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Metapost: Blog-slackin’ COTW

Hey everybody! I am about to depart for a week off. But have no fear! Your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be stopping by to take care you in my absence, and I’ll be returned to your computer screens next weekend. But, I leave you with … this week’s COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Didn’t Margo use to be wedding planner before she was almost-married into being in charge of (owning?) a gallery? Why isn’t she in charge of this certain catastrophe? For god’s sake, Lu Ann, if something has to blow up in someone’s face, you got an explosions expert right there.” –Lord-z

And the runners up! Very hilarious!

“I’m a fan of the blue-collar uniform worn by the agent/secretary. It’s like he’s working at Big Earl’s Tires and Soccer.” –Chris

“And thus the sub-genre of socially aware furry redneck porn is born.” –A.E.F

“Take a lesson from me, kids! I can’t escape the cops, just like you can’t overcome your terminal illness. You can spend your few remaining hours watching TV, which is what I’ll be doing in jail. So long, you’ve been a great audience!” –ArchieNemesis

“What’s with the sky’s black rounded edges in Hi and Lois? Is this all taking place in Thirsty’s alcohol-induced masturbatory dream bubble? I guess we’ll find out for sure if his wife and Lois start making out while being sprayed down in booze.” –sporknpork

“Hmm, all the caveman characters are already long-haired and unshaven, so how to communicate visually that this one’s a filthy stinking doper? Of course! We’ll slap a Volkswagen hood ornament on his chest, and give him some of those ‘sunned-glasses’ the kids are always wearing! Nailed it.” –Doctor Handsome

“You know, all I really want out of this storyline is one simple week of Mary Worth versus the Soccer Hooligans. Is that so much to ask?” –commodorejohn

“The phrase ‘medically possible’ rings false when coming from Li’l Billy. It’s the kind of thing that I might have said when I was seven or eight, just to show that I could. Am I saying that I was smarter as a kid that Billy is? Yes, I am saying that.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I dunno, guys. It looks like ‘New York Blasés’ to me. This is Mary Worth, after all.” –Effluvius Erratus

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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33 responses to “Metapost: Blog-slackin’ COTW”

  1. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 7th, 2011 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    Funny stuff, funny st—

    He’s gone?

    Yayy! Uncle Lumpy’s in charge again! Wait, I brought my party records! I just have to bring them in from the car.

  2. Anonymous
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    BB – The dialog in both panels works fine if you just replace the word “racquet” with “strap-on”.

  3. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy? bourbon babe? squirrel?

    Am I being set up?

    I was just kidding! I like Josh the best!! Uncle Lumpy’s okay too! I like everybody!

  4. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Anonymous is here too. Thank heaven for a familiar face!

    Guess I got a little… well, never mind.

  5. Anonymous
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    MW – Just hope the bellhop doesn’t go to room 88 and stumble in on the little kids having a naked tea party.

  6. Peanut Gallery
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#4): Yes, it is a familiar face. He looks just like Guy Fawkes.

  7. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    Why thank you, Josh. I can truly say that I’m humbled to be in this bright and funny company. *clinks champagne flute*

  8. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#5): Naked tea party? There’s a great Glenn Beck joke there but I can’t quite find it.

  9. Master Softheart
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    Comments I missed and was glad to catch among the CotW: AEF and commodorejohn.

    Uncle Lumpy’s interludes are a fun change from Josh’s humor style – I look forward as always to your regency, sir.

  10. Sequitur
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    Hey! Someone say congrats to Lord-z and all the funny floaters!

    I guess I just did. Hooray!

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#1): It’s great you brought the party records but I think someone is using your turntable to throw a pot.

    What a coincidence. Mrs. Sequitur and I are off tomorrow morning for a week-long vacation as well. So, if I don’t happen to drop in here, ya’ll have a snarkin’ good funny comic week!

  11. Comcis Fan
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to the winners!

    As for me, I really have to decouple my sense of self-esteem from this site’s COTW, unless I actually ever place again. I knew I was too excited about it the few times I did, and there’s an unhealthy flip side to that! Maybe I should talk to Mary about it.

  12. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 7th, 2011 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#10): That’s quite a coincidence. I was bringing all my old pot records!

    So. A whole non Sequitur week. Well, enjoy!

    @Comcis Fan (#11): Maybe we could form a support group. I liked it when there were, like, four alternate floats going on, too. I take some consolation in the fact that over at another site — a sort of single-interest one for the strip we don’t discuss — with like twelve members — one of my comments is in a sort of spotlight. I go stare at it sometimes while eating fistfuls of bonbons.

    Yeah. Support group. That’s the thing.

  13. Comcis Fan
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#12): I’m in, [OM] Muffaroo! And for what it’s worth, you just made me laugh. You’ve also made me wonder what strip we don’t discuss.

  14. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#13): Super! I think this could work.

    Only if I happen to land on the float again, I may accidentally blurt out some, well, kinda hurtful things as I run to try and get a spot near the front, but don’t worry. I’ll apologize all over the place a week later. Anyway, it probably won’t happen. I mean, cause who needs the stupid float anyway, right? RIGHT? I’m having a great time right here in the gutter. I mean, the street. THE SIDEWALK.

  15. Poteet
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    Huzzahs for Lord-z and the gratifyingly-amusing runners-up!

  16. Poteet
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#11): @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#12): Lemme in, please. I was just muttering to myself about how as long as the float is full of funny, it doesn’t matter at all if I’m ever up there again, not at all, not in the least. I was neither convincing nor convinced.

  17. Comcis Fan
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#14): If that comment contained a coded message about which strip we don’t discuss, I missed it! I actually thought maybe it did refer to some obscure strip I don’t know about and tried to google it, to no avail.

  18. Comcis Fan
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#16): OK, Poteet, three definitely qualifies as a support group. How do we start? “I am Comcis Curmudgeon and it’s been I don’t know how many months since I made the float — and I try to feel OK about it.”

  19. Comcis Fan
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    I meant Comcis Fan! Geez!

  20. ElkMeadow
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    Congrats float riders!


    It’s Uncle Lumpy time! Here come the banners! (Please have a Prince Valiant one again!)

  21. ElkMeadow
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    Oh, and have a nice time on your week off, Josh. We’ll be good. Really.

  22. ElkMeadow
    October 8th, 2011 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    Great. So we get a Saturday strip of Mary reading a book while she thinks about Gina and Bobby, and now we have to wait for find out why Bobby was standing at the front desk. Wonderful.

  23. Chris
    October 8th, 2011 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    That was, I think, my first comment ever, and it made COTW… ONE FOR ONE, BABY!

  24. Droopy Says
    October 8th, 2011 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Can we please get to the part where they humiliate Spiderman? Incidentally, yesterday Flathead demanded that a cop murder Spiderman. It was not so long ago that Flathead told the Big Boss he opposed killing Spiderman. It’s good to know that this strip never misses a chance to violate its continuity.

    EffYou Wankerbeat: With a great joke like that–Monotony’s In box is a physical, real world In box!–the dumb kid is reduced to a whimpering basket case. The humor is a stellar example of Batiuk’s talent!

    Mock Trail: Kelly Welly planned to wear that huge pack while running after a sex-crazed dog? Yeah, that makes perfectly deranged sense.

    Pluggers: Now that Pluggers face the threat of voting for a Mormon presidential candidate, Catholics don’t look so bad.

    Gasoline Alley: Patriotism is the first refuge of a legacy strip that has run out of ideas.

    Phantom: What did I think of the match? It fizzled.

  25. Uncle Lumpy
    October 8th, 2011 at 1:08 am [Reply]


  26. Poteet
    October 8th, 2011 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#18): “My name is Poteet Curmudgeon and I really, really miss the thrill of floathood.” *sniff* No, that’s not right. “My name is Poteet Curmudgeon and it’s been many months since I was on the float and I will try to accept that more graciously than I am doing now. Gimme a Scotch.”

  27. Poteet
    October 8th, 2011 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#25): Mememememe!

  28. Poteet
    October 8th, 2011 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    10/8 MW — What the hell is she reading, THE SATANIC BIBLE?

  29. Uncle Lumpy
    October 8th, 2011 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#20):

    Please have a Prince Valiant one again!

    I count three.

  30. Cow
    October 8th, 2011 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    I’m a cow. Milk me.

  31. Esther Blodgett
    October 8th, 2011 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    *skims COTW and float-riders*
    *pastes on smile and congratulates all (pfff, not what I would have picked, grumble, get off my lawn you kids…)*
    *sees Josh is going on vacation again, damn, how much do we pay him?*
    *scratches, yawns, goes back to bed*

  32. AeroSquid
    October 8th, 2011 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    BB: That’s right Beetle. While you were playing ‘squash’ with Sarge, Bux was having unprotected sex with your barracks mates. Except Julian.
    She only has the strength to feed you a bowel of nondescript brown mush and give you a distracted HJ while wearing an oven glove..

    BCE: Facebook reference. Heh. Timely AND relevant.

    ‘Shaft: Is it over yet ? Good. We now return to confused old man running over kids with a school bus !

    Curtis: I really hated sharing a bed with my older brother. He usually smelled like pot, beer and beat-down from my Dad after he came home after curfew.
    I suspect Barry will enjoy that in a few years, too.

    DtM: “….and it makes it hard to get a bead on him with my Korean War ‘souvenir’.

    Doonsbury: Gay=$$$$$ ! You go, girl !

    FC: WTF ! Jeffy has shrunk down to the size of a garden gnome…..that throws rocks. I’m officially creeped out.

    Lockhorns: I think I saw that very room in a porno that involved creamed corn and plastic sheeting.

    Luann: “…or for $5000; a life-like RealDoll ™ with life-like non-fertile vinyl uterus.”

    PBS: Tomorrow: Ms. Period.

    Chix w/Dix: This has no effect on my cats.

  33. AeroSquid
    October 8th, 2011 at 6:48 am [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#32): Dammit ! Missed the transition !

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