“Hey guys, an app that can load the dishwasher is called a robot. How soon we forget the tropes of yesteryear.” –Hibbleton

“Hey, if Wilbur had been walking just a little faster, the kid would have barreled into him and WILBUR would have exploded under the wheels of the mysterious army-green van. I think the kid was given a job by the syndicate, and he just fucked up.” –Charterstoned

“Pavel wants my death to be a private affair, I want it to be catered with at least twenty close friends in attendance. I already have my coffin pattern registered.” –Garrison Skunk

“The enemy must be nearby. Looks like a foot patrol. [‘Booooo!’] We always knew our adversaries were trying to get a toehold in the region. [‘Booooooo!’] Truly, these heels have become our arch-nemeses. Destroying us is their sole purpose. This is just the first step to- [*gets pelted with rotten fruit, expired eggs, and stray feet*]’ –jroggs

“Now we see why Kit Jr. suddenly, and without advance notice, returned to the Deep Woods from Himalayas Tech — he flunked out. It isn’t that he struggled with the advanced courses such as ‘Philosophical Defenses of Colonialism’ or ‘Tax Loopholes Regarding the Plundering and Hoarding of Antiquities’ or even the intermediate-level courses such as ‘Wearing Ridiculous Costumes’. No, this dunce couldn’t even manage the very basic courses such as ‘Skulking Silently’, ‘Situational Awareness 101’, and the lab course on ‘The Hazards of Chains’. Up in the big Skull Cave in the Sky, 20 previous generations of Phantoms are watching this sad spectacle, shaking their heads, and saying ‘No. Just no.’” –seismic-2

“Well, I learned something today: the characters in Crock don’t seem to have any kind of blood or bones, they’re made of a kind of homogenous pink matter, like a kind of living pâté. It doesn’t really increase my enjoyment of the strip, but it does remove the last bit of sympathy I had for the characters, as at least avatars of humanity.” –pugfuggly

“Kit Jr. is learning why you can’t do this job in regular clothes like a dumbass. The reason for wearing a garish skin-tight costume is that the confusion is audible in the bad guys, alerting you to their presence behind you.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I love the Dumb Disheveled Dad podcast.” –Norbizness, on BlueSky

“No OMs either. He’s dead, Killer. That’s rigor mortis setting in.” –astroboy

“I love Brigman’s choice of having the panel’s frame cut off the bottom half of Wilbur’s face, leaving the expression his mouth is making to the sick imaginations of her readers. I personally am picturing him tongue lolling like a Snuffy Smith character.” –Drew Funk

“You know what, I think he did mean AI, because … he just said that? I’m not trying to be an asshole here, I just think that you might not be really paying attention.” –pugfuggly

“Man, now I have a new reason to fear death: I really don’t want a ghostly cloaca.” –Lionheart

“There is no pavement, no modern infrastructure around the computer store. I’ve seen enough cartoons to know a mirage when I see one. Both ladies are suffering from heat stroke and hallucinating a futuristic store selling futuristic goods. Is the joke that they will both die soon or that their last thoughts before their inconsequential lives are snuffed out by nature are how much they hate Maggot and would like to sell him into slavery, but there would be no buyers? Or is it a meta-textual joke on how I’ve spent five precious minutes thinking about this and will never get those back?” –Old Man Shadow

“Fortunately for us, and perhaps the beneficiary of Gertie’s will, that combustion engine doesn’t appear to be connected to a drivetrain, only an exhaust system, the better to make her specialty kale-banana-carbon-monoxide smoothies.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Say what you will about Wilbur, at least he invested some of his Ask Wendy Advice Column money in a shaving kit.” –A Worthy Foe

“Historically (or mythologically I guess) the Greek gods visit human women for sex. That’s what’s meant to be happening here, right? So Poseidon’s line about hydration is intended sexually, like ‘Time to hydrate, because you’re going to lose a lot of fluids during the ensuing hours of sweaty intercourse we’re about to have!’ You’d think a god could come up with a better pick-up line.” –Stuart F

“I’ve had worse. From a C-ration on day four in Bastogne. I ate it cold because a flame would have have drawn snipers. So, yes, dear, I’ve had worse — but with better company.” –Voshkod

“We are dangerously close to Wilbur deciding that women like ape-like men, Googling Ape-Man seeking some illegal steroid that promises results, but accidentally falling down the Furry rabbit-hole (no pun intended) and emerging as a terrifying ape persona! However, if this ends up being a King Kong storyline with Wilbur shot down from the tallest tower in Santa Royale, it will have been worth it.” –Philip

“Now let’s be fair, there are plenty of valid reasons for this lady to call Wilbur ‘pretty good.’ Maybe she just got a cochlear implant and this is literally the first time she’s ever heard singing. Maybe she’s an extraterrestrial just now encountering music. Maybe she has a head injury. Early onset dementia. The list goes on.” –Lauralot

“I’m less concerned with the theological implications of snowmen in heaven than I am the meteorological ones. I get that the upper atmosphere is probably cold enough to sustain a snowman’s corporeal form but does that mean the human angels are freezing under those diaphanous robes? Maybe they should be wearing celestial parkas or at least some holy longhorns. And if heaven is freezing, does that mean, for people who were always cold, it’s actually hell? Hmmm … I guess I am interested in the theology after all.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Is this months-long discussion of The Count’s mobility aid just a setup for some cheap ‘Muddy Boots’ gag? God, I hope so.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Randy is at least showing some body tension that accords with what he is yelling, but April’s body language says ‘Meh, who cares.’ I’m guessing that the actress playing April got together with the actor playing Pavel in his trailer dressing room and is now feeling very relaxed. Yes.” –Poteet

“Oh, come ON, Crock! ‘I hear the rains in Africa’ was right there!!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I have two iPods. One barely works, but the oldest is an iPod Classic. It rules! Holds thousands of songs! ‘Celebration’ included! But it also needs headphones or earbuds, and Seymour has neither. Dammit, Seymour, you were almost a Gen X hipster, but it turns out you’re just dumb. I thought maybe we gonna celebrate and have a good time.” –made of wince

“Don’t worry, Trixie still doesn’t understand the difference between an illustration (the seed package) and the object it represents (the seeds themselves), so she’s still just a baby! A sad, neglected baby sitting in bright daylight with sparse hair and no hat. (‘Even Mommy got to wear a hat!’ she’ll realize while sitting in her expensive therapist’s office one day.)” –BigTed

“At first I understood ‘Judy: Left in Walt’s Car’ to mean that on Feb. 28, 1935, she’d had enough of the strip’s whole (waves arms in futile gesture) … whatever all this is … and hot-footed it out of town, stealing Walt’s car to add insult to injury. ‘Go, Judy, Go!’ I exulted. ‘Go and don’t look back!’ Alas, I was wrong. Gasoline Alley seems to exert a gravitational field that no one can escape, not even poor comics readers. Please excuse my bitter tears.” –Doctor Moreau

“The seeds drink the water from the Earth, then devour the sunlight. Yes, Trixie, all plant life eats sunbeams and your favorite animals eat the plants which means they eat sunbeams, which means you eat sunbeams. Keep that in mind the next time there’s a cloudy day. You made that happen, child.” –Old Man Shadow

“If the scene was one panel longer we’d see that cat’s monocle pop.” –Dyanmoe, on BlueSky

“Estelle’s vacant stare and incomprehensible invitation to Wilbur shows that Dr. Ed has found the perfect combination between outright sedation and zombie-like bliss in her ketamine dosing.” –Hibbleton

“For the sister of someone who died a sinister death while escaping from Dick Tracy in the 1940s, Croptop looks fantastic. She should stop robbing banks and start marketing her workout routine!” –matt w

“The three of us should get together sometime. Because knowing you’re thinking of me having sex with another man doesn’t do it for me anymore. I want to see your face.” –cheech wizard

“Gonna be straight up here, I really don’t care about the angry entrenched perspectives on what counts as a ‘silly name’ from people called T-Bone and Baleen.” –jroggs

“So wait, has Walt not heard a single word of dialogue since this whole story began? That’s not fair, we should all be that lucky.” –pugfuggly

“Eggs, plural?!?! That means she’s following the instructions for cake-like brownies. CAKE-LIKE! Why not just make cake? This child is evil and must be stopped!” –Old School Allie Cat

“Reading today’s Snuffy Smith, it strikes me that I know a lot about the character’s tongues in this strip. Shape, color, where the various humans/horses hold/place them for different expressions. Just a very tongue-heavy strip. Something I’d previously noticed but never really thought about, you know? Also strikes me that my life was just a little bit better before this bubbled up into my consciousness, something I’d previously associated more with Marvin and Funky Winkerbean. Thanks, comics page!” –Thelonious_Nick

“What’s worse than bringing a crying baby to an Easter service? Bringing a sun-worshiping crying baby to an Easter service. (Although Trixie seems to be rethinking her views as she regards her siblings in the last panel: ‘What good is being a blasphemer if you don’t get any chocolate?’)” –BigTed

“Jesus, look at the eyes on those kids. That looks less like an overdose of chocolate and more like two kids who swallowed multiple easter eggs without removing the foil.” –pugfuggly

“There’s something uniquely depressing about that first Mary Worth panel. Like, yes Wilbur, you are now master of all you survey, which in this case is your extremely divorced guy condo. He’ll get up and go to his kitchen, whispering, ‘Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose to the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude; and in the calmest and most stillest night, with all appliances and means to boot, deny it to a king?’ (The appliances refers to the microwave he’s going to use to heat up a frozen burrito.)” –Dan

“Your apartment feels empty because it’s filled with objects that are nearly the same color as the walls so it appears you have no furniture at all. Oh … you mean emotionally … it’s because you’re a horrible person who’s driven everyone who might have loved you away with your behavior. But seriously, get some furniture that isn’t tan.” –Old Man Shadow

“This smug fucker is gloating that eggs are currently more expensive than they used to be. He’s married to a hen, after all.” –nescio

“How inspirational! Seeing Skeezix’s righteous anger makes me feel like I can take on City Hall and win, even at my advanced age! Seeing Skeezix gulp makes me feel like I can swallow, too! No dementia-related dysphagia is going to overcome me, not as long as the newspapers print Gasoline Alley!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“What is in those suitcases, anyway? Spare halos? A few changes of diaphanous robes? An array of wing care products?” –TheDiva

“The military frowns on smartwatches in general, as they leak locational data about operations and bases. For example, a few years back an otherwise classified location was very easy to pick out because of all the smartwatches tracking users’ jogging habits. They’re also absolutely verboten in a classified setting. Which is my typically long-winded way to saying no one at the Pentagon cares enough about Camp Swampy to enforce the damn rules, but maybe the E-Ring will finally figure out that it exists and BRAC it into oblivion.” –Voshkod

“Comic strips are driving me crazy with all these ‘quotation marks’! I can’t read one comic without silly gratuitous ‘quotation marks’ showing up! Is there any way to escape all these comic strip ‘quotation marks’?” –Peanut Gallery

“NASCAR is not a sport, but you know what is? Drunk-driving your tiny 1970s-styled Mario Kart at high-speed through the suburbs screaming abuse at your neighbors.” –Schroduck

“You don’t celebrate having your apartment to yourself by going out, Wilbur. You celebrate by jamming to Bob Seger in your underwear. Trust me on this one.” –Bud

“Toby: ‘Sorry, Wilbur, but we’re having dinner with Ian’s daughter and her husband tonight.’
Iris: ‘Sorry, Wilbur, but we’re having dinner with Zak’s daughter and her husband tonight.’
Estelle: ‘Sorry, Wilbur, but we’re having dinner with the daughter of veterinarian Ed Harding and her husband tonight.’
Mr. Allora: ‘No.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women