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Slightly shorter list of comments of the week for a somewhat shorter week on my part, but this week’s top comment still delivers the laffs!

“Really liking that accusing look on Dennis’s face. ‘I was promised some kind of circus freak who lived like a dog, and instead I get this boring suburban schmoe? Boo! Zero stars!’” –pugfuggly

As do the very funny runners up!

“Or, you know, just throw out that tacky cheap pink vase, Lois. There is no way Hi is going to use the Japanese art of kintsugi to bring new life to it. At best he’ll slather on some Gorilla glue and you’ll constantly have to remember to turn that side to the wall.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Big props to yesterday’s Judge Parker for resolving a plot hole with ‘There was probably an entry code for the vacation home in the stuff Glen sent me, which I didn’t read.’ This rings true to life! On the other hand ‘The CIA agent has a pierced septum’ is probably also true to life and I hate it.” –matt w

“Good resume. But she said she wanted to learn from me, and I wouldn’t like to have any employee with low enough self esteem to actually respect me. Have you seen our record?” –Philip

“Since there are no canals in Hartlepool (research consisting solely of scanning the Wikipedia page of that fair city and not seeing any photos of them), I’d like to think that Andy has fallen into an open sewage ditch. Don’t worry, nothing can kill him!” –But What Do I Know?

“Ever since our AI overlords banished women to an infinite plane that just contains kitchen appliances, I don’t get to talk to my friends much anyway. Who knew that this was how Gamergate was going to end?” –Voshkod

“Yeah, right. You didn’t, Naomi. Olive saved her life. You have nice hair, though.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I might be wrong but I think this whole story line is the plot to Madame Web.” –LTJpezcore1

“Heathcliff’s sign is a command, people! You are BLOWING this!” –A Grave Mind

“It’s late, we should be going. Not that sitting here on your sectional and staring at each other all night wasn’t fun, but we were kind of hoping you would offer us some drinks or snacks or entertainment or conversation. Still, your cat’s writing demonstration was a real surprise, so the evening wasn’t a total loss.” –BigTed

“Heathcliff is holding the sign facing away from the group. The other side says ‘Fuck you people.’” –The Rambling Otter

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