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Folks, thank-yous on the big fundraiser are on their way if you haven’t received them yet, apologies for the delay … but there will be no further delay on the comment of the week!

“‘Blood volume?’ Just say ‘blood.’ You collected over a third of Faith’s blood. Leave it at that. The fact that you cluttered up your sentence with an unnecessary ‘volume’ bothers me more than the vampirism, frankly.” –Joe Blevins

And the very funny runners up!

“I wish I owned a business that was going out of business so I could print this panel up to hang in the window to give the passersby a final hearty chuckle as they recognize a classic Winkerbean zinger.” –Phil Gonzales, on Facebook

“In-person classes, dinner at restaurants … is Funky Winkerbean the only comic that’s not gonna recognize coronavirus? Finally it’s reasonable to have a chunk of your cast drop dead from a tragic disease, and Funky Winkerbean is like ‘you don’t tell us what to do, we kill characters on our time, in the manner of our choosing.’” –Dan

“I’m not sure why the Lockhorns have a square format photograph of Jake Tapper on their wall, but that they couldn’t be arsed to even vaguely level it is very on brand.” –Alan

“Ironically, they’re going to be replaced by an Apple store.” –Peanut Gallery

“Do you think vampires have strong feelings about using chloroform to trap victims, given it apparently contaminates their blood? I can absolutely see Whole Foods-type vampires insisting that they only drink the blood of organic free-range anesthetic-free humans.” –Schroduck

“I think that Preppie is just realizing that he is missing out on ways to monetize his looks. Wouldn’t luxury brands like Rolls Royce want to be associated with a gorgeous man like him by splashing a logo across his forehead? Just think of all the wealthy widows he beds!” –pugfuggly

“Disney lawyers are going to end the scourge of Six Chix. Maybe media consolidation is not that bad.” –Ettorre

“Now I know what feelings are like, and I hate it! Never let me get this attached to Rusty!” –TheDiva

“The albatross was shipwrecked because he killed the human, and now he is forced to wear the human around his neck as punishment.” –A Concerned Reader

“Prof. Stokes should also consult with the Theater department about his comically bad under-lighting.” –pastordan

“That machine in Dick Tracy kind of made my day. Just a pair of blood drenched fangs hanging on plastic tubing, a Gothic Steampunk robot furiously pumping away. If this strip was in a contemporary universe, Dr. Quacks here could make a killing on YouTube with his unnecessary medical inventions.” –toxic

“Never look a Murder Money Horse in the mouth. I would have gladly sorted through a dripping sack full of fingers and blood-soaked dollar bills every semester if it meant staying out from under the thumb of Fannie Mae.” –Wilktoast

“Andy’s a great … animal? Animal, right? Moves, breaths, bleeds? Minerals don’t do that. But plants do move, breath carbon dioxide, and bleed sap. Andy’s a great plant? Doesn’t sound right. Animal. I’m pretty sure Andy’s an animal. What what kind? Furry, sharp teeth, makes noise. A bat? Andy’s a great bat!” –Voshkod

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Click the banner to contribute by PayPal, or here for other options.

Faithful readers, it’s time again for the Comics Curmudgeon Summer Fundraiser!

This has been just an awful year for a lot of us, cut off from work, friends and family, and normal routines. If Josh and the Comics Curmudgeon have helped lighten your days — and you’re not financially strapped — I hope you’ll consider supporting the site in whatever way works best for you.

There are so many ways to contribute, it’s nuts:

• By credit card or PayPal — Click the banner at the top of the page, then follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. You don’t need a PayPal account to use this option, just a major credit card.
• By mail — Email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net; I’ll reply with an address for your generous check, money order, or in-kind contribution.
• As a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter — Join the ranks of Comics Curmudgeon Supporters for just $3 per month, and enjoy an ad-free online and mobile experience, plus an enhanced comment editor. Full details are here.

“Hey, it’s the thing!“
• Through a Patreon sponsorship — If you’d prefer to support all of Josh’s artistic/comedic efforts on a recurring basis, visit his Patreon page for complete details of this option.
• New! By Venmo — I don’t know what this is, but I’ll bet you do! Venmo (is that a verb?) Josh some green at @jfruhlinger!

Full details, terms, and conditions are here.

The banners at the top of the page are selected automatically on a randomized basis. If you’d prefer to browse a directory rather than hit-or-miss by refreshing the page, you can find one here, along with a ridiculous number of banners from past fundraisers.

And as always, thank you, generous readers!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Hi everyone! Your eyes do not deceive you: this is a truncated comments of the week post, because I’m doing a truncated week of blogging! Your favorite Uncle Lumpy is coming by tomorrow to do some guest blogging, while I take a relaxing vacation at an undisclosed location. Be nice to him, and each other! I’ll be back in the blogging saddle on Monday, September 14th, and as usual, Uncle Lumpy loves you all too much to try to choose a favorite commenter, so this week’s winner will stay up at the top of the site for a bit:

“‘Are you Corina Karenna?’ ‘Why? Are you authority?’ Oh man this bad girl with a heart of gold is gonna need so much of the discipline and integrity you only get from organized sports.” –Dan

This week’s runners up will also stand the test of time!

“‘That’s impossible!’ thinks Slylock, who has been mind-controlled into believing that the Acme Mind-Controlling Crown Company, a well-established corporation two towns over, can’t logically exist. (Their actual slogan is ‘We’re Space Aliens From From a Galaxy 5 Million Miles Away, So Your Friend or Neighbor Couldn’t Possibly Be Using Our Products on You!’) Slylock has also been made to believe he’s a hyperintelligent fox with extensive law-enforcement training, when he’s really only a moderately intelligent fox who attended a lesser state university.” –BigTed

“Shoe’s joke is so incredibly stupid that it annoys me and then I’m annoyed that I’m letting Shoe annoy me. Why a woodpecker? Why, dammit? Who’s eating those chickens? Can’t we have Shoe removed from the papers by a court order or something? So many questions.” –Chance

“I don’t know, but yours is going to be sent to Elon Musk’s orbiting nursing home satellites as soon as we can get the technology nailed down.” –Christine Lehman, on Facebook

“‘Corina Karenna‘ is what you call your protagonist when the Tolstoy estate refuses to endorse your Anna Karenina porn parody.” –Schroduck

“When I started my first corporate job, it was well-known that any email from our VP had actually been typed up by his secretary, per his dictation. I used to think this was just a power thing, but I later learned that he never typed anything at all. That’s because he couldn’t type, and had in fact had never used a computer and never planned to. This was 20 years ago, and it while it was slightly odd then, it would be unheard of now, where the current, 55-year old VP conducts business on his phone 24/7, and you can’t get him off it long enough to pay attention in a meeting. The point I’m trying to make is, the 3rd panel of Dustin should be: ‘Dude, shut the fuck up.’” –Carsick Yankee

“‘Reckless‘ behavior can be surprisingly tame for people who sit around all day pretending to be restrained by imaginary straight jackets.” –nescio

“Cayla doesn’t want Les running off, she needs to produce a body and a death certificate to collect on that insurance policy. Her first attempt didn’t quite pan out, but we’re all still rooting for you, Cayla. Don’t give up.” –K.M.

“The trope ‘A number of women greater than one struggle for Les’s affection’ is the Funkyverse’s worst trope. Please bring back depression/comic books/comic book-related depression.” –Ettorre

“Let’s do something reckless tonight — let’s reference Scrabble without putting the little circle-R symbol after its name. Come and get us, Hasbro!” –Pozzo

“My favourite part of this strip is the smile on the snake’s face, almost as if this whole gag was his idea. If this was a Chick tract, in the next panel that snake would definitely be telling Denis to skip church and listen to heavy metal.” –pugfuggly

“‘I gotta say, Will Thayer looks like he lived in the weight room all summer.’ ‘Yeah, he’s pretty disheveled all right. Do you really think he’s homeless?’ ‘Uh, that’s not what I meant. I … you know what? On second thought, let’s just enjoy this beautiful day in silence.’” –Joe Blevins

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!