“You know what? It’s refreshing that Crankshaft spends its time working out obscure gardening grudges that I’m not interested in, instead of doing obscure golfing grudges that I’m not interested like in every other strip. There, I said it!” –matt+w

“Of course Weirdly zapped Darla with his laser — how else is he supposed to shrink her down so he has a second rubber duck to play with in the tub? He lives in a town where law enforcement can just barge into your bathroom at any time. It seems perfectly reasonable that he would need to soothe himself with treasured childhood memories. (Oh, he was actually trying to cook and eat her? Never mind.)” –BigTed

“Tomorrow, Thirsty tends to his hangover with his ‘legal’ opioids.” –Hibbleton

“My favorite detail in the Hi and Lois strip is Irma, whose only characterization is ‘hates her husband,’ happily carrying more explosives out to Thirsty. Everyone knows that one couple who don’t seem to have anything in common, and nobody suspects the real answer is ‘arson.’ Hi jokes, but he better hope that Irma and Thirsty don’t rediscover their passion for fire — and each other — by burning down his house.” –literarylottie

“Ladies, you can’t fight here in the People’s Clinic! What would our glorious Chairman Mao think?” –Joe Blevins

“I like the kid in the back, who’s just staring at the spectators while his dad urges him to hop into the race. Rave on, old man. This is not my scene.” –Peanut Gallery

“What amused me is how Billy’s expression doesn’t seem outraged so much as hurt and betrayed. ‘No fair, Jeffy! No fair!’ he cries. ‘We were supposed to make it big, Jeffy, together!’” –Ahno neemus.

“Dad, a child creating a comic because the original artist is too lazy to do his job? This is something those losers in the Family Circus do! I’ve become lamer, but not that lame!” –Ettorre

“Eddie, for one thing you gotta stop wearing the slanket to raids. There’s 900 of them and 5 of us, this whole thing depends on speed and psychological impact. The red muumuu just encourages resistance.” –Jerp+Jump

“If you carry treats with you for any nearby dogs, you can poop in any sandbox you want.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“If Steve Jobs wasn’t dead, seeing Dagwood use one of his products would probably kill him.” –Where’s Rocky?

“The rise of MMORPGs has made the image on an unpleasant lardbutt sitting at a computer surrounded by piles of his own fecal matter as American as apple pie and baseball. What simply isn’t believable in any context is the idea of a human being actually enjoying a webinar.” –jroggs

“Compulsive shopping is a lot more expensive than Zoloft, or even weed, so maybe somebody needs to slip Crankshaft some edibles and a few vintage Pink Floyd albums. Rename the strip to Kushshaft and take it in a new and interesting direction. Kushshaft sets up a grow tent in his garage and obsesses over terpenes. Kushshaft goes to a Phish concert and has a greenout during a 30 minute rendition of Fluffhead. Kushshaft visits the nursing home and proves that men can have multiple orgasms. You know, that kind of thing.” –toxic

“Yes, Zane is the very picture of enthusiasm there. Would somebody please wake him up? He’s missing out on some excellent hand gesturing.” –made of wince

“There’s a syllable in Javanese that’s rendered in English as ‘ba’ (ꦧ). Maybe the kid is just telling some hysterical joke about the construction of Great Post Road between Anyer and Panarukan? ‘Ba!’ ‘That’s right, as if the French could build a road to Anyer! They’d get eaten by pythons! Tell it again!’” –Voshkod

“And so to get the best of both worlds, we’re going to sew the two of you together into a kind of Franken-board-member. Let the ignorant peasants say that we’re creating abominations against God’s will. History is our only final judge.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“‘All the world’s a stage. Literally.’ said the character in a featureless void that only exists to put him and his wife on display for gags. ‘Don’t ask me where my coffee or her shopping bags came from. Or you, for that matter.’” –nescio

“I like the pose and attire of the Schlock’s confidant — kind of an aging jazz dancer feel. Bob Fosse don’t give a shit about Loretta’s wardrobe peccadillos.” –Dennis Jimenez

“The fact that Marvin wouldn’t even use the sudoku brand name but is fine namechecking a product from the planet’s most powerful megacorporation and associating it with a pooping nightmare baby makes me think they want to get sued. Perhaps when you’re in this deep, the cartooning equivalent of suicide-by-cop seems like the only way out.” –Schroduck

“Marvin is of course fascinated by any technological gadget he can operate through his ass.” –Ettorre

“Having spent upwards of several seconds pondering the matter, I believe that Bullseye is supposed to be a play on Target, though I don’t know why that would be remarkable to Funky or his financial institutions. However, many stores in real life carry some variation of the name Bullseye, and they’re usually firearms retailers. So maybe I’m wrong and Funky just set up his bank notifications to get some forewarning in case Holly decided to come home one day with a Gary Lourde Special to make him pay for his countless crimes against the English language.” –jroggs

“A garish, patterned tie? No, no. Not for me. I’ll stick with my trusty reddish-orange model. It goes perfectly with my tight black pants, light brown shoes, and curiously undersized light blue blazer. This, children, is what you call an ensemble.” –Joe Blevins

“I can’t believe he doesn’t think that hunting down living shadows to skin and make into throw pillows for our couch isn’t work! I swear, Jenny, the old man only thinks dungeon-delving and kobold-slaying counts.” –Voshkod

“Remember when I gave up my huge inheritance to marry you? Well, it’s finally paying off!” –GeoGreg

“I’m glad Shauna found water wings that match her tube top.” –matt+w

“The suspense is killing me. Are they each going to yell, ‘BITCH!! and hurl their scalding hot coffees at each other’s faces, or yell, ‘YOU’RE LATE!!’ and hurl them at Drew’s?” –Joe Btfsplk

“[Extremely David Attenborough voice] Crushed by the weight of the word balloons piled on top of her head, the young raven-hair must make a life-or-death decision: to stay where she is, or to take a hint.” –pastordan

“I long for the day when Mary Worth allowed such harsh words as ‘slattern’ rather than requiring grawlixes for them.” –Scratchy Scrotum LXIX

“Obviously, this ‘fight‘ is pure kayfabe, a worked shoot. Like everyone’s pointed out, they’re not even spilling their coffees — yet! They’re saving the coffees for when Drew shows up, tries to break it up, and ‘scalds’ the both of them. One quick phone call to the personal injury lawyers at 1-888-YA-BURNT later and Ashlee and Shauna are sitting pretty in a brand new double-wide while Drew pulls triple shifts in the ER to pay off the settlements.” –Effluvius Erratus

“Isn’t Buck nominally supposed to be representing Jake Rowling/Kyle Vidpa’s interests here. I don’t think leading with ‘severe case of writer’s block‘ is going to help his bargaining position at all.” –Not Greg Evans

“This probably says more about me than it does about the comic, but goddamn it, there has never been a Six Chix that didn’t cause me to untether from reality and gaze into the abyss for awhile. Just… what IS this? The art is very unpleasant. The finger is wearing a crown for some reason. There is no joke present. And furthermore, the artist seems to know that there’s no joke present. Adding the words ‘dang teeny-weeny’ to the sentence ‘No paper cut was going to ruin her day’ — THERE AREN’T EVEN EXCLAMATION POINTS — does not a joke make. And yet, here we are. In despair.” –els

“All Drew really wants is to provide emergency first aid to hot sexy ladies, so this is a big day for him.” –lorne

“Wait. Yesterday, Ashlee and Shauna were slapping each other. Are we to interpret from this that they set down their coffees to do that, then picked them back up to throw in each other’s faces today? ‘I thought we could duel according to the ancient slap-fighting Code of Honor, but you dared to label me an &#^@%!! You brought this COFFE on yourself, wastrel!’” –Navigator

“Come on. Henry’s handicap is his personality.” –nescio

“She thinks there are more important things than golf! But golf is everything! The companionship, the sport, the unspeakable rituals, golf has it all! When our dread lord Pa’ar rises from the green, she’ll finally understand! THEY’LL ALL UNDERSTAND!” –Ahno neemus.

“I’m loving Billy’s Rebel-Without-A-Cause-cool lean here. ‘What are you rebelling against?’ ‘Whaddya got? No seriously, what do you got to rebel against, I have no access to the outside world or larger cultural trends.’” –Liz L

“I like the fact that Hi is seen having coffee with his breakfast and dinner, but beer with his lunch. The artist knows exactly how he’ll want to calibrate his energy levels to survive each part of this daylong family bore-fest.” –BigTed

“Kitty Cop is a series so formulaic and trite that an eight year-old can write the next installment in a week with no editing. The ostensible author of the previous books is incredibly excited about this realization. Somehow the fact that the walls keep changing colors in Vidpa House is the least incredible thing about this whole story line.” –But What Do I Know?

“Today’s Hi and Lois is squarely in line with the established characters, too: Hi can’t experience joy at all, Lois can if she takes amphetamines.” –matt+w

“Started out with ‘old people so blind,’ made a hard right into ‘old people so cheap.’ That’s a real M. Night Shyamalan they pulled there.” –Old School Allie Cat

“Remember last week when Shauna said Ashlee used to be a petty criminal and con artist from the wrong side of the tracks? Well, now Ashlee used to be a trendy, popular alpha bitch who ruled her school’s cliques with an iron fist. Do keep up.” –jroggs

“It’s one thing to make the punchline a pun. It’s another to expect us to believe that Shoe would shake off his ennui and misanthropy (misaviany?) enough to bother to go see the new pet of the woman who works at the diner he frequents until the bar opens.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I’ll continue to think of these two as No Neck and Way Too Much Neck.” –Joe Blevins

“I think L’il Sparky’s complete lack of hooves might hold him back as a racehorse as well. He just has those flabby mushroom-like pods at the end of his legs, right? All the traction of a sandbag.” –Twinkles+the+Elf

“Ahahahaha! It’s funny because Mother Goose is so poor that she has to sell her blood, but also so ill that she can’t find a buyer!” –Ettorre

“Miss Buxley is shirking her own work to do whatever this is, so maybe she and Beetle are meant for each other.” –nescio

“I like the look on Killer’s face. Halfway through digging Beetle’s grave, he’s the only one that seems to be registering the gravity of the situation.” –pugfuggly

“You know what would be ‘nice‘? If I didn’t have to sit here clutching my nose to keep my cadaverous flesh from completely sloughing of my head!” –ArtOfWargames, on Twitter

“Good God! Grief has turned Judge Parker into Grandpa Munster.” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys

“It’s nice to see these legacy soap comics get back to their roots. Rex Morgan, M.D. has a young doctor torn between two lovers, Judge Parker tackles the legal ramifications of a using a child’s work, and Mary Worth gets to help this old man through a mental crisis. All is right with the world.” –Flipper

“Cool! Drew will be able to wear a lot more watches now!” –made of wince