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Hi everyone! Your COTW momentarily, but first, for those of you in a Los Angeles-adjacent location: what are you doing this coming Tuesday night? I’m going to be in a stand-up contest at the LA Scripted Comedy festival, so why not buy some tickets? I would advance to the finals based on audience vote, so your presence would be extremely helpful!

And with that plug and attempt to subvert democracy out of the way, here’s your comment of the week!

“I notice Dennis has signed his abstract illustration of … is that a basic optical microscope? Anyway, he’s signing things DennisXx now. I hope he realizes pretty soon that this ‘straightedge’ persona is about as un-menacing as it gets.” –Brady

And your hilarious runners up!

“No, the most satisfying end to this storyline would be if Gordon jumped into the lion pit and Hanna yelled ‘OH GOD! NO, GORDON–‘ and it immediately cut to Mary doing something else, and we never heard from these characters again.” –Jack loves comics

“Congratulations, Skyler … not on getting that Bond-girl-gone-bad role, but on being awarded an audience with Margo sometime ‘next week.’ But be vigilant! As it says in the Bible, ‘Keep watch, for you do not know the day or the hour.'” –Joe Blevins

“Mary Worth is like the Romans of yore; she makes a creative and emotional desert, and she calls it peace.” –G’Quan

“I was disturbed by the sexual overtones of ‘some homemade jam’ until I realized Lu Ann’s outfit is meant to suggest she’s two-thirds of Neapolitan ice cream. ‘You bring the chocolate, Martin!’ her outfit screams.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“The bored expression on Thel’s face is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. ‘Eh. There’s nothing kids can’t read in there. That’s my life kids, take a good look. Suitable for all ages.'” –Dan

Luann: “This is all a precursor to these crazy kids getting married at the fire hall, right? After the ceremony, Toni ‘slides down the pole’? Also, she and B-wad eventually consummate the marriage.” –Old School Allie Cat

“So, I guess Hanna left her furniture behind. If this guy is depressed now, wait until he starts living with that pistachio and chartreuse color scheme.” –lumaca morente

“The lady-cat in Heathcliff is freaking me out today. Why is she staring at me? What does that knowing smile mean? What does it have to do with that femur she’s holding? Is … is that my bone?” –Englong

“Speaking of moving boxes onto the street, I hope they fired the marketing rep who thought Mary Worth was a good product placement venue for U-Haul.” –Hart of Johnny

“Can’t Big Daddy Keane stand by the kitchen sink reading the newspaper in peace like normal people do after a successful shopping trip to Shapeless Blue Pants And Shirt-Matching-Shoes Warehouse?” –Daniel

“I never worry about tomorrow, ’cause in Australia it’s already come. Yes, it has come to Australia, it has risen from an eons-long slumber beneath the coral palaces of the Great Barrier Reef. Even now it shambles into Sydney Harbour, bringing death and madness in its wake. I can hear it shouting in alien triumph in my dreams, Father. I will join it in its grand crusade to destroy the world, Mother. Yes, I never worry about tomorrow, for there shall be no tomorrow, only unrelenting pain in the gaping maw of our new savior and destroyer! Ia! Ia! Only now can we escape this small circle we call Life!” –Voshkod

“Mary appears to be taking her move from a manual about how grade school girls can get a boy to like them: ‘Ask questions, show you’re interested in him.’ Adam will find this mimicry of human behavior flattering, until she devours him.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Mark Zuckerberg: ‘My goal with Facebook is for everyone on earth to be using Facebook, for it to be a vital part of the complete human experience, never to be absent. Also, for fictional characters to never be shown using Facebook, ever, under severe penalty of law.'” –Mibbitmaker

“Now I get it! Pluggers are beings cursed with immortality, living in a hellish existence that keeps them alive at advanced middle age, with no hope of escaping the endless pain and exhaustion.” –Ethan Shuster

“Whew! For a moment there on Wednesday it looked like this strip was going to be about practicing medicine.” –Master Softheart

“‘Not!’ Whoah, what a stinger! There’s no comeback from the dreaded burn of ‘Not!’ Ask the miserable Elf King trying to slink out of panel 1. ‘Hey, Elf King, your new green tights are sooo in style. NOT!’ He slowly removed his crown, gathered a few belongings and walked out of the forest for the first time in two hundred years. ‘Sir,’ he asked an old man ‘is there a clever retort from Not?’ The old man looked at him quizzically. ‘That’s from Wayne’s World, back in ’92. Ha! Yeah, I loved that one. No, never did come up with anything to counter Not! I just took my lumps there. Maybe the high school kids might know.’ He handed his night cap to the old man, and walked into Genericburg High, home of the Wild Mascots.” –hogenmogen

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