Metapost: WOOO COTW WOOOO
Post Content
YEAH BOY IT’S TIME FOR THE COMMENT OF THE WEEK! WHEEEEEE
“When you walk around on a video call, how often do you keep the phone camera carefully framed to show your entire head and chest? How often do you make sure to keep your chest in the picture while you walk around the beach in a bikini? What about when the person on the other side of the call is your mother? And your mother happens to be staring at your enlarged picture on a several-foot-high screen, with an appraising look on her face? We already knew that each generation of The Phantom Family manages the sex life of the next one, but this storyline shows us there are aspects we haven’t seen before.” –Nevin, on Patreon
AND THE FUNNY RUNNERS UP TOO! YEEEHAW
“Hey, honey, how would you feel about cooking a lamb inside a lion for dinner tonight? Sort of a turducken thing I just thought of. No idea what we should stuff the lamb with yet. I think watching Animal Planet might help me with that one.” –Retraux_Rocket, on Twitter
“It’s the middle of the night, and there’s an entire blueberry pie in the refrigerator that Dagwood hasn’t even tasted yet? This actually does sound like a nightmare scenario for him! I guess it would be pointless to suggest he should get out a plate and fork before gobbling down a slice — heck, we should be happy that he didn’t just stick his entire face into the center of the pie and eat his way out.” –BigTed
“Personally, I appreciate the effort Dagwood puts into his alibis. He could just as easily have said, ‘Hey, honey, I’m gonna go eat an entire pie, alone, in the middle of the night, so … yeah.’” –Joe Blevins
“The FUSE: Fornication Under Sanction of Evans. It’s all coming together.” –Hibbleton
“‘LuannFan.com’ is really stretching things. ‘LuannTolerater.angelfire.com’ I could believe.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“To be a plugger is to have everything you ever loved fade away. Even fried food becomes a distant Fantasy. All that’s left is to sit 2 feet away from the TV set and wonder how the room got so small.” –Guts Dozier
“Crock is supposed to be a satire of Beau Geste, a novel no one now alive has probably ever read. But canonically the ‘heroes’ are English orphans raised in an upper class household and presumably exposed to the sexual deviancy common in upper class British households of the time. Good old Cecil may have taught him to ‘tie his shoe’ but I think we can all assume that the expression has nothing to do with footwear.” –Vanya
“But Peter received no answer for BC was stone dead, the cartilage of his shattered nose having been driven into his brain.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“With timeline drift, Dennis and Margaret are among the youngest members of Generation Alpha and as such, have no comprehension of Mr. Wilson’s crude 1950s gender stereotypes. Sorry, ‘homemaker’? We’re going to be living in a genderfluid polycule commune where all tasks are shared equitably! The future is now, old man!” –Dan
“Martha is surreptitiously filming this exchange for her YouTube channel, ‘Obnoxious shit my husband says to six-year-olds.’” –Lawyerbob
“‘Oh nuh, muh tonguh got stuk to tha clipbhord!’ ‘Mine tuh! Help uth, Thiffany!’” –Voshkod
“All Hi ever got from a sex drive was four kids who refuse to grow up and get out, so no big loss as far as he’s concerned.” –MKay
“I know the Hi and Lois team does not share my vision of the strip as character-driven (Lois is neurotically compulsive, Hi is crushingly aware of his inadequacies, neither can feel joy), and that’s why they never develop or even name Chip’s girlfriends. BUT THEY COULD AT LEAST REMEMBER THAT CHIP HAS BLOND HAIR.” –matt w
“Wilbur enters a typo for driving directions and they end up at Muay Thai. He is then forced into a battle royale. Prepare yourself for the art of the eight limbs, sandwich boy!” –Gil Bates
“[steps into blank beige space] Ah, spring, probably.” –pugfuggly
“Honestly, the most distasteful bit about this is the rhythm. A spondee followed by three thudding iambic pentameters? At least have the decency to create a complete decasyllabic verse, you hacks!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“We finally know who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp. I wouldn’t have guessed it was a mule, but now that I know, it makes a lot of sense.” –Peanut Gallery
[clears throat, much more serious voice] Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!
26 replies to “Metapost: WOOO COTW WOOOO”
Way to go, all, and here are the Scroters:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Where’s Rocky?
March 15th, 2025 at 4:29 am Reply
JP. I guess “I need to run an idea by you” is the new “Netflix and chill.”
Hibbleton
March 15th, 2025 at 4:58 am Reply
JP: In his latest boondoggle, New York City Mayor Adams installs hardwood flooring at all intersections.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 15th, 2025 at 12:58 pm Reply
Blondie: I feel like you could end with “did I hit a food trigger” or “honey, how ‘bout lamb tonight” and you’d have a joke. Not a great one, but functioning. Instead of a joke explanation for simpletons.
DD: Childless lifelong bachelor here, but I can only imagine that if I had an ex-wife who was also the mother of my infant child I’d avoid sentences that started with “So…” and ended with “and X got out of hand” unless they were absolutely necessary. Lack of freshly-baked cookies doesn’t qualify.
JP: Ah, I see Sophie is walking by the place where they’re holding the convention of Pepto Bismol mascots. It truly is the city that never sleeps.
Just John
March 15th, 2025 at 8:26 am Reply
JP: “I need to run an idea by you. If only we lived in an era where people could communicate verbally in some other way than face to face….”
ValdVin
March 15th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
MW: Nothing is more romantic than Belle first seeing a swimsuited Wilbur in the moonlight, unless it’s total darkness.
Liam
March 15th, 2025 at 5:42 am Reply
MW-Gah! We don’t need that image in our minds.
Cleveland Mocks
March 15th, 2025 at 6:22 am Reply
MW: OMG, just look at panel 2. I never, ever thought I’d see a man masturbating in a newspaper comic. I need a shower.
Needless Exposition
March 15th, 2025 at 9:27 am Reply
MW: Wilbur composes an email that he thinks is a romantic recollection. In reality, frat boys are spreading around the pictures of him in a Speedo as a hazing ritual to make their pledges vomit the cheap beer they’ve been drinking.
That’s why you don’t give out your email address to just anyone.
astroboy
March 15th, 2025 at 4:49 am Reply
MW – Wilbur BOLDS random WORDS…when he TYPES?
Little Blue Bicycle
March 15th, 2025 at 5:58 am Reply
MW: “PS, here’s the $5000 I owe you for the last two days you escorted me. Hope the rash clears up soon!”
Just John
March 15th, 2025 at 10:52 am Reply
Mary Worth: Stop it. This weather deep-dive is no doubt destined to get Belle all hawt and bothered, and not in a way that can be measured in Fahrenheit or Celsius, but this is supposed to be for family newspapers. Take it to Weatherporn.com please.
/edit – I just checked, and Weatherporn.com actually does exist but is not currently functional. Available for purchase though from a domain squatter, though. This must be some sort of Rule 34 corollary: “if it exists, and porn of it somehow doesn’t exist, that merely reflects a state of quantum uncertainty and there is still Schroedinger’s Porn of it.”
MKay
March 15th, 2025 at 4:43 am Reply
MW: Well, no WONDER Wilbur isn’t ready to resume his Wendy column! He’s too busy churning out these Pulitzer-worthy gems.
RMMD: Easy there, Augie. You hardly know Summer. Is she really worth going all Rambo for?
Myrtle
March 15th, 2025 at 10:58 am Reply
RMMD: One of the best kept secrets of Glenwood High is the Fight Club that Augie runs after school in the basement. The loyal students and alums would always be happy to do Augue a favor.
Doc Wonmug
March 15th, 2025 at 1:38 pm Reply
RMMD – it just came to me! “Augie” actually hired Stalky McGoatee, so that Summer would fall/get herded into Augie’s waiting arms! “Augie” doesn’t know a guy who could threaten Stalky, he’ll just call Stalky and say “thanks for the favor bruh!” Summer is Augie’s, to do with as he pleases! Except he’s Rene Belluso! He’ll bring Summer to some haunted gothic mansion, get her loosened up on some fine wine and silk lingerie, and teach her the Mirakle Method!
Horace Broon
March 15th, 2025 at 10:54 am Reply
RMMD: Dear Wendy,
Some unfortunate experiences with online dating have left me with a stalker who I’m trying to get a restraining order against. At the same time, I have met a guy who is perfect in just about every way. However, he’s proposing that murdering the stalker might be a simpler solution. Is this something I should be concerned about?
Girlfriend in Glenwood
Dear Girlfriend,
The past only exists in how you remember it. Once you’re rid of the stalker, you can pretend he never existed, and then it doesn’t really matter how you got rid of him, does it?
Wendy
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Dennis Jimenez
March 15th, 2025 at 5:03 am Reply
Blondie – Honey…could I slather your tits with mint jelly tonight….
Guillermo el chiclero
March 15th, 2025 at 8:10 am Reply
CS: Ok, that’s Ritchie Rich. Cute, but who’s old enough to get the joke? Oh wait, the average comic strip reader. Never mind.
TheDiva
March 15th, 2025 at 8:13 am Reply
C’shaft: Wasn’t the whole point of Richie Rich that he had so much money that he never did anything so plebeian as use publicly funded transportation, but arrived to school in a bus-yellow limousine with a pool and a water slide in the back?
Luann: Man, Tiffany is so shallow and self-absorbed! Unlike Luann, who once considered donating a kidney so the cute guy who changes the colostomy bags at the old folk’s home would notice her.
Professor Well Actually
March 15th, 2025 at 6:22 am Reply
Luann: wouldn’t some kind of blood donor society in Canada we have Canadian Blood Services, be involved in any kind of blood drive? Where are they? Are these idiots planning on filling sandwich bags with blood and then find some organization to take the blood?
Anonymous
March 15th, 2025 at 6:10 am Reply
Luann: “This gets stupider by the second.”
Summary of this strip.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
BigTed
March 15th, 2025 at 6:13 am Reply
Pluggers: Yes, the Wonder Bread brand still exists, but it’s harder to find these days. I suspect this plugger saved the polyethylene bag from a loaf he purchased 30 years ago, and repackages whatever generic slices of fiberless white bread happen to be on sale in a given week. He believes it imparts a bit of the original bland flavor, like a treasured sourdough starter.
GarrisonSkunk
March 15th, 2025 at 11:12 am Reply
The Familliar Mucus: Is that signature a four leaf clover or Billy, Age 5’s attempt at drawing four melonheads?
Fred FluckstoneSequiturMarch 15th, 2025 at 11:56 am Reply
Wife joke.
My wife and I were looking out our kitchen window watching the bird feeding station in our backyard where a flock of blsckbirds were feeding. Suddenly, they all flew up in a tree except for one bird who kept eating. I said, “I wonder why that one bird didn’t go up in the tree with the others?” My wife replied, “He must have been the one who tooted.”
Needless Exposition
March 15th, 2025 at 12:26 pm Reply
Wilma Shaghoople@Sequitur: I appreciate anyone who can make a good fart joke.Just John
March 15th, 2025 at 10:35 am Reply
Gil Thorp: From the good folks who brought you Big Mouth Billy Bass the singing fish, now there’s Ronco Rim, the basketball rim that blares “BRICK!” when the ball hits it at just the correct angle. Get yours now!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Professor Well Actually
March 16th, 2025 at 4:35 am Reply
MW: it’s Karen!!!
astroboy
March 16th, 2025 at 4:53 am Reply
MW – Belle has Karen Hair.
BELLE HAS KAREN HAIR! So that means she’s e-e-e-e-evil! (rubs hands together with glee.)
Hibbleton
March 16th, 2025 at 4:58 am Reply
MW: Mad respect for grifter Belle going well above professional standards in dating Wilbur.
Cleveland Mocks
March 16th, 2025 at 6:41 am Reply
MW: Aw come on, Brigman. Belle needs a few neck tattoos, a sleeve, and a half-dozens piercings. THEN we would have something to get excited about.
Professor Fate
March 16th, 2025 at 10:39 am Reply
MW: The mention of tequila explains it: Belle was on a weeks long bender when she ended up with Wilbur.
MKay
March 16th, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
MW: Wilbur obviously hasn’t gotten his credit card statement yet. “Escort services? What could that be?”
RMMD: “Maybe go back and give the police his real name? Nah, let’s hole up at Augie’s, armed with brooms and with colanders on our heads.”
BLONDIE: It always surprises me that Blondie and Dagwood are allowed to be seen in bed together without each having one foot on the floor.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
BigTed
March 15th, 2025 at 6:13 am Reply
Pluggers: Yes, the Wonder Bread brand still exists, but it’s harder to find these days. I suspect this plugger saved the polyethylene bag from a loaf he purchased 30 years ago, and repackages whatever generic slices of fiberless white bread happen to be on sale in a given week. He believes it imparts a bit of the original bland flavor, like a treasured sourdough starter.
GarrisonSkunk
March 15th, 2025 at 11:12 am Reply
The Familliar Mucus: Is that signature a four leaf clover or Billy, Age 5’s attempt at drawing four melonheads?
Fred FluckstoneSequiturMarch 15th, 2025 at 11:56 am Reply
Wife joke.
My wife and I were looking out our kitchen window watching the bird feeding station in our backyard where a flock of blsckbirds were feeding. Suddenly, they all flew up in a tree except for one bird who kept eating. I said, “I wonder why that one bird didn’t go up in the tree with the others?” My wife replied, “He must have been the one who tooted.”
Needless Exposition
March 15th, 2025 at 12:26 pm Reply
Wilma Shaghoople@Sequitur: I appreciate anyone who can make a good fart joke.Just John
March 15th, 2025 at 10:35 am Reply
Gil Thorp: From the good folks who brought you Big Mouth Billy Bass the singing fish, now there’s Ronco Rim, the basketball rim that blares “BRICK!” when the ball hits it at just the correct angle. Get yours now!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Professor Well Actually
March 16th, 2025 at 4:35 am Reply
MW: it’s Karen!!!
astroboy
March 16th, 2025 at 4:53 am Reply
MW – Belle has Karen Hair.
BELLE HAS KAREN HAIR! So that means she’s e-e-e-e-evil! (rubs hands together with glee.)
Hibbleton
March 16th, 2025 at 4:58 am Reply
MW: Mad respect for grifter Belle going well above professional standards in dating Wilbur.
Cleveland Mocks
March 16th, 2025 at 6:41 am Reply
MW: Aw come on, Brigman. Belle needs a few neck tattoos, a sleeve, and a half-dozens piercings. THEN we would have something to get excited about.
Professor Fate
March 16th, 2025 at 10:39 am Reply
MW: The mention of tequila explains it: Belle was on a weeks long bender when she ended up with Wilbur.
MKay
March 16th, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
MW: Wilbur obviously hasn’t gotten his credit card statement yet. “Escort services? What could that be?”
RMMD: “Maybe go back and give the police his real name? Nah, let’s hole up at Augie’s, armed with brooms and with colanders on our heads.”
BLONDIE: It always surprises me that Blondie and Dagwood are allowed to be seen in bed together without each having one foot on the floor.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Bob Tice
March 17th, 2025 at 4:30 am Reply
Luann:
SMACK
“Oh, did I mention that I didn’t give blood, because I have mononucleosis?”
Hibbleton
March 17th, 2025 at 4:34 am Reply
Luann: The FUSE, Fornication Under Sanction of Evans.
It’s all coming together.
Little Guy
March 17th, 2025 at 4:50 am Reply
Luann: Called it — no-frills blood drive breaks records (bonus – she gets to kiss the guy).
Lord Flatulence
March 17th, 2025 at 6:17 am Reply
Luann: Hand-jive can’t be far behind.
The Quiet Man
March 17th, 2025 at 5:53 am Reply
Luann: Welp, those masters of misdirection have done it again! They didn’t have the blood drive get cancelled for some thuddingly obvious yet ‘wacky’ reason (that would have been blamed on Tiffany), they just pulled a ‘Judge Parker’ and had all the interesting action happen off-panel! BRILLIANT!
And now, in honor of the strip’s 40th anniversary, I think I can safely speak for all of us when I say Mr. Evans, you have earned a nice rest and enjoy your retirement!
[whispers]
What’s that? He’s NOT retiring? It’s been 40 @#$%&*+ years!! Why is continuing to draw this insipid crap about a girl who has no skills, no talent, is unbearable to be around and has no way to support herself without Mommy and Daddy’s hel-*… oooooooohhhhhhhhhhh….
Noel
March 17th, 2025 at 4:56 am Reply
MW: Ask Wendy seems to be an advice column for robots who just gained self-awareness.
Lauralot
March 17th, 2025 at 4:59 am Reply
MW: “Stay calm.” Wow, Mary. Are you getting paid for these incredible insights?
Hibbleton
March 17th, 2025 at 6:21 am Reply
MW:
Dear Ask Wendy,
How do I tell my husband I have a brain tumor?
—Terminal in Tempe
Dear Terminal,
Stay calm. Be flexible. Look at the positive. Everything has something to teach us.
Mary’s Ex
March 17th, 2025 at 9:04 am Reply
I hate to be a scold but I’m concerned that Mary insists on typing on a coffee table instead of a desk. It’s going to ruin her posture. I don’t want to think of her facing back surgery courtesy of Dr. Jeff
The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers
March 17th, 2025 at 9:10 am Reply
@Mary’s Ex:
Kudos. Mary Sex is a fantastic nom de snark.
I speak Jive
March 17th, 2025 at 11:15 am Reply
Re Mary Worth and advice column letters – I just read today’s Miss Manners column, and the first letter was about a wedding that didn’t take place because just before it was to start the groom was arrested on an active warrant. Now that’s a problem! I wonder which platitudes Mary would regurgitate to solve that.
Cleveland Mocks
March 17th, 2025 at 6:06 am Reply
MW: “Dear Reader, congratulations! Yours might be the dumbest letter ever submitted to an advice columnist. However, I am obligated to answer it, so I’m going to give you some of the dumbest advice anyone has ever read.”
GT: Beth almost spilled their drinks when she had to step over Marty Moon.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Schroduck
March 17th, 2025 at 5:22 am Reply
Slylock Fox: If the editor didn’t notice “fig-urine”, I dread to think what’s going to happen when Cassandra Fox steals some shittake mushrooms or a cocktail.
Tabby Lavalamp
March 17th, 2025 at 6:05 am Reply
The first word I saw in Slylock Fox was “urine” and you can bet I thought maybe there was an interesting mystery for once. But no, it appears that after the great uprising the animal people stopped marking their territory.
nescio
March 17th, 2025 at 4:51 am Reply
SFox: What’s “fig-urine”? Urine produced after eating figs? Cassandra has really specific kinks.
Guts Dozier
March 17th, 2025 at 4:56 am Reply
Shylock Fox: What’s so special about fig urine anyway? Does it have a distinct odour like asparagus urine? Is it purple like beet urine? Then again, I suppose any sample of Betty Boop’s urine would be valuable. And it would probably still test positive for cocaine, 90-plus years later.
Everybody Posts, Nobody Reads
March 17th, 2025 at 7:42 am Reply
Slylock: I want to know about the fig poop.
MKay
March 17th, 2025 at 5:49 am Reply
SLYFX: And he suddenly realized that THE CALL WAS COMING FROM INSIDE THE ANTIQUE STORE (sinister music)
Professor Well Actually
March 17th, 2025 at 5:50 am Reply
RMMD: well played Augie well played.
Ukulele Ike
March 17th, 2025 at 5:31 am Reply
RMMD: Summer: “The thought of me being alone here in bed terrifies me!”
Augie thinks: “Nahhhhh….too easy.”
Myrtle
March 17th, 2025 at 6:40 am Reply
RMMD: And just like that, this turns into a 1940s romantic comedy! Embarrassing misunderstandings as Summer fixes Augie a bed on the couch. Next, they’ll have to set up a sham marriage, for the reasons.
Bob Tice
March 18th, 2025 at 4:55 am Reply
Pluggers:
You know you’re a plugger when you think that being called a plugger is actually a compliment.
Banana Jr. 6000
March 18th, 2025 at 5:20 am Reply
Pluggers: The Price is Right gives away huge backyard grilling packages, $2000 pizza ovens, and foodie vacations. They give air fryers to the people who don’t even get on stage. What is he watching, the Russian version?
pugfuggly
March 18th, 2025 at 5:23 am Reply
Pluggers: The weird thing is that he *is* talking about the sexy model. “She’s so hot she could literally fry the air, and leave me with a crispy coating, with less fat! My frozen eggroll is ready for it, if you know what I mean…!”
Old School Allie Cat
March 18th, 2025 at 7:04 am Reply
Pluggers – I was a devoted fan of TPIR in the Bob Barker years. So imagine my surprise watching in the Drew Carey era, and seeing their male prize hottie for the first time!!! All I’m saying is, it’s OK to be curious, Dog Man.
Philip
March 18th, 2025 at 5:40 am Reply
Pluggers – This is how a Plugger would define commodity fetishism.
TheDiva
March 18th, 2025 at 6:50 am Reply
Pluggers can only get interested in food and food-based products. They’re basically Dagwood Bumstead in fursuits.
ectojazzmage
March 18th, 2025 at 6:33 am Reply
Pluggers: Pluggers absolutely would be the kind of people who act smug and superior about air fryers.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Tabby Lavalamp
March 18th, 2025 at 5:49 am Reply
Marvin’s mom was clearly expecting a shit joke and was taken by surprise.
Voshkod
March 18th, 2025 at 5:19 am Reply
Marvin, confused, walks into the wrong comic strip and tells Woodstock his toy troubles.
astroboy
March 18th, 2025 at 6:49 am Reply
BC: I actually guffawed at that one. Or maybe it was just a titter. A tit-faw.
Yside
March 18th, 2025 at 6:28 am Reply
BC: That’s a solid joke.
matt w
March 18th, 2025 at 5:48 am Reply
Confession: I like the joke in The Wizard of Id.
Morgan Wick
March 18th, 2025 at 6:08 am Reply
I’m actually kinda curious what the original punchlines in B.C. and Wizard of Id were before they were blatantly edited with an obvious computer font to reference newfangled things the Kids These Days do that didn’t exist when these comics originally ran. Especially the former, as the punchline we get works well enough and is funny enough that I can’t help but wonder if the original was actually inferior.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Cleveland Mocks
March 18th, 2025 at 5:50 am Reply
RMMD: “Don’t worry, Summer, I don’t expect us to bed together. You can sleep on the couch.”
MW: If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, baffle ’em with bullshit. — W.C. Fields
Needless Exposition
March 18th, 2025 at 7:56 am Reply
MW: Mary talking about flexibility is like getting sexual education from a nun who hasn’t been reading anything but the Bible in thirty years.
lynn
March 18th, 2025 at 7:17 am Reply
Guest writer for today’s Frank and Ernest: RFK Jr.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Schroduck
March 19th, 2025 at 5:44 am Reply
DTM: “Ah, it’s the two five year olds I regularly hang out with: the one that reminds me of a traditionalist married woman and the one who reminds me of someone who has affairs with married people!” – Mr Wilson, shortly before going on the sex offenders register.
Dan
March 19th, 2025 at 4:34 am Reply
DtM: With timeline drift, Dennis and Margaret are among the youngest members of Generation Alpha and as such, have no comprehension of Mr. Wilson’s crude 1950s gender stereotypes. Sorry, “homemaker”? We’re going to be living in a genderfluid polycule commune where all tasks are shared equitably! The future is now, old man!
Guts Dozier
March 19th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
DtM: Martha’s not even listening as she keeps scrolling through her dating app.
els
March 19th, 2025 at 5:00 am Reply
George, look, I don’t want to tell you how to live your life, but if you hate Dennis so much — which you do, and rightfully so — maybe don’t sit on the top of the porch steps like you and the wife are apparently doing, thus making it that much easier for the little nimrod to hunt you down. Then again, that’s easy for me to say, I still have the lower half of my body, maybe I should check my privilege.
Lawyerbob
March 19th, 2025 at 5:53 am Reply
DtM: Martha is surreptitiously filming this exchange for her YouTube channel, “Obnoxious shit my husband says to six-year-olds.”
Tabby Lavalamp
March 19th, 2025 at 5:48 am Reply
Have we ever seen Margaret and Mr. Wilson interact before? Because that’s clearly a “Who is this asshole?” look on her face in the second panel.
Hibbleton
March 19th, 2025 at 5:14 am Reply
Luann: Cheat notes on a clipboard for your first kiss sounds ludicrous but you do you, Luann.
Everything is Better with Monkeys
March 19th, 2025 at 4:56 am Reply
The Evansi long for the days of the Hays Code…
Old School Allie Cat
March 19th, 2025 at 5:33 am Reply
@Everything is Better with Monkeys:
I would read the hell out of pre-code Luann. And pre-code Gil Thorp, Rex Morgan, and Mary Worth.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
March 19th, 2025 at 5:18 am Reply
Arrgh, I caught just the first snippet of dialogue in Luann — “You’d be OK if we kissed again?” — and then was immediately distracted by the site cookies warning with its big yellow button stating “Yes, I’m okay with this!” But I am not okay with this, joshreads.com, it is against all that is holy and the sex-negative spirit of both Luann and Luann. I’m not okay, do you hear me, I’ll never be okay with this!
taig
March 19th, 2025 at 7:15 am Reply
Luann: “We’re adults,” Phil says without any trace of irony whatsoever.
2+2=7
March 19th, 2025 at 5:24 am Reply
LUANN: Aw, poor naive Luann: This is her idea of “the fuck hut” from Tiffany’s dorm (this is the only version her simple sanitized, sterilized mind can handle.)
Liam
March 19th, 2025 at 8:09 am Reply
Luann-“Oh just hurry up and blow him already.”
Activist
March 19th, 2025 at 5:11 am Reply
MW:. Yikes. That’s what I tell friends, always have a plan B. Whatta jerk I’ve become.
Liam
March 19th, 2025 at 5:46 am Reply
MW-Mary has the expression of someone finding it difficult to believe their own bullshit.
Arabella
March 19th, 2025 at 9:53 am Reply
MW: This has been a painful week – my head hurts from reading this glurge and my back aches from seeing Mary hunched over her laptop on the coffee table. Surely she has a lady’s writing desk she could use.
I really miss the huge console computer she had with the previous artist. It took up half a wall and reminded me of a church organ.
Needless Exposition
March 19th, 2025 at 10:07 am Reply
MW: We get it, Moy; Mary likes to write platitudes and Wilbur is a gross creep who doesn’t even know how “hit it and quit it” works. Give Mary her undeserved victory dinner and rejection of Jeff and move on already.
I speak Jive
March 19th, 2025 at 8:53 am Reply
Mary Worth – Make a list! Don’t forget make a list!
Karen Moy typed this with one hand, like Brooke McEldowney draws those meticulously detailed legs with one hand.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
however
March 19th, 2025 at 7:41 am Reply
This will not stand! Andy Capp is not some boffin who enjoys trivia games; when he goes to the pub, he plays darts.
Ukulele Ike
March 19th, 2025 at 7:54 am Reply
@however: “Boffin” is one of my absolute most favorite words. I wish we would adopt it in the US. So much more mellifluous than “egghead.”
Boffin.
Boffin boffin boffin.
Stacker
March 20th, 2025 at 4:53 am Reply
CS: Did you check the quality of the staples? This guy has all the talent and passion of a mid-level communist functionary.
“I remember going to see my first movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey. What I most remember about the picture is the MPA symbol that came up at the end of the credits and then I knew I was seeing an important film! I subsequ /.ently made an appointment with the head usher to show him my scripts and obtain advice on how best to make a movie.”
Dennis Jimenez
March 20th, 2025 at 4:49 am Reply
MW – Our comedic rendition of Islands in the Stream, Floaters in the Bowl, is legend…
Pozzo
March 20th, 2025 at 5:16 am Reply
MW: Dawn is going to taunt her father at karaoke by performing “One Less Bell(e) to Answer.”
Don
March 20th, 2025 at 5:54 am Reply
MaryWorth: WTF Wilbur?? Who gets up in the morning and starts thinking about supper?
Maltmash3r
March 20th, 2025 at 1:08 pm Reply
MW- hopefully Dawn will have some Pad Thai on her face and Dirk will run over from another date and scream at her. That would just about liven up this storyline.
Banana Jr. 6000
March 20th, 2025 at 5:19 am Reply
Pluggers: Oh, shut up, Pluggers. This is not a reaction to today’s strip, which I haven’t even read, but I something I feel needs to be said every day. So, shut up, Pluggers.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
March 20th, 2025 at 4:52 am Reply
H&L: Hi has gone from jizz towel to golf towel and Lois isn’t too happy about it.
Schroduck
March 20th, 2025 at 4:47 am Reply
H&L: In Panel 2, Hi has pulled out his wood and is giving it a good rub. That’s also what Chip’s doing in panel 1.
matt w
March 20th, 2025 at 4:50 am Reply
I know the Hi and Lois team does not share my vision of the strip as character-driven (Lois is neurotically compulsive, Hi is crushingly aware of his inadequacies, neither can feel joy), and that’s why they never develop or even name Chip’s girflriends. BUT THEY COULD AT LEAST REMEMBER THAT CHIP HAS BLOND HAIR.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
March 20th, 2025 at 5:26 am Reply
Hi and Lois: Chip has a new girlfriend, but he’s already been cucked by the kid with brown hair. Lois is and always has been in a menage à trois with Hi’s golf clubs. Trixie is in love with an inanimate object. Where does the sexual perversity end?
pugfuggly
March 20th, 2025 at 5:35 am Reply
H&L: “I guess that Chip has a new girlfriend. At least I presume so, based on the behavior of his brown-haired doppelganger. Did we ever figure out how where he came from, or how they’re telepathically linked?”
Tabby Lavalamp
March 20th, 2025 at 5:56 am Reply
Look at Hi there, rubbing one out. That means to stroke the shaft and head, right? To get the golf club clean?
Ettorre
March 20th, 2025 at 6:16 am Reply
Lois, Hi clearly enjoys polishing his own staff alone more than doing it with you, leave him alone!
Tabby Lavalamp
March 20th, 2025 at 6:01 am Reply
@Tabby Lavalamp:
A lot of golfers dream of going pro. The entire industry is pretty much Masters bait.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 20th, 2025 at 1:29 pm Reply
H&L: Hi sees his teenage son cozying up to a girl and immediately starts polishing his club. If you’re not happy about that innuendo imagine how the club feels.
CanuckDownSouth
March 20th, 2025 at 6:32 am Reply
JP: In a holding pattern for what to snark next, but really do appreciate the art’s attention to detail on the Mille Bornes cards
TheDiva
March 20th, 2025 at 6:46 am Reply
Luann: Leave it to Luann to make “friends with benefits” as boring as possible.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Horace Broon
March 20th, 2025 at 2:05 pm Reply
RMMD: Welcome to Rex Morgan MD, where “Netflix and chill” isn’t a euphemism for anything whatsoever.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
71. Snarker’s Block
March 15th, 2025 at 11:47 am Reply
#69 is wide open and I can’t think of a single thing to write.
[Scrote Note: You thought too long, but what the heck – You get the Special 71 Award.]
69. Midtown
March 16th, 2025 at 10:41 am Reply
MW: Some of you thought Belle was just an imaginary character Wilbur made up. You see now that she’s real, and they’re spectacular!
69. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
March 17th, 2025 at 8:19 am Reply
Luann — For some reason, I have a Katy Perry earworm now — I kissed a girl, and I liked it!
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Just John
March 18th, 2025 at 9:17 am Reply
Wizard of Id and BC have turned into Dustin!
69. Liam
March 19th, 2025 at 7:16 am Reply
Beetle Bailey-Beetle is frigid.
Congrats to Nevin for having a long comment make the COTW!
And a hearty thanks to
BoneDeadScratchy for the mention!Congrats to Nevin!
Thanks for the mention, Scratchy!
Thanks, Josh and thank you, Scratchy!
Thanks, Scratchy!
Thanks, Scratchy.
Congrats to Nevin and the floaters!
Thanks Josh and Scratchy, and Voshkudos to Nevin (on Patreon), Hibbleton, Tabby Lavalamp, and pugfuggly.
Thanks Josh (and Scratchy), and congrats to all the rollickin’ COTWs!
Thanks, Scratchy!
@Weaselboy: Congrats to Nevin and the floaters!
____________________
Wasn’t that the group who beat Archies Allstars in the big Battle of the Bands?
Thanks for the #69 Scrotal! I didn’t realize that I had hit that special spot on the charts when I posted. I also don’t know if I’m referring to Phil or Luann.