Archive: metaposts

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Your comment of the week! Here it is! The best one! I decree it!

Yesterday we learn today is World Sleep Day, and today Dagwood is celebrating by not only being conscious at work, but also actively good at his job? He’s not even putting people to sleep with his presentation! #NotMyDag” –Drew Funk

And your runners up! Also very funny!

“I was going to complain about the ‘Elsewhere’ narration suggesting that the kidnappers immediately manifested at Warbucks’ place, but the business about it being 8 o’clock makes clear that they did immediately manifest at Warbucks’ place. Are Sirob and Warbucks working out of the same building? That’ll make for some awkward elevator conversation.” –matt w

“[crossing off ‘Hawaii’ and ‘Arizona excluding the Navajo Nation’ on my massive conspiracy board of where the Flagstons live]” –Schroduck

“The saddest day of my life was the time I didn’t realize it was the day I needed to adjust my clocks until I read Hi and Lois. I swear, if I ever learn anything from Dustin I’m walking into a forest never to interact with civilization again.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“The real crime mystery is who stole Slick Smitty’s nipples.” –Baja Gaijin

“God the look on that beaver’s face is bleak. And for good reason: even his pre-‘event’ ancestors were hydraulic engineers, and here he is sweeping out chimneys like a common squirrel. Looks like the revolution didn’t pan out for everyone.” –pugfuggly

“I also thought it was Jeffy speaking the first line, and that the woman had a great comeback. Adults should get a chance to say a darndest thing once in a while, too!” –Peanut Gallery

“How exactly do you know someone’s dead in Judge Parker? Because stiff, wooden and cold ain’t exactly a dividing line here.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“It’s either this or a gun obsession. Yay?” –taig

“The elevator inspector’s face looks like it’s tired of telling the gasoline lobbyists that, yes, while it’s technically possible to create a lift that is powered directly by fossil fuels, ventilation safety and the absolutely certaint carbon monoxide poisoning mean he cannot approve it and they must use electricity. That is the spark that broke the stranglehold of gasoline on this backward city.” –Philip

“Todays Mary Worth is giving me a definite ‘Recently-retired readers! Are you in a black depression because, absent your former work, your life lacks structure and purpose? Have you considered a hobby?’ feeling.” –Ken

“At last, the kind of wrestling I’m used to seeing on TV. If they start smashing each other with folding chairs, this will finally be an amateur sport worth watching. ‘Can you smell what the [public school student who probably took this up just to get out of running drills in gym class and now might be arrested for attempted manslaughter] is cooking?!!!’” –BigTed

“The word’s also out that the only sexually available female at Camp Swampy loves Rodgers and Hammerstein. Tomorrow: Killer, Plato, Rocky, and Zero perform ‘There is Nothing Like a Dame,’ and get court-martialed for being waaaay out of uniform.” –ValdVin

“Are we sure these three characters just like to sleep? We have a middle-aged man stuck in a dead-end job with an abusive boss, a soldier without career advancements with a physically abusive sergeant, and a cat trapped indoors without stimuli. Maybe they are all just clinically depressed.” –Ettorre

“Here’s the thing that bothers me. If the ‘slug’ in ‘slugfest’ refers to literal slugs, rather than slugging someone, there’s nothing in there that suggests it’s a fight at all. Would this be funnier if these bewildered boxing fans were instead watching a crowd of slugs partying it up at SlugFest of the Century, the centennial gastropod convention? Perhaps not, but it wouldn’t be any less funny either.” –Horace Broon

“You have to sympathize with Harry here. It’s pretty hard to get it up when your spouse cannot get through a simple act of procreation without rambling about cheap places to buy abandoned children.” –jroggs

“They’re in the business of old-timey presentation paperboards and pointing sticks. And business is … not good.” –Bill Loguidice

“I recognize that car — it’s a TP Cruiser.” –Dyna Moe

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby, and that means it’s time for the comment of the week!

“It looks like they’re playing Grawlix Theft Auto.” –taig

Your runners up are also fantastic!

“It’s a dull old town when the most exciting date you can have is watching a mouse dig a hole.” –MKay

“‘See the movie A Christmas Story’? I’m pretty sure one of the basic rules of live theater is that you don’t make recommendations to the audience about better things they could be watching right now in the comfort of their own homes.” –Peanut Gallery

“I just noticed that Dustin is slightly smiling in panel 2, and nowhere else. I wonder if he heard the car coming, smiled, and walked onto the street on purpose, finally hoping to end it all. Makes the last panel more poignant. ‘Uneventful, as usual. No one will ever free me from the hell that is my life.’” –JamesBont

“The cold temperature of the fridge slows down the multiplication of the lice. We’ve never seen an oxpecker in Pluggers, have we?” –lynn

“Of course Mary can read about increasing climate change-related disasters, multiple regional conflicts with global implications, and the rising specter of authoritarianism and go ‘Ha-ha, crazy world we live in, amirite?’ None of it will ever touch her; the worst that will happen is Wilbur making a fool of himself during the wildfire pre-evacuation.” –TheDiva

“Gizmo is cutting edge. In these days of network breaches and software hacks, a password manager would be vulnerable. But nobody’s going to get Gizmo’s big book o’ passwords without first gaining physical access to a military installation. Now, that military installation just happens to be Camp Swampy, so he probably might as well just store them in plain text on a Google Sheet.” –richard8

“Regardless of what’s happening in today’s Dennis the Menace, they seem to have gotten their money’s worth from whoever had to color in Alice’s floral pattern shirt.” –nescio

“In light of his eating habits, it’s scary to imagine what morsels get caught between Dagwood’s teeth. Herring bones, apple seeds, bits of aluminum foil. Flossing him would be like cleaning the slot in one’s kitchen between the refrigerator and the countertop.” –Tom T.

“I assumed there was an anagram hidden in Keith Hillend’s name, like Aldo Kelrast’s. Sadly, ‘Kill, Then Hide’ never became part of the story, as exciting as it sounds.” –astroboy

“Mark Trail apparently does not eat Jello. That’s OK; I never expected him to. After dinner he goes out and forages for berries and tree sap.” –seismic-2

“‘No, I’m serious. I recently watched an NHK documentary on how the cherry blossoms now regularly start about ten days to two weeks earlier than what used to be normal just 50 years ago, due to climate change.’ ‘I see, so even these flowers, which normally recall thoughts of springtime and new growth, are harbingers of a lurking menace that will destroy life as we know it in karmic retribution for humanity’s own folly and selfishness … much like my neighbor, Keith Hillend!’” –one other spoon

“The Mayor of Gasoline Alley, like most Americans, isn’t in the habit of checking in with any of the main characters of Gasoline Alley. In fact, that may be what qualifies her most to be a leader of these rubes.” –Philip

“Billy gets those comics with the black dotted lines that show his easily distracted journey through his home or neighborhood. We don’t get those for Jeffy because it would just be a couple of straight lines from the precarious chair to the floor to the hospital.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Tomorrow on The Family Circus: ‘Why do they call it lime disease, Mommy? Because it makes me feel sour?’” –Voshkod

“Imagine you’re kissing someone, they’re running their hand through your hair. Then you look up and see they’re wearing a bright purple glove on their left hand only, as Gil is in panel 2. Psycho behavior.” –Schroduck

“Once again, this strip doesn’t seem to deliver a punchline per se, just another disgusting scenario for us to consider. Hey, did you know that Marvin is dirty and stinks? Stinks of excrement and other filth, I’ll bet.” –pugfuggly

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Hi folks! Your COTW in a moment but first … Dropout, the streaming service from the College Humor folks, has a great geek-culture panel game show called Um, Actually, and I wrote some questions and jokes for the new season! The first episode is up now, and features several of my questions, including one that readers of this blog will see and say “Oh my GOD that is DEFINITELY a question Josh wrote, huh.” Anyway, the show is super fun and I urge you to check it out! (And if you have Dropout, you might also want to check out WTF 101, an animated show from a few years back that I did research for.)

But enough about me! This metapost is all about you, and your funny comments, including the comment of the week!

“The gloomiest thing is that Andy Bear picked up that line from Dead Poets Society. If you were a teenager crushing on Ethan Hawke or Alexandra Powers in that movie, you’re a plugger now! I don’t make the rules, the inexorable march of Time does.” –matt w

It’s also about the very funny runners up!

“The plugger isn’t speaking Latin, God forbid. Turnovers made for bears are, of course, actually filled with carp.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Usually when you hear about a pair of 3 inch heels, it’s 3 inches in height, not length.” –nescio

“Mary forgot to say ‘the neighboring town’ to modify Taft. Toby will have no idea!” –But What Do I Know?

“At this point, Rex Morgan’s writers are just messing with us. You can’t accidentally write a strip where two boring characters sit around listing more exciting things they could be doing.” –Victor Von

“I always love when the comics try to do a strike story, because it always feels like a 7 year old’s idea of the world. Some unspecified workers have walked off the unspecified job, so Dithers is going to use the most powerful union-busting technique he knows: going up to the laziest, most pliant worker he knows individually and asking him nicely.” –Schroduck

“Gertie has successfully gotten the town’s oldest man to drink the spiked soup with the memory-wiping drug. Now no one can stop the council’s diabolical plan that involves renaming the town somehow.” –Morgan Wick

“In tonight’s dreams, Gil Thorp is going to see those scarves extending, entwining, then wrapping around him and smothering him. Just goes to show, never reunite with your family.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“One thing you can say about Walt is that he takes the second commandment very seriously. No fancy, painted images of things in heaven or on Earth for him. Just plain white canvases as God intended, dammit!” –Old Man Shadow

“Plan your Spring escape in style! Whatever your next move, you’ll be ready for action. This chic cashmere-blend outfit in an elegant mauve is perfect for a last-minute getaway! The close-fitting bodice is accentuated at the natural waist by a buttoned accent belt at the back, with a pleated skirt that drapes beautifully whether standing still or on the run! Slightly puffed sleeves at the shoulder ease the form-fitting, cuffed long sleeves for complete freedom of movement, so you can wave away admirers, or hail a taxi in comfort. Add the silk-lined kid gloves and matching pumps in spring’s latest color, Cement, and top off your outfit with a mauve cashmere beanie. Get the look, on sale now at Sacks.” –Charterstoned

YOU KNOW IT IS BRILLIANT DRAMA BECAUSE THERE IS LOTS OF YELLING!!!!” –Peanut Gallery

“Yes, Keith is quite a serious conventional man, unlike the weird and wacky characters that Mary usually surrounds herself with! Why there’s the stodgy professor, the boring advice column writer, the doctor whose entire personality is ‘boat’, the women who are so indistinctive they could swap places without anyone noticing and … others, presumably? Anyhow, it’s amazing that Keith feels at home in this free-spirited commune of kooky characters.” –pugfuggly

“We’re getting to eat some of the stuff Keith brought back from the stables. He says it’s edible, and I have no reason to distrust him.” –taig

“This is why we shouldn’t let children read Richard Lovelace and other Cavalier poets. Dennis recognized the message of ‘To Althea, from Prison’ and now knows his mind and soul are free even if his body is not. And the Roundheads like Mr. Wilson will know fear when Dennis grabs ‘a sword, a horse, a shield’ and works on restoring the Stuart monarchy. Next time make the kids read Tennyson or Keats or Marvell or other poets who won’t encourage this strange mix of being libertarians and absolute monarchists.” –KMD

“‘He’s learning farrier skills at the local stable.’ That’s quite a euphemism for ‘Keith is riding that old mare Kitty like there’s no tomorrow, and he also has a foot fetish.’” –brendancalling

Thanks, dear. We’re all good at something. You’re a talented artist and a great friend! See? I’m good at telling people what they want to hear! Now eat up, dear. Your food isn’t getting any grayer!” –Chance

“Mary’s idea of great friend is someone who will listen to your prattle, ask inane questions, accept platitudes as wisdom, and praise you. Toby is, all in all, less work than a dog.” –richardf8

“Curtis realizes that having physical media is the only way of ensuring you have access to it for years to come, and at that price, he must be into vinyl too. Good for him, that li’l forward-thinking hipster rascal.” –Tabby Lavalamp

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!