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Mark Trail, 9/6/04

Superman was crippled by Kryptonite. Wonder Woman lost her powers when tied up. So it makes sense that Mark Trail, too, has a weakness. But who would have thought that the passion for the environment that makes him such a great outdoorsman would also undermine his ability to ferret out evil?

As you can see, in the today’s episode, our hirsute yacht captain is charming Mark by demonstrating his environmental awareness (and yes, it’s sad that not dumping trash directly into the sea qualifies as “environmental awareness”). The respect shown for Mother Earth even moves Mark to unleash an “as you know”-prefaced chunk of exposition. Meanwhile, he’s ignoring an obvious fact: that the captain has a beard, and (in the universe of Mark Trail, anyway) is therefore obviously evil. His villainy is confirmed by the two shaggy, swarthy fellows in the final panel. Hopefully Mark will be lulled out of his eco-friendly complacency in time to deliver his knockout punch.

For the record, today is Labor Day, and there were not one but two woman-going-into-labor-on-Labor-Day jokes in today’s comics section (B.C. and Gasoline Alley).

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Mark Trail, 8/28/04

No one has yet submitted a Mark Trail entry in my summarize-the-soaps contest (Enter now! Operators are standing by!) but I’m beginning to think that it’s even more loopily entertaining when I’m baffled by the plot developments. Today we meet Otto, a cravat-wearing, contraction-eschewing, possibly European cook (though “chef” would no doubt be a better term for such an obvious aesthete), and Primrose, his … well, what are we, exactly? In the second panel, Primrose looks like a lemur, or maybe a marmoset, while the in the third she takes on the appearance of an ordinary house cat. (In the first, she looks like a cardboard cutout, but let that be for the moment.) As amusing as it would be to have one of the minor primates on board for this adventure, I think it’s pretty clear that pencil mustache + cat = villainy. And if the colorists are to be believed, he’s a shade swarthier than everyone else, too. Watch out, Mark!

I’d also like to point out that the bearded man in the middle of the first frame, who I assume is this voyage’s commanding officer, seems to have stolen his uniform from a 1970s airline pilot, or possibly a movie about 1970s airline pilots. This is one shady operation.

Meanwhile, I hate to make fun of Mary Worth, but … oh, who am I kidding. I love making fun of Mary Worth; it’s one of the main reasons I started this blog. Anyway, be sure to check out today’s installment, as it contains the first use of the phrase “my very own meth lab” that I’ve seen in the comics outside of Dennis the Menace.

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Mark Trail, 8/12/04

I’m going to start a new avant-garde performance project called Mark Trail Theater. The actors will perform the works of major playwrights, but they won’t change their facial expressions or use anything but the broadest body language. The only way they’ll be permitted to indicate changes in emotional state will be by shouting. Also, they’ll use contractions much less than a normal person would.

This is potentially the most emotionally charged Mark Trail I’ve ever seen, though that admittedly isn’t saying much. Kelly must be some sort of old flame of Mark’s, and I assume that Cherry is seething with jealousy, but I’m assuming that because of my knowledge of how human beings work, not because of any visual cues in the strip. She just sits there in profile at the left side of the panels, her eyes darkened with — well, what are they darkened with, exactly? Rage? Mascara? An ink smudge? Confusion, because Kelly looks like every other woman in the strip, only with a different hairstyle? We’ll find out. I’m certainly looking forward to some personal animosity expressed Mark Trail-style, which is to say entirely through clumsy dialog.