Metapost: 1st of the month, 1st COTW of the month
Post Content
Happy November, all! And there’s nothing happier than the comment of the week!
“The robot looks like he’s been waiting a long time to squeeze this question in. How long as he been sitting there listening to the girls spout malapropisms? Days? Weeks? Being a machine, he doesn’t need to eat or sleep, and being eldritch horrors, neither do they.” –Peanut Gallery
And your very funny runners up are a delight!
“I like how Tater’s costume seems to to be an actual hollowed-out potato? Makes sense: they can still eat it afterwards (if he doesn’t soil it) and there’s no sense wasting good burlap.” –pugfuggly
“I guess Granny Creeps wasn’t protein deprived as a child. Looks like witchin’ pays better than chicken stealin’ in Hootin’ Holler.” –But What Do I Know?
“If they had been driving through a different part of town at that moment Joey might’ve said ‘I want to be a lake!’ or ‘I want to be a Batteries Plus store!’ or ‘I want to be an expressway!’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
“Marvin sure is a lucky kid. Robots don’t usually give you this clear an warning that they’re about to peel your skin off and remove your internal organs to run diagnostics on your power supply and other internal hardware.” –jroggs
“I appreciate the detail of Max watching in terror the body horror wreak havoc around him but not letting that stop him from getting some candy. You go, little mouse, and enjoy your tasty treats.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Jeffy is wearing his father’s old coat with the sleeves comically rolled up, whereas Billy has a perfectly tailored Superman costume. So where on this spectrum does PJ fall? I’m guessing dog costume, as in a costume meant for the dog, who refuses to wear it.” –Rex_Thrillho, on Twitter
“They ain’t laughin’ at ya on accounta yer costume, Jughaid! — they’re laughin’ at ya on accounta yer backwoods colloquialisms ‘n’ elisions!’” –Bob Tice
“He asks that as though he already knows how people guts feel. I’d keep an eye on this kid.” –Pozzo
“I love the constant reminders that Pierre is literally the best-behaved dog in history, content to pass his days gazing quietly upon his owners in quiet admiration. This was the level of responsibility that was too much for Wilbur. We all like making fun of Dawn, but honestly the fact that she’s even alive is a pretty heroic achievement.” –Dan
“Nah, Rex is more likely to go into pedantic teacher mode with them. ‘Well, Blonde-Haired Adoptive Son, that’s an interesting question. You see there are many different forms of human viscera, and each have their distinct textural properties. The intestines, for example, have a wet, slippery feel that might be comparative to the interior contents of a pumpkin, but the liver…’” –TheDiva
“I bet you that their ‘compromise’ is to simply have the wedding right there at the vet clinic, so that Ed can immediately get right to work operating on bulldogs instead of celebrating his honeymoon (‘At least someone will have a sharp tool inside them tonight,’ Estelle will sigh with resignation).” –2+2=7
“Count Thorpula has a personality. That’s how you can tell it’s a costume.” –MKay
“I prefer to think that the creators Rex Morgan cleverly dodged a lawsuit from Star Wars, Disney, Marvel, DC, Nintendo, et al. There’s no way those kids aren’t dressed as Spider Man and Wario under those coats.” –Old School Allie Cat
“I like the kid who just bought a huge, grotesque monster mask and didn’t care enough to add any other costume — he’s just wearing it with his everyday clothes. Especially since it came with huge, leering eyes, which means he can’t actually see anything as he traverses his neighborhood streets at night. In fact, Gertie thinks he’s so cool that she’s giving him extra candy from her dog-food bowl of loose M&Ms!” –BigTed
“The French Foreign Legion has a history of taking in criminals, runaways, orphans, and other pliable castoffs of society to fill the ranks and help enforce a brutal colonial regime on the indigenous population. But behind the man who wields the gun are several more doing the support work to keep the legion running and supplied, and skills like that require normal civilians. Cooks like this one cannot be blind to the mission of violence they support, so the Legion has ways of breaking them, by having them befriend sentient chickens, before having to kill them to feed the troops in the field.” –Philip
“I like to think there’s some puppy play going on in today’s Mary Worth as well. Mary is clearly the one responsible for Wilbur receiving invites to his exes’ weddings and she has to be the one making him go. I can only figure she’s doing the fabled dog-owner thing of rubbing a dog’s nose in its mess to teach it a lesson and stop it from repeating the bad behavior. How many more failed relationships will Mary have to rub Wilbur’s nose into before he finally stops tracking them into her apartment? It might look impossible to do from the outside but Mary has successfully trained Wilber to salivate after she rings a bell so she’s really hopeful this current training will stick soon.” –Lionheart
“Sorry, Beetle, regardless of what you saw on MASH or read in Catch-22, the military really doesn’t do Section 8 separation anymore. Instead, you’re looking at months with Dr. Bonkus and then an other-than-honorable discharge, which is just not going to look good to your future civilian employee. Buck up! You’ve been in the Army over 50 years; your pension is going to be great!” –Voshkod
“After this pleasant thought, Mary immediately begins scheming to get Wilbur and Shiela together. What’s the ship name? Shilbur? Wiela?” –Navigator
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26 replies to “Metapost: 1st of the month, 1st COTW of the month”
Congratulations to Peanut Gallery and the Floaters and Scroters:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
October 26th, 2024 at 4:40 am Reply
MW: And by favorite ‘spot’ he means favorite parking spot. Ed is more OCD than workaholic.
Bob Tice
October 26th, 2024 at 7:49 am Reply
MW:
“Stell? — I’ve found the ‘e’s from both ends of that ridiculous nickname of yours!”
Schroduck
October 26th, 2024 at 5:07 am Reply
BB: The soldiers are swearing because they’re yelling “Fucking hell! Popeye just ran onto the basketball court and stole the damn ball!”
BigTed
October 26th, 2024 at 7:58 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: Forget the beer and snacks that usually accompany sports on TV — Mrs. Halftrack is apparently serving nothing but straight whisky in large tumblers. No wonder the guys are so exuberant! (And she’s so open with her potty mouth — if my math is correct, two of the glasses are for her.)
Hi and Lois: Of course, Ditto couldn’t possibly enjoy rooting for either New York or Los Angeles. “Hi and Lois — the only comic strip that dares to defy the Coastal Elites!” (Boston doesn’t count — we all know Red Sox fans are pluggers.)
Mary Worth: Stell has a lot of apologizing to do in order to get Ed back. Luckily, she knows the only real key to his heart — which is why she’s leaning her head out of the open car window like a dog.
Bob Tice
October 26th, 2024 at 7:49 am Reply
MW:
“Stell? — I’ve found the ‘e’s from both ends of that ridiculous nickname of yours!”
Thunderheels
October 26th, 2024 at 6:22 am Reply
As Hi and Ditto decide what sport to watch, Hi instructs Ditto in the art of mutual masturbation. A bond passed down over the generations.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
I speak Jive
October 26th, 2024 at 7:14 am Reply
FC – Holier than thou Grandma is thinking about holding a pillow on Dolly’s face. “Be gone, Satan!”
Seriously, I can’t imagine that the old bat would take two small children to a scary movie.
Considering how the rest of the audience is dressed, maybe it’s a revival of a scary movie from the 1960s.
Arabella
October 26th, 2024 at 8:25 am Reply
@I speak Jive: re FC: I also have trouble figuring out what’s going on here. The setting seems to be a movie theater, and the rest of the audience, including Billy and several kids, seems to be watching intently with more dismay than horror. I have to assume it’s a religious movie that shows the results of a sinful life. HTT Grandma wouldn’t enter a movie theater otherwise. In any case, Dolly doesn’t seem to be paying any attention.
RMMD: There’s a PDA going on in panel 2! Passions inflamed by roots country music! Or else it’s a kidnapping in progress.
Ukulele Ike
October 26th, 2024 at 8:51 am Reply
@Arabella: It’s difficult to tell, but I hope that the young blonde in the pink minidress grabbed hold of a random fat guy/Plugger for parking-lot smoochies. The alternative is too awful to contemplate.
pugfuggly
October 26th, 2024 at 4:37 am Reply
Blondie: Ha, it’s funny because fumigation isn’t for eliminating unpleasant odors, it’s for killing pests. So I think Elmo’s dad has just announced his intentions to kill his wife? Well, nice of him to allow her the rest of the pumpkin season, I guess…
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Cleveland Mocks
October 27th, 2024 at 6:22 am Reply
MW: “Oh good! Now I want you to take tomorrow off and look at some leopard-print tablecloths I’m thinking about for our reception!”
TheDiva
October 27th, 2024 at 6:53 am Reply
MW: So their special place is the footbridge from The Music Man.
I speak Jive
October 27th, 2024 at 7:45 am Reply
Mary Worth – “Stell, I’m so happy we’re back together. Let’s celebrate by going to the clinic and euthanizing some kittens.”
Peanut Gallery
October 27th, 2024 at 6:57 am Reply
Dennis – You should go back to the vampire idea, Dennis. Because you suck.
Schroduck
October 27th, 2024 at 6:41 am Reply
Pluggers: Begging the artist never to draw the word BRRAPP coming out of a Plugger’s ass ever again. I thought the caption was going to be something like “Even when he’s not in his car, a plugger suffers from the gas crisis” or “There’s no such thing as zero-emission vehicle for a plugger” or “An eco-friendly plugger makes his own wind energy”.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 27th, 2024 at 5:05 pm Reply
Pluggers: And this is only one regret that bears who used to ride bicycles have. So many investments they could have made with that Russian circus money.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Bono Vix
October 28th, 2024 at 4:38 am Reply
Marvin. Battery powered devices achieving sentience seems cute right up to the second Jenny’s vibrator screams from the bedroom.
Charterstone: Dune
October 28th, 2024 at 5:28 am Reply
Marvin: I would like to thank the syndicate for refusing to publish the third panel wherein Marvin explains in graphic detail how humans get their energy and that at the tail end of the proces, his parents have to change something other than batteries.
Pozzo
October 28th, 2024 at 5:29 am Reply
In panel three, Marvin will inquire about the robot’s excretory functions.
MKay
October 28th, 2024 at 4:46 am Reply
SLYLOCK: I’m sure Count Weirdly isn’t the pinnacle of mastermindedness, but wouldn’t it be better to change Slylock first? He’s just hanging around. Change him into a fly and swat him. (I’m WAY too invested in this)
Flipper
October 28th, 2024 at 8:35 am Reply
H&L: I’d be even more surly than Chip if my brother screamed “Going, going, gone! It’s outta here!” as he jerked off next to me in the living room.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Cleveland Mocks
October 28th, 2024 at 6:29 am Reply
MW: On the way back to Estelle’s car, Ed spots a flattened squirrel in the road. He rushes over and begins mouth-to-mouth and chest compressions, but it’s too late. He slams his fist on the pavement and screams, “DAMN it!” After taking a moment to recover, he carefully lifts the body and says to Estelle, “Here, let’s put this on your back seat.”
UProfessor Well Actually
October 28th, 2024 at 11:32 am Reply
MW: I assume Ed and Stell will celebrate their reconciliation with frenzied doggie style while wearing face masks.
TheDiva
October 28th, 2024 at 5:52 am Reply
MW: Oh good, Ed decided to fix the problem Stell had just when Stell had decided she was okay living with the problem! It’s like “The Gift of the Magi,” only unbelievably stupid.
Pluggers think anyone will recognize an Unknown Comic costume.
But What Do I Know?
October 29th, 2024 at 5:11 am Reply
FC — Once again the colorist has it wrong. Jeffy’s nose ought to be a deep shade of brown. . .
Tabby Lavalamp
October 29th, 2024 at 5:45 am Reply
There’s no way Pa Keene didn’t tell Jeffy to say that to fuck with Billy. Maybe next time you’ll clean up your black rectangles instead of dropping them everywhere you go, Billy.
pugfuggly
October 29th, 2024 at 5:24 am Reply
FC I can imagine Jeffy eventually turning to a life of crime of some sort, but I don’t think he really has the ‘rizz’ as the the kids say, to pull off pimping.
nescio
October 29th, 2024 at 6:11 am Reply
FC: Bil is looking at Jeffy with pride and admiration. Sure sounds like a superpower beyond the ability of normal human beings.
Chance
October 29th, 2024 at 4:39 am Reply
“I’m a real superhero. I’m Daddy after he comes home from the s’loon!”
I speak Jive
October 29th, 2024 at 8:42 am Reply
FC – At first I thought that Jeffy was going as Don Draper from Mad Men, but the clothes are too old.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
TheDiva
October 29th, 2024 at 6:56 am Reply
GT: Marty Moon must be in detox again…
Hal B
October 30th, 2024 at 4:37 am Reply
MW– Dr. Ed didn’t want the big wedding for one reason only: Wilbur’s drunken toast at the reception about Ed getting to enjoy Estelle, aka Wilbur’s “sloppy seconds” (just like he did and at Zak and Iris’ wedding reception!)
Ettorre
October 30th, 2024 at 5:06 am Reply
I’m all in favour for a small wedding, but I guess this means that Estelle lost all the deposits for orders she placed for the big wedding. Her judgement in men is only matched by her savvy in money!
pugfuggly
October 30th, 2024 at 5:25 am Reply
MW: “I already do? Sweet, I’ll stop there, then. By the way, I have to go give a ferret an enema now. I’ll be back tomorrow or maybe next week, I dunno.”
Dan
October 30th, 2024 at 4:48 am Reply
I love the constant reminders that Pierre is literally the best-behaved dog in history, content to pass his days gazing quietly upon his owners in quiet admiration. This was the level of responsibility that was too much for Wilbur. We all like making fun of Dawn, but honestly the fact that she’s even alive is a pretty heroic achievement.
Ukranazi Stepan
October 30th, 2024 at 5:14 am Reply
At the rate Eshtelle’s neck’s growing, her giraffe ancestry will soon be impossible to hide, so DrEd will be able to do with her whatever he does with giraffes.
Mountain Mama
October 30th, 2024 at 7:31 am Reply
Hello everybody! Good to be back.
MW–I assume Ed’s new vet will be an extremely attractive young woman, sparking a jealousy plot. I hate this strip.
astroboy
October 30th, 2024 at 4:31 am Reply
MW – Estelle is getting a swelled head over her renewed relationship with Ed. No, really, look at the size of that giant head! Is she trying out for a role in The Family Circus?
Hibbleton
October 30th, 2024 at 4:54 am Reply
RMMD: We say the melonheads are stupid but Rex doesn’t even trust the boys to use the spork Sarah is holding.
Pozzo
October 30th, 2024 at 4:36 am Reply
RMMD: He asks that as though he already knows how people guts feel. I’d keep an eye on this kid.
Schroduck
October 30th, 2024 at 4:46 am Reply
Rex Morgan is a general practitioner, so he probably doesn’t actually have much experience of what it feels like to plunge your hands into the belly of a human being and root around in their guts. No, he had to learn that in his private time.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Liam
October 30th, 2024 at 6:42 am Reply
FC-Those poor kids really want to vote for Nixon.
Horace Broon
October 30th, 2024 at 1:09 pm Reply
FC: Look, I’m prepared to suspend my disbelief about a lot of things when I’m reading the comics. But I refuse to accept that Billy — Billy! — correctly added up his and his siblings’ ages.
jroggs
October 30th, 2024 at 4:52 am Reply
GT: A minute of research shows that 1:35:84 is an absolutely AWFUL time for the 4×100 relay, longer than double the actual record set by high school girls’ track teams. Is this a competition to discover the most physically unfit high school in America, or has Keri been starving herself recently to compete in the 1st Annual Eating Disorder Games?
Cleveland Mocks
October 30th, 2024 at 2:52 pm Reply
@jroggs:
GT: A minute of research shows that 1:35:84 is an absolutely AWFUL time for the 4×100 relay
Extenuating circumstances here. Since both teams entered only two runners in the 4 x 100, the second runner, Keri for Milford, had to run just slightly behind Dorothy for the first 100. Then when Dorothy reached back and passed the baton to Keri for the second leg, Dorothy had to run just behind Keri so that she could take the hand-off for the third leg. Then for the anchor leg, Keri had to bust it to the finish, but she had already run 300 meters by then and she was a little gassed, and thus the slow time.
Let’s not question Henry Barajas’ knowledge of sports, okay?
Rube
October 30th, 2024 at 6:04 am Reply
I think I have read all the comments, and nobody has made a “Buxley wants Beetle to give her the old ‘Inn-n-Out” joke about today’s strip, which is pretty remarkable restraint.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
InvasionOfTheZIM
October 30th, 2024 at 8:02 am Reply
H&L: Maybe Lois is concerned that the HGTV film crew will be filming her attempt to sell a crummy house, forever associating her with the “before” picture on Rundown Renovations or whatever show the guy hosts.
BigTed
October 30th, 2024 at 9:21 am Reply
Hi and Lois: Lois suddenly realized that the enormous house and yard she and Hi purchased years ago, in the suburbs of a small city that frequently makes those “Best Places to Live” lists, could now be worth a fortune on the open market. Then she looked at the Thurstons’ house next door, with its gross yard and grosser resident, and quickly calculated how depressed the property values in their particular corner of the neighborhood must be. And that’s when she started searching the internet for “how to inject cyanide into a closed can of beer.” (She quickly received simple, six-step instructions from Google’s AI Overview, which was extremely helpful but also kind of disturbing for its own reasons.)
Peanut Gallery
October 30th, 2024 at 8:52 am Reply
Hi and Lois – Hi always has to one-up Lois in the work anecdotes department. “Oh yeah? Well, a guy came into my office today and flipped me the bird.”
Philip
October 31st, 2024 at 5:43 am Reply
Mary Worth – I hope this isn’t a case where the storyline wraps by Saturday and a new one is introduced on Monday. I want a 1980/90s comedy hijinks sort of wedding, where children are trying to get their divorced parents back together (without help from Mary), a man works up the courage to confess his feelings to a longtime crush (a poorly written one-dimensional woman), and Wilbur eats the cake before the cutting ceremony like a poorly behaved St. Bernard.
Doc Wonmug
October 31st, 2024 at 6:12 am Reply
Damn, now we’ll never get to see a “silver fox” Stell in satin short shorts and thigh high leather boots.
Hibbleton
November 1st, 2024 at 4:59 am Reply
I like how Blondie pops a grape in her mouth to further rub it in which, until today, I’d never heard of revenge eating.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
nescio
November 1st, 2024 at 5:08 am Reply
Crock: All the legionnaires are eating cock tonight.
MKay
November 1st, 2024 at 4:49 am Reply
MW: Only a schmuck goes to the wedding of someone who’s dumped them. So, basically, Wilbur should never going to another wedding.
pugfuggly
November 1st, 2024 at 4:49 am Reply
MW: I know that Stell was cool with a low-key wedding, but I didn’t think that meant congregating in a /squints/ train station(?). If I didn’t recognize those characters I would assume they were just random passerbys reacting to come kind of street performance.
Old School Allie Cat
November 1st, 2024 at 6:38 am Reply
Why are we not talking about the fact that Tiffany gave Stef a censored middle finger in Luann today? Oh, because it’s otherwise a formulaic, average artwork dinosaur of a strip? Ok. Carry on.
TheDiva
November 1st, 2024 at 7:11 am Reply
Luann: That horrible Tiffany, flirting with Stef’s boyfriend behind her back and flipping her off about…(whispers) What’s that? Official protagonist now? Inherently justified in everything she does? Oh, okay…ahem…That horrible Stef, noticing Kip and Tiffany are flirting behind her back and actually calling them out on it, how dare she?
UProfessor Well Actually
November 1st, 2024 at 6:06 am Reply
Luann: does that cheerleader know how much she affected Greg?
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Liam
October 27th, 2024 at 9:28 am Reply
Luann-Twenty dollars for the solution.
GarrisonSkunk
October 27th, 2024 at 9:36 am Reply
William Shatner voice LLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!! Like a poor marksman you keep swiping the 69 position when I’m talking about alien genitalia!”
Special No. 70 Booby (or Pussy) Prize – GarrisonSkunk
October 27th, 2024 at 9:31 am Reply
Slylick Fox and Comix For Kinx: “Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place.”- Marta, Star Trek IV The Undiscovered Country. Case in point, these two who keep them above their mouths.
69. cheech wizard
October 29th, 2024 at 8:10 am Reply
FC– So…Daddy is a bum? Maybe Jeffy needs to borrow that flask from the famous panel where Bil and Billy come home from the football game as well.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Ukulele Ike
October 31st, 2024 at 6:55 am Reply
DT: So it looks like the “Totten Organization” is a charity riding stables for poverty-stricken little girls. See the horsie peeking through the window?
I’ve always wanted employment at a business where I could answer the telephone with “Yes, that drunk is ours….”
69, BigTed
November 1st, 2024 at 7:51 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: Beetle is walking on all fours like a dog, because he’s jealous of a dog who walks on two legs like a man! Even Sarge is weirded out by this, to the point where he’s holding 11 donuts but forgot to eat any of them.
Thanks, Scratchy.
Wow, thanks, Josh! And thanks as always to Baja and Scratchy for all the extra bonus funnies!
Springboard Shadow COTW
Banana Jr. 6000
October 31st, 2024 at 6:29 am Reply
@Tabby Lavalamp: Gil Thorp: “Thorpula” sounds like a medical device.
——————————————————
Or a body part. “Patient has a dislocation of the third lower thorpula, which is causing thorpular spasms.”
.
.
.
Special Pre-Halloween Estelle and Ed Reconciliation Shadow CsOTW
astroboy
October 30th, 2024 at 4:31 am Reply
Mary Worth: Estelle is getting a swelled head over her renewed relationship with Ed. No, really, look at the size of that giant head! Is she trying out for a role in The Family Circus?
Hal B
October 30th, 2024 at 4:37 am Reply
Mary Worth: Dr. Ed didn’t want the big wedding for one reason only: Wilbur’s drunken toast at the reception about Ed getting to enjoy Estelle, aka Wilbur’s “sloppy seconds” (just like he did and at Zak and Iris’ wedding reception!)
Ukranazi Stepan
October 30th, 2024 at 5:14 am Reply
Mary Worth: At the rate Eshtelle’s neck’s growing, her giraffe ancestry will soon be impossible to hide, so Dr. Ed will be able to do with her whatever he does with giraffes.
BeckoningChasm
October 30th, 2024 at 5:34 am Reply
Mary Worth: Estelle’s neck is trying to push her head off. If it succeeds, that may wrap up this whole scenario.
Ettorre
October 30th, 2024 at 7:13 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I just want a simple wedding. No band or DJ. The only entertainment will be Wilbur crying conspicuously in his main course”
Guillermo el chiclero
October 30th, 2024 at 7:42 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Rex would be the kind of dick who’d slip a real human brain into one of those pumpkins while the kids aren’t looking.
ectojazzmage
October 30th, 2024 at 7:54 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Hey, Ed, you ever notice how our animals spend most of their time just kinda staring at us creepily while we have personal drama?”
Charterstoned
October 30th, 2024 at 8:12 am Reply
Mary Worth: It looks like Estelle is desperately trying to hold her uppers in place so they don’t fall into her wine glass. Either that, or she forgot to put her lip on when she did her make-up.
Daily Shadow CsOTW
Saturday
————
ectojazzmage
October 26th, 2024 at 7:20 am Reply
Hi And Lois: That’s actually Hi’s old “sex” hat that he’s clumsily stitched into saying “Sox” because he’s too cheap to buy his son a hat for his favorite team. Such is life.
Bob Tice
October 26th, 2024 at 7:58 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Let’s go to our favorite spot! — is there room in the back of your car for Sheila to tag along?”
Sunday
———-
The Rambling Otter
October 27th, 2024 at 4:43 am Reply
Snuffy Smith: Seeing as Granny Creeps is canonically a witch, I wonder what curse will befall Snuffy from wearing it?
It’ll probably just turn him into a disgusting little creature and…. wait a second.
Everything Is Better With Monkeys
October 27th, 2024 at 5:53 am Reply
Snuffy Smith: Has science discovered what is missing from the Hootin’ Holler diet that causes the goiter-like noses and lolling tongues? Or is everyone just too grossed out to bother studying this?
Monday
———–
Bono Vix
October 28th, 2024 at 4:38 am Reply
Marvin: Battery powered devices achieving sentience seems cute right up to the second Jenny’s vibrator screams from the bedroom.
TheDiva
October 28th, 2024 at 5:52 am Reply
Mary Worth: Oh good, Ed decided to fix the problem Stell had just when Stell had decided she was okay living with the problem! It’s like “The Gift of the Magi,” only unbelievably stupid.
Tuesday
———–
A Grave Mind
October 29th, 2024 at 4:47 am Reply
Family Circus: Big Daddy Keane smiles at neither of his imbecile children, no. He’s simply strangling a kitten behind that wall, as he does.
Guy Nerdlinger
October 29th, 2024 at 8:33 am Reply
Gasoline Alley: Hot take 1: Since when is a plate of fettucine an acceptable hair style?
Wednesday
—————
Pozzo
October 30th, 2024 at 4:36 am Reply
Rex Morgan: He asks that as though he already knows how people guts feel. I’d keep an eye on this kid.
Schroduck
October 30th, 2024 at 4:46 am Reply
Rex Morgan is a general practitioner, so he probably doesn’t actually have much experience of what it feels like to plunge your hands into the belly of a human being and root around in their guts. No, he had to learn that in his private time.
Thursday
————
Charterstoned
October 31st, 2024 at 4:39 am Reply
Mary Worth: Looking at the hefty amount of gray glop left over in that bowl, I assumed the batter was made with oatmeal. Then I re-examined that finished, hard cake with its crisp edges and realized it must be made with Bondo.
Dennis Jimenez
October 31st, 2024 at 5:12 am Reply
Mary Worth: Yes – Stelle’s marriage will be just like your cake – dry…unsatisfying…hard to swallow…
Friday
——–
LTJpezcore1
November 1st, 2024 at 5:35 am Reply
Mary Worth: Is “When Stell marries Ed in his living room” one of saddest statements ever committed to paper?
Ettorre
November 1st, 2024 at 6:52 am Reply
“Mary, why should I invite Wilbur, especially if it is a small wedding?”
“Wilbur will play an essential role!”
“Which one?”
“Well, in case you get cold feet over marrying a self-centred workaholic with no boundaries between professional and personal life, Wilbur will be there to remind you of the alternative!”
“WHAT?!?!”
“I mean, forgiveness is a good way to make a new start!”
.
.
.
Shadow COTW
——————
Peanut Gallery
October 31st, 2024 at 6:55 am Reply
Gil Thorp: Count Thorpula, the Thorp-flavored cereal with little marshmallow Thorp bits! It’s fairly disgusting, but still not as bad as Franken Coach or Marty Moon Berry.
Thanks, Baja and Scratchy!
Thanks, Josh and Scratchy!
Congrats to all the winners, and, to Josh, Scratchy and Baja, thankee, thankee, thankee! OMG — I’m morphing into Gomer Pyle….
Congrats to Peanut Gallery and the floaters!
Thanks for the mention Baja and congrats to those who brought the hilarity across the board!
COTW and Shadow COTW in the same week? I feel remarkably well-rounded! No wait, that’s just from all the extra Halloween candy. Thanks again to all you funny commenters!
Congrats to everyone on the float, the shadowfloaters, and my fellow scratchies! Broon Croons to Dan, Tabby Lavalamp, and LTJpezcore1!
And a happy All Saints’ Day to all! When do they go marching in?
Thanks, Scratchy and Baja!
Thanks for serving me The Mrs. Slocomb Award, Scratchy!
Congrats, PG! Thanks, Scratchy!
Thanks for having me back on the float. Pumpkin guts for everyone!