Metapost: Fallin’ for the COTW
Post Content
We’re officially in autumn now, folks, so take a big swig of that pumpkin spice latte [note to intern: find more up-to-date seasonal joke here, maybe find out what the kids on TikTok like] and enjoy this week’s top comment!
“No. No. This is intolerable. Rhino-Man can be drawn in a way that makes him look like the only hairs he has are twelve on his head, but you just wanted to show naked Bear-Plugger. You will not be written in the Book of Life!” –matt w
And the runners up! Very funny!
“Love the sour look on the guy trying to convince Henry to work from home. ‘God, what’ll it take to get rid of this schmo!?’ he thinks.” –Hibbleton
“The Hotel Bingham is just not even trying with its logo. ‘Yeah, yeah, lower-case Arial. That’s good enough for the meatbags who stay here.’” –Joe Blevins
“I’m impressed by Dick Tracy’s technical prowess here. Unlike most people his age, he’s noticed that Google no longer returns useful results. If he searched for her there, he’d get a dubious AI summary above several ads offering to sell ‘New and Used LaKoyles.’ Instead, he goes straight to a reliable source: The Neo-Chicago Daily, whose business model is based on chronicling local crimes and the reasons why police would be justified against any particular citizen.” –Nevin, on Patreon
“There have been a confusing amount of ‘red lines’ mentioned in reporting on climate science that supposedly indicate when we’ve crossed the critical threshold. But I have to say ‘Mary Worth faces death by climatic instability in a hot air balloon while hosting a narcissistic child’ is certainly a sign we’ve lost the fight and must prepare for centuries of disruption.” –Philip
“That’s not the bathroom mirror. That’s Crankshaft’s Dorian Gray portrait, but his soul is so vile and repugnant that it’s only able to take on about half of the physical effects.” –TheDiva
“‘You be sure to have some cake now’ is going to be my new favorite phrase for patronizing dismissal.” –pugfuggly
“Gosh, I hope the poor, innocent trees don’t suffer any serious damage.” –Bob Tice
“The other balloonivators landed when the ground crews radioed the warning about the approaching front. Unfortunately, Stanley didn’t hear it, because he’d turned off his hearing aid after fifteen minutes of listening to Olive and Mary’s inane chatter.” –Ken
“Oh, come on! You can plainly see there’s no other headstones nearby, of course this gentleman got a big enough plot, that’s not the problem here. It’s the lack of plot holes, just the way any novelist would want it.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“The flag in Gearhead Gertie today was a great move; really clarified everything. That had, truly, been the great question on my mind all along, and now I know.” –A Grave Mind
“I’m almost as shocked by this strip’s implications as the wide-eyed kids it’s depicting are! They’ve never met their step-dad before today? They didn’t even attend the wedding? And Steppy McStep-Step there is apparently part of their EMPTY PINK VOID of a house?’ –Victor Von
“Which of the following is most representative of the current state of Beetle Bailey: (a) Only now discovering the 30 year old concept of ‘casual Friday,’ now that workplaces have commonly gone to ‘business casual’ as a default; or (b) thinking that the concept of ‘casual Friday’ could apply to on-duty members of the United States Army?” –Rube
“It’s casual Friday because Gen. Halftrack isn’t there, having been called to Quantico for the all-generals meeting, where he’ll be elevated to the Joint Chiefs. Or maybe executed. The real story is that somebody high up remembered that Camp Swampy still exists.” –Tom T.
“The Smifs hit a new low of hillbilly stereotype by being reduced to eating literal roadkill for dinner. They attempt to take their minds off this depressing horror with jokes. Unfortunately, their writer wouldn’t know a joke if it kicked him in the nuts, so their torment simply persists eternally. Sad!” –ectojazzmage
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15 replies to “Metapost: Fallin’ for the COTW”
My thoughts exactly, matt w, my thoughts exactly.
Way to go matt and the Floaters and the Scroters. Another gnarly week:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
pugfuggly
September 20th, 2025 at 4:51 am Reply
Cshaft: So, this is the church choir that fucks? Each other, I mean, at practice, and then stays mum about it? I think I’m reading that right…
MKay
September 20th, 2025 at 5:00 am Reply
RMMD: New item for my Bucket List: attend a wedding that starts with, “Howdy.”
But What Do I Know?
September 20th, 2025 at 5:20 am Reply
RMMD — Are they getting married on stage? And is it normal to have a spotlight on the bride and groom as say their vows? Did they turn out all the other lights in the venue? Will Lilli Von Stupp throw open the curtain and begin her rendition of “Tired”?
brendancalling
September 20th, 2025 at 5:30 am Reply
RMMD: Years ago I, like Minister Mud Mountain Murphy here, got ordained online by the Universal Life Church to officiate my friend’s wedding. It’s free, and you’re legally allowed to perform marriages, last rites, and a couple other things. You also get a “Clergy” card for your windshield, which has helped me out of a parking ticket or two in a pinch.
Anyway, congrats Truck and Wanda. Now, can we PLEASE have an actual medical storyline? Maybe even surgery?
Hibbleton
September 20th, 2025 at 5:57 am Reply
RMMD: “…I now pronounce you man and wife.” Mud Clunks Truck and Wanda’s heads together like the three stooges. “Sorry, Folks. I’m still not 100% douchebag free.”
Tabby Lavalamp
September 20th, 2025 at 8:30 am Reply
The newlyweds are going to have their honeymoon in a specially kitted out 1953 Ford F100 that Wanda gave a special name to. She is going to fuck Truck in the Fuck Truck. It was a close call though because if Cody was his son, then fuck Truck.
The Rambling Otter
September 20th, 2025 at 5:00 am Reply
RMMD: Mud Mountain Murphy is a minister?
Sounds more like forced bull**** just to squeeze as many characters in as possible, I guess drawing NEW characters is hard… even if all you need to do is put a generic face in priest robes.
Compare with when Iris and Zak got married, Brigman put a lot of detail into the minister to look like Morgan Freeman as much as possible.
That is dedication, and that is not something I would normally say about Mary Worth.
Liam
September 20th, 2025 at 5:13 am Reply
MW-Now Olive must learn how to meddle in people’s lives.
astroboy
September 20th, 2025 at 6:03 am Reply
MW: Mary lavishes praise on herself, and Olive. Olive returns the favor by lavishing praise on Mary, and herself.
Could these two just get a room alrea…oh, waitaminute. Strike that.
Daisy
September 20th, 2025 at 6:19 am Reply
MW: Mary is a step closer to canonizing herself, isn’t she…meanwhile the balloon’s pilot bailed out some time ago and the two passengers are being propelled toward the Karman Line never to be seen again.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
September 20th, 2025 at 6:05 am Reply
FC: Sorry, sweetie. My scent your father likes can’t be put in a bottle. Frankly, it’s kinda gross.
ValdVin
September 20th, 2025 at 6:36 am Reply
FC:
Dolly: “Plus your pearl necklace?”
Thel: “That comes afterwa–”
Dolly: “What?”
Thel: “NOTHING.”
I speak Jive
September 20th, 2025 at 9:11 am Reply
FC – I can’t remember which dog is which. Is that Sam or Barfy? Whichever he is, he looks like he was sniffing around the closet and found Thel’s vodka stash. She’s going to be very upset in around ten minutes.
Bob Tice
September 21st, 2025 at 4:42 am Reply
DtM:
That looks more like a “Where’s Waldo” skyline than it does the skyline of Wichita, KS, where Dennis lives.
Hibbleton
September 21st, 2025 at 4:55 am Reply
DtM: Love the sour look on the guy trying to convince Henry to work from home.
“God, what’ll it take to get rid of this schmo!?” He thinks.
Ken
September 21st, 2025 at 4:46 am Reply
MW: Olive has Belle Batsfrey eyes in panel 6. They’re especially ridiculous considering her ecstatic “I want to do all of that” is to Mary’s “travel and meet people,” as if that’s something rare and exotic.
Time to dredge up that theory that Brigman is using these little touches to express her contempt for Moy’s writing.
Charterstoned
September 21st, 2025 at 6:50 am Reply
MW: I was wondering what the hell kind of conversation this was, until I suddenly realized that Moy had written the dialog as new lyrics for “The Impossible Dream”.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
MKay
September 21st, 2025 at 5:27 am Reply
CROCK: Carlos is inept in many ways. Here he’s terrorizing in a desert environment, and he didn’t even invest in transition lenses. Details matter!
The Rambling Otter
September 21st, 2025 at 5:48 am Reply
Carlos: It’s kibosh time!
Other students: Carlos….!
Liam
September 21st, 2025 at 4:35 am Reply
FC-And the fourth, Broken Condom.
Arabella
September 21st, 2025 at 5:45 am Reply
FC: HTT Grandma finally requested an investigation from Child Protective Services, and now Thel is giving them the evidence they need about her day-drinking.
Schroduck
September 22nd, 2025 at 4:39 am Reply
MW: Some people would face their apparent impending doom with panic, some with stoic bravery. Relatively few would half-smile and think “Hmm…”, but that’s what makes Mary special.
Bob Tice
September 22nd, 2025 at 4:41 am Reply
MW:
Perspicacious Stanley stares in a direction away from the looming cumulonimbus clouds to size up the approaching weather.
treetown
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
MW: The betting is now wide open: Objects falling from space? Balloon or occupants crashing to earth? Weather sweeping MW and Olive like the tornado in the Wizard of Oz into a magical realm? Please go with the Wizard of Oz option. The Wicked Witch can be Belle Batsfree! Wilbur can be the Scarecrow…
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
MW: That’s Odd Stanley. As balloon operators go, Odd Stanley is a better choice than Flat Stanley, and a much better choice than Double Homicide Stanley.
Philip
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:12 am Reply
Mary Worth – There have been a confusing amount of “red lines” mentioned in reporting on climate science that supposedly indicate when we’ve crossed the critical threshold. But I have to say “Mary Worth faces death by climatic instability in a hot air balloon while hosting a narcissistic child” is certainly a sign we’ve lost the fight and must prepare for centuries of disruption.
astroboy
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:20 am Reply
MW: Just how many freakin’ times is Olive going to nearly be killed while hanging out with Mary before Ed and Evy say “enough?”
I guess the answer is: they don’t care as long as they get to boink like bunnies.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:26 am Reply
Say what you will about verisimilitude in Mary Worth, I think the hills burning with a healthy pink glow from the latest round of wildfires is a nice touch.
TheDiva
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:37 am Reply
MW: So Olive can recognize a substance abusing doctor on sight, but can’t tell her balloon pilot doesn’t have a) the literal sense to come in out of the rain or b) a ground crew who can tell him the weather’s taking a bad turn and they should look for a place to land? Maybe he “tummy brain” would be more in tune if Stanley had an ominous last name like Krash or Lightningstrike.
Victor Von
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:51 am Reply
Mary Worth: Looks like Mary’s making a prediction of her own. Exciting! In the grand tradition of prophets everywhere, it’s a silent prediction she’s not acting on in any way! In the end, she won’t use her powers for good or evil, but to say, “I told you so.”
Voshkod
September 22nd, 2025 at 6:00 am Reply
“. . . . but I wouldn’t worry about it. I packed a parachute. You, on the other hand, should worry about it. Geranimooooooooooo!”
Hibbleton
September 22nd, 2025 at 6:11 am Reply
MW: Mr Ballooner realizes he’s suddenly too short to reach any of the overhead controls on his airship.
“Aye, what kind of witchcraft be this!?” He cries in a Scottish brogue.
Olive laughs and says; “I’m just fucking with ya.” As she returns him to full height.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
MKay
September 22nd, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
GT: “GASP?” What’s with “GASP?” Who were they expecting, Knute Rockne?
colonial
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
GT: Coach Thorp … you forgot to wear pants again, didn’t you?
word doctor
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:50 am Reply
GT: “Pardon me while I whip this out” is already taken.
Little Guy
September 22nd, 2025 at 5:47 am Reply
GT: Barajas decides this is the time to bring back LORD GOD THORP, Scourge of Sellers of Bootleg Knockoffs.
Little Blue Bicycle
September 22nd, 2025 at 6:08 am Reply
GT: I know the new Gil Thorp likes celebrity cameos, but I’m truly surprised that Isaac Higgintoot dropped in to the Milford mass indignation meeting on a trans kid in their midst. Perhaps he’s visiting Pop’s ghost in the locker room. Is Milford near Woodstone Manor? Gasp, indeed.
Guts Dozier
September 23rd, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
It’s hard to pick out a single most disturbing element of today’s “Pluggers”, but I’m going to focus on the little protruding tongue. Why is this bear making the universal cartoon expression for “yummy times” ? He’s about to take a big old swig from that shampoo bottle, isn’t he?
matt w
September 23rd, 2025 at 4:43 am Reply
No. No. This is intolerable. Rhino-Man can be drawn in a way that makes him look like the only hairs he has are twelve on his head, but you just wanted to show naked Bear-Plugger. You will not be written in the Book of Life!
Tabby Lavalamp
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:57 am Reply
Well, that explains plugger noses, ears, and eyebrows. And here I thought it was just a natural consequence of aging.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:29 am Reply
Pluggers: Found your problem right here: “Elsa Auerbach, Jamaica Plains, Massachusetts.” I mean, she’s not even a Southie! She lives next door to Brookline, for God’s sake! (It is possible a bear might wander north from the Arnold Arboretum at Harvard University, let’s be fair.)
Vanya
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:59 am Reply
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: As a former resident of Brookline I agree. Jamaica Plain is the kind of town where aging hipsters do “punk aerobics” and hold porch parties with live music. Elsa is just trolling the Plugger readership.
Dmsilev
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:03 am Reply
I call shenanigans on Pluggers. Jamaica Plain, which is a neighborhood in Boston, has demographics (per Wikipedia) of “By the turn of the 21st century, the neighborhood had attracted a large community of college-educated professionals, political activists and artists.”. That is pretty much anti-Plugger territory. This is clearly an attempt by those self-same college-educated professional artistic political activists to stage a hostile takeover of Pluggerdom.
Tonio
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:12 am Reply
Pluggers. Um, no. They’ve been using the same inexpensive, unglamorous brand of shampoo for decades. With their personal care products, they stick with legacy brands long after those products became tired jokes among millennials.
The Rambling Otter
September 23rd, 2025 at 7:15 am Reply
Andy Bear does have twelve protruding hairs on the top of his head.
It must be sad, to have a body full of fur, and still end up with a combover…
nescio
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
Pluggers: Let’s hope this is a walk-in shower because if there’s a tub we’d have to speculate where the spout currently is.
Drew Funk
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:39 am Reply
Pluggers: I feel like there are other types of ineffective Growth Products for Men that pluggers would be more likely to be scammed by.
Brad
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:29 am Reply
I get the distinct impression that plugger won’t be using the product for its intended purpose, going by the look on its face…
Charterstoned
September 23rd, 2025 at 4:54 am Reply
MW: “ARGH!”
Uh, “Talk Like a Pirate Day” was like, four days ago. It’s over, okay? So you can stop with the buccaneer lingo. In this situation, as you and your passengers are about to be dumped out of the gondola a thousand feet above the ground, screaming something like “Oh, FUCK!” or “Holy SHIT!!” is far more appropriate. Keep the “ARGH!” for next September 19.
Ken
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:40 am Reply
@Liam: We’re gonna need another Olive.
You made me look.
My prediction: Stanley the balloonivator is knocked unconscious. Olive channels her past life as Amelia Earhart to bring the balloon to a safe landing. Go on, try to tell me this is too ridiculous for Moy.
Hibbleton
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:11 am Reply
MW: Olive falls out of the gondola and but is saved by Dr Jeff flying by in his biplane.
“Whoa! where’d you come from? Heh, heh.”
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2025 at 7:07 am Reply
MW- ” The weather started getting rough, The tiny aircraft was tossed. Ir not for Olive’s special gifts the Balloon would be lost!” But seriously, with an arrgh and an oof all they have to do is throw that friggin’ air conditioner overboard and gain some altitude. Problem solved.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
pugfuggly
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:10 am Reply
RMMD “You make sure to have some cake now” is going to be my new favorite phrase for patronizing dismissal.
Banana Jr. 6000
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:40 am Reply
RMMD: “Yes, we’re actually looking to hire a funny teenager. Do either of you know any?”
Voshkod
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:08 am Reply
The Purple Void is the number one 21-and-up club in the greater Tri-City area! Available for weddings, funerals, Rotary Club meetings, and teenage vaudeville acts!
TheDiva
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:36 am Reply
RMMD: I love how Truck deflects the question of “Beanpole and Shorty” booking their act at a hardscrabble dive bar. “Gee, I don’t know if Lou would go for that. Either he’ll laugh in your face or he’ll book you just for the amusement of watching truckers and bikers throw beer bottles at your weird little neo-vaudeville act, but hey, you won’t know until you ask him. In the meantime, have some cake!”
But What Do I Know?
September 23rd, 2025 at 5:49 am Reply
RMMD — “We’re great. We couldn’t have dates for eighth-grade Prom so at least we got some use out of these cumberbunds! Uh, can I get a rimshot?
James A. — Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Liam
September 23rd, 2025 at 4:32 am Reply
Garfield-Is this the first time a setting is established for ‘Garfield’?
F S.M.
September 23rd, 2025 at 4:29 am Reply
Muncie explains a few things.
Drew Funk
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:39 am Reply
Garfield: So, is it common knowledge that Jim Davis is from Muncie, or do I just know that because I live pretty close to Muncie?
Peanut Gallery
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:47 am Reply
Six Chix – These kids today, with their ironically meta tattoos! They deserve to be afflicted with talking cats that pee on everything.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
WesC
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:55 am Reply
9CL: Should I comment or should I not, should I, should I not… sigh. Impossibly long diving board with Edda’s impossibly long legs and her body in an impossibly stable position, and Alistair recognizes her kooch?
I speak Jive
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:53 am Reply
9CL – The creepiness of this didn’t even register for me, because I was so distracted by the appalling artwork. Lolly’s right arm looks like it was transplanted from an ape. I seriously wonder if anything is wrong with Brooke.
Popper Cherry
September 24th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
Family Circus: Dolly will soon be singing, “You are the wind beneath my clit.”
Guillermo el Chiclero
September 24th, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
FC. The original caption said, ” Whee! The wind is tickling my hoo-haw, Daddy!” But the editors nixed that.
ValdVin
September 24th, 2025 at 5:33 am Reply
FC: Dolly saying anything is “Ticklin’ my tummy” won’t do anything to stop the rumors.
H&L: You’re the youngest in a house full of children with exhausted and neglectful parents, Trixie. Who are you trying to fool about “empty diaper”?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
matt w
September 24th, 2025 at 4:38 am Reply
R.I.P., Mary Worth. You taught me how to look up brainyquotes.
matt w
September 24th, 2025 at 4:41 am Reply
Writing tip: When you find yourself ending a sentence “are alarmed by sudden events,” that’s when you go back and turn the subordinate clause into the main clause.
Ukranazi Stepan
September 24th, 2025 at 4:39 am Reply
Wary Morth:
“Oh, the humanity!”
MKay
September 24th, 2025 at 4:42 am Reply
MW: It was in the waiver: “In the event of impending disaster, if an interjection is required, ‘AUGHHH!’ and only ‘AUGGGH!’ will be uttered.”
pugfuggly
September 24th, 2025 at 4:43 am Reply
MW Do you think that scream is in three-part harmony? I’d like to think so. Something appropriate for the situation, like a solemn minor triad, or maybe an augmented chord to denote panic.
astroboy
September 24th, 2025 at 4:49 am Reply
MW: The sky was angry that day, my friends. Angry like an old woman trying to send back salmon at The Bum Boat.
Quiggle
September 24th, 2025 at 5:05 am Reply
For the Sunday MW quote, may I suggest “Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon,” by A.A. Milne.
Pro Tip for Olive: Mary testing the limits of her Depends shields whilst screaming in Peanutsesque terror could make the souvenir VHS tape (or whatever they have now) Charterstone’s “Rocky Horror” equivalent. Just a good investment is all I’m sayin’….
CanuckDownSouth
September 24th, 2025 at 5:25 am Reply
MW Even if a balloon went down early and somehow everyone onboard had no functioning phones / any radio is damaged, you would think it wouldn’t be exactly hard to find them. What with the big balloon and all. Yet somehow I fear we’re going to have rescue drama with Eve and Saul’s dogs – as the only ones in California who’ve scented Olive – as their only hope.
I am only reading to see if it will somehow get dumber than that…
Liam
September 25th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
FC-Eh. Mommy polishes the neighbors’ doorknobs.
Guillermo el Chiclero
September 25th, 2025 at 7:23 am Reply
FC: Mommy, Daddy’s giving PJ a stiffy!
Ukulele Ike
September 25th, 2025 at 6:03 am Reply
RMMD: ”Don’t just take the brown balls. Try some of the blue balls, too.”
Bob Tice
September 25th, 2025 at 4:33 am Reply
MW:
“Are you okay, Mary?”
****
That is a question of such incredible depth and complexity that it is probably best answered in a doctoral dissertation.
A Grave Mind
September 25th, 2025 at 4:36 am Reply
I love the emphasis Stanley puts on “phones,” like they are a grand, daresay exotic, new thing. No more smoke signals for us, no sir!
Stacker
September 25th, 2025 at 4:38 am Reply
MW: is about to show you smart ass pricks who are always complaining about the strips lack of and mal use of cell phones that in the forest they are as useful as tits on a bull. Take that haters!
Needless Exposition
September 25th, 2025 at 4:39 am Reply
MW: The only casualty in this accident is June Brigman’s perspective. Olive just hit a growth spurt while Mary is shrinking like a dehydrated ficus plant in August. Meanwhile Stanley is debating whether or not he should just risk the fall and be done with it.
seismic-2
September 25th, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
MW: “How could this have happened?” Good question, Stanley! Let’s ask the operators of all the other balloons in the festival, since apparently it didn’t happen to any of them!
Dmsilev
September 25th, 2025 at 6:24 am Reply
Yes, Mary, call for help. Then you’ll get to learn first hand how very not-amused the emergency services folks can get when they’re called out to bail some people out from the consequences of their own abject stupidity. Usually expressed as a bill for services rendered. What’s the hourly rate on a helicopter and rescue team?
Drew Funk
September 25th, 2025 at 6:37 am Reply
Mary Worth: Tomorrow in Mary Worth, the pine tree snaps back upright like a trebuchet and sends them flying.
Tabby Lavalamp
September 25th, 2025 at 6:12 am Reply
And now for words that have never been uttered before – it’s too bad Wilbur isn’t in this Mary Worth story. It would have been enjoyable seeing him land in that tree for it to bounce back, launching him to another. We could have had an entire week of the forest tossing him from tree to tree.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
TheDiva
September 25th, 2025 at 6:50 am Reply
JP: Very telling that Charlotte’s first assumption is that if she points out her school bully Neddy will put a hit out on her.
Luann: Gunther wearing a stupid dog costume and eagerly discussing office supplies while his nominal girlfriend struts around in the most blatantly fetishistic Catwoman costume in the canon tells you everything you need to know about him.
ValdVin
September 25th, 2025 at 7:02 am Reply
Luann: I did laugh at Bets saying “accordion folder” with quotation marks. Little things like this make a gag work.
Baja Gaijin
September 26th, 2025 at 4:26 am Reply
Slylock Fox: With arms like that, masturbation must be a bitch. Then again, with the long flexible anteater’s tongue, maybe not.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
pugfuggly
September 26th, 2025 at 4:33 am Reply
BB “I have a new outfit for casual friday. I’ll show you as soon as I get out if my bowling league uniform.”
MKay
September 26th, 2025 at 5:09 am Reply
BB: I’m surprised that Camp Sexist, er, I mean SWAMPY doesn’t have a “No Slacks for Women” rule that applies only to Ms Buxley.
Guts Dozier
September 26th, 2025 at 5:17 am Reply
BB: I love that the colourist chose to use those little grey diamonds (a relic of 20th century printing) only on Private Blips’ arm, implying that she has some terrible disease (which SHOULD be a relic of the 20th century, but I digress…)
Hibbleton
September 26th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
MW: Stanley convinces them that they can fashion a makeshift rope long enough to reach the ground by stripping out of their clothes. They all start undressing and as Mary gets down to her thong. “Uh, I think we’re good.” Says Stanley.
Charterstoned
September 26th, 2025 at 4:50 am Reply
MW: “We’re TOO FAR away from civilization!”
Mary summarizes the entire gestalt of the Worthiverse in a mere six words.
Schroduck
September 26th, 2025 at 5:03 am Reply
Crankshaft: I guess the joke is that Crank’s friend asked “How are they making out?” and he thought that meant “Tell me the details of their sex life”. “They’re managing to keep their bed above water” means they have some very specific boat-related fetishes.
Her Father, John Darling
September 26th, 2025 at 5:55 am Reply
CS. Those are two men who would only use the term “partner” in a business sense and, therefore, I assume they know Max runs a theater with a woman but think it’s purely platonic, if not not wholly transactional.
TheDiva
September 26th, 2025 at 6:35 am Reply
C’shaft: Max and Mindy are married, right? And Mindy hasn’t come out as trans or non-binary or anything other than cisgender female, right? So there’s absolutely no reason why anyone, especially someone of Token Black Bus Driver’s generation, would identify her as Max’s “partner” rather than his “wife” and this is just Batiuk’s typically awkward exposition at work, right?
Tabby Lavalamp
September 26th, 2025 at 5:41 am Reply
“Screw it. At least it rhymes.”
– Tom Batiuk, 2025
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Will
September 22nd, 2025 at 7:24 am Reply
Luann: 3 costume changes in 3 minutes. Gunther is even an overachiever at being a cosplayer.
69. Drew Funk
September 23rd, 2025 at 6:46 am Reply
Six Chix: Tuesday Chick made me laugh today. Not with the main joke, but TATTOOS on the arm was a funny detail.
Gil Thorp: Gil Thorp is still at the top of my GoComics feed. I hope Neil Rubin and Rod Whigham are enjoying their retirements.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. The Rambling Otter
September 25th, 2025 at 6:36 am Reply
Six Chix: An old computer game I played, where you have to sneak out of an evil fairy’s castle, maneuvering your character down old curvy staircases with the arrow keys, one wrong step and you fall off to your doom.
You can also visit the Good Fairy’s castle, who also has staircases. To quote this one Let’s Player “You know that she’s the good fairy because she has RAILINGS!”
What I am getting at in context to Six Chix… actually aside from “Stairs” I don’t remember what I was getting at. I guess I can’t keep my ramble subsided like I promised.
69. Pat O’Neill
September 26th, 2025 at 6:36 am Reply
Beetle: I’m not sure uniformed service people (like Blips) are permitted casual anything. “Casual” at most means fatigues
Thanks guys!
Thanks, Scratchy.
Congrats matt w, thanks for keeping Pluggers lore and biology honest!
And congrats to the runners up this week, keeping the other comics honest to their plot holes, irrational takes, or making them more relevant with takes on current events.