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Metapost: GIVE ME YOUR APPROBATION (also COTW)

Hey guys, a quick question for those of you who (a) have read my novel and (b) enjoy writing reviews of books you read, on the Internet: would you like to write a review of my novel, on the Internet? You can do so over at Goodreads or Amazon! Already a number of kind people have written thoughtful reviews but more can only help. Of course, you’ll need to read before you review and to do that you can buy from the fine links on this here page!

Annnnd with that self-promotion out of the way, let’s enjoy this week’s Comment of the Week, guys!

“Did Dennis walk up a couple steps to make his snide remark? ‘Hang on, I got a good one today, I wanna make eye contact for this.’” –Dan

Let’s also enjoy these hilarious runners up!

“Took me a minute to realize Sarah was wearing a hair-clip. At first I thought it might be a scar from when they put her new head on over the original, normal-sized one.” –Steve S

“The window says ‘ROOK STVUE’. You’d think that combination is meaningless, but just to be sure, you’d step inside to look it up in a thesaurus, right? As one does. And then they have you!” –Shrug

You could make so much more! Like that guy who invented Sriracha. I bet he’s crazy rich! And look at how many different kinds of Tabasco they have now! Like literally ten or eleven kinds!” –Adam Menendez

I’m one of the top talents in the apparatus! It’s much better than it was before, in Biff Tannen’s gang!” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Today, you will dress like a Park Avenue doyenne! …At least, an 80-year-old’s idea of what a Park Avenue doyenne looks like … Do they even have Park Avenue anymore?’ [Olive, frightened, shakes her head no.]” –pastordan

“The fact that a: we don’t see below Spicy Condiment’s neck and b: someone with X-ray glasses is looking at her head, makes me appreciate the artists for not drawing what must be a grotesque multi-tentacled disaster below her neckline.” –Kevin on Earth

“Honey, please: don’t bring your problems and negative emotions here, in front of the script! She can sense unhappiness.” –pugfuggly

“I’m pretty sure Pam is referring to how she calls Jeff’s penis ‘Geoffrey’ during the kinky Fresh Prince of Bel Air roleplay.” –Alex Blaze

“The initials IWU on Lois’ sweater indicates an alma mater. Wikipedia offers Indiana and Illinois Wesleyan Universities as possibilities. If there’s anything worse than seeing your college being mentioned in Hi and Lois, it’s not knowing if it’s specifically YOUR college being mentioned in Hi and Lois.” –Irrischano

“Meanwhile, ex-Judge Parker smiles as the plot to his next best-selling book, The Belgrade Affair, is laid out before him like an offering to God. She’d better die, he thinks, tragedy makes a great story.” –Voshkod

“Any other kid would be asking me ‘What is socialization?’ But you didn’t! That’s the next test! Now you get to skip TWO grades!” –hogenmogen

“WHEN HELL IS FULL
THE DEMONS WILL WALK THE EARTH
BUT
THE JOKES WILL NOT GET BETTER” –markpopham, on Twitter

“‘Yes, this remote area should be ideal for an examination of–’ Here, Trail removed the twist-tied plastic bag from his pocket and and dangled it between thumb and forefinger. ‘–White-nose syndrome.’” –vewatkin

“I, for one, am grateful for that chest-high wall. So deeply grateful.” –Joe Blevins

[The plugger gets home] “Say, this drawing only shows some kind of box with an electrical cord halfway up a dog’s ass! That’s not going to help me connect this thing at all!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“We knew these strips have long lead times, and now we know exactly how long: Today’s Dennis the Menace and The Family Circus were clearly written on 4/20. The creators of Mary Worth, however, have not even heard of The Devil’s Weed.” –Kibo

“I can see two possibilities: 1), the Mary Worth team really wants to add a little real-world New-York flavor to this story, but has no idea what is in NYC and just took a trip to their local mall to sketch logos, or 2) they’re doing this as advertisement for their product-placement services, hoping to entice actual businesses to actually pay them for this in the future. ‘Look how smoothly we inserted Macy’s into the plot. Mary could just as easily take a trip to [South Bend Indiana] and go to [Rocco's Pizza].’” –DigitalGonzo

“I’m not so sure, Dennis. What about those pictures of missing children where they do a computerized projection of what they’ll look like when they’re older? I’ve prepared one in advance for you, because I have a funny feeling you’re about to go missing.” –Peanut Gallery

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Metapost: Better late than never COTW

Ha, you thought I forgot the first comment of the week of 2016, didn’t you? Well, I didn’t! I didn’t at all! Here it is, enjoy it!

“Boog’s parents should just put everything sex-wise into scrapbooking terms. Then perhaps Boog would understand. ‘You see, I opened up your mother’s scrapbook and used my glue stick to insert photos and other paraphernalia,’ Rover explained as he sweated profusely.” –James in North Dakota

And also enjoy these hilarious runners up!

“I think you guys are giving Wilson & Beatty too much credit in Diversity Training. If we’ve gotten TWO ‘As solid an Irishman as you’ve ever met’ comments in a week, I expect nothing less than the Full Leprechaun.” –Ukulele Ike

“That hideous second panel can be recycled if there’s ever a story in which Boog gleefully murders a box-shaped robot, tearing out its artificial internal organs by hand.” –Joe Blevins

“Already I can see that Sarah might not fit into the bland-haired Aryan ideal the school seems to favor in their students. Fortunately for her, as a terrible artist with an explosive temper, they may see leadership potential in her.” –pugfuggly

“Love how disengaged Rex is from the children. ‘Ugh, who are these small, demanding people? The money I pay so I don’t usually have to interact with them is worth every penny!’” –Steve S

Oregano? More like OregaNO MORE TRAMPLING ON MY RIGHTS OBAMA” –PartyDuder

“Pluggers are only bad at one thing: life.” –Tim Pendergast, on Facebook

“Given the beak-like nose on the female in Gasoline Alley, and the glossy black bird-line eyes shared by all of them, maybe saying a stork was involved in the conception is being outright honest. ‘You see, son, many years ago, your grandpa fell in love with a stork. To keep our stork bloodlines strong, each of us must mate with a stork. Stick with the stork, my son, and you’ll have no egrets.’” –Voshkod

‘Your sign says you still have your faith. Is that true?’ ‘My sign says what? There’s been some kind of mix-up … I wonder who got the sign that says Put a dollar in my cup for a peek at my crotch?’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“So the moral of the story is, ‘Be careful what you wish for, because you might eat a hamburger and a drumstick with cola poured over them and then vomit on a famous politician.’ A valuable lesson that we can all apply to our own liUURRRRPHHH” –Chyron HR

“I kind of enjoy the way that the homeless man ends every sentence with an exclamation mark. It makes his sad story so much more exciting!” –Loopina

“Holy shit, she has the face of a Precious Moments figurine! It’s deeply unsettling. I wonder what her face will look like when the park rangers find Boog’s corpse half devoured by woodland critters, his attempts to block their sharp teeth with the scrapbook rendered horribly unsuccessful.” –rbmalpha

“Even realizing they’re character ‘names’, the phrase ‘Boog, Hoogy, honey’ sounds more like the ramblings of a senile nursing home patient than actual dialogue. So in other words, all is normal in Gasoline Alley. I’m not even sure why I brought it up. All apologies. As you were.” –The Might Untrained FOOZLE

“Notice that there’s only four taps there. Don’t ask where the ‘Bearded Stout’ is dispensed.” –Doctor Handsome

“Pity that this fire interrupted a charming meal at Beige Burger.” –Irrischano

“I guess we’re supposed to see today’s Rex Morgan and understand that this blond man is angrily storming out of the office, but it really looks to me as though that this guy just jogs around the admissions office all day, yelling angry, out-of-context things to no one in particular.” –Brad

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
  • Oh yeah, and my novel, don’t forget my novel, that’s definitely a thing you can and should buy!

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Metapost: See ya in 2016, suckers! (Oh also COTW)

It’s Christmas Eve, and you know what that means: I leave town and take a break from mocking the comics and let the ol’ web servers cool down as well. I’ll be back … I dunno, let’s say no sooner than January 1, and no later than January 4, depending on my mood. But if you’re hungry for more writing from me … well, I think you know where this is going:

BE MORE LIKE THIS ADORABLE DOG AND READ MY NOVEL! You can order it in physical book form, sure, but it probably won’t get to you until next year at this point. For your immediate Josh Fruhlinger prose needs, you’ll want the ebook bundle. But why not order both, just to be safe? And remember, if you feel the keen need to try before you buy, you can read the first chapter on Medium or listen to me read the the third chapter on the Catapult podcast.

And, oh yes, let’s enjoy your comment of the slightly truncated week, which will reign supreme until I come back and then we accumulate another week or so of comments:

“In spite of all the crotchety indignant pouting by Alan, I still have to say that my favorite panel in this whole strip is the final one, where Sam stares off into the middle distance, contemplating what his world is like. ‘Let’s see, I spent most of 2015 nursing a squirrel back to health, setting up a skype call to a wedding and then selling an RV to my daughter’s soon-to-be lover. Oh god, I should have never left my practice…’” –pugfuggly

And these runners up are also hilarious:

“I wouldn’t think your average newspaper cartoonist would be making enough to shop at Whole Foods, but here we are.” –Mars

“In Curtis, I like how the dad’s eyes pop madly in the third panel. Like he ignores Curtis so thoroughly that he thought he was alone and suddenly there’s a terrifying voice right there.” –BeckoningChasm

“A veritable smorgasbord, it is! Who are the Floating Hearts of Love for? Loose-Shoes? Bookworm? Shelf Ass? Blindy? Don’t commit just yet, Francis. Sit by your mother’s window a few more hours and you’ll see a hundred more freakish oddities … er, hot chicks! And be served a home cooked meal, to boot!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Is there a more joyless character on the comic strip page than Curtis’ dad? I mean, even the residents of Westview take mild, smug delight in bad wordplay every once in a while. Greg’s existence is one of being miserably slumped in front of the television, punctuated by occasional bouts of openly hating his oldest child. If Curtis had any love for his father, he’d quit sabotaging his attempts to smoke himself to an early grave.” –TheDiva

“But I’m willing to try! Nurse, SCALPEL!!” –Tigernan Douglas Quinn, on Facebook

“That is clearly a rare Russian nesting doll with an ugly baby face painted on it, and Rex stole it from a booby-trapped tomb somewhere. It’s so perfect it belongs in a museum!” –Steve S

“‘We’ll leave you two alone then, so that we can go engage in non-stop carnal pleasure, because that is what hu-mans always do in these meat suits! Tee-hee!’ Meanwhile, on the far end of panel 2, we see another member of the Away Team in its normal physiological form, awaiting its next shift as ‘Ed’ or ‘Evy.’” –seismic-2

We can enjoy delicious leftovers for days afterward! Weeks, maybe! I’m never leaving, by the way. I already made copies of the keys.” –Doctor Handsome

“This clearly depicts the crucial Pre-Animal Apocalypse period when the guns were taken away and the farmers were forced to use sticks to defend their livestock from the fox hordes. Fundamental transformation, indeed. Thanks, Obama.” –Mikey

“Wow, we get to watch Mary and Olive sit through church for a whole week. We FINALLY DID IT! We finally found something more boring than real church!” –DimensionalOtter

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

And that’s all for 2015, y’all! Remember, if we’re all extra good, maybe Santa will bring us a Kwanzaa storyline in Curtis this year.