Metapost: Commentin’, commentin’, let’s keep commentin’
Post Content
It’s Friday and let’s get right into it … and by “it” I mean the comment of the week!
“OK but BARNEY in that first panel. The eldritch horror of Barney. Contorted Barney. Barney. is. contorted. The eyes in his head pop and flash! Be he owl or be he man? Be he bedeviled, or bedeviler be he?” –it is an ancient mariner
And your runners up! Very funny!
“A lot of birds eat spiders — so wouldn’t a giant spider be, like, a gourmet feast to these folks? The only thing to be scared of is too many leftovers!” –BigTed
“So it looks like Phantom costumes alter, according to the era of their tenure. Can’t wait to see the one with bell bottoms and platform shoes.” –Pozzo
“‘But that all sounds so stupid now.’ Hey, that’s all right. It sounded stupid the first time, too.” –Peanut Gallery
“Slylock will investigate this, but he holds the shoe store manager as much in contempt as Smitty. Shoes are a relic of the human regime, true sons of the animal revolution go barefoot, like him!” –Ettorre
“It’s true, a hilarious premise like ‘eating a can of dog food by accident’ is simply too radical for newspaper comics. Luckily, Curtis has a found a loophole: you can still describe a funnier comic in their boring comic without actually showing it, thus circumventing the rules of powerful newsprint publishers. Kind of like how you can publish any copyrighted video on YouTube as long as there’s a little square on the bottom right of you ‘reacting’ to it. Comedy is safe again (but for how long?)!” –pugfuggly
“It was nice of the undercover officer to go to all the trouble and cost of creating an enlarged photo so the readers could see the evidence against Smitty. If Smitty put that much trouble into remembering which arm he had his fake cast on, he’d get away with more crimes.” –TheDiva
“In my headcanon, those terrifying children are wizened elves from the Feywild masquerading as kids. Their ‘doll’ and ‘AI’ are still more spirits who’ve come to plague Gertie. Seriously, look at, um, the kid on the left’s eyes. They’re like a doll’s eyes and she’s literally carrying a doll to help illustrate that fact! Wait, do these kids have names? Have they stolen those memories, too? Will they leave me with nothing?!” –Victor Von
“Those AI devices look way more human than those alleged children. At least they look like something a human would build or draw.” –Banana Jr. 6000
“Guys! Where are you going? The stadium is over there! Why are they running towards the practice field? Are they going to the parking lot?” –UncleJeff
“Gotta feel a little bad for those horse thieves. It must be rough trying to find burlap sacks big enough to carry your stolen horses.” –jroggs
“Slouched posture placing the thorax’s center of gravity behind its support, dramatically lengthened forelimbs, shortened knee-to-ankle span, the ever-present antennae? Dagwood should be less concerned with what Honey’s reading than with his advancing case of insectoidism.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“Joey’s doing the bug-eyed, tongue-out, steam-from-the-ears thing that cartoon characters used to when they saw a beautiful woman, so I’m assuming this is a classic Dennis malapropism, and he thinks ‘tamale’ is pronounced like ‘female.’” –Schroduck
“Watching these kids hold a food designed to be eaten on a plate with their bare hands and watching Joey burn his tongue implying that the food just came from the steamer basket makes me think that Margaret isn’t really smart as that; she’s just a girl of normal intelligence surrounded by idiots.” –OId Man Shadow
“Imagine being comforted by Dick Tracy, with his hand gently clutching your shoulder. And all the while he’s got his eyes squinched shut, like he can’t bear to look at you. The awkwardness of this situation would probably make me forget what I was initially upset about. ‘So, like, anyway … do you have a Kleenex, because my face is really sweaty. Sorry if it’s grossing you out.’” –made of wince
“Part of Jimmy’s ‘going above and beyond’ included [squints] guarding a fireworks display? ‘Why, I will certainly ensure that only licensed, certified pyrotechnicians are employed by this company! And that all observers maintain the minimum required distance! And I will do so in a cop car straight out of 1974, for some reason.’” –astroboy
“I can personally relate to, and feel sympathy for, someone like Lou who tries to cover his bald scalp with a comb-over. I do have trouble, however, in sympathizing with Lou’s attitude of ‘Oh, what the heck. Three-quarters of the way across is good enough.’ Buy a toupee, Lou.” –seismic-2
Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!
18 replies to “Metapost: Commentin’, commentin’, let’s keep commentin’”
Congratulations on the Comment of the Week, ancient mariner!
Springboard Shadow CsOTW
GarrisonSkunk
October 5th, 2024 at 5:25 pm Reply
@Liam: Phantom-“I threw a rock at it.”
——————————————————
— Ghost who was Charlie Brown for Halloween.
Activist
October 6th, 2024 at 6:13 am Reply
@Liam: Mary Worth: Mary loads up her muffins with a lot of thc.
——————————————————
Meddlin’ Mary’s muffins aren’t working automatically for good reason. Apple– in OCTOBER? Has she never heard of Pumpkin Pie Spice regulations?
——————————————————
Arabella: Mary was “Apple Mary” before Pumpkin Pie Spice was invented.
Scratchy Scrotum LXIX
October 6th, 2024 at 8:15 am Reply
@Ukulele Ike: Crankshaft: Batuik puts his pen down with a satisfied air. “The Pulitzer is as good as mine.”
——————————————————
He could cinch it by having an audience member yell, “Shut the fuck up, you loathsome hag.”
GarrisonSkunk
October 6th, 2024 at 1:26 pm Reply
@BigTed: Mary Worth: “What’s in these muffins, Mary? They’re so good!”
——————————————————
Try New Campbell’s™Cream of Mary’s Muffin Soup Now! With Curly Anchovy strips!
It’s M-M- Meddlesome Good!
.
.
.
Special Long-form Shadow CsOTW
Inspector Gotcha
October 5th, 2024 at 1:49 pm Reply
Mary Worth: “You don’t understand, Mar . . .”
“ExCUSE me???!!!”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that, Mary. I swear I didn’t.”
“Don’t let it happen again, do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, ma’am. Anyway, he told me the animals are his priority. And then he actually went out and made the animals his priority! That truth-telling bastard!”
Ukranazi Stepan
October 8th, 2024 at 4:50 am Reply
Zits: “The cat licked himself enthusiastically, starting from his paw and moving on to his nether regions, his tongue, evolved to lick off meat from his prey, as sharp as the old spinster Ms Carlyle, who was widely feared for her acid temper, and who was one day unsurprisingly discovered murdered, with not a clue as to the perpetrator, since the entire population of the town over the age of three could be considered a suspect; except, of course, for Hercule Poirot, who happened to be visiting, but nobody asked Hercule Poirot, because they thought he couldn’t understand colloquial spoken English, and because he had such a huge moustache that he couldn’t have seen anything past it anyway..”
Voshkod
October 11th, 2024 at 6:33 am Reply
Dick Tracy: I’ve got doors that jingle jingle jingle
As I run right in the murder scene
I’ve got pits that stankle stankle stankle
Offending the cops turnin’ them green
I’ve got a bro that bleedles bleedles bleedles
From the hole that’s right between his eyes
I’ve got guilt that’s heavy heavy heavy
‘Cause I should have been the one that died.
– The Ballad of Marcus (author unknown)
Daily Shadow CsOTW
Saturday
————
Bob Tice
October 5th, 2024 at 4:38 am Reply
Gasoline Alley: “With these exaggerated facial features, we three guttersnipes look like Cole Slaw Patch Kids, or whatever it is they’re called!”
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
October 5th, 2024 at 8:13 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Can we make this narrative less interesting than an irritable old man? Less interesting than a man sitting on a park bench? Than trigger finger? WE CAN SURE AS HELL TRY!!
Sunday
———-
BigTed
October 6th, 2024 at 4:32 am Reply
Mary Worth: “What’s in these muffins, Mary? They’re so good!” “I used an old tried-and-true recipe. Wheat, sugar, bran, blueberries, my neighbors’ tears, and 100% pure, unadulterated self-righteousness. You know, same as always!”
Dr. Pill
October 6th, 2024 at 2:57 pm Reply
Dennis the Menace: The Mitchells seem to live in a candy-and-cake house old witches are partial to. Talk about astronomical property insurance.
Monday
———–
nescio
October 7th, 2024 at 4:40 am Reply
Alice: The new Anthropomorphic Teller Machines are off putting.
Hibbleton
October 7th, 2024 at 5:46 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: Watching his mom eat the same meal, Dennis comes to the only logical conclusion: Alice has hairy boobs. I look forward to the coming strip where he tells this to Henry’s co-worker.
Tuesday
———–
Ukranazi Stepan
October 8th, 2024 at 4:52 am Reply
Popeye: Leave the two of them locked in together until they either kill each other or fall in love and go off to get married and have many very ugly children.
DarkAudit
October 8th, 2024 at 10:34 pm Reply
Gil Thorp: “Hey, Doc! Is it too late to pull the plug?” – Gil, after seeing the new artwork.
Wednesday
—————
jvwalt
October 9th, 2024 at 5:46 am Reply
Blondie: I guess it’s time to upgrade my phone. It doesn’t even have one antenna, let alone three.
Roscoe
October 9th, 2024 at 8:31 am Reply
Blondie: Dagwood: “So that’s where my three missing strands of hair went!”
Thursday
————
Lauralot
October 10th, 2024 at 4:34 am Reply
Rex Morgan: I’ve never been that angry about anything in my life. And I’ve been set on fire before.
LTJpezcore1
October 10th, 2024 at 7:24 am Reply
Mary Worth: “What happened next, Stell?”
“I murrrrrrrderrrrrrred him Mary. Murrrrrrrrrrrderrrrrrr” **Stell slowly caresses a knife in her hands.
Friday
——–
Cleveland Mocks
October 11th, 2024 at 5:05 am Reply
Mary Worth: “After a few weeks of marriage, Jimmy just never seemed to want to spend time with me. I used to make these adorable little animal masks for him to wear around the house, but he always found some excuse not to be home. What’s wrong with these men, Mary?”
Lord Flatulence
October 11th, 2024 at 6:06 am Reply
Six Chix: Whenever I start to lose hope, I remember that I don’t have to read Six Chix, and I know we’re all gonna be okay.
.
.
.
Shadow COTW
——————
I speak Jive
October 7th, 2024 at 9:06 am Reply
Mary Worth: Quick! Someone step on one of those butterflies so that Mary Worth was never born, or at least doesn’t know how to bake muffins.
Congrats to Ancient Mariner for CotW and the runner-ups too :3
Also the shadow CotW were good as well ^^
Congrats on the SCotW, I speak Jive!
@Baja Gaijin: The candy house comment, reminded me of a Far Side comic, where a witch can’t comprehend why the kids are going to her neighbour’s candy house and not her own house made of brussel sprouts.
yyy@Sequitur: The resemblance is starting.
// I retired that Accumath decades ago.
Yay!
Happy to be back on the float, wearing my fin de siecle Phantom outfit.
Congratulations, ancient mariner!
Congratulations to ancient Mariner!
Thank you for the mentions!
Six Chex pushes the SKIP THE PUNCHLINE button again.
Slylick Fox And Comix For Kinx: Today’s Terrific Copyright Infringer is Mohan, age 14
Thanks, Baja.
Congrats to all and thanks for the mention Baja
Congrats to it is an ancient mariner, and all the albatrosses! Broon Croons to Peanut Gallery, Victor Von, Ukranazi Stephan, Voshkod, and Cleveland Mocks!
@GarrisonSkunk: True. There’s no question the “skip to recipe” button is a boon to all mankind. I don’t need to hear how Meemaw ripped the hog jowls straight off the living pig before making her world-class hillbilly beans and skillet cornbread.