“Upon telling Estelle to take the reins, Ed was reminded of a horse he had to geld later this week. So much to do!” –Philip

“Ian as a silverback male gorilla and Toby as a marmoset are a natch but what about Mary? Do they make human sized wasp costumes?” –Hibbleton

“I appreciate how steadfastly Estelle wants an animal theme when Ed is all, ‘when I think about animals, all I think about is death.’ This might be the first emo wedding to feature lemurs.” –taig

“Well, Lois is being rude by not taking off her hat in the restaurant, so I’d say they’re even.” –Peanut Gallery

“The important thing is that the Flagstons are disrespected and everyone is unhappy! The emotional turmoil has caused Chip to literally regress to an eight-year-old, because the artists have forgotten that teenage boys usually aren’t a head shorter than their moms.” –matt w

“The wife’s problem will become clear when Ernie’s revealed as the ‘Choke ’em and Smoke ’em’ serial killer.” –Ken

“First today’s Pluggers made me contemplate mammaries on a bird, then I thought, shouldn’t Sheila Roo’s tits be inside of her pouch? Long story short, I’m in a dark place.” –nescio

“You’re a plugger if you always wished for a cleavage but you didn’t get it because, you know, you are a bird! But thanks to an entire generation of plastic surgeons raised on furry porn, your wish can come true!” –Ettorre

“Uh-oh. Looks like Truck’s fingers have become arthritic due to decades of masturbation. What? This is a ‘family paper’. Ok, it’s due to decades of [heavy finger quoting] ‘guitar playing’ then.”–2+2=7

“‘So send up our drones!’
‘Can’t, sir. They have some anti-drone technology.’
‘So deploy our anti-anti-drone tech!’
‘We tried. They’re using anti-anti-anti-drone fields!’
‘Cut though with our anti-anti-anti-anti-drone beams!’
‘No dice. They’re anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-drone shields are deflecting our anti-anti-anti-anti-drone beams!’
‘The deviousness. OK, can we launch our anti-anti…’
[Six weeks later]
‘…anti-anti-drone meerkats?’
”fraid not. They have anti-meerkat cobras in the field.’
‘Of course, but our anti-anti-meerkat-cobra-mongeese can surely handle that!’
‘Good thinking, chief!'” –Voshkod

“See I would have guessed that the next Truck Tyler medical issue would be a hive of parasites living in his muttonchops.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“So how many veterinarians are there in Santa Royale, anyway? I thought Ed was it. This kind of shoots down his ‘I’m too busy to help you plan our wedding’ excuse.” –Pozzo

“This doesn’t look like any convention I’ve been to. Where are the bored people at their booths desperately trying to give away free stuff in hopes of a few minutes of human interaction?” –Liam

“Specifically I’m reading this article ‘Annoying NASCAR-Crazed Grandma Ruins Race Day Again.’ You heard about this maniac?” –Schroduck

“General Halftrack’s computer has no keyboard. He merely taps his fingers against a board. For all we know, it also has no screen, and he just stares at a board, too. His desk has no telephone, pens, pencils, papers, letters, in- and out-boxes, stapler, envelopes, paper clips, or other office supplies. The ‘computer’ has no printer, and if it did, it too would likely be a board. This raises the question … how did the general’s wastebasket get full in the first place? I suspect that some other private, maybe Killer or Rocky, comes in ahead of Beetle, bearing a basket full of trash, which it is then Beetle’s job to empty. Scoff if you will, but this ritual is crucial to the operation of Camp Swampy. If it were not for this steady stream of full wastebaskets emerging from General Halftrack’s office, the Army would have every reason to have him declared legally dead.” –seismic-2

“‘WEET!’ ‘What is it, Coach?’ Son, no trash talking, okay? I want people to think of you, and the quality of having high moral principles and a stately demeanor, in the same breath!’ ‘No. Don’t say it, Coach.’ ‘Yep. Barnes and Noble!’” –Bob Tice

“What Jordan really means is, ‘Anyone who has achieved our level of verbal skills has no excuse for not being toilet trained. Simple as that.’” –MKay

“Gil, no! I need closure on this profanity!” –Dan

“Mary pounding at the window, desperate to hear more about this estranged cousin situation. Former best friends? Decades apart? Major upcoming life event that gives them the opportunity to reconcile? ‘THIS BETTER NOT BE A THROWAWAY COMMENT TO TEE UP ED’S POOR WORK-LIFE BALANCE’ she shouts, smashing a wet muffin in her hand as rain lashes down.” –Dan

“A ‘still-hard Herky’s bar’ sounds way dirtier than anything in a so-called ‘kid’s’ comic ever should.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Good to see Lee Falk is unhappy as the rest of us when forced to think about The Phantom.” –jroggs

“I think the world post-Animalpocalypse is probably much more oxygen-rich than our own, which helps the animals have much more powerful brains and allows Mike to grow so large (since, after all, chitin is relatively strong for its weight). That might also explain why Slylock is so often standing around with that loopy grin on his face. It’s not only smugness. It’s also a teensy bit of hyperoxia.” –Chance

“Man, when you start adding people from the ‘estranged relative’ section of your guest list, your wedding is either too big or you don’t have enough friends. I’m betting on the latter in this case.” –pugfuggly

“Actually, Mike the Monster Mosquito won’t be ‘feasting on flower nectar and plant juices,’ he’ll be starving slowly to death as his hijacked body flings itself helplessly but uselessly against the skin of terrified animals under the Count’s command. Sorry, that got a bit grim. Although not as grim as ‘This pit bull we’ve never seen before is getting the wrong medication for its illness’ and ‘Gertie’s cat is trapped somewhere and/or dead.’” –Schroduck

“Gee, I’m sure glad we went through this whole plot about how terrible bullying is so we can get something that would realistically cause more bullying.” –Needless Exposition

“I wonder if the employee of Walker-Browne Industries that wrote this strip was able to write off their trip to Kansas City as ‘research,’ or at the very least their meal at the rib place they ate at.” –Westing1992

“It’s funny because they’ll turn to the backup plan for winter warmth: beaver pelts.” –nescio

“Speaking as a northlander who once lived in a small village where in the winter the power and water would often fail from the cold and we’d have to huddle around the fireplace to survive the night (this happened last in 1996 by the way), I’m gonna say Hägar and family will probably be fine. Judging by their lack of a woodshed to keep the firewood safe, these are soft southerners, probably in Denmark or someplace warm like that.” –Amelie Wikström

“Dutch camera angles, characters who never look at one another when they speak and whose dialog is always mismatched … we’re only black-and-white film and long introspective silences away from the Ingmar Bergman era of Mary Worth, and you know what? It makes far more sense this way. Låt den svenska expressionismen rulla säger jag! Wilbur är mycket bättre på det här sättet!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“The usual way would be to get several manila folders, with a color-coded tab for each vendor, but if you’re making the folder from scratch — shredding wood, boiling it down to pulp, dying, rolling, cutting, and all — I can see why one would be enough until this whole ‘wedding’ excitement passes.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Start with the cameras facing the sea. Get me a geofence so we can see all the cell phones in the area. Hack the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency so we can get raw take from the spy sats. You, seduce the head of COMOCEANSYSLANT and find out if the Integrated Undersea Surveillance System sensors picked up any unusual splashes. Me, I’m going to go beat a bit of truth out of Poseidon, king of the depths. If anyone saw something, he did. Let’s get cracking, people!” –Voshkod

“That is the face of a man who knows about furries and knows his fiancée doesn’t know.” –Stronk Pony Club, on BlueSky

“Wilbur RSVPs: ‘Does it have to be a mammal?’” –Hibbleton

“Sage has been part of various French colonial projects for centuries, eventually winding up in Algeria. He’s committed many unforgivable sins, and the Haitian voodoo priestess warned him that not only would he have to live the years he cost the slaves he traded to the colony, but the sins of all those years would pile up into a karmic debt he would pay in the afterlife. No Catholic priest could forgive him, there is no home with the Muslim natives he oppressed, let alone the Jews after his collaboration as a member of the Vichy government. He lives in the cave to avoid adding more to his debts and hide from the looming spectre of death who walks the land with a parade of his many victims in tow.” –Philip

“Crock, sadly, makes more sense when you realize that they’re in the Sonoran desert, home of saguaro cacti, not the Sahara. You can write the whole mess off to peyote.” –Downpuppy

“Is casual dress even permitted at all in military offices? I don’t know Army policy, but then again the Beetle Bailey people don’t either.” –Tom T.

“Folks said please and thankee! That’s it! Folks only knew two words! Communicatin’ was difficult back then, we had t’git creative with inflection! That’s why young’uns wuz quiet and polite; they din’t know all these fancy pleases! I mean words! Shoot, there I thankee again!” –els

“Panel after panel of suspense-building. What is Marvin typing? What is that skritching? What is Marvin typing? What is that skritching? WHAT IS MARVIN TYPING? WHAT IS THAT SKRITCHING? And then we get (a) not gonna tell you, and (b) fleas. They could have done this as a weekday strip, is what I’m saying. It would have been just as lame, but would have wasted 57% less of my time.” –Twinkles the Elf

“‘You doing okay, Parker?’ ‘Why would you be asking me that weeks later at the Youth Center, as opposed to at school, where we run into one another all the time and the incident happened?’ ‘Listen, I don’t create this dialogue! — I just say what’s drawn in the dialogue bubble for me!’” –Bob Tice

“So what if people say it’s not ‘normal’ for 50 year-olds to hang at the youth center. Normal’s overrated. (‘Boring’ will always be in fashion though, so we’ve got nothing to worry about.)” –2+2=7

“Dot, envisioning a future as a ventriloquist, practices by saying ‘Stop’ without opening her mouth. (It’s the ‘p’ that’s tricky.)” –Pozzo

“The twins ending their parents’ ability to do any imagination is made even more sinister when you look at panel two, and see that Hi and Lois are both half-bodies floating in the olive-colored void. This is either Hi or Lois dreaming, but even in the personal space of sleep their children intrude to ground their attempts to live counter-factuals or alternative histories. Like the darkest days of an authoritarian regime, the children are trained to report on parents breaking the rules of the established order, so much so the parents fear them even in their sleep.” –Philip

“Sarge is canonically a WWII veteran, so maybe he is just paralyzed in fear that they are sending him into the meat grinder of the Pacific theatre.” –Ettore Costa, on Twitter

“‘Make sure the avocado has implied boobs’ is the kind of attention to detail you don’t get at Hi and Lois.” –Dan

“I unabashedly love the Jack Benny vibe Dennis gives off in the second panel, smartly complemented by his old-fashioned footwear (what are those, saddle shoes???). It all creates such an anachronistic vaudeville feel that I almost missed the fact that Dennis and Margaret are both standing in puddles of their own urine.” –Doctor Moreau

“The most menacing thing in the Dennisverse today is the concept that they experience their reality in the same format we see them in the comic, which would explain why the television today is oriented in what we consider to be portrait mode.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Who’s to say the A/C doesn’t dance a truly delightful little jig? It clearly knows its own worth.” –Plaid Phantom

“For all I know, Rodney and Barnes are two different guys. Rodney’s just sore, but Barnes had a bitter argument with Noble about that giant volume of Hans Christian Andersen stories that nobody bought this month. ‘On the bottom display rack, wrapped in plastic, and 20% off!’ Noble sneered, while Barnes wept bitterly. This would ruin his relationship with Torch, he knew that much for sure.” –made of wince

“Mr Wilson is never happier than when he’s pressing his soft belly into a spiky hedge. Just look at that expression on his face: it’s not a good feeling, but at least he’s feeling something.” –pugfuggly

“Good humor in Mr. Wilson’s case entails looking like a gleefully deranged Nazi war criminal as opposed to his usual sullen, dyspeptic Nazi war criminal.” –Violet

“Dennis cheerfully informs his best friend that his neighbor is having a great day. Menacing Level: Less than zero.” –astroboy

“[Taps sign] MUST DRIVE MASERATI OR BETTER TO QUESTION FUNERARY PRACTICES” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Dolly is actually giving good advice here. When you are asking for God to smite someone, you must speak with a more commanding tone.” –Ranger