Hello all! It being the first of the month, it is my day to remind you that, if you enjoy using and/or following jokesters on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or Google+, why, you can follow me on any of those services, merely by clicking the appropriate links previously in this sentece! I post mostly the same things to all of these sites (links to updates to this blog, links to things I write elsewhere, announcements about projects, links to things I think are funny, dumb jokes) so probably just pick the one you like best. Or pick none at all! The choice is yours.
And now, your anti-social comment of the week!
“In the time it’s taking Sam and Avery to blather about getting ready for a fly-fishing trip, entire species of fish have evolved, risen to dominate their ecosystems, and died out again. Meanwhile, Sophie’s learned two guitar chords and Abbey has found a new way to jut.” –Amy Stephenson
And your runners up! Very funny!
“‘Wilbur tries to comfort Dawn.’ That is the saddest thing I’ve ever read.” –lorne
“After a week or so of strips listing all the specs of Sam’s new fishing rod, I fully expect to learn secondhand that a recurring character has died off-panel in the meantime. Details will be sketchy at best.” –Doctor Handsome
“At this point (yes, now) I’m really wondering who the demographic for Judge Parker is, outside of Los Mudges. I get it that it’s supposed to be escapist richy-rich fantasy, but really, it’s like having Dynasty served up 3 sentences per day. I wonder if someone is lounging around in a villa somewhere saying, ‘Jeeves, read me today’s Judge Parker if you’d be so kind.’” –Santa Royale With Cheese
“Today we see that Mark is slowly paddling a canoe by himself up to Mike Harris’s isolated cabin all alone in the deep woods, so that he can confront Mr. Harris, a once chain-smoking but now nervous, irritable killer who has framed someone else for his crime, a scheme that can be undone only by evidence that Mark alone has in his possession. And Mike Harris has of course already proven himself to be a deadly shot at long range, so a lone canoeist all exposed in the middle of the river would be an almost trivial target. This story arc is encouraging, so far!!!” –seismic-2
“Please, please, please let us be heading toward a JP/MT crossover! It’s a square-jawed asexual fish-off! Widow Chavez turns out to be an assassin and winds up in a shotgun duel with the unknowingly deadly Peaches! Air to air combat between Avery and Harris! Don’t deny me, old-school comics, I need this.” –geekwhisperer
“Maybe Judge Parker could be given over completely to a tie-in with a new Home Not Shopping Channel. The channel would feature products that no viewer could possibly afford. There would be no call-in number for orders. Viewers would see Peaches and other models endlessly displaying high-end luxury goods, and a parade of wealthy guest stars would drop by to affect a mein of smug indifference while the host gave them the merchandise for free.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box
“I think we’re in for a Phantom of the Opera-type story here. Except instead of a phantom, it will be a clown, and instead of an opera, it will be a really bad play.” –Weaselboy
“You all laugh now, but Clown-9 may be to Spider-Man what the Joker is to Batman. They are already direct opposites; Clown-9 is getting dressed and planning his day, while Spider-Man is laying on the couch watching TV naked.” –S. Stout
“What drugs are they doing over there at Marvel to allow a character resembling a 1950s-one-shot-joke-criminal-from-Batman be introduced as the main protagonist in a 2012 daily Spider-Man comic no one but the people reading this site care about? Because I want some! Don’t those one-step-above-an-intern colorists have any idea how much continuity-arguing and plot-line complications they’re creating for fanboys and comic nerds for the next millennium? I look forward to the day, 30 years from now, when some Frank Miller/Neil Gaiman-esque dreamer grittily reboots this villain in a graphic novel where Hardy Laurel eats the faces off his victims and wears their skin onstage, taking hostages and forcing them to watch his ‘comedic acting’ until they don’t laugh enough, at which point he electrocutes them. Wherein, once again, Spider-Man will merely mope.” –OhMyGod76
“I’m only slightly embarassed to admit that I went through the Mary Worth archives to confirm that Dawn has said ‘Life is brutal’ verbatim on three separate occasions. While not qualified to really offer an opinion, I’d say she’s pretty much out of her gourd.” –Tim
“Shudder to think what it would be like to see Wilbur shutting a door with that determined look on his face, then saunter his way across the room to grab you. I have never felt more empathy for a telephone than the one we see in panel two.” –Chareth Cutestory
“Hello, Quiznos Subs and Sandwiches … no, I will not read the menu to you over the phone. And this is your last warning about this, Mr. Weston.” –pugfuggly
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