Archive: metaposts

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It’s Friday, y’all, and it’s time for your comment of the week, but first, a note for people who might want to put money in my tip jar but think PayPal is for olds and Venmo is the new hotness: I have a Venmo account! The address is @jfruhlinger and clicking on that link should take you there, I think!

OK, but enough of that. The COTW is what you crave, right?

“The skeptics told me, ‘I don’t see much chance of your evil plan going off without a hitch.’ Ever since then, I’ve made sure that all my evil plans include a hitch of some sort.” –Peanut Gallery

These runners up are also like sleeping on a bed of clouds:

“I can’t help but see Rex Morgan and Pluggers as prequels to Slylock Fox: it’s actually our ability (and desire) to eat off of plates and in a civilized manner that puts us atop the food chain, I guess, and as pluggers struggle to master that ability, humans heedlessly squander the only thing that sets us apart from the animals. In Justin’s choking face, I see not just a teen who can’t stomach a scone, but the grim future of humanity itself: A suddenly-fiftysomething-man, choking not just on a pastry, but on his own fate.” –Briane F Pagel

“I’m not sure whether the Grateful Dead theme on Justin’s shirt is meant to be foreshadowing of his death from choking, or whether he wears it just because he’s 60 years old.” –seismic-2

“I’ve seen enough dark corners of the internet to know that Dagwood’s food fetish novels have a big following on some very specific websites where readers anxiously await the next installment of Fifty Shades of Grey Poupon.” –Escape Zeppelin

“Sure, anyone can talk their way out of a cop coming to their house for questioning; it just takes a bit of cleverness. But it takes a real master criminal to talk their way out of flaunting the mangled, mutilated corpse of a policeman down the street. Let’s make this a bit interesting, shall we, Ghost Pepper? (I’m just disappointed there’s no one in the car with him, denying us the fun of him saying to the other person, when the flashing lights go on and they’re caught with whatever the asphalt has not ripped from a bloody human body, ‘Just be cool and let me do all the the talking.’)” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“The lesson is that Mary and Mary alone decides who has access to her muffin. (Part of me worries that we’re reaching the limits of muffin innuendo, but I have faith that ‘Mudgeon ingenuity will be able to sustain the gag for the remainder of this arc, however long it may be.)” –TheDiva

“It’s churlish to be disappointed with this consistently amazing Mark Trail storyline, but that’s not how I imagined The Great Wilhelm That Never Spoke He Just Screamed A Lot at all. I imagined a haggard pale Pierrot type clown, whose screams represented his essential alienation and estrangement from society. Instead, he’s just some kind of muscular Fred Flintstone cosplayer, whose screams presumably show sexual frustration from the cartoonishly huge erection he’s sporting here. Disappointing. I like his hat though. –Schroduck

“Poor Plato, he exited the cave of shadows and illusions only to end up in Camp Swampy. ‘So, this is the world of perfect forms and ideals? Great, great. I wonder if there is any hemlock around.’” –Joe Momma

“I like how Dennis is turned around, fully cognizant of the waiters’ wrath. ‘You think that’s all I’ve got? I’m just gettin’ warmed up, ya self-important, hopped-up busboys. I’m gonna shout RAT! and point under a random table. What ya gonna do, garçon? Hit my folks with the passive-aggressive early check trick? I shit on your check! Really, I’ll literally defecate on that thing!’” –Hogenmogen

“I missed the comma after ‘usual,’ so I mistakenly guessed that Senator Belfry was asking for ‘the usual Dooley,’ a ‘Dooley’ being a cocktail made from water and throat spray.” –Joe Blevins

“I’ll need some smoke and some mirrors. Remember, the mirrors have to be polished obsidian, and the smoke can only be from a smoldering mandrake root. Then some chicken blood — at least that’ll be easy to get — I scribe the Yellow Sign on the mirror, and bam! The voices from beyond the Veil of Thorns gives us a new economic policy!” –Voshkod

“Dennis is glad the waiters are bringing the check because he needs to get right from the dinner to his act in the Catskills. ‘Ring a ding, Chuckles! I gotta amscray, ya dig?’” –Aphthakid

Blondie is experimenting with sponsored content in its strip. Would your body shop like to the be one discussed at dinner? The bidding starts now!” –pugfuggly

Girls can grow up t’be ennythin’ they want t’be … if’n they grow up at all, o’course! Since you’ll be trapped fer all eternity at yer current age, Sue, you can’t be nuttin’ but a dreamer, wit’ asprations you’ll never be able ta achieve!” –JJ48

“I had to look closely to realize that the hulking thing behind Mark’s head is a tent and not an inexplicably green glacier. How many Boy Scouts does that thing sleep? 40?” –Mikey

“You would think that trees would be an acceptable substitute for skyscrapers, but Spiderman can’t use those without incurring the litigious wrath of the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate.” –cheech wizard

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

  • Bob the Fish: A site full of humorous and insightful videos on British television, mostly the forgotten bits around the edges. Most prominently the fortnightly commercial breakdown “The Hard Sell”, wherein our proprietor take a product or service at random and then point and laugh at the ways it’s been sold to us (or just go through an old commercial break cracking knob gags). Plus: documentaries about ITV and the dawn of satellite television! Also: There’s a Patreon!
  • The Nameless Series: A trilogy of books about people falling in love while being chased by ghosts, attacked by monsters, and haunted by their own pasts. Read the story of how two crazy kids meet, feed blood to a ghost, fend off a slavering nightmare monster, and fall in love. And that’s only their first date
  • Fiends of the Hub: Boston is under siege. Hungry, vicious, and wild, these vampires want only to feed. Can they be stopped before they destroy it all?
  • Weapon Brown: Aftershock: Jason Yungbluth’s blockbusting Weapon Brown graphic novel busted so many blocks that it sold out! Help get it back into print by supporting the Weapon Brown: Aftershock Kickstarter! Weapon Brown is an epic, Mad Max-style tale of the apocalypse that has a twist guaranteed to appeal to fans of The Comics Curmudgeon: every character is based on a famous hero of the comics page! Charlie Brown, Popeye, Calvin and Hobbes, Orphan Annie and dozens more of the most famous faces in comic strip history all receive black eyes in this hard-hittin’ parody that never pulls its punches! And what’s more, if this drive succeeds it will pave the way for a new Weapon Brown comic book, Aftershock, a 48-page epilogue to the massive graphic novel that will tell three new tales of Chuck, the round headed son-of-a-bitch, and his faithful mutt Snoop! Learn more!

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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‘Tis the first Friday of March, and like all First Friday’s it’s that magical day known as Internet Read Aloud Eve! Please attend my delightful comedy show in Los Angeles, California, if you enjoy funny people making hilarious jokes about … the Internet.

Here is the Facebook event, please check in and then subsequently attend!

Also, it is just Friday in general, so that means it’s comment of the week time!

“What the hell is all that stuff Darin and Jessica are taking with them? Gas masks? Hazmat suits? Immunological bubble? A completely supply of drinkable water and canned goods to avoid exposure to Westview’s poisons? It won’t work of course; they’ll be dead within hours.” –Nekrotzar

Your runners up are also a delight!

“It’s nice that we have Sunday comics, where writers and artists can really go beyond the usual limitations of the form and really explore more creative space. If this were a weekday, we’d probably only get a panel or two of the aftermath of the vomiting of a ham sandwich, but today we can find out so much more: the journey that the masticated ham and cheese took, the fact that it was both ‘weird’ and ‘gross’, the wider impact that the vomiting had on individual students, as well as the student body as a whole. I’ve never thrown up a ham sandwich myself, or have even been witness to it, but somehow, now I feel that really I have.” –pugfuggly

“Ha, remember when people used to read the Sunday funnies while enjoying a nice breakfast? I bet everyone’s glad they don’t do that anymore.” –BigTed

Beetle Bailey is surprisingly accurate today. ‘Any person subject to [military jurisdiction] who behaves with disrespect toward his superior commissioned officer shall be punished as a court-martial may direct.’ –Article 89 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Can be punished with up to a year in jail and a dishonorable discharge. I like this new direction of Beetle Bailey’s Adventures with the Judge Advocate General.” –Voshkod

“Thanks for the tip, Sly. After all, public schools are massively overfunded, so it’s no issue for me to throw all these pencils away and order a fresh batch. Speaking of getting rid of things, why are you here in my school and how soon are you leaving?” –jroggs

“Marty doesn’t understand ‘product placement’ means referring to a brand in his call of the game, not simply referring to the generic product they sell. ‘Los Morenos burritos’ is product placement, ‘burritos‘ is not. I didn’t expect this story to segue into a frank discussion about the long-term cognitive damage caused by excessive alcohol consumption, but that’s clearly where Gil Thorp is going with this.” –Truckosaurus

“Pluggers have to wait for their tubes to warm up in more ways than one, my lad.” –McManx

“‘Mark, did you say seriously?‘ asks the sheriff, as he squirts Mark in the face with water from the flower on his lapel.” –seismic-2

“When you have a mouth but you still can’t scream” –Anne Elisabeth Dillon, on Facebook

“Wilhelm almost died in the ER because as he lay there on the trauma table screaming all the doctors just kept telling him what a comic genius he was. Luckily, he eventually passed out from the pain and they went straight to work.” –Rob

“Otto is displaying human levels of self-deception and rationalization. I’m pretty sure he sticks around for the food.” –But What Do I Know?

“Some might say that if you start to feel run down all the time, you should be checked out by a doctor. Fortunately, Pluggers is here to set you straight!” –A Concerned Reader

“It says something about the triteness of Shoe that, instead of being amazed at reading a newspaper cartoon about group sex — a cartoon that wouldn’t necessarily be about fucking if its characters were any other kind of animal in existence — I keep focusing on the impracticality of bolting a desk chair independently of the desk to the wood floor, two feet from a chalk board but near nothing else.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Pluggers are hard working and industrious, except for the vast majority of time when they’re not.” –TheDiva

“The main reason not to have the conversation where M’Sieur Pepper can hear is because the chef knows how angry he gets when you don’t acknowledge his Ph. D.” –Andrew

“Yeah, the kids these days don’t really drink coffee anymore, they just like to get a nice tall cup and sniff it.” –Anonymous

Nip this in the bud right now, Kelly. Years from now, when you’re married to Niki, you don’t want to spend valuable time mashing up food into a fine paste so that your husband’s idiot friend won’t choke to death during dinner.” –Joe Blevins

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

  • Bob the Fish: A site full of humorous and insightful videos on British television, mostly the forgotten bits around the edges. Most prominently the fortnightly commercial breakdown “The Hard Sell”, wherein our proprietor take a product or service at random and then point and laugh at the ways it’s been sold to us (or just go through an old commercial break cracking knob gags). Plus: documentaries about ITV and the dawn of satellite television! Also: There’s a Patreon!
  • The Nameless Series: A trilogy of books about people falling in love while being chased by ghosts, attacked by monsters, and haunted by their own pasts. Read the story of how two crazy kids meet, feed blood to a ghost, fend off a slavering nightmare monster, and fall in love. And that’s only their first date
  • Fiends of the Hub: Boston is under siege. Hungry, vicious, and wild, these vampires want only to feed. Can they be stopped before they destroy it all?
  • Weapon Brown: Aftershock: Jason Yungbluth’s blockbusting Weapon Brown graphic novel busted so many blocks that it sold out! Help get it back into print by supporting the Weapon Brown: Aftershock Kickstarter! Weapon Brown is an epic, Mad Max-style tale of the apocalypse that has a twist guaranteed to appeal to fans of The Comics Curmudgeon: every character is based on a famous hero of the comics page! Charlie Brown, Popeye, Calvin and Hobbes, Orphan Annie and dozens more of the most famous faces in comic strip history all receive black eyes in this hard-hittin’ parody that never pulls its punches! And what’s more, if this drive succeeds it will pave the way for a new Weapon Brown comic book, Aftershock, a 48-page epilogue to the massive graphic novel that will tell three new tales of Chuck, the round headed son-of-a-bitch, and his faithful mutt Snoop! Learn more!

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Hey everybody! Next week is the first Friday of the month so you know what that means: my live comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, is back! We had a month off and are coming back extremely refreshed with a great lineup, so this is a great month to come by if you are within driving distance of LA! Here is the Facebook event, which you should click on!

Ahem! And now with that business out of the way, here is your comment of the week!

“The sandwich could be so good that the only way Justin can increase his enjoyment of it is through autoerotic asphyxiation. He’s going about it all wrong, but sometimes when the moment seizes you you simply have to go with what feels right.” –Mike Podgor

And here is a fine collection of runners up!

“I wish this strip spent more time on Hagar’s time-traveling raids among 1930s high society.” –TheDiva

“Cherry: ‘I’d like to decorate the cabin a little.’ Mark: ‘Fine. Here’s something that could kill us all.’ And that’s the dynamic that makes this marriage work.” –Joe Blevins

“You know you’re a plugger if you have a fetish for fisting sneakers.” –nescio

“Finally, the reporters at The Daily Billionaire Simon Stagg Found Dead have the story they’ve been waiting so long for.” –pugfuggly

“I… don’t know if this is a ‘dramatic zoom on narrowed eyes while on the phone‘ action movie get-me-the-president kind of moment. But I also don’t want to discourage Mark from exploring an emotional range, even if it only goes from ‘bemused’ to ‘stern.’” –Dan

“So the first step in becoming a nationally recognized brand is to spend your weekends as the sad sample lady at the local market? At this rate, Mary’s timeline toward becoming a muffin millionaire is lagging far behind her life expectancy.” –BigTed

“The really sad thing is, this won’t be the first case of ‘dick grated off’ Doc Pritchart sees today!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I don’t think Snuffy’s too concerned about the way he’s handling his dad. Black market organ sellers are remarkably unfussy, as are black market wig makers.” –Applemask

“There won’t be enough left of him to bury. But Mary is going to make Jeff dig a grave anyway.” –Kyle Beatty, on Facebook

“This stuff isn’t half bad, so I’m going to fork it through my chest wall directly into my aorta.” –lumaca morente

“I’m not sure why it amuses me so much to assume Hi is listening to ‘Sail Away’ by Enya, but it’s most the strip has entertained me in a decade so I’m going with it.” –Doctor Handsome

“But even though I just stayed home instead of going to the game in case I was needed to pitch relief, when I went to the ballpark the next day, I didn’t get fired! I kept on being a mediocre pitcher on a mediocre minor-league team, just the same! So literacy is over-rated, is what I’m saying.” –seismic-2

“Honestly the most menacing thing Dennis ever does is when he foretells the distant future of the 2010s from his eternal time-home of the 1950s. Can he see beyond to eternity?” –abadidea

Which cloud contains the malware I wrote to identify compromising photos and upload them to 4chan? BTW, Margaret, did I every tell you how I gained su access to Azure and read your diary?” –Nekrotzar

I’m also a fan of this visual posted to Twitter by longtime faithful reader Dean Booth:

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

  • The Nameless Series: A trilogy of books about people falling in love while being chased by ghosts, attacked by monsters, and haunted by their own pasts. Read the story of how two crazy kids meet, feed blood to a ghost, fend off a slavering nightmare monster, and fall in love. And that’s only their first date
  • Fiends of the Hub: Boston is under siege. Hungry, vicious, and wild, these vampires want only to feed. Can they be stopped before they destroy it all?
  • Weapon Brown: Aftershock: Jason Yungbluth’s blockbusting Weapon Brown graphic novel busted so many blocks that it sold out! Help get it back into print by supporting the Weapon Brown: Aftershock Kickstarter! Weapon Brown is an epic, Mad Max-style tale of the apocalypse that has a twist guaranteed to appeal to fans of The Comics Curmudgeon: every character is based on a famous hero of the comics page! Charlie Brown, Popeye, Calvin and Hobbes, Orphan Annie and dozens more of the most famous faces in comic strip history all receive black eyes in this hard-hittin’ parody that never pulls its punches! And what’s more, if this drive succeeds it will pave the way for a new Weapon Brown comic book, Aftershock, a 48-page epilogue to the massive graphic novel that will tell three new tales of Chuck, the round headed son-of-a-bitch, and his faithful mutt Snoop! Learn more!

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Comments are closed.