Metapost: CYBERHACKING comments of the week
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Folks, your comment of the week in a moment, but first … if you are a paid subscriber to the site, you might be seeing some emails asking your to reset your password that you didn’t initiate. It seems some bots are knocking on the door to the site by initiating password resets. There’s nothing they can really do that would be bad, and I’m trying to figure out how to stop the annoyance, but in the meantime don’t click on anything in those emails, is my advice, but do send me a note if you get one for my information.
ANYWAY, with that high-tech info out of the way, here’s this week’s comment of the week!
“Hi spent the day trying to hang himself with his tie, so he’s probably not up for Date Night.” –MKay
And the very funny runners up!
“A different comic strip might’ve taken this idea and did something kind of fun with it, like show old versions of the character or show a similar character from another comic strip. Maybe time it to run on an anniversary and have some tongue-in-cheek joke about, ‘Boy, wouldn’t it be crazy if I looked like that!’ The Blondie creative team decided to make everyone deeply uncomfortable and unsettled instead. On the upside, this might drive some traffic to my Dagwood-themed DeviantArt page.” –ComicallyChallenged
“The third ‘AI’ image of Dagwood clearly shows the Mark of the Beast. Only the computer can see the true depths of his evil, the unlimited sin of gluttony.” –Voshkod
“Don’t worry, Toby, these unfaithful hybrids of bird and man will get what’s coming to them — parrots aren’t adapted to long-distance flight like, say, albatrosses, so their attempt to fly to Maui will undoubtedly end with them falling into the ocean and drowning due to exhaustion.” –Vulpes
“Nobody wants Dagwood to get plastic surgery — and the chewing gum that’s supposed to make your jawline sharper doesn’t really work. But that hair? You know you can just go to a slightly better barber and get a better haircut, right, Dagwood? You really don’t have to live that way!” –BigTed
“It’s a board game. They use electrified tweezers and if they touch the sides, his nose lights up. Hilarity ensues. Seriously, it’s been around for over fifty years and you haven’t heard about it?” –Where’s Rocky.
“Apparently Hi is low enough on the corporate ladder that Foofram only checks in on him at 2 P.M.” –Maltmash3r
“I have questions: (1) Is murder illegal in Norway? (2) Does killing an arms dealer count as murder in Norway? (3) Norway has a huge arms industry. Were the murdered arms dealers permitted by Norway to deal arms, i.e., were they legitimate businessmen or ‘legitimate businessmen’? (4) Does Norway recognize varying degrees of homicide based on the criminal status of the victim, i.e., does Norway excuse vigilantism? (5) If so, is the criminal status of the victim determined before or after the murder? (6) Does murdering arms dealers violate the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977? (7) With a population of 5.6 million and murder rate of 0.72 per 100,000 people as of 2023, is there a clinically depressed detective inspector in currently investigating an anomalous spike in murders over the past few months? (8) What are the diplomatic and legal implications if the United States, knowing who the murderer is, refuses to extradite the murderer per its treaty with Norway? Asking for a legal-themed newspaper comic strip that might want to just shift focus back to traffic scofflaws.” –Charterstone: Dune
“Mother Goose, who knows that her dogs are incipient fascists and also pets who cannot legally make purchases, has wisely set up a backwards treadmill so they can’t progress past the beige rectangle.” –matt w
“Nothing can save the ‘joke’ in today’s Mother Goose and Grimm, but it helps that Grimm himself looks horrified across both panels at the words coming out of his mouth. Perhaps, like Nikki in Obsession, on some level this dog realizes that the thoughts that dictate his behavior are not actually his own. Grimm, indeed!” –Kevyn on Video
“Come up with a passable pun on ‘fascism’ or ‘dictator’ but find Hitler is too charged a name to use as a setup for anodyne wordplay? Well that’s where Mussolini comes in! Mussolini: real bad guy, slightly less famous for it!” –BananaSam
“Ms. Blips did not sign up for making coffee! She signed up for war crimes! And healthcare! But mostly war crimes!” –Ettorre
“Women, amirite? Always wanting to spend time with you, enjoying a tasty meal in a pleasant atmosphere, when all you really want is the sweet release of alcohol and/or death! Hi and Lois, the comic about bipolar disorder, delivers another rueful chuckle and/or primal scream of bone-deep suffering. It’s funny because we each live in a hell of our own making!” –a.
“I could confront Ian, but that would be too rational. It’s better I look ‘strong’ and ‘independent’ by sitting passively by until I’m overcome with doubt and worry. Yes, that plan just makes too much sense!” –2+2=7
“‘Its just high school sports, why would I get emotionally invested in that?’ Good question Gil Thorp, very good question.” –pugfuggly
“Jughaid is getting too big for his britches, and Loweezy has two options to rein him back into reality: deliver a lecture on the environmental impact of the many rockets now used for smaller, routine missions to guilt him out of his dream, or try to build a soundstage of the moon in an old barn. Some nonzero percentage of Hootin’ Holler probably see the moon landing as being staged, so she could get some help setting it up, as long as it’s for a practical joke on Jughaid.” –InvasionOfTheZIM
“Gertie was very disappointed to learn that Carson isn’t called that because he’s literally the son of a car. Turns out it’s biologically impossible for a motor vehicle to impregnate you, and that’s why Gertie doesn’t have children.” –Schroduck
“He wants a trip to the moon but we can only afford a $460,000 ticket on a non-orbital flight from Virgin Galactic. It sucks being poor.” –Hibbleton
“Mr. Weatherbee was right to purchase the combination spring-loaded toupee-and-tie combo for those times when he has to react to Archie’s hilarious shenanigans. Sure, he could have also sprung for the wacky ‘leaping pince-nez,’ but that would have been putting a hat on a hat, you know? Sometimes you have to know when less is more.” –Chance
“I would have been wary of moving into an apartment with an unlockable swing door, but maybe that’s just me. I’m wacky that way.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“I’ve been reading this blog for many years, which means I’ve also been getting occasional updates on Luann for many years. Theoretically, I should know who most of the main characters are and how they live. But I don’t. I just don’t. For instance, I have no idea who or what ‘Tara’ is in this context. Is the dark-haired guy with glasses housesitting for actress Tara Reid? Or are they all somehow living in the famous, fictional Tara plantation from Gone With the Wind?” –Joe Blevins
“Jughead is wisely displaying a mati, the Greek talisman against misfortune and the evil eye, in order to prevent Moose’s baleful gaze from falling upon him. Sadly Archie has taken no such precautions.” –TheDiva
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17 replies to “Metapost: CYBERHACKING comments of the week”
Way to go, MKay, and the Floaters, Shadowers, and Scroters:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
lynn
October 4th, 2026 at 5:22 am Reply
Yo, Josh, you got called out by Ziggy right in the first panel.
Hibbleton
October 4th, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
Marvin: Toddlers playing soccer sounds even dumber than the Puppy Bowl with even more shitting on the playing field.
Rosstifer
October 4th, 2026 at 6:58 am Reply
There’s a lot of story in-between the lines of this Marvin; we know his parents hate their horrible shit baby so much that they actively chose a daycare that just plonks babies down on a stool and then leaves them unattended, we know that we will never see this horrible freak football baby ever again, and we know that this daycare has so far failed to kill Marvin, much to his parents’ chagrin.
els
October 4th, 2026 at 9:20 am Reply
I absolutely promise this is true– at first I read “shitting on the bench,” and while momentarily startled at its inclusion on a comics page, my first thought was “Well, it’s Marvin, so yeah, that tracks.”
Group Captain Lionel Mandrake
October 4th, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
“You look like that famous Norway soccer star.”
Far be it from a mere mortal like me to dare question the high-powered, lavishly compensated creative team behind one of America’s most beloved comic strips, but shouldn’t that be “Norwegian soccer star?”
Bob Tice
October 4th, 2026 at 4:40 am Reply
@Group Captain Lionel Mandrake:
Isn’t it good,
Norway wood?
— John Lennon and The Beatles (adapted)
Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis)
October 4th, 2026 at 10:27 am Reply
Marvin: He drove his Ford to the fjord but the fjord was dry.
BigTed
October 4th, 2026 at 4:38 am Reply
Marvin: I wouldn’t be surprised if both of these toddlers were surprisingly athletic — it takes a lot of core strength to sit on a backless stool like that without falling over.
CanuckDownSouth
October 4th, 2026 at 4:42 am Reply
Luann Brad fell because a step stool was unbalanced beneath a well-balanced fan. Either I’m missing something _really_ obvious or the Evansii learned the meaning of “ironic” from the Alanis Morrissette song
TheDiva
October 4th, 2026 at 7:42 am Reply
Luann: Luann is attempting a form of situational irony, in which events happen contrary to expectations–in this case, a firefighter who presumably is very good at climbing ladders falling off a step stool. It ends up being a form of dramatic irony, in which the audience is aware of information the characters do not have–in this case, the fact that Brad is an absolute idiot who can not be trusted with his own health and safety, much less anyone else’s.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Everything Is Better With Monkeys
October 4th, 2026 at 5:11 am Reply
MW – Oh no! Once they start with Toby and her birds, they have trouble moving on to anything else. We could be in for a post-Christmas resolution to this arc.
RMMD – Will MaeMud (trying that out) encounter more secondary characters on their way to Old Town? Will they exchange mind-numbingly banal conversation and then leave MaeMud behind to follow the new characters? It’s like that classic “22 Short Films About Springfield” episode, only terrible.
I speak Jive
October 4th, 2026 at 8:27 am Reply
Rex Morgan – Wait a minute – Glenwood has an Old Town? Cities in Europe have Old Towns which are charming places with narrow cobblestone alleys and market squares. I’m trying to imagine what Glenwood’s is like, and all I can imagine is hitching posts and saloons with the sounds of roots country. Whatever it is, it will be boring.
MKay
October 4th, 2026 at 5:33 am Reply
RMMD: Thanks so much for that visual. I didn’t know what a cruise ship was.
DtM: Well, SOMEONE flunked Figure Drawing today. The ta-ta’s are higher up, dude, even on old ladies!
Peanut Gallery
October 4th, 2026 at 10:08 am Reply
Dennis – Sheesh, Dennis, when Mr. Wilson said “I’ll pass,” that was a yes. Even if you are a little kid, you should still know more about football than I do.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
CanuckDownSouth
October 5th, 2026 at 4:30 am Reply
Luann I suppose a speech class _could_ have benefits for someone preparing to be a teacher, but somehow I don’t think Toastmasters For Credit is what colleges offer.
RMMD Wow – this holodeck really can manifest anything. Let’s go back to Blank Void mode and try it again. This time, uhhh… I want a candy factory! No, no, a doggy daycare filled with adorable puppies!
TheDiva
October 5th, 2026 at 5:07 am Reply
RMMD: It was nice of the out-of-business movie theater to keep up those old 70s-era posters for decades for maximum nostalgia/depression. And also that nobody bought it in the intervening years to turn it into a porno house or a church.
Maltmash3r
October 5th, 2026 at 6:26 am Reply
RMMD- so, if Mae Mae is going to run the theater, does this mean she leaves the restaurant? That closes down again, so there’s no need to go to town, and no need to see a movie- Brilliant.
The Quiet Man
October 5th, 2026 at 6:21 am Reply
RMMD: At first I thought the poster was for ‘The Great Escape’ but there appear to be four words in the title. It definitely looks like one of those ‘all-star’ epic productions from the mid-to-late 60s.
I’ll admit, I think it’s very sad that so many small theaters have either been demolished or are slowly rotting into oblivion (I’ve come across several). They’re just another ‘third space’ that has been lost that helped us realize as communities that we’re not so different as certain Mollusks want us to we think we are. I think we’ve talked previously here about my wish that older movies could be rediscovered as just as entertaining as whatever is getting cranked out today.
GarrisonSkunk
October 5th, 2026 at 7:30 am Reply
Sex Organ V.D.: “Plus, Fungus, there’s a solid gold toilet, and guess whose name is written on it in genuine rhinestones?” “Mine, Me!,Me!? Mine?” “You guessed you little dickens!”
A Grave Mind
October 5th, 2026 at 4:28 am Reply
The nouns Mud says come into being! Theatre! Bam! Rex doing something! Uhhhhh….well, he has limits.
The important thing is, Chinamen had a horrible day making your pills for 30 cents a day. Christ, Crankshaft, can you find joy in NOTHING?
Ettorre
October 5th, 2026 at 5:02 am Reply
“Drug city” is much less fun than you would expect
Emily Riposte
October 5th, 2026 at 5:14 am Reply
Honestly, Drug City had better source its shit from Colombia, or I’m calling out the FTC for a truth-in-advertising claim.
harmless little bunny
October 5th, 2026 at 5:24 am Reply
Crank: Given that the scene obviously takes place in a pharmacy, the second panel that takes us outside to tell us Ed is shopping at “Drug City”, I believe this is an allegory (satire?) for the fentanyl crisis.
nescio
October 5th, 2026 at 5:04 am Reply
Sorry, Mr. Pharmacist, Crankshaft was still alive by the time you filled the prescription. Next time, take longer.
The Rambling Otter
October 5th, 2026 at 6:02 am Reply
Crankshaft: There was a running gag years ago, where Crankshaft would take his medication while in the kitchen, but he would keep dropping the pills and they would roll under the fridge.
I’m still waiting for a payoff, where one day they move the fridge and find a massive cache of pills under it.
But even then, probably no-one would get the joke because that gag was so long ago, so it would be just a random unfunny mishmash. So in other words, just another Crankshaft comic.
Liam
October 5th, 2026 at 7:26 am Reply
Crankshaft-It’s like I always say if you are going to steal story ideas from other comics always steal from the worst comics.
I speak Jive
October 5th, 2026 at 7:37 am Reply
Crankshaft – Yeah, the pharmacist has been moseying around, taking his sweet time to fill Ed’s prescription. He should take a hint from restaurant workers and spit in the prescription bottle.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
pugfuggly
October 5th, 2026 at 4:53 am Reply
DtM: I like how the text is shifted well to the left, as if there was a profanity-laced response from Alice that had to be censored at the last minute.
Papal Nuncio
October 5th, 2026 at 6:09 am Reply
I prefer to think that Dennis’s true burn is that the new “recipe” is just a piece of ham, with a side of peas and mashed (?) potatoes.
Lauralot
October 5th, 2026 at 5:13 am Reply
MW: In dreams, we are far more perceptive than in our waking lives. Dream Toby knew that the gossip started with Nelly and Alma because Nelly, offscreen, has gained a reputation over the years for spreading malicious rumors. Toby’s subconscious is deeply observant. That’s definitely why we’re getting this strip, and it’s totally not because Brigman went on vacation and they’re recycling panels.
treetown
October 5th, 2026 at 5:25 am Reply
GT: The “2nd” is for the second quarter. It is NOT the second half. There is plenty of game left. I mention this because it seems the writer and artist think American HS football is played in halves. Was that a goal line jump or pop pass? Pulling a play out of Amos Alonzo Staggs’s playbook?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
A. Mulyak
October 5th, 2026 at 6:30 am Reply
Lifting a gag from the Leslie Nielsen series “Police Squad,” Dick Tracy introduces “special guest star” Skeezix from Gasoline Alley and kills him off in the first scene.
Voshkod
October 5th, 2026 at 6:13 am Reply
“What do you think killed him, Tracy?”
“Jazz hands. Round up the local community theaters.”
Shoe Substitutes
October 5th, 2026 at 6:40 am Reply
The moral of the story in Dick Tracy: It’s a bad idea to try and make your swastika dance go viral; it’s a terrible idea to do it at the top of a flight of stairs.
MKay
October 6th, 2026 at 5:14 am Reply
GT: “Poor, Mimi.” Is that the misuse of a comma, or is Gil grading Mimi on her coaching?
Lauralot
October 6th, 2026 at 5:42 am Reply
GT: Because Gil’s ex hasn’t suffered enough for daring to leave him, now they’re withholding her children because she lost a football game. I’m sure the family judge is going to love that.
CanuckDownSouth
October 6th, 2026 at 5:51 am Reply
@Lauralot: re: GT – the judge probably wrote a points ranking into the visitation agreement. This *is* Milford after all
ComicallyChallenged
October 6th, 2026 at 5:20 am Reply
Pluggers: A damning indictment of the cost of living for those on a fixed income that’ll probably end up on someone’s refrigerator.
Pozzo
October 6th, 2026 at 5:02 am Reply
Before reading the caption, I assumed the Plugger was about to self-neuter.
nescio
October 6th, 2026 at 5:17 am Reply
Has anyone dialed 911 and requested a wellness check on Ron Douglas of Longmont, CO yet?
Ettorre
October 6th, 2026 at 5:36 am Reply
“How hard can it be?” is also the ad for Pluggers’ favourite pill!
Anonymous
October 6th, 2026 at 3:48 pm Reply
“You’re a Plugger if you’ve attempted your own vasectomy.” Seriously did anyone look at this cartoon and not immediately assume it was about genital mutilation?
Oops, shit, sorry for the old ones. Here are the current ones:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
CanuckDownSouth
October 10th, 2026 at 5:14 am Reply
GT “I want to be the _best_ football player” “And _Goshen_ is the place to accomplish that? Where they use a different field length, smaller ball, and tactics that are strongly shifted by having a different number of downs to play??” “You realize this comic strip was _not_ made to challenge the ‘dumb jock’ stereotype, right?”
MKay
October 10th, 2026 at 5:28 am Reply
GT: Isn’t there some art thing where you learn to draw people so they don’t all look the same age? God forbid they should add a baby to the storyline.
Ukulele Ike
October 10th, 2026 at 7:48 am Reply
GT: I bet the chartreuse hoodie really impresses the chicks. And when he’s not footballing, it seems Borys is into the rock n’ roll music, punctuation, and scary ghosts.
Horace Broon
October 10th, 2026 at 9:52 am Reply
MW: I read this slightly diferently, I think — I thought dream-Dawn was talking about how gross the rumourmongering was. “Of course my friends the Westons wouldn’t be party to this!” Toby thinks, entirely wrongly.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 10th, 2026 at 11:24 am Reply
GT: “You are aware that Goshen is in the general Milford metropolitan area, and that Milford kinda sucks, right? But hey, it’s your life.”
Guillermo el chiclero
October 10th, 2026 at 9:32 am Reply
FC: I dunno, the sight of Thel’s sweater puppies jutting into the room would wake me up pretty quick.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Poteet
October 10th, 2026 at 3:36 pm Reply
LUANN: I hope these two will end up Happy Together and that Luann will then cry until she melts into a puddle of goo, thereby ending the strip. The End.
GarrisonSkunk
October 10th, 2026 at 2:20 pm Reply
Cranky’s Wrath: “Be sure to download the app” “The app? What’s that?” “Its a small computer program that steals your info and ultimately screws up your computer, but thats not important right now.”
Cab
October 10th, 2026 at 1:51 pm Reply
Crankshaft – As much as I would like to make fun of this lame joke about a punitive app, since having to go on the insurance market, my crappy new insurer has sent me unwanted texts chiding me to take my pills because of a small delay in getting a refill caused by a pharmacy computer issue. This is prophecy about our new surveillance state.
nescio
October 11th, 2026 at 4:40 am Reply
MG&G: The look on the Prince’s face says “Your pumpkin isn’t going to smell either of my balls.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Unca Bob
October 11th, 2026 at 8:24 am Reply
Luann-Meh. Not exactly Festivus.
2+2=7
October 11th, 2026 at 5:05 am Reply
MARY WORTH: Ugh, these Birdemic sequels are getting quite silly (this one does have a more plausible romance subplot though.)
MARY WORTH (2): Not since Luann’s controversial moment where Brad and Toni had “Tee-hee waterbaby” time right there on the panel has there been a panel that pushes the boundaries of erotic vulgarity than dream-parrot Ian explaining how “Mary’s muffins taste the best”. It’s like who’da thought the comics page would morph into Penthouse Forum so rapidly.
James
October 11th, 2026 at 7:22 am Reply
Oh great, now I have a mental image of Ian-headed bird eat Mary-head bird’s muffin. Please pass the brain bleach.
TK
October 11th, 2026 at 5:15 am Reply
Toby, it will a red flag when Ian comes home after a long day of professoring and asks for a nice plate of “quality pellets”.
Bob Tice
October 11th, 2026 at 6:39 am Reply
MW:
“Ian dear, let’s flit off to Maui together so that you can rightfully claim your first prize in the ‘Gorton’s Fisherman Lookalike Competition‘ !”
pugfuggly
October 11th, 2026 at 5:40 am Reply
MW Did Toby accidentally suggest that Mary was some kind of harpy? That is Charterstone Thoughtcrime of the highest order!
The Rambling Otter
October 11th, 2026 at 5:43 am Reply
MW: Quoting a known hack/con-artist now? Does Moy even do a background check on the people she lifts these from.
Lauralot
October 11th, 2026 at 7:51 am Reply
MW: You’re telling me we wasted a week on recycled panels when we could have been watching Mary and Ian as rejected Egyptian deity monstrosities this entire time?!
BigTed
October 11th, 2026 at 7:59 am Reply
Mary Worth: I’m not going to say this is the greatest pop art of all time — but if panel 4 were on a T-shirt, I would definitely buy it.
MKay
October 11th, 2026 at 5:16 am Reply
MW: This made me extra-glad I got out of bed this morning.
RMMD: “But, Sugarbritches, I liked it better when you were an anonymous hash slinger and I was the famous one around here!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Ukulele Ike
October 11th, 2026 at 7:23 am Reply
A&J: Needed to read this two or three times. I honestly thought she was waiting for Arlo’s erection to subside.
Jay Fawley
October 11th, 2026 at 9:31 am Reply
Best Family Circus ever.
UncleJeff
October 11th, 2026 at 11:56 am Reply
JP: it’s Pissy Face Sunday!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
October 11th, 2026 at 7:24 am Reply
Shoe:
Did Uncle Bink have any children of his own? Because if not, well, deciding that a gas leak is a good time to try your very first cigar is just natural selection in action.
Majicou
October 11th, 2026 at 7:59 pm Reply
Frazz: So close to realizing/acknowledging that running a marathon is an act of madness. For fuck’s sake, it’s based on the story of a guy who ran that distance and immediately dropped dead.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
TheDiva
October 12th, 2026 at 5:17 am Reply
Dustin: Tomorrow: “Our top story tonight, four dead in grisly murder-suicide…”
Baja Gaijin
October 12th, 2026 at 6:26 am Reply
Hi and Lois: I call shenanigans. They’d leave Trixie in the completely unstimulating empty room all day, developing Baby’s First Melanoma.
Vulpes
October 12th, 2026 at 5:53 am Reply
Hi & Lois:
Notice that Hi displays his diploma in the office of his white-collar corporate drone job. What do you think he got a degree in? It could be a fitting field like business management, but maybe it’s something more idealistic, like liberal arts or the sciences. Do you think every time he looks at it, he dies a little inside from thinking about the death of his dreams?
Victor Von
October 12th, 2026 at 5:53 am Reply
Hi & Lois: Based on the time I spent at my father’s office, at least one kid should be spinning around in a swivel-based office chair. I know that it doesn’t contribute nearly enough chaos to the scene, but it’s the law.
Pozzo
October 12th, 2026 at 5:45 am Reply
“No longer around” preceded by three dots means they’re dead, right? I think every comic should break phrases up like this on a regular basis, just to make you wonder.
“Lois had to…show a house.”
MKay
October 12th, 2026 at 4:46 am Reply
H&L: Foofram still hasn’t processed the concept of working wives.
MW: Toby turns to look at her husband, only to find his place empty, EXCEPT FOR AN EGG ON THE PILLOW.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Ukulele Ike
October 13th, 2026 at 6:22 am Reply
MG&G: “Eat at Mussolini’s — get the runs on time.”
Jack
October 13th, 2026 at 6:24 am Reply
I prefer the Tito Tots at Marshal Tito’s.
JW
October 13th, 2026 at 7:25 am Reply
“Care to discuss bloodline purity over a Stasi Soda?”
BananaSam
October 13th, 2026 at 8:53 am Reply
Come up with a passable pun on ‘fascism’ or ‘dictator’ but find Hitler is too charged a name to use as a setup for anodyne wordplay? Well that’s where Mussolini comes in!
Mussolini: real bad guy, slightly less famous for it!
Buck Ripsnort
October 13th, 2026 at 7:54 am Reply
MG&G: “But are they as good as the ‘dic-tater tots’ at Johnny Wad Holmes-Style?”
Tonio
October 13th, 2026 at 9:51 am Reply
The dish at Mussolini’s was originally Dick Taters, served wth a whole cucumber.
Polo Bear
October 13th, 2026 at 4:35 am Reply
GT. He’s too young to remember the drone strikes that began in (checks wikipedia) 2022?
A Grave Mind
October 13th, 2026 at 4:35 am Reply
Uh, the Russians invaded in 2022. Borys is what, 16? No worries, Borys, NOBODY remembers any drone strikes in Ohio. Except for the one by that damn Jefferson kid. God, what a little dickhead!
Hibbleton
October 13th, 2026 at 5:49 am Reply
GT: Of course he can’t remember drone strikes from 2002. He plays football. He gets hit on the head quite hard.
“What’s two plus two, Borys?”
“Potato?”
Lauralot
October 13th, 2026 at 4:49 am Reply
GT: Maybe we’re judging this strip too harshly. Maybe Borys claiming not to remember the drone strikes that happened in 2022 is a sign that he’s lying about his past rather than ignorance on the author’s part as to when the conflict started. Or maybe this is just stupid.
Charterstone: Dune
October 13th, 2026 at 4:41 am Reply
GT: I really appreciate the scenes of Borys working out for the … microphones?
Guillermo el chiclero
October 13th, 2026 at 8:26 am Reply
GT: Going by the middle panel Borys must’ve also known about Jack Palance’s Oscar acceptance speech.
I crap bigger than Gil Thorp!
Vulpes
October 13th, 2026 at 5:35 am Reply
Gil Thorp:
Look, I may be a furry, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me to believe that the mascot for “Foxy Auto” is an anthropomorphic vixen with huge tits.
Activist
October 13th, 2026 at 9:32 am Reply
CS: nice tool if Ed ever needs to castrate a giraffe or angry bull.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
I speak Jive
October 14th, 2026 at 7:54 am Reply
FC – It’s one of our uncles here to talk to Mommy in her bedroom!
Peanut Gallery
October 14th, 2026 at 2:27 pm Reply
FC – “We shouldn’t have drunk so much from the bottle that said Drink Me. Now we hafta find a cake that says Eat Me.”
2+2=7
October 14th, 2026 at 8:16 am Reply
Hi & Lois: I think that “mom needs attention” is less “She wants a romantic dinner” and more, “mom needs to be plowed like a particularly fertile right at the end of sowing season.” Chip knows what’s up!
BigTed
October 14th, 2026 at 8:40 am Reply
Hi and Lois: If the state of Hi’s necktie is some kind of visual metaphor, Lois’ sexual frustration is extremely understandable.
A. Mulyak
October 14th, 2026 at 10:45 am Reply
Hi and Lois: The comments on Hi’s flaccid necktie recall a gag from the not entirely lamented Dilbert, where a strip showed the title character going on a date, his tie curling upwards at the end as always. In the next day’s strip, whose joke was on another subject, his tie was hanging straight down. Scott Adams may have been a jackass, but that’s the sort of thing that would have inspired outrage if Al Capp had done it in Li’l Abner in 1947, so credit where it’s due.
ectojazzmage
October 14th, 2026 at 9:23 am Reply
Hi And Lois: On yet another end of the newspaper comic art scale, note Lois’ baffling walking in the second panel that makes it look like she’s trying to hold a rod with her anus as she moves and see the horrific perils of using clipart for everything like many newspaper strips do these days.
CanuckDownSouth
October 15th, 2026 at 4:41 am Reply
MW No, no, no – Toby! The question isn’t appetizers vs dessert, a confrontation is paired with either cocktails or dinner wine!
MKay
October 15th, 2026 at 5:03 am Reply
MW: Mary’s cooking for your Date Night, Tobes. So you can make your scene during either the orange blobs course or the muffins.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Vulpes
October 15th, 2026 at 4:47 am Reply
Gil Thorp:
Look, I’m not going to begrudge a man for having a phobia, but why small scorpions? Is he specifically afraid of them hiding in his shoes? Did he have a traumatic experience as a child where a small scorpion was about to attack him, but a big one came charging to his rescue?
Vulpes
October 15th, 2026 at 4:52 am Reply
Gil Thorp again:
“Specifically my current wife. My ex-wife? Fuck her. I hope her shoes are filled with tiny scorpions.”
Gil Thorp yet again:
“Why aren’t I afraid of Borys? Well, you see, I’m not out there on the field. He’s not going to give me a concussion!”
pugfuggly
October 15th, 2026 at 4:47 am Reply
GT “Its just high school sports, why would I get emotionally invested in that?”. Good question Gil Thorp, very good question.
But What Do I Know?
October 15th, 2026 at 5:58 am Reply
GT — “Just another Friday night” is the title of Marty Moon’s biopic regarding his struggles to maintain sobriety–or Beth’s tell-all about her sexual frustrations. . .
cheech wizard
October 15th, 2026 at 7:18 am Reply
GT – Nothing scares Gil anymore, ever since Milford got flooded with toxic waste. You’ve seen Robocop, right?
GarrisonSkunk
October 15th, 2026 at 8:47 am Reply
Gil Twerp: Milford got their uniforms from Marvin Acme again. The disappearing/reappearing ink helps players fade into the sidelines after a devastating loss.
Pozzo
October 15th, 2026 at 5:40 am Reply
BG&SS: Now, if she had started that sentence with “Tarnation!”, I’d have bought it.
Soiled Shorts
October 16th, 2026 at 4:33 am Reply
RMMD – Next line (from either participant): “Wanna dry hump?”
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Victor Von
October 10th, 2026 at 9:04 am Reply
Look, we all want to see Crankshaft murdered by technology, but you’re asking seniors to remember to download apps? I’m sorry, your premise is flawed!
69. Horace Broon
October 11th, 2026 at 9:14 am Reply
MW: Hooray for surreal and grotesque dream imagery (finally!) but I’m distracted by wondering if Moy has no idea who Sylvia Browne is beyond “the author of this line that came up when she searched for ‘nightmare’ on BrainyQuotes”, or if the creator of Olive really does think Browne is a source of inspirational wisdom.
SFx: You know, I used to be an amateur magican, and there is nothing more annoying than the guy who wants you to know that he knows how it’s done. Let Max have this, Sly! Let him have this!
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. richardf8
October 13th, 2026 at 7:08 am Reply
JP – Watch CIA Lady place April as the newly employed Alan Parker’s paralegal. Then the balance will be restored.
Congratulations, MKay! Thanks, Scratchy!