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HOT ENOUGH FOR YA???? Haha but seriously, it’s almost summer and in many parts of the world it’s quite warm. I will be enjoying summer activities tomorrow and probably won’t have time to get weekend comics up until Sunday or maybe even Monday, so don’t panic if you don’t see them! But for now, enjoy your comment of the week:

“Being stuck in high school forever sounds like my idea of Hell. In other news, I’ve found a way of looking at Luann that makes it genuinely enjoyable.” –TheDiva

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I thought that was Mark’s hand touching Cherry’s nose … you know, the standard way to greet your life-mate after they’ve almost been savaged by a giant bear, with a little lighthearted noseplay.” –Mardou Fox

“Actually, I’m more concerned that this seems very out of character for Mark. He’s asking about the physical well being of his wife, when he should be trying to catch that grizzly bear so he can ride it into the forest fire to punch out the flames. ‘Yeah, great, you’re alive or whatever,’ Mark says darkly. ‘It’s motherfucking bear time.'” –Tophat

“It’s the expression of the purple fish that tells the true story — the horror, the mute, frozen incomprehension. ‘Oh, God, he … ate him. That eight-legged monster just swallowed him whole. Why is no one doing anything? The cops look HAPPY?! Oh, Lord, no. Now he’s pretending to drive! Stop beeping the horn!'” –I am Jack’s username

“Perhaps Mister Wilson is simply shaking with distress over Dennis taunting him with the fact that he cannot in fact smile, having no mouth.” –Sparrrow

“Crossover? Could this be the bear that attacked Cherry? Has he used a whole bottle of shampoo trying to wash off the stench of yet another failure?” –Mikey

“I’m not that familiar with the genre, but how would this make a good reality show? ‘MTV’s A Guy Who Knew a Lady With Cancer’?” –Bob the Builder

“Why ask if Lois loves you, Dot? You’re wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt. That means nobody loves you.” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Sure, let’s assign apes to perform undesirable jobs in our society,’ they said. ‘They’ll never revolt,’ they said.” –Chareth Cutestory

“The most unsettling thing about Heathcliff is the dead, blank look on the gorilla’s face as it prances up, throwing garbage cans around. How long now has this poor creature been putting on this avant garde performance piece? How many nights has he lost himself in his work, slowly dying inside as he realizes the only person that cares is one lone asshole cat who only wants to rifle through his art and eat some comedically large fish bones or whatever out of the trash? The owls call him the Garbage Ape, condescendingly. He is numb to their scorn. He is numb to everything, now.” –Tophat

Funky Winkerbean: “How evil can Frankie’s henchman Lenny be? He put his seatbelt on.” –jim, some guy in iowa

“Why is ‘ennywhar’ rendered in dialect but ‘swear’ is not? Hint to Parson: They rhyme, or should. Your Witness Protection sponsor, or perhaps your KGB mole-runner, should have clued you in better on these local matters.” –Lucy

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Your comment of the week this week definitely falls into the category of “Wow, I wish I had written this for my own commentary”:

“Heathcliff’s hot air balloon rises into the clouds. He doesn’t look back. ‘He never overstays his welcome,’ says a woman wearing a skirt and blouse the exact color of her neighbor’s house. She has no hands. A white cat stands on two legs. Fin.” –Nate

The runners up are pretty funny as well!

“Beating up Snuffy is one thing, and probably understandable within the honor code of Hoot’n Holler. But taking the time to separately beat up his hat? That’s just cruel.” –Francisco Arrowroot

“‘Lasercane’? What, Kingpin misplaced his Bifocals of Fury?” –NotThatGuy

“Look at Marvin’s parents: they can’t even look at one another! Another comics couple being held together only by the whimsy of syndication and a repartee of open contempt.” –Black Drazon

“I’ve started reading Marvin’s (and only his) dialogue in my head using Morgan Freeman’s voice. And I’m glad I did.” –Damien

“Sure, Peter. Your old high school science teacher would be proud. The one who took you to a leaky nuclear reactor and let a spider bite you.” –Lorne

“Cherry doesn’t have to outclimb the mama grizzly; she just has to outclimb Shelley. And the fire, I suppose.” –Doctor Handsome

“I’m reading today’s Mary Worth as though Marie is being sarcastic and now she’s my new favourite character. ‘Did I stutter, bitch? Are you DEAF? YOU! MUST! BE! GLAD! THAT! BETH! HAS! A! BOYFRIEND! YOU! OLD! BAT! I have had it up to HERE with this shit!'” –Roto13

“They all thought it was cute, maybe even a little clever, when Coach Thorp started letting disputes on his team be settled in a fake ‘court.’ Three executions later, when Thorp was sitting in the principal’s chair and his ‘jury’ was running the school, they finally understood their mistake.” –Voshkod

“Glad is not the word for it. ‘Elderly Nicholas Cage’ is.” –blah

“I. BET. TOM. IS. A. GENEROUS. LOVER!” –revenge4Aldo

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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GUYS! First of all, thank you for your incredibly generous response to the fundraiser. Everyone who donated will be hearing from me in the next few days to figure out what sort of reward you’d be interested in and double checking on your mailing address. And let’s have a big hand for Uncle Lumpy for his always-awesome fill-in duties. It’s fun spending a week laughing along with the comics instead of thinking of ways to make you laugh, and he always does a great job.

Meanwhile, I have observed your hilarious comments from afar and have selected a slightly delayed comment of the week!

“Mister Fox, are you by any chance familiar with the article ‘Fever Response in North American Snakes’? Published in the Journal of Herpetology? 1996? I’m afraid, Detective sir, that your racist and inaccurate stereotypes are as offensive to me as your pose is to crabs.” –Annie

And some runners up! Also funny!

“‘Hold on Tommie — isn’t your mother that worker bee who never leaves the house?’ ‘Sure is, Margo. I guess this is what they call a “character reboot.” Seems odd to spell it out like this, since I’m sure no-one remembers my old mom. Maybe they’ve updated her into a smart, independent woman for the modern age? Ha ha, just kidding, of course not.'” –pugfuggly

Mary Worth: “Tomorrow’s strip will feature explicit drawings of Tom and Beth enthusiastically shaking hands. Demands for the cancellation of the strip will flood editors’ in-boxes by mid-morning.” –LP2004

“It is now established that Newspaper Spider-Man is less harmful than a feeble, backward-delivered kick to the shin from an incompetent undercover police agent. With each experiment we come closer to a more exact measurement of Spider-Man’s incompetence. In time we will establish a precise value for his ineptness, which will of course be the most useless knowledge on record.” –Droopy Says

“I’m not sure how Heathcliff trashing that sign is really sticking it to the dog, but I dig the triumphant Black Power salute.” –Doctor Handsome

“The PARROT/RAPTOR double anagram is a rookie mistake. Leave the Jumbling to the professionals please.” –LUJBEM FEJF

“Actually, when the Governor says he’s right outside her door, he means right outside her door. There’s a Lincoln Towncar parked in the hallway and Lu Ann will have to crawl through the open passenger window before he’ll back up into the service elevator.” –Drewbear

“Snark all you want about the Governor talking like a six year old, but think for a moment to whom he is speaking.” –Zerowolf

“Yikes! For weeks Beth has been necking and nuzzling with Tom only on her right side, and now she has this terrible crick in her neck. Did no one tell her to alternate sides? Mary Worth, where were you?!” –Amos Snarkadder

“I don’t even remember what my life was like before I met you! That’s … weird, isn’t it? I keep feeling like I’m forgetting something … do I have a dog I’m supposed to feed? Ah well, it’s been three weeks, whatever it was is probably dead, so who cares. Love is SO GREAT.” –Tophat

Again, huge thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.