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Why it’s Friday, which is our day to enjoy the week’s top comment!

“No one in this comic has a lower jaw. Why is steak even on the menu?” –A Concerned Reader

And we also enjoy the runners up on this fine day as well. They’re hilarious!

“Tfw you read it as ‘having to go number four‘ and are wondering what the living conditions in colonial North Africa have done to the human excretory system” –Carl Lund, on Facebook

“In the last panel, Marvin’s thinking, ‘That’s all you got? I could have gotten off three perfectly good poop jokes in the time it took you to make one lousy gold pun.’” –Pozzo

“Did you know that Humboldt Martins are incredibly high all the time? After raiding the marijuana, they’d roll the leaves with their tiny little paws, and light them with their tiny little lighters. And now they’re endangered! You can believe all this ‘pesticide’ and ‘habitat’ crap that the syndicate is forcing me to say, but you must know what the true menace here is!” –Dimensionalotter

“If you’re trying to sell Millennials on golf, I don’t think this is the best platform for it. Don’t you have access to a Snapchat or a Waze or whatever?” –TheDiva

“It took exactly 100 years, but Mutt and Jeff’s hipster mustaches and thrift-store formalwear have finally come back into style. But they’d better hurry — in certain parts of Brooklyn and Portland, Hi and Lois-style ‘suburban backyard normcore’ is about to be the next big thing.” –BigTed

“Mary, did you hear? Old Man Wynter’s dog has died. Yes, Fenrir, beast of slaughter, has died, and the Fates are in turmoil. Can the Fimbulwynter come without the wolf that devours the sky? Who will Víðarr kill if the wolf is dead? Anyway, I’m off to see Jörmungandr, the world-encircling serpent, to see if we can save Ragnarök and bring down the gods. Wish me luck?” –Voshkod

“Ha! It’s funny because, in real life, Ed would have suffered third-degree burns and probably died! But instead, he’s just bewildered and covered in soot like Wile E. Coyote after an Acme malfunction! Tell me again how someone in this same fictional universe had cancer and we were supposed to care about it.” –Joe Blevins

“Hmm … an early 2000s Toyota Tercel … and it’s been freshly chewed…” –pugfuggly

“Like steampunk, Hi and Lois is a curious paradox. On the one hand, today’s strip wouldn’t make sense before the invention of mobile phones, but on the other, it relies entirely on 1950s values (housewives, henpecked husbands, wearing suits to work, boozy workday lunch). Is there a name for this aesthetic? Picketpunk?” –Schroduck

“My wife doesn’t tell me what to order for lunch! She couldn’t anyway, we haven’t spoken in months.” –Ettore

“All right, I think I figured out what’s up with Toby and her attitude toward dogs. Her name is Toby. She probably heard ‘oh, that’s what our dog was called!’ a thousand too many times, and now finds only grim satisfaction in the mortality of those beloved pets.” –pachoo

“It’s starting to get boring? Has Dennis not been reading his own strip all these decades?” –JJ48

“We’re not even gonna address the fact that Beetle and Sarge have laid out a multi-course meal with wine, as is definitely super-appropriate for a drill sergeant and his private? Okay then, how about the incongruously informal chairs, which suggest Sarge and Beetle put this romantic meal together themselves on the DL, and Beetle is absolutely right to ask why Sarge is taking pictures.” –Dan

“Hagar the Horrible almost made me laugh out loud for Helga’s whiplash-inducing appearance in the strip. ‘Hamlet: How much do you know about ancient history? Hagar: Well son, it depends on– Helga: (there) HE KNOWS ENOUGH NOT TO REPEAT IT! Hagar: GAHH! I told you to carry tic tacs!’ Honestly, she looks tired. I’m worried about Helga.” –Maggie

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Hey all! It’s the first Friday of the month, so you know what that means: The Internet Read Aloud is happening in LA! Come see me and these funny people be funny!

Here is the Facebook event, which tells you all the details!

And now … your comment … of … the week!

“As if Dick Tracy doesn’t already depict The City as an authoritarian hellscape, apparently their first day of school is on Labor Day. Screw you, socialists! The only union we need is the all-powerful police union that keeps Dick out of The Chair!” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

And the runners up! Very funny!

“I get that it’s hard to frame tribute strips like this within the comic’s universe, but I find it hilarious that Hi seems to be just learning now about his creator from a book of cartoonists that’s lying around the house. I’d say that his reaction to finding out God was born in 1923 is pretty muted, but I guess the creator in His wisdom didn’t supply him with a wide range of emotions to work with.” –pugfuggly

“OK, it’s official: ‘Unpleasant Ernest Borgnine‘ here is the best character Mary Worth has ever had. How far will Mary go to force him to be nice? Let’s just say there’s always a breaking point where Florence Nightingale turns into Nurse Ratched.” –BigTed

“Literally the only thing I want from any of my exes is to resurface briefly in my life, give me some validation that I’m better looking now, and then die somewhere else a week later. Thanks, Rex Morgan.” –Lorne

“What have we learned today? In any sort of crisis, Toby will use Mary as a human shield.” –Joe Blevins

“So are we just letting the name ‘Ms. Gator‘ slide? Did she marry into the Gators? Was she adopted? Is she some reptile/mammal hybrid who looks human on the outside, but underneath is scaly and cold-blooded? Am I watching too much V?” –Daniel Kerr, on Facebook

“‘Why don’t we ever talk about human-on-human crime?’ will be Slylock’s defense when Slick Smitty dies of the massive injuries he sustained while ‘resisting arrest.’” –TheDiva

“Now, stop arguing and help me figure out how many pounds of gear Bella will be able to carry on my expedition to the Andes next month.” –Peanut Gallery

“Hey! Let me bring up something you’re probably proud of, but I’ll come just shy of actually praising you for it. Speaking of not complimenting you, here’s an insult.” –JJ48

“Speaking of shedding disguises, Mary came dangerously close to uttering ‘or his little dog, too’ in that last panel.” –Where’s Rocky

“Come now, Coach Thorp. This will all go much smoother if you just answer my questions. Tell me the names of the players. You don’t want me to use this stun gun again, do you?” –jroggs

“Talk about punishment. Dennis has to sit in the Hipster Chair, with its ironic fancy mustache. Alice is a monster.” –Voshkod

“Are you saying underneath his gruff exterior, he’s… [furiously scrolling on phone for Depression-era references] Dale Carnegie? [mutters] God I need to meet some young people.” –Dan

“Self-insert, Military Base AU fanfic of Lady and the Tramp, by 8Otto8″ –Ettorre

“What’s more disturbing to me is that the text on the door doesn’t actually tell you the hours, only the days. I mean, get on the stick, people! Dolly’s got an earworm called ‘9 to 5.’” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“The early feedback on Uber’s new chiropractic therapy offering is not good.” –Foodar

“It’s not the theater; the play has structural problems. In Act II, Roderick explains his polo injury before he’s even been onstage limping, and in the end Anabelle declares her love for Randolph, despite having previously sang an entire song about what a dunce he is. It’s out at the script doctor’s right now, giving slightly obsessive gunsel Rocco and his boys a chance to go nuts with the yellow ‘closed’ tape.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I have no idea what Marty and Gil are talking about here, but I look forward to a future in which they have to repeat that dialogue exchange every day, for all eternity, in the ‘Was a Total Dick’ circle of hell.” –Sally

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

Post Content

Hey all! Next week’s the first Friday of the month, so you know what that means: The Internet Read Aloud is happening in LA! Come see me and these funny people be funny!

Here is the Facebook event, which tells you all the details!

And now … your comment … of … the week!

“That owl though. ‘A CAVE? Can you believe this guy?’” –MissAgatha

And your hilarious runners up!

“Giant hogweed, also known as giant cow parsley and hogsbane, is also known as cartwheel-flower, giant cow parsnip, wild rhubarb and Heracleum mantegazzianum. The fact that Mark didn’t include these other names means he’s really slipping in the explanation department — which may not seem like a big deal until someone yells ‘Hey, watch out for the cartwheel-flower,’ but you don’t pay attention and end up getting your face burned off. Details matter, people!” –BigTed

“I like how the beach gets progressively more empty, as people flee Brandy and Tommy’s insufferable love talk. By the final panel even the sun has had enough, bringing dusk to California a full 5 hours early.” –pugfuggly

“Does anybody else feel like the Mary Worth is some kind of ominous foreshadowing, like Tommy is going to die trying to save it from drowning or something? Maybe the mind just sees what it wants to see. I have been hoping Tommy will drown for weeks now. In fact, I no longer care who drowns. Tommy, Brandy, me; let’s just get this over with.” –K.M.

“Jimmy Durante looks pretty good considering he’s been dead for almost 40 years. Ha-cha-cha-chaaaaaaa!” –Tom the Sailor Man

“Ah yes, muffins. The quintessential dessert for pool parties, picnics, and other summertime gatherings. And I’m sure they are bran muffins. Y’all can keep your watermelon! Mary knows the importance of staying regular.” –Havalina

“I also want to be counted amongst those who were shocked to see people actually in the pool at a pool party. What are they doing THERE and what are the DOING there? Is this a set up for some hero dog action? Will those people soon suffer from cramps for being in the water too soon after eating salmon ‘snacks’? There better be some G-D denouement including those two or I’ll be grinding my teeth something awful.” –The Mighty Captain E

“Ah, an elderly gentleman who wishes to be left the fuck alone so he may spend his golden years with his beloved dog. THIS HERESY MUST NOT STAND!” –Zerowolf

“Giving the loving illustration of that radio in Mark Trail, I can only assume it will soon be Mark’s sidekick. ‘How should we handle this, CeeBee?’ ‘Breaker breaker!’ ‘Ha! Good choice. Let’s break their jaws. I love you, CeeBee.’ ‘Wilco!’” –Voshkod

“This concludes another exciting episode of The Adventures of The Guy from ‘American Gothic.’” –Joe Blevins

“I’m not sure if this guy is already dead or not, but I better run before he hits the floor!” –Peanut Gallery

“Keep running until there’s no one left to chase you. That’s how I used to play tag when I was a kid. It was very effective. I’ve never been ‘it’, not even once. Of course, that didn’t make me very popular with my peers, but I think they were all just jealous. Hey, where are you going?” –made of wince

“The Hanks are, respectively, 95 and 75 years old. The most likely explanation is that neither of them know how to work that iPhone.” –Where’s Rocky

“Meanwhile a hawk tries very hard to convince people to build a new Aztec capital on this site, but everyone is too focused on petty looting to see the omen. Way to miss your destiny, Joe.” –pachoo

“Cindy doesn’t have any brothers or sisters. She’s a single! No caring mother or father, no inquisitive aunts or uncles. A single! No one would miss her if she were suddenly to disappear, say by going into a basement and having her organs harvested!” –seismic-2

“Hi and Lois is violating the Three Guys on a Sofa rule established by TV advertising that states one of them MUST be a person of color. However, following that rule would mess up the cultural insensitivity required by the joke of Thirsty’s Italian-American bookie. Don’t even get me started on him smoking inside the house.” –Chaze

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

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