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There’s a chill in the air, spooky season is upon us, the leaves are in their best fall colors, and it’s time for the comment … of the week!

“Gossipy to the point of being almost wildly out of hand! In other words, manageably out of hand! And since ‘out of hand’ means ‘suffering a loss of control,’ ‘manageably out of hand’ is a nonsense phrase! I guess what I’m saying, Mary, is that my dialogue balloon could have been half the length it is, but I doubt that would have made it any more interesting!” –Six Nit Pix

And your runners up! Very funny!

“‘What’s this, Ian?’ ‘A demonstrative pronoun. But that’s not important now.’” –Bob Tice

“So Toby, I’ve arranged a surprise weeklong vacation for us in the near future! I just assumed you wouldn’t actually be doing much of anything that week, am I right? I mean, you don’t have any responsibilities or activities going on that you couldn’t just cancel at the last minute. Okay, I guess what I’m asking is, what do you do all day, every day? I’m curious, as your husband, but we’d all like to know!” –BigTed

“Hi is hallucinating after Lois whacked him on the head with a frying pan after insinuating she doesn’t know where London is or what time zones are.” –Hibbleton

“Finally the real story can begin, where Toby goes vigilante and Taken-style, she works her way through Charterstone’s seedy underbelly to find the source of the vile rumor. This will also act as something of a reboot for the strip as she eliminates some of its beloved character — and also Wilbur — one by one on her way to Nelly. Talkin’, in theaters this Christmas, starting whoever the woman equivalent of Liam Neeson is.” –Charterstone: Dune

“Augie, you are way too happy about having the opportunity to explain something to your girlfriend.” –matt w

“Judge Parker has mercy on its readers occasionally. Here, for instance, they give us a moment to appreciate this quaint cottage in this bucolic, autumnal setting before showing us the tiresome creatures who dwell within it. Take out the word balloon, and that first panel could be a painting in a motel room!” –Joe Blevins

“Wouldn’t the Rhymes With Orange strip be so much more horrifying if the entrepreneurial tortoise still had some of its shell? At first, he just needed a quick buck, so he made some jewelry out of the edges of his shell, a small corner he could live without. But as time goes by, he can’t resist the siren call of easy money, so he starts chipping away at more and more of his shell. Mutilating his own body for greed, knowing full well that the closer he gets to his spine, the higher the risk of permanent injury or untreatable infection, but once he started, he can’t stop himself. That’d be compelling, but I guess a mildly amusing visual is also a valid way to handle that idea.” –AndyL

“Rather than rearranging the living room so that Blondie and Dagwood can both see the TV, they moved the TV so that neither of them can watch it. It’s not what I would have done, but given the eager way they both comment on what they hear every few seconds, it seems like they’re enjoying this setup more than ever.” –Nevin, on Patreon

“‘He sure gets around!‘ says Blondie in apparent surprise. Of course he does, Blondie! That’s his whole deal!” –Vulpes

“‘You didn’t have computers when you were my age?’ ‘No, but we had more freedom to explore the outside world before helicopter parenting.’ ‘Helicopter parenting? Didn’t you notice that my uncle dropped me unsupervised in a diner to talk with old strangers?’” –Ettorre

“Ah, my friends are happy. That’s worth all the secretive planning I’ve had to do these past few weeks. Now, when they least expect it, I can strike. Time to set the timer on the bomb and excuse myself. We’ll free up a couple of those rent-controlled apartments yet!” –Voshkod

“Oh man the nurse is weird and slightly odd-looking which means villain, but has the name ‘Gladys Gooding’ which you know is obviously a good-guy name. So I don’t know what to think. This is literally the most suspense I’ve felt from a Dick Tracy story.” –Andrew Millar

“Every day is 9/11 if you’re an aggrieved plugger.” –JW

“You’re a plugger if the cost of remediating the lead paint and asbestos in your alma mater exceeded its value as a building.” –ComicallyChallenged

“To be fair to Dick, if I ran into Gladys, I would assume she was a dominatrix, or possibly a nun. ‘Actual trained medical professional’ would be somewhere around my fifth guess.” –Navigator

“Wilbur would like Mary to know that Charterstone is a very gossipy place, and if you hear something unsavory about someone it probably isn’t true. In fact, maybe he’ll say it again, louder, so a few more people at the party can hear. Are there single women here? Maybe he should call them over, it’s very important to Wilbur that they know this.” –Dan

“I’d have to say my biggest regret is continuing to hold you with some level of esteem even when you continue to be nothing but a net negative influence on my life and well-being.” –Lionheart

“What … is this expression on Toby? I’m really asking. They could have drawn her with mouth doing literally anything else — vacuous smile, vacuous toothy grin, etc. — but instead, she’s gaping like the most gormless of baby birds. Is she … singing to him? Is she gently telling him that his beard is stuck in her hair? Whatever she’s doing, Ian’s pained grimace is pretty funny. Sorry, buddy, you did this on purpose; tell you what, bring the parrots to Maui with you to distract her and it’ll be like you’re not even there.” –els

“Why specifically a circus stilt walker? Is that more respectable than, say, a freelance stilt walker who hires out for parties and events, or someone who does it merely as a hobby? Can you even apply the word ‘respectable’ to someone who walks around in long stripy pants?” –TheDiva

“In books intended for parents to read to small children, a commonly employed gambit is to put in questions that the child can easily answer if they’ve been paying any attention at all to the preceding pages. This rewards the child by making them feel smarter than the characters in the book. Everyone who read the first panel of today’s Mary Worth and called out ‘I know, I know! It was Nelly!,’ give yourselves a cookie.” –Peanut Gallery

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