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Metapost: Simpsonian and Phantomtastic comments of the week!

Your comment of the week in a moment, but first: a couple Fun Pictures Of Me With Cool People! The first cool picture is me with Jeff Knurek, aka Jumble Jeff, aka the cartoonist for the Jumble, who has repeatedly put me in prison over the years. Jeff came into town, and he and his lovely wife Kathy took me and my lovely wife Amber out to dinner, and then the next day Jeff, Kathy, and I (Amber had to work, so sad) got to sit in on a reading of a Simpsons episode by the cast! We (and by “we” I mean “Jeff but then he invited me along”) had been invited by Tom Gammil, a Simpsons producer who also draws The Doozies and is a faithful reader of this blog. It was an amazing experience and thanks to Jeff and Tom for making it happen! Here’s me and Jeff out on the Fox lot:

A few days earlier, I had been at a friend’s post-apocalypse-themed birthday party and chatting with a nice young lady named Marize and I had the opportunity (it was natural, I swear I don’t go around bragging about this with no context) to mention that I wrote a blog about comic strips, and she said, “Oh, which one,” and I said “It’s called the Comics Curmudgeon,” and she said “Oh, yeah, I read that,” super casual-like, which impressed me, and then she mentioned that she was a huge fan of the Phantom, and also pointed out that she had just gotten the Phantom’s logo tattooed on her thigh!

Anyway, I’ve been falling down on the job when it comes to Phantom coverage lately, and so I pledge to Marize and to you that I will do better! (SPOILER ALERT: He has amnesia.)

And now … your comment of the week!

“Mark Trail knows he is on the side of righteousness because before each outing he consults with his Lord and master, Jesus Moose, here seen walking on water before the stunned ranks of the non-believers. Blessed be the Father, and the Moose, and the Spirit of the Wild.” –G’Quan

And the very funny runners up!

“Wow, Fox is really cheaping out on the next X-Men movie.” –Ed Dravekcy on Facebook

“I like that one of the differences between the two panels is that in the first, the human appears to be a legit wildlife officer, while in the second, his lack of badge seems to indicate that he’s just some dude who likes stetsons and picking fights with bears.” –pugfuggly

“Little kids worshiping candy and presents rather than the Lord? The math checks out.” –pastordan

“What sort of ghastly vertigo-inducing Hell-Prius is that in panel one? From the Gungan hydrostatic windshield through which Mary projects her head, to the deadly passenger seat that lurches forward and to the centerline, it’s got to be a nightmare ride for Hanna and as such, she frowns her disapproval, which she can check out first-hand in the rear-view mirror, now mere inches from her eyes. Apparently, part of Mary’s plan is to so disorient and distract Hanna with the physical anomalies of the car that Hanna is no longer capable of ratiocination and will gladly enter whatever home Mary has in mind. Kids, that’s the oldest trick in the book!” –SgtSaunders

Margo reflects? We all know that Margo casts no reflection.” –Nekrotzar

“Few Halloween home decorations are as frightening and repulsive as the Man’s Back Hair Sofa Slipcover.” –Chareth Cutestory

“You’d think that a comic that features a woman who has slept with the newest James Bond star and has the latest Bond girl as a client and confidante would be about people leading glamorous lives. Yet here we are.” –Hibbleton

“It’s sad that the Sweet 16 Cafe, once a teen hangout in the 1950s, is now focused on an aging clientele holding on to the bittersweet memories of young love.” –SKJAM!

“Man, that Bill Ellis must really hate Cherry. When he sends Mark on a fishing trip or a safari, he goes alone, but when he sends him to snoop around a chemical plant next to a swamp, Cherry has to ride along.” –But What Do I Know?

“In all the years I’ve been reading comics, I’ve always assumed that word bubbles only existed for our own benefit, and weren’t actually present in the comic itself, like a subtitle in a movie. Today’s Mark Trail shatters that illusion by showing us a moose playfully chasing after one, like a cat with a laser pointer.” –Brad

“Please let Margo be looking at a picture of Joseph Stalin.” –seismic-2

“June will summon Kelly into her presence and demand to know why she wasn’t immediately informed about the possible prison record of the art forger employed by the mob widow who is mentoring her daughter. ‘B-but you knew all of that! The mob widow … the abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town … the art forgery … Sarah blackmailing me …’ ‘Don’t change the subject, young lady! I won’t have my Sarah instructed by someone so incompetent he actually served time! Only the best for my daughter!’” –batgirl

‘Are you ladies new here?’ asked a quavering voice. Mary turned. It was a haggard old crone, twisted and wrinkled, seemingly locked into a small scooter. She seemed … familiar, and Mary’s mind flashed back to her last memory of her mother, left in a place like this, alone. ‘Can I help you?’ the woman asked. ‘My name is Mary Worth, and I help out around here.’ Mary’s knees started to buckle. The old woman looked her square in the eyes, and Mary knew those eyes, she saw those eyes every morning in her mirror as she fixed her hair just so. ‘You look troubled, my dear,’ the crone said. ‘Come, tell me about your problems.’ Mary’s back hit the wall and she slowly slid toward the floor. ‘Mary Worth can fix all of your problems, dear.’ The woman’s scooter started to inch forward.” –Voshkod

“Here’s what I love about Dagwood. While the rest of us are worrying about mid-term elections, Ebola outbreaks, and whatever else the media is telling us to fear, Dagwood’s ‘dilemma’ is that two annual observances dedicated to mindless gluttony are overlapping and he wants to show his devotion to both without slighting either. We could, I dare say, learn from him.” –Joe Blevins

“The Jesus rays emanating from Dagwood imply that there is some divine majesty about what he’s done. Pizza slice? That’s something that you’ll buy at the fly-by-night Halloween store this weekend for half price and then forget that you have it in your closet for a few years. But add a Jack-o’-lantern head, and it’s ‘fall to the ground and shield your eyes’ time. Either this is a truly glorious moment for humanity, or somebody came up behind the artist after he finished and said, ‘Could you do something to draw more attention to the guy in the pizza costume and Jack-o’-lantern head? He’s hardly noticeable in that kitchen.’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Metapost: Advertastic comments of the week!

Hey guys! I know I always mention at the bottom of the COTW that you can buy ads on this site, but I thought I’d tell you up top that I’ve tweaked the advertising page to make it easier to buy ads in more slots. So if you’re interested, check it out, won’t you?

And now: your comment of the week!

“Why are there always random woodland creatures in every third Mark Trail panel, loitering outside Mark’s house where the ‘action’ is taking place? I like to think it’s because Mark is a Disney princess and they follow him wherever he goes, sometimes breaking into song. It’s either that or Mark left his garbage uncovered.” –Jack loves comics

And the very hilarious runners up!

“‘OH MY GOD HOW AM I GOING TO HELP OUT MY ELDERLY FRIEND WHO HAS TROUBLE CARING FOR HERSELF?’ ‘HI MARY? REMEMBER ME? I JUST MOVED INTO THAT CARE FACILITY THAT TAKES CARE OF ALL THE NEEDS THAT I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!’ ‘HMMMM…’ [cue billboard-sized thought balloon of Hanna Dingdon]” –pugfuggly

“Well if it isn’t my friend, Felicia Deus Ex Machina!” –Wool Worth

“The Great Dismal Swamp sounds like an awesome place for Rusty to get mired in quicksand or tar or leaking oil from a fracking operation gone bad.” –Mikey

“I guess some forethought might have been in order, but since you are Parkers, just pull into someone’s front yard and make yourself at home. What’s the worst that could happen? You don’t get thanked enough?” –Kevin on Earth

We never have to speak of him again. Because we haven’t spoken of him in about 20 months though he inexplicably firebombed my apartment. You’d think something like that would merit conversation, but anyway, since you’re at my agency, what kind of plotline do you think you might be interested in? We have ‘Inexplicable Quickie’, ‘Fade-Out’, ‘Traditional Boring’ and my new personal fave, ‘Meandering Nonsense’. No need to choose now, please take as many panels as you need. In fact, when you decide, make sure you end with ‘I’ve made a decision! I think I’ll take –!’” –Hogenmogen

‘Ready for some normal police work?’ ‘You bet, Sam!’ ‘Hunting down a perp who’s been given plastic surgery work to look like a movie monster is normal, right?’ ‘I don’t even know any more, Sam!’” –Enlong

“Oh, Henrietta remembers. She remembers the exact moment that Shelia Roo gave her that OMELET recipe! It was the week before little Joey was found pecked to death.” –Arabella

“Say what you will about Hootin’ Holler’s education system, at least they still pass on the proper etiquette of extending your pinky finger when holding a rifle.” –Guts Dozier

“Snuffy and Lukey are made of some strong stuff. If I found an artistically aggressive yet disturbingly non-specific circus poster nailed with a railroad spike to a tree deep in the forest, I’d probably regress to a preverbal state out of sheer terror.” –Joe Blevins

“I’ve never been able to figure out how Mary Worth’s hairdo actually works. Do all the hairs, including the ones that start on the back of her neck, meet together at some appointed place on the back of her head?” –Poteet

“I just didn’t need to see a flesh-colored plugger with flesh-colored hair this morning, is all I’m saying.” –Esther Blodgett

“I like to imagine that Mark and Bill Ellis are screaming into large blocks of chocolate. At least their conversation makes more sense that way.” –Lawyerbob

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Metapost: Autumnal comments of the week

Guys, even in Southern California the weather starts to gently cool in October, it turns out! Fortunately the leaves don’t fall off the trees, so I spend as little time thinking about Les Moore’s graphic novel as possible. Anyway, here’s your comment of the week!

“So to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the strip, we see that in 1954 they didn’t know what was on TV because the living room seating was pointed away from the set, and in 2014 they don’t know what is on TV because they don’t own one. Still unclear on the concept, is what I’m saying.” –seismic-2

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Check out Cherry’s foreboding expression; she knows Mark is in the mood for his favorite bedroom game, ‘Where’s the snake in our bed?’ No, that’s not an euphemism for anything.” –ZZalapski

“What I have learned from this Sunday assortment is that there are only two basic types of head-shapes you can have in the Half-iverse, and Harriet got the much-less-popular Model B, which features a distinguishable chin and neck. In her world, does this make her an object of admiration, scorn, pity, envy, morbid curiosity, or erotic fascination? Was there some controversy when she started dating Stanley? (‘It’ll never work, Stan! She’s a chinny, you’re a thumbhead!’) Better Half is more exciting when you think that its protagonists overcame societal prejudice so that they could stare blankly at each other across the breakfast table.” –Joe Blevins

“Doctor Octopus’ lair is on Long Island? Now I know he’s evil. And by ‘evil,’ I really mean ‘Billy Joel.’” –pastordan

“Some of the indie games on Steam are pretty ridiculous, especially the ones that try to emulate boring situations. Watch out, Papers, Please, Gil Thorp is developing Elevator Door: The Video Game.” –Chareth Cutestory

“The good news for Cayla is that the gift of paper has many uses. It can be burned for warmth, or it can be used to wipe her ass.” –Digger

“Okay, Cayla means so little to Les that he forgot their first goddamn anniversary, but she has outmaneuvered him this year, drawing him to her with Westview Sexy Role Playing: Hospital Patient/Soon-To-Be-Widower. She lies propped up in a single bed (she was recently seen crawling into a queen size, but this one is viewed from two angles to show it can hold only one), with her family gathered around, there for her until she slips away like the delightful Last Leaf of the year. Les is in his usual walkin’-around-town-garb of a turtleneck, cardigan and plaid pants. Their daughters didn’t dress up for it, but they are there to mourn: if there were going to be any actual sex in this sex game this would be perverse, but don’t worry, there won’t.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Hi and Lois pine for the golden days of yore, when they were allowed to have bonding time, people still thought smoking was good for you, and they had no children.” –Jack loves comics

This means Twitter is dead now, right? Which strip will be the first to acknowledge (and therefore signal the end of) Snapchat? Will it be Luann? It’s going to be Luann, isn’t it?” –Marcus Theory

“Here’s what will happen in Momma: Francis attempts to ask a question, but the Westminster system prohibits asking questions directly and there is no speaker to address them to. Frustrated, Francis calls vote of no confidence, which passes 3-1, but as there is no monarch or governor-general, nor any constitution (partially written or completely unwritten as in the UK) the Hobbes household dissolves into civil war. I anticipate Momma’s decapitation in tomorrow’s strip.” –Ashdown

“‘Westview Teacher Bludgeoned By Ersatz Asian Clock — Body Found Wrapped In Cheap Kimono.’ ‘The headline was grotesque and profane – even for Westview. Yet it was somehow poetic and beautiful to my eyes.’ So begins Chapter One of Les’ Story by Cayla Williams Moore.” –SgtSaunders

“The lazy angel on Spidey’s shoulder won out over the dickish, treacherous one. You go to war with the conscience you have.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

‘Ughhh … I’m really dragging today.’ ‘You should try drugs! They’re incredible!’ –DARE video #249A” –Chyron HR

“Give him credit, Doc Ock has been totally committed to this facade of respectability. Not a bubbling test tube or sinister plan schematic in sight — just an IKEA couch and a plant over by the window. Mary Worth has a more frightening lair, if only because Mary Worth is in it.” –TheDiva

“Once they hear Les Moore’s puns, the Chinese will open a special labored camp for him.” –Droopy Says

“Never actually tried skating on a cloud, but I’d imagine it would involve screaming futilely as you plummet to your death.” –Pozzo

“I really hope The Last Leaf is a collection of Love Is-style comics. ‘Love is … realizing you need someone to do your laundry.’ ‘Love is … forgiving your second wife for not being your first wife.’ ‘Love is … fucking your second wife while you envision the spectral form of your first wife watching you. Always. Watching.’” –Voyage of the Oversnark

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.