“These are hate handles, so I’d better draw them in a way I’m sure the audience will hate.” –pachoo

“You’re a remarkable girl, Olive. Unlike all the dullards I’m surrounded by here. Hey, you! [in the third panel] Go stand in the corner.” –Hibbleton

“Oh, Mary, you’ve really outdone yourself here — lecturing at someone with your thoughts, when you know she’s the only person who can hear them! Olive, meanwhile, is turning up her noise-canceling headphones on the plane, but nothing can cancel the cacophony of a long-winded lady’s psychic signals. If nothing else helps, she’ll have to try to drown them out with some of that Zeppelin and Creedence and Stones music, which all the Boomers at Charterstone kept trying to convince her is better than Taylor.” –BigTed

“Yes, you CAN buy a shepherd’s crook online. These are wonderful times we live in.” –MKay

“As someone who has skydived (for realsies, twice, and I appreciate the opportunity to bring this up) the utter lack of concern Sarge has for Beetle’s safety was shocking to the core until I remembered that he has broken every bone and damaged every organ in the private’s body on multiple occasions and the dude keeps bouncing back, more or less, so Snorkle has no reason to believe that the main parachute failing in any way would be a death sentence for the private. The years of concussions would also help explain how Bailey is able to sleep standing up.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“In panel one, Thel suddenly notices that her son has no forehead. In panel two, she massages one into existence. Ain’t claymation wonderful?” –Peanut Gallery

“Mother Goose and Grimm is totally fine today. Everyone knows that gravity pulls stuff towards the ground and Hell, being below the ground, has opposite gravity.” –Earl

“I respect the use of an ancient trope, and I feel that I am somehow deprived in that I have never actually been told to ‘Shhhh’ by a librarian. That tears it! To the library! The liquor store is on the way!” –A Grave Mind

“Chip is not in the library, since he’s busy sniffing glue or smoking pot. Your parents can’t see your eyes are red if they cannot see your eyes!” –Ettorre

“If the nerds can handle Eric, a presumably drunken man wearing a purple pinstripe suit and a gravity-defying hat, I’m sure they can handle a little window-tapping.” –Guts Dozier

“The worst thing is, I’m pretty sure this counts as foreplay for the Kudlicks.” –Schroduck

“Mary thumbs through the Guinness Book to see if there’s a record for slowest speedboat Jeff can break.” –Hex Killhouse, on BlueSky

“You know, like calling on animals to rescue her and her friends from a hot air ballooning accident. Just normal, everyday stuff!” –pugfuggly

“Sounds like someone we can all learn from. [steers boat directly into supertanker, resulting in a fiery explosion]” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I would like Mother Goose and Grimm to consider trying out a facial expression that says ‘I am delivering a wacky zinger’ instead of ‘I am experiencing existential dread.’ Just once. See how it feels.” –Dan

“I love how the two of them just stare straight ahead during this scintillating conversation. Jeff must be thinking ‘If I look at her, I’m going to start laughing, and no accidental boob graze tonight.’ Mary is thinking ‘Yes Olive, I will tell him how special you are.’” –Maltmash3r

“A few days ago, I said that there might be a strip that could realistically portray alcoholism, but Judge Parker was not that strip. I now confidently predict that JP will also prove unable to depict the problems with trying to make a wild animal into a pet.” –Ken

“I love how quickly Dr. Jeff 180s on the whole psychic powers thing. His initial skepticism was merely a test to see if Mary was serious. Now that she’s reaffirmed her belief, he is eager to share his medical perspective on the strange human abilities he has witnessed and the copious notes he has collected but dares not publish for fear of his reputation.” –BananaSam

“I imagine that Mother Goose and Grimm’s first panel went through multiple iterations of specificity, each time getting sent back to the author by the lawyers because they didn’t have permission to use ‘Sears’, ‘K Mart’, ‘Walmart’, or, somehow, the words ‘department store’ in the strip.” –RoofPig, on Patreon

“Mother Goose looks so affronted when asked what credit card she would like to use. ‘As a mythical creature of nursery rhymedom I should not be forced to participate in the modern economy! Isn’t it enough that I consented to contact you through this 1970s landline?’” –matt w

“Plugger chairs don’t need doilies, they need Febreeze.” –nescio

“‘Shopping’ isn’t saying what Ma Goose is doing; she’s talking to Bradley Shopping, her regular high-class male escort.” –TheDiva

“Boy, did I score today, Mary! This extra sandwich was going to be Stanley’s until they hauled him away for criminal negligence!” –Bob Tice

“It’s kind of fascinating how Shoe is so ripe for the furries to take it and run with it, except every character, even extras, looks like three divorces and two packs a day.” –kumquats, on BlueSky

“The table and chairs are from the Dagwood Bumstead ‘Furniture for People with Short Weird Legs’ collection.” –Baja Gaijin

“I love how all the animals are completely invested in this mystery with wide-eyed stares except for the duck on the right who’s thinking, ‘I don’t have time for this shit. I’ve got to attend to my laundry so it doesn’t get incinerated.’” –Weaselboy

“Luann and Bernice are taken to another realm, to become heroic and save the new planet from — that WAS the plot of John Carter, right? I feel stupid for asking, because absolutely nobody saw John Carter. It’s my own fault for shooting for a John Carter reference, really. Anyway, hopefully Luann and Bernice are dead now.” –A Grave Mind

“Bernice just solved the Lament Configuration from Hellraiser, and she and Luann have been transported to the Cenobite realm, a hell of infinite sadomasochistic pain. Compared to the usual level of agonized fumbling youthful sexuality on display in this strip, this will be a sweet relief for them.” –Schroduck

“I’m used to Jamaal’s bald head, no problem. But I’m not sure I will ever get used to his [peers at it again] moustache and beard configuration.” –Poteet

“I’ve learned, Mary, that you can go for a balloon ride, get stranded in a forest, get rescued by the fire department, and go straight to a diner to eat without stopping at home for a shower and nap … and dogs are great.” –Hibbleton

“‘Unexpected things happen. Things we never imagined.’ ‘I can’t even imagine this hot air balloon deflating and crashing,’ thought no one in a hot air balloon.” –Kirk Out

“Kudos to the Pluggers art team! Man-Dog the Dog-Man looks like he’s discovered a new kind of incredibly satisfying full-body fatigue, and he’ll be dozing off to the familiar strains of confused dialogue between Eva Gabor and Pat Butram in no time. Even his chair is patterned like a pair of button-down pajamas. Stellar work, y’all.” –Victor Von

“It really looks like Olive is eating a standard diner sandwich, like tuna or chicken salad or something, and look. After you learn, conclusively, that animals are intelligent sentient creatures capable of language and advanced problem solving, maybe at least consider going vegetarian. Maybe fish are stupider than dogs, I dunno.” –Dan

“I can’t wait til they go on their first Mundane Couples Cruise.” –MKay

“Evidence that the mop is intended to be coded ‘female’: Long, flowing ‘hair’; drinking wine, something men are usually not depicted doing unless it’s a fancy dinner or a pre-20th century setting. Evidence that the mop is intended to be coded ‘male’: Refers to the broom as ‘buddy,’ indicating that this is one guy straight talking another, no attempt to give the mop boobs.” –TheDiva

“I’m loving how much Mary’s recent dialog sounds like ‘I fervently believe that you are gaining control over strong mental powers that would change the world if we understood them, and I’m going to speak about them with the kinds of platitudes that people give when they want to end the conversation.’” –Nevin, on Patreon

“I like how happy Bitsy looks. He’s not in any intestinal distress, he’s going back out for the love of the game (the game being feces).” –pugfuggly

“LOLing at Archie and Veronica’s reaction in the last panel. ‘Wait, removing someone’s glasses can reduce their ability to SEE?! What strange witchcraft is this?’” –Roscoe

“I’d like to know the thought process behind the extra in the first panel. ‘Wait, we can’t actually be promoting glasses-shaming. Let’s include a cute girl with glasses somewhere in the comic. We need to make clear that people with glasses can be attractive, and it’s just Dilton who’s the uggo.’” –Westing1992

“This Wizard of Id becomes really sad when you consider that the people in this land have almost nothing, yet they’re so angry at the king, they’re willing to sacrifice what few possessions they have just to express their displeasure with him. See that brick in panel one? That was someone’s retirement fund. And that pitchfork in panel two? Well, now that farmer has nothing left to leave his children when he dies of cholera.” –Joe Blevins

“Three million dollars! I’m rich! Me, Edgar Grant, right! Let me just move my thumb … What? Edgar Allan Poe? Who the hell is that? And what’s a Zimbabwean dollar worth? Jesus, maybe … if I move my other thumb … it’s unsigned? Nooooo!” –Voshkod

“Saul is over in panel one, pursuing his passion: narrating events to people in real-time, as they unfold.” –Victor Von

“If I hear ‘Electrothanasia Room,’ I’m imagining a mad science dungeon full of crackling spark generators and beds covered in chains and straps. Discovering it’s just an IKEA-furnished conference room with a complimentary buffet of coffee and cookies … well, it makes me regret modernity a little bit.” –Schroduck

“Never mind ‘Plano, Texas is a suburb where the median household income is six figures.’ That ship has sailed. Plano, Texas is so legendarily dedicated to high school football that I, an arrant Yankee, know about it. Why are you, Plano Plugger, falling asleep in front of a prime-time NFL game instead of falling asleep in the (googles) John Clark Stadium stands, like the good lord intended?” –matt w

“I don’t really know who Tess is, but this is obviously the highlight of her day. She was hoping Dick Tracy would barge in during the middle of the meeting. She would have been disappointed if he hadn’t. I’m 99% sure she even practiced a few quips that she might say under these exact circumstances.” –Joe Blevins

“Stanley isn’t quite ready to admit to himself that his plan for ‘suicide by hot air balloon’ isn’t working out. And this is his fifth attempt.” –Guts Dozier

“Editor: ‘You know, some people find your strip a little hard to follow. Maybe you could take an opportunity to reintroduce your characters. You know, who they are, where they’re from…’ Writer of Alice: ‘Sure thing! It’ll be completely clear after this!’” –pugfuggly

“Without the ‘tiny,’ it’s just ‘women sure are nags, right, fellahs?’ With the ‘tiny’ it’s just ‘Snow White, history’s greatest freeloader, never got over her height-ist mentality.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Mary Worth is a lot more entertaining if you think of each day’s strip being an actual day later, with the rescue team going home each night begging them to please make up their minds on the rescue order by tomorrow.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“B.C. referencing OnlyFans is maybe the shortest turnaround time between something becoming culturally relevant and it being referenced in B.C. I don’t want to think through the implications of this.” –Alec Baker, on BlueSky

“I think she means ‘best in the business’ of rescuing people from atop pine/palm hybrids. Whether balloons are necessary is unclear.” –Hibbleton

“I swear, in all my years at the festival, a balloon crash has never happened! It’s almost as if we had been visited by some bad-luck magnet, who attracts doom wherever she goes! Of course, if there actually was someone like that, I suppose she would try to hide her terrible dark mysticism … for example, by pretending to be someone who predicts awful events, so it wouldn’t seem so strange that she’s present whenever they happen. Of course, such a person could never actually exist … Or could she???” –BigTed

“We’re going to be okay! I am a little concerned about the physics, though. Shouldn’t our combined masses create sufficient inertia to slide us off these pines’ rather thin outer branches? I’m not afraid of falling, in other words, I’m afraid of why we haven’t fallen.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“WORST person to trust with a pile of cash. He won’t WANT to, but his very Dagwoodness will take him straight to the nearest sandwich shop. And won’t his condiment-smeared face be red at pay-off time!” –MKay

“Anyway, turns out babies cry a lot when you take their medicine from them. The moms don’t like it much either.” –Voshkod

“Saul: ‘Mary! Thank goodness you’re okay!’ Mary: ‘Well, I’ll assume you meant to say Mary! Thank goddess! You’re great! and let this one slide!’” –Ettorre

“‘Drone Store’ is actually a judgment value on the customers. The fact that they sell drones is a coincidence.” –Dan

“Thanks for sending the DOGS? That’s no way to talk about our brave first-responders!” –Lord Flatulence

“…and so much outdoors. Do you know how easy it is for a child to wander off and get lost? Listen to me, Katherine — I’m offering solutions here.” –cheech wizard