“Can we just take some time to appreciate ‘FRONNK,’ and the image it conjures of one of Stan Lee’s intern’s interns standing on a rooftop for hours on end, banging his head against a pipe and taking notes on the sound?” –Navigator

“This is some fancy-pants fundraiser. Governor Pete has changed into a tux, Margo’s looking ‘stunning’ in a shiny purple number, and Lu Ann is … wearing a cardigan. A Pepto Bismol-colored cardigan. Sigh. ‘What? Black tie means only the men get dressed up, right? Ladies don’t wear ties!'” –els

“I’m intrigued by the visual conception of ‘The crowd thins out’ in today’s A3G. Apparently meaning, ‘As the two random blue weirdos who’ve made up the audience for tonight’s bizarre event vanish into the ether, Margo, Lu Ann and the Governor find themselves inexplicably ensconced in a fitting room in Better Dresses.'” –Violet

“I’ll be paid $120,000! Then I can buy real shirts instead of just spray-painting my skin every day!” –Chyron HR

“I once accidentally backed up into a pipe. ‘Sorry,’ I said. I’m Canadian.” –Mooncattie

“It’s always a quaint domestic situation people fall into when people establish where they sit, where their spot is, which chair is their chair. Bob the Bear takes things one step further by directly marking his recliner with his exposed bear taint, no big deal.” –Chareth Cutestory

“‘Daciou’ is a moderately common Slovakian feminine first name. We seem to be getting a small glimpse into the seamy underbelly of Hootin’ Holler’s swinging BDSM community, in that Snuffy is only mildly surprised that Ma Clovis would buy an Eastern European mail-order bride/dominatrix for her husband and then force him to wear a t-shirt proclaiming his complete and total subservience to Mistress Daciou in public.” –Alex

“In the A3G universe, men’s distinguishing features are all below the waist.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“All I can think about is how that poor baby is going to inherit the freakish elongated facial structure of its parents. Which is better than thinking about the two of them smugly watching Internet porn and making lame puns about it.” –Esther Blodgett

“Tom’s internal monologue is getting pretty tedious. Although I would like to see a scene of him alone in his apartment. ‘This lonesome bachelor could go for a Hot Pocket!'” –Doctor Handsome

“A ‘birds and bees’ talk in FW would go something like, ‘All things suffer and die, including, but not limited to, birds and bees.’ These nice young people have spent years watching documentaries on colony collapse disorder and avian flu.” –Mustang

“So now you can say ‘fartsy’ in the comics? It’s probably best that my mother did not live to see this.” –Arabella

“The real crime here is that frilly-collared thing with the heart on the front. That’s what polyester is for, people.” –The Rt. Venerable Pastordan

“Silk may be the finest fabric, Slylock, but pelts bring top dollar, so watch it.” –sporknpork

“Yeah? Well, fuck Wilson. WE’RE the ones who are liable for you. He has to deal with what, like one pun a day?” –Doctor Handsome

“I’m impressed, actually, that Herb and Jamaal’s social-networking site got a name, not just ‘that popular social-networking site.’ But giving Jamaal’s ‘pal’ a gender of any kind would have been too much specificity for one strip.” –Mark

“I’m not particularly a fan of reality shows but The Neurotic Shut-ins of Charterstone is something I might actually watch.” –Violet

“Best case scenario: Beth is hit by an asteroid and Mary spends weeks reminding us how fragile life can be, especially when it’s smashed by a space rock travelling at 20,000 mph.” –Ed Dravecky

“Surely I can’t be the first person to suggest that that ‘Les, Miserable’ would be a great title for the Dead Lisa movie.” –Lumaca Morente

“I’m figuring if you want to start introducing someone to outdoor life, you don’t start off with primitive camping. You rent a deluxe cabin, or a room at a luxurious lakeside lodge. Then, as you say, you start of with a short hike, or some nice lakeside lounging. Maybe some relaxed spin-casting with a nice cooler of beer and some comfy chairs … After a day or two of that, you turn her loose in the woods with nothing but a knife and forbid her from coming back until she’s killed a deer and eaten its heart!” –Cloudbuster

“I know that Rex tends to looked perplexed at the best of times, but it seems that Milton’s knowledge of his wife’s pregnancy has literally blown his mind. ‘Women talk … to each other?’ he thinks, smoke billowing out of his ears.” –pugfuggly

Mark Trail: “Why can’t I get a cell phone signal out here? Oh right, we’re in the middle of the wilderness, and it’s 1955.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Poor, poor businessman. Shouldn’t a man of his age and wealth know, just as you never start a land war in Asia, never start a smug-dick-off with Rex Morgan?” –He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus

“Cayla’s face demonstrating how much she is enjoying the fruits of Lisa’s death is the very heart and soul of the strip.” –Jack Scat

“If Shelley doesn’t like the outdoors now, I have a feeling she may hate the outdoors by the time this camping trip [cue ominous music] is over.” –Poteet

“I compliment Slick Smitty for his sheer ballsiness. When making a sales call with carnivores, he dresses in a meat colored suit.” –Hogenmogen

“Mary, please give Wilbur his advice column back. When did he return from his trip, six months ago? Alone he sits, eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar and perusing Kite Action magazine. You monster.” –KreatureFeatures

“If I don’t slow down, my heart is going to explode! In fact, it might cause a BOOM on the market! Hah hah, no seriously I will die.” –Notebooked

“So, Mark, I’d like you to take Shelly on a tour of Lost Forest. Teach her that the forest is peaceful and has nothing for her to fear. Maybe start with a tour of the places that your hideous ward was either kidnapped or shot at from above. Show her the drug fields and the famous skeleton tree. Then maybe after a hearty pancake lunch you can show her Cherry’s giant beaver. That should all help her see what she’s been missing.” –Mikey

“The cardiologist ran no tests but pronounced his patient a ‘time bomb’? Seems legit. Rex asks the first man he sees to remove his shirt? Of course. Rex’s nurse giving the guy a hot cup of coffee right before an EKG? Sorry, that ‘ping”’was my suspension of disbeief snapping.” –Ed Dravecky

“I remain deeply suspicious of time-traveling Harry Truman’s motives in this particular Mark Trail plotline. I can’t tell you how, but I’m quite sure that it will develop that Cherry and Shelley’s presence in the woods will result in an attempt on Gov. Thomas Dewey’s life.” –Crankenstank

“Kingpin must have spent a fortune on that funky retro-sci-fi floating video monitor, so he can Skype with his mind-control victim: The blind guy.” –Doctor Handsome

“Telling your girlfriend what to wear/ Is boorish and intrusive/ You can’t write poetry for shit/ And you’re quite possibly abusive” –Mustang

“‘Hey, did you see that, Bob?’ ‘What, Bill?’ ‘That floating, bobbing television with the commanding visage of a fat man? You know, the one following that guy dressed in a red costume around?’ ‘Huh. Well, that’s New York for ya.’ ‘Aren’t we in San Francisco?’ ‘Hell if I know, Bill. The art looks the same, and they never draw the weather.'” –Voshkod