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Metapost: In memoriam COTW

A sad note here before we launch into this week’s top comments: Eduardo Barreto, who took over the Judge Parker art duties from original artist Harold LeDoux, has passed away. His tenure at Judge Parker was cut short when he contracted meningitis a few years ago, and (unconfirmed) word is that his death was from complications from that disease. He had a fairly extensive comic book background, but to me he’ll always be the man who transformed Judge Parker from an odd-looking relic into a strip about hilarious sexy people doing hilariously boring things — and he got the better end of that team-up. Thanks, Eduardo.

And now, your comment of the week!

“A rolodex? Fancy elitist animal monsters! In my day we just scrawled the names of friends into the wall behind our letter-writin’ desks.” –bunivasal

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Dick Tracy puts a cunning plan into motion to learn the identity of his assailent. He waits until some bullets whistle past, then compares the grouping against his database of ‘Accuracy of Malformed Villain Attempts to Kill Dick Tracy’ (AMVAKDT). ‘Amateur’, he mutters, as he crafts a crude but gruesome death trap out of studio lights and gaffer tape.” –Lesser Whark

“If you’re like me — and I hope you’re not — you probably read that last panel as foreshadowing that Aunt May’s dessert would cause a gastrointestinal calamity to such a degree as could only be labeled ‘THUNDER OVER ASGARD!’” –Chareth Cutestory

“Pack of vicious eeevil wolves? Thousand-pound bear on the defensive? Mark Trail demands more carnage! Send in the housepets!” –Nate

“WTF is going on with Mary’s left hand in panel 2? Is she supposed to be whispering behind her hand? (If so, her hand is in the wrong place.) Is she pantomiming ‘phone’ because Bree’s not very bright? (If so, her hand is in the wrong place.) Is she trying to keep her brain from exploding and squirting out her ear? In that case, her hand might be in the right place.” –wossname

“The inter-species marriages have another impact on plugger mortality rates: diet. This can take several forms. Normally the carnivore-spouse attacks the herbivore spouse, eats her and then–because there is no one around to do the Heimlich maneuver–chokes to death on her bones. Marriages between competing species of herbivores are less dramatic in their lethality, but when it comes down to a grass versus grain diet, or leaves versus roots, usually one spouse crowds out the other out of the ecosystem, resulting in a slow death from starvation. Of course, when one spouse is an egg-layer death genarlly comes by spatula or skillet after the husband asks the wife to cook more of her own eggs. Pluggers do not believe in any form of birth control.” –Droopy Says

RMMD: “You go take care of Kelly! I’ll continue to commit felony assault!” –Cloudbuster

“Oh, Dolly. It’s PJ. Of course you need to tell him why. You’ve spent, what, four decades telling PJ why. ‘Why does Mommy cry some afternoons and drink cooking sherry?’ and ‘Why does Daddy sometimes look longingly over the fourth wall at Ted Forth?’ and ‘Why do I keep hitting myself?’ are probably a representative sample of all the whys Dolly has had to tell PJ over the years.” –Lily Sincere

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Wussie: In praise of spineless men: I don’t mean to be a bother, but would you mind if I mentioned Wussie: In Praise of Spineless Men, the new essay collection from Josh Muggins? Author of How to Pick Up Japanese Chicks and Doom Your Immortal Soul? Ring any bells? No? Well, if you change your mind, it’s at Amazon, B&N, and iTunes. Sorry to interrupt. Really.

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70 responses to “Metapost: In memoriam COTW”

  1. Calico
    December 16th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    How sad – RIP, Mr. Barreto. Thank you for your wonderful artistry.

  2. Droopy Says
    December 16th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    I made the float? Holy cow man-bear! (flings chocolate chip cookies)

  3. sporknpork
    December 16th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Did you put this up early on accident? Missing links.

    Also, RIP Eduardo Barreto.

  4. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 16th, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to the COTWers. I’m not sure if this is Lily Sincere’s first ride on the float, but I’d been hoping her comment would make it.

    Back with my own belated snark in a moment.

  5. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 16th, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    BC: Ants like to have filthy group sex with grasshoppers. All the more reason to avoid picnics, if you ask me.

    C-Shaft: “An arm and a leg”? You disappoint me, Ed. Surely you could have said that the tree costs “a gnome and a lake.”

    MT: After her mishap with Honey and the wolves, Kelly Welly is visibly shaken relieved clip-arty.

    GT: If Mimi’s team continues to choke, she may find her job threatened by the president of the Ladies’ Booster Club. No, that has nothing to do with brassieres.

    9CL: Amos succumbs to the venom. Nice to see that the Joker still has all his old moves.

    S-M: If Thor had any kind of bullshit detector, Loki’s hand-on-heart gesture would be a red flag with capital RED. In fact it wouldn’t hurt to grab that hand and go “Why art thou hitting thyself? The god of thunder demands that thou stop hitting thyself!”

    Phantom: “He was on the way to Poontang Island. Hot damn, why don’t you guys ever send me there?”

    A3G: “Oh, why can’t all the men in your past have been nameless and interchangeable, instead of just one of those things?”

  6. Chareth Cutestory
    December 16th, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Great job everyone! And a special thanks to @ArchieNemesis for planting the seed of a COTW thought in Josh’s mind!

  7. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 16th, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (y62):

    9CL: If it turns out the Joker is picking off the characters one by one, I will take back everything bad I said about this strip.

    As you can see above, I had the same thought. If Thorax can be the second-to-last victim and fall on top of the last victim (Edda presumably) thereby smothering them, all the funnier.

  8. Farley's Revenge
    December 16th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    Woo-hoo! Congratulations to bunivasal and all the float-riders!

    *sigh*Posted this in a thread that is pining for the fjords:

    @commodorejohn (#YYT318): I tended to wear dark running shoes when I went into the various towns. At first glance, they looked just like everyone’s black clunky shoes and allowed me to be able to walk comfortably. Trust me, that’s a plus if you’re not used to walking on cobblestones.

    Then there’s the whole “You can tell an American lives there because Americans never wash their windows” thing. Seriously. I won’t say ALL Europeans are OCD about their windows but the Dutch and Germans in our various neighborhoods kept those things sparkling(All the better to peer into as they walked by. Yes, they did. I had curtains up). I hired someone to come clean our windows every six weeks because no way in hell was I climbing an extension ladder up 3 floors to get the windows on the top floor.

    Really, it’s all about blending in so you don’t stand out and risk becoming a target.

  9. Northernlurker
    December 16th, 2011 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    My fondest Baretto memory was the story arc about some vineyard owned by a woman with an aversion to bras and a lawyer named Rusty, who had spectacular ta tas and had a too-tight black dress.
    Good mammaries.

  10. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#y132): I once listened to a Really Really Stupid oldtime radio show about a man who could see 24 hours into the future. It was explained that he had this power because he was born on a ship the instant it was crossing the international date line. So, what super powers has your birth situation caused you to manifest?
    I can think of the perfect comeback 24 hours later.

    Also, passive-aggressive thanks to all the floaters for the laughs. No, really, I mean it. Seriously.

  11. Baka Gaijin
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Farley’s Revenge (#8): Good answer. Don’t stand out in the crowd. Dressing like Sean “Puffy” Combs is going to peg you as a clueless American ripe for the pick-pocketing, a Russian nouveau-riche ripe for the pick-pocketing, or Sean “Puffy” Combs.

    Also congrats to the small COTW float this week. I guess the recession has finally hit the CC.

  12. Little Guy
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    I’ve waxed poetically about M. Baretto yesterthread.

    Dixie Julep, my friends. That is all.

  13. Baka Gaijin
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#10): Hey, you had a birthday this week. Birthday cake or COTW? Hm. I’d take the cake. I think I will. Maybe not.

    “I don’t think that I can take it
    cause it took so long to bake it
    And I’ll never have that recipe again
    Oh, no!”

  14. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#13): *calls in the artillery*

  15. Liam
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Does this mean that there won’t be anymore scantily clad women in Judge Parker?

  16. Baka Gaijin
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#YY67): No worries about Speed Bump‘s clowniness. I don’t read it. Clowns pop up into without warning.

    @Shrug (#YY134): That. Was. Priceless.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#14): What, you don’t like MacArthur Park? How about “Xanadu, Xaaaaanaduuuu, XAAAAAAAAANNAAAAAAAAAAAHHDOOOOOOOOO!”

  17. Baka Gaijin
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    This is a little off topic but tangentially related to comics. Ces Marciuliano’s recent posting on Smosh is instructive and amusing without being preachy and, surprisingly, has no reference to The Star Wars Christmas Special.

  18. stopdropreload
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know if its been linked to already, but there was a really nice tribute to Barreto on Comics Alliance that featured a lot of his comic book work (and mammaries), including a hilarious picture of Starfire that features the super saiyan version of Abbey’s mullet.

  19. gnome de blog
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    A particularly hysterical batch of floaters this week. Congrats all.

    If there is a heaven, Eduardo Baretto is spending eternity in the company of Dixie Julep, Dread Detective Roberts (she’s the one shooting at Dixie), Sociology Girl, Cedric the Butler’s wife and grown-up Neddy Spencer. And Busty Duncan.

  20. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @stopdropreload (#18): yeah, Starfire had Big Hair back then. Big other things that Baretto liked to draw as well. . . .

  21. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 16th, 2011 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#17): I just read on Wikipedia regarding the Holiday Special and Sally Forth that Ted has a still-in-package Boba Fett that he’s using as his retirement fund.

    All things considered, and all snark aside, I wish I had had the foresight to think of this — especially since the original Boba Fett action figure (with rocket-launching backpack) were recalled after too many kids swallowed or put eyes out with the rocket. My mother made me glue mine together so it wouldn’t shoot, and I know a collector who’d sell his only kid, his ex-wife, and his Army pension to get ahold of a working one still-in-package.

  22. bats :[
    December 16th, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    D’oh. A mashup is worth a thousand words. It would be nearly impossible to recreate the magic of Eduardo. At least there are some new, real cartoonists in the wings…

  23. gnome de blog
    December 16th, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Apeman (#y125):
    I was actually trying to be facetious about the Milfs playing a national schedule, not implying that anyone in Kansas (except maybe Wyandotte) with similar ambition.

    As for Milford being in Kansas, there have been similar hints locating it in Michigan, New York, Connecticut and possibly elsewhere. I think they authors are just highlighting cool high school nicknames, and more power to them for that.

    After all, who wouldn’t want to be a Newton Railer? It’s certainly better than being a Beaverton Beaver, especially if you’re a girl.

  24. Fashion Police
    December 16th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    We are deeply distressed that Mr. Eduardo Baretto has gone to his heavenly reward. No one in recent comics history has rendered clothing – especially female clothing – quite so devastatingly well. Sadly, the ladies from Apartment 3-G will never know what they missed.

  25. gnome de blog
    December 16th, 2011 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Considering how far they traveled, a 46-32 loss to the Newton Railers shouldn’t be anything for the Lady Mudlarks to hang their head about, as this preview from indicates:

    [Coach Randy]Jordan didn’t hesitate to compare this year’s team to his Class 5A title team in 2006 to an extent.

    “Truthfully, this is the most athletic, skilled team we’ve had since 2006,” Jordan said. “But we’re just not as deep. That year we could go eight or nine deep and not lose anything.”

    — Tony Adame

  26. Joe Blevins
    December 16th, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

  27. benro
    December 16th, 2011 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#23): I recall a strip a few years ago where there was some reference to the Bridgeport Bluefish minor league baseball team, so I think it’s been established that Milford is in Connecticut.

  28. Peanut Gallery
    December 16th, 2011 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#22): *wild applauz*

  29. Mr. O'Malley
    December 16th, 2011 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#23): There was once a record called “High School USA” that was based on the concept that kids would buy a record if it mentioned their high school. Something like 25 different versions of the song were recorded for the 25 largest markets. The song itself basically consisted of chanting the names of area high schools over a generic rock’n’roll background, with occasional choruses of “High School USA!”. I believe it succeeded to the extent of becoming a medium sized hit.

    Perhaps GT is following a similar tack in trying to improve its youth readership by including the names of various real teams around the country.

  30. ElkMeadow
    December 16th, 2011 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#16):

    Wait. Xanadu had clowns in it. How else to explain that closing musical number? Especially the would-be mimes?

  31. Poteet
    December 16th, 2011 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    A very funny week! Congratulations to bunivasal and the other funny Mudges on the float.

  32. Poteet
    December 16th, 2011 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    RIP, Eduardo Baretto, and thank you.

  33. Lily Sincere
    December 16th, 2011 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#4):

    Thanks! I’ve made the float a couple of times in the last few weeks; always a thrill, although today it is tempered with sadness over the death of Mr. Barreto.

  34. Liam
    December 16th, 2011 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Can either the writer for Mary Worth or Mark Trail be the next to die?

  35. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 16th, 2011 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#34): look at the bright side. as long as Giella is alive and working, there’s no way that Donna Lewis will be taking over the artwork on Mary Worth.

  36. commodorejohn
    December 16th, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#35): Actually, that sounds…strangely appropriate. I mean, think about it: storylines like “Gina had a childhood crush that didn’t work out and eventually got around to emailing him years later” followed by “Mary’s purse gets stolen, so she and Tobey discuss lists endlessly for weeks” and now “a child has been kidnapped, but obviously it’s much more relevant and interesting to focus on what Mary Worth feels when she thinks about the poster she saw about it?” What could be a better match for the endless over-wording of the utterly banal than having all the dialogue and thought balloons attached to misshapen MS Paint blob-things?

  37. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 16th, 2011 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    I’d suggest that someone experiment with switching dialog balloons between the two to get an idea how it would work, but the mere thought of RA’s visuals causes me gastrointestinal distress.

  38. ElkMeadow
    December 16th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations, floaters!

    Mary, the poor waitress is going to end up shooing the guy and girl out of the diner if you don’t make the call yourself. If you hadn’t (literally) dragged the waitress in this, and made the call on your own, then bad dude and kidnapped girl would still be sitting there, waiting for their hamburgers when the police drove up. Now Ginger is going to be so annoyed she’s going to be blabbing about it to everyone one in the joint, and will spill coffee on the table, and lose out on her tips.

  39. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 16th, 2011 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    @Lily Sincere (#33): I know what you mean. Señor Barreto was a big part of our lives here, and a fine artist.

  40. Jamus The Bartender
    December 16th, 2011 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: Yeah, you’d better do as Lord Odin says, Thor. See, whenever your comic book counterpart disobeys HIS father, all kinds of bad things go down, not the least of which was….um…Nazi Robots wrecking the hell out of Avengers Tower and Washington DC…..Hulk, Thing and every other strong guy at Marvel getting a big Thor hammer to make them even stronger and crazier. Also, Tony Stark got hammer drunk. And this went on for seven months. I’m not making up a word of it, it was the latest Marvel crossover called Fear Itself. It was not very good. Of course, this being the comic strip version of the MU, most likely the worst that can happen is Lord Odin takes away your television set.

  41. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 16th, 2011 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to this week’s winners — and condolences to the families of Eduardo Barreto and Joe Simon.

    @Red Greenback (#y121):

    WARNING: The following is OT…

    I’m assuming from your moniker that you’re a fan of the incomparable Red Green. Have you heard about RG’s “Wit & Wisdom Tour” in 2012? I’m not sure of the exact itinerary, but he’s bringing his one-man show to Tampa, Florida on April 5. You can find more info at:

  42. Lily Sincere
    December 16th, 2011 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#5):
    BC: What’s really disturbing is that ants like to have groups sex with grasshoppers, but how do grasshoppers feel about it? And in this particular scenario, the ants outbumber the grasshopper. Let’s hope the interspecies sexual hijinx are safe, sane and consensual.
    (Personally, I got a whole non-sexual something-akin-to-cow-tipping vibe off what the ants were doing, which may well be what the strip intended. Which would be something of a first for Recent “B.C.”: the joke, however dull, actually approached something approaching harmony between authorial intent and audience reception. That’s not gonna happen again any time soon.)

  43. commodorejohn
    December 16th, 2011 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#41): Hey, Duluth is on the schedule! Must make a note of that…

  44. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 16th, 2011 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#43): Duluth?

    You can’t handle Duluth!!!

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 16th, 2011 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    (sorry, it seemed funny at the moment. bourbon was involved. just sayin’.)

  46. Lily Sincere
    December 17th, 2011 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#45):

    I laughed, sans bourbon. Just sayin’.

  47. Lily Sincere
    December 17th, 2011 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#41):
    OT? I guess. Glad I now have this information? You betchya. Thanks!

  48. Mibbitmaker
    December 17th, 2011 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Well, since Jimmy Fallon is over doing SNL (and almost missing Letterman tweets), I’ll take it upon myself to issue this week’s

    THANK YOU NOTES (unofficially, of course)

    (TYN music)

    Thank you… Brooke McEldowney’s Glibporn DVD commentary, for reminding us what a dick he is while his strips aren’t too bad lately. It’s quite the admixture.

    Thank you… Mary Worth’s Missing Child Poster, for keeping the plight of kidnapped kids surreal and creepy… like the kidnapped child herself is stalking a confused old lady.

    Thank you… Lisa’s video, for being almost as creepy a stalker as Mary Worth’s Missing Child Poster. Aldo would’ve been proud!

    Thank you… Gil Thorp, for bringing back that stereotypically gay character. It’s rare that a comic strip about sporty losers could be so FAAAAABULOUUUUUUS!

    Thank you… DT’s Putty Puss, for being a gloppy one-man Disco Dance Party. But… just watch those ’80s diversions, okay?

    (sudden heavenly music)
    (looking skyward)
    (taken aback) Wow. Will you look at that cloud… it’s beautiful. Like a great artist designed it…. sculpted out of skill… and love. (suddenly giddy) Heh, heh….. Boobies!


    (TYN music again)
    Thank you… Popeye’s ironic movie being made. It’s the only comic strip to be directed and written by Alan Smithee.

    Thank you… pack of villainous wolves, for building up for adventure… then slacking off embarrassingly to a tepid conclusion. Just like most Mark Trail storylines. Unless Mark punches someone, when it’s in reverse.

    This is the last Thank You Note…. (aaaawwww!)

    Thank you… Eduardo Barreto. No joke here, just… thank you.

    That’s fake Thank You Notes, you guys! Back with more! Comics! Curmudgeon!

  49. Sequitur
    December 17th, 2011 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#45): Scotch. Scotch made that funny.

  50. Droopy Says
    December 17th, 2011 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Loki’s plan succeeds at last, giving him command of both the couch and the remote. Peter Parker never scored so good!

    Mock Trail: “I haven’t been there since he died!” Honey exclaims. We believe you, Honey Bear. You could only eat the old boy once, so what’s the point in returning?

    RM, MD: It’s a good thing the smelling salts worked, because our medical genius is fresh out of leeches.

    Pluggers: So what does a Plugger do if he works as a fishing guide?

    Family Circus: So Bil Keane was a tree-hugger? With all the smoggers he put in the strip, who would have guessed?

  51. ElkMeadow
    December 17th, 2011 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    MW For cryin’ out loud, Mary, you don’t need the waitress’s permission to call the police! What you’re doing now is assaulting a waitress, and once you drag her out of the diner, well, that’s kidnapping. Ironic, isn’t it?

    RMMD Wow, smelling salts will cure a drug allergy or an overdose. Who knew? Now Kelly’s going to have a Nightingale Syndrome crush on Rex.

    Eduardo Barreto Thanks for the great work you did on Teen Titans. I enjoyed the comics very much.

    (sudden heavenly music)
    (looking skyward)
    (taken aback) Wow. Will you look at that cloud… it’s beautiful. Like a great artist designed it…. sculpted out of skill… and love. (suddenly giddy) Heh, heh….. Boobies!

    Great tribute to Barreto, Mibbitmaker!

    Good night, all!

  52. ElkMeadow
    December 17th, 2011 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#13):

    There will be another song for me,
    For I will sing it.
    There will be another dream for me,
    Someone will bring it.

  53. Baka Gaijin
    December 17th, 2011 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#30): XanadoooooWHAT???

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#44): I laughed too and no bourbon involved. Just jealousy. He’s not coming around here.

    @ElkMeadow (#52): Just be sure not to drink warm wine or look at the sun, unless you’re at a German Christkindlmarkt.

  54. Comcis Fan
    December 17th, 2011 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    Congrats, winners!

    FW: So these people have to hold on to their VCR, save a shelf in their living room for Lisa’s birthday videos to Darin, and spend every one of his birthdays listening to her messages? No wonder his adoptive mom appears to be grinding her jaw.

  55. Poteet
    December 17th, 2011 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#52): And after all the loves of my life
    After all the loves of my life
    I’ll be thinking of you
    And wondering whyyy… *hic*

  56. Nil Zed
    December 17th, 2011 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    @Farley’s Revenge (#8): Yes, they are obsessed with clean windows! When we lived in England, being required to have the exterior of the windows washed was part of our leases. In the first house, we had someone wash them when we moved out. In the second house, we were startled at breakfast a week or so after moving by a work crew that had come through the garden gate to begin washing the windows at the back! The previous tenants had a monthly service and though the house had been empty some months, the window washers hadn’t stopped washing. Why, yes, they did try to hit us up for the several unpaid visits. Why no, we didn’t pay. We did agree to pay in future though.

  57. Cal
    December 17th, 2011 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    FW: What I want to know is, who are all those cute teenage basketball chicks in the photo Darrin keeps lovingly perched atop his ever-growing collection of creepy dead-biological-mother videos? Sheesh!

    MW: Fer cryin’ out loud, Mary. Just go to an f***ing pay phone and dial 911. It’s free. And you don’t have to drag a screaming waitress out by the arm to do it. (What do you want to bet it really isn’t the kidnapper and it’s just Mary getting paranoid? Maybe this is all part of the “Mary is losing her faculties” story arc…)

    A3G: Vindication! Paul is showing exactly why you should never start a sentence with “I assume…” and Luann is finally showing a little spine — using the past tense with the word “know”. “You never knew me at all, Paul. Not in the literal sense or the biblical sense. And you never will.”

  58. Baka Gaijin
    December 17th, 2011 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    If there ever was a time for a collective “Well, DUH!” from the Comic Curmudgeon Collective, that time is now, Saturday, December 17, 2011. I’m surprised Mr. Linski wasn’t blinded by the brilliant flash of the obvious in today’s Apartment 3-G.

  59. Baka Gaijin
    December 17th, 2011 at 4:35 am [Reply]

    Putty Puss has turned into Peter Griffin.

    Oh my. Is Honey Bear speaking again or did Elrod forget to turn off the “align to right margin” when placing that speech bubble?

    Damnit Mary, you were going to convince Bree with your Left Fist o’Meddle™. Why did you not follow through in the second panel?

  60. The Ridger
    December 17th, 2011 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: “I assume you’re divorced because my father can’t run a proper background check and was lucky to discover that your name wasn’t always Powers. Finding records of a death, divorce, or children is far beyond his capabilities, much as he likes rooting around in other peoples’ lives.”

  61. Baka Gaijin
    December 17th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#60): Daddy Dearest obviously did not graduate from the Official Mary Worth School of Nosiness™ with an MBA (Massive Buttinski Administration).

  62. Écureuil Écumant
    December 17th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#48) re Barreto:

    (sudden heavenly music)
    (looking skyward)
    (taken aback) Wow. Will you look at that cloud… it’s beautiful. Like a great artist designed it…. sculpted out of skill… and love. (suddenly giddy) Heh, heh….. Boobies!

    Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and the knockers shall be opened unto you…

  63. The Ridger
    December 17th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    RMMD: WTF? The smelling salts worked??? This strip has now officially lost it.

  64. Baka Gaijin
    December 17th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#63): They’re really really good smelling salts.

  65. The Ridger
    December 17th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    JP: “So, who was this guy sent her to watch… you, or April>

    Oh, the naivete. Who says it can’t have been both? It wouldn’t have been all that hard, the amount of time they spend together. Saudis are a thrifty folk, never using two diplomat-spies where one will do.

  66. The Ridger
    December 17th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]

  67. The Ridger
    December 17th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    MW: And what exactly is Mary’s problem, anyway? Won’t the police take her calls anymore?

  68. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    December 17th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Sad news about Eduardo Barreto. I often thought of him ever since his untimely departure from Judge Parker, and since I hadn’t heard anything at all I assumed he was still ill. I’m most displeased that my assumption was correct. It’s not that I dislike Judge Parker nowadays, but Barreto’s tenure was the most fun, and I came to really love the strip’s kitschy abandon. RIP Eduardo Barreto.

  69. Just some guy
    December 18th, 2011 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    That sucks about Eduardo Barreto.
    I was really liking his work on Judge Parker when he had to stop.

  70. Jeff
    December 18th, 2011 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    RIP Eduardo Barreto.

    I will enjoy your last few remaining Phantom Sunday strips, until they are no more.

    THANK YOU, mi Amigo!

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