Brief announcement, y’all: if you’re in LA or will be LA-adjacent this coming THURSDAY, December 18th, come see me tell jokes at the Palace Restaurant in Los Feliz! Starts at 9 p.m. and I will probably go on pretty early in the show, since most of the other people have been on, like, TELEVISION and stuff. They’re all funny and I will be too! Here’s the Facebook event, for your Facebook-eventing pleasure!
Would you like to read my choice for this week’s top comment? Well here it is!
“The coldest part is the woman on the left’s expression of satisfied amusement. ‘Ha ha, I loves me some these-kids-today-and-their-social-media humor! Also, Mom just died.'” –Peanut Gallery
These other comments are also quite funny!
“Next week on B.C.: those goddamn beatniks, man.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
“I was shocked that Lois finally admitted [in panel two] that Hi’s purpose in life was as nothing more than a burnt sacrifice to some chthonic god of comic strips, an act of hope that she and the kids get to keep their existence going one more year. Then I read the next panel, and now I’m sad.” –ps
“Its OK MJ, you’re signing blank sheets of paper anyway. ‘Foggy’ got his name for his billing practices.” –Kevin on Earth
“And just how is Foggy able to give his ‘Sure, go ahead, sign it’ so quickly, in standing-around-time? Seems this contract is less ‘rights of unspecified future technologies’ and more ‘return the costume dry cleaned.'” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women
“I love how whatever Marvel intern that’s drawing this just threw a single, unattached gel frame into the middle of the beige void in a half-hearted attempt to create the atmosphere of a movie set. Like Spider-Man himself, they just couldn’t be bothered to put in more effort than was absolutely necessary.” –TheDiva
“Hmmm, those are some pretty stringent demands, but I don’t really want to cross this guy — I’m pretty sure he’s actually Morbius, the Living Vampire.” –Pozzo
“His name’s Rory McCormick. Some special effects guy out of Hollywood. Looks like someone hooked a question mark around his neck to subdue him and then beat him to death with an exclamation mark. Thank god they didn’t have access to a diacritic or they could have really ripped him up.” –Voshkod
“As a fruit bat researcher I must protest your irrational fear of bats with 1.7 meter wingspans. These are fruit eating bats so you have nothing to fear! (Except if you fear SARS, Ebolavirus, Marburgvirus, Nipahvirus and some other viruses that are present in fruit bats.)” –seldom seen
“Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and shrimp-and-avocado salad … Mary is saying with food that a threesome sounds like a good idea, but one zesty dish doesn’t really work that well with two boring old standbys.” –BigTed
“It only figures their acquaintances would be identified by their diseases. ‘I’d like you to meet my bridge partner, Shittie. She’s got IBS.'” –Écureuil Écumant
“My only regret is not knowing how many retweets my dying words will get.” –zaratustra
“Of course, his controversial politics did win him some followers too: when word got out, fans of AM talk radio from all over the state brought their kids in to listen to ‘Right Santa’ tell them the truth about unions, gun control, and fiat currency.” –pugfuggly
“Considering the turf and Mitchum’s cleancut appearance, I’ve got him pegged for an FBI plant. Them good ol’ boys better be keerful or they might be in fer a dronin’!” –Anonymous
“Wow. It’s worse than I thought. It’s not just Michael McDonald. It’s Michael McDonald and Terry Bradshaw! Terry, how could you give up a lucrative broadcasting gig to become a hitman in a swamp?!? Do you really miss Shreveport that much? Well, at least you’ll have some mellow backing vocals for your assassination attempt.” –Mikey
“I think they’re desaturating the colors here to give the impression of nostalgia and gently faded memories, but it has the effect of making this comic look like one of those dystopian science-fiction movies where 99% of the population has died of some terrible virus and the other 1% wishes they had.” –Joe Blevins
Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.
Haha, whoops, I completely neglected to do a comment of the week last week, didn’t I? In my defense there was, uh, Thanksgiving weekend and such. ANYWAY. I’m fixing that today! Ladies and gentlemen, your comment … of the week!
“In the first panel, a cackling octogenarian Pee Wee Herman squeezes some white goo into a bowl while Tobey gives herself a breast exam. After that, who needs a second panel?” –AhClem
And the hilarious runners up!
“‘I’m worried about MJ. I keep giving her the finger, and she doesn’t even notice,’ thinks Peter, the man who forgot how hands work.” –made of wince
“Having visited Iceland with its 300,000 inhabitants, I can totally understand how the Phantom family, especially the tall purple dude with the trenchcoat, will be able to move about while remaining quite unnoticed. Yes.” –Poteet
“Deserve to be in the finals? What, are you insinuating that we’re here just because of luck, or some kind of deal with Satan where I traded my immortal soul for just one shot at glory with this terrible team? Because that is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.” –pugfuggly
“Stan Lee IS Sean Hastings IN The Brave Little Toaster III: The Quickening.” –@MattFossen on Twitter
“Pius XI wrote some encyclicals that pointed out the evils of greed, capitalism and international finance. Gil will rally his troops by explaining that they’re not going to up against the power of the Almighty, they’re going to war against Communism.” –Hogenmogen
“A basic artistic question has been haunting Judge Parker’s readership: how would Manley portray a Hollywood star world-famous for her good looks in a strip where lawyers, secretaries, ‘translators,’ bookish high school students, vineyard owners in Napa County, and the domestic staff at Spencer Farms are all as stunningly gorgeous as the constraints of a daily comic strip panel allows? Well, the answer delivers on Judge Parker’s core strength of deadpan social satire. From her ludicrous name to the blank oblivion behind her glasses to the fact that she has a bra-less figure that by high-fashion mannequins would consider unrealistic, Godiva Danube is the paragon of empty, mass-media materialism.” –Master Softheart
“Dennis the Menace raises questions about time and space. Did Alice have time to wash her hands? Where is ‘there’ that isn’t here? Is there a safe concealed behind the vaguely erotic broccoli painting? If so, how does it fit into the thin wall?” –Downpuppy
“A ‘classic’? Does that mean this has run before? ‘Hello, Mr Pluggers Guy? Yeah, this is Bill Beck. My wife is still bugging me about the gutters. Can you rerun that cartoon for me? Thanks, appreciate it.'” –aphthakid
“‘That swamp really smells bad! I can’t wait to replace it with the clear, dry, mineral scent of a mining operation.’ ‘We get it, Mitchum — you’re named after a deodorant.'” –BigTed
“So he just leaves through his own apartment window? Well, I guess that’s how he keeps his secret identity. Man on the street: ‘Wow, Spider-Man sure visits that dipshit Parker a lot.'” –Mikey
“Hey, if you’ve got a squirrelly guy like Mitchum around the office — masturbates behind word bubbles, walks around with a cup and pot of coffee, calls sums of money ‘large’ — you’ll want to assure him to calm the fuck down at the end of every sentence you speak.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women
“Crankshaft takes place in the relative past to Funky Winkerbean, right? So it’s safe to assume that in the main Funkyverse strip, this movie theater does not exist and has fallen into oblivion. This pleases me.” –Justin
“I’m legitimately amazed that Ed hasn’t responded to Mustache Man’s continual self-pity/loathing with something along the lines of ‘People aren’t tired of seeing movies on the big screen. They’re just tired of you.’ This isn’t the Crankshaft we know and lov… we know.” –Shran
“Mary Worth likes to watch people fuck. Now we know.” –cheech wizard
“Loweezy wears a hat over a shawl. Let that sink in for a moment. Loweezy wears a hat over a shawl.” –Pozzo
Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.