Post Content

Ugh, not much funny stuff in me right now for obvious reasons. Still, I hope the top comments from this silly and supportive community can make people feel a little better tonight. The top comment!

“While other papers may use the word ‘obituaries,’ the Plugger Gazette knows that is readers have no time or patience for such highfalutin’, college-boy nonsense. Besides, the more concise ‘OBITS’ allows them to print the page header in a bigger font, because if there’s one thing pluggers like better than contemplating their own mortality, it’s large type.” –wonkeythemonkey

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Can we prove with absolute certainty that Margo’s arm is actually attached to her body in panel two and is not a dummy arm she’s carrying around and wiggling in Evan’s face?” –sporknpork

“I read today’s Hi & Lois three times before I realized that Dawg doesn’t want the daily newspaper to stop publishing because he wants to fetch it. Dawg’s need for exercise notwithstanding, this strip’s unmistakable doggist-oppressive attitude is why the printed daily newspaper is in trouble today.” –Comcis Fan

“I’ll bet that pier smells strongly of Old Spice and rough trade.” –Ned Ryerson

“Bow-tie with plaid jacket, heavy rimmed glasses, green pastel frock and fake pearls, dressing their kid like Mr Pink to go eat somewhere with mismatched thrift-store tableware. Are the Mitchells … hipsters?” –Fats Pinto

“Someday Gunther will be mildly interesting for three weeks on Project Runway.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“I like how this storyline has spent approximately 30 seconds on Rex begrudgingly saving the life of an old woman and hours upon hours of June in her bathing suit hanging out with a trio of strippers. The artist knows my tastes! Here’s hoping June’s hitherto-unpictured scandalous bathing suit makes an appearance at some sort of cancer fund charity strip-off. That’s how people pay for cancer treatments, right? Stripper avalanches?” –Dr. P and the Women

“When you think of evil comic strip characters, the Wizard of Id is the first that comes to mind. Whose moments of quiet reflection are not disturbed by the memory of that time the Wizard responded unenthusiastically to something his wife said?” –Spunde

“Didn’t I tell you, Margo? Marvin and I have joined the Wizard in rejecting the Triune godhead.” –Pozzo

“I’m actually more impressed with Margo’s dismissive ‘I should have guessed, Tommie.’ Yes, Tommie, it’s a given that you’re a simp who will sub for the nurses so that they can see their family and friends on holidays, as you have neither. I only extended the invitation to you as a courtesy, which is now balanced by my overtly rude remark about what I really think of you. Now, Lu Ann, the key to a great party is to have a blonde chick drunk and dancing by herself waaay too early in the evening. I have only one question: Do you have what it takes??” –hogenmogen

“Two clean-cut white people in white shirts in a sterile tiled kitchen bereft of any signs of actual food. In a thousand years, when the Smithsonian does an exhibit on life in the 21st century, this is going to be the diorama they use for ‘American WASP.'” –pugfuggly

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

Post Content

Hey there! Your COTW in a moment, but one last reminder that you can see me and many other funny people do funny comedy in downtown Baltimore, tomorrow (Saturday), in the Doomhilda Festival of Lights! 8 p.m., E.M.P. Collective, 307 W. Baltimore St. Be there or be somewhere less fun!

But few things are more fun than your comment of the week!

“I’m pretty ignorant of both (a) football penalty rules and (b) Gil Thorp conventions (other than the annual hideous family Christmas card). Does it mean anything that the penalty flag has breached the border of the third panel? Is it escaping?” –sally

And the very funny runners up!

“[In panel three] that is the look and posture of a guy using a urinal.” –Dale

“Otto knows that the first thing to do when trying to deter sharks is to start peeing in the water as calmly as possible.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Wait, is this whole storyline just a daydream Otto’s having while he lolls in a bubble bath?” –Doctor Handsome

“I didn’t make the paper myself. There were lots of people involved in it too. The reporters who did the stories, the editors, the boys who run the printers.” –Liam

“YES! A crime I didn’t even try to stop resulted in virtually no harm done! This is the closest I’ve come to a victory in years!” –Doctor Handsome

“In The Birds, Hitchcock deliberately made a relatively normal movie up to the moment the eponymous birds do their thing. Can we hope the writer of Mary Worth is a Hitchcock fan? Because I’ll pay good money to see the birds carry off One-Arm’s new prosthesis.” –Voshkod

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

Post Content

Your comment of the week shortly, but first: don’t forget that I will be reading in New York on Tuesday and doing comedy in Baltimore on Saturday the 8th, so you should be coming to one or both of those things. But will I be funnier than this week’s COTW? Enh, probably not!

“To save time, ‘How dare you?’ should be printed on Margo’s business cards.” –Pozzo

I might just barely edge out these hilarious runners up:

“I’m sorry Jim, but your incestuous feelings for your dead sister are getting in the way of my incestuous feelings for my living father.” –liam

“Evan is pretty sassy for someone who appears to have coordinated his outfit so as to best blend in with the oddly-colored walls and furniture. Maybe it’s his defense mechanism: he planned for this epic Margo confrontation with all the cunning of a chameleon.” –Marzipan

“Stop acting like you own this agency! Just go out there and sell some real estate! … We don’t sell real estate? You’re wearing a Century 21 jacket. I just figured … So, who were these clients that you were trolling for?” –hogenmogen

“Petey Parker asks what’s going on. What’s going on is the start of Kraven the Hunter, After Dark!” –Baka Gaijin

“I must admit, Dawn’s psycho friend Jim has gestured more with his one remaining arm these past few weeks than I have with TWO arms and nearly fifty years of living. Granted, they have almost ALL been ‘I’m going to KILL you!’ gestures, but still, way to cope with your recent disability, Jim!” –mojo

“I don’t know about the students’ perspective, but I know from the teaching side of things that if my class includes Peppermint Patty, Betty Cooper, and that Russian boxer from Rocky IV, then I sure as hell don’t need to worry about my Super Ego.” –Bud

“I love the fact that Crankshaft, Decrepit Lord of All Things Unpleasant, actually seems depressed by Rose’s ranting. It’s like he’s trying to work up the willpower to die so he won’t have to hear it.” –Inkewell

“Does he bring me a strategy? No, he just brings me jewelry. Have you thought about that, son? Why not get your friends matching necklaces and earrings? And maybe some nice pink cashmere turtlenecks. I got this the last time your father ‘messed up.'” –Christopher

“When your dad messes up, he doesn’t bring me a strategy. He bring the ruckus. And he brings it all night long. Have fun in therapy, son!” –Chareth Cutestory

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And as always, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Shanalogic.com: Have a hand-made holiday! 100% Handmade &
  Indie Designs! Shop for: New arrivals, best sellers, handmade jewelry, gear for guys, geek chic, dark and edgy. Small business + artists
  = awesome!
• Give a book! The perfect gifts: The Cartel, A Lady Most Willing, Capitaol: Buying Our Democracy With Stolen Money, Order of the Seers, Forgotten, Cooch, Cascade, The Guilty Ones, The Dead Celebrity Cookbook Presents Christmas in Tinseltown: Celebrity Recipes and Hollywood Memories from Six Feet Under the Mistletoe, and A Drabble Family Christmas.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.