Metapost: It is time. Time … for the comments. Comments ……… of the week
Post Content
Your top comment …………… right here …………………….. right now:
“I have to assume the Perfesser was examined in the conference room because past conduct required the hospital lawyer to be there. What we’re seeing is the POV of the attorney, hence why the Perfesser is looking directly at the reader and attempting a legalistic argument to defend ignoring his doctor’s advice.” –Philip
And your runners up!!!!!!!!
“Pluggers blur the line between back pain and hip dysplasia.” –Hibbleton
“There’s a lot of subtext in Eve’s ‘Oh … okay,’ most of it along the lines of ‘is she dangerous?’” –Ken
“Given the genericness of Olive’s animal whispering here, I’m starting to believe that Olive is less ‘psychic’ and more ‘imaginative child who has learned how to apply the Barnum effect to fleece these geezers for all they’re worth,’ and I can’t think of a better hobby for a young girl.” –Library Seraph
“Oh he’s standing up? God, I thought the punchline was going to be ‘Pluggers can’t find the remote until it’s at least 2 inches inside.’” –pugfuggly
“Anyway, can you help me? I’ve been vaguely poking at this carrot with a knife for an hour but I can’t seem to cut it.” –TheDiva
“The funny part is, these people aren’t even house-shopping. They needed someone with time on her hands to vent at, and, well, Lois is a failure.” –A Grave Mind
“Family Circus is moving into the crudely labeled political cartoon game. Jeffy symbolizes Jeffy. (They’re not very good at it.)” –matt w
“So it is possible to achieve Felony Fire Hydrant Pissing.” –Mkay
“[Adjusting tie over sloppy shirt] Could you maybe phrase your medical advice in a way that implies I get no respect?” –Dan
“The fridge has a light to expose your nakedness and sin before God and neighbor, Cosmo, everybody knows this! Seriously, you should either wear pajamas or pull the kitchen blinds.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“Probably Leroy insulted the French waiter by noticing that he is the only person in universe with a chin. Sure, being chinless is monstrous for us, but this is a Twilight Zone situation.” –Ettore Costa, on BlueSky
“Ok, because sometimes comic strips’ niche interests overlap with my own, I can answer today’s Rex Morgan, M.D.: No, ‘they’ have not started calling Americana music ‘Ameripolitan,’ unless the ‘they’ you are referring to is ‘fans of roots singer Dale Watson.’ Watson has tried to push this branding, going so far as to host an Ameripolitan Awards ceremony for over a decade. Though he is a respected part of the community, no one uses that term unless they’re at his ceremony or on his payroll.This scene could still be a realistic slice of life! Hank might be a gatekeeper, mouthing questionable facts to remind his wife of his superiority. Or maybe Dale Watson himself is in this wedding audience and spreading his brand to gullible old men. There are lots of possibilities, and we’ll need this comic to spend the next month telling us exactly why we are hearing this slightly misinformed statement about country music labels!” –Nevin, on Patreon
“Judge Parker’s fascinating. In panel 1, Sam and Abbey are in conversation. In panel 2, they’ve rotated on a giant turntable. Sam’s talking to a point behind Abbey’s head while she stares directly at me and tells me ‘Let me stop you there with a big no.’ How did she know? How did she know my plans, my terrible secrets? Whatever they are, I guess I’ll be putting them on hold until some future strip, where Abbey stares into the camera and says ‘You know what to do.’” –Matthew Z. Wood
“Being a plugger is a life of misery but come on, fight back against the inevitable just a little. Do not go gentle into that good night/ Pluggers should burn and rave at close of day/ Rage, rage against the dying of the light/ Using a washing machine is a-okay.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Oh sure — and learn a practical skill like arithmetic? Well, no thank you…” –Dennis Jimenez
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8 replies to “Metapost: It is time. Time … for the comments. Comments ……… of the week”
Short balls week – I’ve been gone a bit. Sorry to those I’ve missed this week, but please know you all hold a special place in my [pick your organ].
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Ukulele Ike
September 13th, 2025 at 6:17 am Reply
Blondie: If you want Dagwood to donate to save the snails, it helps to call them “escargot.”
Peanut Gallery
September 13th, 2025 at 6:44 am Reply
Blondie – Which archipelago? This fundraising pitch is obviously phony. I bet the pharmacist’s name isn’t even really Corner!
ectojazzmage
September 13th, 2025 at 7:28 am Reply
Blondie: It probably says a lot about the writer of this comic that they’re acting oppressed over having the option to donate to charity while buying groceries. “How fucking dare these liberal pieces of shit expect me to donate to helping children with cancer?! Bastards!”
Tabby Lavalamp
September 13th, 2025 at 7:43 am Reply
No wonder we don’t see Dagwood with many friends his own age. Being this prone to peer pressure he probably long ago realized it’s best to avoid the sort of entanglements that can lead to smoking, drugs, non-marital sex, or improv classes.
BigTed
September 13th, 2025 at 4:43 am Reply
Blondie: Dagwood is a married adult with a house and kids — it’s sad that he has to pick up random drugstore products and donate to some weird charity, just so no one notices him buying condoms.
Hibbleton
September 13th, 2025 at 4:46 am Reply
It’d be a little more convincing if Dagwood wasn’t in an old timey pharmacy buying Blondie sanitary pads in the vintage, blue Kotex box.
H&L: Fat lazy slob with man boobs in a wet golf shirt —In case you wondered how Irma gets her freak on.
Charterstoned
September 13th, 2025 at 6:03 am Reply
MW: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Dennis Jimenez
September 13th, 2025 at 4:46 am Reply
JP – You know what would put a smile on Neddy’s face? How ‘bout a little of the old In & Out burger….
Needless Exposition
September 13th, 2025 at 5:18 am Reply
JP: It’s a contest of who can pull off the best Resting Bitch Face except Abbey also looks like she smelled something unpleasant. Most likely Neddy’s body odor.
Lord Flatulence
September 13th, 2025 at 8:18 am Reply
JP: “You know what, Neddy? Fuck you! Go find your own place to live, and pay for your own burger, too!”
TheDiva
September 13th, 2025 at 8:17 am Reply
JP: So Neddy just gave up on the avocado toast and decided to have a burger for breakfast, then?
The Quiet Man
September 13th, 2025 at 4:57 am Reply
JP: ‘….and where’s my g-d$@*&% avocado for this burger??!?!?’
RMMD: They mucked up the italicizing in panel two. With that squinched, constipated face on Spudson it should be ‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world, *Dad*…’
Liam
September 13th, 2025 at 6:09 am Reply
RMMD-And thus the story ends. Join us Monday as we begin a new story with identical looking people.
Professor Well Actually
September 14th, 2025 at 5:01 am Reply
MW: next she’ll communicate with Wilbur’s fish. And that sounds dirty to me.
The Rambling Otter
September 14th, 2025 at 5:08 am Reply
If Olive meets Wilbur, and senses him having a “pure” and “kind” aura. I’m done with Mary Worth forever.
(
Who am I kidding, I’ll probably still continue to hate read it anyway)Ken
September 14th, 2025 at 5:10 am Reply
MW: There’s a lot of subtext in Eve’s “Oh… okay,” most of it along the lines of “is she dangerous?”
The Rambling Otter
September 14th, 2025 at 5:12 am Reply
So, Olive is psychic, can see fairies and angels, can talk to dogs.
This is becoming less of her being Saint Olive, and more of her having the X-Men mutant gene. Which of course Mary would never approve of.
I guess her parents got it on so often, it broke the fabric of reality when she was actually conceived.
Charterstoned
September 14th, 2025 at 6:13 am Reply
MW: on Kinky Tuesdays, Saul and Eve exchange their neckwear.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Pozzo
September 14th, 2025 at 4:44 am Reply
Pluggers: Five will get you ten he first heard of the sacroiliac on “The Flintstones.”
Jay Brutus
September 14th, 2025 at 5:17 am Reply
Pluggers engage in the logical fallacy of denying the antecedent
nescio
September 14th, 2025 at 5:30 am Reply
They should just retitle “Pluggers” as “Pain, No Gain”.
Dennis Jimenez
September 14th, 2025 at 4:46 am Reply
Pluggers – The expression, no pain – no gain, means Pluggers are a constant pain…IN THE ASS! Thanx – Max Sciatica, Great Neck, NY….
JP – What do you call a two-bit hooker with chlamydia? A quarter pounder…w/ cheese….
BigTed
September 14th, 2025 at 4:47 am Reply
Judge Parker: It’s even funnier that by the last panel, we see that she’s never even taken a bite out of the burger. Guess that opening drawing really was just to appeal to our prurient interest in pre-mastication.
Karen Ballsnatch
September 14th, 2025 at 6:12 am Reply
@BigTed: I think the censors changed the pre-mastication scene from a brat to a hamburger.
On that note, in Crankshaft, I think Ed was trying to give the therapist his brat.
taig
September 14th, 2025 at 5:57 am Reply
CS: Crankshaft really should think about getting his colon checked.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Lord Flatulence
September 15th, 2025 at 5:24 am Reply
Pluggers:
*Grunt*
*Groan*
*Shits his pants*
Little Blue Bicycle
September 15th, 2025 at 6:42 am Reply
MW: The dogs are so happy now that Olive is having a stroke.
ectojazzmage
September 15th, 2025 at 7:48 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Especially you guys” and the wink makes this WAY creepier in vibes than Moy probably wanted.
taig
September 15th, 2025 at 6:48 am Reply
Dustin: My theory is that Helen sets up these situations to humiliate Ed at work. He thinks he’s pedantically getting away with something, but he just looks foolish.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
The Rambling Otter
September 15th, 2025 at 6:54 am Reply
Crock: “I joined the legion to forget that I wrote 9 Chickweed Lane”
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 15th, 2025 at 8:10 am Reply
Crock: Oh no! Somehow I’ve absconded with one of the world’s most priceless treasures! What shall I do? Try to ransom the goods? Find a fence? No, I’ll just try to get it out of my mind by joining the French Foreign Legion. Preferably a battalion commanded by an abusive sociopath.
CanuckDownSouth
September 16th, 2025 at 9:22 am Reply
FC Well, there *is* a solution Jeffy, but it’s not temporary and involves some funerals…
Ettorre
September 16th, 2025 at 9:32 am Reply
You could make a joke about how the sperm that produced Billy answered the call earlier than the sperm that produced Jeffy and that’s why he gets to be older, but maybe sperms do not live for years and anyway it would only be half the person because the other half comes from the mother — whatever Aeschylus says — and neither I nor anyone wants to think too long about Bil’s sperm, so let’s forget about it
Ettorre
September 16th, 2025 at 9:33 am Reply
@Ettorre: If this comment doesn’t even get moderated, what’s the point of the system?
Ukranazi Stepan
September 16th, 2025 at 9:35 am Reply
@Ettorre:
One of Joseph Wambaugh’s novels had a character called Spermwhale Whalen.
Sequitur
September 16th, 2025 at 10:06 am Reply
@5 Ettorre:
BIL’S SPERM! Cumming soon to a theater near you!
Voshkod
September 16th, 2025 at 9:35 am Reply
“Billy’s in charge because he doesn’t need to have his name on his shirt so he doesn’t forget it. Forget his name, that is. Or his shirt.”
Schroduck
September 16th, 2025 at 10:29 am Reply
Change.org petition for the Family Circus to put their characters in name-branded sweaters at all time. Jeffy is a good start, but I’m a busy man. I don’t have time to remember which walking reminder that Thel forgot to take her pill is which.
Charterstoned
September 16th, 2025 at 9:38 am Reply
MW: I’m just relieved Olive doesn’t aspire to be a fashion designer. “Electrical tape is IN this season! Add it around a top to define or minimize the bust, accent sleeves on one or both sides to evoke protest or mourning without having to go all Gothic, and for repairing an accidental tear or holding a drooping hemline in place, it can’t be beat!”
Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!
September 16th, 2025 at 10:25 am Reply
MW: BINGO! And just like that – The Ladies wrote in a reason to visit Animal Hospital! It sure pays to get the *deluxe* organic fruit gift baskets these days! I frankly thought they’d come up with something more *relevant* to Olive’s supposed telepathic powers – like sensing that Max has an intestinal blockage and insisting he get to the vet ASAP. But I guess it’s good enough that Olive wants to be a vet… close enough for soap opera.
Anyway, if The Ladies follow through on the deal, our powerhouse Stars, Libby, Pierre, and Odin, will be gracing these panels very soon – maybe even this month. Great job, Intern! You got into their studio with the gift baskets in spite of the restraining order…
Banana Jr. 6000
September 16th, 2025 at 11:24 am Reply
MW: This is what I was afraid of. Olive is basically a 65-year-old, with zero teenage interests or behaviors. Don’t tell me about her wanting to be one of the popular girls: she won their regard by saving a life, then immediately ditched them to hang out with Mary some more. Now she’s going on cross-country trips by herself. At this point she might as well hook up with Wilbur. She’s not that much younger than Belle Batsfrey.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Guillermo el Chiclero
September 16th, 2025 at 11:03 am Reply
RMMD: Notice how smugly Yvonne looks at June. “At least I still have my mullet tail. We’re you attacked by a hedge trimmer?”
Liam
September 17th, 2025 at 4:58 am Reply
FC-And how many times has Thel been ridden like this?
ValdVin
September 17th, 2025 at 4:49 am Reply
FC: When Daddy asked Thel “How about a little horseplay?” this wasn’t what she had in mind.
Bob Tice
September 17th, 2025 at 5:12 am Reply
FC:
“Mom, can we do this in front of Target? — I’ll bring the quarter!”
Guillermo el Chiclero
September 17th, 2025 at 6:18 am Reply
FC: Enough horsey, Mommy. Let’s do doggy style!
G. Spot
September 17th, 2025 at 7:16 am Reply
FC – If you can touch the right button like Daddy occasionally does, I’ll show you some bucking.
Hibbleton
September 17th, 2025 at 6:08 am Reply
JP: Sam is leering at Abbey’s backside while holding a carrot slice the same way you’d load a coin into a slot machine. Maybe “couch” is her safe word?
Little Guy
September 17th, 2025 at 7:50 am Reply
JP: This comment has been redacted: Subject – the current Vice-President.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Ukulele Ike
September 17th, 2025 at 8:00 am Reply
MW: ”What’s with the cold sandwiches for dinner? Aren’t you supposed to be this famous fucking cook?”
Pozzo
September 19th, 2025 at 4:35 am Reply
Pluggers: That’s one good thing about underwear — no one can see the stains. (Excuse me while I go scrub my brain.)
I speak Jive
September 19th, 2025 at 8:48 am Reply
Mary Worth – “We’re capable of making big changes . . . We can make a difference!” What? Mary didn’t remind us how special Olive is? Or more likely, Olive would say, “I know I can make a big difference, because I’m so special and have special gifts. Have I mentioned that I’m special?” It’s been at least a day since anyone said it. People could forget how special Olive is, and we can’t have that. Have I mentioned that Olive is special?
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis)
September 17th, 2025 at 8:33 am Reply
RMMD: The Ritz Brothers? Aunt Fritzi had brothers?! I suppose they were gradually shoved aside to make room for a more interesting character, much like Olive Oyl’s brothers.