Gertie’s husband should divorce her. There, I said it. He’s obviously very unhappy
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Gearhead Gertie, 4/23/26
At first glance, Gearhead Gertie seems like a comic about NASCAR, but it isn’t, not really. It’s actually about one woman’s wildly over-the-top relationship to NASCAR, which is a different thing entirely. For instance, imagine an all-too-possible future where oil exports through the Strait of Hormuz are blocked or significantly curtailed indefinitely. Surely the resulting energy shock would have a big impact on NASCAR, a sport entirely dependent on gasoline. But the strip doesn’t even grapple with those implications. Instead, the only thing that matters is how high gas prices would immediately affect Gertie and her tireless quest to consume and enjoy NASCAR content. Why, what if she couldn’t afford to drive to a race? That would be comical indeed. The idea that anything could possibly change the sport itself is as foreign to Gertie as it is irrelevant to the strip that bears her name.
Andy Capp, 4/23/26
You hear a lot of online chatter about how England is a crime-ridden hellhole these days or whatever, but I dunno. Obviously Andy is responsible for a certain amount of antisocial behavior, but most of it boils down to borrowing money from acquaintances and spending it on beer instead of repaying them or his landlord, and any country where that guy is “suspect no. 1” is probably doing pretty well, actually.
64 replies to “Gertie’s husband should divorce her. There, I said it. He’s obviously very unhappy”
Maybe Andy is historically “Suspect No. 1”, whose 1957 introduction marked the beginning of Great Britain’s long slide into the abyss. Just spitballin’ here.
Andy Capp-Andy isn’t getting any success from Andy Capp Fries?
MW-“I fell for a ‘woman’ who said she loved me and gave her over $200,000.”
RMMD-“I’ve been banned from Nick’s. Last time I was there they had a plumbing malfunction.”
FC-“But I’m not going to drown them in a sack,” the cat replies.
Andy Capp : What about public
urinationinebriation, which is a crime, and Andy Capp is almost certainly guilty of it?*************
Gearhead Gertie : Would probably get better mileage if her car had, you know TIRES and wasn’t rolling on the spokes.
*************
Moose & Molly : ….Isn’t this a Nasreddin Hodja bit?
AC: Things are so bad over there they’re still using CRT TVs.
@Hibbleton:
Bought ’em cheap when the Keanes upgraded.
FC: Cut Kittykat a break, Thel. At least he taught Jeffy how to shit in a box and not leave it on the floor like Barfy.
GT I’d ask why there needs to be a megaphone to call out to the crowd depicted two days ago with maybe a dozen kids but I’m pretty sure that whatever’s been drawn here is at *best* as effective as putting your hands by your mouth to try to project your voice anyhow
MW “I mean, there was ‘dating’, right, before she ghosted you? You wouldn’t just send piles of money to somebody you never even met!”
I assume Andy Capp’s crimes include football hooliganism.
Gearhead Gertie:
What model of vehicle is Gertie driving, anyway? — a Tonka?
CS: I want the original of this. That is all. This is the greatest Tom Batiuk comic strip of his entire career. I am not joking.
ANDY CAPP: Andy’s life of crime went the same way as his cocky Cockney accent.
DtM: I don’t often side with The Menace, but watching Margaret dance isn’t something I’d want to do NOW, let alone as a kid.
MW: The point of this arc is that an old, vulnerable man has been catfished, right? Scammed. Major money was lost. Can we just say it? Enough with the pussyfooting. It could happen again. “Trixie” could return; I’m sure Scruff Boy’s victim list was handed on to someone else after he escaped.
Andy Capp:
“Keepin’ your eyes covered like that with that hat of yours — who do you think you are, Andy? Beetle Bailey?”
If I was placing bets on which strip would make a topical reference today, I’m not sure “Gearhead Gertie” would have even been in my top ten.
GG: Gertie, you know there are actually several NASCAR tracks accessible by public transit? Why, you could be riding in comfort on a Metro St Louis shuttle bus to the World Wide Technology Speedway, or using the special raceday Amtrak station at Rockingham Speedway, or visiting any of the street tracks in America’s great cities. Just think of a bus as a really big NASCAR. Some of them even have the number 3 on the front!
MW: The way everyone’s being so blase about 200 grand makes me wonder, did the letterers simply make a mistake and the amount was supposed to only be 20 or even merely 2 thousand?
@DAS: Used to, back in the 70s or 80s.
You know, Gertie, you could always buy an electric caaaaahahhahahahah! I’m sorry! I thought I’d be able to get the words out. I know, I know, I will write letters of apology to Sir Andrew Mackenzie, the chairman, and Wael Sahan, the CEO of Shell plc.
***
I don’t know who Andy is talking about. Am I old, or just not British?
I was curious about how the Strait of Hormuz was affecting NASCAR, so I duckduckwent “NASCAR gasoline prices,” and the top hit was “NASCAR fans face hundreds in fuel costs to reach track.” Point to Gearhead Gertie!
AC: Not surprising that Andy doesn’t have any celebrity status to speak of in the Isles. From what I’ve gathered watching too much Britbox is the murder rate in Britain is so high that Andy’s rather low-level crimes of public drunkenness and various batteries wouldn’t garner much in the way of TV ratings.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Damn it, you made me curious so I read it and now I’m wondering if Tom Batiuk cloned himself and ate the clone, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a cartoonist more full of himself.
Not NASCAR, nor Gertie’s relationship with it, nor esoteric joy that comes from singleminded, zealous sports fandom, not even current events. No, in all these things, Gearhead Gertie is about the lengths folks will go to not to contradict people living with dementia, giving them a safe, familiar and emotionally enriching environment and thereby avoiding disorientation, agitation or acting out. Haldol’s cheaper and better for your back, Gertie’s husband!
@Pozzo: It made me realize that the conflict with Iran has lasted longer than the typical comic-strip lead time.
FC: Real horror show today. You can catch a good glimpse of the emaciated victims strung up by their wrists through the living room windows while Thel makes Jeffy and Billy “walk the fence.” The unfortunate cat is in the ‘wrong place, wrong time.’
Andy Capp’s TV-watching setup is infinitely better than Dagwood’s! Not only does he have a couch, so he and Flo can watch television together, he even has another TV embedded in the wall, so the screens can watch each other when no one else is around! Luxury!
I had a dream last night that all the tankers stuck in the Persian Gulf began holding races and regattas for want of anything better to do.
Are there any couples in the funny pages that wouldn’t earn a spot in that freaky Couples Therapy show?
Full disclosure – Mr. Cat and I did a brief stint in couples therapy, and our mutual hatred of the counselor, combined with the fact that the man kept his office 85 degrees year-round… we decided it was time to get our collective shit together without paying $120 a sesh. Now that’s an effective therapy!
AC: So in Britain there’s a show on the telly where police track down public urinators?
In a profound moment of ratiocination that rivals Newton and the apple, a Plugger discovers the mechanism of potential energy storage in complex glucose molecules while contemplating a chocolate cookie.
@Anonymous: Andy Capp : What about public urinationinebriation, which is a crime, and Andy Capp is almost certainly guilty of it?
Not in Hartlepool
GG — Every once in a while, a comic captures the zeitgeist–and today’s GG with its portrayal of a narcissistic, self-indulgent, uncaring and blind to the sufferings they cause while they blissfully ignore events person is spot on.
“In a world where gas is impossible to buy, one woman will face any odds to get to the track. Coming this Summer, Gearhead, by George Miller, starring Meryl Streep as Gertie.”
Gearhead Gertie is a manic pixie dream girl for midwest Republican grandpas
JP: I was going to complain that they’re wasting time with a recap, but they’ve been wasting time on so many other things that it has been over a real-world month since Bogdan’s visit to the house.
GG: Maybe Gertie’s NASCAR obsession is just her primary means of expressing her complete and total buy-in to American dependency on Big Auto and Big Oil. Gas may have skyrocketed, but she’d never stoop so low as to take public transportation to a race. That’s something only poor people and Europeans do.
GG – I guess I’m kinda missing the Gearhead part. Why is she called “Gearhead” when she seems to be a driver fan girl and nothing more? Sure she knows who the Earhardts are, but she never talks about compression ratios or ported manifolds or whether turbochargers or superchargers ruin the sport and the cars should be naturally aspirated. That’s gearhead stuff! I guess what I’m saying is that she is less “Gearhead Gertie” and more “Groupie Gertie” and that prospect raises the question of whether her husband’s tolerance is grounded in a fantasy of being cucked by a Nascar Driver. So I guess he won’t divorce her.
@Old School Allie Cat: Arlo and Janis. They’re freaky but not in that way.
@MKay (MW): You can think the scam is the big thing. I certainly agree with you, as do dozens of others here. But it’s clear that Moy thinks Harv and Sharon’s relationship is the point, so that’s all we’re going to get.
(Though I’d love it if sometime soon, John “Trixie” Long bursts through Harv’s door crying “I found you!”)
Geared Gertie: In 2027 NASCAR will celebrate 20 years of not using leaded gas. That’s after, say, 40 years of Gertie’s in-person fandom. It explains a lot.
Gasoline Alley
Saundra: Baby aspirin for both you and Mr. Wallet? That’s some pre-natal use, right? I’m so happy for you both!
MW: Do you really want your nonagenarian dad to tell you about his second, or first, bachelorhood?
DtM: That’s a lot of grownup style from someone who isn’t exactly Billy Elliot. Are grade school kids harder to impress than when I was that age?
Andy Capp:
I was intrigued by the title of the reality TV show Andy refers to, The Traitors. Turns out it was a real show about a social deduction game, which I found profoundly disappointing. I had something much grander in mind: contestants compete to pull off the biggest betrayals and backstabbings of their friends, loved ones, and homelands, judged by a panel consisting of the shades of Judas Iscariot, Marcus Junius Brutus, and Benedict Arnold. The grand prize: an all-expenses-paid trip to Skien, Norway, including VIP access to Gjerpen Church to visit the remains of Vidkun Quisling.
@Old School Allie Cat: Arlo & Janis.
FG:
Say, Rolin, now that I’m your trusted friend can I ditch this S&M cosplayer gladiator getup?
C’mon, Ming, you know it really adds to our spanking sessions.
@Anonymous: Nah, Gertie’s *way* too old to be of any interest to them.
C’shaft: And with that BatTom crosses over the Poe’s Law threshold, becoming indistinguishable from a parody of himself.
Dustin: Oh please, what would Dustdad even do with this precious quality daddy-daughter time? Complain about her driving? Forbid her from going out while wearing shorts, showing her knees off like a little hussy? Whine about how she’s making him watch K-Pop Demon Hunters instead of something manly? Face it, the only thing these two have in common is their mutual loathing for Dustin, and they’re both too self-absorbed to even bond over that.
GT: “Cut, cut! Keri, the indigenous reparations protest is next week! Stay focused!”
MW: So after one conversation with his daughter, Widower Hart is instantly and completely cured of his delusions that “Trixie” was on the level? Mary better watch her step; Sharon can meddle people out of their problems just by showing up!
MW: Shouldn’t we be seeing a panel everyday depicting a map with a red dot on it denoting “Trixie” getting ever closer to Charterstone where, presumably, (s)he’ll fall upon H___y like Medeline Usher on Roderick?
Gertie’s husband should suggest buying an EV. Not because it’s convenient but because it’s a sure way to do suicide by cop
@Vulpes: Yeah, the British are famously bad at real games involving traitors. See Philby, Burgess, Maclean, Blake, Blunt, Cairncross, Vassall, Prime, and Fuchs, as well as the collected works of John LeCarre.
@Vulpes: #39: Last years grand prize was an all expenses paid trip to Thermopylae, Greece that included a guided donkey ride through the secret pass that Ephialtes showed the Persians.
@richardf8: I think of it like “seamhead”, which is a word I’ve heard to describe baseball fans. You’re right that it’s a poor desciptor, though. A “gearhead” sounds more like someone who can actually work on cars. Or Revolio Clockberg Jr.
I don’t know why this is occurring to me now and, apologies to any and all who have already noted this, but why are Gertie’s ear studs red? It seems to me that it would be easy enough to put a checkerboard fill in there or, hell, at least green.
That said, they really ought to be flashing yellow.
Did we ever see the guy behind Trixie again, or was the end of that arc just “He got yard privileges, he climbed the wall, now he’s escaped and lives happily ever after”?
Crankshaft – That wasn’t a smile – it was gas.
It’s obvious why Batiuk switched Funky Winkerbean from gag a day to situation tragedy. He could still create self indulgent crap without trying to figure out what humor is.
Frazz – If Caulfield can’t figure out the difference between homework and a noise maker that annoys the entire class, maybe he isn’t the genius he thinks he is.
Jump Start – I’m going to go out on a limb and say they’re right.
Sherman’s Lagoon – That’s a first – a comic strip doctor who doesn’t wear one of those reflector things on his head.
Gearhead Gertie – Thanks for the reminder of why I never go out of my way to read this abysmal, one note strip.
Gertie’s expression is completely vacant. I would expect a single minded fanatic to look crazed or at least excited.
On Crankshaft :
On one hand, there’s a charitable reading to Bat
iukTON THOMAS’ anecdote, where his using self-depreciating humor to diffuse his awkwardness before a speech is kinda cute and amusing.On the other hand, the level of smug pride he shows as he tells it retroactively makes the self-depreciation sound insincere, like he’s being smarmy about the time he cheaply pandered to an audience consisting of the cool kids he wanted in with.
9CL – I can usually keep this straight, but I was confused about which twin is which and which one is engaged to Alistair. I had to look it up. So, today he’s talking to his fiancee Lolly about his bod. Yesterday Polly was hanging around him commenting on his bod. Does nobody remember that Polly got married a while back to a French Canadian named Guy, after an approximately ten minute courtship? There were a few strips with the couple blissfully boinking or maybe talking about boinking, but Guy hasn’t been seen since then. What happened?
Crank: I forget who suggested Cranky and One-Arm were an elderly gay couple, but now that’s canon in my brain.
So, when are they gonna start kissing?
Andy Capp: I think this is actually the strip’s way of telling us that when Andy isn’t “onscreen” giving us his humorous(?) commentary, he’s busy being the most infamous and impossible to catch serial killer in British history. The public lives in perpetual fear of the Capp Killer.
GG: A confused, nonsensical portrayal of NASCAR monomania, or a pointed political critique of American dependence on cars and foreign oil? You decide! (It’s the first. The writers aren’t that clever.)
is.. gertie’s car missing tires and being pushed on its hubs? and is the entire roof of the car missing? I feel like there’s more going on here than just a gas shortage
GG: Take a bus? Uber? Sure that’s not a “joke” but neither is what we were given.
Also Gertie’s car has no wheels, its completely on the rims there.
Wary Morth:
You know what might have been more interesting than this endless conversation between Hardy Har Har and his spawn?
Trixie, alone and on the run in Phnom Penh, with no money, no passport, no knowledge of Cambodian, hunted by his erstwhile captors; that might have been more interesting than this endless conversation between Hardy Har Har and his spawn.
@nescio: Public Urination is a proud tradition in the U.K. as immortalized on the cover of the classic rock album ‘Who’s Next’.
No, really, Andy is right to be enraged. There are no standards anymore, why shouldn’t he profit?
@Ukranazi Stepan:
In my headcanon, “Trixie” is Tommy the Tweaker fallen on hard times. Prove me wrong!
@Plaid: And the strip was probably submitted to the syndicate more than a month ago.
Once you reframe Gearhead Gertie as a strip about hyperfixation, potentially the kind that comes packaged with autism or ADHD, it starts making a lot more sense.
@matt w: Going to start using “duckduckwent” now, thank you.