“It’s the ultra-modern version of ‘The Gift of the Magi.’ The robot she purchased to do her chores was so expensive that she had to sell all her belongings — and there are no chores left to do. So to paraphrase O. Henry, ‘Now it’s party time!’” –BigTed

“If one wants to know how Mary is able to so easily rule over Charterstone, just note that the best educated resident there learned problem solving from old Sylvester and Tweety cartoons.” –Where’s Rocky?

“‘Halp’??? Is Ghost Cat’s other power that he can make people talk like ‘I can haz cheezburger’ lolcats? Is he the ‘ghost’ of a Millennial killed circa 2007, no doubt distracted driving his VW New Beetle while watching Homestar Runner on his Zune?” –Schroduck

“I like to think Sunny and Vixen’s immediate bond is based on mutual antipathy for Ian, and the fact that Vixen has apparently just met Ian makes this interpretation even funnier and no less plausible.” –Violet

“‘That’s a new development.’ In Rex Morgan, M.D.? I doubt it.” –Ettorre

“It appears that Lois has cooked each Flagston a different meal. Their favorites, probably. And they still won’t deign to dine with her!” –Ace

“Actually, Marvin mom is practicing for the glorious day she works up the nerve to stick her head in the oven (she kinda has to ‘warm up to it’ first. Ha, ha, get it?)” –2+2=7

“As Hi and Lois are canonically Millennials, and with rising recession fears, I expect the media to brush off the old chestnut of blaming Millennials for Killing The [Dining Room Furniture] Industry.” –Philip

“I love that Rex is giving, um, Nurse the blankest stare he’s ever blanked! ‘No big deal? But this is about me!’” –Victor Von

“‘I could use the extra holiday cheer. This week … or forever!’ I guess the only question left unanswered is whether it’s suicide or murder/suicide.” –Hibbleton

“Such a sweet story! No wonder Mimi suddenly remembered she was attracted to women and left!” –CanuckDownSouth

“People tend to want their wedding officiants to be someone they know or are close to, which leads to any number of lay people getting an online ordination and when it all inevitably goes bonkers, coming to me shell-shocked, saying ‘I never knew weddings were so crazy.’ I’m telling you now, Coach Luke, hold out for presiding at Gil’s funeral! It’s way simpler and hardly ever involves bridesmaids!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“The reason why nobody is turning into stone is because nobody looks service workers in the eye.” –Charterstone: Dune

“What is the beef that pluggers have with the tradition of naming especially large storms? Do they have some kind of ideological opposition to anthropomorphizing? If so, it’d be pretty hypocritical.” –ectojazzmage

“It’s comforting to me that NASCAR most likely finds Gertie as annoying as I do. Why haven’t they disappeared her? They’ve got the power.” –MKay

“Huh, I always thought that NASCAR was a whole organization, but I see here today that it’s actually just one old guy. Does he have a last name or is this a ‘Madonna’ situation?” –pugfuggly

“Tried to research how long ago it was when Dennis took to wearing a helmet while skateboarding. Because I definitely remember when he didn’t. I guess it is more menacing that he has decided that staying alive as long as possible is more important than looking cool.” –I was told there would be no permanent record.

“I’m glad that Lou’s efforts to cheer Dagwood up have been totally fruitless. Suffer, Bumstead! May none of your disgusting meals fill the spiritual void you feel!” –matt w

“The fact that Dagwood alone constitutes a ‘lunch rush’ is something that should worry everyone involved.” –Guts Dozier

“Anyone here own a top hat? Or seen one? Ever? Yet the Mitchells own one. Look at Henry’s pose, right there. THAT, friends, is the asshole who thought it was cool to dress as Mr. Peanut for Halloween, every year, from 1987 to 2002.” –A Grave Mind

“This whole arc is like a surrealist horror film in premise: a man goes away on business for a few days and comes back to find his wife has for some reason brought a stranger into his house and that stranger seems to exist purely to torment the man. But the stranger is a parrot and the victim is Ian which turns this from a psychological nightmare commenting on themes of masculinity to the feel-good comedy of the year.” –ectojazzmage

“Attaboy, Ian — pour the bird guano on the floor and carpet. It’ll do them wonders.” –Bob Tice

“Oh no, Gil’s got the avian flu, in that he’s dunking his whole head right into that ramen like a duck.” –pugfuggly

“The problem of personalist rule is that it weakens bureaucratic institutions with much better knowledge and memory. For example, Rodney Rat already tried this scheme during the Obama administration, but neither Princess Pussycat nor Slylock remember this. I do, on the other hand, because the Comics Curmudgeon has stored this information and made it retrievable, something that would be useful to impose the iron fist of the state as much as it is to do dick jokes.” –Ettorre

“Judging by the size of that utterly indefensible picture window in the background, the Princess spends far more time worrying about thieves than a human counter-revolution led by Slick Smitty or Viscount Weirdly, who has been co-opted into the regime with a title and a grant sufficient to cover lab expenses.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“After submerging them both in water, the Rational Reynard found the shocking truth: both crowns displaced the same amount of water. Either both were real, or both were fake. If the former, then there were two sovereigns, and civil war must ensue. If the latter, then the royal treasury must be empty, and civil war must ensue. He finally pointed mutely to the one on the left, knowing it didn’t matter, knowing that the fall of the state was inevitable. The once-Vainglorious Vulpine turned, and left the castle to face the brutal future. At least he had Max with him. That would provide a meal or two when the granaries burned and famine set in.” –Voshkod

“There are only two scenarios in which Ian would ever have a ‘University Excellence’ award. One would be if Toby made it and claimed it was delivered in the mail, as an attempt to stop one of her husband’s violent rages. The other would be if he ordered it for himself.” –Lauralot

“‘Oh no! My fragile excellence award, and the Jenga tower I was using to display it!’ My sympathies remain low.” –Ken

“You can leave Hootin’ Holler? There were people living in Hootin’ Holler who could show their faces somewhere else without being chased away by an angry mob? And the strip never showed them to us?” –matt w

“Toni’s idea of foreplay is a perverse mindfuck directed at her unsuspecting sex partner. Remind him of a failed task, then prevent him from correcting his mistake with her feminine charms. The guilt he feels as he takes her in his arms is an aphrodisiac to her twisted brain. Extra pleasure is derived if it involves increased suffering of rival loved ones!” –SabeHombre

“This is how kids learn about the world around them. The snowman melts; Joey doesn’t.” –Hibbleton

“He’s employed me for years despite my laziness and incompetence — so, no, he’s actually a very, very stupid boss!” –BigTed

“Leroy understands the golden rules of comedy: wait next to a large prop for someone to walk by, say something incomprehensible, then explain the joke, which is that you hate your wife. It’s how all the greats got started.” –Navigator

“Ed, you idiot! Those pints of Jeni’s failed Mashed Potato Ice Cream sell for top dollar on the dark web!” –Gil Bates

“And the worst part is that his name has to rhyme! I’ve tried Lancer, Cancer, Necromancer … and they’re all shit! At this point, I’d settle for Hansard, or Panzer, or even The Answer!” –Guts Dozier

“I don’t know how many bowls of ice cream it will take to soothe my discontent, but so far it isn’t two.” –lynn

“Well no, we haven’t discussed holiday plans. Since this dumb book deal is the most interesting attribute about us as a couple, we’ve laser-focused on that topic for months. We haven’t even been able to pay attention to the passage of time. [does double take] Wait is it Christmastime now? Wow, time really does fly, huh.” –2+2=7

“That bird is only saying what everyone is thinking — and also repeating what everyone is saying.” –Boomer

“To be fair to Crock, in my experience ‘I’m drunk‘ is a reliable way to get out of a lot of conversations (relationships, jobs, etc.).” –a.

“You have to wonder about the parents who remain in line with their children. They can see, right? They know what awaits them at the front of the line, correct? ‘Just twenty more minutes, Tyler, and you can be the one awkwardly perched on the lab of the unsettling pizza box automaton.’” –Joe Blevins

“Henry wears a lot of layers for just reading the paper at home. Maybe he’s one of those low-thermostat guys (laudable).” –Joe Friday I’m In Love, on Bluesky

“Writers advise avoiding ‘shoe leather,’ the depiction of how characters get from one scene to the next. Just go straight from one interesting part to the other, they advise. These writers never had to fit a two-panel joke into a Sunday strip.” –matt w

“One of my peeves is comics that mix speech balloons for adult humans with thought balloons for animals and babies yet both supposedly work as communication with others so I guess we’re to assume that horrifying telepathy exists in these worlds and nobody says anything about it. However, if a thought balloon was just a thought balloon, it makes this comic actually amusing if it’s just a bartender staring at the dog sitting at his bar with a big stupid grin on its face, unaware that its joke wouldn’t make sense even if anyone could hear it.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Look at that smile and sudden healthy glow in the third panel, we’re about to launch into Gil Thorp’s Day Off.” –Charles Louis Richter, on Bluesky

“That’s some look on Hi’s face in the last panel. He knows he’ll surely die if he sticks around to watch this racy(?) action-packed(?) film, but he’s going to anyways. It’s like if they made The Ring for middle-aged dads.” –pugfuggly

“Thor lives in the emptiest cave ever half-imagined into existence. Get some rock-based furniture, a fire pit, some skins, guano, anything to liven the place up!” –Victor Von

“I don’t blame Ian for being upset. After all, Othello’s autograph is pretty rare.” –seismic-2

“You have to respect Sunny’s ability to distinguish Ian’s possessions from Toby’s. Though maybe Toby put all her stuff safely away a couple days ago, when she realized parrots have no bowel control.” –Ken

“‘Sir Richard Wellbottom’ sounds like an adult film star who specializes in Shakespeare parodies: Much Ado About Pegging, King Leer, Romeo and Juliet and Rosaline…” –TheDiva

“If there’s one thing Herb loves, it’s staring off into the middle distance while making smug faces for no reason as a mysterious omnipotent narrator rambles incoherently.” –ectojazzmage

“Some might point out that Ian’s accusation doesn’t really imply the bird can read at all, as there’s a number of simpler ways a parrot could notice an association between the Playbill and Ian. However, that actually makes Toby’s accusation itself logically consistent, as she herself can’t read and assumes that Ian’s daily wistful stroking of the cover is what constitutes the act.” –NotImportant

“Of course birds can’t read! But Othello is a play, they just need to listen and watch it! Think, Toby, think!” –Ettorre

“Due to the scrawly font I misread ‘platforms’ as ‘flatworms’ and, honestly, I think it was an improvement. Alice would at least have an opinion on those.” –Hergen

“And so the fumbling attempt to unionize Dithers & Co comes to an abrupt end. The workers shouldn’t have picked a foreman who’d sell them out not even for spare ribs, but for the idea of spare ribs.” –Schroduck