The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: Greetings from scenic Brooklyn

Hi there everybody! I’ve had some really awesome and great experiences in New York this weekend, both at the ROFL! shindig Friday night (at which I was not victorious, but that’s OK, since I was really nervous and I think I did my best stuff in the first round) and at the Mocca artfest today. At both, I had lots of encounters with many fine Comics Curmudgeon readers, who are without exception awesome and friendly and fun and good looking. I will be posting a somewhat longer account of my experiences, naming individuals and offering a few pictures, soon! But for now I just want to say that you were all cool and I loved talking to you and I really appreciate all of you reading my site and being fans.

You know who I don’t like and don’t appreicate, however? The New York traffic enforcement department, who towed and impounded our car for being in a bus stop zone, despite the fact that we were not, in fact, in a bus stop zone.

You know who else I don’t like or appreciate? The Maryland MVA, for putting the wrong license plate number on our vehicle registration, which means that that NY traffic enforcement won’t release our car back to us.

New posts coming when we get the hell out of New York, which may be, you know, never.

Update: Slight retraction: Having now strolled past the sad, empty spot where our car used to be, I have to admit that it is in fact a bus stop. A very poorly marked bus stop, but a bus stop nonetheless.

Nevertheless, they’re still being dicks about the license plate issue. Come on you bastards the VIN number on the registration matches and you saw that OUR GOD-DAMNED KEYS OPENED THE DOOR why on earth would we be trying to grift you out of a 1994 Toyota Corrolla for fuck’s sake.

Second update: WE (“WE” BEING “AMBER, THE CAR, AND MYSELF”) ARE BACK IN BALTIMORE. COTW COMING TONIGHT; MORE TO FOLLOW LATER SOON MAYBE.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 at 06:15 pm and is filed under metaposts. |

587 responses to “Metapost: Greetings from scenic Brooklyn”

Dean Booth
June 24th, 2007 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

Welcome back, Josh. We heard some tidbits about the ROFL gig, but we all want to you do it all again online.

Bummer about the car, dude.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 24th, 2007 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

Jeez. Good luck to you, Josh. Sounds like an interesting time (in the Chinese-proverb definition of the phrase).

Looks like we only got to 700 comments on the previous thread, though. We tried to reach 1000, we really did!
Dingo
June 24th, 2007 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

Oh, Josh, you sound like Tommie Thompson at an orgy.
Islamorada Girl
June 24th, 2007 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Jeeze, Josh. A perfect NYC debbie downer after such a good weekend! I’m truly sorry.
Uncle Lumpy
June 24th, 2007 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

But all that trouble gave you time to write your post! So what’s the problem?
Islamorada Girl
June 24th, 2007 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

PS $100 for the lot guy might make your car problem go away. It IS NYC.
Dean Booth
June 24th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

Yesterthread:
#686 HBGlord: Tagline: “the place where America goes OnLine.” You work for hustler.com?

#693, SM: “Call the poliiiice!” = best line ever. If I remember correctly Ren and Stimpy were selling latex products door to door.
Harry Paratestes
June 24th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Oh, man, sux about the car, now you have to do “Escape from New York 3: The Day of the Curmudgeon”.

As for the comedy show, good job getting there and trying out. I’m thinking that you might have done a little better in the show if you had strolled onstage wearing only a huge smile and a glittering white codpiece with Clambake’s portrait and the legend WWCD? (what would Clambake do)
Poteet
June 24th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Pope Josh, I wish your car tale were just part of a fun second-hand-story riff on life in NYC. Since it’s grim reality, deep sympathy. And at least you have a great forum to vent further regarding the responsible parties. Welcome back, by the way.
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 24th, 2007 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

Last thread:

692: #3) April, when she sees Ren and Stimpy showup, whispers through gritted teeth: Call the poliiiiiiice

Really worry if George Liquor shows up with a five-spot! George
Buck Ripsnort
June 24th, 2007 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

Josh, do I break out the yellow ribbons, or are you psyching up for your Snake Pliskin impression? Best luck in Bureaucratic Limbo.
SecretMargo
June 24th, 2007 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

#7: Not just “latex products”….rubber nipples! Plus, that episode features my very favourite animated pervert, The Horse (who resembles the villain in the comic-within-a-comic in Curtis to an unnerving degree)

And Noodlefoot: This is how I’m imagining you now. You’ve messed with the wrong Curmudgeon, New York!
The Divine O'F
June 24th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

Damn! I thought we were going to make it to 1000! But at least my thread-ending skills are still functioning even under the new nom de blog. And Josh, it’s so good to hear from you. Sorry about your car. This is your old fan, formerly O’Fogeyette, redubbed by Secret Margo.

701 Yesterthread Uncle Lumpy: Helen Mirren fantasy, wow! Sorry to disappoint you. I’m very flattered, though.

Also yesterthread, thanks again Secret Margo, for everything! And Harry P, my astigmatisms challenge yours to a duel. Indistinct pointed objects at three paces.
SecretMargo
June 24th, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

8: Aww, I knew someone would beat me to it. Well played, Mssr. Paratestes.
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 24th, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

Oops, this is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Liquor
Proteus
June 24th, 2007 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Josh, I wish I coulda been there to shake your hand and thank you for brining a ray of snarkshine into my life. Also wish we could have made it to 1,000 while you were gone. Harder than it looks, you know?

Tell the NYC traffic enforcement department that now they got to be the ones to read through a full week’s comments to pick COTW. I mean, do they know who you are?
ghostof'lectricity
June 24th, 2007 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

Nice to see you back, Josh; wish we could have made it to NY to see you.
Kyle
June 24th, 2007 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Welcome to my old friends, the New York Parking Violations Bureau. Once a truck knocked off my sideview mirror, and they gave me four tickets for “broken equipment,” two of them the same afternoon. Then they towed my car to Far Rockaway and gave me a fictitious map to go find it with. Finally they gave me a ticket for an expired meter in a space that didn’t have a meter. For the last seven years I park only in garages. I’d rather fall into the Mafia’s hands than those crooks’.
stinky pete
June 24th, 2007 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

Bummer about the car, Josh. Just be sure to give those New Yorker bureaucrats a lot of lip and attitude – they respect that.

Well, folks, we gave it our best shot. We didn’t get all the way there, and I know your feet are tired, and you’re hungry (OK, we don’t need to squabble about who left the granola bars behind… well, you had room in your backpack too… ), but after all, isn’t it all about the journey, and not the destination…? Oh, who am I kidding? CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
Fuzzy
June 24th, 2007 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

ahhh. that’s gotta suck XP
fizzy logic
June 24th, 2007 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

This sounds like a perfect opportunity for those of us who haven’t made a donation to the tip jar recently to do so. Funny isn’t cheap, people!

You didn’t say whether you got to participate in the pride parade or not, Josh? Or were you knee deep in bureaucrats by that time?
fizzy logic
June 24th, 2007 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

#19 – stinky pete – I think we should be able to count this post’s comments with last post’s comments – after all, it is just an update with no new comic snarkage from Josh. He’s just checking in so we don’t worry about him, like his mom taught him to do. And good thing, too! You NYC meanies – leave our Josh alone and let him go home or you’ll have a bunch of nearsighted comics-reading smartasses to answer to!
SecretMargo
June 24th, 2007 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

21: Okay, fizzy, now I’m imagining an eyepatched Josh threatening that guy in a chair, his hair full of glitter and clad only in a Clambake Thong, gritting out, “You. Interrupted. My. Pride. Parade. Fun,” while Mrs. Curmudgeon covers him with a Dillinger from the doorway, flanked by a flock of angry Dykes With Impounded Bikes who’ve decided to aid in the seige on the traffic department.

For this I thank you.
Klipper
June 24th, 2007 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

Josh,

If you need a place to stay we’re about 20 minutes from the lincoln tunnel. Let us know.
Adam G
June 24th, 2007 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

Where in Brookyn are you? I live in the area and I’d love to buy you a beer or something.
stinky pete
June 24th, 2007 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

21 fizzy, yes, YES! (sound of taped inspirational music, which had run down, revving back up to proper speed). It’s NOT about the journey! It’s about redefining your destination so that you get there no matter what! 731 and counting! Onward, Curmudgeon Nation! Onward and upward! And someone grab those damn granola bars!
Necktie Weasel
June 24th, 2007 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

I totally didn’t realize you were a fellow Baltimoron. I think I love you.

and want me to torch the Glen Burnie MVA for you? Hell, I’ll do it anyway.
Interceptor
June 24th, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

#23, SecretMargo

“That guy in the chair” is Harry Dean Stanton, possibly the greatest character actor ever! If you have any doubt, re-watch “Repo Man”.
Wellsey
June 24th, 2007 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

Oh that’s ridiculous! Sounds totally like a real life Simpson’s episode. Friends of mine used to live in NYC and had similar things happen to them (just the part about parking where signs said to and being ticketed anyway). Makes you wonder about the traffic police, what are they smoking that makes them imagine signs are where they aren’t. Or maybe they’re being haunted by dead traffic cops telling them what to do and if they don’t give tickets to non-offenders black ink spills from their heads. Okay, I’ve psyched myself out and I’m never going to NYC now!
Wellsey
June 24th, 2007 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy from last thread, thanks for the link! I’ve saved it! Sundays will be so much better now!
Tracer Bullet
June 24th, 2007 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

The Philadelphia PTA will write a ticket approximately 11 seconds after the meter expires (even though I beat the bastards three times during Wizard World last week suck that, PTA bitches) but you can pretty much park anywhere, including the sidewalk, the median and most intersections and nobody cares.
dalton
June 24th, 2007 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

Hey y’all -
Just so you know, I’m the one keeping Josh hostage here in NYC. You’ll never see him again! Mwuahahahahaha!
Maughta
June 24th, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

Admit it, Josh. You totally stole that car and changed the plates. Comedy doesn’t pay, after all!

Come down to the South, we don’t have such silly things as parking enforcement. Not if your gun rack is big enough, that is.
HBGlord
June 24th, 2007 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

#7 — I wish! I do have a (female) friend who has been an editor for the various Larry Flynt pubs — Hustler, Barely Legal, etc. As a former copy editor, i’ve been begging her for the company style sheet (“blow job” or “blowjob”; “come” vs “cum” — hey, if Josh can work blue, so can i).

Josh, sorry about the interstate conspiracy that got your car towed — i blame the one loud guy at Joe’s Pub who outshouted everyone.
HBGlord
June 24th, 2007 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

#22 — I’m nearsighted and a native New Yorker. May i kick my own @$$ (yeah, i really have no problem saying “ass” — i just like being “saturnine” with the keyboard) for Josh?
Holly Golightly
June 24th, 2007 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

Okay, I know this is off topic, but I saw this nifty gadget at Brookstone this weekend and you guys are the only people I know who would appreciate it. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to make it a shorter, less annoying link, so you’ll have to bear with it. Apparently, Ellie is Brookstone’s target customer!

http://www.brookstone.com/store/product.asp?product_code=288225&search_type=search&search_words=fabric%20shaver&prodtemp=t1&cm_re=Result*R1C2*T

Good luck getting out of New York, Josh! I have always hated the MD MVA. Morons, all of them! (my apologies to any of them who may be on this site!)
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

Tune up, Curmudgeon Nation! Since the NYC Five-Oh pinned a lousy ticket on our pope, we can all join together and sing the anthem for the misunderstood, even though Josh didn’t do anything wrong and the subject of the song is known for it. Still, sing dammit.

And do your best Dusty Springfield impressions!

I ONLY WANT TO BE A SHREW

I don’t know why a fox should care ’bout what I do
I only want to pass a big hot check or two
Or steal some equipment, or mug a mole
It’s not as if I want to be a big asshole
It’s crazy but it’s true
I only want to be a shrew

It always makes me feel a little bit forlorn
When I sit in and view Cassandra Cat’s new porn
I need to be out a-casing someone’s house
But I run into foxes and a staring mouse
It’s crazy but it’s true
I only want to be a shrew

Then Slylock smiles at me
And asks if I care to name
An alibi, or a store receipt
He’ll bust my ass just the same

Oh hear me, honey
I’m misunderstood, I’m just a lowly punk
Who’s busted by detectives with inferior junk
Don’t know how it happened, or when or where
I hoped that I could pin the rap on some dumb bear
No matter what I do
I’ll always be Shady Shrew

I said no matter, no matter what I do
I’ll always be Shady Shrew
HBGlord
June 24th, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

#24 — In other words, you’re five blocks away. (NYC traffic jokes — they always kill!)
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

Crap, crap, CRAP! I meant to put “I need to be out casing someone’s house” and that a- got in there and I missed it during proofreading.

Well…. add me to the list of people who can’t see shit.
HBGlord
June 24th, 2007 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

#39: Don’t sweat it , Fabe — you just transformed it into a country song.
HBGlord
June 24th, 2007 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

#39 add: And the meter actually works with the “a-” — that’s one up you have on Stevie Nicks!
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

#40 HBGlord – oh yeah, That makes me feel loads better. :)

But now I have to add a verse about trains, prisons, Mama, my dog, and rain.
TurtleBoy
June 24th, 2007 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

I hope you went down to the traffic enforcement office and gave ‘em what fer!

Josh: “Listen, Winkie! Do you Margoing know who I am? Boxcar! You’re gonna gimme my Saturn car back, you Margoing Margowad!”

Pencilneck: “Wait…you’ve got a Saturn?”
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Hey, I just gotta say I love you Mudges!…and I’m not even drunk!
Although I’m a little “pilled up” around my bikini area. Holly #36-does that product work for my problem? Seriously, you guys are the BEST!
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

HBGlord, etal: I know you know what happens when you play a countrywestern record backwards!
stinky pete
June 24th, 2007 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

For Josh & Steve Goodman fans everywhere….

The streetlamps are on in New York tonight,
And lovers a’gazin’ at stars;
The stores are all closin’, and Bloomberg is dozin’,
And the fat man is counting the cars…
And there’s more cars than places to put ‘em, he says,
But I’ve got room for them all;
So ’round ‘em up boys, ’cause I want some more toys,
In the lot by the grocery store…

To me, way, hey, tow them away,
The Brooklyn Pirates are we,
From Red Hook to Fort Greene, there’s nothin’ so obscene
And we always collect our fee!
So it’s way, hey, tow ‘em away,
We plunder the streets of your town,
Be it Edsel or Chevy, there’s no car too heavy,
And no one can make us shut down.

We break into cars when we gotta,
With hammer and pickaxe and saw;
And they said this garage had no license;
But little care I for the law!
Our drivers are friendly and courteous;
Their good manners you always will get;
‘Cause they all are recent graduates
Of the charm school in Ossining.

To me, way, hey, tow them away,
The Brooklyn Pirates are we,
From Red Hook to Fort Greene, there’s nothin’ so obscene
And we always collect our fee!
So it’s way, hey, tow ‘em away,
We plunder the streets of your town,
Be it Edsel or Chevy, there’s no car too heavy,
And no one can make us shut down.

And when all the cars are collected,
And all of their fenders are ruined,
Then I’ll tow all the boats in the East River
To the Venice Marina;
And when I’ve collected the ransom,
And sunk all the ones that won’t yield;
I’ll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways
At Laguardia, Newark, and JFK!

To me, way, hey, tow them away,
The Brooklyn Pirates are we,
From Red Hook to Fort Greene, there’s nothin’ so obscene
And we always collect our fee!
So it’s way, hey, tow ‘em away,
Now citizens, gather around,
And I think it’s enough, let’s call his bluff,
Let’s throw the bum out of town!
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

(HINT)…It has nothing to do with Satan. And…..begin!
Galactic Emperor ChennuxÂ©â„¢Â®
June 24th, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! ESPECIALLY THE ONE CALLED JOSH! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

NYC IS THE HELLHOLE OF THE UNIVERSE! BELIEVE ME, I SHOULD KNOW! BEING GALACTIC EMPORER AND ALL! HAHA!

JUST GIVE THE WORD AND CHENNUX WILL MAGMACANNON YOUR CAR TO FREEDOM IN NEW JERSEY! OR WESTCHESTER COUNTY! YOU PICK! HAHA!

AND SORRY ABOUT THE ROLF THING! CHENNUX WAS CHEERING FOR YOU! I WAS THE LARGE SCALY GUY IN THE REGAL PURPLE ROBES THERE IN THE BACK! BETWEEN YOU AND CHENNUX, THE CHANNEL 102 GUY SUCKED GRANNIX PHLEGM! HAHA!

END TRANSMISSION!
fizzy logic
June 24th, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

#35 – HBGlord – It goes without saying that you’re one of the good guys. You’re our man on the street, leading the charge for Josh! As it’s been shown in the past, it takes a while to mobilize this group into a 300-style fighting force – lots of misdirection and false starts. But we have a lot of heart and mean well. For what it’s worth.
Brown-eyed Girl
June 24th, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

Last thread:

699. — Poteet Yep. It’s definitely a recurring theme. Dru and Pibgorn (pigborn, pigporn, bigporn) alternate, but since Dru is a succubus I guess it’s not always “fairy” torture.

Stinky Pete — Thank you!
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

Red greenback: do you get back with your ex-wife, your dog comes back to life, your sentence gets commuted and your mama wins a new truck?
Brown-eyed Girl
June 24th, 2007 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

Josh — Bravo for participating; that took nerve. HBGlord said you were a hoot.

Let us know if you need a strike force to liberate you from NYC. Not that we can actually help you, but we’d still like to know.
Uncle Lumpy
June 24th, 2007 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

#42 TF –

And pickup trucks, and bein’ drunk, per Steve Goodman.
Mibbitmaker
June 24th, 2007 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

That really sucks, Josh. Must be like something out of “The Out of Towners”, though you’re probably taller than Jack Lemon. I don’t know what that last part means, exactly, I just like saying “Jack Lemon”.

Hmmm… lotsa time to find the COTW and runner-ups, I’m guessing…….
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

#51 True Fable- Hot Damn Vietnam, you’re good! Even though you are a Roopvillecrat and I’m a Southgatian. can I call you “True Homie”?…And while we’re on this tang, I love O’F’s new nom de blog “The Devine O’F”
ralph
June 24th, 2007 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

Josh, I’m very sorry about the car being held hostage. I hope its name isn’t Gretchen.
I tried to think of which cartoon character might be most likely to come to your aid, and, well … I couldn’t think of anyone, except maybe the ethnic-stereotype-Margo-Mother … that is, if your car is leaking oil.
Anyway, hurray otherwise for an excellent weekend! Your fan,
Brown-eyed Girl
June 24th, 2007 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

36 = Holly Golightly — Oh my God! Is this a great country or what?
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

#53 Uncle Lumpy – I knew I left out some things! Thanks, UL. Steve Goodman was aces.

…I was drunk the day my mama got out of prison
And I went down to pick her up in the rain
But by the time I got to the railroad station in my pickup truck
She got run over by a damned ol’ train

And I’ll hang around as long as you will let me
I never minded standing in the rain
But you never call me darlin’, darlin’
You never even call me
Why don’t you ever even call me?
You never even call me by my name
fizzy logic
June 24th, 2007 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

Josh, I think you should go somewhere trendy and be “seen” so you can show up on the Gawker Stalker map. You’re part of the Empire, working for Wonkette – I’m sure you can pull some strings. Then you can tell the parking enforcement that they obviously don’t know who you are and show them your spot on the map. They’ll be so impressed that they’ll release your car immediately. How’s that for a plan?

I know, not so good. I’ll keep trying to think of something…
MossMoses
June 24th, 2007 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Josh, there’s a place you can stay there in NYC until you get your car fixed. You’ll share the apartment with two women! One of the occupants is in the hospital and there’s a free room. I forget which street it’s on but the Apt # is 3-G.
johnny culver
June 24th, 2007 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

I know who has your car..Vera! and she is headng towards the next Charterhouse Pool Party at 90 miles per hour!

April Patterson is in the passenger seat, calming Shannon…in…the..back…seat.

Jeremy Jones is bound and gagged in the trunk.

April: Faster, Vera, or else I will totally let Shannon stand on the roof and tell…the…whole…world…to…fuck…off!

Vera: And lose my new job as a typist? What would Von think?
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

#54 Maker o’ Mibbets-I’ve been thru Malibu several times and saw Jack’s house at “The Colony” from PCH. If a house could be any more of a brick & mortar representation of Jack Lemmon/Felix Unger…I’d love to see it.
Mibbitmaker
June 24th, 2007 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

#56 (ralph): I don’t know about coming to their aid, but I can think of two that’d have something to say…..

Mark Slackmayer (sp?): “Just like those pigs to act like fascists!”

Mallard Fillmore: “See how useless and oppressive government is? Stupid liberal hacks!”
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

#? Josh!!! Come to my office!
John C Fremont
June 24th, 2007 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

Welcome back! Your dreams were your ticket out.

Hey, you missed a lot while you were gone, but mostly you missed that some of us hate Stevie Nicks! I guess I’m the only one who hates John “Cougar” Mellencamp, though. Oh, and there was some comics-related stuff, too. And then Gadge came back. And – and – ooooh, I hates that Johnny Cougar guy!!

Seriously, welcome back to that same old place that we laughed about.
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

#55 Red Greenback: Heck yeah, you can call me whatever you like, especially if it’s for dinner!

And yes, “The Divine O’F” has a flair to it that defies snarkage and brings to mind the images of singing mermaid backups and a rousing rendition of “I Sold My Heart to the Junkman”. It’s time for the Epiphany, it’s time for the Epiphany!

I taped one of her first HBO specials about 20 years ago and about 10 minutes of it has been permanently burned into my brain pan.
â€Impresarioâ€
June 24th, 2007 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

Josh, I’m so bummed you got screwed in the car department. I hope it doesn’t keep you from coming back; I would absolutely love to have you on for July or August or any future ROFL.
Your dick jokes brightened the room; I only wish we coulda seen more!
Hey, if you’re going to be in Manhattan longer because of car impoundment, call me and I’ll happily take you out for dinner or to see a show or something.
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

True Homes- “I chose my apparel, I wore a beer barrel
And they rolled me to the very first row
I held a big sign that said, kiss me Im a baker
And monty I sure need the dough”
Dean Booth
June 24th, 2007 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

GT, Next week: The Milford team gets a mascot!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 24th, 2007 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

ralph @ 56: Whether it was before or not, I say that as of your post, Josh’s car is officially named Gretchen.

The Brick has spoken. It is law.
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

John C Fremont – No Little Pink House for you, Hombre!
willethompson
June 24th, 2007 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

Josh said: "Nevertheless, theyâ€™re still being dicks about the license plate issue. Come on you bastards the VIN number on the registration matches and you saw that OUR GOD-DAMNED KEYS OPENED THE DOOR why on earth would we be trying to grift you out of a 1994 Toyota Corrolla for fuckâ€™s sake."

Ummm… COTW! Yeah, definitely! Especially the possessive on ‘fuck!’ That’s the cherry on the sundae.
Herro!
June 24th, 2007 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

It’s a little-known fact that anything dealing with cars (parking lot attendants, tolls, traffic, MVAs, police impounds, etc.) serves only to make you not want to drive. Only 4 1/2 weeks till law school, California, and eschewing my POS Oldsmobile for a bike. CAN. NOT. WAIT. Good luck getting out of NYC, Josh. If you can’t get out soon, definitely try Lombardi’s Pizza and Rice to Riches: fantastic, interesting rice pudding. YUM. I’m kind of jealous of you now.
John C Fremont
June 24th, 2007 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

# 71 – That’s okay, Red. John Prine’s gonna hook me up with a Pink Cadillac, man. And to tie this in to an earlier discussion, when I saw John Prine at the Civic Center in Des Moines, his opening act was Steve Goodman (solo with a Strat) who was, come to think of it, way better than John Prine, and… I’m not sure what this means.
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

Okay If we’re stacking this thread w/ the yester to hit the big C1K… Sooory , there was a mothra on my monitor, and being the devout Bhuddist I am, had a heckuvva time getting Grandmother out my house!
HBGlord
June 24th, 2007 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

#45, 51 — Thanks for the Hee-Haw Digest. (And TF, nice going on the #37 versiage.)

#46 — Speed and accuracy both! You remove the “bra” from “bravo” — and with one hand!

#49 — The solution is simple: When the rampaging starts, spare all the glasses wearers (that’s prescrip, not shades — let those who mock us who are bespectacled by necessity taste Red Greenback’s Twin Hambones o’ Justice!).
Islamorada Girl
June 24th, 2007 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Ellie’s too cheap to buy a fabric shaver. That’s why she uses a razor. She’s also too cheap to buy decent sheets. Anything over a 200 thread count won’t pill up.

Poor Amber. It’s her car.
Mibbitmaker
June 24th, 2007 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

Vera: “Curses upon you, NYC officials!”

MT narrator: “Josh didn’t understand their hostility”

Shannon: “I can… stand….up…………….for… you, too,… Josh….. no pro…..blem while……. I’m……here….. on the ta…..ble…”

PC squiggly girl: “I dunno…. I heard there was… something… about the American flag in that show of yours? Could be karma….”

Les Moore: “Bad as all that was, Josh, your world still has kinder writers than mine!”

Spidey: “I‘ll save you, Jo— …oh, look, ‘Family Guy’….” (sits)

Mary Worth: “Hmm, that reminds me of an old saying….”
Andy L.
June 24th, 2007 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

#72: “Especially the possessive on â€˜fuck!â€™ “

Uh, doesn’t the construction “For [X]’s sake” always require the X to be possessive? It doesn’t really parse properly otherwise.
Harry Paratestes
June 24th, 2007 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

Here’s an idea, Josh!
1) Go into the impoundment center wearing a long coat.
2) Once inside, whip out a chainsaw from beneath the coat, start it up and begin waving it around and screaming “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
3) Negotiate with them for Gretchen from this position of strength.
Huh?
You think maybe not?
Damn.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
June 24th, 2007 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

I also think you should submit this whole scenario to Al Scaduto.
Foobar
June 24th, 2007 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

Listen, my friend. $100 to the lot guy *might* make your problem go away, but give me $75 and I can guarantee it.
Foobar
June 24th, 2007 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

Know what I mean, know what I mean? Wink wink, nudge nudge.
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

#74 John C.-Just to see my name next to John Prine’s makes me a happy stick o’ licorice.
Foobar
June 24th, 2007 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

Also, sorry Josh. A few years back I grifted them out of a ‘94 Corolla and I guess I kind of spoiled it for everyone. Man, that is a sweet ride though, eh?
Brown-eyed Girl
June 24th, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

65 — John C Fremont Remember: hold on to sixteen, as long as you can. It’s the edge of seventeen.

Ouch! Be nice and keep your eyes on the prize: C1K
Wellsey
June 24th, 2007 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

#81 COTW!! Oh-h-h yeah-h-h-h-h!!!
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

Drew Gretchen, I am so sorry Peggy …need I say more!?!?
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 24th, 2007 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

Congratulations Josh. Glad you had a good time at Roffle. As for your car, well, I hope your find the person you need to bribe (KIDDING, AM NOT ADVOCATING A FELONY) and that they don’t bleed you too bad.
Officer Krupke
June 24th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Hmmmm…

Trying to pull the 94 Corolla scam again……

We have seen in all, son. Don’t try that scam here.

Next thing you know you will be playing three car monte at the impound yard….
Mibbitmaker
June 24th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

more comic characters react to events in NYC….

Margo: “More red tape, mule!” (just to be a jerk, as usual)

Grampa FOOB: “BOXCAR!!!” thinking: “… it’s probably the only transportation you can get past the NYC bureaucrats on!”

Scaduto character: “They’ll do it every time!”

Bucky Katt: “Say… ‘Fruhlinger’, huh? Sounds like some kind of foreign name. Hmmm… Aw, hades, all you hairless monkeys are all the same, anyway, so who cares?”

Danae: “All my sympathies, that really stinks! Poor Amber! …What?….Josh? Who cares, he’s just a male!”

Hugh Avery: “I definately sympathize, you guys! I know how much trouble getting anywhere in a car can be. I’ll bet that popinjay Rex is involved somehow!”

Ignatz mouse: “And I can identify with nosey, pain-in-the-ass cops keeping you trapped for no good reason.”

Lio:

Opus: “It could be worse, Josh. You could’ve had Meadow Soprano parallel parking for you!”

Crankshaft: “Just another day for the Car-mudgeon.”

Aldo’s ghost: “Cars! What a bitch, huh?”
Trixie Belden
June 24th, 2007 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

Oh Josh, sorry to hear about the bad luck with your car. It sounds like you’ve gotten yourselves stuck in a Kafkaesque nightmare. I hope it has a quick and happy ending. Glad to hear the rest of the weekend went well.
King Folderol
June 24th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

There has to be a TDIET out of the cops inexplicably hanging on to a 1994 Toyota.
Harold
June 24th, 2007 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

Damn, Josh. I scrolled to the end to see if there was a resolution to this story. I don’t see one yet. Good luck, hang in there, tap the awesome power of the Curmudgeon Underground Network. Your wheels may belong to the City of New York for a few days, so I hope you didn’t have to be anywhere soon.

True story: I have a blogger friend who took her car to New York and had it stolen. Fortunately, the car was having serious electrical system problems, and the theives abandoned it several blocks later…in the middle of the street…where it was impounded. It took my friend quite a long time to get that situation resolved and her car back.

If you’d like to read the long yet hysterical story while you’re waiting for the powers that be to get this issue resolved, here are the relevant posts:

http://bloogrssblog.blogspot.com/2005/07/apparently-i-have-reputation.html (in which the car is stolen)

http://bloogrssblog.blogspot.com/2005/07/prodigal-car-returns-home.html (in which the car is recovered, with almost impossible effort)
Red Greenback
June 24th, 2007 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

Josh, lemme get this correct…your cat got impounded in Brooklyn? Okay I got Cutler now that he’s been pulled from the Spector deal. We can go for a non compost mentos and cha cha cha.
Michael
June 24th, 2007 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

Sorry to hear about the car problem.

The only solution is to declare yourself a Corolla-terian, and that having the VIN changed is emblematic of your religious conviction to change; therefore it’s a freedom of religion thing. It should let you get out of impound free. (The religion thing is working for Paris, after all.)
ltrftp(not so first time)
June 24th, 2007 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

VIN
Vehicle Identification Number
VIN Number
Redundant

One of the first times I came here Josh was jumping on “Grammar Boy” or “Grammar Guy” for complaining about “ATM Machine” usage in demotic use, not formal use.
Like writing for a blog.

It’s not like he’s under stress or anything.

Plus, it is not really a number, ’cause it has letters in it.

Anyway, Josh, I hope you get your car back in one piece.
alamo
June 24th, 2007 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

the last time i was in ny we got our car towed away on a friday in august on the day we were to leave town–early. needless to say that didn’t happen.

i don’t recall what the sign said but it was posted on a pole about 20 feet up in the air and obscured partially by trees. thank god for a wife who was not hung over like i was, and who was studying business law, also a sympathetic judge. she won the case but had to pay the tow charge which we got refunded to us a couple of months later. we got the car same day and proceeded to enter friday afternoon rush hour traffic moving at the breath-taking pace of an inch a minute.

oh i forgot to mention( this will date me) son of sam was on a rampage yet when we got there, a mafia don had put out a contract on him because the latest victim reminded him of his daughter, and the puerto rican liberation front had detonated a bomb off at the empire state building. we had a great time in retrospect.

and the wine was very fine.
CrabbyGenes
June 24th, 2007 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

to The Divine O’F: Your new moniker looks great in print, but I’m having a little trouble with the pronunciation-in-my-head. Is it “O – F”? as you would pronounce the two letters of the alphabet? Or is it “oaf”? which is definitely NOT good….(no insult intended, you understand!)

That got me thinking: CAN the word “oaf” refer to a female being? The only oafs I have ever read about/ heard about were male. I think, anyway. Are all oafs male, by definition? Would that get O’Fogeyette off the hook? (I mean, besides the fact that none of us would EVER think of you as an oaf.)

At any rate, until you are sure that all of the CC’ers have checked in (thinking of ones who might be temporarily on haitus), maybe the first line of every one of your posts for a while should read “the commenter formerly known as O’Fogeyette” or something like that.
Poteet
June 24th, 2007 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

I may be doing less snarking for a day or two because I just lost my cat (euthanized because of cancer). Toto wouldn’t have won any beauty contests, but she was very affectionate and a lot of fun. To paraphrase THE WIZARD OF OZ, cats will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. *Sigh.*
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

Come to Greater Metropolitan Roopville, Josh. We may not have places to display your comic wit, but then we don’t have Toyota-impounding parking cops either. Well, that’s namely because any car that stops in Roopville is automatically assumed to be broken down, and somebody will come along and push it off the road for you unless you stop them and explain, “No, I put it in park and shut off the engine on purpose.”
“OHhhh. Awwll Raht, then.”
Echo
June 24th, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

Man, that sucks. I love NYC, but I would never EVER drive there. I tell people to park in Jersey and take the train if they intend to drive to New York.

They get native New Yorkers all the time too. You need to move your car from one side of the street to the other for “street cleaning” (in all the time I lived there I never saw evidence of this) on certain days. They enjoy changing the days on which you’re supposed to move your car — and, of course, it’s the car owners’ job to figure out the changes.
Mibbitmaker
June 24th, 2007 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

I hope nobody minds; I’m having too much fun writing these. In all sympathy, of course…

John Patterson: “Sorry ’bout your extended stay. Too bad authorities feel they have to Fruh-linger like that!”

Calvin: “This looks like a job for…. SPACEMAN SPIFF!”

Hobbes: “What, a spaceman with a spaceship rescuing a couple stuck in New York? Seems kind of impractical.”

Calvin: “Gimme a break, alright?? It’s been over a decade. I’m alittle rusty!”

Flattop Hitler: “Whadda scoop! This’ll make a great expose! You just KNOW Spider-Man’s in cahoots, I betcha!”

Jeffy “Family Circus” Keane: “That’s a shame. By the time you guys get outta there, it’ll be Old York City.”

Homer Simpson: “Excuse me… I know I’m not a comic strip character (I’m not…right??) *Ahem!* Anyway… if you’re stuck in NYC due to a car and authority problem, you really should pop in over at the Mad magazine offices! It’s… reeeally freeeeaky there…”
fizzy logic
June 24th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

#100 – Poteet – so sorry to hear of the loss of Toto. We seem to be losing a few cats around here lately. (Mine has developed a worrisome cough to go along with her other ailments. O’F – is Google doing all right?) Anyway, Poteet, it is always very sad to lose a friend and I know you won’t be your usual cheerful self around here for a while. Hopefully we can raise your spirits a little while you’re here with us. Thinking of you and wishing you well…
Jack Parsons
June 24th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Clapping song finds on Youbube:
Shirley Ellis does The Name Game but not The Clapping Song.
An 80’s band does The Clapping Song.

Listening to this I realized I knew it from the Tom Waits version on Rain Dogs. “And they all went to heaven on a little row boat” flipped the switch. But I don’t think Shirley Ellis sang “went up to Harlem with a pistol in his jeans”.
CrabbyGenes
June 24th, 2007 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

To Poteet (if you are still reading comments): Very sorry about Toto. I liked her a lot, the times we visited you. I will tell your nieces and brother-in-law. I’m sure neice-Fumi will miss her too, since she got to see more of Toto than any of us.
CrabbyGenes
June 24th, 2007 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

my #106, That’s niece-Fumi, not neice-Fumi. Yes, I can spell.

Don’t you all hate wasting a comment on a correction?!
NotThatGuy
June 24th, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

Oh lordy, first Josh’s car and now Poteet’s cat. I am so sorry.
CrabbyGenes
June 24th, 2007 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

Josh, I want to add my sympathy re the “Josh-car affair.” The best I can say is that in future years, when all is said and done, this may become one of those stories that you can tell and re-tell at parties. (not now, though, I know. Now it’s just maddening and frustrating.)

As for THE TREK: (to stinky pete, fizzy logic, and others), I also say, “Onward!! Although I have confess to having ethical reservations. No, we did not make it to 1000 in the last thread, though we seem to be continuing in this one. And true, Josh did not provide any new comics for us to snark on, so maybe can consider his metapost as just “checking in.”

On the other hand, by virtue of his experience, he did provide us with new material to comment on, sympathise concerning, and curse various NYC people on.

But back to the first hand, this (providing of new material) was no more than any CC-commenter might have done.

Aw, boxcar the ethics and the rules! Onward to a TWO-THREAD TOTAL OF ONE THOUSAND!!
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

#100 Poteet, my melancholy queen! I am sorry about your cat. *hug* Losing a pet is never easy and words can’t replace them, but that’s all I can offer, sweetheart.

But I did go out to the Meat Goat Show last weekend before this one at the Ag Center, to admire my favorite animals. I wish my face could look so innocent. They were cute and loud and pushy, the best kind of goat to admire. Then I thought about why it’s called a Meat Goat show and it harshed my mellow, huge. I’ll go to the Dairy Goat show next time. Ain’t they cute?

Yeah, I can get snarky on comics but you put a picture of a goat in front of me and I go more goo-goo over it than if it was a human baby.
HBGlord
June 24th, 2007 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

#100 — Dear Poteet, my deepest sympathies are with you. There’s nothing to compare with losing a beloved pet. You gave Toto a home and food, and Toto gave you joy and wonder in return. It seemed like it was a fantastic relationship, and i hope you can tap into the happiness you two shared whenever you feel blue.

And when you’re ready to snark again or just need a diversion from your sad thoughts, we’ll be here, as always.

Love,
HBGlord
Brown-eyed Girl
June 24th, 2007 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

100 — Poteet. I’m so sorry about Toto.
CrabbyGenes
June 24th, 2007 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

A continuation of my #109: Calling all Western Hemisphere Night-Owls and Insomniacs! We need you!

(Dammit, every time I get revved up over here, people over there are going to bed.) (Not their fault, I know. Just the frustrating truth.)
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

#113 CrabbyGenes: In my defense, going to bed DOES get me revved up on occasion. ;-) But I’ll hang around as long as…
oh, I did that song already.

I’ve got to wait up to see what happens in MT, JP, RMMD, MW, and A3G! Not that anything sudden ever happens, but just in case it did, I want to catch it.
Mibbitmaker
June 24th, 2007 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

6/25:
FOOB: “I’ve… eaten a… river of liver… and… an… ocean of fish…” The rant goes on until Shan…non gets everyone else to chant along with her:

“WE… WANT….SOMETHING ELSE!!!
WE… WANT….. SOMETHING ELSE!!!
WE WANT…… SOME….THING ELSE!!!…”

(Sorry, gang; I was listening to a version of the M*A*S*H theme on a mix tape when I read FOOB online, and the rant from “Adam’s Ribs” from season 3 just popped into my head… with some help from Wikiquote after the fact)
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

MW What the hell did Dr. Drew expect, anyway? “Mary Worth” and “Pool Party” in the same breath would have been warning enough for me.
CrabbyGenes
June 24th, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

Oh, God. The disgusting santimonious-ness of FOOB. (Monday strip) I knew something like this was coming, but even still.
fizzy logic
June 24th, 2007 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

#109 – CrabbyGenes – Just think of it as playing a game with a little kid. They always change the rules so they win. We’re just changing the rules a little so we have a better chance of winning. Cuz we’re immature and like to win. We still may not make it to 1k – we’re going to lose the west coast here before much longer, too. I’m not an insomniac, much to my detriment sometimes, and tomorrow’s a work day. Bleh.
Harold
June 24th, 2007 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

Poteet, you have my deepest sympathies. Losing a beloved animal friend really, really sucks.
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

A3G Would you quit stalling and just MAKE UP something wrong with her? “We tried to take a brainscan, but she doesn’t have a brain to scan!”

MT Mark is that much closer to finding his eyehook. This scene looks familiar because it’s similar to every freakin’ MT panel ever done

JP Yeah, hurry and toss in a mention about Abbey, Sam, since as I recall Trudi is hungry for a man, any man, and won’t mind sloppy seconds if he’s built right. And did Sophie say she’s nearly 14? I thought she was 11, or can I just not read the fine print known as the Chron’s word balloons today?

RMMD I used to date someone who was bipolar like Hugh, and boy am I surprised I survived it. But even Heather’s showing a little double-edge; first she’s crying in panel one, then she’s calmly drinking her tears in panel two.
*shudder!* I dodged a bullet, I reckon!

Mary, for those of you who just don’t feel like going elsewhere to click for the old windbag.
True Fable
June 24th, 2007 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

Foobsite reader survey: Which Patterson are you most like? I couldn’t vote. They didn’t have a selection that said “None, or at least I hope the hell not!”

They don’t have Monday’s strip up yet. Is it that bad, that even the host site won’t host it?
Mibbitmaker
June 25th, 2007 at 12:05 am [Reply]

More 6/25:

M.W.: HE GETS IT!! DREW GETS IT!!! Drew, you’re one of us, now. I’m so…*snf*… proud… What’s that in my eye?….

A3G: Blaze whispers in exasperation, “Not now! We can discuss our love life later, Doc!”

MT: Jeez, if only Josh and Amber had Mark Trail’s luck with the establishment, they’d be home by now. The (poorly-drawn) man must have top CIA clearance or something!
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 12:07 am [Reply]

FBoFW Got it now, from the Chron thanks to Dean Booth, God of Pixels. That’s his title now, btw. so sayeth the Roopville Kid!

So somebody’s banging on a tray, and April Patterson, looking like one of the girls announcing the wedding in the Dream Sequence of Oklahoma!, makes sure all eyes are on the Noble TURFS as she launches into her Very Special Spiel.
Now in FOOBland, I suppose Lynnie expects everyone to join hands and sing “Kum Ba Yah” and April will get the credit for giving Shannon the eggs to stand up and speak.

But sadly, in Real Life Land, the cafeteria would go silent for a moment before someone yelled, “Hey, get down off the table” and the clatter and unintelligible murmurs fall over the scene once more. If they didn’t laugh outright at the girl doing a Norma Rae.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
June 25th, 2007 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Sorry about the car, Josh. (Or should I say “Sorry about Gretchen.) Hope the problem is resolved with a minimum of difficulty, and hope you have some fun adventures during the extra unexpected time in NYC.

Poteet, my condolences about your cat. I knew a cat named Toto who had the name because she had two extra toes.

Comic strips… let’s see. Well, for the sake of being provocative, let me just say I unequivocally prefer F Minus over Zippy the Pinhead. There’s just something I admire about the minimalism of F Minus. (Recently, someone here said “it looks like it was drawn by a robot.”) It’s like, even when the joke makes you groan and not laugh, there’s still usually something there that’s at least original. I admire the brevity. There’s elegance in brevity. I know there are a few ZtP admirers here, but in my opinion, you can go just a little too far with stream-of-consciousness writing. Especially in the medium of a comic strip. Listening to a friend of a friend describe what they dreamed last night? Not as interesting as the dreamer thinks it is. (And I like Get Fuzzy, too. I don’t demand that strips have “punchlines” in the most straightforward sense.)
Proteus
June 25th, 2007 at 12:12 am [Reply]

Poteet.

All cats go to heaven. If we’re really good we get to join them.

Thanks for all you add to this blog. I hope your heart glues back together OK, even if there’s a piece missing.
Dingo
June 25th, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

Nothing â€” NOTHING â€” beats a Charterstone pool party for a wish of instant death.

Poor, poor Dr. Cory Lite. Mary is serving him weak mimosas and an even weaker clerk-typist as a setup.
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

RMMD — Sloppy drunk insults — they’re doing “Who’s afraid of Virginia Wolfe”! Of course, I could be completely off base about that, since the only other version I’ve seen is the Mad magazine parody.

Archie — Well, thanks a lot. Because of this blog, I can no longer read Archie without seeing a homoerotic subtext. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

FBOFW — hasn’t shown up on any of my comics links. I can’t go to bed until I see it.

C1K — Is anyone out there keeping count?
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

And I’m watching “Shaun of the Dead” yet again, just because it’s funny as hell even though all the F-bombs have been surgically removed by slasher editors.

Make that, Margo-bombs.
Dingo
June 25th, 2007 at 12:17 am [Reply]

Josh, I’ve realized where your car is. Right now, your vehicle is setting behind the studio of Lynn Johnston, covered in human waste and jettisoned strip ideas. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s rubbed her naked snatch all over your steering column while laughing maniacally.
Mibbitmaker
June 25th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

May Drew Cory be our “inside” person in a way that April Patterson couldn’t be!
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

#127 Brown-Eyed Girl – For you, sweetness.
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

#124 — In my praise/defense of F-, i was the one who said it looked robot-drawn. But it’s one of the only strips that can elicit an actual audible “ha!” out of me — something that my favorite strips (GF, PBS, for example) don’t do, but then they’re not really designed for that sort of reaction. I think it’s the element of the surprising punch line that makes F- enjoyable for me.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 12:20 am [Reply]

#129 Dingo – I thought you wrote “your steaming column” and oh my god, acid won’t burn that visual out of my mind now. oh god oh god oh dear mother of mercy, make it fade to black!
Mibbitmaker
June 25th, 2007 at 12:26 am [Reply]

#130 (me): Sorry ’bout the all-bold lettering, but some things just have to be said with that kind of emphasis… on a table… in a school lunchroom… to a bunch of cruel teenagers…. uh………….

…um….

DREW CORY RULES!!!
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

131 True Fable — Bless you!
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

Which reminds me: One of my biggest comic strip pet peeves is when there are non-drawn elements in a strip. I’m referring to when the cartoonist uses actual typeface lettering (in signage, usually) within the strip. Major culprits in my local paper (the New York Daily News) are The Lockhorns and Sherman’s Lagoon.

To quote the title star of the movie The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra: “I sleep now!”
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 12:36 am [Reply]

9CL Okay, Edda’s finished mutually masturbating with her unihorn. Can we go back to imaginitively drawn artwork and witty (if a tad stretching) dialogue now, please?

FW Well, Pete, the postman rang twice but the mailman only had to bang your mama once.

FC THIS is why Keane does not have caption contests, and why this is so much better.
The possibilities for snarkage is just too abundant. It’s like giving me an entire gallon of fudge ripple ice cream on a hot afternoon with a big spoon.

“I said get the hell out of here, boy! And don’t come back!”

“But why did you point the middle finger at Mr. Bumstead, Daddy?”

“Yes, son, I’m afraid we are all descendants of Dick Tracy.”
left of the pyle
June 25th, 2007 at 12:38 am [Reply]

We roadtripped to NYC in college and one of the guys who drove had his car stolen. About a month later the city called to tell him they’d found his car. It was abandoned in an illegal parking space, towed, impounded, and destroyed before they thought to check it against a stolen car list, but they found it by god.
Mibbitmaker
June 25th, 2007 at 12:40 am [Reply]

9CL: Good! Now, maybe the strip can get back to normal and be good again! Nice ending there! (looks at small print)
AAAAUUUGHH!!!

Agnes: Tree porn. Sure adds new meaning to “happy little trees”, doesn’t it? (Why, Bob Ross, you sly dawg!*)

.
.
*R.I.P., Bob
Moon Mullins
June 25th, 2007 at 12:40 am [Reply]

Well, every time I go away for a couple of days something amazing happens like this C1K thing. I don’t really have anything funny to say right now but the post count is one higher because of me!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 12:42 am [Reply]

Yay! Time for Monday comicry! But first, this message from our sponsors, Baron Auto Towing & Recovery of Brooklyn, N.Y.:

“I want my Gretchen!”

And now, without any further delay, Monday snark.

9CL: Oh, for the love of Rolly Church of Crete… we’re now on Week 4 of the Unicorn Saga. Someone, please, call McEldowney and give him a new story idea! How about… Edda gets kidnapped by fairies and tortured? He oughta go for that.

A3G: “Where’s Luann?” “I’m sorry, she’s been moved to a general floor.” “Can you be more specific?” “Sorry, but general floors are all we have here at Large City Hospital. I can tell you that her condition has been upgraded to ‘meh,’ so we moved her thataways.”

DT: This guy’s not exactly a trained hostage negotiator, is he?

FBOFW: “I’ll give ya a chance ta shaddup, winky!” “Yeah! Winky-head!” “Sit your winky ass down in your special-needs wink-chair and shut your winky mouth, winky!” That would be the response at any realistic high school. Instead, I think we’re bound for the slow clap. Hey, that reminds me of a riddle! How do you get the slow clap? Sleep with Shan…n…on!

(DT)GT: Is Clambake trying to slide his arm around Ken’s manly shoulders in panel 3? I think he is. I now hear Clambake’s dialogue with a different voice. From now on, he’ll always sound to me like the old guy who’s always trying to fondle Chris on “Family Guy.”

MW: Inviting someone who’s as “easily bored” as Drew to a Charterstone pool party is like inviting an epileptic to a Pokemon marathon.

OBH: Wow, Ronald McDonald’s really let himself go!

Phantom: A GIRL LOST AT SEA! …PLUCKED FROM THE WAVES BY A LEGEND! SHE TELLS HIM A TALE OF TREACHERY! HE FEIGNS INTEREST! THE NARRATOR SPARES US UNNECESSARY DIALOGUE! Next: WET DOG SMELL!

RMMD: Hugh’s apparently not used to drinking Thunderbird with his fish and chips. “What’s the vintage on that wine anyhoo?” “Thursday.”

SFx: Unless Slylock has a tankless, on-demand gas water heater. C’mon, you gotta do better than that, Weber!
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 12:43 am [Reply]

FBOFW — “All we are say-ing, is give TURFs a chance.” Appologies to John Lennon, but this strip is begging for a parody. Alas, my skill is not equal to the task.

123 — True Fable — You are so right about how this would play out the in real world — silence, then snickering. However, this is the Foobiverse, and I am AGOG to see how Lynn is going to play this one out. Since reality as well as most of the laws of physics have been suspended, anything could happen! Anything! April slugs a snickerer! Shannon ascends to heaven! The entire cafeteria crowd joins hands and sings kum ba yah! It could happen!

I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s foob like a kid looks forward to Christmas.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Curtis Today we see what could have been an incident from The Roopville Kid’s youth, as eerily recreated Ray Billingsly. Well played, Mr. Billingsly. Now get out of my memory banks. You’re killin’ me.
DtM Mr. Wilson has a few options.

1. He could spray the kid with the water hose, thus getting in a first strike;
2. He could wait until the kid picks up the plugged in lamp to ask why it’s been turned on outside, and then turn on the sprinklers and go inside;
3. He could let Martha take Dennis inside to clog his arteries with a few more pounds of cookies;
4. He could sell the house and move. Screw equity and screw that he was there first; old man, if you want to get the kid away from you, put distance there above all else. If he follows you, shoot the little dickweed.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 12:52 am [Reply]

#141 Spectacular Spider-Brick: “(DT)GT: ..Clambake…. From now on, heâ€™ll always sound to me like the old guy whoâ€™s always trying to fondle Chris on â€œFamily Guy.â€

This is the reason you are one of the best snarkers on the board. COTW nominee!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 12:55 am [Reply]

711 posts on the previous thread, 144 here (as of this writing). That’s 855. Just 145 to go! Not counting this one. With a new day of strips to snark, if Josh doesn’t post tonight, we’ll easily top 1000. Go, Mudges, go!
Prime
June 25th, 2007 at 1:02 am [Reply]

How to Park in NYC : If there is a spot available, there’s a reason no one else is already parked there.

The whole thing must bite fairly hard though. Someone make Josh feel better by getting this turned into a TDIET !
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 1:11 am [Reply]

S-M What is with Peter’s face? The right side of his face is small and leering, the left side is all WTF-like. I’m sure it’s supposed to look like he’s pulling a reply out of thin air but he looks like he’s pulling it out of his ass with a grappling hook.

S4th Is he looking up her skirt? If so, the summer doldrums are just about to get lively.
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 1:13 am [Reply]

Spectacular Spider-Brick. First you make me laugh out loud (141), and then you figure out our C1K goal (143) You are truly a prince among mansonry. Excellent snarkage, excellent mathematics.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:18 am [Reply]

May…
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:18 am [Reply]

be…
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:19 am [Reply]

Sha…
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:19 am [Reply]

nnon..
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 1:19 am [Reply]

It’s not even midnight here in the Pacific time zone, and I’m already punchy. I’m usually a night-owl, but tonight I’m going to bed with the chickens. Not literally! I’m not a Plugger (yet)!. It’s a real saying, isn’t it? Never mind. Good night all.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:19 am [Reply]

could…
BrianC
June 25th, 2007 at 1:19 am [Reply]

Shannon: Oh…Captain…My…Captain…
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:20 am [Reply]

help?
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 1:21 am [Reply]

Excuse me, Sister Sestina.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 1:21 am [Reply]

(DT)GT Today: Clambake says “Squee!” and runs away. Ted’s onto you, old man, and all the distraction of the game is not going to get you out of it.
and dammit if I can’t get the crusty old pedophile on Family Guy’s voice out of my head when I read Clambake now. XD See what you’ve done to me, Spider-Brick!
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 1:30 am [Reply]

H&L Question: Is it the fact that this joke just simply is written awkwardly, or is it her question in panel two that doesn’t make sense? He just TOLD you what happened, Lois. They bought out the card company – oh screw it, just ask Cathy the Merchandising Whore all about it.
Okay; Loveless Sham of a Marriage, take two!
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 1:36 am [Reply]

#158 Ken, not Ted. Not that we’ve ever established that they are humans.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:38 am [Reply]

I’m one who should ask Pope Josh for absolution for misusing TURFs to pad comment-count, but any excuse I own is yours for the taking, O Brown-Eyed Girl.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 1:46 am [Reply]

Meh, now I’m just talking to myself.

GA Slim joins the Saturn crowd.

Archie Nothing a good fast moving car and a baseball bat couldn’t fix.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 1:47 am [Reply]

Wait, we are family. I’ve Sister Sestina with me.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:54 am [Reply]

The thing about observing Matins and Lauds here at Our Lady of Iambic Pentameter is that it pretty much forces you to be a night-owl. And the thing about the Computhon for CK1 is that it pretty much erases any worries I have about my comments make a lick of relevance or sense. Not that I’ve shown much evidence of THAT ever inhibiting me.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 1:56 am [Reply]

It also seems to release inhibitions about correct grammar and spelling, too.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 2:00 am [Reply]

Yeah, my stint at Our Lady of Perpetual Motion taught me (1) Patience and (2) Virtue, and that I have very little of either. XD
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 2:04 am [Reply]

My novitiate started at Our Lady of Perptual Motion but I ran out of Dramamine and had to transfer.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 2:07 am [Reply]

Cathy(MD) Today’s offering reminds me of my sainted mother, whose purses kept getting bigger as she aged. I swear she was lugging around Samsonite in her 70’s.

Other than that, Cathy bears no resemblance to her whatsoever.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 2:11 am [Reply]

Oh, I loved the novitiates at Our Lady of Perpetual Motion! Until Mother Superior caught on and locked the gates, I loved every one that I could.

The nice thing about being a True Fable is that you don’t know whether to believe me or not, huh? bwahaha!
Skulking on the Outskirts
June 25th, 2007 at 2:14 am [Reply]

Josh, sorry to hear about your car-and-beauracracy troubles. Hopefully they’ll be resolved soon.
Poteet, my furry little roommate and I send our sympathies to you. I know it’s rough. Seems like you’re not alone in your loss, Calico just lost her feline friend, too. My own little princess is going on eight years old now, and is healthy, but you know you’re gonna outlive them….I don’t know what I’ll do when that time comes. I do know that all the Curminions are here for you. XOXO.
Jack Parsons
June 25th, 2007 at 2:15 am [Reply]

My stock New Orker cartoon captions are:
Shut up, you fuck
I just fucked your mother
(*Strangely familiar, those two?)

For the “3 guys on the ledge” one, all I’ve got is “The Indian Chief is stuck in crosstown traffic.” Y-M-CA!

For the bird one: “Even his is bigger than yours!”.

Dog, Noah: got nothin

Angels: “Yeah, yeah, angels with dirty faces. Fuck off!”
“Potterville sucks.”
Gojira
June 25th, 2007 at 2:17 am [Reply]

FYI: Thanks to Skulking on the Outskirts adding two more posts to the “Two airheads” thread, that’s 713 there. The target number here to reach C1K is now 287 and there’s less than half to go. Full speed ahead…
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 2:18 am [Reply]

Whereas my mother’s purses are shrinking. Which is a good thing because when I take her someplace I often end up carrying it along with mine. Quite the fashion statement I assure you!
But she told me this GREAT story today about how her brother stayed out of the army during World War II. (And considering that the country they were in had been overrun by the Nazis, this was even a better thing than it usually is.) The night before he was to take his physical, he stayed up drinking coffee after coffee after coffee after coffee etc. So he goes in and he’s shaking from all the caffeine and his heart’s going crazy…can you imagine the doctor thinking “No way are we putting a machine gun in THIS guy’s hands!”
Frank Parsnip
June 25th, 2007 at 2:27 am [Reply]

Mark Trail speed-read:

June 21st
MT: Sam, it’s Mark. How’s it going today?
Sam: Fine, Mark, I’ll be better when this bandage comes off!
MT: How is that going to change anything?

June 22nd
MT’s shoulder: I found and dissected the duck that came through the windshield…
MT’s belly button: It had been feeding on commercial food and not too long ago!
Sam: Do you think those birds were RAISED IN A PEN?
Empty air: No, even without ink a pen would be far too small to raise animals.

June 23rd
MT: I’m going to visit the wildlife people… maybe they can help us!
Sam: I hope so!
MT: By help, I don’t mean with your eyes. We can’t do anything about that.

June 25th
MT: Do you know of any people around here who raise game birds for pleasure or business?
Police Officer: (winking) Which do you want them for? Business … or for pleasure!
Skulking on the Outskirts
June 25th, 2007 at 2:32 am [Reply]

#172, Radioactive Mutant Lizard That Trashed Tokyo–you’re very welcome! And did you note that I added one more, two posts before you? Happy to help! BTW, are you any relation to Galactic Emperor CHENNUX? If so, would you give him my regards, and let him know that I posted something to him around, oh I don’t know, 300 or so in the last thread.
Post on, Curminions! We’ll make it yet! Or you all might, I have to get off the computer about now and get back to what passes for work where I am.
‘night, all!
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 2:39 am [Reply]

#173 That’s a great story! “Outfoxing Jerry at every turn,” as the rooster says in Chicken Run.

I forgot to make this shoutout yesterthread when it should have been made, and owning to the hour it is now I’ll need to repeat it tomorrow at a more livable hour, but I was so glad to see Gadge Cubic posting again! I was among those who missed The Man Who Would Be Preen and it’s good to see him. And HBGlord, there’s a worthy snarker if ever there was one! Now with ABW posting too, I’m a happy camper.

Not even – yeah, not even a Foobermatic Foobathon can make me unhappy. Not even Cathy, although she still Must Die. Not even Cancerbean at its funkiest.

Only the permanent loss of Rack and ‘Puppies would wipe the cheer from my shining eyes.

Rack and Puppies. Sounds like something a steakhouse or seafood house would have on its menu. sort of.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 2:43 am [Reply]

Hey cookk! An order of Rack of Lamb and Hushpuppies for True Fable!
lesles
June 25th, 2007 at 2:53 am [Reply]

#100 poteet – sorry about toto. been through that so many times, it’s part of the reason i gave up on pets. with four kids in our family, and a block that backed on to bush, we had a veritable menagerie through most of my childhood, and our yard now would be way more disturbing to dig up than the family circus yard. all of them were upsetting to farewell, even the lizards.

#110 true fable – my pet goat, “toby” is included in the necropolis. goats truly are cool.

re C1K, i would contend that as josh isn’t actually back, yet, the comments on all threads till he officially returns to duty should go towards the tally
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 2:58 am [Reply]

Yeah baby, I might have to start a restaurant with a comic theme. Naw, no Dagwood sandwiches or Popeye’s Chicken, those are franchises that already don’t want to play well with others.

But SweaterPuppies sounds more intriguing than Breast of Chicken, doesn’t it? And Rack of June beats rack of lamb because lambs remind me of goats and nobody kills goats on my watch.

Toss in some Chennux Taters (Baked By Magmacannon!) and a Tyler Almond Barky Stick (like Pocky) and a Clambake pure cheese cake, in your choice of shapes, either an acorn or a baseball. And also for dessert – oh come on. You weren’t expecting anything less than a Cinnacrumb donut, which will be free if the customer is willing to quote a snark or two on a strip or the Curmudgeon site.

Yeah, Roopville won’t know what hit it. It never does.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 3:06 am [Reply]

Cathy must die. Goats are truly cool.

If Cathy was a goat, she would win a reprieve. But she’s not, so she doesn’t. nyah. :P

Only 110 more to go, but folks, I’m going to have to wuss out and call it a night here in Greater Metropolitan Roopville. It’s 4 here and my brain is toast. This is supposed to be my off-from-work, get some damn sleep for a change night. But it’s been fun! See you around post 1000+.
Frank Parsnip
June 25th, 2007 at 3:07 am [Reply]

Gil Thorp was magic today. I was wondering when the inane ramblings of Clambake would finally lead to a confrontation.

Ken has challenged Clambake for supremacy of the tribe. To get even, Clambake will only give Ken a so-so massage after the game.
fishbulb42
June 25th, 2007 at 3:10 am [Reply]

I have just one thing to say about today’s Gil Thorp:

More information on the Negro Leagues can be found on the Internet.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 3:17 am [Reply]

The only pets I remember having as a kid were two parakeets which, if memory (fading with age and lateness/earliness of hour) serves, were named Dicky (blue) and Dinah (yellow). When I was thirteen my mother took me on a visit of The Old Country. On our return we found that Dicky had died. A touching ceremony and subsequent internment, in a lovely golden box of the same pasteboad they do jewelry boxes in, occured in the backyard with much mourning.
Many years after, my father told me that during our absence he had noticed the bird was looking “poorly”, so he took him into the shop, put him under a glass bell and…created a vacuum. He thought of it as euthanasia. Me, I thought of it as a lack-of-gas chamber. [Shudder!] All things considered, it was best I didn’t grow up with many pets.
So whatever tears unshed due to my own pet paucity go to you, poteet, and all that bear the burden of like suffering.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 3:26 am [Reply]

True Fable, I know you’re counting goats right now, but I can’t help pointing out that your proposal for a Comic Curmudgeon Cafe and you edict that Cathy Must Die can nicely intersect if you don’t mind cannibalism.
The Avocado Avenger
June 25th, 2007 at 3:33 am [Reply]

GT: Even at 3:00 in the morning, I knew I’d find a dozen others on CC who discovered today that Clambake really was a pedophile in disguise. See, we were just kidding, but damn if GT didn’t go and do it anyway. Awesome.

FOOB: I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought the first panel of FOOB was school shooting. I immediately checked to make sure I was reading FOOB and not Funky Cancerbean.

Poteet, I’m really sorry to hear about Toto.
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 3:34 am [Reply]

And I do believe that the Health Department would get on your ass if you served Winkerbean Soup, since it’s know to be highly carcinogenic.
(No, I’m not breaking up my comments to pad the count. Instead of esprit d’escalier I have esprit d’enter key.)
parati
June 25th, 2007 at 4:06 am [Reply]

MW: Mary is not the only one with a paramecium shirt, although Mary’s world is the only place I’ve ever seen a man wearing paisley. Could it be that the paramecia are actually a home-grown Charterstone infestation, creeping up on the shirts of creepy residents? They might be evil, rendering their hosts incapable of recognizing cliches or of tilting their heads at normal angles. But they might just be trying to warn us that this person has tasted Mary’s casserole and so is lost.

Also: Drew’s a bright one!
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 4:10 am [Reply]

Now if only Drew would prove that although the apple might not FALL far from the tree, it can be hurled with great force…
Old Bean
June 25th, 2007 at 4:30 am [Reply]

‘So, Ken, what first tipped you off that Clambake wasn’t really in the Negro Leagues?’

‘Just a feeling, you know? Little inconsistencies in the stories he’d tell. Like the time he came up to me in the showers, licking his lips and talking about Ted Radcliffe. Didn’t feel right – Radcliffe wasn’t with Memphis in ‘48, man! So I started doing some research on the internet, and that’s when I really got suspicious. Also, the dude’s white. That was a clue.’
Sister Sestina
June 25th, 2007 at 5:06 am [Reply]

“Come with me, Drew, beside the pool
To meet and mix and mingle,
For know ye not the Meddler’s rule
That no-one may stay single,
Except the ill-starred potion-peddler
Who’ll never get to bed the Meddler?
Galactic Emperor ChennuxÂ©â„¢Â®
June 25th, 2007 at 5:22 am [Reply]

attention earthers! constrict your…

*cough* *COUGH*

SORRY ABOUT THAT! I ALWAYS HAVE ALLERGY PROBLEMS WHEN VISITING EARTH'S UPPER ATMOSPHERE DURING THIS SOLAR QUADRANT!

ATTENTION EARTHERS! CONSTRICT YOUR VARIOUS ORIFAE WITH DYNAMIC TENSION! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

TO THE ONE CALLED SKULKING! CHENNUX NOTES YOUR POST ON THE YESTERTHREAD! CHENNUX CAN ENTER A SIXTH DIMENSIONAL PORTAL TO ACCESS COMICS OF UP TO THREE WEEKS PREVIOUS! THE MISCREANTS YOU MENTION HAVE BEEN MAGMACANNONED AND SERVED ON TOAST POINTS MADE FROM THEIR OWN SKIN! GLAD TO HELP! HAHA!

TO THE ONE CALLED POTEET! CHENNUX NOTES THE LOSS OF TOTO AND SHARES YOUR SORROW! AS ONE OF THE ORIGINAL TAP DANCERS BEFORE THE THRONE OF CHENNUX, CHENNUX OFFERS GALACTIC SYMPATHY AND WISHES OF FOND MEMORIES! ABSOLUTELY NO HAHA!

END TRANSMISSION!
CrabbyGenes
June 25th, 2007 at 5:30 am [Reply]

Here’s something to cheer you up, Josh. I dedicate this, my very first CC song parody to YOU!

(to the tune of DOWNTOWN)

When youâ€™re alone, and life is making you lonely
You can always go—to CC,
When youâ€™ve got worries, all the posts and the humor
Seem to help, I knowâ€”at CC,
Just read the daily comics and youâ€™ll feel yourself get wired!
And Joshâ€™s posts are just the thing to get us all inspired
How can you lose?

The snarks are much better there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
And go to CC! Thingsâ€™ll be great when youâ€™re
At CC! — no finer place for sure,
CC! Everyoneâ€™s waiting for you!

Commodorejohn, and Trotzenbonnie, and Little A, and Brown-Eyed Girl—at CC!
Calico, Justafoob, and Paperback Riffler, and the Spotted Horse—at CC!
SecretMargo, fizzy logic, Gadge Cubic Mole Preener,
MonkeyHawk, and Chat Noir, and Jamus the Bartender,
And Oâ€™Fogeyette—

The snarks are much better there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
And go to CC! Thingsâ€™ll be great when youâ€™re
At CC! — no finer place for sure,
CC! Everyoneâ€™s waiting for you!

Dean Booth, Poteet, and Mibbitmaker, and AhClem, and the Spider Brick—-at CC,
Islamorada Girl, Moss Moses, and Stinky Pete, and Allie Cat—at CC!
And Uncle Lumpyâ€™s always there with links and explanations,
And Dingoâ€™s links will fry your eyes and lead to exclamations!!!
How can you lose?

The snarks are much better there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
And go to CC! Thingsâ€™ll be great when youâ€™re
At CC! — no finer place for sure,
CC! Everyoneâ€™s waiting for you!

GALACTIC EMPEROR CHENEX, and True Fable, and King Folderol—at CC!
Trilobite, Hogen Mogen, Skullturf Q. Beavispants and Apple Girlâ€”at CC!
And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them along

So maybe Iâ€™ll see you there
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares
And go to CC! —thingsâ€™ll be great when weâ€™re at CC!
Donâ€™t wait a minute; go to
CC!â€”everyoneâ€™s waiting for you!

CC, CC, CC, CC, CCâ€¦â€¦

(My sincere apologies to those CC’ers whose names I was unable to use–there are so many of you, and I had to choose the names which scanned the best.)
Howie Feltersnatch
June 25th, 2007 at 5:30 am [Reply]

Ha ha! Maryland MVA once fudged up the VIN on my registration. Their computer actually let them insert a letter ‘O’ instead of a zero (you can’t use O or I in VINs). Even better, when I moved from the state, even though I gave them back my plates, months later they sent me a bill and a fine for being late updating my registration. I sent them a letter telling them to F off.

Maryland state employees are a bunch of useless pusbags.
dreadedcandiru2
June 25th, 2007 at 5:32 am [Reply]

Luann : I take back what I said about Brad having a brain. Otherwise, he’d have cut that grinning idiot TJ out of his life ages ago. My guess is that he’ll let the unreliable twit mess up his life well into his eighties because he just can’t make the connection between that oily slacker and disaster.

FW : Darin and Mopey Pete launch us into a race for information that he’s gonna lose. We know that since Batiuk is dropping his big Cancer anvil on us, Darin will only find out Lisa is his mother at her memorial service.

Foob : This will NOT end well for Shanon and the SN kids at all. The faculty at the School of Living Horrors remind me of so much Elly Paterson, willing to belive the Jermy Jeremys and their protestations of innocence out of sheer inertia. The only way they’d be stirred into action is if someone wound up in hospital and aneyewitmness caught one of their ‘precious angels’ on tape beating the crap outta a disabled kid.
Zorba the Geek
June 25th, 2007 at 5:42 am [Reply]

Oh, Josh, sweetie, sorry about the car. This is why, when Mr. Geek and I go to NYC, we never drive. We park at the Amtrack lot at BWI and take the train up. It’s just very easy to get around in New York without a car, and taking the train is so much more pleasant than flying these days.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 5:55 am [Reply]

Poteet- I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of your beloved Toto.. I’m hoisting a Rusty Trombone in Toto’s memory.
John C Fremont
June 25th, 2007 at 6:00 am [Reply]

JP – Wait a minute. If Sophie is nearly 14, then Neddy must be – of legal age! Noooooooo!!!!

Sorry.

Poteet, so sorry to hear about your loss. I will hug Scully, Mitchell (named after the Joe Don Baker character) and Shady (named after her spiritual ancestor) for you. Yes, we have a couple of dogs, but this is a kitty household. This makes the loss of two kitties in one week. I am very sad.
goaty
June 25th, 2007 at 6:04 am [Reply]

OMG…. I have a cat named Mitchell…. also named specifically after the Joe Don Baker character… after I saw the MST3K version……..

what are the odds?
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 6:04 am [Reply]

Oh Yea-a-a-h Mibbitmaker- More Lio quotes, Mule! …
Yours in Hare Bandar. Jack Lemon.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 6:06 am [Reply]

Poteet, I’m so sorry. I’m sure your Toto was a beautiful cat in the way that really matters. Extra hugs from Miss Mollie and me are on their way.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 6:07 am [Reply]

Do any of you peeps ever sleep?
And, yes, Mr. Greenback, this means YOU!

87 bottles of beer on the wall….
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 6:18 am [Reply]

Trotzskidoodle-Your point being?
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 6:23 am [Reply]

I only get to see Mr. Trotz on the weekends so I haven’t done much to run up the count on the 1000+ comment tote board. But here I am to pull up the rear as they say in the girdle business….

GT – Ken, we know how you feel. We’re still not sure that Clambake is even black.

FBOFW – Lynn, Lynn, Lynn….You’re just daring the Curmudgeons to snark on what word Shannon would print on the sign she should be holding up now that she’s gone all Norma Rae on us.

RMMD – Samuel Beckett is alive and well. More pricks than kicks, mule!

JP – That kid is how old? I don’t believe it. She doesn’t look nearly old enough to marry Jerry Lee Lewis.

MW – Poor Drew. He looks about as comfortable as Donald Turnipseed at a James Dean Film Festival.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 6:31 am [Reply]

Trotzzzzzz-zzzzzzz..zzzzzzzz….zzzzzzzz.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 6:34 am [Reply]

Red, I’m just admiring your stamina. You guys have been gleefully feasting on a delicious assortment of midnight snarks and I’m cursing my pitiful self and the need for sleep.

And, re: #203 – it’s Turnupseed. Whoops. I mean, oops since I didn’t trip or drop anything.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 6:40 am [Reply]

It’s six thirty three
There’s no one in the place except you and me
Blah blah
Something funny

We’re snarking my friend
To end this thread load
So make one snark for Red Greenback
And one to get Josh back on the road.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 6:55 am [Reply]

Looks like it’s just me and me
With 81 bottles of beer on the wall……
Mmmmmm. Beer.

There was no one to snark with so I snarked with myself….
John C Fremont
June 25th, 2007 at 7:02 am [Reply]

So if we want to believe NPR, we now have sommeliers for beer. What would be a nice, refreshing breakfast beer, Trotz? Joe Don Baker would say Schlitz…
stinky pete
June 25th, 2007 at 7:04 am [Reply]

Good morning campers! 920 and counting! We’ll be at 1000 before Josh can bribe two clerks and a meter reader. Get those hiking boots on… no, there are still no bathrooms out here… well, I don’t care if it is squished, that’s all we have left to eat…

Some light snarkage to get us warmed up for the day’s hike:

A3G: I’m beginning to think this “doctor” has no idea what’s wrong with LuAnn.

Gli Thrpo: Wow, Ken was able to get almost two whole fingers up Clambake’s nose in that first panel.

MW: Drew ~~Carey~~ Corey displays more good sense in his first minute at the party than everyone else in the history of the strip.

RMMD: After a couple of glasses of wine, June’s shirt makes Hugh nauseated.

GF: Triumph… Fiat…. Aha! Took me a while.
stinky pete
June 25th, 2007 at 7:09 am [Reply]

192 CG, nicely done! The first one is always the hardest. After that you stop caring what anyone else thinks. And I’m honored that my nom de blog scans nicely.

PS Poteet, sorry to hear about Toto, too.
messy
June 25th, 2007 at 7:10 am [Reply]

…grift you out of a 1994 Toyota Corrolla for fuckâ€™s sake.

Who the fuck is FUCK and why should we do anything for his or her sake?
jlakbj
June 25th, 2007 at 7:23 am [Reply]

Hi Josh,

I had a similar problem with the MVA and eventually solved it by calling my state delegate. He (or his staff) reached someone at the MVA who could simply correct my information. I strongly recommend that you go this route – otherwise you may be dealing with them for a long, long time.
TurtleBoy
June 25th, 2007 at 7:34 am [Reply]

Poteet: I’m terribly sorry to hear about Toto. Pet-loving condolences from over here in our parts.
Dr. Mad
June 25th, 2007 at 7:41 am [Reply]

Well, since we’re going for sheer volume, I’ll add a comment. I just saw this morning’s foob and in the immortal words of Bullwinkle “I think I shall now be sick.” I’m no help in the car Dept. at all [1] I don’t drive and [2] Even though I spent a hellish year in the Appalachian corner of Ohio, that experience has been carefully erased from my memory and I once again don’t know squat about anything east of Moline, IL . Re: the Ohio thing – I have a theory that the Southeast corner of every state [and maybe every country] collects all the crap from the rest of the state and is generally one big suckfest. Oh. it could look ok, you know where every prospect pleases and only man is vile -although it usually doesn’t. So, does this theory hold up for your state?
Krazy Kat
June 25th, 2007 at 7:52 am [Reply]

JOSH!
Why the hell didn’t you just tell them you were renting that space from some guy named Chuck Haskins?
If that didn’t work you could always give him “something on paper.”
$50 bucks is something on paper, would that do it?
ltrftp(not so first time)
June 25th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

Dr. Mad

South Eastern Ohio is the foothill of the Appalachians.
The two most depressing nf books I have read are:The Great Hunger, about the famine in Ireland; and Night Comes To The Cumberlands, about the short, brutish and nasty life in the Appalachians..

Before making jokes about either, it would help to understand, even if just a little.

The power in Moline is likely provided in part from coal from that area.

Men and women die everyday because they dug, or are still digging coal.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2007 at 8:08 am [Reply]

JP: Advice to Keith, if you can distinctly make out a woman’s curves from fifty feet away as in the first panel, marry her.
Islamorada Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 8:14 am [Reply]

Sisterwoman Poteet, I’m so sorry about Toto, and so is William the Cat (named after Bloom County’s Bill) . If your animals aren’t waiting for you in the afterlife, I see no point to it.
jules
June 25th, 2007 at 8:15 am [Reply]

Hey – those ‘94 Corollas are nice vehicles! Good luck, Josh, and let us know when you Escape from New York.

Dr. Mad – the theory doesn’t hold for my state – I’m from Southeastern Virginia. Yes, the western part of the state is prettier, but I won’t admit to Tidewater being a suckfest. :)
Saxman
June 25th, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

Josh’s car

Knowing and loving bureaucracies like I do, I’m thinking the best bet Josh has to ever see his car again is for us all to chip in and bid during the inevitable property auction.
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 8:19 am [Reply]

I have to give Lynn credit, FOOB is unusually realistic today. You have to be a retard to think you can reason with a cafeteria full of middle schoolers.

Tomorrow: the uber-realism moves to a deeper level, as Sha-non is pelt-ed with jell-o and mash-ed po-ta-toes.
CrabbyGenes
June 25th, 2007 at 8:21 am [Reply]

to #210, Stinky Pete—-Thanks!

I noticed, belatedly, that you also have a song parody for Josh in this thread. (And so do some other people.) Sorry I didn’t say anything. When I don’t compliment a song parody, it’s usually because I don’t know the original song (and there are an awful lot of songs I don’t know). That’s the case with yours. The words look good, though.

Anyway, these boots are made for walkin’, and that’s what I’m doing! ONWARD to 1000!
Tracer Bullet
June 25th, 2007 at 8:22 am [Reply]

Shan-non is finally having her Norma Rae moment (or week, considering how she talks). What world is Lynn Johnston living in where it’s so normal for high school students to openly mock Special Needs kids that Shan-non has to stand on a table and demand to no longer be treated like shit? And why do I hope so desperately that she falls off that table?
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 8:25 am [Reply]

A3G: Dammit, Doctor, I told you that quickie in the hall closet was just sex, nothing more! Now tell me what’s wrong with my cousin!

Archie: Jughead (unseen in final panel): “And I have to do all the grunt work!” Nobody appreciates the work that goes into being a good top.

Ballard Street: There’s a reason why I love this strip more than Crankshaft: cranky old man humour is just…better with a twist of insanity.

Crock: Wow, I guess all the casual anti-Arab racism made me overlook the anti-Semitism. Huh.

FBoFW: Damn, April is cold. She’s reminding me of the kids in my school who’d pick some geek and pretend that they really wanted him to run for a school office and snicker through all the speeches and hoot loudly and ironically when he was done. Hey everyone! Shannon has something to say! Shannon, start with joke – everyone loves a good tongue-twister. No wait! Even better! Why don’t you “rap” it?

MT: Mark prepares his patient for the cloacal exam: “So tell me, little birdie, what brings you to town – business … or pleasure?”

GT: There are no words for how much I love this. GT is showing its true colours as the strip that always manages to avoid the cliches it sets up by having characters that act in ways unprecedented in the history of human behaviour. I especially like the final panel: You may doubt my past, kid, but my armpit is undeniable.

MW: This is also delicious. Sunday was uninspiring, but today is just … delicious.

Plugger: I gain no satisfaction from basically calling this one (different animal, same idea). So Pluggers live in a state of extreme squalor and apathy. We know.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

Too bad about the car deal and jackass bureaucrats. I sense the maleficent hand of Jim Davis in all this – his bestial tentacles are far reaching and fans are notoriously obsequious – I’m sure they have infiltrated many DMVs, PDs and others.

No doubt payback for your riffing on him in the radio broadcast telephone interview way back when. Revenge is a dish best served up cold.
aquagirl2
June 25th, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

I’m sorry but Dilbert is hysterical today.

CLAP…

CLAP…

CLAP…
Keg of Curd
June 25th, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

Ballard Street is wildly hit-or-miss but today’s (“Phone Booth”) made me laugh out loud. If I saw that irl I’d probably applaud.
Dean Booth
June 25th, 2007 at 8:31 am [Reply]

#185 Avacado Avenger: You’re right, you weren’t the only one. Too soon, perhaps.
CrabbyGenes
June 25th, 2007 at 8:33 am [Reply]

A while back (or was it yesterthread?) the name of a certain comic was being discussed. You know, I am one of those who have been thinking all this time that it was PIG-BORN, and I’ve been wondering why anyone would name a comic that, unless it was about a baby pig, that is.

I did click on a link provided by someone recently, but it led to a naked, transparent female figure which was spread-eagled on some kind of frame. It kind of turned me off.

Now, some readers of this comic are saying that fairy-torture kind of turns them off too. So I don’t know whether to read it or not. Any advice?

And if you advise me to read it, better include a link. I don’t think it’s on the Houston comic site, is it?

Just for the record, I read FW because of this blog, but I’m not a fan. If that influences your answer in any way.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 8:34 am [Reply]

Who can take a pitcher
Show ‘im what to do
Teach ‘im how to throw a forkball, knuckler or screw
The Clambake Man! (the Clambake Man!)
Oh, the Clambake Man can! (the Clambake Man can!)
The Clambake Man can
‘Cause he fixes on one hole
And helps you pull your head, too!
(Helps you pull your head, too!)
Jamus The Bartender
June 25th, 2007 at 8:37 am [Reply]

FOOB: My dad used to tell me about these monks in Vietnam who would set themselves on fire because of the war and such….I was wondering if Shannon was gonna do the same thing. Not that I endorse kids setting themselves on fire,but if she did, that would earn FOOB some cool points. Some.
CrabbyGenes
June 25th, 2007 at 8:38 am [Reply]

#229, me. Oh wait, I goofed. The artist who does PIBGORN also does 9-CL, not Funky Winkerbean.

Well, I am reading 9-CL too because of this blog, but am fed up with the unicorn thing. In the past, I have liked the comics about the Siamese cat, though.
The Avocado Avenger
June 25th, 2007 at 8:44 am [Reply]

Dean Booth, you always make my dreams come true. Shannon has obviously jumped ship and is now a member of the FW cast. This school tragedy storyline can run concurrently with the cancer storyline, the drunk driver storyline, and the arsenic in the town’s water supply storyline. If FW doesn’t ultimately end with everyone dead a la “Hamlet”, I will be disappointed.

Pib – At first, I tried really hard to stop calling it “Pig Born”, but after it irritated me, I stopped trying. Recent developments in the strip have squicked me. I’m starting to suspect McEldowny of trying to piss off the readership, what with this new twist and the recent 9CL storyline. Perhaps he has anger issues. I still love the artwork.

#189 Old Bean – Dumb jock humor is never out of style. Just like them to not notice he was white, but catch him on a sports stats mistake.
The Divine O'F
June 25th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

I’m posting this now before reading this thread because I want Stinky Pete and other march leaders to know I am still with you, even though I’m going to be gone most of the morning. I’ve lost count, but I’m sure we’re very close to the goal now and we must keep going before the next post pops up!

I had a Funky dream last night. Was watching the final episode at the movies. It turned into a kind of Rapture, presided over by the grouchy old woman in Crankshaft. Everyone in the strip joined hands and was taken up to heaven. Everyone was smiling and happy. I, and the other audience members, were astounded but kept saying to each other that it was a perfectly appropriate ending.
zeeba
June 25th, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

Josh–Many condolences on your NYC bad adventure. Of course, something like that WOULD happen on the weekend, when only the lazy people are working at the pound. Maybe on Monday, when the real workers come in, someone with half a brain will liberate your Toyota!!!

Mibbitmaker: I KNEW there was an Aldo joke in there somewhere. Thanks!!!

Poteet: Milo the wonder dog (named for the Bloom County Milo) and I send our sympathy to you. Our pets are with us for a relatively short time, but fill our whole lives with wonderful memories.

PBS: Saturday: Dennis Mennis to Society!!! (would make a great CC s/n), although might get confused with the one and only Dennis Jimenez.
PBS: Monday: LOLOLOLOL!!! Beware the deadly spork!!

FBOFW: After reading this strip today (and it seemed to…take…forevah!), I kept hoping April or Jeremy or someone would pull the table out from under her!!
Gojira
June 25th, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

As of 9:50 EST, as Trotzenbonnie would put it, 52 bottles of beer on the wall…C1K looms.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

233: A.A.: Agree, re: FW and Hamlet. What about FBoFW –Titus Adronicus? Or something Greek — Medea? Maybe a mixture?

“Deanna you are the best wife ever! You must have given the kids Ambien again, just like I told you; they haven’t bothered me once yet! I haven’t even seen the little buggers! And what did you put in these cookies? They’re so good…a little chewy, but soft and tender!”
fizzy logic
June 25th, 2007 at 8:58 am [Reply]

Good morning campers – beautiful morning out here on the west coast. It’s early yet, so I’ve yet to get in the groove, but I thought I’d bump the post count by noting in Judge Parker today that if Sophie is indeed 14 as she states, she better see about getting some HGH injections as she is awfully short for her age. She’s about elbow height to everyone else! That’s about – what – the size of a typical eight year old?

Now, off to have breakfast – carry on, you’re doing wonderfully! CrabbyGenes, loved your song!
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

232: CG — I haven’t read it very long, but Pibgorn strikes me as manga-drawn influences filtered through Brooke’s stuffy professor sensibility — a lot of free-form panel compositions, giggly schoolboy sex humour/wish fulfillment, precious allusions to Shakespeare, wild and interesting runs of no-dialogue storytelling, lots of fun with his new toy of the moment — his airbrush, the new photoshop effects he just learned, etc. I preferred 9CL until the Turn Toward the Insufferable occurred, and now, just when I was beginning to get into the Pibgorn groove, this hackneyed virtuality/torture thing occurred, putting me off again. I just wish …. well, a lot of things re: Brooke, but mostly I wish he trusted us enough to let the subtext remain subtext for once, mostly so we can comfortably ignore it: in his case, reading between the lines usually reveals some pretty yucky stuff.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 9:08 am [Reply]

And PS to Crabby — thanks for the Petula Clark-sung shout-out. This is one song that doesn’t make want to go all Shannon-in-the-schoolyard when it runs through my head.
The Avocado Avenger
June 25th, 2007 at 9:09 am [Reply]

I know this must have been posted here – I at least saw reference to it earlier, but my eyes are focusing on the megaton of replies in the last two posts, and I can’t find the link.

Brooke McEldowney (I never get the amount of e’s right in his name) apparently posted an open letter on Usenet, where he contests that those of us who don’t like 9CL’s unicorn storyline are ignorant buffoons who were born in barns. He posted it on his LiveJournal, too, but has since deleted it (it’s still cached in Google though).

The link is at the bottom of this post, if anyone missed it, or if there’s a chance it wasn’t posted before.

I think SecretMargo’s idea of not saying anything about 9CL is an excellent one, and I’m going to adopt it from now on. However, she’s nicer than me, and she’ll probably say something positive about it if/when the strip improves. I think I’ll just stop paying attention to McEldowney altogether.

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.comics.strips/msg/75e574798ecb6b24?dmode=source&hl=en
Pelagius
June 25th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

When…will…noble…”learning…disabled”…story…line…ever…end? I…can’t…take…the…sanctimony…any…more…
Mel
June 25th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

Poteet, not really a Rhymes with Orange fan but there was a sweet one I saved… I amend it for you…

One angel to another: “What could be better? Sunny windows, fluffy pillows, and all the cats you ever loved.”

original strip: http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/home.php?date=20051118

from a long-time lurker, third-time poster
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

#234- The Divine O’F
(Love the new moniker!)
I don’t know which is more frightening – that Funky has invaded your dreams or contemplating the possibility of a Funky movie coming to a theater near anyone.

My husband and I were leaving the Piggly Wiggly* after ‘making groceries’ yesterday as a black man walked in with a young boy in a baseball uniform. The older man was gesticulating appropriately as he explained to the boy how to “choke up on it”. The spousal unit gave me the evil eye so I waited until I was halfway across the parking lot before I yelled “Clambake!” Will my view of the world be forever skewed by Gil Thorp?

*We really shop at Albertson’s because the Piggly Wigglies around here are dark, dirty and they all smell like weewee and old wet string mops but the name works better when you’re trying to be funny and I need all the help I can get.
Krazy Kat
June 25th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

FOOB-In my experience, these kinds of things lead more often to noogies and indian burns than to revelation and insight.
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

229- Crabby: If you don’t like nekkid, transparent woods nymphs and other such creatures, Pibgorn is not for you.
Gojira
June 25th, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

#238 Re: Sophie in JP: Besides the height, she seems mighty under-shaped for a 14-year-old. Isn’t that the age where certain parts start blooming and blossoming?
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 9:22 am [Reply]

CRAP!CRAP!CRAP! The Geekmeister General is on his way to Tulsa and I just stuck the little memory card from my digital camera into the wrong slot in front of my computer. How do I get it out of there? I already tried to unplug everything and shake the CPU but it didn’t fall out. Margo!Boxcar!Saturn! What am I going to do? Is it hot enough in there to melt the pictures? Am I in big trouble? Help!

Maybe I should have left those damn bottles of beer on the wall….
Whippersnapper
June 25th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

It’s really heartwarming, the way Edda and the unicorn have bonded over their utter disdain for everyone and everything that is not them. Brings a tear to the eye.
Old Bean
June 25th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

#237 SecretMargo – Beautiful.

To finish in grand tragic style, Mike realises where he’s encountered the taste before (that time Anthony invited him over for ‘PÃ¢tÃ© FranÃ§oise’), plucks his eyes out and falls to his knees yelling ‘Boxcar!’

Then someone makes a tedious pun (‘That’s a sight for sore eyes!’, most likely) and the chorus freezes in one of those Pavlovian open-mouthed foob laughs. Curtain falls. Pity and terror up the wazoo!
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

241: Nice? More like exhausted. But thanks for the sentiment, anyway.

And besides, without you and Dean, I wouldn’t have been blessed with the image of Shan…non with a (very) semi-automatic in the FBoFW schoolyard, and that’s not really a world I want to live in. Keep caustic, A.A.!
Gabe
June 25th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Al Scaduto wrote me back about a recent question we had:

Hi Gabe:

The Joe Giella you spotted on the TDIET cartoon is the one – the only- the terrific artist for the Mary Worth comic strip. Joe and I were classmates at a NY high school called the School of Industrial Art. I see him every month at at a Society of Cartoonists meeting. He’s a dear ol’ friend, who is a wonderful artist. Did you know that he also once drew the “Batman”
comic strip?

Best ever,
Al Scaduto

P. S. Why not send in an idea and if I can work it up, I’ll put your name in the “Thank you” box.
Old Bean
June 25th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Scaduto’s a real gent. Now I feel a bit guilty we continually mock his strip. Not guilty enough to stop, of course, but man, what a class act.
Mumbles
June 25th, 2007 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Oh Josh, Josh. My sympathies. I’d suspect your out-of-town plates are playing a large part in both the towing and these shenanigans (the MAN probably thinks the poor out-of-towners need to get somewhere else and are more likely to “make the problem go away”.)

**

Here’s what I’m getting from this FOOB storyline. Shannon’s flipped her sh*t because two or three idiots made comments about April being there. This suggests to me that ordinarily the special kids are left alone (or else Shannon would have flipped out sooner, or built up an immunity.)

This means, as I see it, it’s all April’s fault. She is the origin of all this derision and hate.

Like they say in West Side Story, (a) stick to your own kind and (b) you FOOBs make this world lousy.
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

9CL – So from today’s strip, we can conclude that Edda isn’t putting out for Amos? Or anyone else, for that matter? Kudos to whoever first picked up on that a couple weeks ago.
stinky pete
June 25th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

969 and counting…… 969 and counting…. (best read in a “countdown guy in Dr. Evil’s underground lair” voice).
The Avocado Avenger
June 25th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

SecretMargo, I think your post #239 illustrated the polite thoughtfulness of your reaction to 9CL and Pibgorn. I’d be all RACKA FRACKIN’ SLEAZEBALL IMMATURE WANKNUTTER FLARGNOZZLE if I were to elaborate on what I find problematic with McEldowney’s work.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

#252 – Gabe
What a gracious reply. Al Scaduto is such a gentleman!

And I love: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070625&name=TDIE

‘Bromos’ made me laugh and I like how he uses the word ‘bilious’ instead of ‘gassy’. What a class act.

(And anyone critical of his artwork could also be railing against the anachronistic TV set in Lio today…I’m just sayin’…)
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 9:41 am [Reply]

Avocado Avenger @ 233: Somewhere I thought I read that when Bigporn, er, that is, Pibgorn was discontinued at its previous site and moved to GoComics, McEldowney “rebooted” it by starting the series again at the beginning. In which case, the strips we’re seeing now were actually drawn years ago, so there’s no way they could be reactions to our (or anyone else’s) snarkery. Did I misinterpret this, or was my source incorrect?
The Avocado Avenger
June 25th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

#259 Spectacular – I don’t think these are old Pibgorns, because all the old ones are based on Shakespeare. Someone correct me if I’m wrong, I may not remember that correctly.

I didn’t mean to imply he was writing Pibgorn as a reply to any snarkiness, but that he was just generally the kind of guy who likes to irritate the fans to weed out the born-in-a-barn types versus the performing-arts types.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

259: SSB: My understanding is that he just went back to the beginning of the current storyline, which had just begun (following the Midsummer Night’s Dream thing), which made the strips at first repeats from a few weeks previous (and he reinstated the “dirtier” punchline in one of them), but now they are new stuff. People who followed from the beginning — is this correct?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

SecretMargo @ 239: Whyizzit? Dept.: Whyizzit that whenever comic characters are drawn with huge eyeballs (9CL, MyCage), it’s supposedly “manga-influenced” or “manga-style”? There’s more to a “manga” style than big eyeballs. With its dynamic camera angles and idealized body renderings, 9CL comes closer than MyCage, but even so: I know manga. I’ve spent a lot of money on manga. 9CL, you are no manga.

You want to see manga style? Compare MegaTokyo.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

Why is it every time I go away O’F changes her name? It’s hard enough to keep up as it is [by the way, the new monicker is absoluely divoon].

Josh — maybe when we all said “Break a leg” we should have said “Lose your car?” That way it might not have happened. Next time we’ll know. Mean streets, indeed.

Poteet — *sigh* Still haven’t mastered the tear drop thing, but many virtual ones sent your way.

Anyone — I see the new New Yorker cartoon is up. Do we have anything yet? Or are we boycotting in solidarity with Josh?
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Pibgorn – Is that a b.m. in B.M.’s strip today?

And, if today’s 9CL is the denouement of the unicorn storyline, I’m feeling a little cheated. All of that soul-searching and the ballerina has no better sense of who she is? The whole point of the journey was to call someone else an asshole just because they are employed in a non-artsy fartsy profession?
Damn. What’s so funny about peace, love and understanding? I guess nothing….so maybe I shouldn’t go looking for it in the funny papers.
queek
June 25th, 2007 at 10:00 am [Reply]

261: yes, that is correct. Brooke restarted the story arc, as he’d only just begun it before the host-move.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 10:02 am [Reply]

Twenty-two bottles of beer left on the wall.

There should be more than enough caffeine in everyone’s system by now to take us to 1000+ comments. Such a show of force will surely be enough to convince the brown shirts to reunite Josh with his car.
queek
June 25th, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

SSBrick, perhaps My Cage got the “manga” tag due to the fact that the artist is a manga illustrator?

http://www.gomanga.com/news/features_gomanga_005.php

Sokora Refugees. just sayin’
Old Bean
June 25th, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

Now I’m trying to imagine Al ‘Nice Guy’ Scaduto taking over 9CL and Pibgbpgorn from Brooke ‘Issues’ McEldowney. But I’m drawing a complete blank and a cha cha cha.

But d’y'ever notice?… Slice-of-life dept… After the unicorn fiasco, Brooke renames 9CL ‘Those less enlightened than myself are doomed to perform the same actions ceaselessly’. Does anyone notice the change? You got-t-t it! Oh yeah-h-h-h!

Sorry, just rambling to help the 1000+ effort.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 10:14 am [Reply]

262: SSB — I didn’t say 9CL is manga influenced, I said Pibgorn was. And it’s not the eyes (which seem peculiar to Brooke) — it is the free-form panel composition, which reminds me of shojo manga like Rose of Versailles, as well as the idea of fighting fairies flying in indeterminate space — like Sailor Moon-ish floating, battling babes. Plus, his new character is named “Satori” and wields a samurai sword, and the panel showing her rearing back to decapitate Pib echoes many manga showing similar scenes dramatizing a samurai-style execution, such as here with Maruo Suehiro portraying the decapitation of MacArthur (link SFW, but gross and a little upsetting in a Philip K. Dick kind of way — Japan won WWII in this comic)

Of course MegaTokyo is more manga influenced — it wears it on its sleeve/title. I was just saying that Pibgorn was Brooke’s way to work through the growing influence of manga stylistic markers in “Western” comics.
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

(DT)GT: They sure grow ‘em young ‘n cynical in Milford, don’t they? Who goes online to check up on a senescent oldster’s rambling stories to see if his 78-year-old’s memory holds up? Heck, i get dates and places from the past mixed up all the time, and my Negro Leagues career was a lot shorter than Clamdip’s!

Has anyone got around to saying “More information on Clambake’s storied Negro Leagues career cannot be found on the Internet”?

#244 — Ah, “making groceries” — just one of the many NOLA-isms my dear dad eventually dropped after being in NYC since the mid-’50s, along with calling the toilet “the commode” and washing his hands in a “zink.” But till his dying day he still said “coitains” to describe drapery.
Superfecta
June 25th, 2007 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Am I the only person who thought (hoped?) that this was going to turn into Shannon gunning down the popular kids? We’d all learn an important lesson or something, right?
Howard Erk
June 25th, 2007 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Welcome to NYC, Josh.

Signs, Signs Everywhere there is signs.

When 94 Corollas are outlawed, only outlaws will have 94 Corollas.
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 10:24 am [Reply]

261/265 – There have been three complete Pibgorn storylines that I am aware of: The original (now available in print as “The Girl in the Coffeecup), a time-travel story in which Geoff somehow switched places with a dying Mozart and the Shakespeare one. Are there others?
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

#271 — I … don’t … like … Mondays!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

SecretMargo @ 269: Actually, my bad; I meant Bigporn when I said 9CL. But back to my point, manga artists did not invent dynamic panel composition, and lazy artists have been using blank backgrounds for decades. To me, “manga” is like “art”; I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it. If that makes me a unicorn’s ass, so be it.

And as long as I’m being picky, Satori’s sword is not a katana; the guard is all wrong, and it comes to a point, not a chisel tip. I’d call it a rapier. Her outfit is Western-influenced, too.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

271: No, you weren’t.

CC: Here to make you feel less alone with your psychotic fantasies.
Lorinne
June 25th, 2007 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Wow, Josh, it was simply sublime meeting you! Your charming discourse and presence were the highlight of my Mocca experience. I hope this business with the car sorts itself out soon…
Hogen Mogen
June 25th, 2007 at 10:32 am [Reply]

Josh,

Sorry to hear about the whole car thing. NYC is not the place for owning a motor vehicle, and sometimes even a bicycle can be aggravating there. That’s why I moved the hell out.

My car got stolen, and a week later, some towing service who probably serves as a front company for a chop shop said that they found the car stripped and if I paid $750 for the tow, I could have it back. And, that was $750 in 1990 dollars, too. I reasoned that since the damned thing didn’t have wheels or various other parts necessary for moving it, they would charge me even more to get it to a garage. Then, the garage would charge me yet even more to put it back together, using parts off the black market procured from my own vehicle or one just like it. Instead, I bought a $950 piece of crap that lasted four years.

I’m no longer hiding behind the pretense of cool. I must confess that I don’t know WTF ROFL stands for.
Calico
June 25th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Ah, Sh*t Josh, I think it may time for another Bake Sale! I’m calling Dr. Jeff Corey right now to get his help and advice. : )

My partner received a $150 ticket for some do-not -turn-right-on red-between-some-odd-hours thing a couple of weeks ago (going to child-sit for the family’s two young ladies, no less), and it wasn’t cheap. However, I was calm and did not blow my top like Hugh Avery or some TDIET character when she told me, for which I am rather proud!

Just be super-nice with these folks and they WILL give you your car back.

And congrats again on your ROFL! fun – I put a note on DTWOF comments as well.
Calico
June 25th, 2007 at 10:37 am [Reply]

D’uh, Calico aka Moose – $150, wasn’t cheap – repeating myself – must go on vacation in the North Sea or Vietnam.
fizzy logic
June 25th, 2007 at 10:38 am [Reply]

Josh – just walk into the tow yard or parking enforcement people or whoever is holding your car hostage at this point and tell them: Shut your mouth/how can you say/I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved/just like everybody else does!

I’m sure that will get your car back.
fizzy logic
June 25th, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

996…
reader-who-posts
June 25th, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

A plugger would have just hitchhiked home.

FBOFW: There should be one more panel, with the response to Shannon’s…eloquent…protest shown by a tomato hitting her in the face.

MW: Christ, what young ‘playboy’ doctor would agree to go to an old lady’s pool party in the first place? I realize that he’s there so that he could meet the pony-tailed love of his life tomorrow, but couldn’t they have come up with a slightly less awkward way of doing it? I am happy that he hates Tobey and Chinbeard as much as the rest of us do, though.

Spider-Man: Let me get this straight – Peter is setting up an interview on his cell phone? Is that the “Spider-phone” or is he just that stupid? Ok, we all know he is that stupid…

Phantom: Could you think of anything scarier than diving overboard from a bunch of murderers only to be plucked out of the water by a nutcase in purple tights?

JP: I’m sensing a potential sweater-puppie catfight over the obviously irresistable Sam. Oh, and Sophie needs to get some hormone treatments or something before she goes through her whole life looking like a 9 year old.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

275: Okay, SSB–you’re right about the sword; I was remembering this panel, and forgot that the sword was clearly not a katana. But I stand by my other arguments; all I meant was that Brooke seemed to be performing a manga-ish experiment with Pibgorn that he wasn’t with 9CL in terms of composition, breaking certain conventions, etc. I didn’t mean that he was recreating every convention perfectly, or that Pibgorn was a manga. I still think “Satori” is a nod to this. Ahhh, whatever. I’m done talking about this here. I have a dissertation to write.
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 25th, 2007 at 10:42 am [Reply]

For Josh -

MegaTokyo’s shout-out to Baltimore:

http://www.megatokyo.com/index.php?strip_id=1017
stinky pete
June 25th, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

We made it! nice job! OK, let’s get into a nice orderly line for that drinking fountain… please… OK, now where the *margo* did we park the van..???
Calico
June 25th, 2007 at 10:45 am [Reply]

#274 – And the silicon chip
Inside her head
Gets switched to overload…
Hogen Mogen
June 25th, 2007 at 10:49 am [Reply]

Foob: What the hell kind of a punchline is “give us a chance?” And I stand by my account that as nasty and spiteful as high school kids are, there are few that would make pointed derogatory remarks about handicapped people. What kind of an immoral people inhabit Canada anyway? Back in my high school, we made fun of a lot of people, but insult handicapped people? To their face? In public? Not cool, dude. Not cool.
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

Pibgorn

Sorry if someone has already posted the link, but I wanted to practice my new html skills (thank you again, stinky pete).

No fairy toture in today’s offering, but…..what can I say?
McEldowney never ceases to surprise.
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 10:52 am [Reply]

#287 — I knew there’d be Boomtown Rats fans (or at least fans of mass-murdering 16-year-old schoolgirls) here.
MossMoses
June 25th, 2007 at 10:54 am [Reply]

61. Johnny Culver, great post but what is “Charterhouse”?
Plugmein
June 25th, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

You know you are a Plugger when you head to the big city and park illegally and wonder why your car got towed.

You are a Double Plugger if you don’t know that your registration is screwed up.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 10:57 am [Reply]

#278 Hogen Mogen

I donâ€™t know WTF ROFL stands for

Ha! Even I know that one! It’s “Right on, fizzy logic.”
Calico
June 25th, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

Geldof and Johnny Fingers are cool – definitely not the broken souls who do such things as shoot others.

I for one commend Shannon.

I actually wrote Lynn Jonston a couple of years ago, when she was still personally responding to (most) e-mails, when Dee threw a fit over Mikey’s “do it for me now, bitch” attitude – told her the scene reminded me of Sally Field in “Norma Rae.” She appreciated the comparison and told me she loves that movie.

Looks like another N-R scene, when Sally stands up on a table in the woolen mill with a placard that simply says “STRIKE.” Great movie.
(And, Ron Liebman has a lovely, lovely ass in this film too.)
Hogen Mogen
June 25th, 2007 at 11:00 am [Reply]

I get it! The funniest thought that I’ve had all hour: The Foob train wreck between Liz and Blandthony started like two years ago and is still in progress. Despite Mary Worthless’s reputation for being glacially paced and excruciatingly dull, the odds on winner of this fight-to-the-finish is that the lifeless romance in Mary Worth will come to full boil while Foob’s story line sits for so long it’s getting boils on its butt (that’s word play – see, Johnston, anyone can do it). All that we as readers are left with now are the lifeless characters, the obvious plot direction and the painful revelation of what we already know is going to happen.

Ok, that was the funniest thought I have had this hour. But I didn’t say I had a particularly prolific hour in regards to humor.
Little Guy
June 25th, 2007 at 11:00 am [Reply]

Josh: this is the same Maryland MVA which made me redo my already-laminated license after I informed them that the USPS had changed our ZIP code unilaterally, and I had to waste. another 30 minutes.

This looks like a job for Slylock Fox!
Calico
June 25th, 2007 at 11:02 am [Reply]

#291 – Hahaha Moss, I was afraid I would make that faux pas eventually!

Charterhouse is the All-Male Boarding (public) school in England that produced students such as the odd and ominous record producer Jonathan King, who happened to produce and help a band consisting of other students Peter Gabriel, Mike Rutherford, Tony Banks, and of course Mr. Anthony Phillips, without whom there would be no band called Genesis.
Dean Booth
June 25th, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

#252, Gabe: Scaduto’s reply to you makes me like him even more. Here’s a little tribute to him.
ralph
June 25th, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

First … Josh wants his GRETCHEN!
Seriously …
Poteet, I am very sorry to hear the news about Toto. To feel such pain means you have known great love. A salute to Toto’s memory and happy life on this side of the rainbow bridge. ralph
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 25th, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

6/25

Agnes: That’s right, folks. She said “tree porn.”
Ah, kids.

MW: Drew’s reaction to being called Mary’s “substitute date” is about right. Of course he should have gotten that creeping felling of dread much much sooner.

OBH: Man, that lady is dressed to Hamburgle. Oh, and Ruthie’s stupid.

A3G: “I really regret having to tell you this Blaze, but… no one buys you as a cowboy.”

H&J: Didn’t “Blondie” stop doing this joke around 1964?

SFx: In Slylock and Max’s dreams, Cassandra Cat dropped by to use the bath because contractors are working on her place. In reality, it’s probably Shady Shrew.
Hogen Mogen
June 25th, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

RMMD: June, you really ought to face up to the fact that you participated in illegal corporate activity. Don’t summarily dismiss Hugh’s assertions that you’re guilty of a felony as ramblings of a drunken man. Oh, you spiked his wine with illicit drugs, too? Yeah, June. Not only have you gone over the line with the SEC, but the DEA, too. You’ll keep your medical license, no problem.
fizzy logic
June 25th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

*Blushing*
MossMoses
June 25th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

I’m starting to like Drew for the following reasons:

1. He didn’t give a shit about his father who had been totally out of touch with the family in Vietnam for months.
2. He’s a womanizer who loves ‘em and leaves ‘em
3. He is exasperated by tired platitudes about his physical appearance.
4. He doesn’t like the Charterstone pool party
5. He spit the tofu briquettes into the trashy can when no one was looking.
6. He has devious thought balloons

Too bad I already know this is just setting him up for Vera Shields, who he will be totally smitten with, especially since they are both big thought ballooners.

As for Shannon…the…noble…’tard, I wish someone would get up on the table with her and put her in her winkie place. April’s saintly participation in this feel good pap made me throw up in my mouth a little. I’m….dreading…the…telethon.

Sophie is 14? Huh? That shrimpy little troll is an adolescent? Is that in real years or Judge Parker years?
unMichael
June 25th, 2007 at 11:10 am [Reply]

273: I can’t remember if these were parts of separate stories or if they blended with some of those already mentioned, but there was a fairy vivisection by MIB arc and one where Geoff fought baddies using an accordion.
MonkeyHawk
June 25th, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

I dunno. I was appalled (and I have a pretty high threshold of appall) by a scene in a high school cafeteria that begins with, BANG! BANG! BANG!

And the damned unicorn story goes into a 5th week?! Beating a dead horse is one thing, but flogging a live unicorn is just wrong. Wrong!
Regina M Markowski
June 25th, 2007 at 11:13 am [Reply]

#240- These Boots are made for walkin’ is Nancy Sinatra, not Pet Clark
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 25th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

Oh, one other thing. In Gasoline Alley today, all the players on the basketball court seem to have brought their own ball. Tomorrow, I want to see Slim yell, “You guys sure have a lot of balls to wake me up like this,” so his hot wife can make him wash out his mouth again.

#252, Joe Giella has a superhero background like many soap-strip artists do (Frank Bolle, Graham Nolan, etc). I didn’t know he was a closepersonalfriend of Al Scaduto. That’s kind of coo,.
Calico
June 25th, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

#100 – Jeezum, Dear Poteet, I just saw the condolences and your message as I don’t post at night (too drunk by 9 PM). ; )

I am so very sorry on the loss of your Toto. My heart and sympathies are with you.
I wish Toto a good journey out of body and know your baby is better and at peace.
Take care and if you want to talk or chat, just post and I’ll respond.

(hugs)
Gabe
June 25th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

Yeah, I knew that, remember reading it in that article on Mary/Aldo last year that he drew Bats.

Me, I’m a CPF of another Al…
Tweeks_Coffee
June 25th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

FOOB: I’ve pretty much always ignored this strip. I read it everyday, but never really comment on it. This story’s completely intolerable though. There is no way that anybody would even pay attention to her, much less change their attitudes and actions towards her.

(DT)GT: Hmm, perhaps Clambake is white after all.

GF: Ah, the pleasure one can derive from a single car-oriented pun is surprisingly high.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

306: But she did sing “Downtown,” which is what CrabbyGenes was parodying at #192 when she mentioned me (and a bunch of other ‘Mudgies).
commodorejohn
June 25th, 2007 at 11:22 am [Reply]

A3G – She’s recovering from your stupid tie. Seriously, who the heck wears a tie like that? Did he just not know how to tie it? Or is this some sort of high fashion in Idiot Land?

Crankshaft – Thank Batiuk, he’s employed! Seriously, who is she supposed to be thanking? The audience (whom she’s looking at) had nothing to do with whatshisname getting a job, and if she’s looking to Heaven, well, any God in the Winkerverse can’t be a loving one, so…hm.

FC – Does this sound like an Incantation Of Evil to anyone else?

FOOB – Shannon, I hate to break it to you, but bullies don’t go away just because you ask them nicely. They’re not doing this because they’re ignorant, they’re doing this because they’re bastards. I know Lynn writes this crap, not you, but…violence is the real solution. Start a mob, dear; beating them into submission will work a lot better than asking them to stop.

FW – Is this Slouchy Fifth Beatle from the prom storyline? His face is all messed up. I guess he’s come down with nose cancer.

GT – If it turns out that Clambake is actually a hobo who lives in the park and just happens to be a Baseball God, ala The Search For Bobby Fischer, I will be very pleased indeed.

H&L – …is this a shout-out to a friend of the author who worked at a greeting-card company? Because I’m having a hard time accepting this as a comic.

JP – No, dear, you’re clearly about eleven or twelve. Seriously, compare Sophie and Hilary Forth; the only noticeable difference is that Sophie is usually suffering from Man Face. One could swap the two and nobody would really notice.

MT – You need a permit to raise game birds?

MW – Oh, I get it. Drew and Vera will meet, and in their comiseration about how hard Charterstone pool parties suck, will discover that they’re meant for each other. There’s a meet-cute I never imagined.

MC – I have that exact same notebook.

PC – Actually, I think Winslow understands the electoral process better than Carmen does. He just needs to do a photo-op of himself on the llama ranch, wearing jeans, a denim jacket, and a cowboy hat.

RMMD – Drunken Prince Valiant Extra Vs. Angry June Morgan – the fight of the century!

SFx – Oh-ho-ho…you know who’s in the tub. Is this a shout-out on the part of Bob Weber, Jr. for KT’s infamous fanart? Also, I like the idea of a detectives’ convention. As far as the solution goes, I’d have though more along the lines of “if the water had been running for two days, it would have overflowed and flooded the house.”

Edison Lee – does not like Sam’s Club, as it is part of the Wal-Mart Corporation. (God, I could start a Joe Mathlete-ish blog: CommodoreJohn Explains Edison Lee.)
Regina M Markowski
June 25th, 2007 at 11:24 am [Reply]

311: I somehow missed that whole post, and focused in on the mention of Boots in post 222.
Sorry about that.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

Sixteen!
Spotted HÃ˜rse
June 25th, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

Poteet, please accept my condolences. I hate to think of losing my little grey cat, Magenta. Lots of folks here are thinking about you.
Spotted HÃ˜rse
June 25th, 2007 at 11:33 am [Reply]

FOOB: BANG BANG BANG BANG! It’s good to see that even as they languish in the burn ward of the residence facility, the spirit of the Kelpfroths lives on.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Zitz – Poor Walt. He looks like his wife and son are about to grill his sausage.

Red, how was you nap?

And, I just have to shout to the Curminions, even when you’re relieved of the pressure of bucking for COTW, you’re all pretty frickin’ funny.

Dean Booth – I’ll bet Al would get a real kick out of your tribute.
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 25th, 2007 at 11:37 am [Reply]

Today’s Pibgorn looks like a shout-out to Bucky Kat…

I like the term shout-out (see http://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug/2007/06/09/ “Cool White Guys”)
Dasboot
June 25th, 2007 at 11:38 am [Reply]

Haha parking in New York is such a joy. The Simpsons in New York episode is in no way an exaggeration. I remember bringing my friends truck up to move and waiting until the street sweeping day so I could park it in front of my building. On the day I got up early as hell and waited for the cleaner to come by. When it did I moved the car out of the way and then reparked it . Twenty minutes later I had a ticket because it was still in the street cleaning time zone. And then I crushed a bicycle and the parking sign it was attached to. good times.
Jim Thorp(e)
June 25th, 2007 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Clambake came up with a half-baked story.

The pedophilia charges are soon to follow.
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 25th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

p.s. Still haven’t gotten the url thing down yet, it should be:

http://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug/2007/06/09/ “Cool White Guys”. Also Pud Reilly reminds me of Clambake.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Oatmeal-GOOD!
MonkeyHawk
June 25th, 2007 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Reminders of kitty mortality make me sad. I guess I know, rationally, that day will come when my roommate takes the big nap. But that’s sort of what he’s lived for all his life. So the thought of losing him seems a bit selfish.

I share my home with the kitty-est kitty in the whole wide world. He talks to me a lot but never explains anything. He knows. And under the weight of all he knows, he naps a lot. He hasn’t been outdoors in years but somehow he disappears sometimes for days at a time.

I’m convinced he’s been beamed back to the Kitty Mother Ship and is reporting on my actions. The only rational explanation for these disappearances is that kitties are the true visitors from outer space. And they will one day conquer the Earth. Would that we could all be so serene as our kitty friends.

I suspect we’d all be just a bit more sane if we’d lick our feet more often.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2007 at 11:49 am [Reply]

261 — SecretMargo I’ve followed Pibgorn from the beginning. The storylines have kind of run together, but there was one story involving Dru’s daughter, where Dru got sent to hell to be tortured by a demon, and one where the government invaded fairyland and killed all the fairies, except for Pibgorn. She was captured and tortured by scientists.

Both this latter storyline and the current one depict Pib pinioned in some kind of framework, screaming in pain. It’s this similarity that set me off on the subject of fairy torture.

McEldowney hasn’t lost me yet, but I’m noticing a disturbing trend in his story arcs.
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 25th, 2007 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Today, I would like to be… an Unicorn!

…or is it “a Unicorn”?

I never got the ‘a, e, i, o & sometimes u’ rule straight.
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

Anonymous.in post 324 is actually me. My computer had a senior moment and forgot my name.
aquagirl2
June 25th, 2007 at 11:54 am [Reply]

This morning I read FBOFW and said to myself:

Now what do I have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?
Mountain Dew or crab juice.
Blecch! Ew! Sheesh! I’ll take a crab juice…
aquagirl2
June 25th, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

PS. #327 was re: #319.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

Hey! did we hit C1K? I’m no geologtst aright aw ready!?!?
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 11:56 am [Reply]

326- Dru has a daughter??? Who’s the daddy – Geoff? Maurice? Prince Crewth? Or could it be…hmm, let me see now…..SATAN!?!?!?
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 25th, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Unicorn Power!

http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF024AD-Nice_T_Shirt.jpg#92
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

331: Those 4 panels = Everything that ever needed to be said about the current 9CL storyline. Kudos.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

324: Ick, really?

Brooke: SUBtext! SUBtext! What do we have to do to get you to sublimate like a good boy again? The wrist-slapping with the ruler seems to be counterproductive.
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

330 — cheech wizard. Parthenogenesis! Not really, but I love that word. Some schlub in the 15th or16th century. Moral: gotta be careful who you screw, or you too will end up raising demon-spawn.
Zorba the Geek
June 25th, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

#296, Little Guy: I have a good Maryland MVA story. Just this morning, I went to renew my driver’s license, and was in and out in 25 minutes, including the eye exam, picture taking, and brief wait for the new license. The clerk was very nice and polite. I’m not telling other Marylanders which MVA office this was, though, since there’s at least a 3 hour wait at most of the others, and I don’t want everyone to come out here and mess this one up.
Cap'nCheetah
June 25th, 2007 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

We made it to 1000! And 30 over (and counting), too, we’re well on the way to 2000 :) We just may get there depending on how long it takes Josh to get the car back…

Poteet and Calico, my condolences to you for both of your kitties. They truly are friends who love unconditionally, and you will meet again someday as they will be in Heaven’s welcoming committee.
AhClem
June 25th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

#214 Dr. Mad - The southeast part of Minnesota contains some of the most beautiful country in the upper midwest, as well as the Mayo Clinic. However, I grew up in Detroit, in southeast Michigan, so your theory may hold some water.

HBGlord – Yesterthread and a few jillion posts ago, you drew an analogy between F Minus and a baseball player with a low average but a high percentage of home runs. I think that analogy is very apt, although I’ve observed that F- homers more often than it strikes out. Another strip that does it for me — maybe not as often, and with much cruder artwork — is Close to Home.

Poteet – Very sorry for the loss of your Toto. I am currently catless, but a close friend recently lost 2 of her 4 cats due to age and medical problems, so I can relate. How a critter can be so aloof and endearing at the same time is a mystery, but they manage it somehow.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

OkeyDokes, I’ma go back to the previous thread to hang with my Gramma and Toto…Fuck you Ponies.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

#329 – Red
I’m no addupnumbersologist but my calculator is so:
713 + 335 = 1048
Oh ye-aaah!
D.A.Pennington
June 25th, 2007 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

I applaud Shannon for giving that rousing, “give us tards a chance”, speech.

Granted it took her 45 minutes to say those few simple words, and I missed the start of gym class because of it, however it was an uplifting and moving speech.
susan
June 25th, 2007 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

(((poteet, my condolences on your dear toto.)))

(i just heard from my vet 10 minutes ago, that my cat that nearly passed with suspected renal failure ‘only’ had a severe liver infection that abx fixed, and will live after all- i’ve been a mess thinking we’d lose her. i know. i know.)

and thanks you guys, for making me laugh so much during all of this long ordeal.

can we make 1000 before josh escapes? the shadow knows…
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

Sorry, I’m in a very bad mood what with my loss of family members, etc. My apologies. Red
Anon
June 25th, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

In the eyes of the NYPD, Josh is just another plugger trying to beat the system.
susan
June 25th, 2007 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

doh! I didn’t see the totals. my bad.

has anyone noticed that shan…non talks really slow?
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

#342 Red Greenback

I was seriously starting to worry. What would help?
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

333. SecretMargo. Really and truly.
Didn’t you say earlier that you had a dissertaion to write? My dissertaion lies moldering in the corner, while I get on with more important things like displaying my (pathetic) expertise in all things Pibgorn.

Alas, it’s time to take the old dis somewhere without wireless internet and write another 5 sentences.
Little Guy
June 25th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

335: Granted, my MVA story was about 5 years old, and the last time I went in, it was a breeze. In fact, I warned my Missus about the long time, and she was in and out in 10 minutes. Never got to crack her book open!

FOOB: If it was an 80’s movie, we’d see some serious Phoebe Cates boobiage by now. This is an Lifetime/Afterschool Special.
Brown-eyed Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

346 — my dissertation molders as well.
Little A.
June 25th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Curtis: Why do I think that if Curtis and Michelle actually go out Derrick and “Onion” on a date they are going to run into his arch nemeses (I always wanted to use that word as a plural in a sentence) and that MIchelle will send “Onion” screaming off down the street? Or that they will run into Gunk who will have one of his invisible Island Lizards running up and down MIchelle’s body, inside her clothes? Or will little Barry somehow foul things up? Something is going to happen and it will not be Curtis’ fault but he will not learn a lesson. Love is blind.
Dr. Mad
June 25th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

Poteet, [and O'Fogeyette, I believe] I can’t really address the loss of your small friends – it’s been over 5 years and there is still [as said by some poet I can't remember right now] a cat-shaped hole in my heart. I send all my condolences and permission to respond in any way you want -appropriately or not- to those thoughtless butt-heads who say ‘Get over it, it was just an animal.” [Well, so are we all, that's the point really.] #216 ltrftp (not so first time) -I’m well aware of the coal-mining thing – my great-grandparents were coal-miners in Illinois -and I agree it’s no laughing matter. In fact, that’s precisely what made the stay in the O place so hellish – that powerful outside interests for reasons of sheer greed had more or less permanently margo-ed up the southeast corner of the state, ruined the ecosystem and marginalized the people living there. And for #219 Jules, I’m glad to hear that some states are not on the list -keep an eye on your corner though and watch out for developers.
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

334/Brown-eyed girl: Parthenogenesis? Dru? Surely you jest….

If there was ever a creature with less need of asexual reproduction, I’ve yet to hear of it.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

gh- Thanks for yer supps, I lost my brother and brother-in-law recentlly, Now i am mourning 4 Poteet’s beloved “Toto” Sister Sledge: We are Family”
MonkeyHawk
June 25th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

I cannot speak to others’ situations, but in my case, the kitty who shares my place most certainly does not love me “unconditionally.”

There are conditions.

Oh boy, are there conditions.

Like ice cubes in his water dish. The tuna water when I make sandwiches. The required “accidentally”-dropped shrimp.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

#352 Red Greenback

As are we all. Peace, brother. Sometimes veal isn’t enough.
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 25th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Arrrgh! I can’t get the lunchroom dance scene from the movie Fame out of my mind with Sha..non as star!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Artist formerly known as Ben @ 300 wrote:

In Slylock and Maxâ€™s dreams, Cassandra Cat dropped by to use the bath because contractors are working on her place.

Cats don’t like bathtubs. Instead, the cats of C.A.S.S.A.N.D.R.A. lounge around their secret crime base giving each other tongue-baths. OHH-H-H-H YE-A-A-A-AH!!!
Chert the Chort
June 25th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

9CL: Finally. Let’s hope that the vanishing unicorn is a harbinger of better things to come. Like soft-core ballet porn on the comics page.
Chert the Chort
June 25th, 2007 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Oh, one more thing: a rare funny B.C.

Well, I thought it was funny.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 25th, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

#356, SSB,
I think Slylock and Max would take that too. ‘S’all good.
The Divine O\â€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

Poteet, I’m so very sorry about your cat. I’m sure Toto is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. I want to repeat this link to a very good article (chapter, actually) about when to say goodbye, which has been of much comfort to many people both before and after the fact.
The Divine O'F
June 25th, 2007 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

…and to catch up on the Long March, which is now well on the way to 2,000:

46 Stinky Pete: excellent parody! Good scanning, good rhyming, overall terrific.

99 Crabby Genes:Well, in my head I pronounce it “Oh Eff,” and hadn’t actually considered Oaf. I think the first way has more of a flair, don’t you? Sounds better, quite apart from the gender issue. My favorite part, of course, is “The Divine.” Oh and terrific parody at 192!

104 Fizzy–thanks for asking about Google. He’s great, except for the new white streaks in his tail. He still holds his head cockeyed and has a little bit of a balance problem, but he doesn’t mind a bit and is very happy.

And thanks to everyone else for your approving comments on my new moniker.

323 Monkeyhawk–there’s a famous old sci-fi story that posits that indeed we were visited by cats from outer space many eons ago, and that they have enslaved us. Can’t remember the name or author, but someone here probably can.

342 Red: so sorry to hear about your loss of family members. This is a melancholy week, indeed.

–From the Curminion formerly known as O’Fogeyette.
Ghost Riders in the Foob
June 25th, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

Please people, clap if you believe in Clambake.
Little Guy
June 25th, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

Scatudo and Bob Weber take up the gracious proportion of the comics strips that Lynn “C&D” Johnston lacks.

Oh, and if Charlie Brown did what Shannon is doing, he’d be bowled off the table with “GET OFF THE TABLE, BLOCKHEAD!”
ed, edd, eddie n edda
June 25th, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

#358

Yeah, that B.C. was good, maybe if there wasn’t any dialog, it would stay funny much as Lio.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

YAWN! Is it daytime already?!

So, we made it past 1000 posts. Tell ‘em what they won, Johnnie!

Well, True, our contestants won a timeshare at Charterstone Retirement Village and Pool Hotspot, as well as a lovely bottle of pedestrian wine and a flattened duck.

Gee, that’s just great. And what do we have for our friend Red Greenback?

We have our sincerest sympathies, and always a place to stay any time he’s in Greater Metropolitan Roopville!

… For God’s sake, Johnnie; we want him to feel better, not fuckin’ threatened.

Yeah, well; you’re no Bob Barker either, True. I mean really.

You’re just pissed because I didn’t bring back any charred wedding cake for you.
The Divine O\\â€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

The New Yorker contest is up! So far I’m drawing a blank, but let’s start working on it, Curminions! Remember, every week as many of us as possible. Workshop or just enter and post your entry to spark ideas in the rest of us!
fizzy logic
June 25th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#352 – Red – I echo gh’s thoughts of peace to you. I also highly recommend sleep…sleep is good. Seriously, take care of yourself. We’re here for you as much as we can be, let us know what we can do.
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

And I have no idea why stray “/”’s keep appearing in my new name.
Uncle Lumpy
June 25th, 2007 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

#368 Divine O\\’F –

You seem to have passed over to the html side. I wish I could tell you it’s a better place.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

Ms. Divine @ 368, perhaps you should drop the ambiguity and hybridize your name to The Divine O’Fogeyette.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

#366 The Divine Oâ€™F

Me too. Complete blank. Maybe something along the lines “I thought it was every time a bell rings, not siren blares?” Nah, I didn’t think so.
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

OK, i admit it: I paid off someone at the NYC Dept. of Transportation to tow Josh’s car in order to help us get to our much needed 1,000 comments.

Ain’t i a stinker?
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

#352 — I hear you, brother! Whatever it takes for you to keep your cool, let me know. I’ve got your back.
Professor Fate
June 25th, 2007 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

FOOB: I find myself yearning for someone to fling a plastic tray frisbe like at Shan-on’s head. I’m not that kind of person but between the fool on the table and saintly Patterson April I find myself in the mood for some of the old ultra-violence.

Josh – Damn sorry about you car. It’s not personal by the way New York Hates everybody. I live here. I know.
fizzy logic
June 25th, 2007 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

#366 & #371 – Devine O’F & gh – I’m thinking along the lines of ignoring the police car and going with something like “Who woulda thought heaven would have a skid row?”, or, hmmm… “I would have thought our situation might have been improved somewhat…”. I dunno. This one’s difficult.
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

gh: probably not a winner, but not bad.

Here’s my first idea: “Like I always said, ‘A man’s grasp must exceed his reach, else what’s a heaven for?’”

Others: Should I, per Spider Brick’s suggestion, change to “The Divine O’Fogeyette?” That might be more understandable, even though everyone calls me O’F anyway.
Justafoob
June 25th, 2007 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Shan…non takes a stand.

Sadly, nobody listens to her and the insuing food fight leads to a banana being lodged someplace, well, ummm… delicate….
Dean Booth
June 25th, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

#366. Here’s a try:

Salga del camcorder, Ã©l es los Ã¡ngeles de Los Ãngeles.
Dean Booth
June 25th, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

#378, me: That’s babelfish Spanish. The first clause is supposed to be “Get out the camcorder,” but it doesn’t translate back that way.
UL
June 25th, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

#376 The Divine O’F –

Nope: compression — always good; more poetic-like.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

New Yorker cartoon –

[work with me on this one]

It’s purgatory, okay? Get over it. People in hell are screaming for ice water.

I think the purgatory angle may be off-base enough to merit a raised eyebrow at the NYer.
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

#376 –I say keep the handle short and sweet, just like you. (Not that i know how tall you are — i guess “short” can refer to your vision. The sweetness is undeniable.)

I still got it!
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

New Yorker – My first thought is, “I can remember when this used t’ be a nice neighborhood.”
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

#381 gh

I’d cut the second sentence.
stinky pete
June 25th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Devine: City in Texas; Former Notre Dame football coach Dan; Dead Ned in a 1998 movie.

Divine: Heavenly; O’Fogeyette-like.

Do we have another Thrpo/Thorpe situation on our hands here?

Divine O’F @ 376, I say you should call yourself The Divine O’Fogeyette, and let us abbreviate it if we choose.
Calico
June 25th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

Red – we are with you. It’s been a hard couple of years – I hope we can find some peace after the stress-storms of human and animal-companion loss.

Take care and vent, dammit, vent! It’s good for you.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

The Divine O’F
Did you vote for a favorite caption to go with the New Yorker cartoon of the dog holding the stick yet?

I can’t understand why “He’s a Tai Chi-huahua” isn’t up there.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

NYer –

OK. Different track.

You know that thing about the seven people you meet in heaven? You three weren’t on my list.

It’s called brainstorming, people!
Little Guy
June 25th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

Oh, for the love of –

Shan….non…. has a school named after her!
Perky Bird
June 25th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

OK, here’s Hugh Avery’s entry for this week’s New Yorker caption contest:

“Of course we’re in Heaven! If we were in Hell, this wine would be pedestrian.”

Seriously, I can’t think of anything to enter for this one; it’s pretty tough.
stinky pete
June 25th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

NYer: Based on the fact that the guy on the left looks like he’s yelling at the cops: “Oh, like you never committed a venial sin, asshat?”

I just wanted to get “asshat” in there.
Slither
June 25th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Josh: A’94 Corolla! It’s probably one of the best cars in their impound yard.! I can certainly understand why you want it back — good luck on that, and let the stupid MD MVA have it with both barrels once you get the car back. I’ve dealt with them when I lived in Md — you have my sympathy. If you are a real Corolla afficianado, try this site: http://www.corolland.com. I post there under my real name, which you know.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

#385 stinky pete

It’s always that [Margo]ing e, isn’t it? [And a belated "Welcome back!"]

#391 stinky pete

Asshat works for me. I’ve started using it around the office and even the ladies crack up.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

NYer –

And they say you can’t take it with you.

Stop me, please, someone!
fizzy logic
June 25th, 2007 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

#385 – Stinky Pete – Oops – that was me that can’t spell Divine – I’m a real asshat. Consider me cured. Once shamed, never to offend again!
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

I can’t italicize or anything but here’s my NYer caption:

“Yeah, after the Second Vatican Council things went downhill pretty fast.”

Alright…groans to the left, guffaws to the right.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2007 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Ok, Josh, here’s what to do. You leave the car there, take the plates off, scratch the serial number off the engine block, and walk away. You tell the insurance that the car was stolen, and then you get another one free. They’ve already deducted the deductible from the car, which you’re leaving. So the net is zero. You pocket the money, if there is any, and you get a new car.
Jamus The Bartender
June 25th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

(Gene, thanks for the props in the song, I saved it to my wordpad with hopes of reposting it to my own blog, credit where credit is due and all that. Poteet, I was sorry to hear about your cat too.
On with the silly)

Dick Tracy’s Crimestopper’s Textbook
Today’s Lesson: Dick Looks At This Week’s Comics

Okay. So. The ol’ detective is still cooling his heels at Christ In America headquarters…you can tell by the big sign…waiting for Gretchen and babysitting this old geezer. Saint Peter On A Pogo Stick I hope they don’t ask me to wipe him…anyway, thought i’d check out this week’s funnies again…kill some time on the government’s dime…
9Chick: Okay, i’m a little confused here…did the ballet dancer fuck the unicorn, or what? It sure as hell looks like it. Goddammit that’s not right. The ballet dancer has a sweet little ass to die for, but it’s still not right.
Archie: Bitch, bitch, bitch. When I was your age, I hadda sell apples in the street to make ends meet. We had a depression going on. A DEPRESSION. Damn kids these days…
The One With The Cavemen Who Somehow Know About Our Lord And Saviour, Jesus Christ: HAW HAW HAW…now THAT was funny….hitchiking freeloader liberal bird gets knocked on his ass by the slow, but consistent hard-working turtle. You’re okay with me, turtle.
Cathy: Okay, did someone just drop some yarn on the floor, take it’s picture, add some words and call it funny? And people get paid for this shit? In my day, you had to research about parrafin tests, bullet tests, different kinds of ballistic wounds and such to put together a quality comic strip. Not anymore it seems…Goddammit…
Family Circus: “Hippity Hop to the barber shop” More like “Okey dokey to the county pokey in the care of good ole Smokey, and a shot to the dick by Senor Nightstick”
For Better Or For Worse: Okay….the little fat kid, what’s her deal…is she like that goddamn John Lennon or something? Is she gonna marry a Japanese artist and tie up fucking traffic for hours with a goddamn bed as some kind of protest? Well, just tell me now, so we can bust her ass now instead of having to put up with her nonsense later.
Luann: Okay, what’s with Brad and his boyfriend on the phone…is this some kind of Felix and Oscar thing? That was a good tv show…Charo turned up once…but I digress. This is SUMMER. We should be seeing Luann and the girls prancing around in bikinis….I can’t believe I paid fifty cents for this shit…
Judge Parker: You know, I was gonna ask who in hell this Judge Parker is and why he never appears in his own strip…until I got a good look at Trudi. Damn, she’s a brickhouse. Personal Note To The Artist/Writers of Judge Parker: If there’s any way you can hook up Trudi and Abbey in some kind of “affair” if you know what I mean, and I think you do, this favor will not go unrewarded, and by this I mean a trip to the police one-stop shopping place, the evidence locker.
Popeye: I briefly worked with Popeye in the thirties, and let me tell ya, he deserves a girlfriend with actual breasts. But not before I get one.
And that’s it. Have a good summer kids, but whatever you do…keep your hands off the tan sedan and I wanna see the hubcaps still on them.
Dick Tracy
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

381 gh: Oooh, I like it! I like it as is! Maybe you ought to send it in.

382 HBGlord: Oh, yeah, you’ve got it! Are you Irish, perchance? And for the record, I’m 5′8″.

387 Trotz: I didn’t vote because I didn’t like any of them. I do like yours, though. Did you send it in?

388 gh: Another good idea. How about for the second sentence something like, “So far it’s not working out.”
The “can’t take it with you” one is too obvious, and will be submitted by dozens of people.
Dennis Jimenez
June 25th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

Re: 389: http://signs.safeshopper.com/151/62.htm?189
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

396 Trotz: Bwahaha! Send it in!
Anon
June 25th, 2007 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

You know you are a Plugger if you drive a Toyota that is over ten years old.
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

We…..
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

…can….
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

…3000….
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

….as…..
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

….long….
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

…as….
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

….I….
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

….keep….
Allie Cat
June 25th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

One good thing about 9CL…

Apparently, because of it, I had unicorns on the brain last week, and doodled one on the whiteboard outside the cube of the guy who was starting today. My boss saw it and told me my job on Friday was to fill the new guy’s cube with “rad pictures of unicorns” for Monday.

Which, with the help of two colleagues, I did. We even set his password as unicorn.

Fortunately, he has a sense of humor, and thanked me for all my hard work!
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

…post…..
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

…..ing…..
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

402 – You know you are a Plugger if you drive a Toyota that is over ten years old.

Pluggers are UAW workers. They don’t drive no furrin’ cars.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
June 25th, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

Also, I have doubts that a true Plugger would visit NYC for the purpose of some sort of performing arts endeavour.
Plugmein
June 25th, 2007 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

402 – You know you are a Plugger if you drive a Toyota that is over ten years old.

Pluggers are UAW workers. They donâ€™t drive no furrinâ€™ cars.

Unless you are an Akita…
Anon
June 25th, 2007 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

You are a plugger if you go to NYC for a performing art endeavor and think you are going to hit it big…
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

#399: I kinda figured, Divine O’F — you write tall and regally. And while i have no (known) Irish ancestry (undifferentiated Afro-American, with some Euro-American ancestry, like most of us), i have been within Blarney Stone-kissing proximity whilst in the Emerald Isle with my wife as she researched her ancestry.

I seem to recall that you’ve worked as a professional TV writer — i’m guessing you’ve done a fair amount of script doctoring, as your editorial suggestions are pretty spot on!
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

…..Please…..
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

….listen….
MossMoses
June 25th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Now that Drew has dissed the Charterstone pool party in his thought balloon, it would be really entertaining if he’d either drop trou’ and take a piss or else vomit in front of those waspy snobs. Doctor Spew Corey – the vomit doesn’t fall far from the pee.
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

…to…
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

….my…
Shan....non
June 25th, 2007 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

…plight!!!….
Harry Worth
June 25th, 2007 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

If you are under 45 and are attending a Charterstone pool party, you are

a) a loser

b) a loser squared

c) a loser extraordinare
Allie Cat
June 25th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

#425 – d) Dawn Weston
Harry Worth
June 25th, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

#426 the difference between Dawn Weston and a loser is??????
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

#399 The Divine Oâ€™F

I’ve only got one shot. The first one I like better with my edit. The second I like better with your edit. The third one, I agree, will be stacked up over the NYer building with 3,000 matches. I’d like more input on #s 1 (@#381) & 2 (@#388) before submitting one or the other — we want a curminion(s) entry to win, place or show people: all suggestions appreciated! Prize money goes to Josh to get his car out of impoundment! If we polish both, I can submit one and someone else the other.
cheech wizard
June 25th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

gh – 381’s the better of the two, but lose the sentence about ice-water.

Trotzenbonnie – I’d send in #396 as well – both are worthy contenders.
June Morgan's Larger Breast
June 25th, 2007 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Josh, rotten luck with the car. I also think your story deserves Scaduto-ization. When I saw the New Yorker cartoon I instantly thought of your predicament: maybe you and Amber will languish in NYC unto death, angels with bottles eternally harassed by the Man?
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

418 HBGlord: thanks for the compliment. I have done a whale of a lot of editing, but mostly of books and book proposals. I am actually [if I do say so myself] a very good editor.

428 gh: There is no prize money, just a framed copy of the cartoon. Which could probably be sold on ebay. Could you please repost your entries, with the edits? I was about to, but got confused. Also, nobody commented on my first attempt, which I suppose was too literary (â€œLike I always said, â€˜A manâ€™s grasp must exceed his reach, else whatâ€™s a heaven for?â€™â€)

And now I have another vague idea involving the seventeen virgins not working out. Anyone?
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

#429 cheech wizard

I like it! I think I cut the wrong sentence.

#396 Trotz

I’m no theologian, but I agree with cheech. It has resonance!
MonkeyHawk
June 25th, 2007 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

My NY offering. Not sent; simply an idea:

“It’s gettin’ so ya can’t drink Jesus anymore without the cops buttin’ in.”
Dorrie
June 25th, 2007 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

Just keep posting

posting

posting

Just keep posting
schlimmerkerl
June 25th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

Let me get this straight: you drove into New York? Wow.
Bootsy
June 25th, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

Poteet, may I add my condolences to everyone else’s?

HBGlord, glad to see you back! I spent Saturday night at the Maple Leaf Bar listening to to the blues stylings of T Model Ford, who, after every song, shouted out “Jack Daniels time!” I of course followed his lead so everybody, sshhh! Don’t talk so loud! My head still hurts.

For Trotz and HB – I still make groceries, and I will occasionally wrench something in the zink. (Any of you yankees who know of what I speak, props to ya.)

The Divine O’F: lovelovelove the new moniker! It suits You! Also, thanks so much for the pet link of several threads ago. Mr. Books and I are having the “discussion” re our elderly Bouvier, and though that made me cry, the article was helpful.

People! While we all sympathize with Josh and Amber’s car plight, sorry don’t feed the bulldog. Show your love by putting something in the tip jar. Popes gotta eat too.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

#431 The Divine Oâ€™F

I blush to say I didn’t see your caption. I (edges away) didn’t read most of the 700+ comment yesterthread. Or most of 1-200 of this one. Nice twist on the Browning, but it might be over too many heads. Has potential as a concept though.

Here’s where the two I started stand at present:

You know that thing about the seven people you meet in heaven? So far it’s not working out. [gh & O'F]

Itâ€™s purgatory, okay? Get over it. [gh with edit by cheech wizard]
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

9CL: All right, I’m giving Brooke McEldowney a reprieve. If he goes back to drawing, tomorrow, I will not make a voodoo doll and stick pins in its eyes.

Although I read most of the other comics, I cannot bring myself to comment on them. The depth of inanity and stupidity displayed today is simply breathtaking.
Dean Booth
June 25th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Let me try again with my caption entry — you know what they say: if you have to explain it, it’s probably hilarious.

Â¡Gire el camcorder, Ã©l es el policÃa de los Ã¡ngeles!

Why Spanish? ‘Cause it translates “Turn on the camcorder, it’s the Los Angeles police!” or “Turn on the camcorder, it’s the police of the angels!” See why it’s funny? — they’re Los Angeles police so they’re likely to beat up the Hispanic guys on the street. A real knee-slapper, eh?

…I should stick to photoshop.
Unquist
June 25th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: So the heinous stolen quarters made the bread weight about 8 lbs. At 5.67 grams per quarter, that works out to about $160 worth of quarters hidden in that bread. What kind of baker steals just $160 from a soda machine? Is his business doing so poorly that he needs to rob the good people at Coca Cola of their hard earned $160? And why would he keep that particular loaf on display?
Formerly known as Hogen Mogen now known as "Clambake"
June 25th, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

#425 – Harry Worth says:
If you are under 45 and are attending a Charterstone pool party, you are
a) a loser
b) a loser squared
c) a loser extraordinare

***Toeby is none of the above. She is obviously a trophy wife married to a bloated hack. She clearly
wants a romp in the sack with someone who weighs less than 300lbs and doesn’t snore like a grazing buffalo right afterwards. Unfortunately for her, Dr. Corey the Younger seeks a blonde with a measureable IQ. Since he is destined for Vera Shields, the IQ doesn’t have to be high in the double digits, but it does have to measure.
idolatrous confectionery
June 25th, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

Long-time lurker, first-time poster:

Trotzenbonnie #396, I’d edit it to Yeah, after Vatican II things went downhill pretty fast. It’s punchier.
June Morgan's Larger Breast
June 25th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

#433 I like it!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

New Yorker cartoon submission idea:

All right, so it’s fortified blood of Christ. You got a problem with that?
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

NYer: unsubmittable, but what came to mind:

…and then one little Tom Cruise joke and BANG! it’s out the Gates I go…I tell ya, nothin’s been the same since the Scientologists took over…”

And The Divine O’F — I’d leave it abbreviated, if I were you; the cadence works better (said “O-F,” not “oaf”), and it resonates well with your most immediate namesakes: The Divine Miss M., of course, as well as The Notorious B.I.G.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Oooh, or another one!

Hey, some of us choose to be harpless.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

#421 – MossMoses
I’m hoping, at the very least, that Drew tosses a Baby Ruth into the pool.

#433 – MonkeyHawk
TMMLOL! And it reminds me of my brothers & sisters baking choc chip cookies in my mom’s kitchen. My middle brother always had to hold them up like it was the Transubstantiation and they were communion wafers. We called them ‘Chips O’Jesus’. (Please don’t imagine us as the Family Circus kids. We were all in our twenties and thirties when we started it).

#435 – Schlimmmm
What’s wrong with driving to New York? I just drove to NY from Laf LA (and back again) last month. How else could I see the magnificent and intensely emotional rolling of Rolling Thunder through Alabama and an old lady driving through southern VA with a big load of eight foot tree branches protruding from her back window? You can take trips or go on journeys, Kemo Sabe.

And, re: the NYer caption contest, I’m in – as all of you great snarkers should be. Thanks for the encouragement.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

444: That is fantastic, SSB.
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

#431 The Divine Oâ€™F –

I stand corrected.

The Qualified Winner of each Cartoon Caption Contest will receive a print of the cartoon, with the caption, signed by the artist who drew the cartoon (the â€œPrizeâ€). If the winner cannot be contacted or does not respond within three (3) days, an alternate winner may be selected, at the sole discretion of the Judge(s). The approximate retail value of the Prize is $250.

Seems kinda cheesy for the New Yorker.
T. Chicana
June 25th, 2007 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Dr. Mad, were you at Ohio University? The southwest corner of Ohio is VERY scary. But the north coast (Lake Erie) is lovely, like a metropolitan, quaint, ethnic, nautical, tough, industrial wonderland.
MW: I like Drew already. He is super smart. How lame that Mary is calling him her “substitute date” as if his dad is really her real date anyway.
Foob: It reminded me of Dead Poets Society. Do you think everyone will stand up also? I really don’t have a prediction of what will happen here. I’m sort of at the edge of my seat, and yes, I’m ashamed!!
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

439: …And so I thought, “‘City of Angels?’ How bad could it be?” Well, I don’t think I have to tell you what happened next…
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

#442 – idolatrous con
Crap! You’re right. But it’s too late…..although I did shorten it from the oh so cumbersome Second Ecumenical Council of the Vatican.
Islamorada Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Remember kids, it’s The New Yorker! It doesn’t have to be funny!
It doesn’t even have to make sense!
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

Margoe!
Dennis Jimenez
June 25th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

You’ve got a cartoon with a couple of bears talking about the stock market, and you call it humor.
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

#436 — Good to be back, Bootsy! And though i’m a native New Yorker son of a Louisiana man, i do season my food with Tony Chachere’s as part of my legacy. And i absolutely drown my red beans & rice in hot sauce, much to the shock and delight of my New Jersey-born missus.

Did T Model Ford show you his stick shift and his one bald tire, as he’s often prone to do once he’s knocked back a few?
gh
June 25th, 2007 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

#452 Trotzenbonnie –

I suggest you sign a release and let #442 submit forthwith.

#450 T. Chicana

OU alum here. BA in Creative Writing. Look where’s it’s taken me! The MA in English was just icing.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

NYer contest: There has to be some humorous potential in the fact that Heaven would even need cops. I just can’t figure out how to phrase it. Maybe someone else could.

Also, maybe something to do with police dogma.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Gortner!
June Morgan's Larger Breast
June 25th, 2007 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

SSB you’re doing great! I wish someone would come up with something from the cops side.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

HauserWings!
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

#447 — Trotz, in 1987 i bought a car from my cousin in New Roads (Pointe Coupee Parish, near False River) and drove it back to NYC (Hoboken, actually) in two days. The vehicle being equipped with only an AM radio, and my trip beginning on a Sunday, from about Jackson, Miss. to my overnight stop at a Motel 6 in Knoxville, Tenn. all i had to listen to was NASCAR — that’s right, automobile racing on the Margoing radio! That was the moment i first internalized the phrase “culture shock.”
Proteus
June 25th, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

C1K comment, even though we’re way past that now:

We averaged about 63 words per comment on the last thread, including our names and the time and all that crap which I’m damned if I’m going to spend the time deleating before running a word count.

So C1K = 63,000 words, which, at 250/page is about 252 pages.

Insane? Yes, but all of it is comedy gold!
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

Um er uh the guy at the impound guy desk: Lee Von Cleef with a small penis!…OkeyDokes…
Rich
June 25th, 2007 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

just so you know, as of about 10 years ago, if your car was there for more than 14 days they legally took poseesion of it and it was sold at auction.

Hopefully it’s not like that anymore
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

“Streets paved with gold, my ass!”

or

“See that cop driving? I heard he was supposed to come back as a roach. It’s all who ya know, I tell ya.”
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

#457 – gh
What the hell….I’ll do it for the cause! I will sacrifice personal glory for a better chance at Curmudgeon dominance of all cartoon media! Submit the truncated version….somebody!
And Go Bobcats! I was once married to an OU graduate (I’d say ‘may he rest in peace’ but no matter how many times I do, he haunts my clothes dryer to this very day).
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

460: The Breast Asks, The Breast Receives:

I know the department frowns on profiling, but between you and me, I’d keep my eye on the ones with dirty faces.
June Morgan's Larger Breast
June 25th, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

468: Oh my God, you nailed it Brother!
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

#436 (#456 add) — I didn’t mean to possibly besmirch your honor by accidentally implying that T Model had flashed you personally, Ms. Books. I merely meant that he has been known to air-cool his engine (if you catch my drift) onstage once he’s had a few of those “Jack Daniel’s times.” He’s kept it all under the hood whenever i’ve seen him, though.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

#462 – HBGlord
That’s insane. NASCAR is boring enough in person! I mean, if you can’t see the crashes, what’s the point? What the hell is there to listen to?
You are a native New Yorker and you married a woman from New Jersey? I thought there were laws against that. (I was born in Poughkeepsie).
T. Chicana
June 25th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

GH, good for you for sticking it out in Appalachia! I dropped out after two quarters. Another oddity: quarters! I eventually got my degree in journalism from KSU. And THIS here blog is the only time I write anything that I care about. At least I have this. (sniff)
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

#460: “Cripes, I hate molting season.”
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

“In fourteen hurdred and ninety-two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue’
“around 1849 model train sets were introduced”
Father Jerry
June 25th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

#468 – SecretMargo
All right fellas…let’s go and say a prayer for a boy who couldn’t snark as fast as you could!

Send that sucker in!
June Morgan's Larger Breast
June 25th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

#473 True Fable, this too pleases the Breast.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

#476 JM’sLB: I’m all about pleasing breasts. Thanks! :)
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

469: I would never have thought to make the police speak if you hadn’t brought it up.

475: Well, I pulled the trigger, even though I think it could be more economically done. If someone creates a better version of it, send it in! I don’t workshop well, and am impatient, but not terribly possessive.
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

441 Clambake nee Hogen Mogen (Really? You’re changing your name too?): That was very funny. Why did you change your name?

I love the Christ and Scientology jokes, but somehow don’t see them in The New Yorker….

451 Secret Margo: I like this one, but better without the last sentence.

Oh, Margo! I’m losing track of everything. We have a serious pack rat problem and are not agreeing on the solution and now I’m off to Ace for probably two hours of dithering.
commodorejohn
June 25th, 2007 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

Re: the New Yorker – “Wonder if they’ll throw us in with Lucifer again.“
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

#471 — Eggs-zactly, Trotz! It was vrrrrrrrrrrooooooooom! vrrrrrrrooooooom! and some guys trying to be heard over it.

Wow! You’re an escapee from Po-town, as my Poughkeepsie-born-and-raised friend tried to get it rebranded. No wonder you set off for the exact opposite yet still technically in the United States sort of place.

As far as the NY/NJ mixed marriage goes, you learn to settle.
Al
June 25th, 2007 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

How much is it to get a car out of hock in NYC?
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

CC Lexicon: “SPESS”…figure it out, eggheads!
F. Cecious Lee
June 25th, 2007 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

RE: 474

I though it was “In 1493 Columbus sailed the deep green sea”

At least that’s the way they taught it in Florida.

(Just kidding, I got that from a friend of mine’s book called “It All Started with Columbus”).
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

#479 — Divine O’F, i misread your last sentence as “We have a serious rat pack problem” and imagined Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop rummaging through your trash. Please don’t correct me if i’m wrong.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

479: I agree, re: my “City of Angels” joke –but I already submitted one. It’s Dean Booth’s idea, really — Dean, you wanna revise and submit it? Although you’ve probably come up with something better by now…

SSB — I still like the fortified Christ-blood joke, and it actually seems quite NYer-y to me. Good stuff!
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

#484 — Yay! Richard Armour! I loved his fractured history books when i was a tadpole and forgot all about them until you rang the memory bell loudly and clearly.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

466: TF — The second one made me laugh.
MossMoses
June 25th, 2007 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

479. O’F, “serious pack rat problem”.

Perhaps Raju could be of assistance in determining the root cause of the problem and resolving it. He’ll be back from his State U boat wrestling studies in a month (or a few years real time).
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

#488 SecretMargo: That’s the one I’ll go with, then.

#483 Red Greenback: Um…”Special People Exude Special Speeches”?
“Some People Expect Salty Snarking”?
“Snarkers Purposefully Eliminate Sappy Sayings”?
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

And for the record, “Christ. What an asshole!” still works this week, too.
June Morgan's Larger Breast
June 25th, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

478: SecretMargo, that’s the brilliance of DO’F’s team captioning idea.
Hal Jordan
June 25th, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

Long-long-long-time lurker (My lurking goes back to the “More zippers, Mule!” era), but the time has come to break my silence…

(I also hate the) Maryland MVA – When I moved from Colorado to Maryland, I brought my Colorado driver’s license, my passport, and a copy of my birth certificate down to the local MVA office. After a reasonable wait, I approached the counter and told them I had recently moved from out of state and wanted to trade my Colorado license for a Maryland one. Also, my previous license had a typo on it. My middle name was spelled incorrectly (as my birth certificate and passport clearly showed). Could I get this error corrected? The answer of course was, “No.” Despite my best arguments (â€œYou are issuing a license to someone who doesnâ€™t exist!â€ â€œWhy should an out-of-state id take preference over two forms of id that are clearly listed on your sign as valid?â€ â€œYou are making a mistake!â€), the answer was still, â€œNo!â€ Needless to say, it took less than two years to determine that the East Coast was decidedly NOT for me. I returned to Colorado and have never regretted that decision.

Rex Morgan â€“ I was expecting as much indignation about this story line as Foobâ€™s Revenge of the â€˜Tards. â€œAfter a couple glasses of wine, Hugh accuses Heather of conspiring against him!â€ But they did, Dammit! Thatâ€™s exactly what they did. They set him up and suckered him out of control of his fatherâ€™s company. Heâ€™s right! So why is he the villain in this story? Why is that gold-digging whore our hero (I know why Juneâ€™s our hero â€“ that beautiful, bitchy ice queen can slap me and call me maggot any day!).

End rant â€“ Iâ€™ll go back to lurking nowâ€¦
AhClem
June 25th, 2007 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

#460 JMLB -
“…I wish someone would come up with something from the cops side.”

I’ll give it a shot:

“Cops or not, we’re STILL governed by the laws of physics in a high-speed chase!”

“Rookies! If you hadn’t been playing with the goddamned siren switch, you might have noticed the “BRIDGE OUT” sign!”
Uncle Lumpy
June 25th, 2007 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

#493 – Hal, don’t go!

Well, the whole RMMD setup was empty drama, anyway. Heather is the majority shareholder; Heather “elects” whoever she damn well pleases to the Board. Control of the company was always hers.
Islamorada Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

462, 484—Richard Armour! Boy, does that bring back memories!
I loved his books! Funny, funny, funny.
Aredvark
June 25th, 2007 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

Just think of it as new material. ;)
June Morgan's Larger Breast
June 25th, 2007 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

494 AhClambake I like the angels formerly known as rookies angle. Hmm…
Uncle Lumpy
June 25th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Hey Josh, at 72 hours it’s officially a vacation, impound or not.
HBGlord
June 25th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

#496 — Interesting that us CCers have a lot of the same comedy touchstones — NatLamp, Firesign Theater, SCTV — and now Richard Armour. You are truly my people!
Islamorada Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

I bet Josh isn’t feeling too funny right about now.
We could form a jolly band of rogues and storm the impound lot.
Of course, this being New York, no one would notice. No one ever noticed anything when I lived there. There was once a SWAT team on the roof of my building and I didn’t even bother to ask them why.

All the captions are truly excellent, btw. Better than anything that shows up in the real New Yorker cartoons.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

501: I usually agree re: the NYer’s commitment to the tepid, but today’s Noah’s Ark-themed winner is actually quite funny, in my opinion. Maybe there’s hope for us yet!
willethompson
June 25th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy! Didn’t Josh leave the keys to the blog with you? Don’t you have the envelope with the papal seal to be opened only in case of emergency or vehicle impound? Someone needs to feed and water the ‘Mudges! Good lord, don’t let GEChennux stage a coup or anything! Can’t you go all Cap Weinberger or sumptin’?
Mibbitmaker
June 25th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

Give Us A Chance by Shannon NotLennon

(elipses deleted)

2, 1-2-3-4
Ev’ryCC’s talking about
Lynnism, Lizism, Mikeism,
Mtigism, Blan’ism, Foobism
Theyism, weism, wisdom-isn’t ‘ism
All we are saying
Is give us a chance
What I’m barely saying
Is give us a chance

Ev’ry CC’s talking about
Noble ‘Tards, retards, short bus,
Screw us, winkies and blinkies
Jinkies, Twinkies, Closed-eyes
Like one eye of Popeye, aye-yi-yi
All we are saying
Is give us a chance
What I’m barely saying
Is give us a chance

Let me say it slow
Convolusion, ArtIntrusion,
Alienation, Canadanation,
Emaciation, Dreaducation,
Especially in Mtigination
Ignorant Student Lunchroom

(Refrain)

Ev’ry CC’s talking about
Clambake, Aldo Kelrast, boat wrestlin’,
BC-lievers, Hugh Avery, Oki Merlot,
Lisa Cancer, Edda, Unicorn,
Flattop Hitler, Harry ‘Testes
Harry ‘Testes
Harry Paratestes
All we are saying
Is Give us a chance (repeat ad nauseum)
What I’m barely saying
Is Give us a chaaaaaance

Bea…uti…..ful! Bea….u….ti…..ful!
CLAP CLAP CLAP
Uncle Lumpy
June 25th, 2007 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

#503 wille –

Don’t you mean Al Haig?

Anyway, no. I thought of asking, but Josh seemed to be in a hurry, and anyway, what could go wrong. . . .
willethompson
June 25th, 2007 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

#505 UL: Sorry, I get my power-mad Republicans confused… it’s like Pokemon or Yu-gi-oh, there are so many to remember…
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

#481 – HBGlord
Hey! I thought I invented Po-town! Unless your friend is well into his fifties – I have dibs.
I lived in Po-town for 20 years, Alexandria VA for almost 20 years (from the days of Jimmy Carter through Bill Clinton’s first term as Prez – talk about ch-ch-ch-changes!) then I actually moved back to Po-town right after my first husband died (Word of advice – Never EVER make such rash decisions while grieving!). My crazy family is still there but I couldn’t stand it. We found a lovely spot in the city of Poughkeepsie to buy a house–I had herds of deer in my yard, hawks and eagles perched on my fence and all kinds of wildlife that would turn Mark Trail green with envy. But the corruption in the city government nearly drove me insane so the new Mr. Trotz took me to New Orleans to get away from all of that. Then 75 days later the levees broke and here we are in Lafayette. (What a sad sack story. Are you taking notes, Batiuk?)
And my husband winces every time I say “Pass me the Tony Cha-Cheeries.”
You can take the girl out of Po-town…..
mav
June 25th, 2007 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

The corruption in the city government drive you insane so you moved to NEW ORLEANS? Remind me to avoid Po-town.
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

494 Ah Clem: the second one made me laugh out loud, though I think it’s pretty clearly the bum who is talking. But maybe something like that from him, like, “Dammit, I knew we shouldn’t have had that last shot of Drano.” Or whatever.

504 Mibbitmaker: Clap clap clap to the tenth!

We’re back from Ace. He still wants to poison them and I want to humanely trap them. We are united in our fervent desire to not have them around. I swear, I’d actually prefer Peter Lawford and Dean Martin.
Harry Paratestes
June 25th, 2007 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Well, everyone, I decided to enter a topical caption on the New Yorker cartoon caption contest # 104, the one with the two bums and the cop car. My caption was:

Here comes The Comics Curmudgeon on patrol again. Damn, I knew we shouldn’t have impounded his car when we were living in New York.

Keep an eye out, ’cause I used my real address but gave my present nom de snark. ;-)
StrangeRover
June 25th, 2007 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

MW- Drew:” Maybe it was a mistake to come to this party.”
Gee, Drew, ya THINK?
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

#508 – mav
I won’t just remind you to avoid Poughkeepsie, I will insist on it.

And, no matter what anyone says, I love New Orleans. I wasn’t born there, I didn’t live there long enough (yet) but it is and always will be the home of my heart.
Dean Booth
June 25th, 2007 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

How about this for the NYer:

Show them your red beret.

Pretty obscure.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

The Divine O’F
The U.K. is with you:
http://www.cavyrescue.co.uk/humane-rat-traps.shtml

You can send your critters to loving homes across the pond.
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

514 Trotz: Thanks. The British do have such a cheery way of looking at things.
fizzy logic
June 25th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

1,231 comments over the last two posts, people. Just think of the bandwidth we’re gobbling up while Josh is pleading for his car back…
stinky pete
June 25th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

513 DB. Quite. Are you referring to French paratroopers, the Guardian Angels, or Fred “Rerun” Berry from What’s Happening?
Mibbitmaker
June 25th, 2007 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

As I watch “Letterman” tonight, I will go “BOOOO!!!” when Alan Kalter announces, “From New York, the greatest city in the world…”

For Josh ‘n’ Amber.
Mountain Mama
June 25th, 2007 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

MW: Of course Drew is thinking it was a mistake to come to the party. Now that he is away from the meddling portals, he is free to think for himself again.

Now he knows what we all know: a Charterstone pool party is where fun goes to die a slow, horrible, painful, agonizing, yet boring, death.

It also doesn’t help that he’s being treated like a small boy. “Look how handsome he is! Just like his father!”

Off topic, Josh, good luck getting the car out of hock. Poteet, you have my deepest sympathies. I thought I was going to lose My Lord Chauncey last month and it was hell. Please know your furball is at peace and you’ll see your kitty again someday. We’re here for you.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

NYer: “God doesn’t care about masturbation,” you said. “It’s not a commandment,” you said…
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

Oooh! I think I got it! I just submitted this one:

Yeah, this is just like our Vail trip. The real thing never lives up to the brochure.
Islamorada Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

Josh works blue. The New Yorker doesn’t.

I’m sitting here thinking since Uncle Lumpy has the keys to the kingdom, he could stage a little coup d’etat, except Josh is probably going to be in a foul mood when he gets home, and he might just pull the plug on us.
Islamorada Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

S-B—Good one! Irony! The NYer LOVES irony, plus reference to expensive resort area.

I’m sitting here wondering why, in MW, everyone hangs around the Chatterstone pool, drinking sangria and eating tuna casserole dip, but no one actually ever swims?

Here’s one for you guys out there: Mary Worth in a bathing suit.
Daktari
June 25th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

#65 John C Freemont – I call him John Cougar Mellonhead. It seems to fit.
The Divine Oâ€™F
June 25th, 2007 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

Good one, Spider Brick!

Since not one person ever commented on mine, despite my posting it twice, I’m assuming it’s a stinkeroo. This cartoon just doesn’t call much to mind, for me.

But this has been such a godawful day, what with the rat pack and all, that it may be my mind at fault rather than the cartoon. Ah, well, as Margo probably said after stabbing someone in the back, “tomorrow is another day.”

And I will see y’all then. Hopefully, to add to a new thread that Josh will start having arrived home in triumph (and in the ransomed Gretchen).
Dean Booth
June 25th, 2007 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

#517. Guardian Angels. That’s a NY thing.

One more try:

Uh-oh, it’s the Coptics!

or just

Coptics!
F. Cecious Lee
June 25th, 2007 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

RE: 487, 496 and 500

Thanks HBG and Islomorda Girl

I was sure the book was by Richard Armour, but didn’t want to stick my neck out that far. I only read one book of his, but I read it often.

How about…Chinaware from China, Indiaware from India and Underwear from Australia.

I also remember the NatLampCo article about the famous dishes from different lands, the highlight being the recipe for the most famous English dish, Wedgewood.

I was also am a fan of Firesign Theater, but didn’t really discover them until I had spent 2 years being called Nick Danger and not understanding.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
June 25th, 2007 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

#524 Daktari — I actually don’t mind Mellencamp, but I do have a theory that certain male rock stars can serve as a metaphor for the spread of Anglophone culture across North America from east to west. Indiana’s John Mellencamp is like a watered-down version of New Jersey’s Bruce Springsteen, and Vancouver’s Bryan Adams is like a watered-down version of John Mellencamp.

(Make no mistake, though; I am proud to be from Victoria, BC, the city that gave us Nelly Furtado and two-time NBA MVP Steve Nash, who is three months my senior.)
Jamus The Bartender
June 25th, 2007 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

New Yorker: “Stole a bag of chips from the cafeteria at lunchtime…you?”
velouria73
June 25th, 2007 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

294 – Calico: Do you remember what the story was where Dee yelled at Mike? I have to admit I’m intrigued – I’d like to see Mike get a smackdown even if it was a long time ago.
CrabbyGenes
June 25th, 2007 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

to #368, the Divine O’F: You might be interested to know that on my computer (which has a Japanese system in addition to the English one) the slashes between the O and the F are appearing as yen signs—you know the Y with two lines through the stem. There’s some variation, though. Sometimes the space between the O and the F is an apostrophe (as it should be), other times it’s one yen sign, or two yen signs. So far, no slashes.

Thanks on the song parody!
Spotted HÃ˜rse
June 25th, 2007 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

#526 Dean Booth: The Angels aren’t just a New York phenomenon. Like Krispy Kreme, they expanded, then contracted. Why, we even had our own lil’ platoon of Guardian Angels here in Sacramento during the go-go eighties! I saw them on patrol once. They looked like kids enjoying good, clean paramilitary drag to me. Oh, and kinda like Mad Max.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Since I submitted my “Vail trip” caption, anyone is welcome to polish up any of my other ideas and submit them as their own.

Here’s another one: Police car. Okay? Look, just because we’re going to be here for eternity doesn’t mean I want to spend it playing “I Spy.”
John C Fremont
June 25th, 2007 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

# 524 Daktari – If there’s any justice in this world, he heard Mellonhead throughout junior high and high school… and if he’s still livin’ in that small town, he’ll probably never hear the end of it. Stupid Mellonhead.
beergoggles
June 25th, 2007 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

pluggers: today’s was really disturbing to me – is that a dog or another plugger who’s cleaning up after the kid?
to be a plugger, i have to have what seems to be a naked homeless bum ready to eat my kid’s rejected food off the floor?
Harold
June 25th, 2007 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

OK, is there anybody here with any pull with TV people? Let’s get Josh on Today, and Good Morning America, and whatever the third morning show is, and Letterman, and Regis, and everything else! Imagine the angle! “Josh Fruhlinger, who runs the wildly popular blogsite The Comics Curmudgeon, came to town to take part in last Friday’s ROFL comedy show – only to have his car towed for being parked in a badly marked No Parking Zone!” (Roll tape showing the obscured sign.) And now, in a twist that sends shivers down the spine of car owners everywhere, it turns out that due to an error on Josh’s Maryland registration, he can’t get his car out of impound!” (Josh comes on set and flops down next to the host, looking like he hasn’t slept in days.)

Anybody know somebody who knows somebody who can make this happen? Or who can make Josh’s problem somehow go away?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

Another: I swear, cops or no, if you sing “Heaven is a Place on Earth” again, I’ll throttle you.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

528: This may be the gayest thing I post until the new Archie comes up, but I want to thank you for giving me a reason for why NF namechecks Steve Nash out of the blue in that damn song that will never stop playing outside my window even though it’s almost a year old because I a) live in a gay neighbourhood b) in Canada.

I learn the most interesting things on this site.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
June 25th, 2007 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

Where are you, SecretMargo? I’m currently in Toronto but was in greater Vancouver from 1999 to 2006.
Harold
June 25th, 2007 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

New Yorker cartoon #104:
“You know, aside from all the cops, this is pretty much what I expected.”
Harold
June 25th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

Alternate:
“You know, if it weren’t for all the cops this place would be Heaven.”
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

John Cougar is a terrorist melonhead PUSSY!
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

SSB: Though I still enjoy the wine one, the one you sent in is pretty great. And how can I resist a Belinda Carlisle reference? You is a brick on fire today.

540: I also enjoyed this one a lot, Harold.

The Notorious S.Q.B: I overlook Le Village in scenic MontrÃ©al, bÃ©bÃ©. This is why I frequently use French in my posts, and why it is frequently wrong (also: I am a dirty Americain who has not lived here for very long).
Harold
June 25th, 2007 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

I just submitted version 1 (#540). Anyone else can submit version 2 (#541).
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

*HUFF!*
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
June 25th, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Well, I’m glad to see Montreal has caused you to include accent marks when you type, which is something that I’ve never bothered to do. Twenty-six letters is plenty!
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

Y’all realize we ought to buy stuff and things to help pay for all this bandwidth, since Josh is going to be paying out the nose to get the Popemobile out of NYC.
Islamorada Girl
June 25th, 2007 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

And Mellonhead is a pretentious ass. Cougar. WTF?

Shamus: NYer cartoon revised: Stole someone else’s lunch from the breakroom. . . and you?

Enh. I got nothin’.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

My other NYer caption entry I stole: “Hey Osama. Mecca’s that way…Get with the progam!”
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

I mostly moved here to give me alibi enough to buy this handy merchandise with a clear conscience. Well, and a job.

The “ThÃ©rÃ¨se marks” (â„¢….some funny fellow a few threads ago) are just icing on the gÃ¢teau.

But really, I know roughly the same amount French as your typical JP punque.
NotThatGuy
June 25th, 2007 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

I signed up for a t-shirt and mug and have clicked through all the ads but I am so worried it isn’t about a car and an MVA registration anymore, it’s about beaurocratic retribution and abusing visitors and will we ever see Josh again?
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

“Progam” is Southgatian for “program” and it’s also a term for “9CL fan”…or something.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

552: I just thought you were making an oblique version of a “get with the pogrom” joke.
Gojira
June 25th, 2007 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

A suggestion re: the NYer caption submissions: Could Dean Booth or someone with mad HTML skills set up a copy of the cartoon showing the CC-proposed captions one at a time when you click on them? i.e. Dean’s classic “The 101 Platitudes of Mary Worth.” I know it’s a bit of work, but it’s getting harder to keep track of which caption is for what. Just thinking out loud…
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

UndercoverMagro- Now that’s just Wrong! I mean that transcends Josh’s Carolla getting impounded by so many levels..HUFF HUFF….
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

Here’s a NYer caption that will require someone with more theological training than me to polish:

No, I don’t particularly want to hear your theory of ________ again.

In the blank would go some deep, obscure religious theory about the nature of the afterlife. Being a Godless heathen myself, I can’t think of one. If you can fill in the blank with something appropriate, feel free to steal and submit it as your own.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Goat!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

Does Josh get the revenue from the sale of M!B!S! merchandise? If so, I’ll order some.
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

556: As we near 1500 comments, I just figured somebody had to start mentioning Hitler. I mean, how else would we know we were on the internet?

(((btw: condolences on your recent loss, Big Red. I don’t always fully understand you, but I love ya, ya big lug. Plus, that stuff you slipped me during the wedding made the pain go down faster than a rejected Canadian Top Model contestant. Bisous)))
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

The ultimate NYer caption (or at least, my last one for the night):

Goatse? That was me.
Harry Paratestes
June 25th, 2007 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

Hooray! Josh “Snake” Fruhlinger has Escaped From New York! I wonder if he and Amber met the Duke of New York?
Josh
June 25th, 2007 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

#558 SSB — Yes, yes I do so share in those revenues, if you’re inclined to share your revenues…

Josh
stinky pete
June 25th, 2007 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

562. Yay! You beat the rap, Babyface. Welcome back.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

Hah! Is anyone else seeing the same Google ads at the top of the page that I am?

Thermal Citation Printing
Law Enforcement Thermal Ticket & Citation Printing

NY Traffic Ticket Info
NY Traffic Ticket Fines & Info. Resource For Anything DMV Related!

At least it bumped off those ads for “Josh & Jimbo.”
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

SecretMarge- Aw shucks and shuddup! No. I mean it! You Mudgies Have helped me over many potholes on this highway called life. And I thank you all from the bottom to the top of my comics-infected heart! Iâ™¥ you all!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

Now, now, Josh, it’s not “the car.” Refer to your beloved Corolla by its proper name: “Gretchen.”

Such is the power of the ‘Mudges that we can decide things about your life in your absence.
Uncle Lumpy
June 25th, 2007 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

I’m in for Gretchen’s bail. Who’s with me?
SecretMargo
June 25th, 2007 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

Noodlefoot! I hope you left New York still standing, or at least spared The Cock, my favourite … whazzat? They closed The Cock?

Well then, I hope you burned the whole goddamn place down.

Glad to have you back, big guy. We missed you.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

#561 Harry Paratestes- Let’s hope not. I heard that dude’s a Scientologist.
Dean Booth
June 25th, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

#147 True Fable, you inspired this version of s4th.
AhClem
June 25th, 2007 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

“OK, let’s go over this again: The GREEN bottle is wine, the BROWN bottle is drain cleaner. It really doesn’t matter at this point; just sayin’, is all.”

S.S. Brick — all of yours are great, especially #520 and 521.
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

#557 Red Greenback: Goat! Where?

#570 Dean Booth: Call me Martini, I am both shaken and stirred! You have a talent for bringing out the best in our snark, my friend.

#567 Uncle Lumpy: I plan to get a cranberry M!B!S! I’m a slave to fashion through thinly veiled profanity.
Trotzenbonnie
June 25th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

#556 SSB
Howzabout something with Wittgenstein, Bertrand Russell and/or Nietzsche in a Nihilists’ heaven?

Who said all of us are in the gutter etc. etc….

#567 – Uncle Lumpy
How much is car bail these days? I don’t want to be cheap.
Squid Countess
June 25th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

Poteet – So sorry about Toto. What a wonderful, saucy cat name. I bet your kitty loved it.

#110 True Fable – Is that not you, pictured in the foreground, the ~~horny~~ horned one? I like goats, too. I don’t see why we can’t spend our advanced years sitting on the porch watching the goats eat the lawn while we drink RC and listen to Wait, Wait and eat au gratin potatoes from a box in our ~~home~~ ~~commune~~ love shack for old curmudgeons.

#115 Mibbitmaker I’ve eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I’m smothered in onions! Thanks for the M*A*S*H memory. I won dinner at a local restaraunt once by calling in the names of Henry Blake’s kids in a local radio contest. Can any mudgeon do that without looking them up? (Or want to? Probably not.)

#141 S Spider Brick- Her condition has been upgraded to ‘meh.’ Bwaha x eleventy!
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

Hey! Just for the hella, How many you Mudges have those ltrailer hitch testicle dealies?
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

#574 Squid Countess: Baby, this sounds like the beginning of a beautiful ~~friendship~~ ~~relationship~~ ~~affair~~ fantasy more vivid than mere dreams can hold!

PLUS Moon Pies. Double deckers, of course. :)
True Fable
June 25th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

#574 AND you trumped me in M*A*S*H trivia. Fantastic!
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

Not to be confused with “O” guage, of course. Sorry. there’s not enough veal waitresses to make up for that!
Mel
June 25th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

#556
theory of “Bardo” maybe?
Gojira
June 25th, 2007 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

As a native New Yorker, sorry about the car tow experience. Hopefully, an extra day in Brooklyn wasn’t so bad.
Spotted HÃ˜rse
June 25th, 2007 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

#567 Uncle Lumpy: Hey, if donating is encouraged by Red’s Uncle Mom, it’s good enough for this bandwidth sucking tightwad!
Harold
June 25th, 2007 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

Josh, we need to know how you got this resolved! Or did you get this resolved?

I thought that maybe Josh’s comment #562 was posted six minutes before I posted a call to action to “Free Josh Fruhlinger’s car!” on my own site. But the I realized that Curmudgeon Standard Time is tied to the Central. rather than the Eastern, time zone, so my post was out the chute 56 minutes before Josh’s comment. So maybe one of my dozens of readers took action that resulted in Josh being free to post again! Until I know otherwise, I’ll just assume that.
Red Greenback
June 25th, 2007 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

Troofy: Yesindeedy I see you have been thru the third Bardo “Rubber doill” state…Accompany now ! Total Enlightinment
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 25th, 2007 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

New thread is up! The race is over! Final results:

This thread: 583
Last thread: 717
TOTAL: 1,300 even!

Congratulations to all Mudges! Now mosey on over to the COTW thread!
Frank Parsnip
June 25th, 2007 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

GT: What the heck kind of game announcing is that — he’s providing a re-cap of events spanning innings in the present tense. (“Grant Sanders leads off with a double, and Jimmy Hughes’ base hit brings him home — but Milford pitcher Mike Bouchard feels the pressure.”) In any kind of normal baseball game, there’s a good 5 minutes of chewing, spitting, self-groin-adjusting, bat-swinging, stepping-in-and-out-of-the-batter’s-box, etc. And that’s the pace per batter.

Within the space of one long sentence, he’s got two batters getting hits, presumably some undiscussed outs leading to a change of sides, and Bouchard struggling to pitch.

And as far as I can tell, his microphone/headset combo is not plugged into anything. That fact, plus his incredibly slow speech indicates that he is actually one of FOOB’s special-needs students.
alamo
June 25th, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

foob-burg — when i heard all that banging today i thought it was april still making money yet from sunday. desperate school boys in ontario.

don’t they ever let those kids out for summer break from school??? the snow’’s gonna start flying there pretty soon. la fete de st jean baptiste was the last day in quebec at one time. we just passed it.

hey, these are all remedial students aren’t they?? they could be in school 4 evah!!
Victor Von
June 26th, 2007 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

Aww! I missed you at MoCCA, Josh. It’s, you know, not a big shock, but still..

Poop. Poop, I say. Did you walk by the Dada Detective table? Were we loverly?

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