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Metapost: Social reminder-y comments of the week!

Hello all! It being the first of the month, it is my day to remind you that, if you enjoy using and/or following jokesters on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or Google+, why, you can follow me on any of those services, merely by clicking the appropriate links previously in this sentece! I post mostly the same things to all of these sites (links to updates to this blog, links to things I write elsewhere, announcements about projects, links to things I think are funny, dumb jokes) so probably just pick the one you like best. Or pick none at all! The choice is yours.

And now, your anti-social comment of the week!

“In the time it’s taking Sam and Avery to blather about getting ready for a fly-fishing trip, entire species of fish have evolved, risen to dominate their ecosystems, and died out again. Meanwhile, Sophie’s learned two guitar chords and Abbey has found a new way to jut.” –Amy Stephenson

And your runners up! Very funny!

‘Wilbur tries to comfort Dawn.’ That is the saddest thing I’ve ever read.” –lorne

“After a week or so of strips listing all the specs of Sam’s new fishing rod, I fully expect to learn secondhand that a recurring character has died off-panel in the meantime. Details will be sketchy at best.” –Doctor Handsome

“At this point (yes, now) I’m really wondering who the demographic for Judge Parker is, outside of Los Mudges. I get it that it’s supposed to be escapist richy-rich fantasy, but really, it’s like having Dynasty served up 3 sentences per day. I wonder if someone is lounging around in a villa somewhere saying, ‘Jeeves, read me today’s Judge Parker if you’d be so kind.’” –Santa Royale With Cheese

“Today we see that Mark is slowly paddling a canoe by himself up to Mike Harris’s isolated cabin all alone in the deep woods, so that he can confront Mr. Harris, a once chain-smoking but now nervous, irritable killer who has framed someone else for his crime, a scheme that can be undone only by evidence that Mark alone has in his possession. And Mike Harris has of course already proven himself to be a deadly shot at long range, so a lone canoeist all exposed in the middle of the river would be an almost trivial target. This story arc is encouraging, so far!!!” –seismic-2

“Please, please, please let us be heading toward a JP/MT crossover! It’s a square-jawed asexual fish-off! Widow Chavez turns out to be an assassin and winds up in a shotgun duel with the unknowingly deadly Peaches! Air to air combat between Avery and Harris! Don’t deny me, old-school comics, I need this.” –geekwhisperer

“Maybe Judge Parker could be given over completely to a tie-in with a new Home Not Shopping Channel. The channel would feature products that no viewer could possibly afford. There would be no call-in number for orders. Viewers would see Peaches and other models endlessly displaying high-end luxury goods, and a parade of wealthy guest stars would drop by to affect a mein of smug indifference while the host gave them the merchandise for free.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“I think we’re in for a Phantom of the Opera-type story here. Except instead of a phantom, it will be a clown, and instead of an opera, it will be a really bad play.” –Weaselboy

“You all laugh now, but Clown-9 may be to Spider-Man what the Joker is to Batman. They are already direct opposites; Clown-9 is getting dressed and planning his day, while Spider-Man is laying on the couch watching TV naked.” –S. Stout

“What drugs are they doing over there at Marvel to allow a character resembling a 1950s-one-shot-joke-criminal-from-Batman be introduced as the main protagonist in a 2012 daily Spider-Man comic no one but the people reading this site care about? Because I want some! Don’t those one-step-above-an-intern colorists have any idea how much continuity-arguing and plot-line complications they’re creating for fanboys and comic nerds for the next millennium? I look forward to the day, 30 years from now, when some Frank Miller/Neil Gaiman-esque dreamer grittily reboots this villain in a graphic novel where Hardy Laurel eats the faces off his victims and wears their skin onstage, taking hostages and forcing them to watch his ‘comedic acting’ until they don’t laugh enough, at which point he electrocutes them. Wherein, once again, Spider-Man will merely mope.” –OhMyGod76

“I’m only slightly embarassed to admit that I went through the Mary Worth archives to confirm that Dawn has said ‘Life is brutal’ verbatim on three separate occasions. While not qualified to really offer an opinion, I’d say she’s pretty much out of her gourd.” –Tim

“Shudder to think what it would be like to see Wilbur shutting a door with that determined look on his face, then saunter his way across the room to grab you. I have never felt more empathy for a telephone than the one we see in panel two.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Hello, Quiznos Subs and Sandwiches … no, I will not read the menu to you over the phone. And this is your last warning about this, Mr. Weston.” –pugfuggly

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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69 responses to “Metapost: Social reminder-y comments of the week!”

  1. commodorejohn
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    6Chix – This is today’s 6 Chix. It’s about sex with apes!

    9CL – Oh man, this is almost enough to make me not hate Seth anymore.

    Agnes – “Grandma does her toenails with a dremel on page two!” This kind of thing is why I love Agnes.

    Dilbert – Kicky outfit. I’ve always found it pretty lame that modern magic hobbyists don’t wear wizard robes and hats with stars on them. C’mon, all you wannabe occultists and Hot Topic Wiccans, you are seriously failing to live up to the hype! [*]

    FC – “And that’s when I shoved the milk carton down his throat, Your Honor.”

    FW – People in the Winkerverse are so unused to smiling that they have to manually manipulate their faces into a smiling position. Keisha used spirit gum to hold her mouth in place before the last panel, which is why her upper lip is so unnaturally high up on her teeth.

    JP – “Are you ready to get a line wet?” sounds like more innuendo, only it sounds more like innuendo that would involve women, and I just can’t believe that Sam could risk getting cooties, even for business purposes.

    Luann – And yet, this is somehow still less icky than Brad and Toni. (Let alone Gunther.)

    Mandrake – Okay, seriously, is Mandrake written by space aliens, or what?

    MT – “I will just go to the house of the man I suspect is the shooter, and tell him I am investigating the shooting I suspect he committed! I cannot see any problems with this!”

    MW – Wilbur’s finally going to call in that favor from his old school buddy from the east coast, and put out a hit on his daughter.

    PBS – Honestly, that was funnier than the last three or so “tortured pun” Sundays. Good one, Pastis.

    Popeye – This is only going to continue to get weirder, isn’t it?

    SM – *facepalm*

  2. Baka Gaijin
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    Aaaugh! All these comments about EVILSCARYCLOWNS! EEEEE! [CLOWNQ!]

  3. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Curses! My quip cut off and abandoned at the end of the thread, just because Josh had to post his stupi – Oooh! Made the float! Nevermind.

    Sheesh, I’m having more mood swings than Edda does the week before her period.

  4. gleeb
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Yes! Another thread killed!

  5. yaoi huntress earth
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#1): 9CWL: Has an interesting ability to make you hate a character less by making everyone else worse.

  6. Santa Royale With Cheese
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to thank the Academy, the Hollywood Foreign Press, my agent, my producer, Josh for hosting this crazy site, TJ – we did it dawg, my wonderful girlfriend – aw yiss baby, and uh, who else, (wrap it up music) I’M NOT FINISHED YET! Dorothy Dandridge, the Electric Company, Mister Hooper – RIP old timer, and uh, I’ve got nothing but (louder wrap it up music) LOVE FOR EVERYONE OKAY THANKS BYE.

  7. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#y156): Oh, and the Green Lantern is gay! Yay! : )

    No “yay” from this fan. Not because of Green Lantern’s sexual orientation, but the ho hum costume they’re giving him. Alan Scott’s GL isn’t properly attired without his purple opera cape. And would it kill DC to let Jay Garrick’s Flash keep his distinctive winged helmet?

    Waiting for Fashion Police to weigh in on this weighty matter…

    @Baka Gaijin (#2): The EVILSCARYCLOWNS are winning, I’m sorry to say. Not only did an EVILSCARYCLOWN design Hardy Laurel’s costume, but DC Comics has hired an EVILSCARYCLOWN to design costumes for their “new and improved” stooper-heroes (see my comments for Anonymous #y156).

    Congrats to this week’s winners!

  8. Calico
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

  9. Weaselboy
    June 1st, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    Woo hoo! Made it back on the float! Thanks, Josh, and congrats to Amy!

  10. Ed Dravecky
    June 1st, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to Amy Stephenson and all the funny folk on the float!

  11. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 1st, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Lockhorns — Mr. and Mrs. Rod Blagojevich aren’t playing just any kind of house… they’re playing BIG house. And Rod’s wearing part of his prison uniform.

  12. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 1st, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB — Here, There Be Dragons.

    Luann — Here, There Be Drag Queens.

  13. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 1st, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Ignatz (y231): I read that one. That was Howard’s teamup with Doctor Strange. And yeah, that schools this storyline a hundred times over. Although Stan probably left these stories to an anonymous intern years ago.

    @Shrug (y232): Bad Boise, but good for mashing.

  14. Austria
    June 1st, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to all the floaters of the funny, and the Kings and Queens of Comedy!

    Ach, once again I’m too late for the main thread! Anyone mind if I dump my snark here?

    reFOOB: “You should be ashamed of yourselves! What were you thinking, playing pretend! Next I suppose you’ll want to catch fireflies. What on Earth is wrong with you?”

    MW: At this point, there is an entire corner of my OOCP collection devoted just to Dawn saying “Life is brutal.”

    PBS: I love this strip.

  15. ALee
    June 1st, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: My guess is that Wilbur’s calling Dawn’s mom on the East Coast. “Yeah, I give up. You can have her back now.” Mildly interesting, maybe…

  16. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 1st, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Just getting back to comics and comments after a delightful visit with wossname (part of which was spent on our own Rex & June tableau), so congrats, float-folk!

    (Oh, and I’ll have a picture from the wossname, bourbon babe, seismic-2, and Ecureuil Ecument dinner soon, too.)

  17. Jim North
    June 1st, 2012 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#2): Aw, don’t worry, BG. I’m sure pretty soon everyone will be done clowning around!

  18. Señor Tortilla
    June 1st, 2012 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#7): I wonder how much retconning that will have to undergo.

  19. seismic-2
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#18): The “Green Lantern is Gay” story line takes place on Earth-2, which is already an entirely rebooted world under the New 52 initiative at DC.

  20. Poteet
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    All hail Amy Stephenson, and holy moly, what a great week. Thank you, floaters, it felt great to laugh so hard.

    Special congrats to OhMyGod76, who vaulted onto the float with his first try. And to Wilbur & Sammiches, thank you for being so, um, inspiring.

  21. Poteet
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#20): Sorry, I meant to say “his or her first try.” In any case, congrats!

  22. commodorejohn
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#19): Again, I have to be just a teensy bit underwhelmed by this. I mean, not only is it merely homosexuality, it’s also under an alternate-universe caveat? Wasn’t Krypto undergoing a sex and breed change and having puppies in, like, the ’60s, under the same caveats? This is pretty tame by comparison.

  23. bats :[
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

  24. Olive Oyl
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    Life is Brutus.

  25. Señor Tortilla
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#22): The comic book world has more patches and bizarre workarounds than the classic Mac OS.

  26. Señor Tortilla
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#25): “Patches”? I mean “retcons”. Yeah, still in Mac mode. Seriously, did you know that the classic Mac OS isn’t actually a real OS at all, it’s just a GUI built on top of shared libraries?

  27. seismic-2
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#26): And up through version 3.2, Windows was pretty much a DOS file loader masquerading as an operating system. It’s called “marketing”, just like hyping a story arc as “breakthrough” because it features a gay couple who are never named and who vanish after 2 days.

  28. Brutus
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Olive Oyl (#24): You better believe it, Toots.

  29. tallyHO
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#26):

    But, oh those shared libraries! It would be like the Dream Clip Art Collection for Legacy Strips: close to sublime (with severe limitations on memory and some weak points that would limit impressive modernization)

  30. tallyHO
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#26):

    Maybe a better analogy than the clip art one is how Peanuts TV specials are purportedly made. They are based upon strips which Schulz did himself. I’m not sure if the direct-to-DVD movies are included in this (one of which Stephan Pastis and one of Schutz’s sons, Craig, are credited as writing.)

    Not the best solution, but the best one available (????)

    (sorry, Winston Churchill, I’ll bastardize anything you said just to tweak you while you are beyond the grave. Because I know there is still a chance you could come back as a cigar chomping zombie with impressive strategies and tactics, just know I’m kidding.)

  31. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#27): Well, you’re essentially right, but I don’t think there was a Windows 3.2, was there? On the consumer side it went from Window 3.11 to Windows 95, and on the commercial, server side, Windows NT 3.1 was a complete non-DOS operating system already. And I think NT went from 3.1 directly to 4.0.

    // But that was a long time ago.

  32. tallyHO
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    Forgot to congratulate all the COTWers, leaders and floaters alike!

    re: spiderman The Amazing Clown-9:

    I’ve heard of cars with tail fins but duck heads? I guess it beaks walking!

    @The Real Dan (earlier today#241):

    Same here. It caught me off guard. I expected The Arch Enema, Evil Master…er…Mastermind, Clowd-9 to just be putting on his boots and talking to no one in particular.

  33. Señor Tortilla
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#27), @tallyHO (#29): It was mostly trying to explain the “Continuity Snarl” issues. And yes, I realize that Windows is based on DOS, moreso earlier on.

    I was mostly hoping commodorejohn would catch on, as he is well-versed in the ways of the classic Mac. It makes me sad that they didn’t try to piggy-back off of the Apple II: that way it would’ve had an impressive software library right from the start. But alas, the Apple II went its separate ways, with the glorious Apple IIGS: it had to be underclocked because it was too amazing for marketing, a sound chip that rivals the SID, backwards compatibility with Apple II, full color…sigh.

    OS X (they don’t even Mac OS X anymore) is so far detached from the old Mac OS…

  34. Señor Tortilla
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#33): *call it Mac OS X anymore.

  35. tallyHO
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    Hell, that may as well have been Clod-9 instead of “Clowd-9”. It doesn’t matter what they call him.

    Someone tell Marvel to update their algorithm for the Stan Lee Hack-o-matic Comic Strip Maker 1965 program. I fear the punch cards are becoming worn.

  36. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#31):
    “And I think NT went from 3.1 directly to 4.0.”

    Oops. There was a version 3.5.

  37. seismic-2
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#31): Between Windows NT 3.1 and NT 4.0 there was NT 3.5. After looking over the bug reports (which made War and Peace look brief by comparison), I decided to wait for 4.0. (This was on my home PC, not a server.) There was also Windows NT 3.51 for the Power PC chip, back before “Windows” became essentially half of “Wintel”.

    Anyway, you’re right about Windows 3.2 – there was no such beast. I should have written “up to 3.2″ or “through 3.11″, but as you say, it was a long time ago. So long ago, in fact, that a Windows 3.11 computer will probably show up in Mark Trail, about 10 years from now.

  38. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#23): Windows . . . DOS-something or other . . . 3.1 . . . 4.8 . . . 7.6 . . .

    What really matters: that’s excellent! Horrifying, but excellent!

  39. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 1st, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to the fair float folk. Some of these comments I had read already. I remember laughing at Amy Stephenson’s winning entry. Others are tickling me for the first time. Very much included is pugfuggly’s. Poor Wilbur.

  40. Dale
    June 1st, 2012 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    I have a lot of questions about logic, science, physics and facts; but the important point is this:

    If you’re going to jump to a conclusion, follow a geodesic or Occam will cut you.

  41. Marzipan
    June 1st, 2012 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    I don’t think there needs to be a competition-based extra-sadness component to Funky Winkerbean: it’s already terribly, terribly sad. They are excited about being invited to VISIT a college, which literally everyone is encouraged to do, to potential be a part of a losing basketball team (5-11 last season) of a college in Ohio whose claim to fame is 1. a massacre 2. agreeing to really publish Les Moore’s awful book and 3. unoffical motto being “Can’t Read, Can’t Write, Kent State”.

    Oh, girls. You can do better. I mean, not really, I’ll be surprised if you ever make it out of Westview, but still, this is why – what’s that saying, “shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars”? Maybe try that. God knows it can’t hurt.

  42. lorne
    June 1st, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Congrats Amy and all my fellow also-rans.

  43. Peanut Gallery
    June 1st, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#Y107):

    “Ah, my brief reign of terror is over and I shall not rule the world, but on the other hand I now have a whole pack of these heavenly desserts, so I don’t care.”

    Note to super-heroes in case I ever become a super-villain: Yes, I can be bought off with snack cakes.

  44. Amy Stephenson
    June 1st, 2012 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Wowie, this is a first! Thanks to all, and congrats to the fine runners-up who probably deserved to be in the top spot after all. But I’ll gladly sidle in all Judge Parker-style and accept the honors.

    I’m curious to see how Wilbur’s going to screw up his attempts to snap Dawn out of her drama-queen funk. Clearly the situation isn’t enough of a train wreck to warrant Mary’s intervention just yet.

  45. Peanut Gallery
    June 1st, 2012 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#Y164):

    “Why a duck?”

    “All right, why a duck? Why a no chicken?”
    “Well, I don’t know why a no chicken; I’m a stranger here myself.”

  46. Erich Clapton
    June 1st, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    You know, I still have the original Mac computer (bought in 1984). You may say it wasn’t this, it wasn’t that. The bottom line is that it WORKED. Right now. Not after you downloaded (wasn’t such a thing then) fixes. And it kept on working. I fired it up about 8 months ago (yeah, I still have the software floppies) and it still works. This computer went with me on two ships (once as Main Propulsion Assistantand the second as Chief Engineer) and it never failed. How many computers now can claim that type life? BTW, it still has all the developers signatures etched into the case (this is NOT an urban legend). So, yeah, go ahead. Make fun of the Macs. For a tool to be useful, it must be intuitive. For some reason, Windows has never measured up to that maxim.

  47. Amateur
    June 1st, 2012 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    S-M: The clown costume with the — sperm? protozoa? what IS that? — on it, would have been bad enough by itself. So would the car with the duck head. So would the non sequitur for the sake of a boring and pointless rhyme. All of them together almost make me want to give up on life.

    Curtis: Curtis adopting a British accent in the last panel . . . actually makes about as much sense as anything else that has ever happened in this strip.

  48. tallyHO
    June 1st, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Erich Clapton (#46):

    I don’t think anyone was making fun of them. I certainly was not.
    As it goes, an operating system is a bunch of stuff cobbled together/that works together above a kernel layer, right? So, despite what was written about it being a GUI atop of system libs, well….The Finder wasn’t just a GUI…at least I don’t think it was. It isn’t considered a shell like early Windows, right? The Finder is (i think) it’s own lib. But, I’m so totally not even close to knowing for sure. So totally.

    Bah. The machines are good…the old ones are good…unless they froze…and showed you a bomb with a lit fuse.

  49. Elk Meadow
    June 2nd, 2012 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    Way to go, Iris! Now Mabel’s going to want to see the police! And if she doesn’t, Rex and June might wonder why.

  50. Droopy Says
    June 2nd, 2012 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    The A-snoozing Spiderman: I’m guessing that Lieber and Lee haven’t gone to a play since summer camp. Or figured out that Peter Passive acts like a dick.

    My theory is that Lieber & Lee are in a snit over the movies; something to do with Spiderman not getting as much respect as the Avengers. If I’m right, we’ll see Generic Brand the Hollywood Star fall victim to Clown 9′s first prank. Then Clown 9 will spray himself with his own radioactive seltzer water, become a supervillain, and trash the other Avengers when they return from Hollywood. Spiderman will save the day, making them look even worse.

    Creepy Les: Wait, are the girls already at Bent State? What happened to the usual week of smirks and feeble puns as they prepared for the trip, and the second week of smirks and feeble puns as they make the trip?

    Family Circus: Yes, Jeffy, you have fingers on your feet. Some day they may help you climb a few rungs on the evolutionary ladder.

    Gasoline Alley: That’s a remarkably subtle and convincing facial expression in panel two. No, I don’t mean the look of nasty greed on Slim’s face. I mean Lucky’s bewilderment at Slim’s words. “He knows a word with four syllables! Who’d have thought?” Even more surprisingly, Slim didn’t eat Lucky’s catfood while he was away.

    Mock Trail: Mike Harris looks astonished. “You have evidence!” he exclaims. “Have you shown it to the sheriff? No? He must see it at once! I am a local bush pilot and I will fly you to him in my plane! Get in my plane and I will fly the direct route which takes us over the Mountains of Doom!”

  51. commodorejohn
    June 2nd, 2012 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#33): Heh, I would’ve caught on, only I left for a get-together just after posting that…

    …yeah, Mac OS was a piece of work, alright. Lotta very interesting new ideas and innovative takes on old ones (my god, resources and the forked filesystem, why did nobody else ever do anything with that?) It’s just too bad they addressed the few key flaws holding it back by ditching it altogether for skinned BSD; it wasn’t any more limited in that regard than Windows 3.1, and Microsoft managed to upgrade it into a solid workhorse OS just fine (granted, it took ‘em a couple decades to do it, at least outside the server/workstation market, but the end product – I am of course referring to XP – was damn solid.) Hell, Apple even had the 68k -> PPC transition as a potential switchover point to a more forward-looking architecture, if they’d been thinking of it…coulda been so much more interesting that way…

    Can’t recall if I’ve linked to it here before, but folklore.org is a fascinating read, a shared narrative account of the Mac’s development, by various key team members. Good stuff.

  52. commodorejohn
    June 2nd, 2012 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    Also, I didn’t get a chance to comment on it this morning, since GoComics was being futzy, but…Arlo & Janis, best strip on the comics page today. No question.

  53. Poteet
    June 2nd, 2012 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    GA — Kill him, Lucky. You can find a way. I know it.

    RMMD — Yay!!!

  54. Poteet
    June 2nd, 2012 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    MW — Wilbur has been doing countless favors for someone. Wilbur. Favors. Countless favors. *brain explodes*

  55. tallyHO
    June 2nd, 2012 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    Read Nancy, yesterday’s and today’s.

    Spiderman…what if….what if Clown-9 is an intentional parody of super-villains in the movies they have been making? I hate to throw out some validation for the character because it is an absolutely stupid one so far.

    This is where the men in the white coats come and just handle the situation while everyone stands around looking at them put on the straight-jacket. In this case, it will be some sort of anathema to Clown-9, funny villlain, to be apprehended in a straight jacket followed by a punch line… or a line of people punching him.

    Finally, so the original Green Lantern is Suddenly Gay. That’s alright. What was he doing otherwise?
    The thing that gets me–and someone involved must’ve thought of this, they just hadta know:

    The Original Green Lantern’s powers have a weakness and it has always been wood.

    They just hadta know this. You can’t just overlook something like that. What is the world coming to? Is everyone a Clown-now?

  56. tallyHO
    June 2nd, 2012 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    okay.
    finally, Mary Worth: I guess this Wilbur dude is gonna get a Gigolo for the girl. Sure, I’m sure someone who follows the strip may know better than I. However, I couldn’t read it without thinking that was the plan he has in mind.

    gggggrrr…

    okay.
    finally, pluggers, we get the message: you are all sage beyond our years. You know tribal remedies and really wish you could call doctors and specialists by simpler names from simpler times. You pine to say

    an apple a day keeps the witchdoctor/apothecary/ voodoo priest/wizard/ shaman away

    ah, geez….
    finally!!!!:

    How have I gone this long with out busting out a “tHIrsty & Lois” parody? Has Clown-9 addled my mind so much that nothing sacred is ignorable?

    This one is simple.
    The rule of threes apply to Saturday’s strip and right now the current gagline is lackluster, not funny enough (or at all).

    So, applying the Rule of Three results in:

    Thirsty, obviously drunk, leaning next to and leering at Lois. Hi stands nearby and is visibly flabbergasted.

    Thirsty sez nothing. Instead, Lois, visibly flustered, delivers the final part of the gag:

    “And, yet, Thirsty has no trouble hitting on my all afternoon.”

    Bonus, Earth -2 “tHIrsty & Lois”: There is a fourth panel! Just like good ol’ Sparky would do! Yet, let’s call this rule The Mighty Force of Four!

    In this one, Hi delivers an extra setup for the real gagline:
    “Would it be a foul if I hit his balls?”

    Lois, not missing a beat, returns his serve and sez:
    “Aces, honey. Game, Set, Match!”

  57. Maggie the Cat
    June 2nd, 2012 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    MW- Sweet… so Wilbur is having Dawn’s ex’s kneecaps busted. Way to put down the sandwich and be a real parent, Wilbur.

  58. seismic-2
    June 2nd, 2012 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    MW: “My good friend Giorgio…. where are you? I’ve done you countless favors.” Sorry, Wilbur, but merely obeying a restraining order does not count as a favor.

  59. Maggie the Cat
    June 2nd, 2012 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    RMMD- Full of LOLs… I’m loving it.

  60. Uncle Lumpy
    June 2nd, 2012 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#52):

    Re: Arlo and Janis — True dat. A genius like Kotzky could make A3G great in the ’60′s with the large format and crisp oil-based inks, but Johnson does as well with thumbprints on postage stamps. Astonishing work.

  61. Baka Gaijin
    June 2nd, 2012 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    Clown 9. Epic win? You’re the opposite of that. You’re not even scaring me, Baka Gaijin.

  62. Gold-Digging Nanny
    June 2nd, 2012 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    At last, we see the pitfalls of hiring Tommie to be a midwife. A few months from now, look for her to offer Nina the eucharist in lieu of delivering her baby.

  63. OhMyGod76
    June 2nd, 2012 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#20): Thank you, Poteet.

  64. Doctor Handsome
    June 2nd, 2012 at 4:58 am [Reply]

    @Olive Oyl (#24): I wasn’t wearing me specs the first time I read that, and I thought you said, “Life is Batiuk.” I almost beer-bonged a gallon of bleach right then and there, but I fortunately reread it.
    Holy balls, this was a funny-ass week.

  65. Liam
    June 2nd, 2012 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    “I think we’re in for a Phantom of the Opera-type story here. Except instead of a phantom, it will be a clown, and instead of an opera, it will be a really bad play.” –Weaselboy

    Well said.

  66. Liam
    June 2nd, 2012 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    MW-”He can’t refuse me this favor. It is the day of his daughter’s wedding.”

    MW 2-I was right. Wilbur is turning to the mob to take out Dawn’s ex and his new girlfriend.

    MT-”I found this anti-smoking gum. You are trying to quit smoking therefore you are the shooter. I didn’t graduate top of my class at the Slylock Fox School of Detecting for nothing.”

    RMMD-”Why can’t they be two attractive twenty something year olds with large breasts fighting,” Rex silently thinks to himself.

  67. Crazy Jay
    June 2nd, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    6/1 FW: The position Kent State offers? Power Forward (i.e. ANG bullet sponge!)

  68. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    June 2nd, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: “BRAAAAINS!!!!!!”

  69. Amy Stephenson
    June 2nd, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#58): I now pronounce “Way to put down the sandwich” my new favorite put-down.

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