Metapost: It’s Friday, I’m in love (with the comments of the week)
Post Content
There’s nothing I enjoy more than reading your funny comments and selecting my favs! Speaking of which, here’s this week’s top contender:
“Those are some odd choices for fantasy heroes. Prince is an inborn trait. Pirate is a type of criminal. Cowboy is a job, same as tech support, so he should be on the Actual Hero side if you like beef and dairy products.” –Anonymous
And here are the very funny runners up!
“Love me, love my thousand dying dogs.” –Gerry Quinn
“Thrill to the slightly stiff finger drama! Gaze in awe as ‘just wearing a splint’ probably fixes it! Gasp in terror as the slim prospect of surgery still remains! Wonder briefly about the patient’s romantic life!” –Chance
“Narration box clearly doesn’t think trigger finger is a real condition.” –Dan
“No, Truck, it was as recently as Friday when June Morgan distinctly told you that if the splint and medications don’t fix it, then next they’ll try cortisone injections, and only if that fails too then they’ll resort to surgery. Is this story arc so boring that even you don’t bother to read it any more? (Yes.)” –seismic-2
“I stick by a theory I recently posited that Camp Swampy is a big psychological experiment by the Army to test the boundaries of soldiers under duress from poor leadership. Can a cook order a private to guard the food specifically against his immediate commanding officer? The results will be studied in a dark room of the Pentagon, and the findings will inform future tests.” –Philip
“Is this a feline retelling of the nativity story?” –johnny lt
“I too like to verbalize my frustrations over a breakup by sitting my pets down at the dinner table, cry-eating ice cream in front of them, and expositing to them precisely what’s going on. Although I don’t know about putting my elbows on the table. I’ve still got some dignity.” –Amelie Wikström
“So, after every meal I take these Herbalife supplements. Let me show you our exciting new product line!” –Peanut Gallery
“If you gave a printer a handjob to completion, would it ejaculate ink or paper? Today’s Beetle Bailey answers that question at least.” –Schroduck
“I’m not sure why, but I find those extra m’s on ‘yum’ really off-putting. It’s a sandwich, man, get a grip.” –pugfuggly
“Sometimes you have to appreciate how some comics are just a job that you have to churn out by a deadline when the artist has blank pages being spit out by the, sure, we’ll accept that’s a printer. A few lines on the papers to indicate something is actually being printed? That’s precious golf time!” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Dagwood read the Book of Exodus and decided that putting pepperoni above his front door was a way to tell the angel of death ‘Please take my first born, but leave my pizza alone!’” –Ettorre
“Blondie shamelessly caters to its readers’ fantasies: having kids who are impressed by their parents’ bullshit.” –matt w
“Truck Tyler Featuring Mud Mountain on Guitar With Special Opening Act Shorty and Beanpole. There will be no refunds.” –Liam
“I was stressed about wedding planning … now I’m stressed that you brought over a dozen muffins just for the two of us.” –Hibbleton
“George and Martha Wilson are a 99-year-old male and 95-year-old female being admitted to hospice services jointly with a terminal diagnosis of E.905.1 Lack of Style. They currently reside at 2253 Pine Street, next to Alice and Henry Mitchell and the Mitchell’s five-year-old son Dennis, who serves as the Wilson’s Power of Attorney.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“‘Ed ghosted me, Mary. I guess he just doesn’t have the rizz. Skibidi … Sigma?’ ‘Oh, Stella. I vibe you, gurl.’ Somewhere, you hear the souls of millions of Gen Z cry out in agony and then are silenced. Their youth is behind them. Their future is newspaper comics.” –OId Man Shadow
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32 replies to “Metapost: It’s Friday, I’m in love (with the comments of the week)”
Thanks, Josh.
Springboard Shadow CsOTW
Hibbleton
September 30th, 2024 at 6:00 am Reply
@Dan: Rex Morgan: Narration box clearly doesn’t think trigger finger is a real condition.
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Yes. It’s pretty bad when your own narration box uses air quotes.
Scratchy Scrotum LXIX
October 1st, 2024 at 7:52 am Reply
@Flipper: Mary Worth: Stell’s emergency vet visit after feeding chocolate ice cream to Libby and Pierre promises to be awkward.
——————————————————
I’d love it if she got there and Ed said, “Sorry, can’t save your pets. I have a hot date.”
richardf8
October 4th, 2024 at 5:28 am Reply
@Lauralot: Judge Parker: Is there any character in this strip who doesn’t turn into a shrieking marmoset at the drop of a hat?
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Yes, the ones who turn into screech owls and howler monkeys.
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Special Extra Long-form Shadow CsOTW
Voshkod
September 30th, 2024 at 7:23 amReply
As much as I admire Kubrick’s work, the first half of Full Metal Refrigerator, which focuses on the destructive nature of military indoctrination and the horrors of mess hall food services, is much stronger than the second half, in which the boys of Camp Swampy get fed into the meat grinder of Hue. It’s hard to forget the moment that Sarge enters the kitchen, sees Beetle with a rifle, and bellows “Why is Private Bailey out of his bunk after lights-out?! Why is Private Bailey holding that weapon?! Why isn’t you Private Bailey cooking me a midnight snack?!”
BigTed
September 30th, 2024 at 7:47 amReply
Beetle Bailey: I don’t know how many people there are at Camp Swampy, but I imagine that for Cookie to feed all of them he’d need the kind of big walk-in refrigerator you’d see at a restaurant. Which, of course, would be completely disorganized and full of improperly packaged, nearly expired vegetables and meats, the kind Gordon Ramsey would uncover on an episode of “Kitchen Nightmares” just before screaming at the proprietors. Cookie’s pantry, of course, would be loaded with his secret weapons — industrial-size packages of chili spices and 10-gallon cans of beans, which he uses to hide the flavor of everything.
Voshkod
October 1st, 2024 at 6:40 amReply
Mary Worth: Normally she had to bake the muffins before the state took hold. But this time, merely mixing the ingredients brought on the fugue, known by prophets and oracles from Delphi to the highest mountains, the fog that descended and lifted and exposed the world and the future and all that could be. Mary opened herself to glory, and mumbled the words ‘I wonder how Stell’s doing with her wedding planning?’ The world spun, righted, and presented today again. ‘I hear you, o lord of muffins and meddling,’ Mary intoned with respect. ‘I know what must be done.’
Myrtle
October 2nd, 2024 at 8:19 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “So, who then?” ~~~~~
Wanda attempted to maintain her composure as she felt her heartbeat quicken, tried to breath normally as she waited for Truck’s answer. She’d been thinking a lot about Fergus lately, ever since Truck had that childish temper tantrum over his damned “trigger finger.” LIke it was the end of his “career” Haha.
Fergus wouldn’t have reacted like that – he would have acted like a MAN and done something about it pronto. Not go sit and whine on a park bench, for God’s sake. And now Truck’s gonna ask him to play guitar while he “sings” at those pity-gigs Buck has set up for him… Tuesday night at the VFW hall, and after the mid-month potluck at the Lutheran Church. Fergus will probably be too busy for such small-time jobs. But maybe… he seems to genuinely want to befriend Truck..,, and maybe… does that have anything to do with me?
Wanda remembered when he and Truck were working together on a song at the diner – how his firm, flexible fingers lovingly caressed the strings, making his guitar sing with joy and passion as he gave her that glance, and then built to a frenzied crescendo as the sound made the whole building seem to….
~~~~ “You ok, Wanda? You look a little flushed. Are you havin’ one of them hot flash things?”
Finder of Lost Gloves
October 3rd, 2024 at 12:48 pm Reply
STELL: No thanks, Mary. I bought muffins at Blondie’s this morning, and — SOB — and I’ve come to realize that men and your baking skills — SOB — are both unreliable, disgusting, and have ruined my life! — SOB –. I don’t know how life could get any worse!!
***Ding dong***
WILBUR: Happy Pizza Month! I brought Montoni’s!
Daily Shadow CsOTW
Saturday
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Cleveland Mocks
September 28th, 2024 at 11:36 am Reply
Pluggers: If you’re diagnosed with obesity, cirrhosis of the liver, widespread tooth decay, emphysema, and incontinence and you live in western Pennsylvania, you’re not necessarily a Plugger, but you’re most certainly a Steelers fan.
Liam
September 28th, 2024 at 1:10 pm Reply
Gil Thorp: “What? I don’t understand.” Don’t worry, Gil, none of us understand what goes in ‘Gil Thorp’.
Sunday
———-
Hibbleton
September 29th, 2024 at 4:33 am Reply
Family Circus: “Uh, you see, kids. In the olden days, people used to marry animals and they had weird looking children.”
Later on, he walks in the room and sees the dog humping Dolly. “Daddy! Me and Barfy are getting married!”
Maltmash3r
September 29th, 2024 at 4:53 am Reply
Mary Worth: Poor form on Estelle’s part. Confronting Ed before loading up on sympathy muffins is just not done in Santa Royale. Hope she can find a new place to stay.
Monday
———–
Little Blue Bicycle
September 30th, 2024 at 6:31 amReply
Mary Worth: “At least Wilbur never prioritized his job! He never really had one! Sob!”
Dan
October 1st, 2024 at 7:13 am Reply
Mary Worth: Wilbur kills one pet due to incompetence and has a near mental break about it, whereas Dr. Ed kills pets every day due to competence and is emotionally dead inside! Point to Wilbur!
Tuesday
———–
btown
October 1st, 2024 at 4:50 am Reply
Mary Worth: Is Mary Worth baking a tray of skulls?
Boomer
October 1st, 2024 at 6:51 amReply
Mary Worth: “My meddling sense is tingling — either Stella broke up with her vet, or Wilbur’s other fish died.”
Wednesday
—————
Chance
October 2nd, 2024 at 4:32 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: I keep pressing the “humor” button but nothing happens!
Charterstoned
October 2nd, 2024 at 9:11 am Reply
Mary Worth: Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t help wondering if Mary ever washed her hands before she put them all over those muffins.
Thursday
————
Ettorre
October 3rd, 2024 at 4:30 am Reply
Blondie: Dagwood read the Book of Exodus and decided that putting pepperoni above his front door was a way to tell the angel of death “Please take my first born, but leave my pizza alone!”
Peanut Gallery
October 3rd, 2024 at 6:18 am Reply
Blondie: The real problem with Dagwood’s thought-balloon pepperoni over the door is that it looks too much like his large intestine.
Friday
——–
taig
October 4th, 2024 at 5:42 am Reply
Zits: It’s all fun and games until someone gets pulled through the drain of a kitchen sink.
Uncle Lumpy
October 4th, 2024 at 6:51 am Reply
Mary Worth: He *yeeted* me, Mary! Yeeted me to the curb!
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Shadow COTW
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Hibbleton
October 1st, 2024 at 5:05 am Reply
Marvin: A dark message today, ‘No amount of soap can clean the product of Jenny’s befouled womb,’ but it’s something we’ve all suspected.
Congratulations on the Comment of the Week, Anonymous!
Congrats on the SCotW, Hibbleton!
Thanks for the mention, Baja.
Thanks, Baja.
Another delicious Meatpost. Too bad we were shut out again from the awards – maybe in the future we’ll need to remember to post something.
@The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers:
Not even a “Participant” trophy? So unfair!
Way to go, Amonymous, and the Floaters and Shadowers (thanks, Baja) and the Scroters:
TheDiva
September 28th, 2024 at 6:41 am Reply
Luann: Oh please, you are NOT going to try and sell Nancy deGroot as a MILF, or a MAnybodyLF.
C’shaft: “Um, Ed, you know those books are for the students….”
“Who gives a crap about them?” *walks off with the book without paying for it*
Cleveland Mocks
September 28th, 2024 at 5:36 am Reply
CS: Ed Crankshaft, Paragon of Courage, Defender of Intellectual Honesty, and Staunch Patron of All That Is Noble and Good. If this were England, he’d be up for a Knighthood. But as it is, he’ll get bored with the book in five minutes and give it to Pam for her next birthday.
MW: Hey, Sid, Libby and Pierre are two class acts! Yesterday Pierre let Libby speak her line first, and now today she returned the courtesy and let Pierre speak his line first. That shows an inspiring degree of mutual respect between two artists who each could easily command the entire spotlight if either wished to. My compliments!
Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!
September 28th, 2024 at 7:31 am Reply
@Cleveland Mocks: re MW: On behalf of Libby and Pierre, thank you for your generous compliments! Yes, we are seeing a tour de force of Animal Acting here, an evocative, sympatico performance! That simple “Woof” and “Meow” can say SO MUCH in the paws of skilled thespians like these! The unembellished delivery allows the audience to make their own interpretation… as many of you are doing. And that is how is should be! Art must exist in the minds of its
victimsconsumers… or somethin’ like that.Lord Flatulence
September 28th, 2024 at 7:20 am Reply
Mary Worth:
SOB!
WOOF!
MEOW!
Activist
September 28th, 2024 at 7:52 am Reply
MW:. Ed, “All right, dear, we’ll call the whole thing off. Just don’t quit your full-time unpaid job as my receptionist.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Liam
September 28th, 2024 at 6:21 am Reply
Gil Thorp-“Coach Thorp’s plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors.”
Tabby Lavalamp
September 28th, 2024 at 8:07 am Reply
It’s too bad Rod Whigham is retiring because that last panel makes it clear that his true calling is drawing Gil Thorp adult colouring books.
Hibbleton
September 28th, 2024 at 5:30 am Reply
DtM: Dennis does his after dinner standup routine for the Mitchell’s guests. Like many young comedians, he copies more established comics. Although some people think his take on Carlin’s Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television is a bit much for a six-year old, Wilson loves it. “You’re killing it, kid! You demolished the room!”
The Butt ReportSequiturSeptember 28th, 2024 at 8:46 am Reply
Beetle Bailey Spanish to English.
‘So, ya wanna fuck?”
“No…
“You let your hat do all the work.”
Way to go, Amonymous, and the Floaters and Shadowers (thanks, Baja) and the Scroters:
TheDiva
September 28th, 2024 at 6:41 am Reply
Luann: Oh please, you are NOT going to try and sell Nancy deGroot as a MILF, or a MAnybodyLF.
C’shaft: “Um, Ed, you know those books are for the students….”
“Who gives a crap about them?” *walks off with the book without paying for it*
Cleveland Mocks
September 28th, 2024 at 5:36 am Reply
CS: Ed Crankshaft, Paragon of Courage, Defender of Intellectual Honesty, and Staunch Patron of All That Is Noble and Good. If this were England, he’d be up for a Knighthood. But as it is, he’ll get bored with the book in five minutes and give it to Pam for her next birthday.
MW: Hey, Sid, Libby and Pierre are two class acts! Yesterday Pierre let Libby speak her line first, and now today she returned the courtesy and let Pierre speak his line first. That shows an inspiring degree of mutual respect between two artists who each could easily command the entire spotlight if either wished to. My compliments!
Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!
September 28th, 2024 at 7:31 am Reply
@Cleveland Mocks: re MW: On behalf of Libby and Pierre, thank you for your generous compliments! Yes, we are seeing a tour de force of Animal Acting here, an evocative, sympatico performance! That simple “Woof” and “Meow” can say SO MUCH in the paws of skilled thespians like these! The unembellished delivery allows the audience to make their own interpretation… as many of you are doing. And that is how is should be! Art must exist in the minds of its
victimsconsumers… or somethin’ like that.Lord Flatulence
September 28th, 2024 at 7:20 am Reply
Mary Worth:
SOB!
WOOF!
MEOW!
Activist
September 28th, 2024 at 7:52 am Reply
MW:. Ed, “All right, dear, we’ll call the whole thing off. Just don’t quit your full-time unpaid job as my receptionist.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Liam
September 28th, 2024 at 6:21 am Reply
Gil Thorp-“Coach Thorp’s plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors.”
Tabby Lavalamp
September 28th, 2024 at 8:07 am Reply
It’s too bad Rod Whigham is retiring because that last panel makes it clear that his true calling is drawing Gil Thorp adult colouring books.
Hibbleton
September 28th, 2024 at 5:30 am Reply
DtM: Dennis does his after dinner standup routine for the Mitchell’s guests. Like many young comedians, he copies more established comics. Although some people think his take on Carlin’s Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television is a bit much for a six-year old, Wilson loves it. “You’re killing it, kid! You demolished the room!”
The Butt ReportSequiturSeptember 28th, 2024 at 8:46 am Reply
Beetle Bailey Spanish to English.
‘So, ya wanna fuck?”
“No…
“You let your hat do all the work.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Guillermo el chiclero
September 28th, 2024 at 9:13 am Reply
FC: Please let that be HTT Grandma they’re going to visit, barely clinging to life in the ICU.
Schroduck
September 29th, 2024 at 4:39 am Reply
Marvin: “Hi, it’s the syndicate here. We noticed your comic for September 29th is only three panels. You remember that’s a Sunday, right?”
“Oh, uh, let me just, uh” [hastily hits ctrl-C, ctrl-V on a drawing of Bitsy]
BigTed
September 29th, 2024 at 4:54 am Reply
Marvin: Forget the rest of this strip, is a comic character really allowed to say “Good grief!” without an army of Peanuts lawyers raining hellfire down on them? (And then there’s the fact that the other dog looks like someone asked AI to combine Snoopy with Mickey Mouse, but now that Steamboat Willie is out of copyright I guess that’s pretty much fair game.)
pugfuggly
September 29th, 2024 at 4:49 am Reply
6Cx: It’s been a while since we’ve had the Xerox guy by the office, but do they typically show up to jobs with old-timey Gladstone bags filled with double-pronged forks? Far be it from me to question the work of heroes…
Liam
September 29th, 2024 at 5:55 am Reply
Six Chix-“Hello IT. Have you tried turning it off and back on again?”
Hibbleton
September 29th, 2024 at 5:03 am Reply
Chix (sic): Events leading up to today’s strip: Bannerman’s coworker exclaims; “My god, Isabelle. You fucked the IT guy!?”
Pozzo
September 29th, 2024 at 5:13 am Reply
No butt crack on the plumber? I call shenanigans!
nescio
September 29th, 2024 at 6:17 am Reply
6C: I can see how vital the use of a copier and computer could be for a comic strip artist. But now I’m wondering what hell she unleashes on her plumbing.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Weaselboy
September 29th, 2024 at 5:51 am Reply
MW – I can’t wait to see tomorrow’s strip. Will Ed charge the mound or simply take first base?
Arabella
September 29th, 2024 at 6:09 am Reply
MW: Once again, a veterinarian’s office provides the best entertainment in Santa Royale. This is where people take their pets to hear all the dirt about their providers’ personal lives, and if you’re lucky, see a contentious romantic breakup in real time! And where did that receptionist come from? Did Ed have to hire someone while Estelle spends her days cake-tasting?
Peanut Gallery
September 29th, 2024 at 6:06 am Reply
MW – Fortunately, Ed has apparently acquired another receptionist within the past week. He can marry her instead and then she’ll work for free just like Estelle used to! It’s like killing two birds with one lethal injection.
Dennis Jimenez
September 29th, 2024 at 6:06 am Reply
MW – A Wilbur in the Lazyboy is worth two Eds in the small animal crematorium.
Anonymous
Bob Tice
September 29th, 2024 at 4:38 am Reply
MW:
If I were Estelle, I would have thrown it in his eye. That way his face would have ended up looking like Libby’s.
Gerry Quinn
September 29th, 2024 at 4:47 am Reply
“Love me, love my thousand dying dogs”
Hibbleton
September 29th, 2024 at 4:54 am Reply
MW: Ed is relieved when it turns out Stell’s temper tantrum is caused by an undiagnosed case of rabies she caught from one of his patients.
taig
September 29th, 2024 at 5:30 am Reply
FC: Evidently, when Bil agreed to answer their questions, the melonheads put down the books of mythological creatures, pulled out the Sex Ed book, and asked him a lot of uncomfortable questions about the vulva.
Hibbleton
September 29th, 2024 at 4:33 am Reply
FC: “Uh, you see, kids. In the olden days, people used to marry animals and they had weird looking children.”
Later on, he walks in the room and sees the dog humping Dolly. “Daddy! Me and Barfy are getting married!”
MKay
September 30th, 2024 at 4:31 am Reply
RMMD: “You just sit over there and brood over your finger splint, while I singlehandedly run this diner and support us. Darling.”
Ettorre
September 30th, 2024 at 4:37 am Reply
Wanda is very worried about this finger injury because she owes so much to Truck’s nimble fingers… just kidding, he’s a very selfish lover!
pugfuggly
September 30th, 2024 at 4:37 am Reply
RMMD Gotta hand it to the strip: nobody else can portray the tedium of inane chit-chat to such a degree of realism. It’s like I’m right there in the room, getting bored for real.
Dan
September 30th, 2024 at 4:43 am Reply
Narration box clearly doesn’t think trigger finger is a real condition.
taig
September 30th, 2024 at 5:03 am Reply
RMMD: That’s some smooth passive-aggression there.
jvwalt
September 30th, 2024 at 5:05 am Reply
RMMD: Just look at that waitress behind the counter. Either she can’t wait to leave this hick town where the height of excitement is a minor finger injury, or the meth’s wearing off.
seismic-2
September 30th, 2024 at 6:05 am Reply
RMMD: No, Truck, it was as recently as Friday when June Morgan distinctly told you that if the splint and medications don’t fix it, then next they’ll try cortisone injections, and only if that fails too then they’ll resort to surgery. Is this story arc so boring that even you don’t bother to read it any more? (Yes.)
Just John
September 30th, 2024 at 8:27 am Reply
RMMD: “I’ll cross my fingers.” Rex Morgan, MD: Come for the medical drama, stay for the witty wordplay.
Peanut Gallery
September 30th, 2024 at 7:45 am Reply
RMMD – “I’ll cross MY fingers it improves. Ow! Oh shit, I think I sprained something! What’s the name of that doctor you went to? I want to be sure to pick someone else.”
Old School Allie Cat
September 30th, 2024 at 6:03 am Reply
RMMD – There’s a type of wrist splint used, I believe, primarily in occupational health, for folks with repetitive motion injury. It’s called a Cockup Splint. That I managed to use that example in training classes for a decade without giggling is a testament to my desire to say “cock” in class with relative impunity.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
jroggs
September 30th, 2024 at 5:22 am Reply
MW: After a full week of living inside Estelle’s empty head as she thought the same single moronic thought over and over, we get exactly one day of her talking to Ed and then it’s right back inside the idiot skull for more anti-contemplative reiterations. Writing.
Cleveland Mocks
September 30th, 2024 at 5:51 am Reply
GT: That TV reporter looks like she just got a good whiff of a Porta Potty or something.
JP: Ha ha, Neddy looked up the mother of a completely different Declan.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
TheDiva
September 30th, 2024 at 7:23 am Reply
C’shaft: I’m baffled by the graffiti artist, who apparently has been toting around a gallon of Sherman-Williams long-lasting semi-gloss and a brush so he can carefully paint a “no” symbol on Lillian’s store sign. Was he having a hard time finding someone at Lowe’s to unlock the spray paint cabinet for him? Many comic strips are stupid, but few have such bone-deep stupidity even in its smallest details like this one does.
Luann: Yes, and if there’s one thing we know about men it’s that they always take a woman’s professed lack of interest in them at face value and never, never attempt to force the issue in any way shape or form.
BigTed
September 30th, 2024 at 7:47 am Reply
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if you make yourself bacon, eggs and coffee every morning before heading to the diner.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Rube
September 30th, 2024 at 7:55 am Reply
Dustin I guess it’s good to have confirmation that this strip hasn’t gone downhill over the years. It’s always been horrible.
Guillermo el chiclero
September 30th, 2024 at 7:44 am Reply
Dustin: Helen’s low hangers were practically hitting the floor in this older artwork.
Waxing GibbousSequiturSeptember 30th, 2024 at 9:13 am Reply
Dennis the Menace Spanish to English.
“How do ya expect me to grow up to be an asshole, like you, if you won’t let me toot?”
TheDiva
October 1st, 2024 at 7:19 am Reply
JP: “Aiden, come here! Your brother’s been sticking his dick in the crazy again!”
Poteet
October 1st, 2024 at 10:48 am Reply
JP: And will Ronnie finally learn that hanging around with her own egomaniac-actress wife is better than traveling around with dippy-delusional Neddy? Doubtful.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
btown
October 1st, 2024 at 4:50 am Reply
Is Mary Worth baking a tray of skulls?
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
October 1st, 2024 at 5:10 am Reply
The message of Mary Worth is the same yesterday, today and forever: Put down your Häagen-Dazs, ladies, meddlin’ muffins are far superior when you’re on the rebound! Also, some man, any man, is better than none. We said, Put down the Häagen-Dazs!
astroboy
October 1st, 2024 at 5:17 am Reply
MW – Is “Stell” now going to end every sentence by saying “SOB” out loud, like, forever? Just shut up and eat your Chocolate Apathy.
Boomer
October 1st, 2024 at 6:51 am Reply
“My meddling sense is tingling — either Stella broke up with her vet, or Wilbur’s other fish died.”
Dan
October 1st, 2024 at 7:13 am Reply
MW: Wilbur kills one pet due to incompetence and has a near mental break about it, whereas Dr. Ed kills pets every day due to competence and is emotionally dead inside! Point to Wilbur!
InProfessor Well Actually
October 1st, 2024 at 7:38 am Reply
MW: it seems Estelle doesn’t so much want to be married as she wants a wedding–a big,, extravagant, unnecessary wedding. Oh crap, I sound like Mary.
Flipper
October 1st, 2024 at 7:36 am Reply
MW: Stell’s emergency vet visit after feeding chocolate ice cream to Libby and Pierre promises to be awkward.
GT: Syndicate to artist: “You need more ink already?! That was supposed to last a month!”
MKay
October 1st, 2024 at 5:10 am Reply
GT: If Gil doesn’t make it, don’t let Keri speak at the wake.
Peanut Gallery
October 1st, 2024 at 6:55 am Reply
GT – “So, after every meal I take these Herbalife supplements. Let me show you our exciting new product line!”
Ken
October 1st, 2024 at 6:58 am Reply
GT: And so begins the “(barney google and) SNUFFY SMITH” transition which, in thirty years, will have people laughing uproariously at the antics of Marty Moon and wondering vaguely why the strip is named “Gil Thorp”.
Liam
October 1st, 2024 at 9:19 am Reply
Luann-Stifler’s Mom
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
I speak Jive
October 1st, 2024 at 8:58 am Reply
FC – And it’s really funny when three of the other kids go into anaphylactic shock.
Crankshaft – Lillian angrily leans out the window. “Listen, you assholes! I ruined my sister’s life, and I can ruin yours!”
pugfuggly
October 2nd, 2024 at 4:41 am Reply
BB I really like Beetle Bailey‘s conception of a copy machine,which seems to be a couple of stacked cardboard boxes with a gaping hole in one side. Presumably Gizmo is sitting inside the larger one, frantically writing out copies by hand with a pen light in his mouth.
Hibbleton
October 2nd, 2024 at 4:59 am Reply
B. Bailey: Having no need for a cord or power outlet sounds good on paper but the six lead-acid car batteries in the base negates the whole idea of portable printer.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
The Quiet Man
October 2nd, 2024 at 5:55 am Reply
Luann: ‘Bosslady’? ‘BOSSLADY’??? For crying out loud, Karen Evans, just put Dez in a kerchief and have her start singing ‘Shortnin’ Bread’ already! Do you also imagine Bets sounding like Butterfly McQueen when she talks?
MKay
October 3rd, 2024 at 4:40 am Reply
MW: Mary makes a hasty call to Wilbur: “Quick, take a shower and go grab a sack of ribs. You’re up.”
Kevin on Earth
October 3rd, 2024 at 4:53 am Reply
MW: Mary: “I’ve made apple muffins…would you like to come over and tell me about it? You can bring Pierre and Libby if you want!”
Stella: *sigh* “Apple…?”
Daisy
October 3rd, 2024 at 7:02 am Reply
MW: Oooo…can we come too, Mary, and listen in as you console/”counsel”/nag Estelle into (a) reconciling with Dr Ed or (b) running back to Wilbur? Is there room in your apartment for all us Mudges? I know there are plenty of muffins for all of us…
If not, maybe Sid can sneak in a fly with a tiny transmitter to sit on the wall and let us listen in to the melodramatics! SOB!!
P.S. If Estelle *is* nagged into going back to Wilbur, she’ll have to rehome her pets. I bet Dr Ed and Odin would love to take them in.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Cleveland Mocks
October 3rd, 2024 at 6:08 am Reply
CS: The mob is putty in Lillian’s hands. She forthrightly but succinctly and gently shows the protestors that what they’re doing is un-American.
Stunned by this realization, they silently drop their heads in shame. Then one of them says, “You know, that Les Moore is really a hero.”
This is greeted with a rousing cheer, and the group marches to Les’ house to carry him on their shoulders in an impromptu parade.
Les beams with joy. After a trip around the block, his fans return him to his front porch and ask him to speak.
One minute into Les’ self-congratulatory speech, the onlookers grow restless. “Christ, what an asshole,” shouts one of them. “What the hell were we thinking?” bellows another. Just then, a Molotov cocktail crashes through the front window. The rest is history.
RMMD: When Truck asks Mud to be his sideman, Mud says, “Why? What the hell do I need YOU for?”
Kevin on Earth
October 4th, 2024 at 4:45 am Reply
GT: This is Marty’s favorite sport to cover because it’s closest to Chez Marty AKA: the equipment shed by the track
MKay
October 4th, 2024 at 4:42 am Reply
GT: I’m only medium-good at drawing, but I would have figured out how to give Keri two complete legs.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
richardf8
October 4th, 2024 at 4:56 am Reply
RMMD – Murphy doesn’t rate a place in my contacts list, he rates a place on a folded up post-it next to the condom I’ve been carrying around since high school.
MW – Point to ponder: Does Moy not know what ghosting means, or is she merely writing Estelle as someone who doesn’t know what ghosting means?
jroggs
October 4th, 2024 at 4:53 am Reply
MW: Ah yes, ghosting, that notorious behavior of keeping your partner fully apprised of your current situation, even during life-or-death emergencies. Estelle also claims she’s been stressed about the wedding planning, but that’s similarly false; she was just mildly irritated that she was doing couple activities by herself and it wasn’t as much fun. She’s always been really stupid, but when did Estelle become such a liar?
Weaselboy
October 4th, 2024 at 4:51 am Reply
MW – Pierre caught the “ghost” thing too, eyeing Stell with utter contempt. “That is so embarrassing. I can’t live with a woman who doesn’t know relationship slang. I think I’ll ghost her the next time we go for a walk…wait, that’s wrong, too. Damn!”
Mister Miggle
October 4th, 2024 at 5:11 am Reply
CS: Saying that a book banning storyline is going to end with someone reading to a crowd from a book is like predicting that the sun’s going to come up, but I needed an easy win this morning. It’d be just my luck if Lillian picked a different section to read from, though.
From Yesterday:
Mister Miggle
October 3rd, 2024 at 8:26 am Reply
CS: There are so many tropes to Very Special Episodes I was on the lookout for. To my eternal shame, the main character walking up to the angry mob and bluntly explaining the theme of the story they’re all stuck in like they’re a bunch of five year-olds wasn’t one of them. But mark my words, she’s going to read to them. And I already know the part of the book she’s going to read.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Old School Allie Cat
September 28th, 2024 at 11:13 am Reply
GT – I feel like they’re killing off Beth. I’m not opposed to it. Gil needs to be playing the field.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. I speak Jive
September 29th, 2024 at 7:41 am Reply
Mary Worth – One of the people in the waiting room filmed this scene on her phone. By this afternoon it’ll go viral on Facebook and YouTube.
Not as viral as Queen Bee and the picture frame, but close.
FC – Daddy has to talk to Child Welfare after he shows the melonheads the Oglaf comic to explain the centaur.
This is the third centaur in the comics in the past week. Curse you, Oglaf!
58. Gate keeper
September 30th, 2024 at 6:47 am Reply
My only hope to attend the parade is the 69 award
[Scrote Note: Come back in 11 spots.]
69. taig
September 30th, 2024 at 7:10 am Reply
Sex bait
[Damn. Gate keeper missed it.]
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!
October 3rd, 2024 at 7:33 am Reply
Zits: Folks, I’ve been gettin’ a lotta calls – asking where did I find that newest talent in Zits, playing the whimsy role. Well, I gotta admit – they never called me for this character, and I don’t have any idea where he(she?) came from, or even *what* it is! But, to be honest, I’m liking what I see here!
I think this… actor.. really knows how to connect with the audience. Just the right degree of insouciance that totally fits the general theme of the comic! It’s a natural fit! We’re considering whether to try to sign up this New, uh, Face to our client base when their Zits gig ends. I hear they don’t plan to put ’em on contract. But of course you have to consider future marketability of such an …. extraordinary talent. I tell ya, this business is more than just glitz and glamour… a lotta hard choices to be made…
Thanks for the mentions, Scratchy!
Gate keeper also got featured, so yay for them!
Thanks to our host, Scratchy, and Baja. I had a good number of re-read chuckles.
Thanks, Scratchy!
Congrats to Anonymous (whoever you are) for the COTW!
It was worth it to hang around and wait for the Scrotes to fall so thank you
FlappyPartsScratchy for the mentions!Congrats to Anonymous and the floaters and thanks, Scratchy!
Congrats to the Anonymous the runners up!
Also congrats to the shadow-cotw
You’re all awesome!
Thanks, Scratchy.
Congrats to –Anon for this week’s honors, and to all of our honoristas. And thanks to Scratchy and Baja for the pub.
Thanks Josh, Baja and Scratchy!