Metapost: Summery COTW
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Is it hot enough for ya, bud? Oh, you say it’s too hot? You’d rather it was less hot? Well, sorry to hear that. Try to cool down with this week’s funniest top comment:
“I like how the dialogue box looks well too big for the text it contains, as if the writer was going to add more context to this scene and then decided no, it doesn’t matter. No-one cares why this is happening.” –pugfuggly
And the hilarious runners up!
“To be entirely fair to Blondie, sexual dimorphism seems to be pretty consistent with Dagwoods and I would believe that you need a different formulation of shampoo for whatever the hell is going on with their hair.” –Nichi Joe Young, on BlueSky
“Alice’s attempt to run away from her horrible husband and son was thwarted again. Keep on trying, Alice, I believe in you!” –Ettorre
“I’m fixated on the rubber duck in today’s strip. For one thing, it’s not yellow, and since this is a Sunday strip the odds are good that that is the cartoonist’s original vision. I’m sure there are plenty of white rubber ducks out there available for purchase, but in a visually conservative medium like comic strips it’s a shocking innovation. It’s also not floating on the water, instead sitting precariously on the edge of the bathtub while it’s forced to be audience to Dagwood’s off-key warbling. Finally, it just appears in the second panel of the second row—it’s not there in the previous panel, and Dagwood isn’t carrying it at any point. I’m not sure how or if these facts form a coherent whole, and you may think it’s pedantic to harp on such minor details, but considering Dagwood specifically mentions it I feel justified in focusing on it, especially since the alternative is to just pay attention to the quintillionth ‘ha ha, Dagwood sure likes food!’ punchline.” –Vulpes
“Funny that the artist includes a bit of Alice’s legs in the shot to show that she too isn’t riding on someone’s shoulders, thereby removing the one interesting thought one might have about today’s comic.” –Hibbleton
“I love how Rodney has been hit with arrows from all directions at once. It’s as if the opposing army and his own soldiers came together against their common object of hatred, and then some cherubs joined in the fun for good measure.” –Guts Dozier
“The Daddy Daze Daddy thinking his pre-verbal kid is telling him it’s the end of the school year should not make him less worried about having been Rip Van Winkle’d.” –Morgan Wick
“Oh, Tommy. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. You’re a former junkie and garden-variety moron, but you’re no dummy. The person next to you? That’s a dummy. Or maybe she’s a twit? Keep running, let’s see how this plays out.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“Not gonna lie, super curious to discover what kind of Lillian/Lucy memorabilia Hat Guy has been holding onto all these years, in the hope that it would appreciate in value. If these two are in their 80s, their young adulthood would have coincided with the 1960s, so maybe it’s racy photos of the sisters cavorting with Ringo Starr or another luminary of the ‘big bands’ of the day. But since this is the Funkyverse, it’s much more likely to be something devastatingly sad, like one of Lucy’s discarded stockings. Either way, let the laughs ensue!” –Doctor Moreau (Not a Doctor)
“Yep, not a lot of room in a coffin. Dying? Oh, probably. This is Crankshaft after all. I just assumed I’m dying and decided to get ahead on things” –Voshkod
“I’ll take ‘People Who Don’t Have Recording Devices on Their TV, or at Least Don’t Know How to Operate Them’ for 200, Ken!” –Bob Tice
“Here’s the thing about comic strip writers: if they encounter a word with two very different meanings or a word that sounds like another word, they never let go of it. They can’t. Come hell or high water, they’ll turn it into a daily. (‘Hey, wait a second, what if I had two characters called Heller and Highwater?’)” –Joe Blevins
“‘Why have the colors and lighting shifted?!’ ‘Because all is despair, Cosmo! You know this. Now, who’s got a dead-eyed stare for me? Come on!’” –A Grave Mind
“Today’s Mary Worth makes a lot more sense if you realize Tommy is taking a piss; why else would someone blurt out ‘Fro-Yo? That’s cool. I’m in!’ unless they were surprised in a moment when they thought they were alone?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
“I’ve been wondering what this wedding-planning storyline has to do with sports and whatnot but as he’s been gradually offloading all of the hard work and effort on to other people while he stands to reap the benefits and recognition, I can see that he’s simply figured out how to apply his ‘coaching’ style to other aspects of his life.” –Charterstone: Dune
“What does this setting’s economy even look like? The characters are realistically-sized birds and have no apparent cities or such, just random buildings crudely tied to trees. Is the Perfesser worried that he’ll lose his life savings of twigs and acorns?” –ectojazzmage
“The plan is working perfectly. Tomorrow Eugene shows up on Lillian’s doorstep with a truckload of worn-out furniture and three cats. ‘I figured Lucy would have wanted you to have them. Byee!’” –Peanut Gallery
“Pickles sent me down a brief rabbit hole of researching what happens to your taste buds as you age. It turns out that it is in fact common for your sense of smell and taste to diminish with the years, but that skillful use of acids and seasonings can still make food enjoyable! Or, if you’re mad at your husband for never learning how to cook in the last 50 years, you can serve him Fancy Feast.” –Navigator
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19 replies to “Metapost: Summery COTW”
For those waiting for the Shadow Float to arrive, it’s been unavoidably detained. Hopefully it’ll be out of
quarantinethe shop next week.Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
May 31st, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
MW: Dawn is also unsure what Tommy means by “self-abuse.” That’s why she has a fist ready for action in the next-to-last panel.
Gil Bates
May 31st, 2026 at 4:37 am Reply
MW: Extra negative points if he confesses said self-abuse was committed while thinking of any of the following people nekkid:
1) Dawn
2) Mary
3) Zach
4) Wilbur
5) Aldo
Bob Tice
May 31st, 2026 at 4:34 am Reply
Mary Worth:
“She’s like a second mom to me. You know — like a ‘Mommie Dearest,’ or a ‘Ma‘ Barker.”
Ettorre
May 31st, 2026 at 5:20 am Reply
Tommy and Dawn are correct. Many people, including me, when thinking about Mary say “she’s a real mother…”
2+2=7
May 31st, 2026 at 7:28 am Reply
MARY WORTH: Tommy: “Mary is like a second mother to me. My first mother would never plant a vegetable garden or talk to me because she’s much too busy doing it with a guy that looks kinda like me, but richer.” Tommy stops jogging and looks like her had the wind knocked out of him as he digested what he just said and finally realized the implication.
Dawn (offering a comforting shoulder) : “Oh no, Tommy. Don’t be sad. My dad also neglects me for out-of-left-field sex partners.”
Tommy: “Oh, Dawn!” (They proceed to make out.)
Tabby Lavalamp
May 31st, 2026 at 8:07 am Reply
Uh oh. Asking “How ’bout you, Dawn? How’re you doin’ nowadays?” to the daughter of Wilbur Weston in a sure-fire way to careen off the road to recovery.
MKay
May 31st, 2026 at 5:20 am Reply
MW: “Me? Oh, I’ve just been lurking behind shrubbery and passing judgment, while contributing absolutely nothing to the world. Same old.”
BLONDIE: There’s manly, and then there’s Dagwood-manly. There’s no way that shampoo doesn’t reek of deli meats.
Baja Gaijin
May 31st, 2026 at 5:15 am Reply
Blondie: Daggy chose Manly-Man Shampoo™ in the Sweaty Gym Sock scent. It gets Blondie off.
Ukulele Ike
May 31st, 2026 at 7:31 am Reply
Blondie: I hope Dag took a bar of Irish Spring in there. Can’t have his armpits smelling like a bunch of violets while his hair smells like bacon.
matt w
May 31st, 2026 at 5:42 am Reply
The threat to Dagwood’s masculinity isn’t so much the Dean Martin songs as the “slutty French maid costume” bathrobe.
Liam
May 31st, 2026 at 5:02 am Reply
FC-“Who posted pictures of me on the Internet,” Thel asks.
I speak Jive
May 31st, 2026 at 7:47 am Reply
FC – We know that it wasn’t the postman who rang the doorbell. He always rings twice.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
May 31st, 2026 at 5:55 am Reply
DtM: Funny that the artist includes a bit of Alice’s legs in the shot to show that she too isn’t riding on someone’s shoulders. Thereby removing the one interesting thought one might have about today’s comic.
cheech wizard
May 31st, 2026 at 6:31 am Reply
DtM – What Dennis doesn’t know is that Henry is already planning to play submarine later that night when he gives her a torpedo amidships.
Maltmash3r
May 31st, 2026 at 7:01 am Reply
Dtm- careful Henry that Dennis doesn’t drop a depth charge whiles he’s on your shoulders.
Tabby Lavalamp
May 31st, 2026 at 8:07 am Reply
The Mitchells are a modern suburban family, so the big city is already a terrifying place full of danger and shadowy ne’er-do-wells to them (the visual metaphor in this strip is a little too on the nose, if you ask me). If you lose sight of your wife for a second, there’s a good chance she’s already been trafficked or invited to join a hippy commune. Also, Henry and Alice don’t have cell phones for some reason.
BigTed
May 31st, 2026 at 7:44 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: You know what would really help in a situation like this? Cell phones — the kind that all adults have with them all the time, and which make it really easy to find someone even when they’re out of your direct line of sight. Of course, given Henry’s “city living” outfit of a striped sweater-vest over a bold green shirt with a popped collar, this whole scenario might be taking place around 1983 — in which case, his brick-like portable phone device would be far too large for him to keep in his pocket on a trip downtown.
ValdVin
May 31st, 2026 at 6:45 am Reply
H&L: “You want to be Thirsty Thurston? Keep
gamblingplaying predictive markets on your phone while you’re drunk.” is the warning a lot of people need to hear.matt w
June 1st, 2026 at 4:59 am Reply
Judge Parker’s burger-eating technique leaves much to be desired. His jaw is at maximum extension with the burger several inches away, he’s going to chomp down on unsatisfying air.
Baja Gaijin
June 1st, 2026 at 5:05 am Reply
Judge Parker: I’m worried about that burger. It seems to be fading out of existence, much like Marty McFly in the first “Back to the Future” movie. My guess is someone went back in time then accidentally prevented the steer’s cow mother and bull father from making it to the “Udder the Sea” ball for their first kiss and subsequent boinking to create the calf that grew up to become that burger.
The Quiet Man
June 1st, 2026 at 5:15 am Reply
JP: The Judge must have caught the enschlubification disease that infected MW and RMMD. Look at him about to take a big, sloppy bite of that burger! You know he’s going to be making all sorts of disgusting chewing sounds, preventing him from hearing a word Ann is saying. If he turns around and asks for mayo, it’s all over.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
June 1st, 2026 at 5:32 am Reply
Judge Parker: RIP Alan Parker ? – June 1, 2026. Beloved jurist, ex-con, dud father. Cause of death: blunt-force Wilburization.
Peanut Gallery
June 1st, 2026 at 7:14 am Reply
JP – Needs a “NOM NOM NOM” sound effect.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
CanuckDownSouth
June 1st, 2026 at 5:00 am Reply
RMMD “… then the new super-friends vowed to save the world with their powers of bryl-creem application, hot coffee-pouring and hash-slinging. They high-five. Annnd… credits!”
MKay
June 1st, 2026 at 4:53 am Reply
RMMD: Having actually learned about capitalism, Doug has embraced it wholeheartedly. Workers of the world, prepare to be exploited!
MW: Worst possible outcome of all this? Dawn decides to major in counseling. Bright spot? If Dawn ever manages to finish college, she’ll be 95 and too feeble to do much damage.
Ukranazi Stepan
June 1st, 2026 at 4:56 am Reply
Wary Morth:
What kind of dummy? A clothes dummy? A crash test dummy? An American “football” tackling dummy? Any of those is more useful than the entire Mary Worth cast put together.
Ken
June 1st, 2026 at 5:37 am Reply
MW: Boy, Dawn’s exercise program has really paid off. Just this morning she was telling Wilbur she needed to get in better shape, and now she’s effortlessly delivering whole paragraphs of dialog while running on a mountain trail.
Hibbleton
June 1st, 2026 at 6:12 am Reply
MW: In retrospect, Dawn realizes she picked the wrong day to wear her “I’m with stupid” T-shirt.
TheDiva
June 1st, 2026 at 6:23 am Reply
MW: Come now, Tommy, you’re not a dummy for not pursuing higher education! There’s a wide range of socially essential jobs that don’t require a college degree, many of which pay well and are less likely to be turned over to automation in the near future. You’re a dummy because you’re just plain stupid.
Maltmash3r
June 1st, 2026 at 9:40 am Reply
MW- Dawn is showing some self control when she mentions school and not all the guys she slept with.
Just John
June 1st, 2026 at 9:42 am Reply
MW: Words in boldface:
Well! Enjoying you?
Clerk. Quit school, dummy!
Hey!
Dawn’s attempt at flirting does not go well.
BigTed
June 1st, 2026 at 10:08 am Reply
Mary Worth: You know what most normal college students do over the summer these days? They get a job, take on an internship, do something that could improve their prospects of post-college financial success. They don’t just spend three months “enjoying time off.” You can still flirt with hunks while doing something productive, Dawn! Heck, why not try filling up grocery bags over at Freda’s? It worked for Tommy’s last girlfriend — turns out most guys don’t care what a woman does for a living, as long as she’s (sort of, kinda, in the right light) cute.
Banana Jr. 6000
June 1st, 2026 at 5:21 am Reply
Crankshaft plot twist: the pictures are of Dead Lisa.
ValdVin
June 1st, 2026 at 7:11 am Reply
Crankshaft: “I came across some photos you might want to have, Lillian. It’ll cost you, but it’ll cost you more otherwise.”
I speak Jive
June 1st, 2026 at 7:45 am Reply
Crankshaft – Oh, goodie! Lots of photos of the sister whose life Loathsome Lillian ruined.
A recap: Eugene sent Lucille a letter proposing marriage and also that if she didn’t respond, he would never bother her again. Loathsome Lillian intercepted the letter, and Lucille never saw it. Despite living in the same area and presumably knowing that the other never married, Eugene and Lucille never had any contact until she was old and had Alzheimer’s disease.
This isn’t poignant and moving. It’s stupid. It’s situation tragedy, which Batiuk seems to think is called writing.
Horace Broon
June 1st, 2026 at 10:09 am Reply
Crank: Congratulations, self-congratulatory narrative box, for getting me to hate this before I even registered it was a Lillian and Eugene story!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Ken
June 2nd, 2026 at 4:49 am Reply
MW: At this rate, Dawn will have solved all of Tommy’s problems by they time they get back from their run, and Mary won’t have to get involved at all. I’m sure Mary will still take a victory lap — “I could see Tommy was troubled, so I put him to work in the vegetable garden” — but the truth will rankle.
Ukranazi Stepan
June 2nd, 2026 at 4:55 am Reply
Wary Morth:
Don’t these two need their breath to run, or does spewing platitudes substitute for oxygen?
Asenath
June 2nd, 2026 at 5:12 am Reply
Mary Worth: The true value of people lies in the measure of their ability to express genuine gratitude toward Mary Worth.
Crankshaft: Worse than a home or prison, or even a home in prison: Big Band Guy must go to the cancer ward…
Hibbleton
June 2nd, 2026 at 4:39 am Reply
CS: OTOH, you’d be surprised what they can stuff into a coffin these days.
Vulpes
June 2nd, 2026 at 4:52 am Reply
Crankshaft:
That’s not a particularly large box, so the only logical place Bowler McBowtie could be moving to that wouldn’t have space for it is a coffin. He’s dying!
Banana Jr. 6000
June 2nd, 2026 at 4:51 am Reply
CS: This better not be going where I think it’s going: to yet another Lillian redemption story.
Rusty
June 2nd, 2026 at 4:51 am Reply
CS: Is this a Good Humor man?
Banana Jr. 6000
June 2nd, 2026 at 5:41 am Reply
Where the hell is Eugene moving that he doesn’t have room for a tiny box of photographs? A studio apartment in Hong Kong? A hamster cage? One of those Russian prison cells where all you can do is stand? It’s not Bedside Manor: thanks to Harry Dinkle, they have a Big Ten-level band program. Eugene’s box contains what appears to be sheet music written by a “Dinkle”, so there’s your angle for getting him to admit you.
Liam
June 2nd, 2026 at 6:09 am Reply
Crankshaft-“They’re shipping me off to a single panel comic.”
FC-“I’ll take a shower but only if it’s golden.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Lauralot
June 2nd, 2026 at 5:49 am Reply
Pickles: I read a book once wherein a man was accused of a crime, and what convinced his girlfriend of his innocence was that said crime occurred while Jeopardy was on, and he never, ever, ever missed Jeopardy. I doubt that’s where we’re headed here, but it would be funny if it were. “Yes, officer, those are my knitting needles in the deceased’s back, but I was watching my shows!”
GT: I guess Gil and Luke are supposed to be Linus and Charlie Brown now? Good grief.
TheDiva
June 2nd, 2026 at 5:56 am Reply
GT: Charlie Brown and Linus did NOT age well.
Charterstone: Dune
June 2nd, 2026 at 5:59 am Reply
@TheDiva re GT: Now I really want to see Gil in a zig-zag shirt saying ‘Good grief!” after getting his socks knocked off by a line drive.
Bob Tice
June 3rd, 2026 at 4:42 am Reply
MW:
“Dawn…I’m not like most other guys! For starters, I have an extensive criminal record and a history of use of controlled substances!”
matt w
June 3rd, 2026 at 4:43 am Reply
Dawn and Tommy are already like an old married couple! Specifically the Bumsteads, who also hold conversations while their backs are to each other at ninety degree angles.
Ukranazi Stepan
June 3rd, 2026 at 4:44 am Reply
Wary Morth:
Tommy’s right; other guys have more sense than to associate with Dusk, or for that matter anyone else from Charterstone.
nescio
June 3rd, 2026 at 4:55 am Reply
MW: Were it not for yogurt, Tommy and the Westons would have no culture at all.
Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
June 3rd, 2026 at 4:57 am Reply
Today’s Mary Worth makes a lot more sense if you realize Tommy is taking a piss : why else would someone blurt out ” FroYo? That’s cool. I’m in!” unless they were surprised in a moment when they’ thought they were alone?
Emily Riposte
June 3rd, 2026 at 5:03 am Reply
Ok, there is actually something in the chutzpah of seeing a hit tv show’s joke about how uncool frozen yogurt is and just going ‘fro-yo, that’s cool’.
MKay
June 3rd, 2026 at 5:13 am Reply
MW: When someone pulls out the tired, “I am NOT like other guys!” (I’ll throw women in there, too) it’s usually:
a. A big fat lie
b. Referring to something WAY more interesting than yogurt, fro or no.
Tabby Lavalamp
June 3rd, 2026 at 5:53 am Reply
Huh. Men, I’m sorry that society is pressuring you into not being able to enjoy a delicious yogurt. Perhaps it’s time to start selling it in tactical packaging with manly flavours like beer and beef.
Liam
June 3rd, 2026 at 6:00 am Reply
MW-I figured Dawn would be into chocolate soft serve.
TK
June 3rd, 2026 at 6:11 am Reply
Fro-yo sounds great Dawn. Just give me a second to relieve myself against this rock here. There, that’s better. Hope you enjoyed that sneak preview. As I was saying, I’m not like most guys.
Peanut Gallery
June 3rd, 2026 at 6:31 am Reply
MW – All my life I’ve been searching for the perfect pickup line, and I’ve finally found it. Put your hands on your hips and jauntily bellow, “Hey, I’m in the mood for some frozen yogurt!“
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Guts Dozier
June 3rd, 2026 at 5:06 am Reply
Shoe: And as the wide perspective helpfully reminds us, these trees have no plumbing. “Down the drain” means “fucking wherever.”
Voshkod
June 3rd, 2026 at 5:57 am Reply
“But I thought my assets were all in guano, which is, you know, sort of solid, sort of liquid? I’ve been hoarding it in my house, waiting for the day an American schooner would come along and claim it!”
“Damn it, I told you the Americans haven’t made a claim under the Guano Islands Act since 1997, and even that was overturned. Why didn’t you invest in crypto like I recommended?”
“Well, there’s shit, and then there’s shit.”
But What Do I Know?
June 3rd, 2026 at 6:01 am Reply
Shoe! — Really, you can’t work “nest egg” into a financial planning consultation involving birds?
pugfuggly
June 4th, 2026 at 4:37 am Reply
RMMD “I could get the light fixed, for example. God its dark in here…”
Comically Challenged
June 4th, 2026 at 5:29 am Reply
RMMD: Soon, the dingy mid-century chic will be replaced by hanging Edison lights, exposed brick, and faux ghost signs and a egg and toast plate will cost $27.00 Plenty of micro-brews on tap, too.
Tabby Lavalamp
June 4th, 2026 at 5:09 am Reply
Look at Doug’s face. That is the look of someone who was about to torch the place for the insurance money and now it looks like he’s stuck here.
Where’s Rocky?
June 4th, 2026 at 7:14 am Reply
Doug out here turning the Glenwood Hotel into a ‘Hollywood Elegance in my Roots Country Hotspot’ vibe? Bro, this is just the gentrification of Nashville happening in comic strip form. Next thing you know, the Glenwood will have $18 craft cocktails named after obscure Hank Williams B-sides, Edison bulbs hanging from reclaimed barn wood, and a pop-up ‘authentic’ hot chicken stand run by a guy from LA who discovered buttermilk last year.
ValdVin
June 4th, 2026 at 8:11 am Reply
RMMD: “The Glenwood Hotel: We take the Care out of Careworn!”
GarrisonSkunk
June 4th, 2026 at 6:16 am Reply
Sex Organ V.D. : “Do you guys have a Glenwood Valley P.T.A.? Mud and I are writing a song.”
The Quiet Man
June 4th, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
RMMD: ‘Maybe we’ll finally be able to bribe the health inspector to upgrade our rating!’
MW: So now we know where the Westons go for fuel for their #$%!-eating grins…
CanuckDownSouth
June 4th, 2026 at 5:29 am Reply
MW I suppose Tommy could be mostly done with his cone, but I prefer to think the server took one look at his smarmy face and shortchanged him as much as humanly possible.
Ken
June 4th, 2026 at 5:31 am Reply
MW: As I predicted yesterday: Tommy and Dawn, sitting at a table holding spoons awkwardly and exchanging platitudes. OK, Tommy’s holding a cone awkwardly and Dawn’s monologuing the platitudes, but close enough.
For my next psychic prediction: The frame pulls back to show Mary sitting in a nearby booth. Her face twists with rage as she realizes Dawn is meddling Tommy, and using her techniques to boot. The interloper must be driven from her territory.
Charterstone: Dune
June 4th, 2026 at 5:32 am Reply
MW: Moy really ruined Tommy’s “No thoughts, only fro-yo” vibe today by adding thoughts.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Anonymous
June 4th, 2026 at 5:30 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: Why is George Wilson drinking from this hilariously small cup as he says he’s trying to forget Dennis exists? Is it a shot glass? Was he sitting there with a shot glass of whiskey just waiting for the opportunity to drink?
Banana Jr. 6000
June 4th, 2026 at 6:10 am Reply
CS: Calling it now: Eugene will take at least two weeks to tell us he has cancer.
TheDiva
June 4th, 2026 at 6:36 am Reply
C’shaft: You were not living in the good old days, Eugene. Jim Crow was rampant. Women couldn’t open their own bank accounts. Japanese citizens were being rounded up and sent to camps, and Chinese immigrants still couldn’t become citizens. The entire fucking world was at war. You just think it was the good old days because you had the privilege and financial liberty to do a tepid two-step with a girl who looked like an old maid at seventeen before being shipped off to your cushy far-from-the-front-lines assignment. Now go to your ten-by-ten assisted living room, shut the door behind you, and never, ever come out again.
Hibbleton
June 4th, 2026 at 6:00 am Reply
H&L: Both Ditto and Dog are mad at new kid for his condescending manner. “You wouldn’t think I was so good if I started humping your leg.” Thinks dog. “Or maybe you would, pervert.”
Austria
June 4th, 2026 at 7:48 am Reply
I…huh? Is there a joke in today’s H&L? Is there even an ATTEMPT at a joke? I’m not finding one.
GarrisonSkunk
June 4th, 2026 at 6:21 am Reply
Does it disturb anyone else that even Dawg resembles Thursty?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Lauralot
June 5th, 2026 at 4:34 am Reply
Pickles: Judging by his T-shirt, the grandson is trying to become Charlie Brown. He’s started off on the right foot by placing himself in an immensely depressing conversation, but he hasn’t mastered the aggrieved expression or the phrase “Good grief!” Also, he doesn’t understand that the adults should be unintelligible.
Pozzo
June 5th, 2026 at 4:36 am Reply
Pickles: Why do I get the feeling he’s eating Soylent Green?
Victor Von
June 5th, 2026 at 5:35 am Reply
Pickles: “It doesn’t matter what I’m eating; we’re all dying, piece by piece.”
So glad the comics are there to provide humor and whimsy. I’m ready to start my day!
Hibbleton
June 5th, 2026 at 4:40 am Reply
H&L: Lois realizes for the first time that when Hi asked her to spread suntan oil on his body when they met as teenagers, it wasn’t just to prevent sunburn.
Dennis Jimenez
June 5th, 2026 at 5:05 am Reply
H&L – Be sure to take special care to avoid a sunburned dick!
Tabby Lavalamp
June 5th, 2026 at 4:58 am Reply
I’m less disturbed by the curiosity of how a horny teenage boy is going to hide his boner when he’s being slathered with sunscreen on the beach by a pretty girl than I am at how friggin’ huge Chip’s feet are.
Ken
June 5th, 2026 at 5:17 am Reply
MW: Dawn has been raised in the Charterstone Skinner box. Years of exposure to Mary have her using platitudes for everything, including flirting.
CanuckDownSouth
June 5th, 2026 at 5:27 am Reply
MW The platitudes are so bland that I can only conclude that Dawn is watching Tommy’s licking technique and saying he’s doing “pretty well” with that ice cream cone in the hopes that means he can *ahem* do the same to her
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. GarrisonSkunk
May 30th, 2026 at 10:31 am Reply
Pluggers hail Cosmo Kramer for inventing the reverse peephole.
(Prelude to 69) Peanut Gallery
May 31st, 2026 at 7:56 am Reply
MW – Heh heh. He said “self-abuse.” Tommy’s been reading Science Fact for the Immature.
69. Peanut Gallery
May 31st, 2026 at 7:58 am Reply
MW – Heh heh. He said “self-abuse.” Tommy’s been reading Science Facts for the Immature. (It’s serendipity that I nabbed the #69 spot by correcting a typo.)
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Guillermo el chiclero
June 1st, 2026 at 7:22 am Reply
Pluggers: Pluggers are fat, out of shape meatsacks # 6,935.
69. Professor Well Actually
June 2nd, 2026 at 7:21 am Reply
RMMD: write a fucking book Mae Mae.
Thanks, Scratchy.
Congrats to all and thank you, Josh and Scratchy!
Congrats all!! ^^
Thanks Scratchy!
Thanks, Josh and Scratchy! And Baja, we all hope you get out of
prisonthe float shop soon.Now, who’s in the mood for some frozen yogurt?
Kudos to the fuggliest of pugs, thanks to our host, kudos to all named, and I appreciate the scrotes from Scratchy. Baja, we’ll wait til next week–no harm done.
Thank you, Scratchy!
And, Baja, if by chance you’re victim to a vicious virus, then we’re comrades in crud this week
@Peanut Gallery: Most guys aren’t into yogurt. I’m
appalledsurprised you are.Thank you, Scratchy!