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“Oh no!” you’ve probably been thinking. “It’s getting pretty late in the day! Where’s the comment of the week? Where’s Josh? Has he forsaken us, for our sins?” Well, I thought about forsaking you, but actually I just had an appointment this morning and didn’t have time to do the COTW beforehand, sorry. Anyway, here’s this week’s top comment!

“Today’s Shoe is actually a clever remark on the tradeoffs of civilization. We grant the sovereign a monopoly on the legitimate use of force out of the fear of violent death that is omnipresent in the state of nature, understanding that we thereby create NEW risks if such concentrated power is misused by an ill-constituted sovereign. And so it is with the birds in Shoe — in the state of nature Senator Belfry would face no risk of falling down the stairs, because he is a bird and can fly, but he gave up that for the greater overall security that comes from wearing clothes over his wings to do stupid bits.” –James

And your very funny runners up!

“Of course, it would be great if anyone in the family’s younger generation ever got an A on a test or some kind of sports honor, or even a congratulatory letter, that could be posted on the refrigerator. But until that day comes, at least Hi can laugh at slightly worse kids, like Dennis the Menace, or long-departed losers like Charlie Brown. Bet their refrigerators are sad as heck!” –BigTed

“And then Dennis got expelled from Heaven for rebelling against God. It was all covered in John Milton’s Dennis the Menace.” –Liam

“All of time and space are converging on a single point: Crankshaft’s grill. He’ll need to detonate it to jumpstart a new universe.” –Johnny lt

“All of my issues with the new art style in Gil Thorp can be forgiven now that we have been given the gift of Colonel Clambake. Is he stealing a new type of valor now???” –M. histrionica, on BlueSky

“The first rule of Plugger Fight Club is that no-one remembers about Plugger Fight Club.” –pugfuggly

“Finally, some good news from Pluggers! If it bleeds, we can kill it!” –Ettorre

“You can tell Phil’s hip and stylish because he’s wearing a black t-shirt under a sport coat. Luann? Sleek and sophisticated in her little black dress, with a pop of color! Mrs. Horner is experienced and comfortable in her black cardigan. Bernice, as is his practice, wears the colors of our Savior’s passion year-round. Can you guess which one of these people will die a virgin? (Spoiler: they all will, this is Luann.)” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Lets all get to know each other better, people I see pretty much every goddamn day!” –2+2=7

“In the Luann universe, inviting a bunch of people over to eat lasagna is the closest you can get to an orgy.” –ectojazzmage

“In most jurisdictions, police cars are white and covered in lights and reflective panels so they can speed relatively safely through traffic. But why give away your position to criminals like that? Better to just paint your police car charcoal black all over, including the headlights. On balance, the extra road deaths are slightly outweighed by the extra criminal deaths!” –Schroduck

“Shan’t leave this evidence behind, wouldn’t be cricket now, would it? Her Majesty dasn’t even think of such a thing, God Save Her. Anyway, the bobbies are on the way, pip pip, old boy, and toodles to the incriminating little blighters. Man, why did I wait so long to get in line at villain college. That’s why I ended up as British Internal Monologue Man. Well, at least I beat out old Billy and didn’t end up as Cockney Rhyming Boy, or I’d be right Brahms and Liszt!” –Voshkod

“Mary Worth’s grey vegan lasagna or Belle Batsfry’s colorful, poisoned lasagna: which would you eat?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I always keep the salt and pepper shaker 3 feet away because my food is wonderful on its own.” –beer farmer

“‘I’m glad to have your company, Dawn,’ Mary says, as if she is some helpless shut-in, when she is in fact omnipresent and omnipotent.” –Violet

“‘This date is going great!,’ thinks Dustin. ‘She’s so concerned about my appearance that she hasn’t noticed my personality yet.’” –Nevin, on Patreon

“These strips are so unrealistic. Niki thinking far enough in advance to reserve a table? And doing it successfully? Preposterous.” –Hibbleton

“Lady, the two of you have the exact same face except you’re wearing lipstick. Let’s not throw stones here.” –Dan

“‘Going to Lou’s to see Big Sandy’ sounds vaguely mob-related. Especially when combined with a job as a mechanic. What if Niki joins the mob as a goodfella? What if it ropes in Rex and he gets blackmailed to be a mob doctor? What if interesting and bonkers Rex Morgan plot twists happened in the strip instead of just in my brain?” –Drew Funk

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