Archive: metaposts

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Do you like … funny comments? Do you want to read this week’s top comment? Here it is!

“Indonesian political turmoil during the 1960s? Actually, that dog-plugger’s scar was caused by too much scratching of a skin infection, during the Year of Living Mangerously.” –seismic-2

Do you want to read this week’s hilarious runners up, as well? Here they are!

“Jughaid is not wearing a coonskin cap — that’s his real hair. He’s heard of this hipster trend and has the ponytail part down pretty well, but this man bun thing he’s still trying to figure out just what that means.” –popamatic

“Not that arguing the point will do Jughaid much good in a town with only one teacher, but I’d question the validity of a report card given out by someone who just scrawled out ‘REPORT CARD‘ in pencil on a random sheet of copier paper while wearing a vindictive grin.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Maybe this can of ‘wholesome salmon in spring water’ will help. Or does that say ‘whole salmon on a spring’? Or is this the can with the typographic error in which I trapped the soul of Alex Salmond, former First Minster of Scotland? No, this must be the canned remains of Salmon P. Chase, Lincoln’s Chief Justice. I really need to can less Salmons, or buy some reading glasses.” –Voshkod

“Mary seems to be making salmon squares, but the idea that’s occurred to her may be to encourage Wynter to return to his home town, find a mate, then die.” –cheech wizard

“I hate to say it, but I think Mary has been inspired to start selling canned dog.” –Foodar

“I’m guessing the original punchline was something along the lines of ‘He’s always cramming it in my can!’ before an editor stepped in.” –pugfuggly

“So Spider-Man’s intrepid trio knew the villains weren’t going to be there but decided to show up anyway? Once again Peter Parker saves the day by going where evil isn’t and not punching anybody.” –Escape Zeppelin

“Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just rent a boardroom and a couple of gas masks?” –TheDiva

“Kid, we live in a rodent-infested home littered with what I only hope are animal remains. Unless a visit from DCFS is on that list, you ain’t gettin’ it.” –Joe Blevins

“You’re a plugger when your touchstone for stories of things that happened in someone’s youth reference World War II, even though that was the previous generation, and everyone who fought in that war is already dead.” –Emily Riposte

“Having known my share of pluggers, lemme tell ya — it doesn’t take anything as dramatic as a scar. Just move one of their many pill bottles to a slightly different spot in the medicine cabinet. It’ll become their Game of Thrones.” –Chrissy the Stooges Woman

“I’m no doctor, but I’m fairly certain scar tissue doesn’t grow on top of fur. This is obviously just a matted clump of filth, and the plugger is lying to his grandson because it’s the only acceptable form of plugger entertainment that isn’t ‘waiting to die.’” –Rosstifer

“You know what other classic character was basically ‘The Lone Ranger in space’? Space Ghost. Y’know who his sidekicks were? A couple kids and A CHIMP. So begins my exhaustive 12-part YouTube documentary Fake Geek Boy: The Story of Mopey Pete.” –Wolfbane42

“Is every Mark Trail strip this week going to end with the exact same drawing of Rusty looking dumbly up from his phone and asking some variation of ‘now what?’ Because I’m on board with that. Especially if Mara’s head continues to grow larger every panel, until she finally answers his repeated question and devours Rusty, phone and all.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“…and, so, we’re giving that space gorilla cancer.” –Where’s Rocky

“Coating the walls of your apartment in framed photos of your dog is one thing. Saul has gone a step further and arranged them so that it looks like they’re all looking at the front door. How could anyone not appreciate the effort when they come in, only to be greeted by dozens upon dozens of beady little chihuahua eyes, all of them glazed over with an expression that is equal parts hate and vacuity?” –Lionheart

“Okay, who just got thumbprints all over their screen? Besides me?” –Schrödinger’s Droopy

“Why is Mopey Pete so hung up on this child sidekick issue? No one even brought it up. Unless… does he actually think chimpanzees are gorilla children?” –jroggs

Cranberry juice is the primary ingredient in cosmopolitans, which leads me to the disturbing conclusion that Big Daddy Keane is a total Carrie.” –Jenna

“See. You all asked for it. This disturbingly long-winded rant about a light-hearted subject is what happens when the smirking stops.” –Tonya

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Why it’s Friday, which is our day to enjoy the week’s top comment!

“No one in this comic has a lower jaw. Why is steak even on the menu?” –A Concerned Reader

And we also enjoy the runners up on this fine day as well. They’re hilarious!

“Tfw you read it as ‘having to go number four‘ and are wondering what the living conditions in colonial North Africa have done to the human excretory system” –Carl Lund, on Facebook

“In the last panel, Marvin’s thinking, ‘That’s all you got? I could have gotten off three perfectly good poop jokes in the time it took you to make one lousy gold pun.’” –Pozzo

“Did you know that Humboldt Martins are incredibly high all the time? After raiding the marijuana, they’d roll the leaves with their tiny little paws, and light them with their tiny little lighters. And now they’re endangered! You can believe all this ‘pesticide’ and ‘habitat’ crap that the syndicate is forcing me to say, but you must know what the true menace here is!” –Dimensionalotter

“If you’re trying to sell Millennials on golf, I don’t think this is the best platform for it. Don’t you have access to a Snapchat or a Waze or whatever?” –TheDiva

“It took exactly 100 years, but Mutt and Jeff’s hipster mustaches and thrift-store formalwear have finally come back into style. But they’d better hurry — in certain parts of Brooklyn and Portland, Hi and Lois-style ‘suburban backyard normcore’ is about to be the next big thing.” –BigTed

“Mary, did you hear? Old Man Wynter’s dog has died. Yes, Fenrir, beast of slaughter, has died, and the Fates are in turmoil. Can the Fimbulwynter come without the wolf that devours the sky? Who will Víðarr kill if the wolf is dead? Anyway, I’m off to see Jörmungandr, the world-encircling serpent, to see if we can save Ragnarök and bring down the gods. Wish me luck?” –Voshkod

“Ha! It’s funny because, in real life, Ed would have suffered third-degree burns and probably died! But instead, he’s just bewildered and covered in soot like Wile E. Coyote after an Acme malfunction! Tell me again how someone in this same fictional universe had cancer and we were supposed to care about it.” –Joe Blevins

“Hmm … an early 2000s Toyota Tercel … and it’s been freshly chewed…” –pugfuggly

“Like steampunk, Hi and Lois is a curious paradox. On the one hand, today’s strip wouldn’t make sense before the invention of mobile phones, but on the other, it relies entirely on 1950s values (housewives, henpecked husbands, wearing suits to work, boozy workday lunch). Is there a name for this aesthetic? Picketpunk?” –Schroduck

My wife doesn’t tell me what to order for lunch! She couldn’t anyway, we haven’t spoken in months.” –Ettore

“All right, I think I figured out what’s up with Toby and her attitude toward dogs. Her name is Toby. She probably heard ‘oh, that’s what our dog was called!’ a thousand too many times, and now finds only grim satisfaction in the mortality of those beloved pets.” –pachoo

“It’s starting to get boring? Has Dennis not been reading his own strip all these decades?” –JJ48

“We’re not even gonna address the fact that Beetle and Sarge have laid out a multi-course meal with wine, as is definitely super-appropriate for a drill sergeant and his private? Okay then, how about the incongruously informal chairs, which suggest Sarge and Beetle put this romantic meal together themselves on the DL, and Beetle is absolutely right to ask why Sarge is taking pictures.” –Dan

Hagar the Horrible almost made me laugh out loud for Helga’s whiplash-inducing appearance in the strip. ‘Hamlet: How much do you know about ancient history? Hagar: Well son, it depends on– Helga: (there) HE KNOWS ENOUGH NOT TO REPEAT IT! Hagar: GAHH! I told you to carry tic tacs!’ Honestly, she looks tired. I’m worried about Helga.” –Maggie

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Hey all! It’s the first Friday of the month, so you know what that means: The Internet Read Aloud is happening in LA! Come see me and these funny people be funny!

Here is the Facebook event, which tells you all the details!

And now … your comment … of … the week!

“As if Dick Tracy doesn’t already depict The City as an authoritarian hellscape, apparently their first day of school is on Labor Day. Screw you, socialists! The only union we need is the all-powerful police union that keeps Dick out of The Chair!” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

And the runners up! Very funny!

“I get that it’s hard to frame tribute strips like this within the comic’s universe, but I find it hilarious that Hi seems to be just learning now about his creator from a book of cartoonists that’s lying around the house. I’d say that his reaction to finding out God was born in 1923 is pretty muted, but I guess the creator in His wisdom didn’t supply him with a wide range of emotions to work with.” –pugfuggly

“OK, it’s official: ‘Unpleasant Ernest Borgnine‘ here is the best character Mary Worth has ever had. How far will Mary go to force him to be nice? Let’s just say there’s always a breaking point where Florence Nightingale turns into Nurse Ratched.” –BigTed

“Literally the only thing I want from any of my exes is to resurface briefly in my life, give me some validation that I’m better looking now, and then die somewhere else a week later. Thanks, Rex Morgan.” –Lorne

“What have we learned today? In any sort of crisis, Toby will use Mary as a human shield.” –Joe Blevins

“So are we just letting the name ‘Ms. Gator‘ slide? Did she marry into the Gators? Was she adopted? Is she some reptile/mammal hybrid who looks human on the outside, but underneath is scaly and cold-blooded? Am I watching too much V?” –Daniel Kerr, on Facebook

“‘Why don’t we ever talk about human-on-human crime?’ will be Slylock’s defense when Slick Smitty dies of the massive injuries he sustained while ‘resisting arrest.’” –TheDiva

“Now, stop arguing and help me figure out how many pounds of gear Bella will be able to carry on my expedition to the Andes next month.” –Peanut Gallery

“Hey! Let me bring up something you’re probably proud of, but I’ll come just shy of actually praising you for it. Speaking of not complimenting you, here’s an insult.” –JJ48

“Speaking of shedding disguises, Mary came dangerously close to uttering ‘or his little dog, too’ in that last panel.” –Where’s Rocky

“Come now, Coach Thorp. This will all go much smoother if you just answer my questions. Tell me the names of the players. You don’t want me to use this stun gun again, do you?” –jroggs

“Talk about punishment. Dennis has to sit in the Hipster Chair, with its ironic fancy mustache. Alice is a monster.” –Voshkod

“Are you saying underneath his gruff exterior, he’s… [furiously scrolling on phone for Depression-era references] Dale Carnegie? [mutters] God I need to meet some young people.” –Dan

“Self-insert, Military Base AU fanfic of Lady and the Tramp, by 8Otto8″ –Ettorre

“What’s more disturbing to me is that the text on the door doesn’t actually tell you the hours, only the days. I mean, get on the stick, people! Dolly’s got an earworm called ‘9 to 5.’” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“The early feedback on Uber’s new chiropractic therapy offering is not good.” –Foodar

“It’s not the theater; the play has structural problems. In Act II, Roderick explains his polo injury before he’s even been onstage limping, and in the end Anabelle declares her love for Randolph, despite having previously sang an entire song about what a dunce he is. It’s out at the script doctor’s right now, giving slightly obsessive gunsel Rocco and his boys a chance to go nuts with the yellow ‘closed’ tape.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I have no idea what Marty and Gil are talking about here, but I look forward to a future in which they have to repeat that dialogue exchange every day, for all eternity, in the ‘Was a Total Dick’ circle of hell.” –Sally

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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