Metapost: You’re commenting. You’re commenting all week!
Post Content
Your comments were all very funny this week, obviously, but only one comment can be the week’s top comment, and here it is:
“My little friend is not so little anymore, Toby! In fact, she’s quite large! Enormous, in fact! Nine foot six and getting taller by the day! It’s actually quite alarming! We’re getting into I’m a Virgo territory here! Did you watch that miniseries, by the way? It was on Amazon Prime a couple of years ago! Jharrel Jerome is a treasure! Some great performances by Elijah Wood and Walton Goggins as well, which reminds me that I need to start my Justified rewatch. Oh, Margo Martindale is another treasure, especially as a voice in BoJack Horseman. Anyway, Olive is a giant, is the point I’m trying to make.” –els
The runners up are greater in number but still a small sample of the funny. Still, I think they’re pretty good:
“Are the pickleball gear and Leroy’s madras shirt the only items they couldn’t sell, or the only items they’re selling? Either way, it has to be a pretty good yard sale if you’re attracting aging hipsters to your suburban … patio? Driveway? Paved-over lawn? I dunno … this place is weird, man.” –BigTed
“You know what? good on Dagwood for sticking with pickleball even after he found out it was just a name.” –Banana Sam
“Apartment managing has similar ethics to Vikings, in which the greatest honor is to die in battle with weapons in hand, rather than old age. In the case of apartment managers, that usually means with tools in your hand fixing plumbing or some malfunctioning HVAC system. Marvin’s grandparents, stripped of all dignity by their economic losses, have bought in fully to the ethics, if only because being able to shame the old manager gives them a feeling of no longer being on the bottom.” –Philip
“Putting periods in ‘OK’ looks weird, so I’m not surprised that’s how Alice does it.” –nescio
“Bernice is depicted as organized and responsible, especially in comparison to Luann. Today’s strip reveals that this is because Bernice is so utterly boring that her chores are the highlight of her day.” –TheDiva
“The gag would obviously work a whole lot better if Henry was looking for a tennis partner and not a golf partner. But, suburban dads in comic strips must play golf. The sacred trope must be maintained even at the expense of the joke.” –Astroboy
“I’m picturing Evy and Ed’s view of Mary’s face, up-nostril shot and all, and it’s not pretty.” –Weaselboy
“Mary begins to pack for her trip to New York. ‘Hmmm. I’ll wear what I have on now for the plane ride. However, it might get chilly in the city, even though it’s July,’ she muses, adding a purple cowl-neck long-sleeve top to her empty suitcase. ‘That should do it!’” –Charterstoned
“And, in lighter news, the comic strip Crankshaft has ceased publication after being sued into a smoking crater by Warner Bros. Discovery Inc.” –Dmsilev
“I like how these two are talking right into their coffees, as a way of being covert, I guess? You think they’re blowing bubbles? I hope so.” –pugfuggly
“One must imagine Leroy Lockhorn … happy? I don’t know if I can do it.” –matt w
“The Lockhorns usually has a pretty minimalist approach to backgrounds, so when they suddenly decide we need to see every detail of their backyard electric switch box situation, you’d better believe I take notice.” –Schroduck
“‘A couple of the cashiers are kind of cute!’ [They share a hearty chuckle.] ‘Anyway, thoughts about how to escape this quicksand patch?’” –Voshkod
“Generative AI will not destroy all artistic jobs. For example, humans will still get to draw Max, mainly because the AI could not be bothered to.” –Ettorre
“I think you mean ‘HOW TO VIOLATE COPYRIGHT Max Mouse,’ Bob. I’m surprised the syndicate keeps letting you get away with this. If the kids want a picture of Max to stick on their fridge, they can ask their grandparents what a newspaper is.” –Tabby Lavalamp
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32 replies to “Metapost: You’re commenting. You’re commenting all week!”
Congrats, els!
Congrats els, that comment had me dying. Very funny runner-ups as well!
@taig: Congrats, els!
_________________________
I didn’t know Mary Worth’s window eels even read the blog, good for them :)
My hovercraft is full of els.
Thanks, y’all! I couldn’t have done it without bold.
Mary’s Worst: “Olive and I are KINDRED SPIRITS! She wants to be a professional meddler when she grows up! Just like Aunt Mary.”
@GarrisonSkunk: Always two there are. No more, no less. A master and an apprentice.
Congratulations, Els, et al. Here are the Scroters:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
July 5th, 2025 at 4:29 am Reply
Pluggers: Yes, he’s a dog and thank god he’s not holding a pair of pants. You know what’d he’d be sniffing.
Dr. Larry Erhardt
July 5th, 2025 at 10:25 am Reply
Luann: The real driving question is: Does Greg feel like drawing campgrounds and new characters for the next six weeks? Weenie World is already an established set, and as a generic corporate restaurant can be filled in with a few quick scribbles.
Needless Exposition
July 5th, 2025 at 4:31 am Reply
Luann: Compared to dads like Ed and Wilbur, Frank vaguely listening to his daughter is miles ahead of the competition. He’s not being contemptuous of her existence or preparing to sacrifice her to get laid so…yeah, good on you, Frank.
MW: Dr. Jeff looks like he would rather have dental surgery without anesthesia than spend another second on this date.
Hibbleton
July 5th, 2025 at 4:35 am Reply
MW: The artist and writer are not on the same page today. Jeff’s look of utter disdain should be saved for post-coital conversation.
Bob Tice
July 5th, 2025 at 4:42 am Reply
MW:
In today’s second panel, Jeff appears to be suffering from what is known in medical parlance as “dyschezia.”
MKay
July 5th, 2025 at 4:46 am Reply
MW: The redecorating of the Bum Boat could have been a good plotline. The indecision, the duplicitous decorator, Mary saving it all in the end. My genius is wasted.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Ukulele Ike
July 5th, 2025 at 7:02 am Reply
9CL: Which one farted?
Horace Broon
July 5th, 2025 at 8:40 am Reply
Peanuts: Wait, does Snoopy mean a “dogfight” as in “a fight he has with another dog” or as in “a fight he has with the Red Baron, in his trusty Sopwith Camel?”
…Wait, was that the secret joke behind the WWI Flying Ace strips the whole time?
But What Do I Know?
July 6th, 2025 at 4:38 am Reply
Plugged Up — Let me be the first of many to suggest that the ripping sound emanating from the bear’s backside may not indicate a tear in the fabric.
Schroduck
July 6th, 2025 at 4:41 am Reply
Pluggers: Come on, you’re making it too easy. All the Photoshoppers who make fart-themed edits of comics will be pissed today.
nescio
July 6th, 2025 at 5:01 am Reply
The rips in a Plugger’s jeans are better heard than smelled.
Amelie Wikström
July 6th, 2025 at 8:08 am Reply
I’ve lost I think my last five pairs of pants by tearing the crotch. Two of them I tried to mend but they tore again. Whether the cause be cursed bad luck, ample penis or I know not what, my youth is now long spent, alas, because apparently I’m a plugger.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Anonymous
July 7th, 2025 at 5:05 am Reply
MW: It says a lot that Jeff starts his soliloquy with Mary’s name. Otherwise, people would think he’s referring to his boat.
MKay
July 7th, 2025 at 5:10 am Reply
MW: 1.Interminable discussion about Wilbur Weston – check
2. Dinner at the Bum Boat- check
3. Worship, glorify and otherwise kowtow to Mary Worth- check
4. Closed-mouth, thin-lipped kiss- check
Another date, wrapped up
9CL: “Ooh, Lolly, your tummy is talking! It makes me want to put my winkie in your yumyum!”
Now I’ve nauseated myself.
Liam
July 7th, 2025 at 5:23 am Reply
FC-“You won’t believe what the girls in the massage parlor charges for one of these.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Banana Jr. 6000
July 7th, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
Frazz: For a strip that’s trying so hard to be Calvin & Hobbes, it could put a little more effort into a fantasy unicycle crash.
Pozzo
July 7th, 2025 at 5:33 am Reply
I think Marvin’s grandparents are angling for their own spinoff strip, about the wacky adventures of an apartment manager. He can occasionally be called upon to unclog a toilet, so Armstrong can get his shit fix.
Liam
July 7th, 2025 at 8:46 am Reply
Luann-“It’s never too early to get high,” Bernice says pulling out a bong.
Poteet
July 7th, 2025 at 10:02 am Reply
LUANN: Yes indeed, Evansii, you nailed it. This is what life is like for college students in 2025. What with low college tuition, lots of non-loan money for college easily available, low living costs, a generally-joyous national mood, and abundant high-paying pleasant secure entry jobs to look forward to upon graduation, life is a cinch. Too much free time and nothing at all to do is the biggest problem facing college students today, and seeing it so eloquently portrayed is an example of why your work is so admired here on CC.
brendancalling
July 7th, 2025 at 9:11 am Reply
The final panel of Luann confuses me: I’m not sure what Bernice means.
Does she mean, “I’m so bored, I have nothing to do”?
Does she mean, “Comics are supposed to be funny, but I am not,” in the sense of a comedian dying/bombing on stage?
Or does she mean, “I am never ever leaving the life I have here and will die, alone and unwanted, in whatever town this is supposed to be”?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
GarrisonSkunk
July 7th, 2025 at 9:26 am Reply
Low and Highless: “Col. Bleep is calling on Mom’s phone! Guess Uncle Beetle got killed!”
Hibbleton
July 8th, 2025 at 4:51 am Reply
FC: It was then that Grandma Keene realized that reports of Jeffy’s stupidity had not been exaggerated.
Popper Cherry
July 8th, 2025 at 5:16 am Reply
FC: Look at the way HTT Grandma can still jut. Back in the day she must have been the hit of Woodstock, dancing naked after dropping acid. I bet she must have let Hendrix, Guthrie et al., as well as the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir pull a train on her.
Guillermo el Chiclero
July 8th, 2025 at 6:27 am Reply
FC: Grandma, this lemonade tastes like Drano. Aaauuugh! Thud!
Schroduck
July 8th, 2025 at 4:53 am Reply
MW: So Mary’s Zoom technique is to lean into the camera and focus it right on her lifted breasts? I hope we can all be as confident about our sexual bodies at her age. Although it makes me wonder what exactly she’s planning with Olive’s horny parents…
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
July 8th, 2025 at 5:16 am Reply
Mary Worth: spacebarsandshiftkeysareforlittlepeopleandtheir’typing’.
Also Mary Worth: As heavily militarized ICE agents fan out across southern California, Mary is slipping out of town for New York. Interesting.
Weaselboy
July 8th, 2025 at 6:43 am Reply
MW – I’m picturing Evy and Ed’s view of Mary’s face, up-nostril shot and all, and it’s not pretty.
Guts Dozier
July 8th, 2025 at 6:53 am Reply
MW: Now that the door has been opened to taller, thinner doppelgangers, I’m sure I’m not alone in hoping that Mary will meet Sexy Aldo Kelrast in New York.
Alter Ego
July 8th, 2025 at 7:00 am Reply
Brigman is leaving money on the table if she doesn’t have a Rule 34 Mary Worth Patreon account where we can see the three-way between Mary and the notoriously horny Ed and Evy. Unlike when Giella was drawing the strip, Ed and Evy would actually look human!
Tonio
July 8th, 2025 at 7:29 am Reply
I want to see Brigman draw a Mary-packing-her-suitcase panel that includes a subtle hint that she expects to need revealing lingerie during the trip. ”So you want to see her also packing a sex toy, huh, Tonio?” Give me a break, I’m not that perverted.
BigTed
July 8th, 2025 at 7:44 am Reply
Mary Worth: Is a sudden invitation to visit New York in late July or early August really something to look forward to? “Enjoy the 95-degree temperatures and million-percent humidity, Mary! There’s plenty of food in the fridge and angel-tracking supplies in the closet for you and Olive… we’ll be in the Hamptons till next Tuesday, or longer if we get any good orgy invitations!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Banana Jr. 6000
July 8th, 2025 at 5:28 am Reply
Pluggers are disgusting.
Victor Von
July 8th, 2025 at 6:14 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: “Dennis elbow?” That means nothing, and even George Wilson knows it!
Oh, it means Dennis attacked him in his sleep with a ball peen hammer? Not really the kid’s usual MO, but I stand corrected.
Astroboy
July 8th, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
DtM: The gag would obviously work a whole lot better if Henry was looking for a tennis partner and not a golf partner. But, suburban dads in comic strips must play golf. The sacred trope must be maintained even at the expense of the joke.
Voshkod
July 8th, 2025 at 7:06 am Reply
“Golf? Oh, yes, the ‘sport’ with the clubs and grass and holes. No, George, as you can clearly see I’m off to my true passion, the local sock puppet playhouse. We’re doing Kafka’s The Trial and I get to play the members of the court, dressed in their black finery, so similar to a hangman’s cap. Shall I comp ticket for you and Martha?”
Maltmash3r
July 9th, 2025 at 4:39 am Reply
JP– as someone who never read soap opera comics as a kid, I just want to know if this strip ever actually practices law.?
Or is it Judge Parker in the same way as Judge Reinhold?
Schroduck
July 9th, 2025 at 4:43 am Reply
JP: Our Trondheim kidnapper is enjoying a delicious eggelikørskål, a traditional Norwegian bowl of warm eggnog. You don’t use a spoon, of course. Just ram your face straight in and lick it off your chin.
Voshkod
July 9th, 2025 at 5:59 am Reply
Later, after a high-speed chase and gunfight over the mountains to the sea, April dispatches her attacker, forcing his car off the road and over a cliff, where it plummets in flames into deep watery valley that leads to the ocean. “Have you driven into a fjord lately?” she mutters, fulfilling her contractual killing quip.
pugfuggly
July 9th, 2025 at 6:00 am Reply
JP: I like how these two are talking right into their coffees, as a way of being covert, I guess? You think they’re blowing bubbles? I hope so.
BillieVee
July 9th, 2025 at 6:52 am Reply
JP: Is it a goatee, or did Mr. Superspy get his turmeric latte all over his mouth?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Pozzo
July 9th, 2025 at 4:36 am Reply
FC: “And you can draw as many tits on them as you want, just to prove it’s a girl. Now to draw a bull. This oughta be good!”
Liam
July 9th, 2025 at 5:25 am Reply
FC-Well Mommy would know a lot about mooing.
Hibbleton
July 9th, 2025 at 6:20 am Reply
FC: Billy punches Jeffy to test Dolly’s theory.
“OOOOOOOOOOOOW!”
“Hey, it works!”
Dennis Jimenez
July 9th, 2025 at 6:45 am Reply
FC – BtW – Billy…yer an assholeeeeee….
Tonio
July 9th, 2025 at 6:34 am Reply
Thel began policing her children’s artistic endeavors after Jeffy depicted his parents as having cartoonishly large butts, fearing her sweet darlings would grow up to be anarchistic graffiti artists.
I speak Jive
July 9th, 2025 at 9:59 am Reply
FC – For a five year old, that’s not too bad for a cow. However, Jeffy’s been practicing his flat screen TVs, cordless phones, and seat belts, so he’ll be the one to take over the strip when Bil goes.
MKay
July 9th, 2025 at 4:38 am Reply
FC: Dolly has only allowed herself to go wild AFTER coloring perfectly in the lines and making sure the cow’s udder has the accurate number of teats.
DtM: The Mitchells have traded Dennis for some landscaping.
Hibbleton
July 9th, 2025 at 4:47 am Reply
DtM: Five minutes earlier; “Dad, what’s a rickshaw?”
ValdVin
July 9th, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: The “intimate” part is where the freckles are. Miss Blips will have to get Miss Buxley drunk to find out.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Charterstoned
July 9th, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
MW: So, when did Mary bust through the walls of her ground-floor condo to add sliding glass doors to a private patio? Next thing you know, she’s going to add a hot tub.
Professor Well Actually
July 9th, 2025 at 5:03 am Reply
Mw: is there nobody in the Worthverse who doesn’t particularly like muffins? I don’t particularly like muffins. Am I the only one?
Astroboy
July 9th, 2025 at 5:04 am Reply
MW: The Osbournes live in Buckinghamshire, England. Before that, they lived in Los Angeles for over two decades.
Toby’s drunk, as usual.
LTJpezcore1
July 9th, 2025 at 5:21 am Reply
MW: While I do applaud the Moy/Brigman team for coming up with a family that was extremely recently in the cultural zeitgeist (what with the Black Sabbath farewell concert over the weekend) the Osbournes STILL come off as a really dated reference. And an extremely bizarre one as well…
Though to Toby’s credit, Mary did say you’d never guess, so…
I speak Jive
July 9th, 2025 at 10:12 am Reply
Mary Worth – It’s a good thing she isn’t visiting the Osbournes. Sure, Ozzy bit the head off a bat, but he draws the line at eating those muffins.
Bob Tice
July 9th, 2025 at 4:47 am Reply
Crankshaft:
“Oh, I know that character. That’s Yellowstone Bob.”
Bobby Sneakers
July 9th, 2025 at 5:39 am Reply
Crankshaft: No diss here, I actually think this took more effort to deliver than most CS malapropisms. I for one appreciate it.
Tabby Lavalamp
July 9th, 2025 at 6:10 am Reply
Crankshaft is flouting copyright laws for THIS?!?! I’d buy it if we saw Ol’ Cranky setting up the question and wearing the trademark Funkyverse self-satisfied smirk when he finally got to deliver the line, but the question seems to be coming out of the blue and he appears genuinely perplexed. Even Pam looks like she doesn’t know what to make of this and is considering finding a job in another comic.
The Rambling Otter
July 9th, 2025 at 7:40 am Reply
CS: Mel Blanc was the greatest cartoon voice actor to ever live.
One cartoon had Bugs and Daffy dressing up as each-other and imitating each-other’s voices. Mel Blanc voicing both at the time, could have easily just swapped the voices for each-other, but no, he went the extra mile and had Bugs imitating Daffy’s voice but clearly still sounding like Bugs and vice-versa. THAT is the mark of a true voice actor.
So I’m almost offended that Cranky-Winkerbean would even associate him with their terrible comic.
When Mel Blanc passed, there was an official drawing of all of the characters he voiced, mourning his grave with the word “Speechless” written above them. As sad as that was, it’s still better wordplay than Batiuk could wish to come up with.
Banana Jr. 6000
July 9th, 2025 at 5:30 am Reply
Pluggers: Pluggers often look ashamed to be in their strips, like their amateur comedian grandchild is forcing them to make a TikTok. “Okay, grandpa, hold up your ‘erectile disfunction and explosive diarrhea’ bracelet, make sure they can also see your shitty 1982 watch, and look at the camera. Action!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Ukulele Ike
July 9th, 2025 at 10:06 am Reply
RMMD: “Shut up and eat, before it congeals.”
pugfuggly
July 10th, 2025 at 4:42 am Reply
MW Sorry, I can’t read the words ‘my little friend’ without hearing it in Tony Montana’s voice, and you know what? I think I’m going to read all of Mary’s dialogue like that from now on!
Ettorre
July 10th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
“And she’s a beautiful teenager now! You know what that means?”
“No”
“She’s ready to become Wilbur’s new girlfriend!”
“Mary, how can Ghislaine Maxwell beat you in sympathy?!”
Charterstoned
July 10th, 2025 at 4:33 am Reply
MW: [Conspiratorial voice over]: We’ve secretly switched the contents of Mary’s glass with Toby’s beverage. Let’s see if anyone notices…!
Needless Exposition
July 10th, 2025 at 4:58 am Reply
MW: Toby has been around her ephebophilic husband for so long that hearing a geriatric talk about a teenage girl being beautiful doesn’t phase her anymore. She knows how easily replaceable she is.
Also, Mary, stop being creepy just because Wilbur’s not there.
matt w
July 10th, 2025 at 5:01 am Reply
MW: You people are sick! Toby is reminding Mary that while she’s in New York she should bang Ken Kensington.
Hibbleton
July 10th, 2025 at 4:44 am Reply
MW: “My little friend is not so little anymore.” Mary chuckles to herself as she fulfills her goal to use one of Dr Jeff’s lines in normal conversation.
Lockhorns: Loretta neglects to inform the person on the other end of the phone that Leroy is sunbathing fully dressed.
“Start your day with a mental image of Leroy in a thong;” she thinks passive aggressively. “Who else can I call?”
Schroduck
July 10th, 2025 at 4:49 am Reply
Lockhorns: The Lockhorns usually has a pretty minimalist approach to backgrounds, so when they suddenly decide we need to see every detail of their backyard electric switch box situation, you’d better believe I take notice.
Still Lockhorns: Are we sure that’s a window? It looks more like Leroy just set up a flat screen TV with a crude AI Loretta making nonsensical quips at him. Is he so broken that he can’t relax without a nagging voice in his ear crushing his spirit?
Pozzo
July 10th, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
Lockhorns: If sabotaging the joke means we don’t get to see Leroy shirtless, then I don’t see a problem here.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Tom T.
July 10th, 2025 at 5:02 am Reply
A&J: I ran across that book at a neighbor’s house when I was 12 or 13, and even at my most hormonal, the hideous drawings were the opposite of erotic.
Ken
July 10th, 2025 at 5:15 am Reply
Luann: “Because the fish told me to” is a terrible reason to get a boyfriend, but at least she didn’t decide the fish was telling her to kill and kill again.
Ukranazi Stepan
July 10th, 2025 at 5:34 am Reply
I can only imagine that the Evansi read the last Mary Worth story arc and thought “Wow, why don’t we have an unhealthy human-goldfish pairing as well?”
Rube
July 10th, 2025 at 6:25 am Reply
I thought Pluggers either wore whatever underwear their wives bought for them, or underwear that was so worn out you could no longer tell if they’re boxers or briefs. Pick a lane, Pluggers!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Schroduck
July 11th, 2025 at 4:56 am Reply
SF: How to draw Max Mouse: first draw a penis. A short, chubby one. Real chode. Then, uh, give it some eyes I guess?
pugfuggly
July 11th, 2025 at 5:11 am Reply
@Schroduck: Start by drawing a penis riding a chariot. Then turn the page upside-down…
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
July 11th, 2025 at 5:17 am Reply
@pugfuggly: @Schroduck: Who are you two, and why are you stealing Scratchy Scrotum’s bit?
Dennis Jimenez
July 11th, 2025 at 5:52 am Reply
SFx – My nemonic for step one of a Max Mouse drawing is it starts with a cock, balls and cock ring….
Tabby Lavalamp
July 11th, 2025 at 5:59 am Reply
I think you mean “HOW TO VIOLATE COPYRIGHT Max Mouse”, Bob. I’m surprised the syndicate keeps letting you get away with this. If the kids want a picture of Max to stick on their fridge, they can ask their grandparents what a newspaper is.
taig
July 11th, 2025 at 6:08 am Reply
Sly: Max is going to be disappointed that the featured art will kill and eat him.
Vice President John Adams
July 11th, 2025 at 6:18 am Reply
Good to know that the basis of Max Mouse is a weightlifting shrimp.
Fred Astaire’s Face
July 11th, 2025 at 5:26 am Reply
Zits: Tess, that isn’t his knee.
Mary Worth: Mary is really going to be pissed when she finds out Olive is fucking Ken Kensington.
Needless Exposition
July 11th, 2025 at 5:32 am Reply
@Fred Astaire’s Face: Mary would be pissed. The audience, however, is laughing.
MW: It’s a good thing that Toby’s going to forget this conversation in an hour thanks to her history of substance abuse.
Astroboy
July 11th, 2025 at 7:08 am Reply
@Fred Astaire’s Face:
If Pimento is truly a “kindred spirit,” her relationship with Ken Kensington would be limited to closed mouthed kisses! And blue balls for Ken.
Personally, I’m hoping Pimento is now dating Shove Shovington and has joined his band of Central Park muggers.
Professor Well Actually
July 11th, 2025 at 5:35 am Reply
MW: if Toby had a functioning brain she would call Olive’s parents with a warning about creepy Mary.
Astroboy
July 11th, 2025 at 4:26 am Reply
MW: The authorities might want to take a long, hard look at Mary’s browser history.
Liam
July 11th, 2025 at 5:59 am Reply
MW-“Toby, the love between an elderly lonely woman like me and a rather impressionable child like Olive is special.”
MW-Mary is talking in a roundabout way so she doesn’t end up on a list.
Weaselboy
July 11th, 2025 at 5:39 am Reply
MW – “Olive and I are kindred spirits!” “I see… how many is a kindred?”
I speak Jive
July 11th, 2025 at 6:25 am Reply
Mary Worth – What? Olive is a smug, muffin baking know-it-all who spews platitudes at everyone she knows?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Banana Jr. 6000
July 11th, 2025 at 5:47 am Reply
CS: For the second day in a row, Crankshaft is watching a TV commercial straight out of 1982. Is the janitor nudging time again?
Pluggers: I don’t know why a Plugger has food in his shirt pocket, but I do know why it’s a french fry and not a carrot stick.
TheDiva
July 11th, 2025 at 7:00 am Reply
Pluggers even surprise themselves with the extent of their slovenly behavior.
ValdVin
July 11th, 2025 at 7:07 am Reply
Pluggers forgot “A Plugger can’t figure out how dipping sauce, sesame seeds, and shredded cheese got into his keyboard”. (Take it from a professional.)
But What Do I Know?
July 11th, 2025 at 6:01 am Reply
RwO — That hotel clerk is a real Melvin. All the cool kids know you pay your minibar tab with a GoFundMe. Kickstarter is for the in-room phone charges. . .
Liam
July 11th, 2025 at 6:04 am Reply
Rhymes With Orange-Hotel minibars are still a thing? I thought they went away with things like leaving a hooker on the pillow.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. richardf8
July 6th, 2025 at 8:19 am Reply
Pluggers-Oh. It’s “pluggers are fat and rip their pants when they bend over?” My mistake, I thought it was “pluggers are old and rip the connective tissue between their glutes an iliac crests when they bend over.”
69. Derdrom
July 7th, 2025 at 6:48 am Reply
Based on my own experience with pet fish, Mr. Monstro will jump out of his uncovered tank and asphyxiate within the hour.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Philip
July 8th, 2025 at 6:44 am Reply
Mary Worth – Too bad Crankshaft already left New York, but maybe if The Family Circus is dusting off the old art from a trip in the 1970s they can have Mary make a cameo in the background, or have one of the little melonheads spout a malapropism to her.
Dennis the Menace – Henry knows that Mr. Wilson has been hanging out with Ed Crankshaft at the “Old Men in Comics Mixer”. Mr. Wilson is looking to up his game by being a more assertive pun-giver, not a merely reactionary one, and Henry thinks it will upset the tried-and-true formula they’ve used for decades.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. TheDiva
July 9th, 2025 at 7:02 am Reply
Dustin: “Ten billion dollars can buy lots of peace, love, and tolerance.”
“Explain.”
“Money can be used to correct systemic social issues which create resentment, desperation, and conflict.”
(Also, shut up, Meg. You spend half of your life saying catty mean things to your brother and the other half on your phone, where I assume you say catty mean things to random strangers. You wouldn’t know peace, love, or tolerance if they bit you on the leg.)
Luann: At this point, Bernice would have been born in what, 2006? What were she and Luann doing at malls in the midst of the retail apocalypse? Staring at the decayed husks Waldenbooks and K.B. Toys? Getting harassed at pop-up cell phone kiosks?
MW: It’s a pretty easy guess; I mean, how many people outside of Charterstone does Mary know, anyway?
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
169. ValdVin
July 10th, 2025 at 6:22 am Reply
Arlo and Janis: I’m with Arlo here. These two are the closest-to-real-life legacy comic couple I know of (see April 20, 2009 below it) and they’re way too young in body and mind to be Mary Worth and Jeff.
Blondie: Nameless guy can vacation in Tahiti? He’s way too well off to be in the social group of that carpool.
Congrats to els and my fellow floaters and thanks, Josh and Scratchy!
The Familliar Mucus: “Bend down here, Daddy, I have some juicy gossip about the hot divorcee next door.”
Woooo! Thanks for the mention, Scratchy!
Thanks, Scratchy.
Thanks Josh (and Scratchy), and congrats to all the COTWs!
Low And Hi-less:”…when my ironically purchased lava lamp is hip again.”
@GarrisonSkunk: Wrong thread.
Thanks Scratchy for the mention.:)
Thanks to our host, applause for the named, and I appreciate the scrotes from Scratchy.