“Like a plugger needs a fork. What’s to stop them eating with their fingers? Manners? Yeah, right.” –nescio

“He never sang ‘Muddy Boots’ but he did perform his folksy cover of Will Smith’s ‘Men In Black’ as an encore.” –Rex Thrillhouse, on Twitter

“Sadly, I don’t think that slingshot-shaped piece of wood will slide as well as Snuffy thinks it will. So when it comes to a stop, and he’s hanging in the air high above a barren valley, just waiting for his hands to get too tired to hold on, he’d better hope that bag of feathers is soft enough to break his fall. Oh, the sheriff took the bag of feathers? Whelp, so long, Snuffy. I hope the new kids’ comic strip, Barney Google Presents Jughaid an’ Frien’s, is just as full of the laughter and hijinks we know and love.” –BigTed

“Terrible joke and infanticide aside, the Perfesser golfing alone on Easter was about the saddest thing I could imagine until I realized he was also talking to himself out loud. Depressing stuff.” –pugfuggly

“Snuffy lost his hat which means that the Hootin’ Holler GDP just dropped 13.8 percent.” –KMD

“‘Yes!’ said Trixie as she reached for her parental honesty notebook to update the records. ‘Another story is true!’” –jroggs

“‘What do you think a self-driving jeep would be like?’ ‘An anachronism. The Army phased out the jeep for the HMMWV in the 1990s. Of course, they don’t use garrison caps like yours or kettle helmets like mine either. That’s why I’m about to prove we’re in a simulation, Sarge. Fifty bucks says we don’t die when I go off the cliff.’” –Voshkod

“‘Homeschooled’ = shoved worms down my throat and then kicked me out of a tree. And I don’t even have wings!” –astroboy

“This picture tells me less ‘Dennis is a menace whose energy and chaos cannot be controlled’ and more ‘Dennis is a loser with fewer than five friends.’”–Ettorre

“I unironically love how the snake’s change in expression clearly implies that it a) has ears, b) understands English, and c) correctly assumes that Unnamed Exotic Animal Specialist is a better deal than Euthanasia-Happy Harding.” –Glarryg

“I accept that when I watch movies and TV, actors tend to stand extremely close to each other for serious conversations. Y’know, for the cameras and the drama and all. But this? This is bad. Saliva and ear wax combine in a shocking act of erotic violence, and it’s for sure no one’s gonna call an ambulance.” –made of wince

“‘Sizzling bacon aftershave’ just sounds to me like a euphemism for scalding people in order to rob them. I must say, Dagwood and Herb’s ambiguously romantic relationship is at least shaping up to end in an entertaining crime spree!” –Dunkelcopter

“Sure, she’s wearing an aviator’s helmet from the early 20th century, but I hope she doesn’t say anything that might tip off Constable Waffles (shouldn’t he be a cat?!?) about the future!” –taig

“The rest of Dagwood’s carpool opted to take an Uber since he came in reeking of bacon grease he wiped on his neck.” –SideshowJon

“Do you think maybe the Rex Morgan artist may have just gotten tired of drawing eyes?” –Pozzo

“It’s supposed to say ‘Thank You, Teachers’ which is why Gil thinks this is a ‘good job.’” –Kevin On Earth

“The camera is pointing directly at the therapist which raises all sorts of questions. Does he suffer from crippling impostor syndrome that the camera helps him deal with while he’s treating others? Or does he have Dunning-Kruger to the point that he needs an insecurity camera to deflate his falsely inflated ego when treating others? There are a lot of funny possibilities here in spite of this being Shoe.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Oh, no, wait a second … he’s just taking a shit. Well, it might still be enough to get him into Vassar.” –Applemask

“PJ’s nursery school thesis of ‘Will this fit up my nose?’ will win him admission to highly sought after STEM elementary school, assuming the bug he’s about to experiment with doesn’t lay eggs in his brain.” –Philip

“I’m more mystified by the decision to ramp up the coloring FX for this particular episode of Hägar the Horrible, as if to announce that the strip is transitioning from gag-a-day laffs into serious graphic-novel territory, and using mermaid sex as the load-bearing pillar with which to do it. Ichthyophilia and Götterdämmerung: The Lucky Eddie Story will be the talk of next year’s Eisner Awards. Admittedly, much of that talk will be the question ‘Why, WHY??’ and various forms of cursing, but that counts as talking.” –T Campbell

“‘Shady’s nuts container’ — They’re called pants, Slylock.” –Liam

“The incompetent lawyer and his red headed wife talking at length about something that happened off camera last year. This strip became Judge Parker so slowly that nobody even noticed.” –Where’s Rocky

“Don’t take astronomical information from a kid who finally notices that the sun is coming at 10 am.” –Cindy

“‘A shopper’? What’s that about? Is his name Angus McFurball? Wilford Bramble? Corpulent Kitty? I need all the facts!” –Flipper

“Dagwood having to be told there’s leftover spaghetti is the most out of character thing in this strip’s history.” –Patrick Duke, on Twitter

“It’s hard not to feel bad for Daisy in this scenario. Normally Dagwood would build an enormous sandwich, scattering food everywhere that a dog could easily pick up, but he’s managed to get every bit of that spaghetti in the microwave. Daisy’s only hope is that he’ll drop it, which is highly unlikely since he’ll probably pour it straight off the plate into his mouth.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Dennis has a red circle on his cheek indicating that he’s a child. Mrs. Wilson has a red circle on her cheek indicating she’s a woman. Mr. Wilson has a red circle on his nose indicating he’s a drunk. The Yokosuka MXY-7 Ohka suicide rocket rapidly approaching the house they’re in has a red circle on its wings, indicating that the Empire of Japan had one last hold-out pilot who really hates Dennis the Menace.” –Voshkod

“Humor?! Not on Blondie’s watch!” –Dan

“I can’t help but think that Loretta wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. The flashlight was meant to be a Fleshlight, and I dare not speculate what the other items were meant to be and how they would be used. Suffice to say their real kink is spite, and all these items will be used.” –Philip

“My therapist is great, Ed. She’s really helped me overcome my neediness and control issues. I’ve already set up an appointment for you.” –Merry Mirth

“Lucky Eddie is referring the the next level of evolution. Like the lungfish, the mermaid can already breathe air. She will venture onto land, burrow into muddy ground and encase herself in a mucous sheath that gradually hardens as she spends the dry season estivating. Hagar is correct that this will not be very rewarding for Eddie.” –Mantipath

“I’m not a psychologist but shutting all the lights save for one spotlight focused on Dennis might be somewhat enabling.” –Hibbleton

“The Mitchells’ entire circle of acquaintances is made up of dorky husbands and hot wives? Do they find these people on a special internet site?” –Ukulele Ike

“Only someone who lives in a huge suburban home would believe that the best way to deal with Chip’s clutter problem is by giving him more junk.” –BigTed

“This is a game changer for fans of this long-running strip, just in time for the centennial of Beau Geste next year. They have cell phones in Crock. The Lost Patrol apparently chooses to be lost since its members don’t want to use their cell phones. The brains behind the strip are now using it to remind us of the French invasion of Algeria in 1830, during the final days of Charles X’s rule, comparing that last Bourbon monarch to Macron. We’ve gone through the looking glass, people. Or cell phones could be forgotten and never referenced again in Crock. But for a moment a comic strip about the French Legion tried to be relevant.” –KMD

“At this point, we can agree that Crock is a subset of steampunk. Across the ocean in the same universe, Jay Gastby has a 4K television in an Art Deco casing and an electric Dusenberg with a touch screen. Ernest Hemingway is taking selfies of himself in Pamplona. And torrents are pirating Lady Chatterly’s Lover all around the world in a mocking of the censors.” –Tonio

“I think I’m going to spend the whole Easter holiday weekend working out what kind of engineer would show up at the Mitchell house in a name-tagged blazer and carrying a manilla folder, but also wearing loafers. Best I can come up with so far is genetic engineer, come to do his regular checkup on the secret government Super-Menace project.” –Schroduck

“I love that in Hi’s imagination, he’s literally just Slash. His long term plan to kidnap the Guns n Roses guitarist and steal his hat/identity was foiled by his age. Being 40-ish, he’s far too young to be a member of Guns n Roses.” –Schroduck

“‘There’s one thing I don’t regret,’ said Hi. ‘What?’ asked Lois. ‘Marrying you.’ Lois blushed and squeezed against him, taking comfort in his presence for as long as she could before the smell brought her back to the problem at hand. ‘There are two things I regret,’ she said. ‘What are they?’ asked Hi. ‘First, that we never had an intervention for Thirsty,’ Lois stood and walked over to their neighbor’s corpse, holding her nose as it released foul gasses into the air, ‘and second, that we gave him a house key.’” –Glod Glodsson

“As Yvonne and Hank sit among the newly dead, their particular brand of hell is hearing only new songs from an old favorite.” –Hibbleton

“Mud definitely thinks ‘intimate experience’ means he gets to fuck the drinks server.” –Dan

“It’s going to be interesting to see what happens to the US Civil War was these adorable moppets bring diseases with them that nobody will be prepared for. Covid-19, where the 19 means which century it first appears in.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“This is part of Mud’s ‘No Time For the Hits, I Got the Shits’ tour.” –nescio

“What I’ve learned from today’s installment of Daddy Daze is that, for some reason, you never see people dressing infants in black long sleeved (I want to say ‘turtleneck,’ but you have to nave a neck for that) shirts.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“‘Ba ba BA!’ ‘There are ways of writing dialogue between a verbal and a non-verbal character that provide adequate context for what the latter is saying without having the former mindlessly repeat what they say?’ ‘Ba ba ba ba.’ ‘I should look at C-3PO and R2-D2 for a good example?’ ‘Ba ba.’ ‘You’re going to sue for emancipation when you’re fourteen?’ –TheDiva

“I’m getting a ‘folk singer’s bodyguard’ vibe.” –Pozzo

“It’s clear what happened here. Mud Mountain Murphy took a dump of such proportions that he literally crapped out his trucker’s personality and all that was left was an emotionless but suavely dressed shell, like Agent Smith in The Matrix.” –Chance

“While Dennis’ eventual downfall will be his hubris, the prosecution at the UN tribunal for his many crimes will also be aided greatly by the accurate, timestamped and collated records of his lifetime of misdeeds kept by Amazon.” –Philip

“Leroy looks absolutely gutted that someone gave him a sarcastic answer complete with a prop. That’s my thing, he thinks. If anyone can do it, who even am I?” –pugfuggly

“I said I wanted a phone where I could talk all day and never have to charge the battery. I don’t know why I said that; I hate everyone and really don’t like talking much unless it’s to belittle you. Anyway, I traded in your iPhone 14 for this Bakelite rotary model. Fuck you. Your turn.” –Voshkod

“Isn’t that David Letterman after the transporter combined him with Paul Shaffer in that Star Trek: Voyager episode ‘Shafferman?’” –Garrison Skunk