo el chiclero: PJ. Barfy, and (especially) Kitty are all smarter than Jeffy. Just sayin’.
@80 Nobody:
Actually, Timex has two slogans.
Knock yourself out.
MW: Looking at the bright side, at least Wilbur is gone for awhile.
@81 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol:
Don’t forget about their second mutt, Sam.
@Hibbleton: That deserves a float and/or a scrote.
TG: When your job is flexing a bicep and humming a few bass notes during Sha Na Na songs I think you’ve got plenty of relationship time.
JP: “I’ll always believe in you! Sure, you’re a longtime grifter and con artist who is very willing to exploit your own family when you feel the need, but you’re not a murderer! Probably! I’m pretty sure!”
RMMD: Arrrrrrgh. Why can’t the boys consistently look like they are a certain age and also consistently talk like they are that age? Why is that so difficult? Obviously the Evansii can’t manage it, but it should be possible here.
“OK, Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, you have to decide: is Hootin’ Holler an impoverished and isolated community in one of America’s neglected rural byways, or is it, you know, in the past?”
Option Three: Hootin’ Holler exists in a timeless pocket dimension a la “The Land of the Lost” into which bits and pieces and persons of all sorts of times and places have fallen, never to escape.
Except for Barney Google. He alone knows the ways in and out, and he’s not telling lest this backward, mishmash of a culture that has evolved there were to somehow spread to our realm.
9CL: Yeah, the bait-and-switch was obvious from the start, but I have no desire to see those expressions on Alistair’s face in any context. Certainly not up close.
Dustin: That’s not reading the future, it’s just reading the comic.
GA: Nice going, Walt and Gertie. You broke up Mee-Meow’s family, broke her heart, and whatever you guys set in motion, it will eventually end with humanity as a broken subject population entirely dependent on master trickster Slick Smitty for any hope.
GT: You didn’t know because it kind of seems like you don’t talk about stuff in general. Old habits die hard.
MT: Apparently this outdoor production of The Winter’s Tale has gotten out of hand.
MW: If you want to know what Dirk sees in Dawn, take a gander just north of the salad. If you want to know what Dawn, he’s a man paying some form of attention to her. Of course the same might be said of a serial killer, which shows that for the Westons “shouldn’t be alive” begins at home.
Phantom: Somebody please tell the maybe-Lenny-Henry-equivalent that if he really has to go he can just get up and walk to the loo. His grimace is painful to me.
RMMD: Strange to see how clearly Jeff Boomhauer spoke when he was a child. Wonder what happened.
BCN: Omigourd, is that their mother in the back of the fourth panel, and did she suffer from amnesia after the shipwreck and then become a nun or something? Just a wild guess.
Fifty years ago today newspapers were filled with ads for post-Christmas bargains on loud plaids and bell bottoms but unemployment was rising with raw numbers nearing Great Depression levels. American mourned the recent death of Jack Benny.
Meanwhile, Dick Tracy received a futuristic autopsy report of death by poisoned cocktail, Dagwood extracted a raise from Mr. Dithers and there was a new opening on Les’s school newspaper staff in Funky Winkerbean. Priscilla’s Pop engaged in mild banter about menswear, in Wee Pals a child dressed like Truman Capote discussed the origin of the Civil War, and Snoopy was wearing a coat of snow.
GA: Hoogy and Rover do not strike me as the kind of parents who will make sure that the kittens get all needed vet care, so I might worry except that all these alleged felines are aliens from Planet Gorp pretending to be cats. Hint for today, Alien Leader — cats do not actually shed giant tears. Also the size of your head is out of whack with the size of your body, you really should fix that.
@Smokey Stover: I enjoy these reports, thank you!
MT: That hairy being is only one “bear” and it is not at all large, so shoving two people to the ground who were walking a few feet apart does not seem to make much sense. *pauses to consider the entire story* Never mind, on second thought, it fits in perfectly.
@jroggs: DT: The mayor is wearing his/her municipal romper.
@Daisy: The Santa Royale Love Call – When I’m calling you-hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo; Yeah…you stupid….
@Lord Flatulence: I figured it was an ordinary suit jacket (below frame she’s wearing matching pants or skirt) but she’s accessorizing with her Robin-style Utility Belt, which never seemed to have any pockets or compartments but was always full of batarangs, nerve gas, smoke pellets, etc.
Incidentally, this is not the Mayor but the Mayor’s Chief Aide In Charge of Lighting Up Clock Towers. She’s been busy the past few weeks but it’s usually long lunch hours and lots of FreeCell.
@Guillermo el chiclero: #78: Also, Thel is spouting Biblical platitudes while HTT Grandma is sloshed out of her gourd on cheap gin and Fosters.
MW, tomorrow, after Dirk excuses himself and leaves thru the bathroom window:
Dawn: Another two-gallon salad.
Waiter: Haven’t you had enough?
Dawn: I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough!
@ValdVin: She’ll teach that Olive Garden. Unlimited Salad Bowl indeed….
@ValdVin: WWI largely killed the pocket watch.
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The Buggles ©1984 Synthetic Plastic Records
@GarrisonSkunk: The little pocket in Levi’s has been repurposed for a reserve bump of meth….
Why does Dawn want Dirk to call her “You gorgeous man, you” ? Is she planning to surprise Wilburp upon his return by becoming his son, Don? Gotta admit I didn’t see that twist coming.
@Sequitur: but is much better than the squirrels in “Rose Is Rose” who have big red unnatural bulbous clown noses.
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Careful, Baja will have nightmares from watching “Evil Killer Klown Squirrels From Outer Space”, the Rose Is Rose 3d movie, now with giant werevixens!
Six Chex: Why isn’t the turtle driving a Volkswagen Rabbit?
@105 GarrisonSkunk:
Public Service Announcement
@Miyo: Then redraw her to look happier than? (which would stop the assumptions?)
Tina’s Groove artist: MAKE ME!
@Horace Broon: I seem to remember, that Keith didn’t have an issue with them being vegans. But that Sonia had issues with him being a former cop and marine.
Although personally, while I have nothing against Vegans, Sonia and Brad were the “worst kind” of vegans, honestly. The ones who act holier than thou and push their views onto other people, and just act douchey about the whole thing really.
@Giant Pondering Otter: Also they give a bad name/stereotype towards vegans who have no personal issues with others eating meat. Making it look like all vegans have an agenda.
TG: When you have to work on your relationship with Tina full-time, it could be a Guy problem (I’ve decided his name is Guy). But it could be a Tina problem, we’re only seeing one side of it. Let’s bring a couples counselor into this for a third useful perspective.
@Giant Pondering Otter: I’m no vegan and have no plans to become one but it does feel like there should be a happy medium between “obnoxiously in-your-face about veganism” and “gives the whole thing up after ten minutes to get a terrible boyfriend.”
My sister is kinda a vegetarian. She won’t eat anything that walks around on earth but if it swims in water it’s fair game, especially game fish. She has also been known to partake of a chicken or egg dish on occasion.
And she doesn’t mind dining with someone who is eating meat. She won’t make fun of you or “tsk, tsk” you.
@Sequitur: My daughter-in-law is a vegetarian, but she will eat dishes cooked in chicken or beef broth as long as there isn’t any meat in them. It helps a lot, when I want my soups or stews to taste of something other than onion water.
@Ukulele Ike: Hey man, in my own way, I’m tasty.