Metapost: Wintry COTW
Post Content
Cold enough for ya??? Well, warm yourself in the bright glow of this week’s top comment:
“Augie should just explain to Summer that, in accordance with their namesake seasons, she is hot and boring whereas Autumn is cool and interesting.” –Violet
And of course your hilarious runners up will keep the chill away:
“I choose to believe that the “squawk” box in the last panel is also part of Ian’s dialog.” –Dmsilev
“Ok, that’s all good and well, but why is he eating outside? Turkey farts? Probably turkey farts.” –pugfuggly
“He’s depressed in advance about how much pie he’s going to lose in that beard.” –MKay
“Humpty didn’t crack open his fellow carton-mate, but he did feast on the albumeny innards of the predeceased, a crime so heinous they have no law against it.” –Rex Thrillho, on BlueSky
“Dustin has embraced his inner Crankshaft, God help us all.” –TheSodorViaduct, on BlueSky
“We see these occasional departures where the strip explores the lives of popular nursery rhyme characters. Is the titular Mother Goose telling these stories to entertain children? Or, since we’ve never seen her with any kids, does she make these stories up to ward off children? Probably the latter, right?” –Victor Von
“I’ve never seen an egg-human with such a small face before. Not clear why I find this vaguely unsettling.” –some guy vaguely unsettled by a cartoon of an egg
“That look on Augie’s face is perfect for someone who has tried over and over to explain the concept of a fictional character inspired by a real person. ‘Please don’t ask for details. You said yourself that she’s smart. I don’t want to admit that that’s one of the differences.’” –Nevin, on Patreon
“You got any six-day old food? Does your disgusting filthy restaurant have any meat that’s just been sitting around since last Thursday? I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, and a bit of violent food poisoning would do the job nicely.” –Schroduck
“Listen, when I texted you ‘semiotic theory and chill?’ this is not what I had in mind.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“I enjoy Dick Tracy helpfully providing a balloon labeled ‘machine gun.’ They need to go the full nine here, though! ‘Dick Tracy’s Hand!’ ‘Cigarette!’ ‘Thinking Cop’s Chin!’ Oh, the possibilities!” –A Grave Mind
“I struggle to believe that cars in the Alice-verse are that expensive. I mean, they’d just be made out of vague abstract shapes like everything else in this comic.” –ectojazzmage
“Well, you’re certainly a plugger if you read your mail while standing by your mailbox, as opposed to, say, walking a few feet into the comfort of your own home where you can sit down; it’s easier to read; there’s a letter opener; etc.” –Bob Tice
“TIRED: Wilbur is bad at raising a pet
WIRED: Ian emerges menacingly from the mist to visit his wrath upon a pet” –Dan“I’d be more upset about Jeffy pulling her coat down off her neck to ogle her nape. Probably why Thel wears a turtleneck in the house.” –Hibbleton
“Look at that disaster! Wishing well? More like wishing badly!” –Ettorre
“I’m intrigued by Jeffy’s odd facial expression and posture. I can only assume he’s imitating long-dead variety show host Ed Sullivan, which would be spot-on for this strip.” –Joe Blevins
“In an attempt to stay relevant, Heathcliff has adopted Netflix’s strategy of having characters explain everything that’s happening in detail so that viewers can still keep up with the plot while being glued to their phones. Tomorrow’s caption: ‘The stench of rotting meat has attracted the Beings, and we are all in grave danger.’” –Austria
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5 replies to “Metapost: Wintry COTW”
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 1
GarrisonSkunk
November 28th, 2025 at 1:04 pm Reply
Mary Worth: Is Quality Pellets™ from the same company that makes Good Dog Food™ and Wilber Chow™?
Sequitur
November 28th, 2025 at 1:19 pm Reply
Blondie Spanish to English.
Television: “And doctors have come to the conclusion that eating food from the Late Thread Cuisine can and probably will cause serious gastrointestinal disturbances. Huy! Ugh!”
“That guy on TV is full of shit, right Lou!”
“I think so.
“How soon until the *Baja Gaijin* special is ready”
“Now!”
Liam
November 29th, 2025 at 5:27 am Reply
Six Chix: What Marmaduke has joined together no man may tear asunder.
MKay
November 29th, 2025 at 6:02 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “Wow, if you read more than just the title page and dedication, there’s a whole STORY. No wonder people like these book things!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 29th, 2025 at 12:42 pm Reply
Beetle Bailey: It’s a real head-spinner to find out simultaneously that Camp Swampy has an urban myth status on the level of Area 51 and that any civilian can breach its perimeter in a Shriner’s parade minicar.
The Rambling Otter
November 29th, 2025 at 2:17 pm Reply
Six Chix: Well, Roger and Anita met through their dogs, in Disney’s “101 Dalmatians.” except that was sweet and heartwarming.
Gil Bates
November 30th, 2025 at 4:42 am Reply
Pluggers: Santa’s family exiled him outside during mid-dessert due to obnoxious political views and body odor.
MKay
November 30th, 2025 at 4:50 am Reply
Mary Worth: I’m 10% sympathetic towards Ian, 40% disgusted with his chauvinism and 50% laughing my ass off, because damn, that was FUNNY!
Bob Tice
November 30th, 2025 at 5:26 am Reply
Mary Worth: While Toby would like a paesano
Irked Ian shouts, “Mano a mano!”
But Toby prevails
While Cameron flails –
He’ll douse the Perfesser with guano!
The Quiet Man
November 30th, 2025 at 5:47 am Reply
Mary Worth: Ian looks like he was about to launch into ‘O What a Beautiful Morning’ from ‘Oklahoma!’ as he made his entrance.
McManx
November 30th, 2025 at 7:12 am Reply
Slylock Fox: Snake notwithstanding, I have seen Count Weirdly naked and I’m praying his invisibility formula works fast… VERY fast.
Joe Blevins
November 30th, 2025 at 7:29 am Reply
Pluggers: There’s one detail of this I find unrealistic. If you’re resigned to eating pie outdoors during a snowstorm, you’re no longer bother with forks. You’re past the silverware stage.
Anonyminimouse
November 30th, 2025 at 11:58 am Reply
Mary Worth:
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, ‘It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!’
SO THERE’S NO ROOM FOR A F***ING PARROT AS WELL!!!
Earl
November 30th, 2025 at 5:23 pm Reply
Poor Mr. Plugger has been thrown out into the cold, dreary night with only a slice of pie to sustain him. He’s freezing up right now, and has been standing there for an hour, his limbs frozen solid. See his eyes? And the freshly fallen snow on his pie. This plugger will not be plugging by morning.
richardf8
November 30th, 2025 at 7:06 pm Reply
Mary Worth: That bird is a miracle! He has returned our beloved blowhard Ian back to us.
matt w
December 1st, 2025 at 4:42 am Reply
Dustin: Oh dear, today I find Ed Kudlick relatable. Joining a monastery now.
pugfuggly
December 1st, 2025 at 4:47 am Reply
Mother Goose and Grimm: C’mon officer: he was trying to put them back together again! Unless the crime is corpse desecration? Hmmm, yeah, probably, now that I think of
MKay
December 1st, 2025 at 4:58 am Reply
Rex Morgan: I hate to beat a boring horse, but seriously, is this Summer’s first-ever book?
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
December 1st, 2025 at 5:15 am Reply
Mother Goose and Grimm: “Listen, Officer, we were doing Ovarian Underground’s ‘Dumpty Dance,’ and I’ll admit things kinda got out of hand…”
Victor Von
December 1st, 2025 at 5:34 am Reply
Mother Goose and Grimm: We see these occasional departures where the strip explores the lives of popular nursery rhyme characters. Is the titular Mother Goose telling these stories to entertain children? Or, since we’ve never seen her with any kids, does she make these stories up to ward off children? Probably the latter, right?
Hibbleton
December 1st, 2025 at 5:49 am Reply
Judge Parker: “Grandma, why is Grandpa lying in that wooden box surrounded by candles?”
“Oh, it’s nothing but just make sure you and Neddy leave before it gets
But What Do I Know?
December 1st, 2025 at 6:03 am Reply
Dustup: Curse you, DustDad! I actually owned and played that game as a kid. There’s no power on heaven or earth that could entice me to go search for it in the basement now that your foul sausage fingers are touching it.
Harmless little bunny
December 1st, 2025 at 6:52 am Reply
Mother Goose and Grimm: Or maybe we’ll just skip the paperwork and end it right here with a painless little “fall”.
BigTed
December 1st, 2025 at 7:55 am Reply
Mother Goose and Grimm: They’re not taking any chances… Dumpty will go to the electric griddle, and get a lethal injection of Tabasco. It’s what cops call the Texas Denny’s Breakfast Special.
JustSomeGuy
December 1st, 2025 at 9:57 pm Reply
Dustin: I hope next Dustin sets up an elaborate way to say “Et Tu, Brute!” – imagine the laughs.
Pozzo
December 2nd, 2025 at 4:35 amReply
Blondie: Is Lou gripping that cup by the top, where it’s hottest? Look, we’ve seen your tattoo; you don’t have to prove you’re tough.
pugfuggly
December 2nd, 2025 at 4:46 amReply
Blondie: That is Dagwood suddenly realizing that Lou does not eat food from his own diner, and coming to some troubling conclusions.
Guts Dozier
December 2nd, 2025 at 4:58 amReply
Slylock Fox: The left timeline seems like a much better universe than the right. People have more teeth, larger jewelry, they can afford eye care, and bandages are placed at a handsome angle. Not to mention that theater speakers have an extra sound channel, and Popeye is still the same lovable chain smoker.
Of course, both universes have three-toed Bluto, so neither are perfect. And our universe is no picnic either: ERNSE? I think he meant ERNSEC.
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 2
Hibbleton
December 2nd, 2025 at 6:02 amReply
Chix (sic): “Is it the entire cast of Frankenstein?” She asks desperately hoping Xunise isn’t going to start fucking the pizza.
seismic-2
December 2nd, 2025 at 7:37 amReply
Rex Morgan: “She’s not entirely you. For instance, as soon as she leaves the room, people don’t all ridicule her hairdo.”
Schroduck
December 3rd, 2025 at 6:41 amReply
Alice/Dick Tracy: When Alice asks “Does every new car need all that stuff?”, she’s referring to things like machine guns and turbochargers and vampire fangs. Alice and Dick Tracy actually take place in the same universe – you can tell because like any classic Dick Tracy character, Alice is a grotesque mutant in a weird romance with moon aliens.
Schroduck
December 3rd, 2025 at 6:51 amReply
Dick Tracy: Wait, why does Ozob have a “way bigger budget” than Silver? I don’t know how well being a classic movie-themed villain really pays, but it’s got be more lucrative than putting on cockroach-themed clown shows at county fairs.
Will
December 3rd, 2025 at 6:54 amReply
Mary Worth: Oh, this has been even better than I hoped it would be. The parrot and Ian glowering at each other, ol’ chinbeard actually harrumphing, Toby desperately trying to make peace… My favorite arc since Also Kelrast!
A Grave Mind
December 3rd, 2025 at 6:56 amReply
I enjoy Dick Tracy helpfully providing a balloon labeled “machine gun.” They need to go the full nine here, though! “Dick Tracy’s Hand!” “Cigarette!” “Thinking Cop’s Chin!” Oh, the possibilities!
A Grave Mind
December 3rd, 2025 at 7:01 amReply
Mother Goose and Grimm: The despair on that cow’s face, ye gods. “No, Grimm. I was trying to end it all, okay? Why I jumped, the Moon just happened to be there. Thank God I lived, so I could set up the crappiest joke today this side of Intelligent Life. I’m gonna take a bath. You got a toaster around here?”
ectojazzmage
December 3rd, 2025 at 7:14 amReply
Alice: I struggle to believe that cars in the Alice-verse are that expensive. I mean, they’d just be made out of vague abstract shapes like everything else in this comic.
Ukulele Ike
December 3rd, 2025 at 7:32 amReply
Judge Parker: “I wanted bring Charlotte back because Alan needs somebody to sign for booze deliveries and bring him fresh ice seven or eight times a day, but look. Just keep her, okay?”
MKay
December 3rd, 2025 at 8:17 amReply
Mother Goose and Grimm: Never attempt a punchline when you’re suffering the worst constipation of your doggy life.
GarrisonSkunk
December 3rd, 2025 at 8:30 amReply
@Schroduck: like any classic Dick Tracy character, Alice is a grotesque mutant in a weird romance with moon aliens.
____________________________________________
Picasso Puss!
Ettorre
December 3rd, 2025 at 9:19 amReply
In the Dickverse, does giving a criminal a larger budget increase proportionally their criminal effectiveness or there are diminishing returns? In this essay…
Philip
December 3rd, 2025 at 10:43 am Reply
Dick Tracy: Somewhere in the bowels of the dark web knockoff of YouTube, there is an illegal car modification influencer ready to use this as inspiration for his next murder car build.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 3rd, 2025 at 3:38 pm Reply
Dick Tracy: Are you sure the difference isn’t that clowns are better at stuffing an improbable amount of stuff into a car than horny stepsiblings?
Bob Tice
December 4th, 2025 at 4:29 am Reply
Hibbleton
December 4th, 2025 at 4:32 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I don’t care how soft-hearted my wife is, Wilbur better get his mashed potatoes out of my shower!”
Gil Bates
December 4th, 2025 at 4:41 am Reply
You’re a plugger if you delight in the disappointment of friends because it will prevent the exposure of your social awkwardness? Chicken, meet egg.
pugfuggly
December 4th, 2025 at 4:46 am Reply
Mary Worth: The only thing that calms Ian down in stressful situations like this is a standing bath in fluffernutter.
MKay
December 4th, 2025 at 4:50 am Reply
Gearhead Gertie: What I know about NASCAR: little cars drive repeatedly around a big oval. What I want to know about NASCAR: not even that. Bite me, Gertie.
Lord Flatulence
December 4th, 2025 at 5:03 am Reply
@Bob Tice: Mary Worth: Thus Spake Zarathustra. Not.
——————————————————————–
Thus spake Blovius Pompousitus, as he lathers up with whipped cream.
GarrisonSkunk
December 4th, 2025 at 5:10 am Reply
Mary Worth: Ian, I know where you can get a new parrot cage and a “cleaner” who will happily get rid of the body if you supply the mayo.
J.J. O’Malley
December 4th, 2025 at 5:28 am Reply
Mary Worth: Unused Panel Three: From behind him in the shower, Ian suddenly hears a voice cackle,”Squawk! Pass the Old Spice body wash, Chubby! Squawk!”
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
December 4th, 2025 at 5:28 am Reply
Gearhead Gertie: “Or we could visit the Mission?” “Hmm, it’s true that Monk Tate’s sole win was with a Late Model Sportsman at the Orange County Speedway in 1973, but that was in North Carolina, and I don’t remember him running over any parishioners kneeling at worship. Let’s put a pin in that one.”
Old School Allie Cat
December 4th, 2025 at 6:42 am Reply
Mary Worth: The amount of steam needed to obscure Ian’s nudity from the neckbeard down is that usually confined to old-timey trains. On the upside, he’s going to have the pores of a man half his (advanced) age.
Voshkod
December 4th, 2025 at 6:57 am Reply
Mary Worth: “We’ve switched Ian Cameron’s usual ‘Old Unspiced Professor’ body wash with ‘Extreme Sudsing Action Sandalwood and Leather’ body wash. Let’s see if he notices.”
BigTed
December 4th, 2025 at 7:55 am Reply
Mary Worth: “There’s no way I’ll agree to live with a flying, screaming menace!” — is what J. Jonah Jameson bellowed when Mary Jane Watson asked him to be part of a throuple.
Dennis Jimenez
December 4th, 2025 at 8:29 am Reply
Pluggers: OH NO! How could they possibly cancel the spring Manure Discount Days at the Tractor Supply Company…
KevinOnEarth
December 4th, 2025 at 9:33 am Reply
Mary Worth: It’s taken some time, but Ian’s floating head has finally chewed its way to the top of the bin of floating heads
Schroduck
December 5th, 2025 at 4:38 am Reply
Family Circus: Jeffy’s arrival interrupts what had been a lively and stimulating meeting of the Society Of Women Who Wear Tight Sweaters Over Their Enormous Breasts.
Charterstone: Dune
December 5th, 2025 at 5:14 am Reply
Pluggers: Pluggers are so overcome with dense with habit and routine that they practically cosmic singularities, warping the very fabric of space-time to its breaking point. Also they sleep in twin beds for some reason.
Ettorre
December 5th, 2025 at 6:23 am Reply
Family Circus: Good news, Jeffy is not colour-blind! Bad news, he’s a asshole!
Shadow COTW
——————
Peanut Gallery
December 3rd, 2025 at 12:54 pm Reply
Alice: “Point A to Point B”? I don’t think any comic strip that’s drawn like this should be emphasizing geometry.
Thanks for the mentions, Baja!
Two weeks in a row?! I’m on fire! Thanks, Josh.