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Metapost: Jack Elrod, 1924-2016 (plus COTW)

Very sad news in the comics world yesterday: Jack Elrod, the longtime writer and artist of Mark Trail, died at the age of 91. While he didn’t create the strip, he was in charge of it for nearly 30 years, and my fascination with his earnest and entertaining style was a huge factor in getting me to start this blog. Everyone who knew him seemed to think he was great, and this obituary has some great stories about him. I’m glad the strip is in the hands of James Allen, who’s carrying on his legacy, and I’m sorry James has lost a friend. Let’s all salute the Elrod Ball one more time in his honor!

But we the living must carry on, and let’s enjoy this comment of the week:

“This outpouring of Anti-Dutch sentiment in Dennis’s classroom is justified. The world watched in horror as the newly-proclaimed Greater Dutch Rijk flouted all treaties and agreements, brutally annexing Belgium, Luxembourg and parts of Normandy. A true menace always goes through Belgium.” –Gen. von Buxhoevden

And the runners up are very enjoyable as well!

Funeral arrangements are pending. If only we could all be so lucky, dear reader.” –rbmalpha

“Oh. I thought it was funny because the schoolchildren are being poisoned by their own society. I guess I just haven’t got the hang of Shoe’s humor yet.” –Eric

“I dunno, I think the Six Chix drawings are ALL HAIL OUR NEW MASTER, DEMON PIG!” –Steve S

“I can’t wait for John Locher Springstein to tell his origin story. ‘You know how I got into this job? It’s because of a man who used to wear this vest. A man I made a solemn promise to, long ago. I swore I would bring down Chuck Berry for ripping off Johnnie B. Goode from him, all those years ago.’” –Doctor Handsome

“The Paleo exhibit depicts one of the ancient Mole Rat’s most important daily activities. There are many theories as to why the entire species later developed blindness.” –Mikey

“I return to my previous assertion that this is the laziest Catcher in the Rye reboot in history. Mary Holden and Olive Phoebe go to the museum, where ‘you could go there a hundred thousand times and … nobody’d be different. The only thing that would be different would be you.’ They go to the show, that’s ‘not as bad as some I’ve seen. It was on the crappy side, though.’ Now they’re going skating, where Mary and Olive will no doubt ‘be the worst skaters on the whole goddamn rink. And there were some lulus.’ Will we get a flashback to Dr. Jeff’s disgusting razor, all gunked up with soap and hair? Will Olive wake up when Mary is patting her hair while she sleeps? Will it all end on the merry-go-round? Will Mary force a comic Salinger out of hermitage with her relentless advice? At least the Mary Worth audience is unlikely to contain teens who might try to use the storyline to avoid reading the book, and spectacularly fail all of their assignments.” –rocketbride

“More horrifying is the inky blackness of Death is now retreating from the dead fish, now that he has reaped his terrible harvest.” –Ethan Shuster

“Mostly due to arson. We get up to a whole lotta arson in the country, dad.” –Torquil Colbo, on Facebook

“Once CNBC reported this literally-sweating-the-price-of-a-jacket thing, the great LodgeCo selloff began. If the government hadn’t designated Mr. Lodge ‘too big to fail,’ Veronica would be wearing burlap by Christmas.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Archie, I’m going to attempt to relate to you now. Now let’s see, it’s been a while, but I think teens address each other by … staring intently at the nape of the neck, then immediately turning away without eye contact? Yeah, that sounds about right.” –Dan

“In panel one, the dog looks on in helpless horror, knowing that his master is about to be devoured by a clowder of feral cats but is helpless to stop it. In panel two, he’s just miffed because he knows the greedy buggers won’t even leave him a thigh bone to chew on.” –TheDiva

“Gasoline Alley’s scrapbook obsession is now officially a cry for help, probably euthanasia.” –C. Sandy Cyst

I’m at that in-between age. I don’t know if I live in the 1950s or the 1980s! And what the fuck is a Spongebob?” –Chyron HR

“If ‘best shot’ refers to photography, then I hope Peter caught Namor’s Blue Steel pose in panel 2.” –A Concerned Reader

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
  • Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Metapost: Funny comments are funny

Ahoy matey! It be your comment of the week!

“Though the cookie tasted like hot garbage, Olive couldn’t help but smile at the groveling wreck of a human being whose hopes were obliterated before her eyes. Mary had promised her entertainment, and Mary had delivered.” –Vincent Watkins

Abandoning that ill-conceived pirate voice, here are your hilarious runners up:

“I mean physically of course — emotionally we were done years ago.” –Tigernan Douglas Quinn, on Facebook

“Hmmm. The crossword puzzle. Silly me. I thought Shylock had figured it out by Max’s femur bones being located (a) in the ashtray and (b) next to the gaudy green phone that completely throws off the room’s ambiance.” –See Spot thrash

“Notice that it says Willy ‘nabbed’ Max Mouse, not kidnapped. I don’t believe this to be a ransom or sex slave situation. Rather, it’s a good old-fashioned citizen’s arrest of a tyrant’s lackey. The local press is anything but sympathetic, printing a front page spread akin to reports of third world dictators being assassinated.” –Irrischano

‘I’m an English governess, June.’ [leans forward] ‘I have seen some shit.’” –Dan

Neil deNnis Menace” –new york values haver, on Twitter

“Did you know that in 1982 Kenny Loggins married his colon therapist? There, that’s something more interesting that the comic presented, and fits within the theme of a cat being propelled upwards by an unknown force from his rear.” –pugfuggly

Antipodes, Joey. Not ‘anty-poads.’ God. Pick up a fucking book sometime. I’m starting to think I am gonna marry Margaret when I grow up.” –Windier E. Megatons

“Gabe mansplained before Mark could even whip out his mansplainer! Fact-blocked!” –Baka Gaijin

“Pluggers never need more than the one book.” –rbmalpha

“Another thing to like about Mary Worth is how Olive is stuffing cookies into her mouth in practically every panel. It’s the only child-like thing she’s ever done in this strip. Maybe she was just hypoglycemic this whole time?” –Marcus Theory

“That is the laziest imaginary girlfriend story in history. Francis has only the vaguest understanding of what he’s even supposed to be lying about. ‘I know girlfriends kiss you, whatever that is, so I’ll just just say kiss, over and over! It’s a masterpiece of deception!’” –Doctor Handsome

“I’m sure that little cloud in panel two is supposed to indicate Dot’s breath in the winter air. I prefer to think that Mr. Wavering’s story so horrified Trixie that she inadvertently farted.” –Pozzo

“I know new technology is exciting, but patients will probably respond better to telehealth if their doctor doesn’t deliver a diagnosis while bragging to a child through a mouthful of patty melt.” –Dan

“Trixie’s long and incredibly squicky march to adulthood begins with her burgeoning suspicion that Mr. Sunbeam is married.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Man, is Namor jacked or what? We must be polluting the ocean with HGH.” –Rusty

“Here’s the how-to video. If these guys can give birth to basketballs, why should we have any trouble? I mean, they don’t even have wombs. NBA? More like NB-NO-WAY. As in, no way did he do that without an epidural.” –made of wince

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
  • Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Metapost: Let’s get COTWy

Would you like to read this week’s comment that I enjoyed the most? Here it is!

“John knows how to approach Mary Worth — slowly, palms open, arms at 3 and 9.” –Joe Blevins

Also here are your runners up, which you should also enjoy!

“I just want to know what misdeeds Mark Trail committed to cause him to be sentenced to community service, as an instructor for Continuing Education For Crustaceans.” –Irrischano

Solely from fish? I guess if I ever thought about it, I would have imagined this is the sort of thing we might see if this comic strip ever attempted witty wordplay.” –Mustang

“From what I can tell, it would appear that Robbie has accidentally barged in on JJ watching some sort of Spider-man themed pornography involving a blue disco elf and a burly seaman and is properly horrified yet transfixed. The moment of truth is coming, and by ‘moment of truth,’ I mean JJ.” –Dread

“…they also have salt and pepper shakers covered in the grease of a thousand awful breakfasts and… I don’t know, napkins? That’s something a restaurant has, right?” –rbmalpha

“Mary and Olive’s relationship has officially become a hostage situation. I just can’t tell which way around it is.” –C. Sandy Cyst

This was a missed opportunity for the ‘Spay/Neuter Your Pet’ people.” –Cosmo Jones, Crime Smasher

“I feel like Roz’s wine list is just a slip of paper with ‘BOONE’S’ in 96-point font.” –Doctor Handsome

“Today, Herb and Jamaal is changing format to become a dystopian science fiction satire about consumerism, where the drone-like populace shuffles back and forth, obsessing over and exchanging blank, meaningless white boxes only referred to as a ‘Product.’ They stand in long queues, sleeping overnight to purchase the new and improved Product. ‘Product 22 is obsolete. I must buy Product 23. The Product is good. The Product is life.’” –Ethan Shuster

“You spend your childhood in New York City and already you get kind of blasé about a lot of things. How many surprises does this world hold for you? Then you realize you’ve never seen two old people win a cake decorating contest.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“At least the Snow Angel has freakishly wide hips. All the better for … birthing … whatever mutant … baby … sorry, I have to go now.” –The Might Untrained FOOZLE

Antimatter explosions release energy through ionizing radiation. Ionizing radiation is used to treat cancer. All in all, a fitting end to Westview.” –Zooty

“Oh, sure — standing around with no pants on while a seductive (?) angel gives you a come-hither look sounds good in theory, but in sub-freezing temperatures, his junk has no doubt shrunk like a turtle retreating into its shell.” –Pozzo

“Look at John Dill’s fist squeeze that piping bag as he dreams of his sweet sweet Mary slathered in cake flowers like American Beauty. Olive can see inside his mind and just look at her face.” –lorne

John is an expert at creeping me out.” –Peanut Gallery

“Biology fact: Pregnant pugs don’t get larger, they just grow extra ripples which eventually distend, detach, and grow into new pugs. This is a biological process known as ‘pugging.’” –Dan

“That guy who apparently has a veritable swiss army knife of different species’ genitals sure is a playa, I tell you what! Ah, this one’s going up on the fridge.” –Jack loves comics

“The lady is talking to her TV remote because no one likes her, her pets are dead, and she’s just as terrible at taxidermy as she is at making friends or taking care of animals. TGIF everyone!” –Alex Blaze

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.