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After a long vacation sojourn, the comment of the week is BACK, everybody, and this is it:

“‘Truck? It’s Mud.’ Yep, that’s how I expect Rex Morgan characters to greet each other in person, all right. What, did you think we’d get out of listening to middle-aged phone conversation dialogue just because Truck and Mud are two feet away from each other?” –jroggs

And here are the runners up!

“Doctors have easy access to pharmaceuticals, right? Liberal use is the only way Jeff could be that excited about this conversation.” –Hibbleton

“I’ve tried to imagine what the funniest possible reveal could be here. So far, I think a big glossy photo of Elton John is the front runner. Not present-day Elton, mind you, but 1970s ‘Crocodile Rock’ Elton.” –pugfuggly

“Is there any pronouncement more ominous than Mary’s ‘Even so, who knows what’s happening in this town sight unseen?’ I’d be less horrified if she stuck out a forked tongue, spit fire, and declared ‘I am Moloch, Destroyer of Worlds.’” –Lawyerbob

“I hope Pop turns out to be a crackpot local inventor who made that watch that Gil is speaking out of. Has he implanted a mind-reading chip into Gil’s head? Or is some dark sorcery at work?” –Philip

“I feel like we’re spending a lot of time dancing around this being Dagwood’s dispensary.” –Daniel Schultz, on BlueSky

“You’re just a few minutes away from a fiery crash off a cliff when your getaway driver is so crazed and nihilistic that his motto is ‘Why live?’ (oh, he’s probably pronouncing it ‘leyeve,’ isn’t he?)” —
Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“‘It looks like you’ve already found her, and trapped her in that tiny piece of paper!’ ‘That is a photograph, Mister Driver. You’ve never seen a … never mind … I’m beginning to reconsider my plan.’” –Voshkod

“It’s nice to see that Mary is finally coming to the realization that she tried to get Estelle and Wilbur to hook up.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I don’t know who decided to give a pair of twin children a single Super Soaker™ to share, but whoever they are, they’re a master at trolling parents.” –Roto13

“Your kids sure know heat transfer and fluid flow science.” –Just John

“Usually business people accounts for earnings and losses of a company on a three-month period, and even then many consider that too short-term. Who knows what happened in July that affected sales. Production chain disruption, restocking, Dagwood accidentally ate a contract…” –Ettorre

“I want them to get into a fight, so the headlines will read ‘Truck-Mud Flap.’” –grsblvnyk

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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It’s the 2023 Comics Curmudgeon Summer Fundraiser!

When Josh launched The Comics Curmudgeon almost 20 years ago, blogs were new and Google hadn’t yet figured out how to hoover up most of the ad revenue: a kinder, simpler age. Since that time, he and others have developed an assortment of ways to support the quality daily comics mockery we all know and love. Surely one of them fits your requirements and preferences exactly!

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Now with AI, like everything else!
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A short note on the banners: in fundraiser posts before last year’s, banners were selected randomly with every page refresh. For a variety of technical and security reasons, WordPress no longer accepts the script that made this possible, so now it’s one banner per post. But click here for an index of links to an absurd number of legacy Comics Curmudgeon fundraising banners stretching all the way back to 2008. And thank you, generous reader!

–Uncle Lumpy

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Hello, friends! Your COTW in a moment, but just a note that it’ll be your last COTW for a little bit because I’m heading out on a li’l vacation tomorrow and your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be here filling in for me until 8/14! He loves you all too much to choose from amongst you, so there’s no point in kissing up, but be nice to him anyway and I’ll see you soon!

Meanwhile, here’s this week’s top comment:

“Why would Dagwood and his fellow carpoolers need to talk about either politics or their bosses when they could be talking about his bizarre compact station wagon that appears to be molded from a single piece of plastic? Where’d he get that thing and how fuel efficient is it? That’s just the start of questions I’d like answered.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

And your very funny runners up!

“I’d like to see the rest of the tablet, just to see what he’s the ‘Boy With.’ ‘Muddy Boots?’ ‘Marketing Contract?’ ‘Serious Intestinal Issues?’” –Pozzo

“I kinda love the idea that Hägar, the viking raider, is really into medieval Europe’s budding banking system. Do you think he annoys the other chieftains with his chatter about Lombard credit schemes like a middle ages crypto dude?” –pugfuggly

“Mary smiles in smug satisfaction as she confirms the ingredients are long past their ‘best by’ dates. From years of experimentation, she knows that the combination of overripe bananas, rancid peanut butter, and stale oats will produce a chemical reaction that closely mimics sodium pentothal. She hums as she begins to mix the batter, and considers each of the Charterstone residents in turn. ‘Now, I wonder who could use some fresh muffins…?’” –Charterstoned

“Sir Houndstooth pawned the set a month ago to pay for diesel. Now he’s got his flunky to pin a crime on Shrew to collect the insurance. ‘But your honor, my broken fuel gauge always reads full.’” –Hibbleton

“Sir Hound? Sir Hound? You’re telling me that the animals rose up and overthrew the humans, but then created from scratch not only the British monarchy but the entire system of honours and knighthoods it underpins? I can believe the talking animals and Weirdly robots and time machines, but this is too far.” –Schroduck

“Mary contemplates the creation of a Banana Golem, into which she will breathe life through the intervention of the demon Astaroth.” –Ukulele Ike

“On the one hand, Sheriff Tait would really like to stop Lukey from perpetuating the cycle of violence of his generational blood feud. On the other hand, money talks, and those flatlander tourists don’t bring the green if the ponds don’t stay stocked.” –jroggs

“Don’t sweat it, coach. I’m sweating enough for six of us.” –Peanut Gallery

“‘I had no idea they were profiting off you!’ declares Gil, establishing his alibi. He’s lying with the truth, of course. He thought this forcing juvenile delinquents to play bloodspor– er, I mean, football for the amusement of himself and the rest of the school system was a private, for-fun affair. He had no idea that dude who looks like an a cattle baron from an old western was stupid enough to broadcast their crimes and try to profit from it.” –ectojazzmage

“I like that the dog’s growl ends with ‘- – -‘, as if there’s more to come. Tune in tomorrow, when the dog continues growling!” –Voshkod

“If Luke goes by ‘Lukey,’ and Louise goes by ‘Loweezy,’ and Elvina goes by ‘Elviney,’ does that mean Snuffy’s given name is … Snuff?” –astroboy

“Silas needs to let others know that if unrepentant thief and general ne’er-do-well Snuffy Smith is still allowed at the store, they are also welcome to shop. Silas easily forgives past sins of shoplifting, as the markup on his wares is also robbery, so who is he to judge?” –Philip

“Damn, so Snuffy is too principled to accept a reduction of his debt in exchange for promotional considerations. Perhaps he’d feel differently if he ever intended to pay it, but he’s standing firm on delegating the distasteful obligation to his scarecrow, for whom he has also apparently obtained free clothing in the process of mitigating his almost entirely hypothetical debt. My hat is off, Snuffy. Please give it back.” –Violet

“Ah, the ‘Good Ol’ Days,’ namely the 1990s when it was acceptable to wear baseball caps the wrong way. While Dennis might think he can time travel with a wagon and a 2×4, he should look down a moment. If Joey isn’t intelligent enough to tie his shoe, I don’t think he will be able to help Dennis shatter the barriers of time and travel back to the past.” –KMD

“Poor Brazil. Out of the Women’s World Cup in the group stage and now this.” –But What Do I Know?

“The sandwich is insufficient for *DAGWOOD*. It cannot fill the void within. More is required. Perhaps you should invite your client’s husbands over to *WATCH THE GAME*.” –Old Man Shadow

“Forcing underage prisoners to practice in brutal conditions and play a televised game for viewer gratification was something I was all for, but finding out that SOMEONE ELSE would profit off of it? Unthinkable.” –ALK

“If I wanted to read an incredibly boring comic strip about about dogs, I’d read Mutts.” –Rube

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!